Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[su...]]

2catsintheyard, I am so sorry to hear of your pain but know you are in good company.  I'm only a short-time user who has had a horrible time with being Rx'd a benzo and can relate to the difficulties with medical professionals who either have minimal/no experience with benzo withdrawals or who fall into the dismissive camp.  Quite frankly, it sucks. 

 

I would agree that a good therapist can be an asset during this time.  I had never utilized therapy before but knew that this experience warranted additional support, so I have been seeing a therapist once a week who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy and has a background in working with pain management and traumatic brain injuries (I do not have either of these issues but her experience is applicable).  She's not familiar with benzo withdrawals but she is very sympathetic and her background lends itself to an understanding of how to help patients navigate anxiety during a healing process.  With COVID, it's all televisits, but I am so glad that I started the therapy.  I am thankful to have a supportive husband and family but too often I find myself falling into a despair or feeling helpless mode with them likely because they are such safe places and sources of comfort.  Because there was some anxiety to begin with that prompted my Dr to prescribe me the benzo in the first place (regardless of whether I SHOULD have been prescribed them or not is a different matter), we are able to address and better understand those fears/worries so that I can navigate them moving forward.  Also, while I cannot control the symptoms of benzo withdrawal, I can control how I handle the symptoms and my mindset about healing from benzo withdrawal.  The therapist keeps me on point in this regard, making sure we focus on positives and improvements--regardless of how small--because this is clearly a process of healing and a process of time.  Never ever did I think that I would be here, but here I am.

 

I hope your visit with the psych NP goes well and he/she is an advocate for you, regardless of their clinical experiences with benzos.  Wishing you the best as you navigate the road ahead. 

 

Ginger, that's awful.  I just don't understand how someone could walk out of a room like that.  If you can't or don't want to help a patient, then at least attempt to guide them to someone else who can. 

 

Bibs Jo, after my experience and from what I've all read now about benzos, I don't think it's unusual at all because clearly we all have very different chemical make-ups and there is no definitive rhyme or reason to who heals quickly and who doesn't nor does it seem you can predict how someone will do based on dosage amount or the time on the drug--something medical professionals must take into account, but unfortunately so many do not.  All I can think about it my Dr. saying "but I've prescribed such low doses to little old ladies who seem to do just fine."  Oh let me count the ways to deconstruct this shite.

 

With that, I have stabilized again, the best I think I will be able to at this point in my grinding so-called taper.  A jump/leap/hop/what have you will come soon.  I've held at .067 for over 2 weeks and will drop down again sometime around this weekend.  Mild DR and a feeling that my equilibrium is off are the worst of my symptoms right now (along with a weird chemical taste in my mouth, a sensation in my jaw I cannot quite describe, continued emotional swings, cog fog, and the muscle burning--which frankly I've just become accustomed to--however, I am sleeping 6-7 hour stretches so THIS is a most welcomed and good sign). 

 

Best,

 

Amanda

 

 

[[Ha...]]

Hi everyone,

 

This group has been quiet lately! I hope that means you are all doing well.  I'm having a rough time of it, just feeling like I'm constantly in a fog, so tired all the time, short-term memory is shot and so scared that I will never get better.  I also still haven't managed to start weighing my dose and getting ready to taper accurately, because there was an issue with the scale I bought so I am waiting for a replacement.  I'm pretty miserable and very scared.  I keep trying to believe it will get better, but am starting to feel like maybe this is just how I'm going to be now.  Maybe the memory problems aren't even from the benzo w/d, maybe I have dementia.  I don't know.  I told a family member the other day about my memory problems and that I thought they were from benzo withdrawal and she said, "hasn't that been going on for a long time?" Yes, it has, since last fall.  It's coming on a year now.  I'm despondent today.

 

Haimona

[[Bi...]]

Haimona,

 

I have had difficult cognitive symptoms including memory issues as well. But they come and go. It happens every tome I take a dose reduction, and then get much better when I hold. It will probably get better for you as well!

 

I spend a lot of time doing practices to calm down my CNS and my thoughts. 4-7-8 breathing (Andrew Weil), mindfulness meditation (CALM app), and Qi gong (YouTube) have helped me so much.

 

Praying and hoping you feel better soon!

 

Bibs jo

[[2c...]]

Thanks everyone for the information and encouragement.  It really helps!

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

 

This group has been quiet lately! I hope that means you are all doing well.  I'm having a rough time of it, just feeling like I'm constantly in a fog, so tired all the time, short-term memory is shot and so scared that I will never get better.  I also still haven't managed to start weighing my dose and getting ready to taper accurately, because there was an issue with the scale I bought so I am waiting for a replacement.  I'm pretty miserable and very scared.  I keep trying to believe it will get better, but am starting to feel like maybe this is just how I'm going to be now.  Maybe the memory problems aren't even from the benzo w/d, maybe I have dementia.  I don't know.  I told a family member the other day about my memory problems and that I thought they were from benzo withdrawal and she said, "hasn't that been going on for a long time?" Yes, it has, since last fall.  It's coming on a year now.  I'm despondent today.

 

Haimona

 

I’m taking a bit of break from this space as I continue to reduce, but wanted to hop on and give you a big virtual hug, Haimona. Here’s the truth: you have done an incredible job of reducing your dose, but the dose is still substantial enough to be really messing with your brain. A reminder that Benzos are filthy liars. The belief that we will never heal comes from this poison. And if you can, write yourself a note to post on your wall, or ask a family member to continue to repeat: I AM SAFE, I AM HEALING, I WILL RECOVER, EVEN IF IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT! We are healing, even when we are struggling.

Fear has been my biggest adversary through this. And when I confront it, release it, it gets easier.

In regards to your memory: I certainly understand your concern, but even last fall you were reducing, so until you are off and continuing to heal, don’t waste too much time focusing on what will be. Where the mind continues to go, the body will follow. You can do this! I am praying that you feel an overwhelming peace and that you will press on. You’ve got this!

I have this link on my phone so I can remind myself that I will get through. Take a read.

 

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/coping-skills/coping-with-waves/

 

Hang in there.

[[Ha...]]

Hi everyone,

 

This group has been quiet lately! I hope that means you are all doing well.  I'm having a rough time of it, just feeling like I'm constantly in a fog, so tired all the time, short-term memory is shot and so scared that I will never get better.  I also still haven't managed to start weighing my dose and getting ready to taper accurately, because there was an issue with the scale I bought so I am waiting for a replacement.  I'm pretty miserable and very scared.  I keep trying to believe it will get better, but am starting to feel like maybe this is just how I'm going to be now.  Maybe the memory problems aren't even from the benzo w/d, maybe I have dementia.  I don't know.  I told a family member the other day about my memory problems and that I thought they were from benzo withdrawal and she said, "hasn't that been going on for a long time?" Yes, it has, since last fall.  It's coming on a year now.  I'm despondent today.

 

Haimona

 

I’m taking a bit of break from this space as I continue to reduce, but wanted to hop on and give you a big virtual hug, Haimona. Here’s the truth: you have done an incredible job of reducing your dose, but the dose is still substantial enough to be really messing with your brain. A reminder that Benzos are filthy liars. The belief that we will never heal comes from this poison. And if you can, write yourself a note to post on your wall, or ask a family member to continue to repeat: I AM SAFE, I AM HEALING, I WILL RECOVER, EVEN IF IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT! We are healing, even when we are struggling.

Fear has been my biggest adversary through this. And when I confront it, release it, it gets easier.

In regards to your memory: I certainly understand your concern, but even last fall you were reducing, so until you are off and continuing to heal, don’t waste too much time focusing on what will be. Where the mind continues to go, the body will follow. You can do this! I am praying that you feel an overwhelming peace and that you will press on. You’ve got this!

I have this link on my phone so I can remind myself that I will get through. Take a read.

 

https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/coping-skills/coping-with-waves/

 

Hang in there.

 

Marwegs, thank you for these caring and inspiring words.  It does me good to know there are people who not only get it, but still can hold faith for me that things will get better, that this is all part of the healing process, that there is still every reason to be hopeful.  On weekends it's a bit easier as I'm not constantly being brought up against my failures of memory and cog fog at work, but every day I have to fight not to become despairing.

 

Bibs jo, thank you too for your kind and encouraging thoughts.

 

I will keep putting one foot in front of the other -- what else is there to do, really? -- and trying to stay positive.

 

Thanks, everyone.

 

Haimona

[[su...]]

Haimona, I’m so glad your weekend time is better. 

 

Thank you for sharing that link, Marwegs.  Some much needed advice and encouragement there. 

 

Sending healing vibes to all.

[[Bi...]]

Hi All,

 

A few weeks ago I requested help to switch over to liquid micro tapering and with the help of all you came up with a plan and obtained all of the supplies. My MD does not support this method for me due to the use of alcohol and my history of alcoholism. I’m sober now 17 years.

 

So instead I did another dry cut from .25 to .1875 two weeks ago. My symptom ramped way up on that last cut. It’s been really rough.

 

From all that I have read and observed here, it seems like those who have micro tapered off Ativan have had a much smoother exit from this drug than those who dry cut and hold.

 

I’ve decided to take back control and move over to the liquid taper using a drop of alcohol. I’m running it by my therapist tomorrow. Hoping she and my MD can come up with a plan to keep my accountable while using a tiny amount of alcohol to taper.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

Bibs jo

[Guest [ba...]]

Hi All,

 

A few weeks ago I requested help to switch over to liquid micro tapering and with the help of all you came up with a plan and obtained all of the supplies. My MD does not support this method for me due to the use of alcohol and my history of alcoholism. I’m sober now 17 years.

 

So instead I did another dry cut from .25 to .1875 two weeks ago. My symptom ramped way up on that last cut. It’s been really rough.

 

From all that I have read and observed here, it seems like those who have micro tapered off Ativan have had a much smoother exit from this drug than those who dry cut and hold.

 

I’ve decided to take back control and move over to the liquid taper using a drop of alcohol. I’m running it by my therapist tomorrow. Hoping she and my MD can come up with a plan to keep my accountable while using a tiny amount of alcohol to taper.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

Bibs jo

 

You'll need a couple of milliliters of 80 proof alcohol to dissolve the drug.  An alternative to alcohol is propylene glycol.

[[Ma...]]

Hi All,

 

A few weeks ago I requested help to switch over to liquid micro tapering and with the help of all you came up with a plan and obtained all of the supplies. My MD does not support this method for me due to the use of alcohol and my history of alcoholism. I’m sober now 17 years.

 

So instead I did another dry cut from .25 to .1875 two weeks ago. My symptom ramped way up on that last cut. It’s been really rough.

 

From all that I have read and observed here, it seems like those who have micro tapered off Ativan have had a much smoother exit from this drug than those who dry cut and hold.

 

I’ve decided to take back control and move over to the liquid taper using a drop of alcohol. I’m running it by my therapist tomorrow. Hoping she and my MD can come up with a plan to keep my accountable while using a tiny amount of alcohol to taper.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

Bibs jo

 

Bibsjo, are you able to ask your MD to prescribe you a compounded liquid? This is what myself and JuJuBi switched to with success.... you would just have to search for a compounding pharmacy in your area, and ask your doctor to prescribe a solution of 0.1mg/ml

Up to you... just wanted to mention that you do have options!

Good luck

[[Bi...]]

Thank you Badsocref and Marwegs,

 

It looks like I do have options

 

1. Find a compounding pharmacy that can make an Ativan solution that is 0.1mg/ml

or

2. Use propylene glycol instead of vodka to make my own

 

I am SO grateful for this support group!

 

Bibs Jo

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Option 3 might be to use a commercial suspending vehicle like ORA plus/ORA sweet.  It costs more, but it's actually formulated to do what you're trying to do.  Alcohol or PG will also work well.

 

Making a 0.1 mg/ml solution will be very easy to do.

[[st...]]

Hi there!

 

Before I begin my taper off of 1.5mg Lorazepam, I think it is in my best interest to space it out into 3 doses prior to doing any cuts. I currently take all of it at night. Any experience/advice on how to slowly get there? I was thinking about taking .25 off the nightly dose and moving it to the morning to start.

 

Thanks!

[Guest [ba...]]

Hi there!

 

Before I begin my taper off of 1.5mg Lorazepam, I think it is in my best interest to space it out into 3 doses prior to doing any cuts. I currently take all of it at night. Any experience/advice on how to slowly get there? I was thinking about taking .25 off the nightly dose and moving it to the morning to start.

 

Thanks!

 

I assume you take it at night to help with your sleep.  If true, you may want to keep taking a single dose at night (for sleep).  Three equal doses will even out the coverage during the daytime, but probably won't work as well for sleep since you'd only be taking 1/3 as much.

 

If you decide to dose 3x per day anyway, you may feel like you don't get as much drug for a few days.  It depends on how you do the switch from 1 to 3 doses per day.  There are ways to schedule the doses on the first day of the transition that should help to smooth the ride.  I can explain in more detail if you decide you want to go that way.

[[Bi...]]

Badsocref,

 

Do you know how many mL of any of the alternative agents I would need to use in a 50 ml solution? I remember it was 1 mL of vodka with 49 mL of water with one .5 mg tablet. Would it be the same with the others?

 

Thank you so much!

 

Bibs Jo

[Guest [ba...]]

Badsocref,

 

Do you know how many mL of any of the alternative agents I would need to use in a 50 ml solution? I remember it was 1 mL of vodka with 49 mL of water with one .5 mg tablet. Would it be the same with the others?

 

Thank you so much!

 

Bibs Jo

 

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about??  What 'others'?

[[su...]]

Hello, everyone.  I want to first thank the buddies here who welcomed me a little over a month ago and provided very helpful advice, information, and support in what has been my darkest and scariest experience.  I jumped yesterday, and while I have no illusions of grandeur that the physical and mental repercussions of being on a benzo will suddenly disappear today or tomorrow (oh how wonderful that would be though), I do have a sense of relief that I am no longer putting that insidious drug in my body. I also have a sense of hope. 

 

To say I was blinded-sided is an understatement, but I am very thankful for finding this site, for JuJuBi welcoming me and steering me to this group, and for being offered solace that I am not alone in this experience.  I am still very troubled by how quickly things turned into a nightmare—it’s all too fresh still.  However, I am stable and the healing has begun. 

 

Just an update on the neurology follow-up: both my brain and cervical spine MRI’s were unremarkable (other than normal aging/wear-tear processes and the very small lesion in my frontal lobe that has not changed), so the neurologist had to chalk up the abnormal findings in my initial exam to the withdrawal.  He noticed marked improvement in my reflex responses as well.  Although he was attentive and concerned over my experience, I could still detect his cynicism over my “dilemma.”  I thanked him kindly for his time and walked out of the office.

 

I will post some updates along the way and won’t be absent from checking out/utilizing the BB forum.  For now, I am doing the best I can given the circumstances, and from where I was weeks ago, it’s a welcomed change.  Not where I want to be, but I’ll get there. 

 

Cheers and all my best,

 

Amanda

 

[[Ma...]]

Congrats Amanda... I bet you feel relief! Now the healing continues.

 

I am suffering so deeply... i have never felt more scared throughout my taper, than I do today, and that’s saying a lot. I think I’m having a reaction to MSG, which I didn’t realize was in something I ate yesterday. I have nausea that is so debilitating, air hunger, anxiety and chills and shakes. How on earth am I going to finish this taper? I feel terrified.

 

Adding to the fear, I found out that someone I had a conversation with last week has COVID, so I have to be tested in an hour. Some of the symptoms cross over, so It has added to my stress level, for sure.

 

I guess so many of you on this thread had a gentle time at the end of your taper, so I was hoping for the same. I’m blindsided and don’t know how I’m going to get through.

Any words of comfort or advice are welcomed 😢 holding my dose for now.

[[Bi...]]

Congrats Amanda... I bet you feel relief! Now the healing continues.

 

I am suffering so deeply... i have never felt more scared throughout my taper, than I do today, and that’s saying a lot. I think I’m having a reaction to MSG, which I didn’t realize was in something I ate yesterday. I have nausea that is so debilitating, air hunger, anxiety and chills and shakes. How on earth am I going to finish this taper? I feel terrified.

 

Adding to the fear, I found out that someone I had a conversation with last week has COVID, so I have to be tested in an hour. Some of the symptoms cross over, so It has added to my stress level, for sure.

 

I guess so many of you on this thread had a gentle time at the end of your taper, so I was hoping for the same. I’m blindsided and don’t know how I’m going to get through.

Any words of comfort or advice are welcomed 😢 holding my dose for now.

 

Marwegs,

 

I have felt so scared so many times also, so I know how that feels. For me, this has always ended being a wave that passes. The only thing that I can do during those times is to remind myself that it will pass - that it always does.

 

I'm adding you to the top of my prayer list and asking that this wave will pass and be replaced with substantially increased healing for you. I don't know for sure, but I think that the hardest waves must do the most healing work.

 

Hoping it passes soon & that your test is negative,

Bibs Jo

[[Bi...]]

Hi All,

 

After months of hitting a wall with my prescriber, he finally got in touch with the right person at a compounding pharmacy and is ordering a liquid 0.1mg/ml suspension! I need to wait still another 10 days to pick it up as I am out of town for another week and a half.

 

But this is huge progress. Thank you to those of you that encouraged me to keep trying and giving suggestions. I'm finding that it is so important for us to do our own research and make suggestions to our prescribing doctors. Gone are the days that I will trust an MD without doing my own research.

 

Also, I slept 7 hours last night and the night before that. I actually slept in and was late getting ready for work today. Sleep has been so illusive for me, so these last two nights were so restorative.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support!

Bibs Jo

 

[[Ma...]]

Bibsjo, thank you... your comforting words do so much for my spirit. And thank you for your prayers... I keep all of your in mind.

Covid test is done and now I wait. But I don’t feel as anxious about it - I’m quite certain this is a wave. I read back through my journal, and almost every bout of nausea and stomach upset was food related. I haven’t had many of them, as I’ve been pretty careful and cook very clean. But once in a while I let my guard down when feeling better. I will persevere.

 

Bibsjo, isn’t sleep such an integral part of our mental focus through this? So happy you have had a couple good nights. It does wonders. Glad you’re getting the liquid!!! Let me know if you need help with any numbers once you get the solution. Take good care 💗

[[Gi...]]

Hello, everyone.  I want to first thank the buddies here who welcomed me a little over a month ago and provided very helpful advice, information, and support in what has been my darkest and scariest experience.  I jumped yesterday, and while I have no illusions of grandeur that the physical and mental repercussions of being on a benzo will suddenly disappear today or tomorrow (oh how wonderful that would be though), I do have a sense of relief that I am no longer putting that insidious drug in my body. I also have a sense of hope. 

 

To say I was blinded-sided is an understatement, but I am very thankful for finding this site, for JuJuBi welcoming me and steering me to this group, and for being offered solace that I am not alone in this experience.  I am still very troubled by how quickly things turned into a nightmare—it’s all too fresh still.  However, I am stable and the healing has begun. 

 

Just an update on the neurology follow-up: both my brain and cervical spine MRI’s were unremarkable (other than normal aging/wear-tear processes and the very small lesion in my frontal lobe that has not changed), so the neurologist had to chalk up the abnormal findings in my initial exam to the withdrawal.  He noticed marked improvement in my reflex responses as well.  Although he was attentive and concerned over my experience, I could still detect his cynicism over my “dilemma.”  I thanked him kindly for his time and walked out of the office.

 

I will post some updates along the way and won’t be absent from checking out/utilizing the BB forum.  For now, I am doing the best I can given the circumstances, and from where I was weeks ago, it’s a welcomed change.  Not where I want to be, but I’ll get there. 

 

Cheers and all my best,

 

Amanda

 

Congratulations on your freedom from benzos.  While there may still be waves ahead and possibly be a long healing process, this is the last time you will go through this.  The last time!!  I'm praying that it is not too difficult and that you will start the new year with most of the healing behind you. Ginger

[[ld...]]

Hi everyone, I haven't been here that much as my taper wound down. I finished this week after going down by 0.02mg a day for 3+ months. I could not have done it without BenzoBuddies. Thank you to everyone who reached out to me (you know who you are) and also to those who came before me. I spent a lot of time on this site when I first came. The suffering is real.

 

Saw this article today: https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/937997?nlid=137520_3901&src=wnl_newsalrt_200925_MSCPEDIT&uac=112109DY&impID=2585833&faf=1

 

We all know this is dangerous stuff. I do think our plight will become more and more well-known as time goes on.

 

Hang in there, everyone. It gets better.

 

LD

[[su...]]

LD,

 

Congratulations!  Thank you for posting that link.  How the warning about these drugs wasn’t more highlighted before is maddening given the flippant attitude from so many medical professionals.  Let the warnings ring loud and clear. 

 

I finished the other day and have faith it will indeed continue to get better.  Best of luck to you as the healing journey begins. 

 

Amanda

[[su...]]

Hello, everyone.  I want to first thank the buddies here who welcomed me a little over a month ago and provided very helpful advice, information, and support in what has been my darkest and scariest experience.  I jumped yesterday, and while I have no illusions of grandeur that the physical and mental repercussions of being on a benzo will suddenly disappear today or tomorrow (oh how wonderful that would be though), I do have a sense of relief that I am no longer putting that insidious drug in my body. I also have a sense of hope. 

 

To say I was blinded-sided is an understatement, but I am very thankful for finding this site, for JuJuBi welcoming me and steering me to this group, and for being offered solace that I am not alone in this experience.  I am still very troubled by how quickly things turned into a nightmare—it’s all too fresh still.  However, I am stable and the healing has begun. 

 

Just an update on the neurology follow-up: both my brain and cervical spine MRI’s were unremarkable (other than normal aging/wear-tear processes and the very small lesion in my frontal lobe that has not changed), so the neurologist had to chalk up the abnormal findings in my initial exam to the withdrawal.  He noticed marked improvement in my reflex responses as well.  Although he was attentive and concerned over my experience, I could still detect his cynicism over my “dilemma.”  I thanked him kindly for his time and walked out of the office.

 

I will post some updates along the way and won’t be absent from checking out/utilizing the BB forum.  For now, I am doing the best I can given the circumstances, and from where I was weeks ago, it’s a welcomed change.  Not where I want to be, but I’ll get there. 

 

Cheers and all my best,

 

Amanda

 

Congratulations on your freedom from benzos.  While there may still be waves ahead and possibly be a long healing process, this is the last time you will go through this.  The last time!!  I'm praying that it is not too difficult and that you will start the new year with most of the healing behind you. Ginger

 

 

Gingermint,

 

Thank you so much for the support along the way.  And yes, a most vociferous YES, to the last time EVER.  Just wish we didn’t have to learn this in such a painful way, but we are and will be stronger for it. I believe this now. 

 

Best,

 

Amanda