Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Ju...]]

Hello to my lorazefamily,

 

I have not been out here in a while.  On top of my full time job I have taken on the task of helping my grandson with remote schooling. His parents both have to work outside the home. He goes back to school on the 8th so that is a relief. But until then my days are pretty full at the moment.

 

It sounds like many of us had a rough day yesterday.  I have been in a bit of a wave for a few days. Yesterday was quite the rough one. Suffered heavy anxiety waves throughout the day until about 4. I had a hard time working.  I had a meeting with my CEO and amazingly it went really well.  Fake it until you make it they say. I also had to hold a training session all while in a wave. It was a day I do not want to repeat. Today was much improved. Whatever the cause I am holding here at .39 until I feel better. Then I will decide on a very slow and low amount to taper and keep moving on.

 

I wish everyone well.

 

JuJuBi

 

 

 

 

[[Gi...]]

Could someone please help me!  I am 66 yrs old and have been on benzodiazepines for 40 years.

Started @1.5 mg Xanax for 36 yrs. I was placed on clonazepam in 2014 after being admitted to a psyc ward, little did I know then that I was suffering tolerance withdrawal. I decided I had to get off this demon medication and the psychiatrist took me off too fast and I ended up in the hospital in withdrawal so bad I thought I would surely die. There they put me on 2mg of Ativan , I’ve been on it for a year, a year of pure torture. So now not only do I suffer from tolerance withdrawal but also inter dose withdrawal. Could someone please help me with a withdrawal plan? What is best? Dry cut? It’s such a tiny pill. Water titration from what I’ve read seems to be the answer but I get lost in the math part.

I take 2 mg, but dose 4 times a day, meaning I take 0.5 mg in the morning, 0.5mg at noon, .025 about 3 in the afternoon to help with the inter dose withdrawal, another .25 about 6 pm and 0.5mg at bedtime.

I just need some direction please.

 

Hello Lilywhite,

You have come to the right place for help.  I'm 67 and have been tapering ativan for 4 years.  I'm planning to take my last dose on December 31st and be done.

 

I considered going to Valium but decided against it.  Many people have trouble with the transition.  I don't know if that was the right decision but Ativan is the only benzodiazepine I have ever taken and I decided to stay with what I knew.

 

I switched to a liquid taper when it was too difficult to cut the pills equally.  I have post-concussion syndrome and the thought of a scale to measure bits of a pill was daunting.  As a nurse I'm accustomed to diluting and titrating meds so that is what I do. 

 

I recommend holding at your current dose until you feel stable.  Tapering when unstable can be difficult.  If you have been taking benzodiazepines for 40 years a few more won't make much difference.  Tapering slowly from stability and incorporating long holds can make the taper much easier.  This is just my opinion and experience.

 

There are sites here that can help you with making a solution or you can ask for an rx for liquid ativan.  It comes as a 2mg/ml strength.  Don't despair, you can do this and there is much help available.  Check out the Long Hold Support Group and the Daily Microtapering Support Group here on Benzobuddies. Ginger

 

 

[[Gi...]]

Hello to my lorazefamily,

 

I have not been out here in a while.  On top of my full time job I have taken on the task of helping my grandson with remote schooling. His parents both have to work outside the home. He goes back to school on the 8th so that is a relief. But until then my days are pretty full at the moment.

 

It sounds like many of us had a rough day yesterday.  I have been in a bit of a wave for a few days. Yesterday was quite the rough one. Suffered heavy anxiety waves throughout the day until about 4. I had a hard time working.  I had a meeting with my CEO and amazingly it went really well.  Fake it until you make it they say. I also had to hold a training session all while in a wave. It was a day I do not want to repeat. Today was much improved. Whatever the cause I am holding here at .39 until I feel better. Then I will decide on a very slow and low amount to taper and keep moving on.

 

I wish everyone well.

 

JuJuBi

 

Hello JuJuBi,

 

Sorry you had a rough day.  You were in good company, it was a bad day for a number of us.  I'm better today, still sx but tolerable.

That you or anyone can actually work while tapering amazes me.  My hat is off to those of you who work and/or are raising children.

 

You're doing well in your taper I'd say.  Slow is the key. G.

[[be...]]

Hi friends,

  Just stopping by to say hello. I, too, have had a rough few days. I’m in my first real wave since walking off - precipitated by hormones 🙄 and a recurrence of the thrush I had last month. Did y’all know thrush is a symptom of withdrawal? I learned that this week on the forum. My thrush began because of antibiotics, but it’s lingering and flared during this wave. The wave has been pretty draining, but overall, I’ve done alright. I keep using the skills I learned in taper - distraction, stay moving, give myself a few attainable goals each day - and it’s working out so far.

  You all continue to be an inspiring and encouraging bunch. I’m loving all the progress and low numbers!! Everyone hang in there...your waves will pass and you’ll be off before you know it.

 

Beauty

[[te...]]

Hi all ,

Sorry to hear of everyone’s tough days but they will pass .

I am almost finished my taper I will probably stop on my bday if not before .

I am at 0.3 mls and what a journey it has been . Thank go for this site . Good luck to all

Best Lisa

[[Gi...]]

Hi all ,

Sorry to hear of everyone’s tough days but they will pass .

I am almost finished my taper I will probably stop on my bday if not before .

I am at 0.3 mls and what a journey it has been . Thank go for this site . Good luck to all

Best Lisa

 

tech21,

I'm so happy to hear you will soon be benzo free.  I hope to join you the end of the year.  Best of luck to you. G

[[Ma...]]

Ohhhh, Tech.... to hear how close you are. It’s the hope I need today. So happy for you.

 

Gingermint... you are so close, what a celebration that will be!

 

Struggling today buddies.... a lot. Forcing myself to exercise to get through it. I have no motivation these past few days, and these waves usually last 4-5 days for me, so I eagerly await my next window.

 

Goodnight everyone

[[Ha...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I had a somewhat better day yesterday and then bam, today, my cog fog and memory issues are so bad. I had just left the kitchen where I was cleaning up and putting things away, was back out in the living room, and thought, "did I put the kettle on for tea?" I couldn't for the life of me remember.  I went back and checked and yes, I had.  How do I know this is the taper and not actual dementia? It started when I resumed my taper and went below .5 mg, but could that just be a coincidence? Will it ever get better? I am feeling scared today.

 

Haimona

[[Ma...]]

Hi Haimona, I just want to encourage you... the brain is so affected by these drugs, and being forgetful is a normal part of every day stress, and especially when there is a very strong sedative being weaned out of our bodies.

I re-read the Ashton Manual yesterday to affirm every symptom that’s in the range of normal... it’s staggering. Gaba receptors are literally all over our bodies, so it’s not surprising when we feel like our bodies and MINDS are failing us!

I woke up this morning with literally no clear vision in my right eye. I panicked, woke up my husband, and he muttered ‘it’s the poison’. Sure enough, it has since normalized.

So sorry you’re scared. I’m scared too. But remember that the Benzos are dirty, filthy liars. We will heal... it’s how we were designed. You are a warrior, mid-battle. You’ve got so much healing to look forward to!

Sending a warm hug today

[[Ha...]]

Hi Marwegs,

 

Thank you for the encouragement! I went back and read (well, skimmed) the Ashton Manual supplement that she wrote in 2004, and it seems like she is saying cognitive recovery from long-term benzo use may be incomplete or sometimes may not happen at all. These memory problems have been happening since I started the taper from .5 to .375 last October, and seem to be getting worse all the time.  I am so scared that I will never get my memory back.  I started the taper (like many of us I'm sure) because of my fears of losing my memory, but my memory was basically fine (if I recall correctly, ha) before I started the taper.  I'm trying so hard to be strong and keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep working somehow through it all, and not to lose hope -- but it's so hard to keep believing I will heal.

 

I'm so sorry you are struggling too.  These damn pills that we were all prescribed truly are poison. 

 

Haimona

[[Ma...]]

Fear is so powerful, and it’s my biggest obstacle through this... my husband keeps reminding me that I can’t look past each day, and that the fear will hinder my recovery. I pray that same thing for you - that you take it one day at a time and trust that once you are free from this process, that your memory will recover. I find it encouraging news that your memory troubles only started during taper... suggesting maybe that it’s a symptom of withdrawal and not permanent. 

[[Gi...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I had a somewhat better day yesterday and then bam, today, my cog fog and memory issues are so bad. I had just left the kitchen where I was cleaning up and putting things away, was back out in the living room, and thought, "did I put the kettle on for tea?" I couldn't for the life of me remember.  I went back and checked and yes, I had.  How do I know this is the taper and not actual dementia? It started when I resumed my taper and went below .5 mg, but could that just be a coincidence? Will it ever get better? I am feeling scared today.

 

Haimona

 

Haimona,

 

I also had a better day yesterday  felt near normal.  Then about an hour after my 7 pm dose a wave set in.  Rough night and day today, a bit better since mid afternoon but I  feel very tired.

 

Yes, the memory issues are part of benzo wd.  I have it too.  On window days my memory is good, in waves, forget it.  Same issues I had after my concussion, just a different type of brain injury.

 

You will get better.  Our bodies are very efficient at healing.  The stress of these unprecedented times contribute to the difficulty.  So, in effect, we have been dealt a double whammy, benzo wd and extra stress from pandemic life.  Be kind to yourself.  Hugs, Ginger

[[Ha...]]

Thanks, Marwegs.  I keep holding on to the thought that the memory issues may be withdrawal related since they started during the taper.

 

Gingermint, thank you for your encouraging words too.  I find that on "good" days (not sure if they are window days or just better days) my memory is less awful, but it hasn't been good since last October.  I have some experience with concussions too -- I may send you a private message if that's okay.

 

This is a double whammy alright.  So much pandemic fear, so much isolation, having to work during all of it -- it's a good thing I am so stubborn and determined, or I'm sure I would have reinstated by now.  But I am very determined to get off this poison as soon as I (reasonably and carefully) can.  I feel like the longer I wait, and the older I get (I'm middle aged), the more damage will be done.

 

I really do appreciate all the support here.  I'm sorry to be bringing all this fear here, but I don't know what else to do with it.

 

Haimona

[[Gi...]]

Thanks, Marwegs.  I keep holding on to the thought that the memory issues may be withdrawal related since they started during the taper.

 

Gingermint, thank you for your encouraging words too.  I find that on "good" days (not sure if they are window days or just better days) my memory is less awful, but it hasn't been good since last October.  I have some experience with concussions too -- I may send you a private message if that's okay.

 

This is a double whammy alright.  So much pandemic fear, so much isolation, having to work during all of it -- it's a good thing I am so stubborn and determined, or I'm sure I would have reinstated by now.  But I am very determined to get off this poison as soon as I (reasonably and carefully) can.  I feel like the longer I wait, and the older I get (I'm middle aged), the more damage will be done.

 

I really do appreciate all the support here.  I'm sorry to be bringing all this fear here, but I don't know what else to do with it.

 

Haimona

 

Feel free to pm me anytime. G

[[Ha...]]

Thanks, Gingermint.  I sent you a PM.

 

Haimona

[[kr...]]

Hello everyone-

I am 4 weeks off today and want to give an update:

 

most of my symptoms seem to be gone after a month.. but the lingering ones are tinnitus , blunted hearing (which really concerns me) and still blunted emotions...  what is gone is blurry vision, balance issues, rubbery legs, sore teeth and gums, lack of appetite and weight loss..  I've gained 10 of the 20 pounds i lost..  I may also have some PTSD from all of this..  also my sleep is better.. not great but better

 

If not for the hearing issues I would say I am in pretty good shape considering the hell I have been through that past 5 months.

 

Its nice to be on the other side and things do get better

[[be...]]

Love this update!! Happy for you, kry, and I’m praying the ears resolve sooner than later!! ☺️

[[Ma...]]

Kry, this is great! My teeth have been hurting the past two days and I wondered why... another symptom! Sun is shining here, this little community of ours gives me hope. 💗

[[Ha...]]

Kry, I'm so happy for you! It's still early days in being benzo free, so from everything I have heard and read, there is an excellent chance your lingering symptoms will go away with time.

 

Marwegs, I've had the mouth pain too.  I think in my case some of it is from grinding and clenching while I'm not sleeping well.  It is listed as a symptoms in Baylissa's book, which I just finished reading and found very heartening.

 

Haimona

[[kr...]]

I was convinced that i was developing cavities and gum issues..  so I took extra care of my teeth and gums..  but they ached and thought I was going to loose them..  I then went for a cleaning and my dentist said my teeth and gums were in perfect shape..  this totally went away

 

during my taper I also had an MRI, CAT scan, hearing tests and eye exam & physical and everything come up perfect..  all great news and seems weird I still have blunted hearing.. but could be do some ear pressure I have..  if and when this clears up I will be the happiest person on the planet

[[Ha...]]

Kry,

 

I do recall some years ago visiting an ENT because I had noticed I was having some trouble with my hearing (couldn't hear softer speech, especially when there was background noise).  She said that when your jaw is clenched, even unconsciously, which it can be due to stress/anxiety, it puts pressure on the ears, which can cause sounds to be muffled.  She actually had me stick my fingers in my ears, and showed me that I could feel my jaw muscle when I did that.  I hadn't realized you could clench your jaw without clenching your teeth.  This may or may not be the case with you, but I wanted to let you know it could be a possibility.

 

Haimona

[[kr...]]

Kry,

 

I do recall some years ago visiting an ENT because I had noticed I was having some trouble with my hearing (couldn't hear softer speech, especially when there was background noise).  She said that when your jaw is clenched, even unconsciously, which it can be due to stress/anxiety, it puts pressure on the ears, which can cause sounds to be muffled.  She actually had me stick my fingers in my ears, and showed me that I could feel my jaw muscle when I did that.  I hadn't realized you could clench your jaw without clenching your teeth.  This may or may not be the case with you, but I wanted to let you know it could be a possibility.

 

Haimona

 

that's interesting because that sounds exactly like my issue..  hard to hear softer speech, especially when there was background noise and sounds seem muffled..  (but my hearing test were ok)

 

how is your hearing now?

[[Ha...]]

I found it so interesting at the time because my hearing tests were mostly normal (I did have a bit of sensorineural hearing loss, which is the higher pitched frequencies all of us start to lose in middle age).  My hearing now is fine.

 

Haimona

[[kr...]]

you just made my day Haimona..  how long did it seem to take to clear up?

[[Ha...]]

Kry,

 

I am glad that I was able to help! I honestly don't remember how long it took my hearing to get better, but I know over time I just stopped noticing it as a problem.  I know meditation and breathing exercises helped a lot, as I was able to learn how to stop clenching my jaw and be more relaxed. 

 

Actually it's good I am remembering that.  I probably should start doing those again.

 

Haimona