Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[...]]

I was remembering a couple of supportive members, FisherK and Sierra7 of this thread who finished their tapers in early 2019, right around when Powerball, Tech, and I joined. FisherK passed along this last message before he got busy with life again.

 

"The themes of the stories often go like this:

 

Start off tapering as fast as a doctor tells you is safe.

Find out he is wrong.

Hold and stabilize.

Start up much more slowly.

Switch to a Daily Micro-taper.

Start up again s-l-o-w-l-y being careful not to get ahead of your body's ability to heal.

Successfully step off the drug without long-lasting damage.

 

Better to skip the first 3 steps!"

 

 

[[Ju...]]

So looking out a little but would like to have a plan in my head to focus on , even if it changes, and need some help. Currently have 1 mg tablets.

 

Scenario 1- taper from .75 to .50 next Friday. 3 doses. What should each pill weigh?

Scenario 2-taper 15% off .75 next Friday. 3 doses. What should each pill weigh?

As always, thanks for everyone who helps here. It is much appreciated.

 

Waking up with awful surges...

 

Wanttheoldme,

 

.75 to .50 is a pretty big cut. I know I would have trouble with that one. Some maybe can but not sure I would go that big on the first run. You might try cutting another 10% and see how that goes.

 

When I was dry cutting I had someone help do the math. In my benzo brain state I could not wrap my head around it.

 

If you look back to the previous days posts. beautyfromashes has a post on this thread June 18th that refers to cutting the percentages from pills. The post example is for .5 mg pills but I think the general math should still apply.

 

I hope this helps. Maybe others will weigh in that are dry cutting.

 

Are you waking in the night with surges or in the morning?

 

JuJuBi

[[ld...]]

I was remembering a couple of supportive members, FisherK and Sierra7 of this thread who finished their tapers in early 2019, right around when Powerball, Tech, and I joined. FisherK passed along this last message before he got busy with life again.

 

"The themes of the stories often go like this:

 

Start off tapering as fast as a doctor tells you is safe.

Find out he is wrong.

Hold and stabilize.

Start up much more slowly.

Switch to a Daily Micro-taper.

Start up again s-l-o-w-l-y being careful not to get ahead of your body's ability to heal.

Successfully step off the drug without long-lasting damage.

 

Better to skip the first 3 steps!"

 

(By the way I recommend reading through some of Sierra7's posts- she tapered from low dose, short term Ativan use like so many of you and was very knowledgeable and helpful to us getting started).

 

Luey, thanks for the above. EXACTLY the sort of thing I love: quotes and awesome people to follow/read their wise words.

 

So looking out a little but would like to have a plan in my head to focus on , even if it changes, and need some help. Currently have 1 mg tablets.

 

Scenario 1- taper from .75 to .50 next Friday. 3 doses. What should each pill weigh?

Scenario 2-taper 15% off .75 next Friday. 3 doses. What should each pill weigh?

As always, thanks for everyone who helps here. It is much appreciated.

 

Waking up with awful surges...

 

Wanttheoldme,

 

.75 to .50 is a pretty big cut. I know I would have trouble with that one. Some maybe can but not sure I would go that big on the first run. You might try cutting another 10% and see how that goes.

 

When I was dry cutting I had someone help do the math. In my benzo brain state I could not wrap my head around it.

 

If you look back to the previous days posts. beautyfromashes has a post on this thread June 18th that refers to cutting the percentages from pills. The post example is for .5 mg pills but I think the general math should still apply.

 

I hope this helps. Maybe others will weigh in that are dry cutting.

 

Are you waking in the night with surges or in the morning?

 

JuJuBi

 

JuJu, when you say "waking ... with surges" what exactly do you mean???

 

Wanttheoldme, did you click on the link I sent? It is the taper program. VERY helpful.

 

LD

[[Wa...]]

Hi crew, rough night.

 

Right now I feel so trapped in my own head. This taper has me so scared. I have a great wife, daughter and home life. Up to awhile ago was a competitive triathlete and mountain biker. Never any addictive tendencies. Have always been comfortable making critical decisions (spent27 years in fire, law enforcement,EMS and military) Now doing the simplest tasks seems so tough.

When I started with the anxiety issues I told the docs I was so wary of getting hooked. Two of them told me ‘take them, it’s a tiny dose’ you won’t have a problem. As I was suffering I listened, and then about two weeks ago figured it out. Now I’m consumed by getting off. It’s running my thoughts daily, and I’m shit scared. Feels like I’m looking up at Mount Everest wearing shorts and sandals and being told...climb that rock!

I’ve never been a whiner or high maintenance type, in fact I always helped coworkers through tough times. Now I feel like I have no mechanism to do that. Empty and trapped is how I feel. Just want to laugh again, be able to do nothing comfortably, look ahead and see myself in the future...

 

I’m sorry for posting so many questions early, but am just so damn overwhelmed now. Positive mindset is so tough for me to gain control of now. It was another of my strong points prior to Benzo hell.

 

I really need help with the math so if anyone can help with the pill weights, that would be huge. I am very grateful for finding this group of folks. Someday I hope to be the one helping others through, but now that seems so distant.

 

A

 

[[po...]]

Want, I used some brain operant conditioning which I learned somewhat at the midpoint of my taper. I tried this after weighing each pill and doing that daily nightmarish cut to precision (or at least trying to). So I took my next bottle and weighed all pills together, determined the mean weight of the pills in the bottle, and then I cut from that average for every pill. I think quickly my brain and body assumed each pill weighed the same. I never knew, so I assumed it was either at the mean, slightly above or below. Once I did that I cut all the way down to my end. This approach is theoretically part of mind/body science.

 

Now, what I also DID, was that when I got a new bottle, I did the same and then adjusted my new cuts according to the new mean weight, and it was always a tiny bit different bottle to bottle, but it did not matter. You can do this with any number of pills (10, 15 etc.) but mathematically, the more pills you weigh at one time to make this calculation, the less variance you will have in approximating the weight of each pill.

 

I have always wanted to explain this here, but now that I am off, I feel more confident sharing this, because it did then work for me all the way to the end. Early on Luey knew I tried all kinds of tapering cuts, even making a few serious mistakes.  I am the creative/experimental type and I wanted to get off quicker, but my body said 'NOT!'

 

I began tapering at the end of 3/2019 and I changed to this technique around 8/25. This may work for you but nothing is guaranteed. Powerball.

[[Wa...]]

Juju, I know the feeling about the math and that’s my problem also. Thanks for the encouragement.

[[Gi...]]

Hi crew, rough night.

 

Right now I feel so trapped in my own head. This taper has me so scared. I have a great wife, daughter and home life. Up to awhile ago was a competitive triathlete and mountain biker. Never any addictive tendencies. Have always been comfortable making critical decisions (spent27 years in fire, law enforcement,EMS and military) Now doing the simplest tasks seems so tough.

When I started with the anxiety issues I told the docs I was so wary of getting hooked. Two of them told me ‘take them, it’s a tiny dose’ you won’t have a problem. As I was suffering I listened, and then about two weeks ago figured it out. Now I’m consumed by getting off. It’s running my thoughts daily, and I’m shit scared. Feels like I’m looking up at Mount Everest wearing shorts and sandals and being told...climb that rock!

I’ve never been a whiner or high maintenance type, in fact I always helped coworkers through tough times. Now I feel like I have no mechanism to do that. Empty and trapped is how I feel. Just want to laugh again, be able to do nothing comfortably, look ahead and see myself in the future...

 

I’m sorry for posting so many questions early, but am just so damn overwhelmed now. Positive mindset is so tough for me to gain control of now. It was another of my strong points prior to Benzo hell.

 

I really need help with the math so if anyone can help with the pill weights, that would be huge. I am very grateful for finding this group of folks. Someday I hope to be the one helping others through, but now that seems so distant.

 

A

Hello Want,

 

I'm sorry you had a rough night.  When I first realized that I had a dependancy to Ativan I felt much the same.  I was already fighting my way back from a brain injury.  Now, in my mind, I had been convicted of something I didn't do.  I felt like I'd been handed a prison sentence.  I felt completely trapped, angry at my doctor.  I had a long road ahead of "hard time" to do with no way out except to go through the fire.  I was so scared.

 

It took time but eventually I came to grips with my predicament.  My only option was to get off in the best way I could.  I took control of my taper, found benzo buddies and figured out what I had to do.  I wish I could say I never have moments of dispair but it still happens sometimes.  This seven week wave has been hard but it's getting better.  More good days now.

 

There is great help here for you with a dry taper.  I do a liquid taper so not much help with dry cutting and mg scales.  We are all here for you.  G

 

[[Wa...]]

Thank you Ginger. Glad your 7 week wave is slowly improving.

[[Wa...]]

So day 3 of taper from1mg down to .75 ( 3 doses of.25) I tapered off 1mg quickly because I wasn’t on it for very long.  Usually my normal dose of .75 was ~.25 around 9am and.50 around 2pm. This seemed to sustain me comfortably on most days. I wanted to be more constant with taper and that’s why I broke it into three doses, but that is not keeping me comfortable at all, it’s like the .25 isn’t strong enough. Is it ok to stay with the two dose/different dose (.25/.50) if that’s working, or is that going to be a problem as I taper?

[[Ju...]]

Wanttheoldme

 

I asked this similar questions a couple days ago.  Luey answered it very well. I probably won't answer quite as well but I will give it my best shot.

 

"Listen to your body"

 

There are no set rules to tapering.

Not everyone has issues with interdose withdrawal which is the reason some split into 3 or even as many as 5 doses.  If you felt better on the 2 doses then I would go with what works best.

 

When I first started my taper I dosed twice.  9 am and 2 pm equal doses. Then I switched it up and split in 3 and my night dose was lower than the others.  That worked for me. We are all individual in how we metabolism this drug.

 

JuJuBi

 

 

[[Wa...]]

Thanks juju. I’m learning to listen to my body. I might need to just stay put at .75 in two uneven doses for awhile longer and see how that plays out.

[[Ap...]]

Thanks juju. I’m learning to listen to my body. I might need to just stay put at .75 in two uneven doses for awhile longer and see how that plays out.

 

Want,

I also weighted my 3 daily doses different. Morning was bigger dose to get the day going on the right foot. Mid day was a smaller dose because it only needed to hold me 6 hours until my bedtime dose. Bed time dose was same as morning dose (big) so it could carry me through 12 hours.

 

You are trying to even out the amount of concentration of the drug in your blood but at the same time fight a psychological battle with yourself so whatever you FEEL is working, rock with that and then taper from there. 

 

 

[[Ju...]]

Good evening to all

 

I am not sure what to think of all this but I am on day 9 virtually symptom free. I have a little bothersome skin tingling/burning and a brain zap this morning but that's it. Sleep is decent.  20 days ago I started out very slow reducing .002 a day. Then I started gradually going up until at .009 a day. Then I made an error and did .014 (5 days ago). I kept going with my .009 for 3 days and still symptom free. Yesterday I kicked it up to .010 and today .012.  I don't plan on taking it higher than that at least for now.

Am I playing with fire? Can this build up and catch up with me? Am I over thinking this? Lord knows I have been known to overthink things.

If I keep this pace it puts me at about 12% in 7 days. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful for the lack of symptoms and able to up my reduction. Looking to your experience for guidance.

 

Hoping all are doing well

 

JuJuBi

 

 

[[Ap...]]

Good evening to all

 

I am not sure what to think of all this but I am on day 9 virtually symptom free. I have a little bothersome skin tingling/burning and a brain zap this morning but that's it. Sleep is decent.  20 days ago I started out very slow reducing .002 a day. Then I started gradually going up until at .009 a day. Then I made an error and did .014 (5 days ago). I kept going with my .009 for 3 days and still symptom free. Yesterday I kicked it up to .010 and today .012.  I don't plan on taking it higher than that at least for now.

Am I playing with fire? Can this build up and catch up with me? Am I over thinking this? Lord knows I have been known to overthink things.

If I keep this pace it puts me at about 12% in 7 days. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful for the lack of symptoms and able to up my reduction. Looking to your experience for guidance.

 

Hoping all are doing well

 

JuJuBi

 

Personally I wouldn't call 12% in 7 days 'playing with fire'....its pretty much in line with Aston. 7 days/10%. With that said, everyone is so different it seems. Historically my sweet spot was that 15-20% range per week-ish.

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JuJuBi,

 

Go with it!  But take it easy too and don't get too carried away, there's no rush. Enjoy!

 

Luey

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Feels like I’m looking up at Mount Everest wearing shorts and sandals and being told...climb that rock!

 

Hi Wanttheoldme! 

 

I hope you don't mind me saying this but thanks for making me laugh. 

 

I know you're in hell right now but I have no doubt you are going to be the first person to summit Everest with just shorts and sandals! 🧗‍♂️

 

Right now you're just working out the details.

 

Wishing you moments of peace,

 

Luey

[[Ju...]]

 

JuJu, when you say "waking ... with surges" what exactly do you mean???

 

ld

 

What I call surges - comes on sudden and intense, peaks and dissipates.

 

Early in my taper I had morning "anxiety surges" shortly after waking. Shaky, nausea, anxiety, fear, tingly skin. This is gone now, go figure.

 

current surge- Wake suddenly at 4 ish  feeling hot, my skin is tingly. Once I change position is settles and I go back to sleep. Hoping this one decides to leave like the first.

 

JuJu

[[ld...]]

Good morning Ativan taper Buddies,

 

How did everyone sleep?

 

Luey suggested some light reading  (old posts from other Buddies) and I dove right in! It was a little overwhelming, but I WISH I could reach out to Sierra7. She seems like an amazing person. She got off of BB to complete her healing. I really am amazed with this site. What an amazing find!

 

JuJu, I think I have surges also. I wake up shaky, nauseous, full of fear and anxiety. I thought it was due to cortisol and the need to take my dose.

 

Wanttheoldme, hope today is a little better than yesterday so far?

 

I have a few questions for the more experienced tapers here...

 

I'm doing a DLMT. I am considering going down by .01mg every 10 days. Today I took 14.9 mL (0.149mg). Do you think that is too fast? Too much? I noticed that a lot of BB do it that way, likely for ease of dosing???

 

I have only dosed once a day (in the AM). In your experience here and from reading other's posts, do you think spreading the doses out through the day would be beneficial? I'll say, my day usually sucks until evening, then I have a heavenly window.

 

Is anyone on this thread in the medical field and working??? I'm curious how that is going also.

 

Thanks all!

 

LD

[[Su...]]

Hi everyone, has anyone tapered too fast and had to 'hold' and when I say hold has anyone taken longer than 2 weeks to stabilize? I tapered too fast but it's been almost 3 weeks that I'm holding and I still haven't stabilized... Tapering Ativan sucks!

[[ld...]]

Hi SuperJess,

 

I actually updosed a little to try to stabilize. And then held for one week. I know a few have held for two weeks. People who cut and hold (dry taper) may stay longer as they aren't decreasing daily anyway. Maybe they can chime in.

 

LD

[[Ju...]]

Tapering Ativan sucks!

 

Welsome SuperJess

 

I think we all strongly agree with that statement!

 

I know several on our thread have had to hold for several weeks to stabalize. I did updose in the beginning to stabilize.  For me it really didn't work but I had other stuff going on.  I have not had to hold since then but have had to slow way down for a few weeks.

 

It is helpful if you fill in your profile signature so all of us know what you are on and where you are at in your taper. Allows the group to better help you.

 

JuJu

[[ld...]]

Hi all,

 

The next few days are going to be super hard. I'm closing my business of three years. I just feel so very down.  Through this process, I have felt poorly most of the day but have relief at night. It is very difficult for me to tease out my underlying anxiety and depression from the side effects of the withdrawal. I keep doubting that it is the withdrawal. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

 

Thanks,

LD

[[ra...]]

Try to slow down the process .... do not rush.

 

I want to get rid of 1 mg of Lorazeapam(Ativan). I've been taking it for 15 years.

 

I do not close my business.

 

I just started  my  konus  very, very slowly. I reduced the percentage reduction, shortened the days of retention.I tried to reduce the dosage every day, but on day 7 I felt tired and stopped.

The first 4 months I did experiments. And during all the time I continued to work, to operate the machine. All the time I want to speed up the process .... But I also want to have a comfortable life and calmly, quietly reduce the pill. Once a month I feel benzo flu, and still I can work.

 

[[Ju...]]

Try to slow down the process .... do not rush.

 

I want to get rid of 1 mg of Lorazeapam(Ativan). I've been taking it for 15 years.

 

I do not close my business.

 

I just started  my  konus  very, very slowly. I reduced the percentage reduction, shortened the days of retention.I tried to reduce the dosage every day, but on day 7 I felt tired and stopped.

The first 4 months I did experiments. And during all the time I continued to work, to operate the machine. All the time I want to speed up the process .... But I also want to have a comfortable life and calmly, quietly reduce the pill. Once a month I feel benzo flu, and still I can work.

 

Welcome Rainbow,

 

How much have you reduced? And are you on Ativan?

I don't see a signature telling us where you are at in your taper.

 

JuJu

[[...]]

Hi LD,

 

The closing of your business sounds very stressful.  I'm sending you strength and energy so you can take care of yourself in the process.  I hope you're able to take breaks, eat nutritious food and sleep well if you can.

 

I think what you're saying about underlying symptoms is so important and relevant for many of us. It can be hard to figure out the difference between withdrawal symptoms and symptoms of the condition that brought us to benzos in the first place.

 

It is so easy to blame benzos for everything.  I so wish I never would have needed to take them but really they saved my life.  I needed to get my underlying condition of severe anxiety symptoms under control with medication first before tapering. That being said I think it's best to do everything possible to limit their use. As soon as I felt better I started tapering.  I will likely be on medication (hopefully not benzos!)for the rest of my life because I was experiencing increasingly severe, frequent and completely debilitating depression/anxiety episodes. 

 

I hope you will be able to sort out your difficult symptoms.  It can be so challenging when so many symptoms from withdrawal are similar to the bio-chemical illness of depression/anxiety.

 

Best wishes to you this challenging week.

 

Luey