Post Benzo Protracted Withdrawal Support Group

[[pa...]]

regarding passion flower and lemon balm.  I use an alcohol free tincture and take 15 drops of each 2x a day.  On occasion when I'm feeling a little jittery I add 10 drops of valerian.  I don't like to use valerian because it uses the same receptors as benzodiazepines.  However, I have seen references for its use for helping with protracted symptoms.  When I use it for a few days and then don't use it for a week or two I do not feel as if I need it.  The passion flower and lemon balm seem to be enough most of the time.  Mayo and other reliable sites also list Kava Kava but say to be careful with them - they are potentially unsafe and have been banned OTC in several European countries.  I would post the websites, but I'm afraid I don't know how to do that.  Just google herbs for anxiety Mayo Clinic or another good site is the University of Maryland Medical.  Google for anxiety and also the individual herbs.  You will also find theanine suggested.  I have used that and it is also helpful - especially to calm down at bedtime.  Good luck,

 

Paresthesia

[[we...]]

here is the mayo site, thanks.

 

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/herbal-treatment-for-anxiety/AN01803

[[Ho...]]

Thank you Parasthesia - and Welly - I'm going to look on the web and see if I can find a reputable supplier of these tinctures.

Hoping

[[we...]]

Dear  Vancouver girl, I read your post over several times, and I absolutely love the way you write , but I didn't get everything.

 

You said that you don't get anxiety, but you get protracted head stuff, and that it is so strong. If it's possible for you to elaborate, I would love it.

 

In addition to anxiety, which I suppose  is anxiety, since I didn't know anxiety before to put a name to it, I get this mental tension. If there was pain for the brain, this would be it.  I feel the tension building until it overwhelms, and I just want to shut my brain down. If I lie down and close my eyes, or if I take a hot shower or bath, I can recharge my brain and it will carry me another half hour. It's almost as if my brain damage is healing by making new connections, but each new connection uses up whatever nutrients and energy my brain can provide and I am depleted after a short while.  My mental energy runs out and I become mentally exhausted,  I feel waves of fatigue washing over me, starting around one in the afternoon and don't let unless I recharge.

 

Unless I can calm my brain down before going to bed, I will most certainly have a broken night.  I'm never calm enough to feel sleepy, so I just lie down at the same time every night hoping that my body and brain know what to do. I often take a long time to fall asleep, and most probably sleep for at least two hours, after which I wake up every hour or every half hour.  I feel like I never sleep some nights, but then remember some weird dream, and I know I slept. Like you, my brain hates to wake up again, and I have to tell myself again "Okay here we go again: breathe deeply and focus on your breathing"  that often puts me back to sleep, but I repeat this several times every night.

 

Over the last month I've seen an increase in the number of nights where I sleep 5+ hours contiguously. I decided that this would be my benchmark.  When I wake up from one of these nights, I feel rested for about 5 to 10 min. and then feel exhausted again.

 

Over the last month I've seen an increase in the number of nights where I sleep 5+ hours contiguously. When I wake up from one of these nights, I feel rested for about 5 to 10 min. and then feel exhausted again. On the nights where I don't sleep, the derealization which is always present ramps up, if that is at all possible, and I get another one of my "coping days", where the best thing about the day is when it ends.

 

I know that I should be grateful for the sleep that I had, but instead I fear for the night that will come.  I suppose that's part of the traumatic part of this withdrawal, knowing that more suffering is around the corner.

 

[[Co...]]

Hi to everyone, Im also protracted at 21 months off ct. I stopped posting and reading here at a little over 18 months. I was discouraged and feeling really scared...feeling like Ill never recover. I still have lots of harsh physical sx...very severe and constant nerve pain...esp in my feet...still feels like there are razor blades slicing me, rats biting with large sharp teeth, electric saw cutting thru my feet, skin pulling off my feet...its so bad...Ive been crying a lot...and most of my day Im afraid to move at all. I also burn and sting pretty much all over..legs, face, scalp, arms etc. I also continue to have strong vibs from the chest down, balance problems, weak and heavy arms and legs and tinitus. Always have red, glassy eyes too...I still have the false sensation of movement in my mouth...like my teeth are twirling around inside my mouth. Im sorry if I frightened anyone...esp new people...but this is what happened to me and wondering if anyone can relate. Im planning to see a doc and try something for nerve pain...I just can hardly bear it anymore...I even had a dream last night that I saw a doc, and I was crying hard in severe pain and he said nothing would help..thats really scarey because time isnt helping either. Oh Im kindled too, if there is such a thing...this is my fourth time off benzos and I never had a problem before. Thx 4 listening. Love to all. Colleen

 

Im grateful for the thread and a place to be candid.

[[al...]]

Hi,

I would like to share here also. I have 14 months off of Konapin.  I am 52 years old.  I am older too.

Emotionally, I am a wreck.  I have very high anxiety. I become overwhelmed and can't function over minor things. I am paranoid with racing thoughts. I have always had anxiety issues but never like this. I am extremely reactive.  I still have some dp/dr.  I feel like I am vibrating. I work out for a couple of hours a day now so that I can sleep.  I am getting very discouraged about the amount of time it is taking for my brain to heal from this.

I am gratefull for this thread.  I don't want to scare anyone who is in the beginning of w/d  and I try to stay postive, but  I need to share with others who are in the same place that I am.

I am thinking about contacting bat in the UK. (i think that's what it is called.) I want to know if my symptoms are protracted w/d or emotional issues.  I don't know anymore.

I tried taking Kava many years ago.  It made me anxious.  I also have taken Valerian and passionflower.  I might try passionflower again.

I started doing LENS (low energy neurofeedback system) a month ago. Several therapists have told me it is supposed to help with benzo w/d symptoms. We'll see.

take care,

allison

 

[[of...]]

hello,

 

i don´t know if this is protracted withdrawal for sure. But i am 14 month off now and having a lot of windows. But there are sometimes a few days i fell withdrawal is back.

 

I experiance a waekness of the body and a mental weakness too. I still can´t stand too much stress because those days seem to come more often.

 

But most of the time i feel quite ok again.

 

So, maybe it is just the normal speed of withdrawal with me. I don´t know.

 

I just hope to get through this as soon as possible so i can forget about it and live again.

 

 

[[he...]]

I really feared reading this Thread , it fears me knowing that theres quite a few of us Protracted on here, it worries me to think if I am gng to always be like this forever .I was only on Clonozepam for 4 1/2 mths , I was put on them from a reaction (Vaginal burning)from when I stopped taking Nytol I was taking for years .I am 18 1/2 Mths off and feel worst then I was at 1 year off, all the symptoms are the same but to a more heightened degree , nothing ever left for me , so I cant say I am any percentage recovered if anything I am just the opposite of that . I have intense Carpet burning / Stinging that a few days ago it felt like a Machete knife was slicing and dicing me all over my entire body , it was so severe it lasted a few days steady 24-7 , but now turned into raelly intense Carpet burning all over all the same time. I have Insommia really bad , no sleep for days on end , 4 dys straight , then 1 day broken sleep , then back again with no sleep for days on end. I either have really intense R/L/S , or a Flow of a Chemical  surging all over my body. I still have the anxiety mostly when in pain(never had it ever before benzos) , inner vibs , stimulation is really intense , triggered by touching certain areas , scratching , it varies minute by minute as to what trigggers it. I get tingles, prickling, itching , weakness. I get windows but it all comes back all over again , I have all the same symptoms and more since I went C/T .On my Windows the stinging and carpet burning just goes to a lessened intensity but never leaves, but all other symptoms on times left 100% . I get discourged when someone can say they feel 70 -80% recovered as Colleen I dont feel any recovery , sorry Colleen ((((hugs))))) I know hun you dont get any breaks or relief , I know you are suffering worst then me  :'( :'(. And I am so sorry for all my friends (((Hugs))))) :'( :'(Do any of this ever end forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[[va...]]

Dear  Vancouver girl, I read your post over several times, and I absolutely love the way you write , but I didn't get everything.

 

You said that you don't get anxiety, but you get protracted head stuff, and that it is so strong. If it's possible for you to elaborate, I would love it.

Hi Wellness!! You like the way I write?  Thanks..........

 

What you described here in your words iwith the strong mental tired is not a primary for me as far as daily impeding, BUT I have that very strongly right now. The mental exhaustion. I can feel the brain working so hard to try to conceptualize never mind trying to keep me asleep. I so "get" the mental fatigue like you.

 

As far as what you were asking in regards to my physical head stuff and what did I mean by that? This is what is daily impeding for me. Chronic head/eye pressure though milder it's obvious it has to go in order for me to have "lingering symptoms" and be daily comfortable.  It's like air plane cabin pressure in my head constantly. It is combined with a feeling of helium or gas of some kind being pumped in my head so it feels light as well and like I am "under the influence of something. (I have noisy head so the sounds corresponds with the movement.  )My vision is heat wavy as a result of it. Awful. And an electric current in my brain in and around. It's like if your in a field of hydro wires and that humm but the actual "feeling" is in your brain. So with the 3 head pressure, helium head, and electric brain, I'm toast.

 

My brain can't sleep through all of that. But it's trying.

 

TMI? lol.

 

I see your symptoms do the same thing with your sleep. Maybe different symptoms, but same result. I see it in your sleep cycles as well. It's like mine. I'm just reading you said like me your brain hates to wake up. Isn't that weird how we feel THAT so strongly? I mean..............

 

I read here that in your last month,  you're noticing a slight increase to 5 hrs sporadic here and there and feel okay for 5 - 10 min upon waking but then back to exhaustion. I understand. It looks like you have lots of nights where you don't sleep still though and get heavy d/r with a coping day then. What a cycle.

 

Well, like you I am seeing oh so subtle changes, but boy do we have to work for them. xoxo

 

It will be SUCH a relief for all of us to embrace the idea of bedtime knowing there is a good night's sleep covered in quilts, dogs or cats, pillows, or whatever it is we like to bring with us for, what used to be nightly "rejuvenation" period.

 

 

[[va...]]

Hi to everyone, Im also protracted at 21 months off ct. I stopped posting and reading here at a little over 18 months. I was discouraged and feeling really scared...feeling like Ill never recover. I still have lots of harsh physical sx...very severe and constant nerve pain...esp in my feet...still feels like there are razor blades slicing me, rats biting with large sharp teeth, electric saw cutting thru my feet, skin pulling off my feet...its so bad...Ive been crying a lot...and most of my day Im afraid to move at all. I also burn and sting pretty much all over..legs, face, scalp, arms etc. I also continue to have strong vibs from the chest down, balance problems, weak and heavy arms and legs and tinitus. Always have red, glassy eyes too...I still have the false sensation of movement in my mouth...like my teeth are twirling around inside my mouth. Im sorry if I frightened anyone...esp new people...but this is what happened to me and wondering if anyone can relate. Im planning to see a doc and try something for nerve pain...I just can hardly bear it anymore...I even had a dream last night that I saw a doc, and I was crying hard in severe pain and he said nothing would help..thats really scarey because time isnt helping either. Oh Im kindled too, if there is such a thing...this is my fourth time off benzos and I never had a problem before. Thx 4 listening. Love to all. Colleen

 

Im grateful for the thread and a place to be candid.

Good lord Colleen. I'm sorry you're still so in it to such a degree. I was EXACTLY where you are at 21 months out in terms of the severity and yanking and pulling and slicing. My acute pain though now is down period. It's a dull ache. Different symptoms but I get where you are and what you are saying. So, not that this helps BUT I saw this month (25) though I am still chronic and it's still hard, it's much less hard than at 21 months. You will notice this in the next few months that it will come down much more. It's hard to believe when you are still so in it but it will go down more in the next few months. (Sorry..). 

 

I don't like how it backs people against the wall with nothing they can take for relief.

 

I'm glad we have this thread to for being candid.

 

[[va...]]

Hi Ali, I'm glad you're here too and I'm sorry you're having a hard time at 14 months out. I wanted to know what is BAT in the UK? It's very easy discouraged with the longevity of this. It does leave but on it's own time. I read you say: "I want to know if my symptoms are protracted w/d or emotional issues.  I don't know anymore."

 

Well, it's normal for the emotional symptoms to last long as well as they can be the brain still needing more time to reach homeostasis and if your adrenals are still over active at 14 months and you have high cortisol therefore anxiety that is quite normal as well to take longer for some. Person to person is so different. Mine went at 6 months, back for 14, 15 months out but only  sporadic morning cortisol not daily in the later timelines, then gone. I don't know if that's an issue but I wanted to share that. I hope you can get it figured out so it is easier for you to move ahead with resolution in the next phase of healing for you. xox

 

Hi Off of Benzo, you're not technically protracted as that is over 18 months but you're still in withdrawal aren't you? You're getting lot's of windows? Not that it makes this a "finish" or easy on the days you are back in it but I just wanted to say that is a good sign! Some of us don't get them, some of you do. I was a bit resentful reading you did so almost didn't post to you lol. Just kidding. lol It's sounds like you are moving along and you've got a good handle on what is going on so let's fingers crossed you keep going in the direction you are and it's done and you can get back to life and live again as you just said! We all hope that for you. xox

 

Hi help me 123, I know you.....................gosh you. Like Colleen and a few here huh. More than I would like to see that's for sure. Lot's of intense stuff like burning and slicing and no sleep for you and stinging. I just can't figure for the life of me why it does this to some of us. As I said to Colleen  helpme, I was right where you are at your time with no windows. With that strength. It's morphed from THAT aspect in regards to my physical nerve stuff to way way less. Of course not my physical head stuff which is my hard stuff still, but the stinging, slicing, burning, is now just a dull ache here and there are a burning for a shorter time here and here. Not as long and not near as intense and no slicing. I am just sorry it takes so so long you. I really am. But THAT specific aspect, does eventually go down. Gosh....................xoxox

 

 

[[an...]]

This is awsome! I have been lookin around 4 a protracted section,I am 38 months out and still suffer from head symtoms and emotional blunting and all that,so glad I found u. COUNT ME IN!

[[an...]]

Yes,I really do want a protracted forum,as newcomers don,t understand me this far out,and I don,t want to scare them either,also,there's a lot of people who have healed fairly quickly,and where do the protracted members  on here stand?  Tell me how we r gonna do this,so that way us protracted members can a place to post.  Thanks so much! Sincerely angel

[[Ja...]]

28 months with no major changes in the last 6 months...I still get bouts of dizziness, some anxiety, and lately getting those tremors back...very discouraging at times, but at the same time I haven not let these symptoms stop me from at least trying to have a life...

[[Ja...]]

I refuse to think I'm the only person who will take longer than usual to recover, but wouldn't it be nice to find some success stories of people who recovered 3,4,5 years out? I think the benzo liberty site has some of those people, so I'll post links here when I find them. 

 

Ed

[[va...]]

Hey Angel, we're all posting here. It kind of keeps us off the beaten path doesn't it? Hey Jarocho2033 (Ed), I'm 26 mos physical head. A friend emailed me this link for long timers. Some are almost there, some are there. 3 years for healing and that kind stuff. 41 months. It's from Recovery Road. I've got Tim's electric vibration, he's in this link. It was the first time I actually saw someone with a longtime head symptom that sounds like he may be describing what I've got. Weird how it's so long with some of us. Still shocks me. That would be great if you could link some if you find them.

http://recovery-road.org/success-stories-2/

 

Nice to see you two. xo

[[re...]]

Hey all

I havent read all the posts so forgive me if this has been addressed somewhere. I worked with a great benzo wise doctor at the hospital I stayed at. She said that 2 things can make benzo wd last longer 1. the MTHFR mutation that has not been addressed and 2.oxidization stress (cant remember the name of this)

 

I have the MTHFR mutation that has only recently been address with Deplin. I am now taking a bunch of antioxidants in hope to my body cope better. There are blood tests for both problems. I have had the MTHFR test. will get the second one soon.

 

The doc lost her brother in law to klonopin wd (he seized) and seems to be on top of finding things that help wd. It makes sense that wd would last longer if ones CNS has been damaged from lack of B-9 (the mthfr mutation).

 

Hope everyone gets a big break soon!

[[mc...]]

I am really glad that this post/thread was created.  I am 15 months off and just had a hell of a day.  My insomnia ( which is my number one issue - early morning adrenaline alarm) was pretty bad and I just lie in bed too tired to get up but with a chemical bath flowing through me not allowing me to fall back deep)  I don't wish to be posting at 2 years out - but I accept that it takes a lot of time for the cns to heal  - it is immensely comforting to know that I am not the only one suffering this far out - I have seen lots of improvement and its logical that the healing will continue - but I can't really imagine feeling normal all the time because it's been so long now.  I appreciate all of you fellow long timers and I think Ashton put 18 months because most people gave up griping by that point.  I thinks it's really 2 years for lots of people -especially for those of us who have kindled.  Benzo creates an incredible paradox regarding time - due to our hyperawareness of our symptoms 15 months feels like forever but a day goes so fast because we are caught in this painful, hazy cocoon and our days feel like a dream ( albeit not the most pleasant kind ) - however, I have found touch points through my day that keep me moving forward avoiding despair:  playing tennis with my daughter, taking a hot bath, reading a book  - cuddling with my wife and kids swimming in the ocean ( I live in Maui)  so - thanks again for this post  - I do agree I think that a dedicated forum for people over a year off and still suffering would be welcome. 

 

 

aloha!

 

mcDuck

[[va...]]

Hmm.......this is interesting. There are such varying degrees of completely different symptoms and what they affect for people in benzowithdrawal and protracted period.

 

I looked up what you were talking about Recovering. My stuff is a time thing  that couldn't be helped with any of that being it helium head, head pressure, heavy brain and more lol. Good luck recovery and thanks for stopping by. I sure wish you the best and I hope your doctors brother is okay. And you too.

 

One thing is for sure I guess most here have a commonality in the cns being fried regardless of the other.

 

It can be very different for all of us I see in how and what the pill injures.  So many factors involved in how one comes down etc. Well, one day at a time regardless of where we came out in this.

 

I love Maui, I was there on 5 islands for six weeks, lanai, maui, kuai, (blue room) and oahu. Lot's of skuba and swam with wild dolphins  in the bay on lanai below Manele Hotel. I just loved it McDuck. Lucky Duck!!!!!!!!!! You have a great place to heal. When can we all fly over? I hope your sleep cycle comes back. You have a nice way of writing too.

 

[[Co...]]

Hi everybody...this is so interesting...many of you I know well, but there are several of you I dont...I look forward to getting to know the rest of you and supporting you any way I can...I wonder what else we have in common. I think my cns went way wacky just before detox...I had a severe vag bleed that my NP tried to stop with the seasonique bc pill...4 of them a day, when after a month of that a different hormone was used, and finally after that steroids..they believed I had a pituitary tumor but I did not...my thyroid went all wacky too so Im thinking my HPA axis was affected...but I dont really know for sure but after the steroids I got really agitated while I was still on and started hallucinating...really scarey stuff...everyone including me thought I was toxic on my meds but I dont think so...Oh I took k for panic attacks originally. I wanted to say that I do feel as if I have healed a lot because I had so many sx...too many to list and lots have gone...but unfortunately the ones I have left really affect my quality of life in such a negative way. My sleep is good though..has been for about a year...but I cheat, I take benadryl and mg everynight before I go to sleep.

Hi VG, gosh look at you go...moderating the thread for us and sharing all that info..thankyou...I love the way you write too...like we are talking in person sort of. You have always been there 4 me and I think you are so special. xoxoxo

Laura, my sister, Im sorry you were scared reading the thread....stay on the path ok. Im 100 % positive you will heal. Thx 4 writing me but most of all loving me. xoxoxo

 

 

[[Ja...]]

Hey Angel, we're all posting here. It kind of keeps us off the beaten path doesn't it? Hey Jarocho2033 (Ed), I'm 26 mos physical head. A friend emailed me this link for long timers. Some are almost there, some are there. 3 years for healing and that kind stuff. 41 months. It's from Recovery Road. I've got Tim's electric vibration, he's in this link. It was the first time I actually saw someone with a longtime head symptom that sounds like he may be describing what I've got. Weird how it's so long with some of us. Still shocks me. That would be great if you could link some if you find them.

http://recovery-road.org/success-stories-2/

 

Nice to see you two. xo

Great link VG! Thanks for sharing it!

 

Ed

[[Tw...]]

Please add me to the protracted group.  I am 4.5 years out and in a bad setback.  Im looking for others that had a setback after doing good.

[[...]]

11 months off of 6-10 mg xanax per day.

 

Went to treatment, they did a good job. Not too bad.

 

Tinnitus for 90 days, fog, etc.

 

WD's all gone at 90 days, I think.

 

I've gained about 20 pounds, I eat alot more, usually sugar junk since sober.

 

I am very forgetful. Just can't seem to retreive information anymore.

 

Not much anxiety, sleep good, took about 180 days before I could exercise like I used too.

 

I guess I'm lucky. I've read alot of horror stories about long term WD. It's possible to survive with few problems.

 

[[Bi...]]

Hi everybody...this is so interesting...many of you I know well, but there are several of you I dont...I look forward to getting to know the rest of you and supporting you any way I can...I wonder what else we have in common. I think my cns went way wacky just before detox...I had a severe vag bleed that my NP tried to stop with the seasonique bc pill...4 of them a day, when after a month of that a different hormone was used, and finally after that steroids..they believed I had a pituitary tumor but I did not...my thyroid went all wacky too so Im thinking my HPA axis was affected...but I dont really know for sure but after the steroids I got really agitated while I was still on and started hallucinating...really scarey stuff...everyone including me thought I was toxic on my meds but I dont think so...Oh I took k for panic attacks originally. I wanted to say that I do feel as if I have healed a lot because I had so many sx...too many to list and lots have gone...but unfortunately the ones I have left really affect my quality of life in such a negative way. My sleep is good though..has been for about a year...but I cheat, I take benadryl and mg everynight before I go to sleep.

Hi VG, gosh look at you go...moderating the thread for us and sharing all that info..thankyou...I love the way you write too...like we are talking in person sort of. You have always been there 4 me and I think you are so special. xoxoxo

Laura, my sister, Im sorry you were scared reading the thread....stay on the path ok. Im 100 % positive you will heal. Thx 4 writing me but most of all loving me. xoxoxo

 

Colleen,

 

You are doing fairly well IMO. Of course you know yourself better than any of us. But by talking with you on the phone and just hearing your voice gives me hope. I know you have a lot of physical pain. This is from the Kpin use because I find Kpin takes a toll on us physically. You have your mind back and going places. Colleen, it's not cheating to take Benadryl.. I bet you many do. ppl who have never been on Benzos take it to sleep. I know that. You will heal 100%. You have already healed a lot.

I know you were talking to someone else, just seen your post.

 

Billy.

[[we...]]

what the heck, I guess most of you have seen this already

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/recovery_times.htm