Post Benzo Protracted Withdrawal Support Group

[[va...]]

VCG - would you possibly share the name of the doctor who endorsed the book you mentioned? 

H2BFree

Hi Hope, here's the name of the doctor and the group he works with. Therapuetics initiative, not pharma funded. None of his team has "conflict of interest" with big pharma.

http://www.apt.ubc.ca/Popups/Dr_James_Wright.htm

 

He is the second doctor down that commented on here book here in testimonials on this link.

http://www.addictionbyprescription.com/testimonials.html

 

And this is an interesting podcast. Two on his team discuss how gabapentin (nuerontin) was successful only because of the mass marketing used. The find it really isn't affective much of the time. It was the marketing that got doctors using it and now so many are on it. That's why I like this doctor and his group. They're all very respected, but of course Govt of Canada makes tons of$$ on these drugs so they cut their budget. Welcome to the real world.

http://www.ti.ubc.ca/podcast/ti-podcast-letter-75-gabapentin-pain-new-evidence-hidden-data

 

 

[[va...]]

Hi VCG, Ok I will look for your pm. My appt is next Fri, so I can get prepared...also lots of time to get anxious too. Just so hard to get over what happened...I know I need to put it in the past though. Ill try and relax now. It helps so much to know you care. Love, Colleen

We all care here. We love you. I do. That's why we're all here, just trying to make it easier on each other if we can. xoxox

[[St...]]

VCG.........

 

I just wanted to send a quick message to let you know that I have quickly read both of your posts.  I'm very fatigued ATM which means my mind has turned to mush but I promise you that I WILL get back to you okay.

 

I just need to give my mind and body some resting time.  I've done a lot the last few days and it's caught up with me but I'll be okay as long as I take some rest time.

 

I hope to respond to you sometime tomorrow.

 

BTW, did I get your time-frame correct?  You are 2 years and 1 month off the drug?  I scanned your post but for some reason (likely due to fatigue) I'm a bit confused.  So sorry to ask you something you likely clearly stated in your post.

 

Anyway, I will certainly not forget to get back to you.

 

In the meantime, keep the faith VCG.  BTW, I'm so glad that sharing my experiences (along with what I have witnessed in others) is giving you hope.  Honestly, I know I don't know you at all, but you are one exceptional soul in way of how much love, compassion, knowledge and support that you are providing to others, just within this thread alone!  Consequently, it warms my heart to know that I can give something positive to someone who is giving so much to others.

 

I just feel really bad about not being able to think clearly enough this evening to immediately share more with you.

 

Still Alive

[[an...]]

I definetly feel stuck in protracted wd along with others on this thread,I just feel it goes on and on an on,like a merry go round,it,s just tiring,esp the head symtoms and spacy feelin and all that,I am having such a hard time becouse I took lunesta for a year and a half from the time of my early wd,I guess it makes sense to go by when I last took the lunesta to figure out how long I been off benzos for?

[[va...]]

Hi Angel. It doesn't really matter specifically I guess. It was Jan or June right? If that was it is somewhere between 18 and 22 months.

 

Maybe the others will chime in, I think you are sopposed to add the lunesta like the benzo which shortens how long you've been off but others may think differently.

 

I tried to pm you but your mailbox is full. Just go to her name, click on it and go to "send a PM" which is on the left side and click on that. xo

 

If Angel's doctor gave her Lunesta, would that be included as a benzo and change her recovery time? She took the Lunesta right after the benzo c/t and took it for a year and a half about?

[[va...]]

Gosh Still, thankyou for the kind words. .........    It seems there are many angels here in cyberspace in you and the others. There are so many caring people in our community aren't there? Thankgoodness.

 

Yes, I am 26 months and 4 days off. Hard to believe. I don't think I acknowledge my time off in the other posts. Oops...

 

Don't rush posting back, I had projects today that didn't get done being here. My bad.........

I so get it. After using my brain for a day, it's toast. It's hard to believe the brain gets so so tired.

 

I hope you can get some rest too. I'm off. xo

 

 

[[Ho...]]

Thank you VCG for that info - I am going to try to get that book....and he sounds like a good person to know - is he serving as your liaison with your GP?  Perhaps you said he did agree to do that.  If so - so happy for you!  How are things going with your GP now?  Thanks again!

Hoping

[Guest [ru...]]

I'm adding my name to the list here too.  I'm now nearly 20 MONTHS completely off a doc-induced 3/4 cold turkey (it was so severe I nearly died) and am just more than beside myself STILL.  For a majority of all this horrificNESS I endured at home, by myself!!!, without much support (apart from here) or any1 coming to visit.

 

I've now taken myself back to my 75 yr old Mum's in absolute desperation for some help/solutions/support/brain-storming solutions, but she has none, apart from suggesting more prayer. 

 

I'm beyond understanding or being able to hold on any longer........how on earth does every1 else do it????

I'm sorry you're so in the thick of it Ruthie Allison. I remember you from the other site. They had a bad habit of encouraging c/t's to everyone that logged on there even within the timeline to reinstate to taper. This is also what happened to me taking their very bad advice.

 

You know, I am staying now with my senior mother too until I can function daily so I understand where you are there. I used to "help" my family so this change is...........let's just say I am grateful to have any kind of help right now though it's not without it's challenges.

 

We do it one day at a time RuthieAllison. That's how we all do it. Some do less, some more depending on where we are at in it. And realistically, that's all one can do. I wouldn't be surprised if you saw some good changes though come 24 months. We're here for you.

 

 

Thanks for your reply Vancouvergirl.  Just to clarify I didnt CT from bad advice from the other site (BW)...when I had asked Doc to changeover to Diazepam I trusted the doc gave me the correct equivalency dose (from Clonazepam) but found out much later (from a friend & equiv tables) AFTER my taper it was 3/4 the wrong dose - no wonder I just about died & am still suffering so badly now...I didnt actually find too much bad advice from the other site at all really (apart from a few nutjobs)...the msge came thru loud & clear from all my research pre-tapering to go SLOW.  Anyway whats done is done & we're forced to live with the harsh consequences.

 

Yep I too used to be the helper/support for my elderly Mum (& Son) rather than the other way around.  I agree the change is AWFUL.  I agree with you too I'm also very grateful for any support right now as we know we need as much of it as we can get ay?  Just lots of reassurance and wisdom is all we need really and hearing positive changes some1 close to you may have noticed.  The mental/emotional, not being able to recall previous life wisdom etc is the hardest to bear for me now....occassionally I start noticing the "old me" personality wise popping out again.

 

When I wrote that venty post I was right in the middle of a brain meltdown which I have oftentimes during a day.  The cognition just goes haywire.  Regretting I posted it now lol!  Since then I've taken out fish oil from my supplements suspecting that it may have been overstimulating an already oversensitive/stimulated CNS & the very next day my voice was ALMOST back to normal for a couple of hours for the 1st time in 20 months - with stress (that same day) it went back to constantly pulling/distorted again though...but at least that change was ENCOURAGING to know I'm on the right track of what to do!!! The old rules/wisdom to "normal" ppl/circumstances simply do NOT apply anymore, so new wisdom is called for.  When I can hear my gut instincts I normally follow those on what to do, although its good to have some1 to talk it over with too.  For a long time I've gone on the theory of supps helping support the body to heal & normally/generally that is true...so I'm just going to rule out 1 at a time, SLOWLY to see if I experience any more positive changes.  I'll still stick to my Vit C though as that certainly seems to help ALOT cog-wise. And more little naps throughout the day when I have to shut everything out temporarily...

 

I'm sorry that you too are in the same boat...I totally understand how discouraging, frustrating & disheartening that is...yep you are right 1 day at a time is all we can do SIGH..... I just take my hat off to YOU &  EVERY1 else for managing with such hidden challenges & for so long!!!  I will try to keep you all in my prayers for encouraging breakthroughs and changes...

 

Also just to any1 else reading this - I noticed since stopping the Fish Oil that all the little all-over-body random muscle twitches & spasms have STOPPED too.  I also went & got a massage to try & unlock some of the stiff & weak muscles.  That helped too.  Since then I also feel a LITTLE bit more strength muscle-wise.

 

Boy I so know what you mean about the brain getting so quickly and easily fatigued!!!  I am super grateful now for ANY times of it being able to work & think reasonably clearly, but so frustrating & discouraging when it reverts back to super foggy/fatigued again (most of the day still).  I also notice I must be connecting up to my emotions now more too (from totally numb) but boy that is super fatiguing/exhausting too!!!  I suppose we are getting there, its just so subtle and sooooo slow...

 

Yip I hope you are right about the 2 year off mark...4 more months to go...in the meantime I hope you too experience some major positive changes AND SOON!!!  Sorry thats all the brain will allow me to post for now....hope I got my points, sentiments and tips across reasonably clearly...

 

Hugs and Prayers, Ruth

[[Fl...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Well I am 14 months out as I posted before and I am in a bad wave right now. I am dissappointed because I was so sure I would be great for this holiday. I am better than last year this time and I can say I have improved some but it is so little and taking so long. I guess I am just looking for a little reassurance that time will heal and I will get better. Right now I am having so many doubts. I still have many w/s. Muscles still hurt, head still has pressure, sinus, eyes hurt, ear pain, mouth pain ect. I get windows but they are never 100%. Will all of this ever end? I sometimes think this is going to be my life now. Thanks everyone for listening.

 

Rain

[[ma...]]

Sign me up.  I am 31 months off and still have head symptoms, muscle pain and sleep issues.

[[Wh...]]

Welcome Manlad ... we sound very similar in time off and remaining symptoms.  You are #46 on my list of protracted members that have posted on BB and are off over 18 months and still in turmoil over this.  Thank you for dropping a note here.

 

Let's keep the faith. 

[[an...]]

My head feels like it,s gonna explode 2day,I am so sick of feelin lightheaded and dizzy all the time,I don,t know how I put up with this,this long,and when u don,t sleep it gets worst as with the trouble walking,it all goes 2gether in clusters for me,UHG! :(

[[St...]]

Gosh Still, thankyou for the kind words. .........    It seems there are many angels here in cyberspace in you and the others. There are so many caring people in our community aren't there? Thankgoodness.

 

Yes, I am 26 months and 4 days off. Hard to believe. I don't think I acknowledge my time off in the other posts. Oops...

 

Don't rush posting back, I had projects today that didn't get done being here. My bad.........

I so get it. After using my brain for a day, it's toast. It's hard to believe the brain gets so so tired.

 

I hope you can get some rest too. I'm off. xo

 

 

Hi VCG,

 

You're most welcome and yes, there are many great people on this forum although I'm not able to engage nor interact anywhere near as often as I wish I could.

 

Oh okay..........so you are 26 months off.  Just hang on since, at ths stage of the game, things will start to show improvements over the next few months.

 

I'm so sorry I couldn't respond to your question yesterday but I was feeling very mentally and physically overloaded and consequently, had to cease any further discussion.  I"m sorry that your mind went to toast as well.  You are so right re: just how mentally fatigued we can become.  I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

 

BTW, I wish to sincerely thank you for acknowledging my suffering in one of your previous posts.  I realize that you are in the thick of your own suffering yet, you still take the time and energy to acknowledge what I have been through.  I'm so sorry I forgot to thank you and highlight this aspect in my previous post.  I was running low on mental and physical energy at the time.

 

To answer your question re: my current symptoms.

 

Symptoms remaining at 31 months off my last psyche drug:

 

Itchy skin:  I still deal with itching (especially on my back but also on ankles and sometimes on hands) however, this is a far cry better than constant intense whole body itching.  I used to feel as if I had poison ivy degree itching all over my body.  So, while I still incur itching, it is intermittent and only on a few areas.  I do have more intense flare-ups but they don’t last long.

 

Crawly skin:  description same as above.

 

Sleep problems (usually only sleep for 4 hours straight and must take a nap during day).  With that said, my sleep in deeper (more sound) which is an extremely important point to focus on.  I have had some short spells (few days in a row) of sleeping for 6 hours straight and from time to time I have had 7 hours sleep and on two occasions have slept for 8 hours.  These are very good signs that eventually sleep will be restored.

 

Also, I am able to lay in bed for an hour after waking which is a sign that my body is able to relax.  This is so important since, I used to snap awake with extreme anxiety and could not lay in bed.  I still do get a morning cortisol dump but it is mild and consequently, I can lay in bed for about an hour after waking.

 

Depression:  This is a huge issue for me and has been pretty chronic in nature.  I also feel very traumatized and have a hard time being alone but I have no choice but to deal with it since, I live alone.  The aloneness factor compounds the depression and trauma factors.  The last 3 months have been brutal in way of depression (major crying spells and feelings of desperation) especially in the early parts of the day however, if I keep myself mentally distracted it helps.  Humour  and filling my mind with inspirational stuff helps a lot, as long as I keep engaged in such.

 

As soon as I cease such engagement, I plummet into very bad states.  Distracting via household tasks do not help me one bit.  In fact, I feel more alone, more depressed, more frustrated.  Consequently, I spend a lot of time on-line researching anything that fills my mind with positive distraction.

 

Fatigue and lack of stamina.  I’m still dealing with fatigue however, not as often and not as profound.  I will get hit with short spells of it IF I do too much.  Eg. I went out shopping two days I a row (few hours each time) and by the third day I was completely depleted.  I did nothing the 3rd day ………just rested and I feel a bit better today.

 

With all that said, I still have great difficulty keeping up with basics around the house.  Laundry piles up, household cleaning tasks go unattended to etc.  However, with that said, I'm still doing far better than even 6 months ago.  eg. preparing a meal is doable now whereas 6 months ago it felt like an olympic activity that I was unqualified to perform.  (lol)

 

Cognitive Problems:  still deal with this but it fluctuates.  I can become very mentally overloaded easily and grasp for words, have difficulty writing etc.  My mind can feel very disorganized and overwhelmed particularly if I’m trying to learn anything new (even minor mental tasks if I’m entering unfamiliar territory).

 

Still can't read anything lengthy.  My mind becomes racy, disorganzied and overwhelmed.

 

Bone pain and tooth pain:  Still incur this although not as severe and not as often.

 

Chemical sensitivities:  especially to cigarette smoke.  This is still pretty bad.

 

Anxiety:  Still incur this symptom but it is laughable compared to what it used to be.  Also still deal with feelings of fear and agoraphobia however, again, these have significantly lessened in severity.

 

Ruminations, obsessive thoughts:  still deal with this but again, so much less so.  Used to be plagued at insane levels. 

 

Emotional liability:  Still quite emotionally sensitive although not to the tsunamic proportions that it used to be.  Still do feel very bereaved about many things (which anyone would be considering many of the losses that I have incurred) although, I seem to be able to handle the bereavement a bit better although the last several months were very intense.  Things seem to be easy up a bit this past week.

 

IF I wasn't aware of WD induced depression, I'd be running for psychiatric and psychological help since, the degree of depression is very intense (to suicidal proportions many times).  I hope I'm past the worse of that phase.

 

Body temperature fluctuations:  Still incur body warmth/heat as soon as I wake in the mornings and I incur slight body chills each evening (usually later in the evening).  Yesterday I had mild body chills, skin shivers all day.  It was a bad flare-up day for this particular symptom but today, it’s not an issue.

 

Hypoglycemic conditions:  still deal with this although not the extreme attacks that I used to have.  My insulin levels are still off significantly enough, despite eating properly.  It’s like my insulin receptors don’t’ “get” that I just ate.  (lol)  BTW, I’m not diabetic but I sure feel like I am.

 

Derealization and Depersonalization:  still dealing with this however, not to the extreme.  I'm getting many windows where I feel half connected to life and half disconnected which is better than feeling completely disconnected at all times.

 

Other symptoms:  sneezy, stuffed up, IBS, light shock sensation in pit of right palm, occasional brain zaps, light prickly skin sensations in few spots,  sweaty feet and underarms  and a few more symptoms but these all come in cycles and are much milder and shorter lived than in previous stages where they were extreme in nature and unrelenting.  They are very bearable and would not stop me from living life.

 

 

The things that are most troubling are the fatigue (at times), low mental and physical stamina, cognitive impairments, sleep problems and depression.  These are the main symptoms that restrict my ability to engage in life but I have every confidence that these, along with so many other symptoms, will greatly remit over the next 5 to 6 months.  The reason I believe this is because I consider how much progress has been made over the last 6 months and use this to gauge how much more progress will be made over the next 6 months.

 

I know this isn’t very well written but TBH, I have trouble talking about my symptoms since, it traumatizes me due to being through SO MANY past psyche drug WD experiences.  I’m sure I won’t feel as traumatized 6 months from now.

 

All that said, it may seem to others that I still suffer from many symptoms but I was a very extreme case (had about 85 - 90 percent of all possible symptoms one can have and had them to the extreme due to kindling and complete tolerance WD) but, despite not being able to live much of a life still, I'm so much better than what I was.

 

I remember when I couldn't even gently sweep the floor without it making me violently sick.  I couldn't even walk up a few stairs without feeling completely wiped out, with laboured breathing, intense leg muscle pain etc. etc.  I can now easily lightly jog up and down the stairs most days without hardly missing a beat.  This is major improvement!

 

Almost all of my extreme head symptoms are mostly gone.  Only an odd brain zap that remains. and an odd dizzy whooshing sensation that usually hits when I'm in bed.  I used to have extreme dizzines, balance problems and many intense brain zaps, head pressure, helium head etc.

 

I'm certain that I'm leaving out many other details since, there was so much that I suffered from.  BTW, please forgive any repeats within this message.  If I take too much time to try to edit I will land up not posting due to feeling mentally overwhelmed (lol).

 

BTW, I just came out of a bad wave at the 30 month mark where many old symptoms reappeared but they have mostly remitted now.  It did feel extremely discouraging at the time however, I'm doing better now.  I just have to hang in there for a few more months.  By springtime, I should be doing even better.

 

In closing..........I very much feel for what you have been through and continue to endure.  I'm so sorry this has happened to you!  The kindling type of WD is so brutal...........the sensitization of the CNS is in the extreme range.  BTW, not to minimize any other type of WD experience.  They are all torturous journeys and everyone suffers badly, has lost so much of themselves and their lives in the process of trying to recover from these toxic drugs.

 

Recovery will occur one way or another.  We just have to wait out the process and as we all know, it requires an incredible degree of patience.

 

Peace, Healing and Full Recovery to You VCG,

 

Still Alive

 

 

 

[[li...]]

This is just crazy.  I don't know what is happening with me now.  It has been 4years since I c/t, but went back on 2 weeks later and now it's been 2 years 9 months since I finished tapering.  Starting this past June, I developed extreme stomach bloating and stomach tightness.  I've tried everything.  I am still very food sensitive and sugar intolerant.  But I feel so weird inside, like something is changing yet again, and I just don't know what to do.  I fear withdrawal has really damaged my body.  Standing makes my stomach feel like it's falling down, sitting squishes it.  My bp is so low after 2 years of withdrawal making it so high.  My heart rate stays around 58, and only reached 65 when working at my flower shop today, probably why I felt so drained.  I believe it has something to do wtih my vagus nerve being impared which can cause low heart rate.  I've had so many test and had to stop, so I've been putting off GI tests, but I may have to finally conceed, because my stomach is getting worse instead of better. 

 

I'm not surprised to see how many of us are experiencing protracted symptoms, but this started me to think that does anyone know of someone that has healed completely from protracted symptoms?  I have to say, for the first time through all of this, I am beginning to loose my way.  I just can't keep doing this.  I have felt almost healed too many times only to crash beyond belief.  I am so sugar intolerant still, and now I can harldy tolerate any foods.  My chest still gets heavy at times, althought not 24/7 annymore, since 1 month after withdrawal started 4 years ago, enough already.  So many symptoms have gone, but I didn't know enough about withdrawal to know that my GI was affected early on.  It was only about 2 years later that I saw the relationshiop with food and flaring mental sympoms.  When I was stronger int he beginning, I could have started to eat better and maybe I could have gotten a handle of the food thing before it reach this level defcon 5, lol.

 

I fear how much more my body can handle.  This so can't be good.  I wait every day for my happy ending, why won't it come!

 

[[...]]

^I know how you feel. I'm always wondering if/when my body will break down. But I like to think I'll make it through this.

[[cu...]]

hey lis, have you had a food allergy test? sorry if this is off topic.

 

ari

[[li...]]

I went to an allergists, I was looking for an immunologist, but ended up with him.  He wanted to do tests, but I just couldn't afford them, and probably didn't want to go through all that already knowing what I can't eat, and the fact that there would be nothing they could do for that anyway.  Is there something they could do that I don't know about?  I thought the only thing is to stay away from the foods they find you are allergic too, and I already have to do that.  I did recently find that I am now gluten intolerant, but now I live gluten free as well as sugar free, so there's not much more I can eliminate from the food list, lol.

 

I am just praying that my stomach heals like my other symptoms did.  I don't know why I bloat now, when i didn't for the past several years.  That makes me think things are getting worse instead of better, so I have no idea what to do now.  Thank you for your concern!

[[St...]]

I went to an allergists, I was looking for an immunologist, but ended up with him.  He wanted to do tests, but I just couldn't afford them, and probably didn't want to go through all that already knowing what I can't eat, and the fact that there would be nothing they could do for that anyway.  Is there something they could do that I don't know about?  I thought the only thing is to stay away from the foods they find you are allergic too, and I already have to do that.  I did recently find that I am now gluten intolerant, but now I live gluten free as well as sugar free, so there's not much more I can eliminate from the food list, lol.

 

I am just praying that my stomach heals like my other symptoms did.  I don't know why I bloat now, when i didn't for the past several years.  That makes me think things are getting worse instead of better, so I have no idea what to do now.  Thank you for your concern!

 

Have you been ingesting any stomach medications?  Many of those drugs will mess up your digestive system in a big way, and especially when you stop taking them.

 

Just to reassure you.  I've been through many psyche drug WD experiences and had violent digestive problems for years due to C/T, cold switches from one psyche med to another along wtih protracted WD, along with ingesting just about every gastrointestinal drug available etc. and TBH I never thought my digestive system would ever return to normal since, it's been through unbelievable  hell and back so many times.

 

Good news is....................FINALLY, FINALLY  my stomach IS FINE!!  It's a miracle just how many assaults one's system can endure and yet, recover.  Honestly, I could cry with happiness since, I never thought I'd see this day.

 

I also had many food sensitivies and the digestive problems themselves will morph.........change, so too can food sensitivies.  You can be sensitive to certain foods this month and a few months from now will be able to tolerate and then back to not being able to tolerate and/or develop different sensitivities.  It's a real roller coaster but, eventually, IF you remain drug free (from all drugs not just psyche drugs) your digestive functions as well as your whole CNS WILL RETURN to normal functioning.

 

We just have to allow our receptors to learn their way back to homeostatis without interrupting or interfering with their task of reestablishing normal functioning.  All these gastro drugs that are prescribed do interfere with digestive receptors.  there are more serotonin receptor sites in the digestive track than in the brain and so, this is why we can incur such massive digestive dsyregulation.

 

Also the immune system, endocrine systems are also dysregulated.  The immune, CNS, and endocrine systems all communicate with each other and so, when one system is off, so too are the others.  It can take a long time for all systems to learn to effectively and efficiently communicate with each other but they do eventually learn to do so.

 

I'm so sorry for the distress you are suffering but please don't give up hope.  I, as well as so many people have encountered the same problems that you are encountering and we have all made it through to the other side of the multiple digestive distresses.  I can now eat just about anything I wish without incurring any problems.  This was not the case during my 2 year taper and for a bit more than 2 years post taper. 

 

Just hang in there................I promise you, things will improve as long as you refrain from ingesting any psyche or gastro drugs.

 

Continued Healing and Full Recovery to You!

 

Still Alive

[[li...]]

Thank you so much for your wonderful replayas well as all the insight from everyone else.  Still Alive, you brought tears to my eyes.  You desciption of your GI issues so seemd like what i am going through.  May I ask what you mean by gastro drugs.  I don't take any zantac or tums anymore.  But the one doctor said I needed enzymes, and I think they make things worse, so I'm not going to take them anymore even though they said I only have about 20% of my ezymes work.  Also, I take oxy-cleanse to try to help my chonic constipation, should I stop that too?  I occasionally take quercitin, which is a natural anti-histamin, when food makes me dizzy and gives me sinus pressure.  What about probiotics, good idea or bad, and I take occasionally liquid vitamins, since I feel malnurished.  I was diagnosed with Candida, so I should take anitfunglas, but they are too strong for me, and mostly I stay on the Candida diet, that's why I use the probtiotics for the fungus. 

 

A lot of times, I get this sense that I should just not take anything, watch what I eat, and let the chips fall where they may.  I was sooo happy to read that your GI sysmptoms are gone for the most part.  I always believed that when I healed in that area that my food sensitivities would end or change for the better.  Were you sugar intolerant to the degree I am and did that get better.  I would be so happy if the other food issues went away even if I could never eat sugar again.

 

Thank you so much, I try to be stronger for others, but you helped me regroup.

[[...]]

I'm right there with you guys.  I am almost 26 months off a rapid taper and still having problems.  The past few weeks had been quite good and last week I felt about 99% normal - better than I have felt since before I started taking benzos.  But alas, I have endured yet another wave this week.

 

My main issue right now is severe fatigue.  I also have heart palpitations, itching, and a twitch in my left foot that has NEVER gone away (the only symptom that doesn't stop even in a window).  I also still have major sensitivities to chemicals, have developed food allergies during withdrawal that are still bothering me, and am still pretty intolerant to intense exercise. 

 

I feel really frustrated because I often feel like I am not progressing as I should be.  I always hear people say how they feel better and better with every month that passes, but this is definitely not the case for me.  I have had a few months where I feel like things are improving, where I may even have a symptom go away completely, but then it always seems to return with a vingeance.  I suppose I can say that my waves are a *little* less intense than they were a year ago, but not dramatically so.  My windows are definitely better, though, and in those periods I am feeling pretty close to normal again. 

[[...]]

what the heck, I guess most of you have seen this already

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/recovery_times.htm

 

The issue with this data is that it is from respondents who finished slow tapers.  Many of us in this protracted state either cold turkeyed or did a very rapid withdrawal. 

 

[[St...]]

Still Alive

Okay Still. I needed to read this TODAY. You have know idea what this means to me.

 

Believe me, I do understand just how much it can mean to hear of others who have recovered from such symptoms.  I would never have made it through my journey without reading about others who walked before me and had completely recovered.  I'm just happy to pass along the reassurances to you.  I know how frightening this can be and just how darn hard it is to keep the faith.  You're going to be okay in the end.  I know it doesn't feel that way ATM but all symptoms will lose the grip they now have on you.

 

When I see people that have experience the SAME type of symptoms and say it does go down it is truly truly a huge blessing. Matthew will like this too as he as many of my and apparently your symptoms.

 

Yes, I completely understand.  I hope Matthew reads my message so he can feel reassured.

 

Especially when they are "had" and "experienced" at such-great-length. And especially knowing that they eventually leave. Gosh, so you had these with your xanax cold turkey and then with your AD withdrawal. I had no idea that AD's did this, I thought AD w/d came through more in emotional signs even though the base is physiological in that the brain has lost it's natural balance and function from the chemical.

 

Yes, to your first tow sentences.  I too, had no idea that AD were as bad as benzos until I went through the nightmare.  AD affect so many neurotransmitter systems and they are just as addictive as benzos.  There are support groups filled with people who are incurring the same WD symptoms as benzos ................going through unbelievable hell/torture trying to taper off these drugs.

 

Well, I believe you. And there are many that suffered at the 2 year mark? Because I am. It's still chronic strong. Wow. You have my timeline off right. So you see them struggle with the same symptoms like I have and then heal. Okay. And you said, "I have longer windows now (which aren't symptom free but hey, they feel like a blessing compared to where I was) and I did incur a recent bad wave where many old symptoms reappeared but they have now remittted and I'm left with my regular on-going symptoms which can vary hour to hour and can cycle between one symptom and another."

 

Yes, again, to your first two sentences.  Yes, so many still suffer strongly at the two year mark.  I myself, was suffering badly at the two year mark with this last AD WD experience but, I'm doing better now at 31 months.  I can do things now that I couldn't 6 months ago.  Although my life is still compromised it's not AS COMPROMISED.

 

Okay, and Still, you express yourself perfectly. Perfectly. You have no idea. I appreciate you being so specific as that helps me a lot. Just me type of personality you know? So you're noticing changes where you are at 31 months. Alright then. Who'd have thought it would take so long still. Who'd have thought>

 

Okay, I'm glad my message came forth clearly enough (lol).  Sometimes I have trouble expressing myself in writen form.  I have the same personality type so no need to worry.  I very much understand how important it is to hear stories from those who have recovered and/or are showing good signs of recovery.

 

Yes, it's shocking just how long recovery can take for some of us.  Had any of us known, none of us would have ingested these toxic drugs to begin with but we were not afforded the right to "informed consent" not to mention, the pharma companies have hid data for many years.

 

Thankyou so much. I'm really glad all you guys are here. It's nice to have a lil thread here where we can be honest and get reasurrance. It's very much appreciated, everyone sharing on this thread. I hope yours just keeps gettting lighter and lighter since you far out Still. You  deserve it buddy. We all do huh? 

 

Thank you so very much VCG!  I sincerely appreciate your understanding for my suffering as well as the well wishes for recovery.  I very much wish you and everyone the same.  We WILL COMPLETELY RECOVER.!

 

Albie, thank you so much for starting this thread!  I believe it's helping all of us in way of feeling less isolated within our protracted WD experience.

 

Still Alive

[[Ma...]]

 

Yes, I completely understand.  I hope Matthew reads my message so he can feel reassured.

 

 

I read.  And I needed to read it... It helps with the difficulties I'm enduring at the moment.

 

Thanks.

[[...]]

By the way, the improvements I have seen this year are:

 

- Better sleep.  I thought my sleep had returned to normal, but this year I have had many more nights of continuous uninterrupted sleep.  I generally sleep 8 - 9 hours per night and rarely ever wake up.

 

- My ability to read has finally returned.  I have been reading books like crazy after not being able to read at all for almost 2 years.

 

- I have less dizziness, fog, and other head symptoms.

 

- My vision has improved - no more floaters (or rarely ever).

 

- A bit less sensitive to substances.  I have been able to handle OTC cold meds, for example, which would have set me off last year. 

 

[[St...]]

Thank you so much for your wonderful replayas well as all the insight from everyone else.  Still Alive, you brought tears to my eyes.  You desciption of your GI issues so seemd like what i am going through.  May I ask what you mean by gastro drugs.  I don't take any zantac or tums anymore. 

 

Hi Iislis.......

 

I'm so glad my post brought a degree of reassurance to you.

 

Gastro drugs include TUMS, zantac, PPIs (Proton Pump Inhibitors), Gastro motility drugs etc.  All of these drugs affect receptors in the digestive track and eventually one will develop negative rebound effects when the drugs are stopped abruptly.  Actually one should TAPER off these drugs.  There are support groups for people who are going through PPI WD effects.

 

 

But the one doctor said I needed enzymes, and I think they make things worse, so I'm not going to take them anymore even though they said I only have about 20% of my ezymes work.  Also, I take oxy-cleanse to try to help my chonic constipation, should I stop that too? 

 

A lot of people cannot tolerate these seemingly benign substances, when in psyche drug WD.  Our digestive system can be supersentivie to everything.  So, digestive enzymes can make you worse and not better.  It all depends upon one's sensitivities.

 

I'm not certain as to the ingredients in oxy-cleanse so I can't comment other than, IF you feel it's not helping you or making you worse than you should stop taking it.  One important point worth mentioning is that many OTC (over the counter) remedies for constipation can create a digestive dependency and consequently, when you stop these remedies you will experience rebound constipation.

 

The best way to treat this problem is via diet.  You can google natural foods to combat constipation and they do work.  For example, eating prunes or raisins will cure constipation pretty quickly.  Also, natural psyllium husks.  Google the subject and you will discover multiple methods for dealing with this problem.

 

I occasionally take quercitin, which is a natural anti-histamin, when food makes me dizzy and gives me sinus pressure.  What about probiotics, good idea or bad, and I take occasionally liquid vitamins, since I feel malnurished.  I was diagnosed with Candida, so I should take anitfunglas, but they are too strong for me, and mostly I stay on the Candida diet, that's why I use the probtiotics for the fungus. 

 

Some people can handle probiotics and yet, other people cannot.  I would stay away from prescription antifungals as much as possible since, they are not benign substances and can cause many problems.  Quercitin should be okay if you're not taking too much of it.  BTW, some people react very badly to vitamins as well.  Some people can tolerate them while others cannot.  It all depends upon how sensitive one's CNS is.

 

I, for example, could not tolerate a multi-vitamin nor any of the B-vitamins since, they shot my CNS into panic attacks and/or heightened anxiety states.  I'm not unique by any means. MANY people experience the same reactions that I did.  Even magnesium (which is suppose to be calming) can cause increased anxiety for many in WD.

 

BTW, I had very bad sinus, sneezing, stuffed up and sinus allergies (feeling as if I had a bad cold) but those symptoms have mostly gone away now.  I do have an occasional day when they flare up but it quickly remits and is no way chronic as it used to be.  So, your sinus problems will eventually remit as you further recover.

 

The anticandida diet is the best route to go and if the probiotics agree with you then I would continue with that route in order to avoid prescription anitfungals.  The dose of probiotics is important.  Too much can cause problems and soo can too little.  I'm sure you've found the right amount to ingest and if not, you may have to experiment a bit to find the right balance.

 

A lot of times, I get this sense that I should just not take anything, watch what I eat, and let the chips fall where they may. 

 

In my honest opinion, I do believe this is the best route to take.  Although, as per your issue with candida, you may have to continue with probiotics and then slowly taper from ingesting such.  I believe that one should not abruptly stop any type of remedy, even if natural.  It's always wise to taper from all things and it is also wise to gradually introduce vitamins etc.  Start of with tiny doses and see how your system responds since, regular doses can be too much for a very sensitive CNS to tolerate. 

 

I was sooo happy to read that your GI sysmptoms are gone for the most part. 

 

Thank you so much.  It's been a very long and diffcult road but I now have a stomach that functions like a normal stomach should.

 

I always believed that when I healed in that area that my food sensitivities would end or change for the better. 

 

What you're going through is TEMPORARY.  It is NOT permanent.

 

Were you sugar intolerant to the degree I am and did that get better.  I would be so happy if the other food issues went away even if I could never eat sugar again.

 

Yes, I was very sensitive to sugar.  There are many people who cannot tolerate sugar, gluten, carbs etc.  Heck, I couldn't tolerate just about anything for the longest time and as I mentioned, my sensitivities kept changing as well. 

 

You will eventually be able to eat sugar again as well as so many other things.  I know it's hell for you right now.  Believe me I so sympathsize but his hell is will not last forever.  BTW, you will experience progress but then you may fall back again.  I only mention this so you will not be surprise attacked.  It's important to understand this so one doesn't freak out when progress seems to go south again.  It's all part of the non-linear nature of recovery.

 

Thank you so much, I try to be stronger for others, but you helped me regroup.

 

None of us can be strong at all times.  We all encounter fear, confusion, despair, hopelessness etc.  I'm so glad that I was able to help you regroup.  This is what each of us regularly goes through.  On an emotional level we will regroup, we will have meltdowns of despair, regroup again and carry on and will navigate back and forth between though states and everyting in between (lol).

 

It takes so much strength to endure this journey but each person within this thread is incredibly brave, strong and resilient to have made it this far.  The worst will soon be behind and soon each person will begin to reap the rewards of their diligent efforts to remain drug-free.

 

Peace, Continued Healing and Full Recovery to You and to Everyone!

 

 

Still Alive