List of Symptoms Healed Over 5+ Month Period: Then and Now

[[Sw...]]

 

I took this from my History on my profile which I haven’t updated since November. I am going to comment on these symptoms and hopefully this will be helpful for others. 
 

Current Symptoms:
*last updated 11/2/23

**New Update 5/6/2024

-Tinnitus (high pitch right ear mainly)

*my tinnitus is persistent, has multiple tones, mostly in right ear but unusually both ears can be loud. It is an electrical static, a high pitch squeaking wheel sound, and pure tone e sound. Cannot be masked 100%. 

-Anxiety/Fear when I am alone or doing nothing 

*this is completely gone. I hardly ever have daily anxiety anymore. When I am alone I can now stay busy with house cleaning, meal planning, taking walks, making a real effort to focus my mind on staying busy when I am really bothered by my tinnitus. 
 

what is different is that I get new emotions/sensations that will make me completely “freeze” and when this happens I usually am unable to communicate verbally, cry, have to drive home or drive around, and is heavily tied to old memories cropping up and overwhelming my system. 

-Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep 

*I used to be unable to fall asleep and had spells where it would take hours. I would say 70% of the time I can fall right to sleep. I have trouble staying asleep still. 

-Crying spells/ Sadness 

*I no longer have crying spells or general sadness. I might have moments of overwhelm or very normal sadness but nothing that isn’t what I’d say part of normal emotions. The crying spells before were regular and intense. 

-Stiff and achey muscles

*the only stiff and achey muscles I have now are in my traps, neck, and sometimes jaw. I grind my teeth and just severely need to work on exercise and see a chiropractor. Again this is pretty normal non benzo related stiffness. Before it was full body. 

-Headaches 

*no headaches at all unless tension headaches related to tight neck and shoulder muscles. 

-Muscle weakness/ fatigue 

*Muscularly I can do normal things like pick up the house, pick up the yard, play with my 7 year old. I do not feel like I am unusually weak. 

-Feeling like it’s hard to breathe

*breathing has returned to normal 

All symptoms I have experienced:

• Rushes of morning cortisol -> recently switched to fatigue 

gone

• Rage inside of me -> lessened

gone

• Intrusive thoughts/ suicidal thoughts -> lessened

no more SI

• Agitation

gone

• Cognitive/ memory issues

75% healed 

• Can't find nouns/adjectives I need to say for obvious things, like "roof" or "structure" 

75% healed 

• Nausea -> lessened 

85% gone 

• Abnormal appetite -> more hungry lately

normal appetite 

• GI issues (magnesium has helped with constipation)

no stomach issues 

• Tinnitus -> intrusive high pitch noise comes in cycles  otherwise background noise mostly

ever present 

• Crying Spells-> lessened 

gone 

• Depression -> SI

gone 

• Fatigue/weakness/unmotivated -> lessened 

gone 

• Somatic Anxiety

gone 

• Irritability 

gone 

• Everything is worse during "that time of month"

im pregnant so can’t say 

• Headaches

only tension headaches 

• Feeling hotter than I actually am/ Low Grade Fevers

gone - I did have bad cavities and tooth decay that I’ve taken care of that I believe helped as I do think I had a low grade infection 

• Sweating

gone 

• Tired early in evenings and needing more sleep in mornings

gone 

• Facial nerve pain 10/15

cometely gone 

• RAGE ->10/18 maybe 

gone 

• Paranoia

gone 

• Shallow breathing in my chest 

gone

• Hot hot hot in the face 

gone 

• Now I am feeling like I can’t sleep at night when before I was really tired at night

sleep is 85% normal person sleep 

 

I hope this helps someone today who is struggling. Also I had Anhedonia that I just called depression. That’s gone. 
 

What remains is tinnitus, and honestly I think that’s my real issue now. The tinnitus is causing me a lot of stress and I think I’d claim 100% healed were that better. My current windows and waves are like this:

Window: I am happy, I am productive, I get a lot done in my household, I love and care for my daughter, husband, and self. I laugh, I get excited, I enjoy life. All while managing tinnitus. 

Wave: I am tired, I am dizzy, I am unmotivated, my tinnitus is louder, I am worried I won’t get better, I am worried I’ll get really depressed again, I am worried I will fail my family, I spend too much time online researching how to feel better, I feel a lot of stress, I lose my joy in a sense. It’s a terrible place to be in the wave. 

 

 

[[jo...]]

It sounds like you've made great progress, congratulations! Can I just ask what SI stands for. I keep seeing it but am not sure what it means. Well Done!

[[jo...]]

also, did your recent wave pass???

[[PE...]]

Looks good. Keep healing buddy 

[[Sw...]]

@[jo...] still in wave but thinking of what can be!

it stands for suicidal ideation 

 

[[jo...]]

Thanks, I hope you feel better soon. I know you will.

Edited May 6 by [jo...]
typo

[[Ja...]]

Congrats! on totally getting of this crap and moving on with your life,.I have a family/kids to look after to,That’s the motivation right there,that’s what’s troubling me the most going through this while trying to hide it,.it’s definitely a help seeing most of  the WD symptoms ticked of,.the tinnitus is a total pain,.I still have it from anti d withdrawal last year,.it’s constant and it is stressfull to carry around 24/7,..The day some1 invents somet to treat tinnitus there be a very rich it seems to be very common,.The recent wave you’ve had,.your hormones may be out of whack and creating likewise symptoms

[[Ma...]]

Did you ever have severe fatigue?

Sooper happy for you!!! 🤗

[[Al...]]

Well done, very impressive healing.  One question, however.  Does your tinnitus affect your cognition and memory?   Is it possible to be "mindful" while tinnitus is present bc youre always aware and evaluating the T?

[[Sw...]]

Hi @[Ma...] yes SEVERE fatigue that is better now. I still have days where I am very tired but nothing at all like the exhaustion I was feeling. If anything I just feel like my immune system is super weak which makes me drag

[[Sw...]]

Hi @[Al...] that’s a really good question. I’d say my tinnitus is an average 5/7 with its worst being a 7/7. On better days it’s easier to ignore but unfortunately I always seem to hear some tone and it’s not completely maskable. 
I’ve had tinnitus before this “spike” of tinnitus and I learned how to ignore it to the point of having no problem focusing, reading, getting on with life.

tell me a little bit about what you’re dealing with and I can give input.

[[Ar...]]

26 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Hi @[Ma...] yes SEVERE fatigue that is better now. I still have days where I am very tired but nothing at all like the exhaustion I was feeling. If anything I just feel like my immune system is super weak which makes me drag

☀️ Huge congrats on your achievement 

Good to hear that your fatigue is better.

Hubby who is about 10 weeks out literally just fell asleep while eating dinner. 

He's also fighting a cold though, which apparently I brought home 🙁

All the best to you, may your remaining symptoms clear up quickly.

[[Sw...]]

@[Ar...] thank you! Good job being a supportive wife. This is a hard road to travel but is so much better with support 

[[Al...]]

5 hours ago, [[S...] said:

I’ve had tinnitus before this “spike” of tinnitus and I learned how to ignore it to the point of having no problem focusing, reading, getting on with life.

tell me a little bit about what you’re dealing with and I can give input.

Im almost 7 months off Tem and X - I tapered by switching to 15 mg V.

My T varies from a baseline of 4/7 to 9/7 and it started when (I believe) I reached habituation tolerance 2 years ago.  At that time I was pretty sharp and mindful in all things.  Vocabulary, short term and long term memory, sense of time ....  etc. As I tapered, I found my cognition to become clouded and I wasn't as sharp.  Im now more forgetful, poor sense of time etc.  Sometimes I worry that Ive been "damaged" or that I'm developing some kind of dementia.  I will say that I take a low dose of gabap. every night (500 mg)   I think Im either in a long wave atm but my T is low and Im feeling more hopeful but my cognitive sxs are not cleared.  Hope Ie explained that well.

Thanks for your input.  Im so thankful folks here are very kind and patient.