The Long Hold Support Group

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Hi Stut,

 

Wonderful to see you're finally off of Benzos. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

 

You were always there when one of us needed you. Thank you so much for that!

 

I wish you a speedy healing and a wonderful "life after Benzos ".

 

Stay safe!

 

Trochsetter

[[Ca...]]

Lottie and Marie , you are such amazing women thank you for you words everyday. I hope I will be as strong as you and all the people achieving to be benzo free.

 

Not that I want to live with benzo but just because my mind is too tired already. I am feeling the depression and I never felt depression ever in my life even during very difficult moments. That’s why I’m doubting so much. Instead of feeling proud to have reduce 1/3 of my dose I’m feeling overwhelmed by the rest of the journey and just very depressed. I now know depression isn’t a very cool feeling.

 

In about half an hour Im having a coaching session with Jennifer Leigh. Don’t know if it will be helpful but I keep trying things . I will keep you posted if you want to.

 

Sturt and Trochsetter I don’t know you but it is so encouraging seeing you doing well off benzo!

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Carla,

 

Glad to see you're doing a bit better, even though you may not be feeling like that yourself. There's a big difference in your mindset from what I can read in your posts! Last week you were desperate because you felt really bad. Now you're giving advise and compassion to others her on BB. Way to go, girl!

 

One third done: that's a great achievement. You should be soooo proud of yourself. Believe me, all of us on here know what that's like.

 

I'm not off of benzo myself; still have 1,1 mg Diazepam to go. But feeling so much better than last year. Still many physical issues,  but mentally my old self again. No anxiety, exhaustion or nausea. Thank the Lord!

 

Just take it slowly.  One day at a time. You'll get there! Victory is ours!

 

Trochsetter

 

[[Tr...]]

 

Hi Finalhealing,

 

So glad you're doing okay!

 

It'll only get better the longer you're off the poison.

 

Enjoy your regained freedom!

 

Take care!

 

Trochsetter

[[Fi...]]

 

Hi Finalhealing,

 

So glad you're doing okay!

 

It'll only get better the longer you're off the poison.

 

Enjoy your regained freedom!

 

Take care!

 

Trochsetter

 

Thank you Troch!  You are getting so low and will soon be free yourself.  It's a journey of heroes to get off benzos and it can be done.

[[bu...]]

Hello, I've been on Klonopin for 31 years and started water tapering over a month ago. I was in tolerance when I started my taper but actually started feeling better at first. Now, though, I'm doing worse and wondering if there is any benefit to holding while in tolerance?

 

Hi- It would be helpful if you would create a signature so we know a little more about your wean process.  And your water taper is it with alcohol too? What % are you reducing?  Holds seem to work for most people and the tolerance seems to be up for debate too. So am guess I would suggest holding and see how you do.  It usually takes a little while to see improvements, so hang in there with it, if you do decide to hold.

 

Marie.

 

Tolerance is up for debate? Is there anyone on here who has been on benzos for at least 10 years and who became tolerant before tapering who is now holding? Not talking about tolerance that occurs while tapering. That's kind of to be expected as the dose gets low.

[[Sh...]]

Holy uteruses Batman Aunty Flo is in a bad mood this month. Oh Lordy 

 

Shayna - you crack me up and put a smile on my face!!

:laugh:

 

Flo will have been difficult as you were tapering, is my guess!

 

Winnie

 

Naw good Winnie x I’m glad it gave a a giggle x

 

Winnie I didn’t recognize u! U look so different (ur avatar) 

 

I changed it after 2 of my posts ended up on that cesspool of madness site.

Didn't want that turkey to recognize me, seems like he was glued to me.

So no more nice picture of our gorgeous dog.

 

Glad Flo was behaving, I'm terrified of mine in a few weeks. 

 

Yeah Im not even going to look. I cant believe someone is out there doing that. creepy

[[bu...]]

Hi not sure what is going on. I'm perimenopausal and my period is very late. Could this be why I'm in such a big wave right now (anxiety/depression)? Started water tapering Klonopin over a month ago, have been on it for 31 years. I'll get around to creating a sig line later. Thank you.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I know I will have a look in the depressions posts but as I like the people around here I wanted to ask you if heavy chemical depression is a symptom you ever experienced and how were you dealing with it... and was it going away  :'( I’ve got so many dark thoughts and no energy at all .

 

Yesterday before bed I was back to normal and excited about achieving some things the next day , but it is just evening windows like a lot of people...

 

Butterfly,  could you tell more about your failed taper ? Did you went too fast and had to  reinstate ? Hope you are ok to share...

 

Xx

[[Fi...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I know I will have a look in the depressions posts but as I like the people around here I wanted to ask you if heavy chemical depression is a symptom you ever experienced and how were you dealing with it... and was it going away  :'( I’ve got so many dark thoughts and no energy at all .

 

Yesterday before bed I was back to normal and excited about achieving some things the next day , but it is just evening windows like a lot of people...

 

Butterfly,  could you tell more about your failed taper ? Did you went too fast and had to  reinstate ? Hope you are ok to share...

 

Xx

 

Hi Carla,

 

I'm not here often at all but your question caught my eye.  I had crushing depression on Clonazepam/Klonipin when I was on the higher doses.  It was a side effect of the medication.  As I got lower on the dose I started to feel better and as I got to the end of my taper, it was mostly gone.  Now after being off almost 2 months, I am not depressed at all.

 

It will get better. 

 

FH

[[ho...]]

Carla - Always glad to be hear for you.  Looking back, I suppose I had some depression, I was just so sick “benzo flu” and feeling like “ how am I going to get through this”.....I was just trying so hard to stay positive, even in the darkest times.  It is better now.  After my hold and now doing the DLMT the struggle isn’t as hard.  However, i still haven’t perfected this as of now, I am having some SX, from the last .5 mg drop...so I am going to have to go even slower.  I just have to “accept” where I am at, and know that I will eventually get off of this poison.  I am so happy you are having a session and that is definitely a step in the right direction.

 

It’s nice to hear from the other BB’s.

 

The “tolerance” comment I made, was from a post/link from someone else that is quite long and went into detail about this and the controversy around it.  I am not an expert, and I don’t know for sure and that is why I said what I did.  I thought I was in “tolerance” myself, and when I finally did a hold, I found out it was not tolerance for “me”, it was my body exhausted from cutting too fast.  After my hold, I felt so much better and was able to continue with my wean. 

 

Marie 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Carlacarla,

I have heavy bad depression too as a symptom since the last 2 weeks. I have it about every other day. It is very difficult to cope with.

I don’t know if it’s an effect from the Ativan or the result of the taper. I would like to know, because if it’s the taper, I could hold to help stabilize.

 

[[Ha...]]

Hi all,

 

I hope it's okay for me to join this support group as I could really use some support.  I had held for over three months at .251 after experiencing a very, very bad wave at .251. But after struggling for months with failing memory and severe brain fog, I spoke with my psychiatrist and took his recommendation to updose back to .5 mg (I had tapered down to .25 mg) of lorazepam.  .5 was the last dose I felt stable on, and I've just gotten worse and worse since tapering under that dose.  I had a lot of trepidation about doing it, but I also felt kind of desperate, and the doctor thought that based on the timing of my memory and cognitive issues (they started exactly when I tapered below .5), they would likely resolve if I went back to the last dose where they weren't an issue. 

 

I've been at the updose (.5 mg) for almost two weeks now, and my symptoms haven't gotten better (yet).  I am still hoping I will improve here, as from everything I have read it usually takes somewhere between 2 weeks and 2 months for people to get stable after an updose.  The symptoms I have at this point are really insomnia, (which isn't as bad as it was, but still not good), anxiety, brain fog, and the memory and cognition issues.

 

I'm trying to stay hopeful, but this has been really tough and scary.  I should probably mention that I have had to work full time through all of this.  I appreciate any words of encouragement or support.

 

Haimona

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I know I will have a look in the depressions posts but as I like the people around here I wanted to ask you if heavy chemical depression is a symptom you ever experienced and how were you dealing with it... and was it going away  :'( I’ve got so many dark thoughts and no energy at all .

 

Yesterday before bed I was back to normal and excited about achieving some things the next day , but it is just evening windows like a lot of people...

 

Butterfly,  could you tell more about your failed taper ? Did you went too fast and had to  reinstate ? Hope you are ok to share...

 

Xx

 

Hi Carla,

 

I'm not here often at all but your question caught my eye.  I had crushing depression on Clonazepam/Klonipin when I was on the higher doses.  It was a side effect of the medication.  As I got lower on the dose I started to feel better and as I got to the end of my taper, it was mostly gone.  Now after being off almost 2 months, I am not depressed at all.

 

It will get better. 

 

FH

Hi Carla,

Like Final I'm not here often either although I used to be until life got very busy for me. So to your question about depression I like Final had crushing depression when I was on a high dose of xanax and had no idea it was actually causing that deep depression. As I got lower in dose the depression went away. I think so benzos probably cause depression. Funny thing about these anti anxiety drugs is they often cause the things, anxiety and depression, that they're suppose to help with and with intensity once you become tolerant as I was and am still am tolerant.

Good luck,

Trishy♥️

[[Ca...]]

Hey all ,

 

Thank you for your answers.

 

I never been on depression taking benzo...it is a new symtom I have on and off since a couple of weeks , but yesterday it was really really bad

 

I updosed almost 10 days ago , I am not feeling that bad but still don’t feel confident enough to taper again.

 

I don’t know what I can expect with that « stabilization » after 7 weeks of hell .I really need a break from all this . It is hard not being anxious because of the withdrawal.

 

Trish Im so happy that your life is busy and still manage to taper .

 

Marie , yes i had those depressed moments to but the depression I am talking about now is really severe with no reasons. Yesterday was hell , today it lifted mostly...

 

And yes regarding the tolerance , lot of people or withdrawal coach say not to hold more than 3 weeks or you can go back with tolerance symptoms ... so I don’t know what to think about that

 

Wish I could just hold my taper to feel at peace again and gain some forces before to go on but maybe I’m dreaming....  :'(

[[ho...]]

Hey all ,

 

Thank you for your answers.

 

I never been on depression taking benzo...it is a new symtom I have on and off since a couple of weeks , but yesterday it was really really bad

 

I updosed almost 10 days ago , I am not feeling that bad but still don’t feel confident enough to taper again.

 

I don’t know what I can expect with that « stabilization » after 7 weeks of hell .I really need a break from all this . It is hard not being anxious because of the withdrawal.

 

Trish Im so happy that your life is busy and still manage to taper .

 

Marie , yes i had those depressed moments to but the depression I am talking about now is really severe with no reasons. Yesterday was hell , today it lifted mostly...

 

And yes regarding the tolerance , lot of people or withdrawal coach say not to hold more than 3 weeks or you can go back with tolerance symptoms ... so I don’t know what to think about that

 

Wish I could just hold my taper to feel at peace again and gain some forces before to go on but maybe I’m dreaming....  :'(

 

I am glad it lifted...hopefully in time this will resolve.  It’s a horrible feeling.  I don’t know about the tolerance thing either.  I have seen people on here who say they developed tolerance right away, but now I see a comment that I wasn’t on benzo’s long enough to develop tolerance.  And maybe I wasn’t....I just have no idea.

 

I hope you start to feel better 

 

Marie

[[ho...]]

Hi all,

 

I hope it's okay for me to join this support group as I could really use some support.  I had held for over three months at .251 after experiencing a very, very bad wave at .251. But after struggling for months with failing memory and severe brain fog, I spoke with my psychiatrist and took his recommendation to updose back to .5 mg (I had tapered down to .25 mg) of lorazepam.  .5 was the last dose I felt stable on, and I've just gotten worse and worse since tapering under that dose.  I had a lot of trepidation about doing it, but I also felt kind of desperate, and the doctor thought that based on the timing of my memory and cognitive issues (they started exactly when I tapered below .5), they would likely resolve if I went back to the last dose where they weren't an issue. 

 

I've been at the updose (.5 mg) for almost two weeks now, and my symptoms haven't gotten better (yet).  I am still hoping I will improve here, as from everything I have read it usually takes somewhere between 2 weeks and 2 months for people to get stable after an updose.  The symptoms I have at this point are really insomnia, (which isn't as bad as it was, but still not good), anxiety, brain fog, and the memory and cognition issues.

 

I'm trying to stay hopeful, but this has been really tough and scary.  I should probably mention that I have had to work full time through all of this.  I appreciate any words of encouragement or support.

 

Haimona

 

Hi and welcome -

 

We are here to support you!!

 

I have not had to updose (hopefully I won’t ever have too, but who knows).  I do hope you will start to feel better soon.  Holding does seem to make all the difference for a lot of people.  I am sorry you have had to go through all of this and work full time too. 

 

What has been your taper process before you updosed?

 

Marie

[[Ca...]]

Hi Haimona ,

 

Im a bit like you I updosed 2 weeks ago, physical symptoms lifted but the mental one are changing every day and it is very distressing . Like you I don’t know what to do.

 

You are very courageous to assume your work too.

 

Can I ask you where did you read that after an updose it takes between 2 and 4 months to stabilize ?

 

Hugs

[[Ha...]]

Hi Carla,

 

There is an old thread on here called Updosing Support Group which I read from beginning to end (it was most active a few years ago but was still pretty active up until last year).  From there, and from some of the research people had shared on there, I saw that the typical time frame to stabilize and see improvements (if any) after an updose was between 2 weeks and about 2 months, sometimes 3 months.  I actually am encouraged that yesterday and today I seem to be seeing some improvements (cautiously optimistic).

 

I really have worked through all of this because I have to, but it sure has been tough (to say the least). 

 

I hope you also start to get some relief very soon! I know none of us want to updose, but sometimes I think it's necessary so we can get stable and start our tapers from a place of stability, with a better chance of success in the long run.

 

Hugs back,

 

Haimona

[[Ca...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

 

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Blessed Easter to all of us!

 

Trochsetter.

 

(Member since August of 2019)

[[Ca...]]

Thanks for sharing Haimona.

 

I saw you were holding during many months at your previous dose. You didn’t see any improvement ?

 

The most distressing symptom for me is the fear and despair to not see any improvement

[[ho...]]

Happy Easter to all!

 

Marie

[[Ca...]]

Than you Marie, do you eat chocolate there too? It is a tradition here in France

[[ho...]]

Than you Marie, do you eat chocolate there too? It is a tradition here in France

 

Yes and egg’s, and usually a big /brunch or dinner.  I am not eating chocolate because of the caffeine....I am already vibrating and I don’t want anything to add to that.  Are you partaking in the chocolate today?

 

Marie