The Long Hold Support Group

[[Au...]]

Hi All, Happy Easter.

Just looking for words of encouragement. It will be 4 weeks on Thursday since I tapered over 6 weeks 5mg Valium. I’m still on Ativan 3 times day.

I’m holding and not getting any relief, if anything I’m feel like I’m getting worse.  Sleeping maybe 1 hour a night and being jolted awake. When I shut my eyes feels like so much brain activity. I feel panicked all the time, unable to eat, concentrate or distract, lots of self talk... you are safe, it’s withdrawal, you are healing. Akathesia in full force and body movements most of the day. Been tempted to go to ER but thought what are they going to do? Offer more benzos, think I’m crazy and stick me in the psych unit. No thanks.

 

I’m scared.

 

I’m seeing my Dr on Friday. I was thinking of having an MRI. He probably won’t let me. Also, considering hydroxyzine pamoate. Been reading about it on this site. Once again, would prefer not to add to my already disrupted brain and everyone reacts differently. I really don’t know what to do next?

 

A few have mentioned it can take months to stabilise? This uncertainty is terrifying.

 

Help please.

 

I hope people holding are now stabilising. Trying to hold on and read the successful stories. 

 

[[Tr...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

Hey spy! Happy Easter to you! I hope it was a good one for you. Mine not so good. My little grandson's we're here and they both looked sick so long story short they were tested for Covid today and we're waiting for the results. I'm extremely upset and not coping well atm.

 

I see lots of new faces around here not many of the old crew anymore. I'd like to pop on more if I could find the time. Miss my buddies a lot!

 

How's everything with you? I hope life has been treating you well. I posted to you on your blog not that long ago just say hi and check up on you

 

You take care my friend! I'll be climbing down the tree from time to time and dropping by to see ya. 🐨

 

Stay cool spy🕵️‍♂️

Trishy, 🐨♥️

[[ho...]]

Aussie- Your V taper was so fast...I am sure it is going to take a while for you to stabilize.  I am so sorry you are in such a bad place, its just awful.  I hope your doctor can help you and maybe you should just give the medication a try. 

 

Trishy-  I sure hope your grandkids don’t have COVID, that would be nerve racking for sure. 

 

Hope everyone else is holding on.....

 

I got some bad news, but maybe a blessing in disguise.  After my hold I switched to liquid V and I did what the compound pharmacist told me to do with my reduction to get to my next goal.....well I didn’t check the math.  So today, I was looking at my future reduction and how I would use the syringe because it was not a whole number.  Anyway, she proceeds to tell me, that I am only at 9.4mg.  I thought I was almost at 8.5 mg...a few days away.  So anyway.....I guess my body needed the rest.  Now that the math is correct, and from now on, I will be checking it myself too...I will be moving forward.  I still am going slow.  To get me to 8.4mg by the end of the month, I think the DLMT is going to be too fast.  So I will just have to play with it.  Thank God my doctor is letting me set the schedule.

 

Marie

[[Di...]]

Hi All, Happy Easter.

Just looking for words of encouragement. It will be 4 weeks on Thursday since I tapered over 6 weeks 5mg Valium. I’m still on Ativan 3 times day.

I’m holding and not getting any relief, if anything I’m feel like I’m getting worse.  Sleeping maybe 1 hour a night and being jolted awake. When I shut my eyes feels like so much brain activity. I feel panicked all the time, unable to eat, concentrate or distract, lots of self talk... you are safe, it’s withdrawal, you are healing. Akathesia in full force and body movements most of the day. Been tempted to go to ER but thought what are they going to do? Offer more benzos, think I’m crazy and stick me in the psych unit. No thanks.

 

I’m scared.

 

I’m seeing my Dr on Friday. I was thinking of having an MRI. He probably won’t let me. Also, considering hydroxyzine pamoate. Been reading about it on this site. Once again, would prefer not to add to my already disrupted brain and everyone reacts differently. I really don’t know what to do next?

 

A few have mentioned it can take months to stabilise? This uncertainty is terrifying.

 

Help please.

 

I hope people holding are now stabilising. Trying to hold on and read the successful stories.

 

Aussiegal I am so sorry you are suffering.  I am also on Ativan and have been holding for 5 weeks now trying to stabilize so that I can go much slower when I start back tapering.  My biggest sx is anxiety.  I dose 4xs/day with the largest dose at bedtime thank the Lord i have been able to sleep pretty well.  Is there a way that maybe you could try that?  Keeping you in my prayers.

[[Au...]]

Thanks for your replies. The taper was quick and I’m hoping it’s just time to heal. It’s hard to know what’s causes what and it’s hard to try new things but I’m in such a bad way I’m going to have to.

I’m off to the Dr today and I’ve been researching all weekend. So hopefully we can come up with a plan.

 

Marie, I’m sorry you thought you were lower than you thought but you are on your way abs functional so that’s good.

 

Dianedeedee, I hope you’ve seen some improvement whilst stabalising. I’m hoping my doctor can work something out. I really don’t want to updose, I’m worried Ativan could be causing all this hell as well as my rapid taper. I use the higher dose in the morning when I’m the worst but it’s not helping, probably because I’m not sleeping.

 

Thanks for you input. 🤞 we get some relief soon. Let me know when you do so we can celebrate!

 

[[Di...]]

Aussie- Your V taper was so fast...I am sure it is going to take a while for you to stabilize.  I am so sorry you are in such a bad place, its just awful.  I hope your doctor can help you and maybe you should just give the medication a try. 

 

Trishy-  I sure hope your grandkids don’t have COVID, that would be nerve racking for sure. 

 

Hope everyone else is holding on.....

 

I got some bad news, but maybe a blessing in disguise.  After my hold I switched to liquid V and I did what the compound pharmacist told me to do with my reduction to get to my next goal.....well I didn’t check the math.  So today, I was looking at my future reduction and how I would use the syringe because it was not a whole number.  Anyway, she proceeds to tell me, that I am only at 9.4mg.  I thought I was almost at 8.5 mg...a few days away.  So anyway.....I guess my body needed the rest.  Now that the math is correct, and from now on, I will be checking it myself too...I will be moving forward.  I still am going slow.  To get me to 8.4mg by the end of the month, I think the DLMT is going to be too fast.  So I will just have to play with it.  Thank God my doctor is letting me set the schedule.

 

Marie

 

Marie I'm sorry that your reduction wasn't what you thought it was.  I had basically the same thing happen to me thought my dose was much lower but it was my fault I misunderstood the formula... I was devastated took a few days to get over the let down...probably the benzo brain.  You have such an amazing attitude you always lift my spirits!

 

[[Au...]]

You’re both are so inspiring!

 

I feel comfort and supported when I see you two reply. 🤗

[[Ca...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

Hey spy! Happy Easter to you! I hope it was a good one for you. Mine not so good. My little grandson's we're here and they both looked sick so long story short they were tested for Covid today and we're waiting for the results. I'm extremely upset and not coping well atm.

 

I see lots of new faces around here not many of the old crew anymore. I'd like to pop on more if I could find the time. Miss my buddies a lot!

 

How's everything with you? I hope life has been treating you well. I posted to you on your blog not that long ago just say hi and check up on you

 

You take care my friend! I'll be climbing down the tree from time to time and dropping by to see ya. 🐨

 

Stay cool spy🕵️‍♂️

Trishy, 🐨♥️

Ill catch u up.. -just about to head out to a dr, and hope I can get my car/submarine through the creek.. -tis a tad wet here atm..

 

Hope its just a normal “sick”, and not bad..

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

I need some insight. So I am holding at the same dose, same time each day since 3 weeks. For the moment, I don’t stabilize. One day I feel just « ok » (very far from normal or good), the other day I am in great depressed state, totally unable to live my life.

Those depressed day are more and more frequent. They started 3 weeks ago, I was having maybe 1 or 2 days like this the first week, now it is every other day.

What am I doing wrong? Do a long hold will help?

Thank you.

[[Di...]]

You’re both are so inspiring!

 

I feel comfort and supported when I see you two reply. 🤗

 

Aussiegal thank you for your sweet words 😘

[[Ol...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

 

Hi Cant!!!!!

I pop in still to catch up, less and less but it's so awesome to see your post! Much love to you and the pups!

 

Seems like there is a lot of new action on this thread and I'm digging it. I'm getting better and better now that I'm over a year off benzos, woohoo! I think I will not come back too much anymore, time to usher in a new guard. Love you ALL! It is you who has made this journey bearable.

 

I will still pop in every now and then, and I still have a success story to write, once I'm feeling it.

[[ho...]]

Hi everyone.  Love the sweet words always

 

Love the comments from the old timers as they are so encouraging too.

 

I wish I knew more about dosing and holding, but I am fairly new at this myself, so I don’t have the answers.  I wish I could help more.  You’re all in my Prayer’s and I just know we all have to take this beast one day at a time.

 

I’m not doing so well either.... I think my compound liquid V is loosing it’s stability in the second week ( I have been journaling now) and again, my symptom’s are ramping up a bit.  I think I am going to switch back to tablets and just to smaller % cuts than before.  I feel like I am going down hill again....and I only reduced just over .5mg in over a month.  Maybe I didn’t hold long enough after my crash n burn and reducing too fast over those 4-5months(well even before when I was on K).  So I have decided I am going to hold for a month and try and stabilize again.  I am starting in a better place than before, so hopefully it will help more.  I am just so tired. 

 

I do find myself thinking about the calendar ( I am only human) and then I have to just push it out of my mind.....I say “ leave it alone”....it is what it is, and as long as you are reducing, you will eventually get off

 

Marie

[[ki...]]

OliveKitty, so glad to see you post. You have been a huge inspiration to me and I miss you posting here, but I am so happy for your healing. I can’t wait to read your success story! ❤️

[[Ca...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

 

Hi Cant!!!!!

I pop in still to catch up, less and less but it's so awesome to see your post! Much love to you and the pups!

 

Seems like there is a lot of new action on this thread and I'm digging it. I'm getting better and better now that I'm over a year off benzos, woohoo! I think I will not come back too much anymore, time to usher in a new guard. Love you ALL! It is you who has made this journey bearable.

 

I will still pop in every now and then, and I still have a success story to write, once I'm feeling it.

Olive..!! -Spread your wings and fly..!!

Ugggh.. -too early to text yet.. -Need at least one coffee first.. lol

Great to hear of your progress, it came hard earnt, but you did it with style..

I look forward to that SS when your ready..

 

 

[[ki...]]

Quiet across the boards the last several days. I hope you ladies are all doing ok. I made it through ovulation without insomnia, but anxiety right before my period is up. This is yucky. Just needed to vent, I know you all get it. ❤️

[[Sh...]]

[Guest [...]]

Day 5 of period and finally feeling slightly human again!

 

This was the worst one yet, and it came 22 days after the last one!

 

The headaches are so bad, I feel like I'm having a stroke, the akathisia is terrible and the period itself was 3 heavy days of clots and more clots, and now petering out for the last 2 days.

This was so bad, I really don't know how I'll keep doing this.

 

Winnie

[[Ca...]]

Hi Winnie,

 

I read your first post to know your story...can’t believe stories like this happen to so many people...

 

How are you doing your tapering ? What rate and percentage ?

Did you stabilized from august to January ? I think I read that...

 

Xx carla

[[Di...]]

Hello everyone!  I'm not having a good day 6th week of holding.  Lots of anxiety, nervousness and benzo belly.  Please tell me it's going to get better.  Spring is my favorite time of year and I feel horrible.  😭

[[ki...]]

 

So much this. My uterus needs to get her act together.  :laugh:

[[ho...]]

Hello everyone!  I'm not having a good day 6th week of holding.  Lots of anxiety, nervousness and benzo belly.  Please tell me it's going to get better.  Spring is my favorite time of year and I feel horrible.  😭

 

HI-    I sure hope things get better soon....all that pops into my mind is the one post ( I wish I remember who it was) who did the hold for 3 months and it was around the 6th week when things started to turn around.  So hopefully any day you “should” start to be feeling better.  What helped my benzo belly was probiotics. I use the “RAW 50 women wise”, you can get it on Amazon, and it need to be refrigerated.  Plus I did Belly rubs and Vegus nerve messaging, plus belly breathing. 

 

I can’t remember if you have tried to do a Valium c/o?  Is this a possibility?  Longer 1/2 life might make a big difference.

 

I’m not feeling so hot myself.  I am going to hold for a bit too.  I can’t stand the vibrating and my tinnitus is coming back along with the fatigue. 

Trying to stay positive....”trying”....

 

Marie

[[ki...]]

Day 5 of period and finally feeling slightly human again!

 

This was the worst one yet, and it came 22 days after the last one!

 

The headaches are so bad, I feel like I'm having a stroke, the akathisia is terrible and the period itself was 3 heavy days of clots and more clots, and now petering out for the last 2 days.

This was so bad, I really don't know how I'll keep doing this.

 

Winnie

 

I think the same thing when I hit a bad wave... how am I going to keep doing this? But I do. Every time. One day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. We will get through this and we will heal. Trina has mentioned several times: the people who originally started this thread are not posting anymore. That’s a good sign. They left because they healed and we will too. ❤️

[[Di...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

[[Sh...]]

 

So much this. My uterus needs to get her act together.  :laugh:

 

[[ki...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

 

There are two formulations of diazepam in the US, one is a 1 mg/ml solution and the other is a 5 mg/ml solution (intensol). Most of the buddies here use the 1 mg/ml version (including myself).