The Long Hold Support Group

[[ho...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

 

“They say”. So I don’t know...that the V is better because of the longer half life....and that does make sense to me.  Maybe you should “try”.  Just a thought.  Maybe because mine is “compounded” it doesn’t last as long, or maybe it does, and it just isn’t working as well for me. I really don’t know yet.  Maybe my system was just too fried, and even if I would have done my “hold” and reduced just another .5mg, I would have still felt horrible.  So I really don’t know yet.  I am going back on the tablets starting on Saturday night.  I have stuff planned on Fri and Sat and I am at 9.35mg right now, and will go to 9mg(pills) so I don’t want to have a come down by this weekend.  After that I am going to hold for a month and then try a DT of 5% and hold 2-3 weeks and see how I do.  I am ordering scales this weekend to get ready to also do a dry micro taper if I need to.  If I don’t see much difference (journaling a lot) I may end up back on the liquid down the road.

 

I’m glad Kitsume answered that for you....I don’t know what my compound was made of.  I am going to ask when I talk to her next time. 

 

I so hope you feel better any second now

 

Just sitting here vibrating.....

 

Marie

[[Di...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

 

“They say”. So I don’t know...that the V is better because of the longer half life....and that does make sense to me.  Maybe you should “try”.  Just a thought.  Maybe because mine is “compounded” it doesn’t last as long, or maybe it does, and it just isn’t working as well for me. I really don’t know yet.  Maybe my system was just too fried, and even if I would have done my “hold” and reduced just another .5mg, I would have still felt horrible.  So I really don’t know yet.  I am going back on the tablets starting on Saturday night.  I have stuff planned on Fri and Sat and I am at 9.35mg right now, and will go to 9mg(pills) so I don’t want to have a come down by this weekend.  After that I am going to hold for a month and then try a DT of 5% and hold 2-3 weeks and see how I do.  I am ordering scales this weekend to get ready to also do a dry micro taper if I need to.  If I don’t see much difference (journaling a lot) I may end up back on the liquid down the road.

 

I’m glad Kitsume answered that for you....I don’t know what my compound was made of.  I am going to ask when I talk to her next time. 

 

I so hope you feel better any second now

 

Just sitting here vibrating.....

 

Marie

 

I sure wish this was easy!    One of these days 

[[ho...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

 

“They say”. So I don’t know...that the V is better because of the longer half life....and that does make sense to me.  Maybe you should “try”.  Just a thought.  Maybe because mine is “compounded” it doesn’t last as long, or maybe it does, and it just isn’t working as well for me. I really don’t know yet.  Maybe my system was just too fried, and even if I would have done my “hold” and reduced just another .5mg, I would have still felt horrible.  So I really don’t know yet.  I am going back on the tablets starting on Saturday night.  I have stuff planned on Fri and Sat and I am at 9.35mg right now, and will go to 9mg(pills) so I don’t want to have a come down by this weekend.  After that I am going to hold for a month and then try a DT of 5% and hold 2-3 weeks and see how I do.  I am ordering scales this weekend to get ready to also do a dry micro taper if I need to.  If I don’t see much difference (journaling a lot) I may end up back on the liquid down the road.

 

I’m glad Kitsume answered that for you....I don’t know what my compound was made of.  I am going to ask when I talk to her next time. 

 

I so hope you feel better any second now

 

Just sitting here vibrating.....

 

Marie

 

I sure wish this was easy!    One of these days 

 

Me too....I talked with my doc today, and I was talking about it being easier....we laughed....He mentioned a couple of other medications...I declined...He said I could up my topomax.....I said, “ I think I will wait on that, I made need to do that later on”.....so I have options.  But I don’t know about easier.  He did tell me not one of his patients has ever failed.  That was so encouraging.  Probably because he lets us set the pace  . He understands we know our bodies best....that’s what he says.  As long as you’re going down and making progress, and even if you need to hold, you’re doing well 

 

One day at a time.....

 

Marie

[[Di...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

[/

 

“They say”. So I don’t know...that the V is better because of the longer half life....and that does make sense to me.  Maybe you should “try”.  Just a thought.  Maybe because mine is “compounded” it doesn’t last as long, or maybe it does, and it just isn’t working as well for me. I really don’t know yet.  Maybe my system was just too fried, and even if I would have done my “hold” and reduced just another .5mg, I would have still felt horrible.  So I really don’t know yet.  I am going back on the tablets starting on Saturday night.  I have stuff planned on Fri and Sat and I am at 9.35mg right now, and will go to 9mg(pills) so I don’t want to have a come down by this weekend.  After that I am going to hold for a month and then try a DT of 5% and hold 2-3 weeks and see how I do.  I am ordering scales this weekend to get ready to also do a dry micro taper if I need to.  If I don’t see much difference (journaling a lot) I may end up back on the liquid down the road.

 

I’m glad Kitsume answered that for you....I don’t know what my compound was made of.  I am going to ask when I talk to her next time. 

 

I so hope you feel better any second now

 

Just sitting here vibrating.....

 

Marie

 

I sure wish this was easy!    One of these days 

 

Me too....I talked with my doc today, and I was talking about it being easier....we laughed....He mentioned a couple of other medications...I declined...He said I could up my topomax.....I said, “ I think I will wait on that, I made need to do that later on”.....so I have options.  But I don’t know about easier.  He did tell me not one of his patients has ever failed.  That was so encouraging.  Probably because he lets us set the pace  . He understands we know our bodies best....that’s what he says.  As long as you’re going down and making progress, and even if you need to hold, you’re doing well 

 

One day at a time.....

 

Marie

 

That is encouraging... Thank you for sharing that.  My doc bless her heart told me that I was the first one she has encountered that is having such a problem.  But then again she was in the ER for 22 yrs and has only been in private practice about 4 yrs. 

 

[[ho...]]

Marie thank you.  I've thought about the valium c/o but I just dont know.  If I could stabilize and feel better I think I could carry on with a very slow taper.

I saw where you thought that maybe your compounded solution lost its power the second week...I saw a post where someone else was thinking that about theirs so they picked theirs up every week.  Also does valium have an intensol oral concentrate?  I do the lorazepam intensol Badsocref worked up a formula for me.  Hope you feel better soon too.  😘

[/

 

“They say”. So I don’t know...that the V is better because of the longer half life....and that does make sense to me.  Maybe you should “try”.  Just a thought.  Maybe because mine is “compounded” it doesn’t last as long, or maybe it does, and it just isn’t working as well for me. I really don’t know yet.  Maybe my system was just too fried, and even if I would have done my “hold” and reduced just another .5mg, I would have still felt horrible.  So I really don’t know yet.  I am going back on the tablets starting on Saturday night.  I have stuff planned on Fri and Sat and I am at 9.35mg right now, and will go to 9mg(pills) so I don’t want to have a come down by this weekend.  After that I am going to hold for a month and then try a DT of 5% and hold 2-3 weeks and see how I do.  I am ordering scales this weekend to get ready to also do a dry micro taper if I need to.  If I don’t see much difference (journaling a lot) I may end up back on the liquid down the road.

 

I’m glad Kitsume answered that for you....I don’t know what my compound was made of.  I am going to ask when I talk to her next time. 

 

I so hope you feel better any second now

 

Just sitting here vibrating.....

 

Marie

 

I sure wish this was easy!    One of these days 

 

Me too....I talked with my doc today, and I was talking about it being easier....we laughed....He mentioned a couple of other medications...I declined...He said I could up my topomax.....I said, “ I think I will wait on that, I made need to do that later on”.....so I have options.  But I don’t know about easier.  He did tell me not one of his patients has ever failed.  That was so encouraging.  Probably because he lets us set the pace  . He understands we know our bodies best....that’s what he says.  As long as you’re going down and making progress, and even if you need to hold, you’re doing well 

 

One day at a time.....

 

Marie

 

That is encouraging... Thank you for sharing that.  My doc bless her heart told me that I was the first one she has encountered that is having such a problem.  But then again she was in the ER for 22 yrs and has only been in private practice about 4 yrs. 

 

He is a Psychiatrist that specializes in “addiction” / “dependence”, and before private practice he was at the VA and started his specialty there as he saw so many Vet’s trying to get off of benzo’s and other drug’s.  He is also an advocate for the state/govt/people...so he goes to hearings and is involved with legislation to help other doctor’s ( or educate ) to be benzo wise and not put patients through rapid detox.  He is not a fan of detox facilities for benzo’s. 

 

I’m sure if your doctor really starts to research and is willing to put the time and effort in, she will become quite an advocate and see many more patients that suffer.  My doctor says he has seen it all. 

 

At least your doctor is working with you 

 

Marie

[[su...]]

 

So much this. My uterus needs to get her act together.  :laugh:

 

 

Shayna, this dose of humor was absolutely needed tonight.  Also, my uterus is not throwing temper tantrums so much as carrying out underhanded, all out war last ditch attempts as she knows her time is almost up #ageduterus 😂

[[Di...]]

Marie you are blessed to have him for your doctor.  ❤

[[gi...]]

Sorry folks l keep forgetting to tell you all l am finally finished my taper so l am off the diazepam since the 10 th of January.Nothing to report much the same as any cut so happy with my taper wouldn't change a thing.lt has never been easy sadly however l got there and so will you all.love and hugs Stut.X

BIG CONGRATS STUT! I’m always so happy to see familiar names on this thread post success stories. Well done! It’s so hard (as everyone here well knows) and it’s HUGELY encouraging to see this.

[[Sh...]]

 

So much this. My uterus needs to get her act together.  :laugh:

 

 

Shayna, this dose of humor was absolutely needed tonight.  Also, my uterus is not throwing temper tantrums so much as carrying out underhanded, all out war last ditch attempts as she knows her time is almost up #ageduterus 😂

 

Oh ur uterus is being an asshole! 😆 mine too! #timetoretiretheseaginguteruses!

[[go...]]

Hi everyone

 

I'm having really intense stomach pain and nausea today (bloating, gas pain, etc.) and I can't tell if this is PMS or a wave. I don't know if it matters, but I just feel really terrible. Also having body temperature issues, but can't tell what it's from. I've been waking up freezing but covered in sweat, and feeling cold but warm, and chilly but clammy during the day.

 

What's happening? How long is this going to last? Any advice?

[[ki...]]

Golden, a lot of what you described sounds like what I experienced today. The short answer is it’s withdrawal PMS. I started my cycle this evening, this morning I woke up sweaty but freezing and had a hard time getting comfortable temperature wise most of the day. Lots of nausea, could hardly eat, headache from hell, burning skin. It sucked. You are in good company. The only blessing is I know it will end in a day or two. I can’t say when it will end for you, but it definitely will. ❤️

[[go...]]

Thank you so much kitsune. I really needed that reassurance. I'm sorry to hear you're also feeling this way, though. Withdrawal and PMS already suck. Why do they have to get even worse together?

 

My period should start any day now, so I'm hoping this goes away soon. I hope that today is a much better day for you!

[[ki...]]

Just wanted to share this, there’s some anecdotal reports of women’s periods being affected by the covid vaccines. Reports of periods starting early, more painful cramps, and heavier flow. I just got my first Moderna shot last week and this period has been intense. I was holding my dose too, so the symptoms kind of took me by surprise.  I want to be clear I am not trying to discourage anyone from getting vaccinated, I just want you to have this information. I will be getting my second vaccination on April 26th. ❤️

[[ho...]]

Dianedeedee - I am blessed to have him.  When I asked about switching my protocol, he was so supportive. 

 

Vibrating less today.....it’s a good day....LOL

 

Marie

[[Ho...]]

Hi friends! New to this group.

 

Does anyone feel terrible a week or so leading up to your period?

 

The reason I ask - I just switched over to a liquid compound of Ativan. I stabilized for a week. Out of nowhere starting Tuesday, I’ve had horrible insomnia, anxiety, brain burning, body aches, nausea/some diarrhea and no appetite. Feels very acute-like which is so weird after I felt great with the transition to liquid. I did eat a lot of sugar Easter Sunday and the following Monday with a sucralose drink on Tuesday and also was in the sun an hour or so each day (not sure if either of this matters/affected me)

 

I’m grasping for answers here because I have had 1-3 hour sleep nights for 3 nights straight and I’m getting so discouraged. I actually felt really good during ovulation this month

 

 

I’m supposed to start my period 4/14.

 

Any suggestions or do you think this is not menstrual cycle related?

Thank you so much!

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone! I see a lot of new faces here and that's great to see everyone in this boat supporting one another.

 

Also shout out to my old crew here! Miss you guys! You know who you are😉 hope you're all doing well.

 

Stut my twin! I'm thinking of you and hoping all is well.

 

Mary, I pm'd you a couple of times and haven't heard back from you I hope you are alright. You never not get back to me I'm worried about you. 🙏🙏🙏

 

Oh my gosh let me give this a go.. Final, memes, go, Olive, Ginger, Troch, jwl, DD and my English! .. shit that's all my brain remembers🥴 anyway my people I am thinking of all of you and I'm sorry if I missed your name but the benzo brain is in full control here😏

 

Have a great day everyone, new people and the old gang, hang in there! 💪

Trishy, ♥️🙏

[[Tr...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

Hey spy! Happy Easter to you! I hope it was a good one for you. Mine not so good. My little grandson's we're here and they both looked sick so long story short they were tested for Covid today and we're waiting for the results. I'm extremely upset and not coping well atm.

 

I see lots of new faces around here not many of the old crew anymore. I'd like to pop on more if I could find the time. Miss my buddies a lot!

 

How's everything with you? I hope life has been treating you well. I posted to you on your blog not that long ago just say hi and check up on you

 

You take care my friend! I'll be climbing down the tree from time to time and dropping by to see ya. 🐨

 

Stay cool spy🕵️‍♂️

Trishy, 🐨♥️

Ill catch u up.. -just about to head out to a dr, and hope I can get my car/submarine through the creek.. -tis a tad wet here atm..

 

Hope its just a normal “sick”, and not bad..

 

Hey spy!

The baby is ok he is tested negative thank God! 🙏

So I guess you're getting a lot of rain?? Hope the Dr appt went well🤞 was it a med visit or something other? I hope you're ok spy I haven't had a chance to read over at your place. I'll try to pop on later to see what's up with you.

Gotta run baby is on his way over, thank God it's Friday it's been a hell of a week!

Stay cool spy, 😎

Trishy🐨♥️

[[Ca...]]

Happy Easter Everyone..!!

 

-How many of the old gang are still here..?? I see Trishie and Stut... -and others from around the boards...

 

Hey spy! Happy Easter to you! I hope it was a good one for you. Mine not so good. My little grandson's we're here and they both looked sick so long story short they were tested for Covid today and we're waiting for the results. I'm extremely upset and not coping well atm.

 

I see lots of new faces around here not many of the old crew anymore. I'd like to pop on more if I could find the time. Miss my buddies a lot!

 

How's everything with you? I hope life has been treating you well. I posted to you on your blog not that long ago just say hi and check up on you

 

You take care my friend! I'll be climbing down the tree from time to time and dropping by to see ya. 🐨

 

Stay cool spy🕵️‍♂️

Trishy, 🐨♥️

Ill catch u up.. -just about to head out to a dr, and hope I can get my car/submarine through the creek.. -tis a tad wet here atm..

 

Hope its just a normal “sick”, and not bad..

 

Hey spy!

The baby is ok he is tested negative thank God! 🙏

So I guess you're getting a lot of rain?? Hope the Dr appt went well🤞 was it a med visit or something other? I hope you're ok spy I haven't had a chance to read over at your place. I'll try to pop on later to see what's up with you.

Gotta run baby is on his way over, thank God it's Friday it's been a hell of a week!

Stay cool spy, 😎

Trishy🐨♥️

Im glad no Baby Covid, -as if nappies, vomit, and crying isnt enough..!!

 

The Dr.. -Yeah, long story.. I guess you remember my last “Brain event” and loss of half my face muscles for a while (2 years ago)..  If your game, most of it is on my blog over the last few weeks or so.. Might have scared Mim off, so read with caution.. -Seriously, I hope she is ok whatever is going on.. -She sure puts the colour in the day..

 

You have a good weekend, -a relaxing one I hope...

 

[[be...]]

Hi HopeForTomorrow,

 

Almost everyone here has experienced what you’re describing during PMS, period, and/or ovulation. You’re in the right place! There is no way to absolutely know which of those things you describe caused this episode for you, but this gives you good data going forward (I realize that’s not helping the misery end any faster). Keep a journal, look for a pattern...it always calms me so much to see patterns in my symptoms. I really recommend clean eating and good sleep hygiene for these unpredictable hormone weeks.

 

Praying your wave passes quickly and you’re back to a better baseline soon.

[[Ho...]]

Hi HopeForTomorrow,

 

Almost everyone here has experienced what you’re describing during PMS, period, and/or ovulation. You’re in the right place! There is no way to absolutely know which of those things you describe caused this episode for you, but this gives you good data going forward (I realize that’s not helping the misery end any faster). Keep a journal, look for a pattern...it always calms me so much to see patterns in my symptoms. I really recommend clean eating and good sleep hygiene for these unpredictable hormone weeks.

 

Praying your wave passes quickly and you’re back to a better baseline soon.

 

Thank you so much, my friend.

 

I haven’t had too much trouble with menstrual cycles. Well, I can tell I usually have a small uptick in symptoms leading up to my period but never, ever this bad.

 

I guess - could switching to liquid (any change) cause sensitivity and change in my hormonal-induced symptoms?

 

I agree - If I find a cycle/reason for symptoms, I can handle them so much better. It’s the new ones that pop up or the random waves that I find crush me.

 

I’m praying for that to not be the case so I can get through waves without so much fear!

[[Di...]]

Dianedeedee - I am blessed to have him.  When I asked about switching my protocol, he was so supportive. 

 

Vibrating less today.....it’s a good day....LOL

 

Marie

 

So glad you had a good day!

[[Ha...]]

I had a window yesterday, the first one I've had since I reinstated at .5 mg as recommended by my doctor.  It took almost three weeks for me to get there, but it seems like I'm (hopefully!!) maybe starting to stabilize there.  I had two good nights of sleep in a row, a good window yesterday, and a pretty good day today.  My hope is to get stable here (this is the last dose I was stable on), hold a while, and then start tapering slowly and methodically (which I didn't know enough to do last time I started this taper) from there.

 

It was exhilarating to feel like myself again for a day, and also scary because every symptom I've had today makes me worry the window was just a blip.  What I am trying to do is just ride out the process, enjoy the windows, and not put too much weight on the waves when they happen. 

 

Anyway, I just wanted to share a moment of good news.

 

Haimona

[[ho...]]

I had a window yesterday, the first one I've had since I reinstated at .5 mg as recommended by my doctor.  It took almost three weeks for me to get there, but it seems like I'm (hopefully!!) maybe starting to stabilize there.  I had two good nights of sleep in a row, a good window yesterday, and a pretty good day today.  My hope is to get stable here (this is the last dose I was stable on), hold a while, and then start tapering slowly and methodically (which I didn't know enough to do last time I started this taper) from there.

 

It was exhilarating to feel like myself again for a day, and also scary because every symptom I've had today makes me worry the window was just a blip.  What I am trying to do is just ride out the process, enjoy the windows, and not put too much weight on the waves when they happen. 

 

Anyway, I just wanted to share a moment of good news.

 

Haimona

 

YAY.  :yippee:   That is such great news and I am so happy for you.  It is so nice to hear a positive story and sharing gives others hope and encouragement.  There are people who are also just lurking (like I did for a while) and this is so helpful, and even to us who are sharing and waiting.....

 

Even if the window closes, it should re-open.  Some old timers have shared with me that they believe in those waves, or closed windows is when we are healing....so that’s what I hold on to.  But boy when the windows are open, or even 1/2 open, it’s like the world has changed over night.  I’m thankfully in a window too.  The last couple days.  It’s amazing how just holding at even micro doses, changes things (also scary). 

 

Marie

[[Di...]]

Haimona and Marie so glad to hear you are both having windows!!!  I had a really good one a couple nights ago it was wonderful.  Praying for more for all of us.  I'm sure hoping this long hold I'm doing pays off big time!  Hugs ❤

[[Ha...]]

Marie,

 

I am so happy that you are also having a window!! It is such sorely needed encouragement to feel like yourself again even for a day or two ... I feel like it reminds me that I am still in here, and is hopefully a preview of what is to come.  Sometimes I even start to "forget" for a moment that I am still in this process (which can be a double-edged sword when the window closes again and I can feel so dashed).  But I'm glad it's encouraging to those who are lurking (as I have also done many times).  And I like the idea that we are healing during the waves.  I know our brains are trying so hard to heal.

 

Diane,

 

Thank you for the support!! And I'm so glad you also had a wonderful window ... Praying you will have another one very soon! (and for all of us!!)

 

 

Haimona