The Long Hold Support Group

[[ja...]]

Hi trishy

My doctor is semi retired.

She told me that she is not going anywhere. She said that some few high functioning accademic at the university are on benzo and she is not in a hurry for me to get off it

I just want to be functional and feel okay on it.

12 pills to 4 pills is a big reduction

Congrat Trishy. You sound doing very well.

I envy you guys. Between sewing, gardening and working. You all sound pretty functional. You even have the mind space to talk about other things than withdrawal.

I would like to get there.

Xoxoxo

[[Tr...]]

Hi trishy

My doctor is semi retired.

She told me that she is not going anywhere. She said that some few high functioning accademic at the university are on benzo and she is not in a hurry for me to get off it

I just want to be functional and feel okay on it.

12 pills to 4 pills is a big reduction

Congrat Trishy. You sound doing very well.

I envy you guys. Between sewing, gardening and working. You all sound pretty functional. You even have the mind space to talk about other things than withdrawal.

I would like to get there.

Xoxoxo

Oh you will get there Jasmine. It's a gradual healing while holding. Up and down days and then leveling off. At least that's how it went for me. After my first hold of 6 months I was never happier in my life. I went back to work with kindergarten age children and I loved it! I flew for the first time since I was 11 yrs old and went to Disney world with my family. Holding that long at that time was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. It worked so well for me which is why I'm a big cheerleader for holding. I even recommend holding beyond that to get some life back, some enjoyable life back for awhile before taking up the tapering process again. Sometimes we not only need a physical break from tapering but also a mental break from it.

It's great that you can take as long as you like to taper so take advantage of that and go super slow. Holding always and as long as necessary. I can already tell that you are healing by the way you communicate with us now in comparison to when you first joined us. You are on your way to better days my friend. Have patience with the process, I know that's a hard thing to do but only time and patience will get you through. 

🙋‍♀️❤️

 

[[ja...]]

Thank you Trishy for the encouraging words.

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Trishy for the encouraging words.

:smitten:

[[ja...]]

I still get high from my dose so I guess this is a good sign that I have not reached tolerance yet.

[[Pa...]]

I still get high from my dose so I guess this is a good sign that I have not reached tolerance yet.

 

I wonder if you're over medicated?

[[ja...]]

I still get high from my dose so I guess this is a good sign that I have not reached tolerance yet.

 

I wonder if you're over medicated?

 

Nope. Since I still shake between my dose.

And no, I won't cut right now.

I only get relaxed (high is the wrong word) when I take 5mg of valium, with melatonin . I don't feel the 2mg that I take during the day.

[[Tr...]]

Ladies an update, had symptoms rev up 3 days before my period. I had increased my intake of the iron supplement I'm on, maybe it was that. Period started and the revved symptoms continued. Second last day before my period ended, the symptoms went up another notch, I twitched all night, hardly got any sleep, had crying spells, urg. Period ended today and I feel myself coming back. Oh goodness, I'm wrestling a bear every period. I have always been stable my whole life. Always in control of myself. This experience is unbelievable. By the way, I find holding a hot water bottle helps a little bit with twitches when trying to sleep....

[[Po...]]

Hey ladies!

I’ve been on this board a long time ago with my 1st taper attempt and back now that I’m pretty far into this taper with some issues.  Just wondering if there’s any premenstrual or menstrual IBS issues. I was up literally all night last with bad stomach pain (not period cramps) and I’m on day #3.

I truly feel like us ladies have it way harder than guys.

 

Thanks for any feedback

 

Positive P

[[tr...]]

Trying2B, I’m so sorry. This truly is horrible. Do you get anxiety that keeps you up all night, too? My anxiety is way worse right now than Just 2 days ago. My body won’t calm down, not even for sleep. I’m scared I’ll get 0 hours again tonight. How do you cope with the anxiety?

 

My anxiety likes to ramp up as I head into my period..it disrupts my sleep and I get not nice dreams. But I know it goes. I think we just ride it out for now:)

[[tr...]]

Ladies an update, had symptoms rev up 3 days before my period. I had increased my intake of the iron supplement I'm on, maybe it was that. Period started and the revved symptoms continued. Second last day before my period ended, the symptoms went up another notch, I twitched all night, hardly got any sleep, had crying spells, urg. Period ended today and I feel myself coming back. Oh goodness, I'm wrestling a bear every period. I have always been stable my whole life. Always in control of myself. This experience is unbelievable. By the way, I find holding a hot water bottle helps a little bit with twitches when trying to sleep....

 

Trying: goodness you got slammed! Twitching..ugh...there are certain symptoms I can handle but I hate vibrations and twitching. they're really rare compared to early on, but its still concerning when it happens. Hugs dear girl.

[[RO...]]

I think it is alright to feel angry and let it out. This is truly a nightmare trying to get off of this stuff.

I am so angry with the idiot who put me on this drug. I did not need it. I was having a terrible reaction to a Vivelle Estradiol Patch which landed me in the hospital. I had Cardiovascular issues, rapid weight loss, nausea and vomiting and a very revved up CNS. The IM doc called in for a Psych consult after I told him I realized it was the patch. I had a total hysterectomy 8 months later and was mismanaged hormonally. The Psych attending told me that I had separation anxiety from losing my uterus! Barbaric. Anyway, he put me on Klonopin. I had multiple workups and my GI and Cardiovascular systems were a mess. I only just found out because I  ordered my medical records from 1998. I had Left Atrial Abnormality and was never told. Had a lot of SVT which I already knew and some ventricular things going on. I am getting the rest of my chart to see who this guy was. I just can't remember his name. When I do, I am going to write him a letter and let him know what a ignorant idiot he was and is. I was discharged with an apology and the klonopin. Also, the GYN who took my ovaries because he stated that I probably had ovarian cancer never came up to see me. I had an ovarian cyst. This was emergency surgery. It happened so fast and my life was changed in 2 hours.

I have tried to let it go, but how do let it go when you are suffering through this? Very hard to do. I really try, but I have my days. So, it is alright to be furious about this. Very furious. I still believe we will get off and be healthy. I have to keep hoping. Thank you for letting me rant. I will be a part of this group, because I will be holding and not rushing this at all. Too much suffering already.

What were your symptoms? This is something I’m looking at right now and I have all the symptoms for ovarian cancer but I don’t know if I have it or not I’m waiting for the tests. And I’m just kind of wondering what your symptoms were that made your doctor think this? Was it just a cyst or watt? Thank you hope you’re still here.

[[St...]]

I think it is alright to feel angry and let it out. This is truly a nightmare trying to get off of this stuff.

I am so angry with the idiot who put me on this drug. I did not need it. I was having a terrible reaction to a Vivelle Estradiol Patch which landed me in the hospital. I had Cardiovascular issues, rapid weight loss, nausea and vomiting and a very revved up CNS. The IM doc called in for a Psych consult after I told him I realized it was the patch. I had a total hysterectomy 8 months later and was mismanaged hormonally. The Psych attending told me that I had separation anxiety from losing my uterus! Barbaric. Anyway, he put me on Klonopin. I had multiple workups and my GI and Cardiovascular systems were a mess. I only just found out because I  ordered my medical records from 1998. I had Left Atrial Abnormality and was never told. Had a lot of SVT which I already knew and some ventricular things going on. I am getting the rest of my chart to see who this guy was. I just can't remember his name. When I do, I am going to write him a letter and let him know what a ignorant idiot he was and is. I was discharged with an apology and the klonopin. Also, the GYN who took my ovaries because he stated that I probably had ovarian cancer never came up to see me. I had an ovarian cyst. This was emergency surgery. It happened so fast and my life was changed in 2 hours.

I have tried to let it go, but how do let it go when you are suffering through this? Very hard to do. I really try, but I have my days. So, it is alright to be furious about this. Very furious. I still believe we will get off and be healthy. I have to keep hoping. Thank you for letting me rant. I will be a part of this group, because I will be holding and not rushing this at all. Too much suffering already.

What were your symptoms? This is something I’m looking at right now and I have all the symptoms for ovarian cancer but I don’t know if I have it or not I’m waiting for the tests. And I’m just kind of wondering what your symptoms were that made your doctor think this? Was it just a cyst or watt? Thank you hope you’re still here.

Good morning LHSG Rode l don't think she has been active for a while l don't really remember her to be honest.Have you sent her a pm?, When are your tests scheduled for?Try to hang on until you see what the results are.Thinking of you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

This is a very quick visit l think it has been quiet enough on here l really hope that is a good sign.Twiny you are doing really well honey l think you have found the best distraction possible.l know you will have your little grandson soon and he will fill your day.This takes as long as it takes and we deal with it the best we can.You have accepted that and that really is the best way to deal with withdrawal.l know it ain't ever easy however l for one am not going to kill myself getting off a damn drug.l have responsibilities regardless of tapering so l will do what l have to do to keep on my feet.All the same this end have travelled back to county Donegal and we are in a hotel for the last week.It is beautiful and the puppers are being spoilt rotten.Will be back home next week and back to work 😵.l don't know when l will be able to post again so hang in there honey.Give the fam hugs from their favourite Auntie.love you my lST X

. Morning JWL how are you now honey feeling any better?l hope you are looking after yourself and spending time in your garden.l know when you are worried about your child it is overwhelming however l think you are guiding her in the right direction.l must say she does need to get help with her problems l think that will help her more than anything else.Love you.X

Morning Jasmine perhaps don't use the melatonin at this time.l think at least 6 months or l would go as far as to say a year before you consider tapering.l think not just for your sake but your family as well.Love you.X

Morning Troch awe pet bruised ribs been there done that so damn painful.l would hope you are beginning to get a little more ease as time passes.Keep up the cycling it really is great for the mind as well as the body.love you.X

Morning Val that was a great post honey and l am so happy to see you were able to exercise.l know it is never easy when you're in pain however l think we must sometimes push ourselves.l am glad you are still holding honey.love you.X

. Morning Suzy are you feeling any better my lovely?l hope your withdrawal symptoms have settled down some? love you.X

Morning Kit, Ginger Meems Esperanza NJ GP Olive Gilly Valley Free Lady Mary Intend Nova Final Bill and everyone here sending you my love.X

 

[[bo...]]

im going though ovulation and i feel so weak and emotional, also I had to get a letter from from the phyc. I see and it was heartbreaking to see  that he wrote I have psychosomatic  tendencies, wth?

I had to go with my sister and she respects drs.  we don't really see eye to eye...  I have almost no one to talk to,  I couldn't sleep thinking about this insanity and lack of support. how much crap can a person deal with :'(

hope you are all hanging on

[[Tr...]]

Hello Stut 

 

Hope your holiday is doing you a lot of good.

 

My ankle and rib are improving since yesterday. 

Biking daily, some 20 km. Really enjoying it!

Walking 15 minutes in the evening. Feet still painful.

 

Enjoy yourself!

 

 

[[...]]

I still get high from my dose so I guess this is a good sign that I have not reached tolerance yet.

 

Judging by your reaction to MSG I think you're still in tolerance. That is your receptors have not fully up-regulated which I read may take years. So to say you're going to reach tolerance again doesn't seem to make sense.

[[...]]

Morning Stut. I'm feeling much better and I think I'm pulling out of the mini wave I was in. It was mostly gut pain and a little insomnia and brain fog. I held all this time so I think it helped.

 

My daughter is excited and hopeful of the treatments she's going to have. She's going to AA every night.

[[Me...]]

Ladies, my period is due in 2 days and I feel just horrible. I’m losing weight due to nausea, I’m fatigued, depressed, and my anxiety is really bad again. I was getting a handle on it with positive thinking and was sleeping fairly ok (1 hour increments), but I can’t get it to calm down now. Heart is racing all night and constant anxiety. I’m scared to sleep again because of the anxiety, which of course leads to more anxiety at night & not sleeping.

 

Was this how it was for you early on? I’m 7 weeks into this and feel like I’ve slipped way back this week. Have you found that it’s gotten better for you with time?

[[...]]

Where is everyone? No news is good news? I'm over my wave so I'm starting my taper again. I'm at .90 mg. Sigh, this is going to take forever

[[va...]]

 

 

Congrats Jwl! I'm too busy to check in lately, and also I really see no point as I'm always feeling the same. I'm sure you'll do great as you're starting your taper from a stable place.

 

[[tr...]]

Melanie: I did have month where it wasn't so severe, so I'm hoping that it happens again (or better!).

I've said this before but I'll say it again...the original members of this support thread are no longer around on BB - so thats a pretty good sign of hope

 

Bonty: Is your doctor male? I feel like even a female doc would just say you had hormonal fluctuations over psychosomatic tendencies. So even if they don't want to acknowledge the benzo effects, at least "hormones" is plausible. I mean theres a ton of evidence out there for that. I'm so sorry. One of the hardest things in all this is the lack of validation for what we are going through.

You're not alone on here. WE know what it is.

[[va...]]

Stutt I missed your post this morning but just saw it. Thanks for remembering us. I hope you enjoy your week at a hotel, nice! The puppies must be so excited with all these changes and all the company. I'm sorry you haven't found any surfers yet. Maybe you should place a complaint at the hotel. Well I'm the same so no cutting, but I'm really not happy about it because I fear staying on the drug and being cut off by circumstances like losing your pills if you travel and not being able to get more, being hospitalized, etc. I hope the return to work is not too traumatic Stutt. Be strong. Things are getting real tough in my psychiatrists hospital, but it depends on the city and on the hospital. But things are getting real bad. I wouldn't be surprised that they get worse than march after talking to doctors here. There aren't enough drs and nurses and there isn't money to hire them. I'll try not to get sick but my daughter is going to school so who knows. Fingers crossed for all of us 🤞🤞🤞🤞

[[...]]

I can see why health care professionals are avoiding hospitals. There aren't enough PPEs. What a shame and what a mess.

 

I think you're right V, it doesn't seem to be slowing down.

 

I haven't seen my Mom in almost a year (Oct).

[[va...]]

I can see why health care professionals are avoiding hospitals. There aren't enough PPEs. What a shame and what a mess.

 

I think you're right V, it doesn't seem to be slowing down.

 

I haven't seen my Mom in almost a year (Oct).

 

How so Jwl? Is she in a home and has to avoid visitors for fear of covid you mean? I'm so glad your daughter is motivated and going to aa every day. I'm glad you found some huge veggies growing when you came back from her. Your garden sure gives you joy. I feel this last mg of Valium will not be too hard if you don't force the speed. My 2.10 though... I'm totally brain damaged. No idea if I'll ever be stable enough to taper again. If only there wasn't so much stress... But such is life.