The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, I can relate to how you feel. I believe it is totally withdrawal. It is not who you are. Or will be. It just feels so awful. Believe me, I know these feelings well. The benzo is just doing everything it can to get you to take more. It doesn’t realize it has already lost that battle. In time, it will. Benzos fooled us for a long time, but we found them out. I don’t know how to make your feelings stop, but I sure can tell you they are normal. Love, Espy

Oh my God E I'm subbing right now.. I can't believe what this drug has done to me. Thank you for being here and being my friend, you and all our other buddies here.. No one in my world understands this and I guess in a way that includes me

 

Maybe being sick too has got me feeling even more fragile, I don't know..I just don't know 😭😭

I have a day or so a week when I feel very vulnerable and just makes everything worse.  We are strong women, we will get through this.  Patience, acceptance, and time.  I have been trying to be accepting of this pain.  It is not easy

You're a warrior Mary and a very sympathetic, kind caring one. And I said it before and I'll say it again, you handle your pain like a boss. I'm not as brave or as strong as you but I am a survivor. I've been doing it my whole life and ya know what it's getting exhausting trying to survive everyday. I think it's ok for us all to say were tired, so today not so good I'm taking my battle fatigues off and allowing the mental anguish to flow..a few good cry's is sometimes needed. A little pity party here and there is ok, so if you want to cry about your pain let it flow girlfriend, you have every right to and you've earned every battle scar , you fight hard. We're in these trenches together..

 

Sometimes we find our strength when we are weak me thinks 🤔

I have to be careful crying, it can start a damn migraine.  I really have to cry to let myself, and then I just cut loose 

Ok but allow yourself a few tears now and then

[[Tr...]]

Hi intend,

It's been a rough day for me and the ladies here were doing what they do best.. Circle the wagons as Mary says.

 

How are you and Dan?

[[In...]]

Hey Intend, how are you doing today my buddy  :smitten:

 

Mary, I’m reading along here. You guys all seem to be panicked.

 

This is all related to benzo withdrawl. No doubt in my mind.

 

I am not panicked, just hurt worse from carrying those mattresses in like a dumb a$$

But Trishy and Esperanza have dp/dr and are just so down.  Yes, it's all benzo, I'm sure too.  I will hurt in different places tomorrow but it hasn't been as bad this afternoon as it was this morning.  How are you doing?

 

Yesterday worked out really well and I felt great, but today I’m in pain also. In fact I’m always in pain. It never goes away.

 

So far, my throat doesn’t bother me as much, but I have a new one.

 

I got hit in the face hard when my oldest granddaughter was 8 months old. She was on my lap and she leaned forward. I reached forward to steady her, and she swung back and hit me like a sledgehammer on the left side of my face.

 

As a result of that, she damaged my trigeminal nerve on that left side. Dental pain is a common withdrawl sx, but this is not ordinary dental pain. My whole left side is involved-My eye, my gums and where they connect to the teeth, and my lower jaw.

 

This is called trigeminal neuralgia or tic dolereaux.

 

We are not rewarded (I don’t think) for being decent people. We just get snared in this trap that is a benzo, and must go through the difficulty of trying to get off this bastard.

 

I don’t cry much at all and never have. But if I do, it just seems to make my eye pain worse.

 

[[Tr...]]

Good night everyone, ladies thank you for the awesome support as usual.

 

Hoping for a better tomorrow..

Love you all,

Trish ❤️

[[Ma...]]

Hey Intend, how are you doing today my buddy  :smitten:

 

Mary, I’m reading along here. You guys all seem to be panicked.

 

This is all related to benzo withdrawl. No doubt in my mind.

 

I am not panicked, just hurt worse from carrying those mattresses in like a dumb a$$

But Trishy and Esperanza have dp/dr and are just so down.  Yes, it's all benzo, I'm sure too.  I will hurt in different places tomorrow but it hasn't been as bad this afternoon as it was this morning.  How are you doing?

 

Yesterday worked out really well and I felt great, but today I’m in pain also. In fact I’m always in pain. It never goes away.

 

So far, my throat doesn’t bother me as much, but I have a new one.

 

I got hit in the face hard when my oldest granddaughter was 8 months old. She was on my lap and she leaned forward. I reached forward to steady her, and she swung back and hit me like a sledgehammer on the left side of my face.

 

As a result of that, she damaged my trigeminal nerve on that left side. Dental pain is a common withdrawl sx, but this is not ordinary dental pain. My whole left side is involved-My eye, my gums and where they connect to the teeth, and my lower jaw.

 

This is called trigeminal neuralgia or tic 

We are not rewarded (I don’t think) for being decent people. We just get snared in this trap that is a benzo, and must go through the difficulty of trying to get off this bastard.

 

I don’t cry much at all and never have. But if I do, it just seems to make my eye pain worse.

Me either, I get a migraine.  We are all a benzo mess....but we are strong...I believe that..love you all, Mary.  💪🤙.    🌸🍀🌺☘️🌹🍀🌻.    Hope we all sleep good, especially since Tim is out of town

[[In...]]

Hey Intend, how are you doing today my buddy  :smitten:

 

Mary, I’m reading along here. You guys all seem to be panicked.

 

This is all related to benzo withdrawl. No doubt in my mind.

 

I am not panicked, just hurt worse from carrying those mattresses in like a dumb a$$

But Trishy and Esperanza have dp/dr and are just so down.  Yes, it's all benzo, I'm sure too.  I will hurt in different places tomorrow but it hasn't been as bad this afternoon as it was this morning.  How are you doing?

 

Yesterday worked out really well and I felt great, but today I’m in pain also. In fact I’m always in pain. It never goes away.

 

So far, my throat doesn’t bother me as much, but I have a new one.

 

I got hit in the face hard when my oldest granddaughter was 8 months old. She was on my lap and she leaned forward. I reached forward to steady her, and she swung back and hit me like a sledgehammer on the left side of my face.

 

As a result of that, she damaged my trigeminal nerve on that left side. Dental pain is a common withdrawl sx, but this is not ordinary dental pain. My whole left side is involved-My eye, my gums and where they connect to the teeth, and my lower jaw.

 

This is called trigeminal neuralgia or tic 

We are not rewarded (I don’t think) for being decent people. We just get snared in this trap that is a benzo, and must go through the difficulty of trying to get off this bastard.

 

I don’t cry much at all and never have. But if I do, it just seems to make my eye pain worse.

Me either, I get a migraine.  We are all a benzo mess....but we are strong...I believe that..love you all, Mary.  💪🤙.    🌸🍀🌺☘️🌹🍀🌻.    Hope we all sleep good, especially since Tim is out of town

 

Mary,

 

It was a mistake as you know to pull those mattresses on your own.

 

I bought a bigger than usual bag of cat food, and this morning I had to fill the container I keep it in.

 

So I went to grab the bag, and I couldn’t even lift it. When Dan got up, he picked it right up and filled the container with no trouble at all. I thought, I’m not adding to any problems I already have.

 

Gads, another busy day tomorrow,

[[Ca...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Can't  :). Yes pulling the mattresses was pretty dumb, I must admit.  Glad you had a good time and you sound good.  Welcome back

[[Ca...]]

Hi Can't  :). Yes pulling the mattresses was pretty dumb, I must admit.  Glad you had a good time and you sound good.  Welcome back

Hey Mary M...

We all do these things, -well I sure do... Dont let it get you down, You will bounce back... Its the same "can do" attitude that has gotten you this far, and will see you through..

 

I hope today is better..

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

[[Ma...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

 

Hey you, are you feeling any better this morning?  Can't is so knowledgeable, wise and accepting, but he had to learn all that as he progressed, but reading his post is always calming, I agree.  As I get closer to 10, the more I read .  Time frame is not important to me, how I feel during that time is, so I read, trying to learn.  Do you know someone else on the board tapering xanax?

[[Tr...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

 

Hey you, are you feeling any better this morning?  Can't is so knowledgeable, wise and accepting, but he had to learn all that as he progressed, but reading his post is always calming, I agree.  As I get closer to 10, the more I read .  Time frame is not important to me, how I feel during that time is, so I read, trying to learn.  Do you know someone else on the board tapering xanax?

 

No the only one I knew was SS and she's not here anymore so I'm the lone Wolf here. Did you see my post to you about what I did this morning 🤪.. Go read it, yikes!

[[Ma...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

 

It is okay, you just go right back to normal dosing tomorrow.  Remember when you went on your trip.  Weren't you just fine then?  I guarantee we all do that more than once over the life of our tapers . You will probably feel better today anyway

[[Tr...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

 

It is okay, you just go right back to normal dosing tomorrow.  Remember when you went on your trip.  Weren't you just fine then?  I guarantee we all do that more than once over the life of our tapers . You will probably feel better today anyway

Yes your right I did do that for my trip I was just thinking about that and I went right back to normal no problems..uhgg that's what I get for not being mindful of what I was doing

 

Feeling better today, residual cough but I think I'll attempt work tomorrow.

 

Hope are you with your pain? Any better?

 

❤️💞💞

[[Tr...]]

So Mary tell me what is the equivalent to what you take now in Valium to what dosage I'm on with Xanax?

[[Ma...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

 

It is okay, you just go right back to normal dosing tomorrow.  Remember when you went on your trip.  Weren't you just fine then?  I guarantee we all do that more than once over the life of our tapers . You will probably feel better today anyway

Yes your right I did do that for my trip I was just thinking about that and I went right back to normal no problems..uhgg that's what I get for not being mindful of what I was doing

 

Feeling better today, residual cough but I think I'll attempt work tomorrow.

 

Hope are you with your pain? Any better?

 

❤️💞💞

 

I think some, well I know some  . Far from perfect but better and Tim should be home by 3:00 😊

I think you need to ask a question on the new topic board, looking for some that are tapering xanax , so you can read their signature, especially people that are doing ok.  If you see it's going to a rough taper, read it anyway and know everyone is different, but you might find information to help you.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

Probs the best way I can respond to that is that it could go either way, but if symptoms are increasing and one adjusts to suit as per those symptoms and their levels, then there is a high chance the results will reflect those changes... Thats why im anti end dates and set rates...

Its a bit more complex, because there will be some SX, -perhaps long, mid, and short term.. Short term being more volitile... The aim being to find what you can handle and maintain...

 

My good times were when my body caught up and started to get on top of things.. At low dose 0.25V it started to clear things, and my long or deep SX started to improve, but new things showed up, things that are well known to be horrific, but at that dose my body coped and I got a taste only... I assume faster taperers would get this as post accute..

I tried to keep my body out of a shocked or stressed state, and I feel it healed better for it...

Im not so sure this is as possible to the same degree at higher doses, with more meds in ones system, but it kinda works both ways, -on higher doses there is more med to buffer the shock and things like holds might work quicker...  Gosh, Im not putting this well at all..

 

I guess as I got lower, I gave the volitile SX more time, and the deeper SX started to improve too...

I could see that my body could heal, that it wasnt going to be a huge struggle to get basic human emotions back, and I shouldnt judge the battle ahead by todays standards... I lost it again with the lyrica taper and what not, but my body is responding and healing faster now too... So I know im not too far ahead of myself...

There are exceptions to this, as with everything, and some have issues to contend with that arent so well managed by taper speed and holding alone...  These people may have to push on to an extent..

But if you improve with holds, things are looking good..!! -Just dont push through exessive symptoms...

 

Rhetorical question.. Is there any reason to prevent anyone from holding long enough to see just how much better they can get..??

I guess I kinda overheld a little at the end in preperation for the next cut.. But it was all over before I got good at it...  And I added a med when I should have held instead... It is hard to go slow when we know these meds are crap...

 

Trish, try not to compare others tapers and speeds to your own, In this respect they dont mean much...

Trust your own Symptom Profile and history... -You will do fine..!! -and im not saying that lightly.. Yes its a battle, but you will get there...

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

So Mary tell me what is the equivalent to what you take now in Valium to what dosage I'm on with Xanax?

 

.25 x= 5 v

1.25 x = 25 v

10.36 v = around  .55 x.  Close to that anyway

Close to the end of May, as long as nothing happens, I will be in the 9's. Which will be a big milestone for me, I screwed up so many times over the last 2 years. 

[[Ca...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

Yes, just go back to normal dosing.. How you respond to the extra might give you handy info..?? -or you may not notice..??

Certainally dont worry about it...

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

Probs the best way I can respond to that is that it could go either way, but if symptoms are increasing and one adjusts to suit as per those symptoms and their levels, then there is a high chance the results will reflect those changes... Thats why im anti end dates and set rates...

Its a bit more complex, because there will be some SX, -perhaps long, mid, and short term.. Short term being more volitile... The aim being to find what you can handle and maintain...

 

My good times were when my body caught up and started to get on top of things.. At low dose 0.25V it started to clear things, and my long or deep SX started to improve, but new things showed up, things that are well known to be horrific, but at that dose my body coped and I got a taste only... I assume faster taperers would get this as post accute..

I tried to keep my body out of a shocked or stressed state, and I feel it healed better for it...

Im not so sure this is as possible to the same degree at higher doses, with more meds in ones system, but it kinda works both ways, -on higher doses there is more med to buffer the shock and things like holds might work quicker...  Gosh, Im not putting this well at all..

 

I guess as I got lower, I gave the volitile SX more time, and the deeper SX started to improve too...

I could see that my body could heal, that it wasnt going to be a huge struggle to get basic human emotions back, and I shouldnt judge the battle ahead by todays standards... I lost it again with the lyrica taper and what not, but my body is responding and healing faster now too... So I know im not too far ahead of myself...

There are exceptions to this, as with everything, and some have issues to contend with that arent so well managed by taper speed and holding alone...  These people may have to push on to an extent..

But if you improve with holds, things are looking good..!! -Just dont push through exessive symptoms...

 

Rhetorical question.. Is there any reason to prevent anyone from holding long enough to see just how much better they can get..??

I guess I kinda overheld a little at the end in preperation for the next cut.. But it was all over before I got good at it...  And I added a med when I should have held instead... It is hard to go slow when we know these meds are crap...

 

Trish, try not to compare others tapers and speeds to your own, In this respect they dont mean much...

Trust your own Symptom Profile and history... -You will do fine..!! -and im not saying that lightly.. Yes its a battle, but you will get there...

 

Can't, I have a question, since my main sxs is muscle pain and I pretty much have it all the time, it's hard for me to monitor my sxs, do you understand my question?

[[Tr...]]

Hi Ladies...

 

Am home now, and just relaxing a bit.. 

 

Sounds like there is plenty of WD going on here for some... Trish it is all pretty common, as mentioned... These were/are my deeper type symptoms... Plus there is also some situational reality to it, more for some than others, but often we dont fit in so well because we ARE dealing with WD, and dont function with joy and spontaneity at the fore front.. But also there is just the plain WD aspects of struggling neuro chemistry... Thus it will get better, and it has for me at the better parts of my tapers..

Can be pretty daunting though, -looking to a future from a position of WD... It sure takes some faith, but understanding it for what it is can be a big help too...

-Not to mention that you must be feeling totally rotten right now to top it off.. So dont let the big picture bog you down atm...

Get well, -you got this...

 

Hello spy, thank you for the input,  I appreciate your words and value the support. All that you've said above has helped me put things back into perspective. I would like to hear more on the " better part of your tapers" though if you don't mind. I think I need some hope here. I think my eyes are truly being opened for the first time since the journey began to the actual damage this drug has caused me. All the years of misery it caused me, robbing me of real peace and joy, hiding in plain sight, is mind boggling. So I guess what I want to know is does it get better the lower you go in dosage or does it get tougher? I realize everyone is different but I wonder how hard or to better put it I don't want to be blindsided by this drug, I want to know what's in store the lower I go. What should I expect in other words as I continue on? Maybe it's not answerable but if you can tell me your experience going lower that might help.

 

I'm glad you're home and I hope you enjoyed your time away.

 

L word spy,

Trish ❤️

Probs the best way I can respond to that is that it could go either way, but if symptoms are increasing and one adjusts to suit as per those symptoms and their levels, then there is a high chance the results will reflect those changes... Thats why im anti end dates and set rates...

Its a bit more complex, because there will be some SX, -perhaps long, mid, and short term.. Short term being more volitile... The aim being to find what you can handle and maintain...

 

My good times were when my body caught up and started to get on top of things.. At low dose 0.25V it started to clear things, and my long or deep SX started to improve, but new things showed up, things that are well known to be horrific, but at that dose my body coped and I got a taste only... I assume faster taperers would get this as post accute..

I tried to keep my body out of a shocked or stressed state, and I feel it healed better for it...

Im not so sure this is as possible to the same degree at higher doses, with more meds in ones system, but it kinda works both ways, -on higher doses there is more med to buffer the shock and things like holds might work quicker...  Gosh, Im not putting this well at all..

 

I guess as I got lower, I gave the volitile SX more time, and the deeper SX started to improve too...

I could see that my body could heal, that it wasnt going to be a huge struggle to get basic human emotions back, and I shouldnt judge the battle ahead by todays standards... I lost it again with the lyrica taper and what not, but my body is responding and healing faster now too... So I know im not too far ahead of myself...

There are exceptions to this, as with everything, and some have issues to contend with that arent so well managed by taper speed and holding alone...  These people may have to push on to an extent..

But if you improve with holds, things are looking good..!! -Just dont push through exessive symptoms...

 

Rhetorical question.. Is there any reason to prevent anyone from holding long enough to see just how much better they can get..??

I guess I kinda overheld a little at the end in preperation for the next cut.. But it was all over before I got good at it...  And I added a med when I should have held instead... It is hard to go slow when we know these meds are crap...

 

Trish, try not to compare others tapers and speeds to your own, In this respect they dont mean much...

Trust your own Symptom Profile and history... -You will do fine..!! -and im not saying that lightly.. Yes its a battle, but you will get there...

Thank you spy for your response, you touched on some key points for me, and the last two paragraphs nailed it home for me. Thank you my dear friend. I screen shot what you said in both posts to me so I can refer back.

 

Again, thank you for your knowledge, and being a voice of encouragement and wisdom.

 

 

Trish

❤️💞💞

 

[[Tr...]]

Thanks Mary, I also screen shot the equivalencies bc I always wonder where I am in respect to Valium. Since I'm the odd ball and the only one tapering Xanax.

 

So I'm not going to focus on the time it takes, I'm going to focus on getting off safely and as painlessly as possible. I have a few things in going to put into play. First I'm going to journal sx symtoms the next time I taper down so I can track it and look for a pattern. Also as soon as I'm better I'm going back to my therapist to help with coping, I had an appt as you know that had to be cancelled bc I got sick. I think having a plan in place gives some sense of control in this and I really need to get like in control of this wd and it not being in control of me if that makes sense.

 

Love you girl,

Trish

[[Tr...]]

Mary, are you there? I just did a dumb ass thing, I'm losing my mind!! I take 5 xanax pills a day. I take one . 25 mg pill in the morning another . 25 in the afternoon and 3 . 25 pills at night to total 1. 25 mgs.  So I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I looked at the clock and saw it was time for morning dose so I reached into my purse pulled out the pills and swallowed 3 of them! I took my nighttime dose instead of my morning dose!! Please tell me that one off is ok, bc I'm ready to go jump off the nearest bridge :tickedoff:

Yes, just go back to normal dosing.. How you respond to the extra might give you handy info..?? -or you may not notice..??

Certainally dont worry about it...

Uhggg..I can't believe I did that. I actually feel a tad bit drowsy but that's it besides a dry cotton mouth feeling 😜 I know I'll be ok, it was just the initial panic type feeling and mostly disbelief that I could be so absent minded with taking the wrong dosage

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Mary, I also screen shot the equivalencies bc I always wonder where I am in respect to Valium. Since I'm the odd ball and the only one tapering Xanax.

 

So I'm not going to focus on the time it takes, I'm going to focus on getting off safely and as painlessly as possible. I have a few things in going to put into play. First I'm going to journal sx symtoms the next time I taper down so I can track it and look for a pattern. Also as soon as I'm better I'm going back to my therapist to help with coping, I had an appt as you know that had to be cancelled bc I got sick. I think having a plan in place gives some sense of control in this and I really need to get like in control of this wd and it not being in control of me if that makes sense.

 

Love you girl,

Trish

 

It makes great sense, I believe the more you know, the better chance you have of getting through this as easy as possible.  I didn't mean for you to follow anyone else's taper, I just wanted you to see the different ways people handle their taper and anything you might learn from that for yourself.  What you find that might be something you think sounds like a good idea for you.