The Long Hold Support Group

[[es...]]

Oh, Chin, I know you are suffering. I do not have the knowledge to advise you on tapers. Your meds are different than mine. I will try to get some help for you. I am not doing well enough myself, to be able to tell anyone I have the answer for this. I am going on blind faith that I am doing the best thing for myself. All I can offer is empathy. Love, Espy

[[ch...]]

Gilly

 

I have not held perhaps I should have. I have been  hovering around the 2mg mark for ages, trying the RX liquid, first with no cuts. Then chipping a bit away , but thought better of it as I could not make the cut consistent or small enough. I am using water titration which I know is not greatly approved of here, but I cannot touch alcohol. and I react to milk. I know that water makes a suspension and not a solution but I did agitate it well and took off the discard straight away, and drank the rinse water from the glasses. But no I did not hold. Maybe that is where I went wrong. I am getting so disheartened as time is going  by and I started as a short term user when I tried tapering, Now it's a year and still got to get rid of 2mgs that I can't seem to budgeI feel like stopping the lot, but I know that would not help at all. I will never understand why my Doctor prescribed this for me a year ago when I was almost 73. I am so very upset. and my sister is insistant that 2mgs should not give anyone the symptoms I have, that is all my anxiety. She wont have it otherwise.

 

I fear this is me now written off at my age. I don't have the years left for a long recoverery.

 

Crying  sorry don't know what to do I am so tired and ill and in terror, and I have nowhere to turn but here.

 

 

 

[[ch...]]

Esperenza

It really does not matter if you don't have answers. It's the kindness shown that you care. I am so worried, frightened and upset. I am just to old for this, I don't know why the Doctor prescribed Valium last year to someone my age and without proper warnings in fact the opposite.

 

I can't keep living like this. I have to get rid of the Valium but am terrified of what will happen then. I don't want to end my life this way .

[[4G...]]

Oh, Sweetheart, it's okay to cry! Sometimes it's downright necessary.

 

Perhaps your sister means well, but everybody is different. Remember that your body still has to recover when you reach zero. So just be civil with your sister and then take no notice. I wouldn't argue with her. She probably wouldn't change her mind and you can do without the stress. Just come back on here if you need support.

 

I would go back to 2mg for about a week so that your body can get used to the liquid. Then cut tiny amounts. I'm sure there is something else you can use to make up your solution but I can't remember what it's called. Someone on here will know....

 

Big Hugs xxx

[[ch...]]

I might have to give the rx liquid another try as I have used it before, but not micro tapering it. I was cutting .1mg every 2 weeks. That is how I got down from 4mgs to 2mgs, but it was a very rough journey. I held giving myself a break and then thought it might be best to try micro tapering. I think there is something else polyethylene glycol or something like that. but I am not sure it will be any different. It may be that I did not give my body a chance to adjust to a new way of cutting. I just want to get off Valium as it is ruining my health and my life, what little time I have left.

 

Have you used micro tapering and if so what do use to make the solution?

[[Ma...]]

Gilly

 

I have not held perhaps I should have. I have been  hovering around the 2mg mark for ages, trying the RX liquid, first with no cuts. Then chipping a bit away , but thought better of it as I could not make the cut consistent or small enough. I am using water titration which I know is not greatly approved of here, but I cannot touch alcohol. and I react to milk. I know that water makes a suspension and not a solution but I did agitate it well and took off the discard straight away, and drank the rinse water from the glasses. But no I did not hold. Maybe that is where I went wrong. I am getting so disheartened as time is going  by and I started as a short term user when I tried tapering, Now it's a year and still got to get rid of 2mgs that I can't seem to budgeI feel like stopping the lot, but I know that would not help at all. I will never understand why my Doctor prescribed this for me a year ago when I was almost 73. I am so very upset. and my sister is insistant that 2mgs should not give anyone the symptoms I have, that is all my anxiety. She wont have it otherwise.

 

I fear this is me now written off at my age. I don't have the years left for a long recoverery.

 

Crying  sorry don't know what to do I am so tired and ill and in terror, and I have nowhere to turn but here.

 

I am so sorry for you Chin, you have made some progress this year, but the Dr has put you on and taken you off the same meds so many times and your Valium dose has just been all over the place...

I know you are scared , I wish I could take that away.  That fear is causing you to keep changing how you try to withdraw.  You shouldn't use water but you know that.  You see how little water it takes.  Is there a reason you can't use alcohol?  Other than you just don't want to? If it's the taste, once you make it, you can add juice or something to make it taste better.  It's hard for me to understand your signature.  Was the rx liquid the kind from the drug store?  Did you use it?  And when you were cutting how long did you do that?  Sorry for the questions, I just really want to understand 

[[ch...]]

Thank you so much for replying Mary.

The liquid I used was a prescribed Valium or as it is called here on the bottle. diazepam. I used 1.25mls at a time to taper with , which is equivalent to .5mg of diazepam. I dropped down .25mls every 2 weeks or so till gone then another 2 week in total taking 60 days to drop .5mg diazepam. Then I would cut another 125mls the same way, I did this down to 2mgs. I then had trouble getting more prescribed and had to wait whilst it was argued out between the Doctor and the psychiatrist. When I got a new bottle I thought I would use it to try a daily micro taper and so diluted 250mls in water up to 100ml , but did not drop the dose . However after a couple of days I felt nausea which I had lost for a while, and an increase if that is even possible of my fear and terror I feel from waking until perhaps 10pm at night. so I thought my body must not longer accept it and got used to just the tablets, though I am not well at all on any. It has always made me ill and anxious, never controlled my anxiety symptoms from the beginning except one time when I took 5mgs , for a week,  but not since. 

I then thought I might cut the tablet down but my scales are useless and the pills kept weighing different amounts, each time I put it on the scale so I gave that up. Then I tried the water with a lot of agitation and it seemed ok, but only on the first day, Now I am terrible, I am always terrible but worse than terrible I am desperate and frozen in fear. and horror.

The reason I wont use alcohol is because I had a problem with it almost 5 years ago and stopped with difficulty but managed to do it on my own. I cannot drink alcohol now. I dare not risk it.

So I am stuck on how to get off Valium and am terrified that how I am will be even worse when off, especially after the alcohol problem those years back. My Doctor knew of this yet still prescribed to someone in the their 70's last year. I did not know they both hit the gaba receptors, It was a long time in my past and trusted my Doctor ,Now I am in torment and don't know the way out. I  should not stay on this drug at my age, I should not even have been put on it. Now I think this is my end. I am so scared  and upset.  I am afraid this is the end of my life as I don't have years to heal as other have.

 

If you can help I would be so grateful

 

Jen 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you so much for replying Mary.

The liquid I used was a prescribed Valium or as it is called here on the bottle. diazepam. I used 1.25mls at a time to taper with , which is equivalent to .5mg of diazepam. I dropped down .25mls every 2 weeks or so till gone then another 2 week in total taking 60 days to drop .5mg diazepam. Then I would cut another 125mls the same way, I did this down to 2mgs. I then had trouble getting more prescribed and had to wait whilst it was argued out between the Doctor and the psychiatrist. When I got a new bottle I thought I would use it to try a daily micro taper and so diluted 250mls in water up to 100ml , but did not drop the dose . However after a couple of days I felt nausea which I had lost for a while, and an increase if that is even possible of my fear and terror I feel from waking until perhaps 10pm at night. so I thought my body must not longer accept it and got used to just the tablets, though I am not well at all on any. It has always made me ill and anxious, never controlled my anxiety symptoms from the beginning except one time when I took 5mgs , for a week,  but not since. 

I then thought I might cut the tablet down but my scales are useless and the pills kept weighing different amounts, each time I put it on the scale so I gave that up. Then I tried the water with a lot of agitation and it seemed ok, but only on the first day, Now I am terrible, I am always terrible but worse than terrible I am desperate and frozen in fear. and horror.

The reason I wont use alcohol is because I had a problem with it almost 5 years ago and stopped with difficulty but managed to do it on my own. I cannot drink alcohol now. I dare not risk it.

So I am stuck on how to get off Valium and am terrified that how I am will be even worse when off, especially after the alcohol problem those years back. My Doctor knew of this yet still prescribed to someone in the their 70's last year. I did not know they both hit the gaba receptors, It was a long time in my past and trusted my Doctor ,Now I am in torment and don't know the way out. I  should not stay on this drug at my age, I should not even have been put on it. Now I think this is my end. I am so scared  and upset.  I am afraid this is the end of my life as I don't have years to heal as other have.

 

If you can help I would be so grateful

 

Jen

Would you be willing to use the rx again at a very low dose, if we can figure out what that dose is?

[[ch...]]

Yes I think I would Mary. I cannot see another way forward. I think I might have to go back to 2mgs yet again, which is not good in any way, but best to do that, then work out the best plan using the prescribed liquid, perhaps using the smallest amount and the rest in tablet form.

I realise the water method is not accurate in that it makes a suspension and you cannot tell therefore how much you Valium you are removing with the syringe as each ml could contain a large amount of the Valium or none at all. There are the other factors in that  I am not used to daily  liquid titration  and from all I have read it is best to hold the dose for a short while before tapering. It's just this drug is so bad for me so I am trying to weigh up which is the better of the two evils, Tapering slowly with perhaps reduced side effects? Maybe. Or faster and getting off the drug but perhaps suffering more of for longer afterwards, However there are no guarantees either way. I know for many Valium has been useful to them up to a point where for whatever reason they have decided to come off, For me it has not done that. I have had no benefit, just suffering and hence my desperate need to remove something that is making me so ill. but at the same time I am now dependant on. I would be so so grateful for any help and guidance. I  feel so lost tonight. it is no way to spend your older age, and so wrong that I was put in this position. then left to deal with it by myself  trapped in my bedroom by fear and terror. I want to have some life before I go, but now I doubt I will. and I need hope, sorry crying again.  so sorry

[[Ma...]]

Yes I think I would Mary. I cannot see another way forward. I think I might have to go back to 2mgs yet again, which is not good in any way, but best to do that, then work out the best plan using the prescribed liquid, perhaps using the smallest amount and the rest in tablet form.

I realise the water method is not accurate in that it makes a suspension and you cannot tell therefore how much you Valium you are removing with the syringe as each ml could contain a large amount of the Valium or none at all. There are the other factors in that  I am not used to daily  liquid titration  and from all I have read it is best to hold the dose for a short while before tapering. It's just this drug is so bad for me so I am trying to weigh up which is the better of the two evils, Tapering slowly with perhaps reduced side effects? Maybe. Or faster and getting off the drug but perhaps suffering more of for longer afterwards, However there are no guarantees either way. I know for many Valium has been useful to them up to a point where for whatever reason they have decided to come off, For me it has not done that. I have had no benefit, just suffering and hence my desperate need to remove something that is making me so ill. but at the same time I am now dependant on. I would be so so grateful for any help and guidance. I  feel so lost tonight. it is no way to spend your older age, and so wrong that I was put in this position. then left to deal with it by myself  trapped in my bedroom by fear and terror. I want to have some life before I go, but now I doubt I will. and I need hope, sorry crying again.  so sorry

l am so so sorry for all of us, I am in my 60's and I know there are many of us fighting to have more life .  You fight with us okay? 

I want you to go to the titration thread and start a new topic ". Builder I need help with my Rx Liquid Diazapam, please help " that's your topic, then in the post explain to him, you want to go as slow as possible and what would your numbers need to be?  This is how he tapered and knows this stuff very well.  He isn't on every day but most days and he is the best.  Tell him your age and how desperate you are for help.  He will get back to you and that way we can get you on the lowest dose possible.

Now, Chin, I would hold where you are now for awhile, then start down.  Good luck, you can do this.  Remember when you change things over and over you are raising your fear level.  So please try to do this.  I am not an expert but I truly think this may be a good way for you.  Love, Mary. 🌺

[[4G...]]

That's it! The glycol thing! I use vodka. 1ml. It is so tiny that it is irrelevant. Unless you are allergic.

 

Gilly x

[[So...]]

Great advice from Mary.

 

Chin - get Builder to literally build you a taper plan and stick with it. I know you are scared and anxious but the only way off Valium is to taper and it's best not to fear it. I now just take my nightly dose as if I were brushing my teeth - just a part of the nightly routine.

 

The less i think about tapering, the better i feel.

 

You will heal Chin. Don't worry about drinking from years ago - it won't affect your taper. And don't worry about age - plenty of people of all ages have tapered meds and been successful and you will be too!

 

You for this Chin!

[[ch...]]

Thank you Pete,  Gilly and Mary 

I appreciate your kind thoughts.

I will face matters tomorrow, I am so tired now .

It's all a bit too much for me tonight.

 

thanks again

 

Jen

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, where you at girl?  Hope you aren't feeling worse 💜☮️💜☮️💜🙏🙏

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, where you at girl?  Hope you aren't feeling worse 💜☮️💜☮️💜🙏🙏

Hey girl, I'm here I went to work today. I'm feeling much better hardly coughed at all. 😊

 

How goes it around here? I have to do some reading I guess.

 

[[Tr...]]

Chopped Liver, How are you today? Lol!  You know we Love you, Oh Great Purple-Haired One! xxx 💙

 

English!!  You sound so much better girlfriend, how are you?  My back is easing off some after pulling on the mattresses, thank goodness.  Can't said I was dumb :laugh:

Ummm.. -Cant said what..??!!

-Proof please.. -Then you can throw the dungeon key away.. 

Damn, I really wanted the dungeon 🔑, but it was me that called myself dumb and B3 that implied it.  Sorry, I could have sworn it was you just picking on me.  I apologize sir. 

phew.. -Im not going mad... Thanks lol... 

Now the key please...

 

Hope you are improving..

-Quiet night for me...

 

Trish, have a good day, I hope its not a big struggle...

 

Hi to All..

 

Hello spy, I did well at work today, hardly coughed at all, on the mend 😊

 

L word,

Trish ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Hey English loving that Avatar girl!

  :smitten:

 

[[4G...]]

Thanks, Blackpool Betty!  OMMM!

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, where you at girl?  Hope you aren't feeling worse 💜☮️💜☮️💜🙏🙏

Hey girl, I'm here I went to work today. I'm feeling much better hardly coughed at all. 😊

 

How goes it around here? I have to do some reading I guess.

 

 

Pretty busy, everyone I think participated  .  Glad you are feeling better 

[[Tr...]]

Thanks, Blackpool Betty!  OMMM!

:laugh:

[[es...]]

Glad to see you recovering,Trishy! Espy

[[Tr...]]

Glad to see you recovering,Trishy! Espy

Thank you sweet E, I'm so glad to see this on its way out, I have enough to deal with with the benzos, we all do 🤪

[[In...]]

That's it! The glycol thing! I use vodka. 1ml. It is so tiny that it is irrelevant. Unless you are allergic.

 

Gilly x

 

Yes Gilly, you’re right. It’s called PG as in propylene glycol.

 

Builder knows all about this and it can be used in the same proportion as the vodka. 2 ml of PG to 1 mg of diazepam.

 

 

Although I have no idea where one gets it in the UK where Chin lives if I’m correct.

 

Gilly, maybe you know where it can be found.

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, where you at girl?  Hope you aren't feeling worse 💜☮️💜☮️💜🙏🙏

Hey girl, I'm here I went to work today. I'm feeling much better hardly coughed at all. 😊

 

How goes it around here? I have to do some reading I guess.

 

 

Pretty busy, everyone I think participated  .  Glad you are feeling better 

 

I'm so glad to be this is finally on its way out, ruined my whole damn week! How's the muscles girl?

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, where you at girl?  Hope you aren't feeling worse 💜☮️💜☮️💜🙏🙏

Hey girl, I'm here I went to work today. I'm feeling much better hardly coughed at all. 😊

 

How goes it around here? I have to do some reading I guess.

 

 

Pretty busy, everyone I think participated  .  Glad you are feeling better 

 

I'm so glad to be this is finally on its way out, ruined my whole damn week! How's the muscles girl?

a little better, tomorrow going to start exercising again, ugh