LadyDen’s Poetry Cafe

[[La...]]

          THE RIGHT WAY

 

You are going the right way because it is so hard

It’s supposed to be like that thistles and shards

But don’t you worry to the end you will make

Giving up must not be your regretted mistake

You are going the right way for this you can be sure

Your path littered with much struggles to endure

But don’t be like a child in a tantrum overtaken by rage

Be like when in performance, take a calm breath then take the stage!

 

By LadyDen  :smitten:

[[mo...]]

Broken Wings

 

Even with these broken wings

I will still fly to the treetops

Even with my legs so tired

I will walk the miles

 

Even with my hope waning

I won't give up on change

I can still hear the music

still pound a drum

 

My pen still moving

moving here

I will write the words that weep

 

Crush me

Strike me down

I will stand up a little stronger

do you dare to face

the giant in my place

Ohhhhhhh how lovely! Even with a broken wing…FLY! Thank you!

 

 

thank you too

[[be...]]

          THE RIGHT WAY

 

You are going the right way because it is so hard

It’s supposed to be like that thistles and shards

But don’t you worry to the end you will make

Giving up must not be your regretted mistake

You are going the right way for this you can be sure

Your path littered with much struggles to endure

But don’t be like a child in a tantrum overtaken by rage

Be like when in performance, take a calm breath then take the stage!

 

By LadyDen  :smitten:

   

[[Bl...]]

The Trail Ride

 

This trail I am on grows lonely and cold.

It seems like I've been riding for years.

Shrouded in storm clouds that swirl uncontrolled.

I yearn for the day the sun reappears.

 

I make my way through the darkness.

For how long? I truly don't know.

This journey stands out in its starkness.

My progress seems incredibly slow.

 

I go forth, unsure of my ultimate destination.

Just knowing it's essential I stay on track.

To do nothing leaves an impossible situation.

So I forge onward, never once looking back.

 

It is my future that is filled with promise.

Knowing what lies ahead is complete restoration.

It's in that certainty that I can take solace.

That I'll be delivered from this wretched desolation.

 

With hope and a prayer I continue my travels.

Through my faith I'm buoyed and strengthened.

I trust that my savior keeps me upright in the saddle.

Knowing this trail ride will someday soon end.

 

By Blue Lion

[[Be...]]

blue lion, that's a beautiful poem.  It really is.

[[Bl...]]

Thank you so much, Becks. I really appreciate your comments.

 

Blue

[[be...]]

The Trail Ride

 

This trail I am on grows lonely and cold.

It seems like I've been riding for years.

Shrouded in storm clouds that swirl uncontrolled.

I yearn for the day the sun reappears.

 

I make my way through the darkness.

For how long? I truly don't know.

This journey stands out in its starkness.

My progress seems incredibly slow.

 

I go forth, unsure of my ultimate destination.

Just knowing it's essential I stay on track.

To do nothing leaves an impossible situation.

So I forge onward, never once looking back.

 

It is my future that is filled with promise.

Knowing what lies ahead is complete restoration.

It's in that certainty that I can take solace.

That I'll be delivered from this wretched desolation.

 

With hope and a prayer I continue my travels.

Through my faith I'm buoyed and strengthened.

I trust that my savior keeps me upright in the saddle.

Knowing this trail ride will someday soon end.

 

By Blue Lion

   

[[La...]]

The Trail Ride

 

This trail I am on grows lonely and cold.

It seems like I've been riding for years.

Shrouded in storm clouds that swirl uncontrolled.

I yearn for the day the sun reappears.

 

I make my way through the darkness.

For how long? I truly don't know.

This journey stands out in its starkness.

My progress seems incredibly slow.

 

I go forth, unsure of my ultimate destination.

Just knowing it's essential I stay on track.

To do nothing leaves an impossible situation.

So I forge onward, never once looking back.

 

It is my future that is filled with promise.

Knowing what lies ahead is complete restoration.

It's in that certainty that I can take solace.

That I'll be delivered from this wretched desolation.

 

With hope and a prayer I continue my travels.

Through my faith I'm buoyed and strengthened.

I trust that my savior keeps me upright in the saddle.

Knowing this trail ride will someday soon end.

 

By Blue Lion

Lovely and true!

;)

[[Bl...]]

It’s Not War

 

I struggle with an enemy that is relentless.

I've grown weary from battle fatigue.

Worn out by my efforts to end this,

At times, crippled from the constant blitzkrieg.

 

My adversary exists within my own psyche.

As it dredges up dread, doom, and gloom.

A way out doesn't seem very likely.

When I'm fearful of leaving my room.

 

I've spent hours seeking relief from my symptoms.

Researching all my thoughts, feelings, and pain.

I've read the stories of so many other victims.

Yet all my efforts just seem to be in vain.

 

What's become increasingly apparent

is my inability to control what is happening.

Perceptions of reality so aberrant.

My search for understanding is so very baffling.

 

I won't be needing the weapons of the battlefield.

This campaign is not a war to be won.

Discipline and fortitude are my sword and my shield.

Perspective and attitude are my bullets and gun.

 

Framing this journey as combat or a fight,

runs the risk of extending its length.

Any approach conjuring more fear and fright,

leaves me weak and saps all of my strength.

 

Bravery and courage will be deployed, to be sure.

But seeing it as warfare gives my nemesis the advantage.

For this is an experience that I must endure.

It is a process that must be cleverly managed.

 

The key in navigating this hellish ordeal,

is giving my symptoms no quarter.

They will continue to taunt me as I heal.

Engaging them won't make their stay any shorter.

 

My anxiety is all driven by my stress response.

Which is currently in a state of overdrive.

This heightened state in which I'm ensconced,

mustn't consume me if I wish to survive.

 

I remind myself there's no cause for alarm.

It's just neurochemistry that's run amok.

There's no actual risk of permanent harm.

From looping thought patterns that seems to be stuck.

 

So, I accept and tolerate my injury.

And all its accordant symptoms and feelings.

I refrain from focusing on the misery.

And take comfort in the truth that I’m healing.

 

I choose instead to move my life forward.

With whatever normalcy I can accomplish each day.

And I focus on priorities reordered.

Increasing my resilience as I navigate my way.

By Blue Lion

[[No...]]

The Journey

 

By Mary Oliver

 

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

[[La...]]

The Journey

 

By Mary Oliver

 

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

Wowwwwwwwwww love this! Thank you Nova. This opening of the poem….

 

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do

 

Yes I knew what I had to do! 

[[La...]]

Anyway I Can

 

Anyway I can get to my destination that’s what I’ll strive to do

If it takes half of me, so be it, because the other half can get me through

Anyway I can motivate myself to just began to bend down to pick up the pieces

Only then will I see the rewards of my effort and do it again for the same reasons

Anyway I can fit together this puzzling puzzle that’s been spread over a vast land

I keep in mind that I can do this alone even if when I reach out there’s nobody’s hand

Anyway I can move in the direction of my healing regardless of how scared

Fear will not be my deciding factor or a testament of how well I fared

Anyway I can endure another day or night when everything says I won’t

I’ll embrace the morning light with gladness and say a prayer for those who don’t

Anyway I can….anyway I can….anyway I can….

I vow now that no matter what, I’m going to make it to my best days

Anyway I can….because they are waiting for me to join them in joyous ways

 

By LadyDen

[[La...]]

The Drive 🚗

 

Put the keys in the ignition

Give yourself permission

To shift that gear

Put away the fear

Press on the gas

But not too fast

Roll the windows down

Take in the sights around

Wave as you pass by

Cry your victory cry

Pull up to the location

Claiming the destination

Get out and take it in

You did it, it’s a win

Now time to go home

You did this alone

I’m looking forward to tomorrow

Saying goodbye to the sorrow

For I knew this day would run

When I drive in the sun

The joy it made me feel

The drive this time was real

 

By LadyDen who is now driving again after waiting 2 years.

May this poem serve as a reminder that with time, we’ll do things again to never take them for granted. Take baby steps.

[[be...]]

The Drive 🚗

 

Put the keys in the ignition

Give yourself permission

To shift that gear

Put away the fear

Press on the gas

But not too fast

Roll the windows down

Take in the sights around

Wave as you pass by

Cry your victory cry

Pull up to the location

Claiming the destination

Get out and take it in

You did it, it’s a win

Now time to go home

You did this alone

I’m looking forward to tomorrow

Saying goodbye to the sorrow

For I knew this day would run

When I drive in the sun

The joy it made me feel

The drive this time was real

 

By LadyDen who is now driving again after waiting 2 years.

May this poem serve as a reminder that with time, we’ll do things again to never take them for granted. Take baby steps.

💖💖💖

[[La...]]

I AmLiketheStars

 

I am like the stars seen on the Fourth of July night

Together with fireworks dispensing the light

Caught in amazement of a grand display

Fuse was lit, so what come what may

The colors I’ve seen spreading out to reach the sky

Lost in its awe inspiring excellent high

I bet those stars are happy to share their sky for one night

To bask in the glory of a beauty that shines so bright

And when it is over then the normal calm will again appear

It will be as if it never happened until it joins me next year

I am like the stars that awaited for this night

It is surely worth it to wait to see such a sight

 

By LadyDen

 

Happy 4th of July to all 🇺🇸🎆🇺🇸🎇

[[Bl...]]

I AmLiketheStars

 

I am like the stars seen on the Fourth of July night

Together with fireworks dispensing the light

Caught in amazement of a grand display

Fuse was lit, so what come what may

The colors I’ve seen spreading out to reach the sky

Lost in its awe inspiring excellent high

I bet those stars are happy to share their sky for one night

To bask in the glory of a beauty that shines so bright

And when it is over then the normal calm will again appear

It will be as if it never happened until it joins me next year

I am like the stars that awaited for this night

It is surely worth it to wait to see such a sight

 

By LadyDen

 

Happy 4th of July to all 🇺🇸🎆🇺🇸🎇

 

Very nice, LadyDen. Happy Fourth!

[[Be...]]

LadyDen, that was a nice poem.

[[be...]]

I AmLiketheStars

 

I am like the stars seen on the Fourth of July night

Together with fireworks dispensing the light

Caught in amazement of a grand display

Fuse was lit, so what come what may

The colors I’ve seen spreading out to reach the sky

Lost in its awe inspiring excellent high

I bet those stars are happy to share their sky for one night

To bask in the glory of a beauty that shines so bright

And when it is over then the normal calm will again appear

It will be as if it never happened until it joins me next year

I am like the stars that awaited for this night

It is surely worth it to wait to see such a sight

 

By LadyDen

 

Happy 4th of July to all 🇺🇸🎆🇺🇸🎇

   

[[Bl...]]

A Chat with My Anxiety

 

Good morning, my friend. Yes, I’m afraid I'm still here.

Did you think with a good night’s sleep I would disappear?

No sir, you see things just don't work that way.

I've brought lots of bags and plan for a long stay.

 

Please give me a break and just leave me be.

It's hard to function with what you do to me.

Your constant intrusions inciting dread and fear.

Just pack your shit up and get the hell out of here.

 

I’m not about to leave you now, we're off to a wonderful start.

You need to figure a few things out if you’d like me to depart.

After all, it was your actions that invited me here.

This medication you've been taking for well over a year.

 

Figure things out, what the hell do you mean.

I was just living my life, peaceful and serene.

I got laid off and suddenly things got tossed all around.

My doc gave me some Xanax and that kinda' calmed me down.

 

Ah, but that Xanax was designed for only short-term use.

You've been on it for 15 months; your system can't take that abuse.

You've built up a dependence and now your doc says take more.

But increasing your dose won't begin to settle this score.

 

The Xanax doesn't help me like it did when I first began.

I take it exactly as prescribed, I just don't understand.

My symptoms have all returned and, in many ways, more intense.

And now you’re saying it’s the meds? That doesn’t make any sense.

 

Hey, I don’t make the rules. I’m just here doing my thing.

When your limbic system calls me in, that’s when I spring!

I’m here to keep you amped up. To be vigilant and alert.

I could care less about the process, not to be too curt.

 

That’s just it! All the reasons for your presence, they seem a little hazy.

Fearful of the shower, afraid to go outside; it’s driving me crazy!

I don’t appear to be at risk. I’m not in harm’s way.

Yet I’m consumed with you constantly. Please go away.

 

Sorry my friend, I'm not in charge of the reasons why.

It's the 'Benzo Effect' that creates all those lies.

You'll start to feel better when you recognize that fact.

Disregard the lies and you can lessen my impact.

 

Wait a minute...what you're saying is ignore these bizarre thoughts.

Quit chasing down the rabbit holes that have me tied up in knots.

That's a pretty tall order when you've filled my mind with fear.

Why am I so scared? What the hell is happening here?

 

What is happening is a chemical fabrication.

I'm a result of your dysregulated nervous system's creation.

When your brain can't sense the source of my sudden appearance.

It justifies my presence by distorting what you experience.

 

So all this fear, doom, and gloom and these weird sensations I feel...

They're not based in reality? This is incredibly surreal!

Even though I want to explore each and every wacky thought.

That can make things worse and make me feel more distraught?

 

Anything you do that makes the adrenaline and cortisol flow.

Puts me at center-stage where I'll restart my show.

Just ignore me and the thoughts associated with my arrival.

That should be the primary component in your game plan for survival.

 

So step number one; don't engage the thoughts, they're all benzo lies.

My symptoms are neurochemical distortions wrapped up in disguise.

What's the next step I need do to send you on your way?

Please tell me what is is and I'll start doing it right away.

 

You can start by tapering the dose of your medication.

Taking it slow helps your system with its adaptation.

Unfortunately, it's going to take some time, my friend.

That's the key factor for your nervous system to mend.

 

Wow! All because of my system's reaction to Xanax.

I muddle through each day in a state of constant panic.

The drug that used to give me a little relief

That's the source of all these symptoms, it's beyond all belief!

 

Believe it my friend, and you are by no means alone.

Thousands of others live in this benzo terror zone.

Log into benzobuddies.org and take a look.

You'll find stories of countless others that got bit by its hook.

 

Well, I can't say I enjoyed this little chat with you.

But you've explained a few things, for that I'll give you your due.

So I'll tolerate your presence but to hell with you just the same.

I'll no longer take the bait. I'm done playing your little game.

 

By Blue Lion

[[La...]]

Blue…..fabulous poem! Just fabulous! 

[[Hu...]]

That opening line was particularly fantastic Blue, I swear I have that exact interaction haha.

 

Good to see you still spreading joy too, Lady

[[be...]]

Blue,so many good points that Buddies can use to overcome the ravages of the benzo they are so true. You are truly gifted and I want to read your first book.

Peace and Healing.

[[La...]]

That opening line was particularly fantastic Blue, I swear I have that exact interaction haha.

 

Good to see you still spreading joy too, Lady

Hurricane 

[[Bl...]]

It Is What It Is

 

She rises each morning from a sleep that was restless,

preparing for another miserable day.

Her road to recovery from this bizarre illness

is still many miles away.

 

Through no fault of her own she's saddled with this curse.

She just followed her doctor's advice.

She does all she can not to make her ride worse.

As she's gripped by this neurochemical vise.

 

She's figured things out and has a plan for her healing.

maintaining a disciplined and exacting routine.

She remains active and productive despite how she's feeling.

As she puts forth a calm and collected mien.

 

Her life is anything but calm and collected,

as she endures this relentless assault.

Surviving the daily torment to which she's subjected,

and only time can bring it to a halt.

 

She learns all she can about this insufferable condition.

Through her illness she has found a new purpose.

Assisting fellow sufferers is now her primary mission.

And she thrives when she's providing this service.

 

For these last several years, this is her life.

An existence horrific and surreal.

Whatever joy or delight that may enter her world,

the illness tempers her ability to feel.

 

She doesn't get discouraged; she knows she's seen the worst.

And she knows that one day it will end.

Continuing to put the needs of others comes first.

That's who she is. My dearest of friends!

 

By Blue Lion

[[La...]]

Wonderful to get this going again! Here’s an uplifting poem that I hope lightens your day…

It’s Alright

From the time we’re born we cry

For ever so many reasons why 

But I read a verse in a special book

And just one sentence is all it took

For me to not feel bad when a tear fall

Because what I’m enduring IS hard after all 

So, we should let our natural way of freeing stress

Manifest as tears for that is best

Then dry them up and embrace calm at night

A little crying for now is alright 

It’s not so much how we’ll make it through today

But it’s the fact you DID it anyway

Hug yourself, keep going and cry if we must

In this strange process we have to put our trust 

It might take much longer than we expect

Just wait, my friend, you haven’t seen nothing yet

We’ll wake one morning with our world again bright

Proof that all along we thought of doom but it really was 

ALRIGHT! 
 

By LadyDen - to the buddies who read this and feeling like they can’t make it. Please wait for the “alright”. Be encouraged! Love and hugs!