12-24 months and up support group

[[Ga...]]

Thank you sweet English Rose, Leann.  Yes, this has been a very unpleasant female experience that was complicated by a perforation of my uterine wall.  The good news is that perforation is healing on its own and I will get rid of the infection, hopefully in the next two weeks!

 

I feel your sadness and frustration at having been one of the many of us who have been left in states of extreme mental and physical injury.  The cruelest part of this is that we have no date for the end of our pain and suffering.  When I am feeling particularly scared or ill I just keep saying myself that this too shall pass.  I know it sounds somewhat trite, but believe me I hang on to every word of it.  Tests after tests, some of which were very complicated, prove that I am basically very healthy at 75, and that I can and will heal.  I would hate to have a terminal illness with an end date given; Instead, I feel rather calm knowing that my end date of this injury will come, maybe too slowly for my liking, but come it will.

 

I love hearing about your gardening and your love of the chores involved in keeping it thriving.  Unfortunately, your awful heat wave is creating more brown spaces than green ones.  We have had an abnormally hot and stormy weather pattern recently, and I have not been able to keep my garden as tidy as I would like!

 

You have been sounding more positive in recent weeks, so hang on to even the small signs that show you are healing!

 

Hugs,

 

GG

[[de...]]

GG:  Good afternoon!  Gosh it is so disheartening to hear about the state of our hospitals first hand!  How sad!  I feel so badly for people in the medical profession!  I hope our health care system manages to regroup and move forward in a way that benefits everyone.  I go to Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville for my health care.  It is a world class facility and somehow they have managed to continue to provide the level of care to which their patients have grown accustom.  It is quite remarkable.

 

How are you feeling this afternoon?  Are you able to do some things around the house?  I know the antibiotic is doing it's thing trying to get rid of the infection!!! 

 

I am praying that you do not have any I'll effects from the antibiotic. 

 

You are going to. Be as good as new very soon!!!

 

I am doing okay.  Having lots of physical symptoms today after a night of very little sleep.  Nausea, diarrhea, numbness, tingling, cold hands and feet, blurred vision, headache!  Just to name a few! 

 

Please rest up and take good care of yourself!  I sm pulling for you as always!

 

Let's go!!!  Let's go!!!!!

 

Lisa

[[Li...]]

Helen,

Thank you for the words of encouragement.

 

GG,

Keeping you in my prayers and hoping that you get some relief very soon.

 

Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Li...]]

To all my dear sweet benzo Buddies,

 

All I can say is. Symptoms! Symptoms! Symptoms! Fear! Fear! Fear! Three times for emphasis! Trying to hang on! :'(

 

Sending you all warm love and healing hugs

 

LiveLife

[[de...]]

LiveLife:  So sorry about all of your symptoms!!!!!  They need to go away.  I know the constant fear is wearing you down!  We all need a break!  This is too much! 

 

Maybe you will get some relief this evening! 

 

Lisa

[[Be...]]

GG, it's good that you got good care at the ER and I'm sure you'll be just fine.  I think docs are the best.  They are so intelligent and I've never had a bad experience with an MD or DO ever. 

[[Li...]]

Lisa,

Thank you so much. That would be great if I could get a break this evening. I hope you get a break from all your symptoms too. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[fe...]]

Hi friends,

Someone said symptoms, symptoms, symptoms!!  That said I’m trying to figure out if neon yellow diarrhea is common in this mess.  Gross I know but super disturbing!  Have you ran into anyone else with this anyone… sheesh I’m over a year out.  Really don’t want to go to the doctor for this.  I’ve found a few older posts where people had this… don’t know at a year out though.

What a ride 🤯

🔥

[[De...]]

Hi friends,

Someone said symptoms, symptoms, symptoms!!  That said I’m trying to figure out if neon yellow diarrhea is common in this mess.  Gross I know but super disturbing!  Have you ran into anyone else with this anyone… sheesh I’m over a year out.  Really don’t want to go to the doctor for this.  I’ve found a few older posts where people had this… don’t know at a year out though.

What a ride 🤯

🔥

 

Hello FF - I'm sorry you are experiencing such an alarming symptom...I've never had that during BWD, but I did have something similar (maybe not neon, but quite yellow) when I was being prescribed a proton pump inhibitor for a bit of heartburn.  I was on Ambien at the time but had no idea it could be contributing to my symptoms.  The PPI wasn't doing the trick so the doc doubled my dose and voila - I believe that it was the result of lowering my stomach acid so much that I could no longer digest my food properly.

 

In your case and others I'd bet your microbiome is altered...they call it dysbiosis.  For sure this can be the case this far out.  Withdrawal leaves us so altered in so many ways we have to fight our way back to health.  You can do some research on it, and try some probiotics, prebiotics and eat a whole foods healthy diet.  It may take some time, but we can always improve our gut health.

 

What other symptoms are you experiencing? 

[[He...]]

Deanna and Fire,

 

I am remembering that I had the yellow stuff while on the meds and for a while after I jumped.  Last summer I was thoroughly checked by a functional med doctor.  A stool sample was taken and lots of blood work.  Nothing was found wrong with my gut whatsoever EXCEPT dysbiosis.  It's good to know what you said, Deanna about it possibly still being WD causing the gut to be out of balance. I always suspected it was something like that.  I never have yellow stuff anymore.  The fucnctional med doctor recommended taking tiny doses of the Coconut Cult yogurt to help with the dysbiosis.  I thought it was interesting that nothing else at all was found wrong with my stool sample. 

 

Fire, I hope yours stops soon. If you see a doc, let us know what you learn. 

 

Helen

[[fe...]]

Thanks for the reply Deanna and Helen

I’ve never beard that term but I have no doubt my gut microbe is off.  I’m trying to eat pretty clean but going to look for the coconut yogurt.

Deanna,

My other symptoms are burning skin, fear/terror, insomnia, still dizzy, short of breath,  fatigue and I’m sure others come and go.  Real party.  Some things have gotten better including restless legs.  I’ve had some windows with lessening of symptoms but not a wide open window with no symptoms. 

But I must keep going.  Sounds like you are pretty well?  What are your remaining symptoms?

Thanks again guys

🔥

[[De...]]

Helen your experience is very reassuring....In our case I think functional medicine is the way to go unless some sort of serious medical situation occurs. 

 

FF your symptoms are all so common in BWD.  I have made good progress yes but still have minor symptoms that are mostly contained to nerve pain.  I have tinnitus most days and sometimes fatigue sets in but doing much better overall.  A year ago I was miserable and I wasn't one to get clear windows during my recovery, but now I get many days/weeks with almost no symptoms.  I didn't really have gut issues during withdrawal but I noticed that gluten was a trigger for fatigue with me, so since going gluten free and addressing gut health I've made very good progress. 

 

Good luck going forward!  You'll get there!

[[He...]]

Deanna,

 

I could read that sentence over and over about you going days or sometimes weeks symptom free!  Yippee!  You are 2 years off, correct? 

 

thanks,

Helen

[[Be...]]

fire, I had the yellow stools too when I first got off the pills and then it went away on its own.  I didn't even change my diet or anything.

[[fe...]]

Thanks you guys,

I didn’t think it was possible to make it one year off…. I remember thinking no way could I do a year of this.  That was when I thought I’d be well at 6 months.  Now of course I’m thinking no way can I do another year of this!  Buddies are not lying when they say it takes a long time to heal!!! How naïve I was.  Oh well the only way out is through but dang it’s so very hard! 

Deanna, you are an encouragement… glad you are feeling pretty darn good.  I also have the ear ringing although mostly an electric fence type of hum.  Then sometimes my hearing just goes, usually just in my left ear.  I do think I have pretty classic benzo withdrawal symptoms.  Almost unbearable.

Thanks Becks,  I think I’ve asked this question before to buddies… it always makes you feel better when you can find someone that has experienced the same.. I just never know if I should be concerned or ignore.  For a cancer survivor it’s hard to ignore all these really disturbing symptoms.  What a cruel twist of life this has been…. I really didn’t know there was this kind of suffering out there.  Now when I see people struggling mentally I also wonder if they take a benzo!!! Think soooo many do and they have no idea what trouble that could lie ahead for them. 

Godspeed friends

🔥

[[...]]

Hi Fellow Buddies,

 

I hope this day has been good for you all. I have been cycling through some moderate symptoms at 31 months Benzo free. It sure is disappointing after feeling good for a while. I know you all can relate so I wanted to share.

 

Praying that all of us can put this behind us soon. We need to have a big party when that day comes!🎉

 

Love and hugs,

 

Sandy🥰

[[La...]]

Hi friends,

Someone said symptoms, symptoms, symptoms!!  That said I’m trying to figure out if neon yellow diarrhea is common in this mess.  Gross I know but super disturbing!  Have you ran into anyone else with this anyone… sheesh I’m over a year out.  Really don’t want to go to the doctor for this.  I’ve found a few older posts where people had this… don’t know at a year out though.

What a ride 🤯

🔥

Yes fire! I had/have that. Neon yellow poo… it’s WD! Took awhile but it finally turned normal. Every now and then I get it again but much milder now and certainly short lived.

[[La...]]

Hello Yearlings! A big welcome to Fire! 💐

Although you’re feeling like crap please know I love you and we’re here to support each other. And yes the only way out is through. We all was naïve about this… how could we not when much isn’t known. But rest assured we are locking wrists and together we will come out on the other side! Somebody said “oh you’ll look back and laugh”. WHAT??? No the heck I won’t because there’s not a dayum thing funny about this prolonged crap show!

To everyone I’ve read your posts. I’m so sorry for us all but as Helen says onward we go! This DOES end! It has to! We wait until it does. I’ve been hit with fatigue ( ergo, my absence). These symptoms are a trip!!!! But I know that they serve a purpose so I’m not fighting them. I’ve prayed for us all. We will be alright. All of us feeling like crap can only mean major repair. And I say… ok but let’s be done! Good lord in heaven…. I’m so ready to not have waves or symptoms anymore. This must be our magic year everyone! Grab that hope and don’t let it go!

I love you all. ❤️

[[De...]]

Deanna,

 

I could read that sentence over and over about you going days or sometimes weeks symptom free!  Yippee!  You are 2 years off, correct? 

 

thanks,

Helen

 

Thanks Helen!  Yes 2 years off July 31st.  I sometimes think I should write a success story, but I've been fooled before.  I know in my heart of hearts that if I took a med that I was sensitive to I'd be right back in the thick of withdrawal.  So while I've made great progress and can get on with my life I think I will be "tenuous" for another year or so.  I just know my body and I am not yet robust enough to have a drink of alcohol or run a 5K.  But I can indeed move on and make plans for the future.  I am waiting to see if the tinnitus goes away, that would be a great indicator of final healing.

 

Helen, you and our other buddies will get there!  Just keep taking it one day at a time and always do the right thing for your body and mind.  It's a slog for sure!!! 

[[La...]]

Deanna,

 

I could read that sentence over and over about you going days or sometimes weeks symptom free!  Yippee!  You are 2 years off, correct? 

 

thanks,

Helen

 

Thanks Helen!  Yes 2 years off July 31st.  I sometimes think I should write a success story, but I've been fooled before.  I know in my heart of hearts that if I took a med that I was sensitive to I'd be right back in the thick of withdrawal.  So while I've made great progress and can get on with my life I think I will be "tenuous" for another year or so.  I just know my body and I am not yet robust enough to have a drink of alcohol or run a 5K.  But I can indeed move on and make plans for the future.  I am waiting to see if the tinnitus goes away, that would be a great indicator of final healing.

 

Helen, you and our other buddies will get there!  Just keep taking it one day at a time and always do the right thing for your body and mind.  It's a slog for sure!!! 

I love this Deanna! You are so wise. I can’t wait to read your story of how you crossed the finish line. I totally agree with you that right now you’re at the sensitive phase- phase 3. That’s when people are mostly healed but if in contact with something that triggers WD you’ll get thrown back wards. Temporarily but it sucks. Again, very wise to be on guard. The tinnitus may take much longer to go away but it’s something you can certainly live a good life with. As a matter of fact I wish that was all I had 

I’m very happy for you my dear. 🌹🌹🌹  You can lead the way for the rest of us.

[[He...]]

Lady Den,

 

I'm sorry the fatigue monster has come to visit you.  Your attitude is amazing.  I'm thinking of you!

 

Deanna,

 

Thank you for your reply.  I think you are being smart by just trusting what you feel about your body.  I know I am getting better in general. I still pretty consistently get some yucky waves but they are not as debilitating as the ones in the past.  I'm a little over 14 months and I can feel my body getting stronger and more tolerant of stimulation and exercise.  I'm trying to plod along with slight increases in activity and injecting some more low key days into the schedule just to "seal in the good". My nervous system is definitely in for another year or so of healing, I'd predict. In the past month, I am seeing some positive strides.  So long as I don't have an injury or get a virus or have some unforeseen stressful event, I can see a somewhat steady forward movement happening.  Of course, life offers us no guarantees about the things that could upset the apple cart so I'm just living day to day and keeping my journal so I can see the progress.  I'm so happy for you that you are moving on with open eyes and realism.  That's my plan too! 

 

This has definitely been a good week for since Sunday.  I'll take it and wish the same for each of you. 

 

Hope the weekend brings some goodness into all your lives,

Helen

[[La...]]

Lady Den,

 

I'm sorry the fatigue monster has come to visit you.  Your attitude is amazing.  I'm thinking of you!

 

Deanna,

 

Thank you for your reply.  I think you are being smart by just trusting what you feel about your body.  I know I am getting better in general. I still pretty consistently get some yucky waves but they are not as debilitating as the ones in the past.  I'm a little over 14 months and I can feel my body getting stronger and more tolerant of stimulation and exercise.  I'm trying to plod along with slight increases in activity and injecting some more low key days into the schedule just to "seal in the good". My nervous system is definitely in for another year or so of healing, I'd predict. In the past month, I am seeing some positive strides.  So long as I don't have an injury or get a virus or have some unforeseen stressful event, I can see a somewhat steady forward movement happening.  Of course, life offers us no guarantees about the things that could upset the apple cart so I'm just living day to day and keeping my journal so I can see the progress.  I'm so happy for you that you are moving on with open eyes and realism.  That's my plan too! 

 

This has definitely been a good week for since Sunday.  I'll take it and wish the same for each of you. 

 

Hope the weekend brings some goodness into all your lives,

Helen

So very sweet! I’m so happy you’re having a good week! May they continue!

Compared to last week including last weekend, this one has been better for me too. Yay we are healing!

🌹❤️🤗😉🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝

[[La...]]

Morning love ❤️ hugs 🤗 and sunshine 🌞

How’s everyone doing? I pray you all got some shut eye last night.

[[de...]]

Hey there!  Checking in on this Saturday morning!  This Saturday is definitely better than last Sat. for sure!  Had a decent night sleep.  Woke this morning with tingling, numbness, anxiety and my hands are freezing.  I think my circulation is being effected!  Always something new and "fun" happening.  I feel like I am starting to pull out of this wave ever so slowly!  This has been my longest, hardest wave to date!

 

How is everyone else doing?  GG?  Helen?? Bess??  JBen??  Pashu??  Live???  LeeAnn??  Sandy??  Let us hear from you!  And whomever else I left out!!

 

 

Lisa

[[fl...]]

Anyone had a brutal wave at 22 months off benzos?

 

For this past 2.5 weeks I have been in sheer misery -my muscles will just not relax.  Legs, buttocks, lower back and abdomen.  This past few days the pain has really ramped up significantly and now I can hardly walk.

 

July for the most part was pretty reasonable and I was able to do many things which I could not have done 1 year ago.  I was much more mobile and the pain was nowhere near as brutal as now.  I was even thinking that I could write my success story if I continued to improve like I did in July.  Not so.

 

Very depressing to think that this has been going on for nearly 2 years.