12-24 months and up support group

[[jo...]]

Hello to everyone glad some of you are recovering. Can only describe it as living hell at moment. Really don’t think I’m going to recover from this anymore, brain feels burned out. With mental symptoms you look normal so hard, trying to appear like I’m not completely  psycho which is what I feel. Don’t know how much longer I can do this with no respite, please pray for me. Wish I could go back on zopiclone and have a life.

 

Hi Leanne,

I’m so sorry that you’re having such a difficult time. I understand the despair and pray you will feel better soon. Bless you!!

[[jo...]]

Hi Everyone,

I haven’t posted on a while as it seems I just continue to get worse and it’s been so very difficult.

I’m glad for those of you who are experiencing relief and healing.

 

I’m so sorry for those of us who continue to struggle so greatly. Jorgen, I’m so sorry that we are still having such painful brain and body burning. It takes my breath away. Im so very discouraged and in despair that I continue to suffer such pain. It’s so hard on my body and mentally it’s maddening.

 

It’s impossible to imagine that we are having such severe symptoms for so long.

The burning brain and body is incredibly painful and devastating.

It’s truly like battery acid on an open wound 24/7.  I can hardly handle much more. I truly thought I would be better by now.

 

The electric sensations and deep muscle and bone pain in my legs causes them to shake uncontrollably due to the pain. I’ve had heightened anxiety and fear due to all the pain and lack of relief. Every day is the same battle, not really living, just surviving.

 

I try to speak positive things over my body but lately it seems I am so broken over this unending torment. It’s like being in a torture chamber of no escape. I’m so scared because this seems to be getting worse and not healing. I’ve prayed for mercy and healing everyday.

 

I’ve had no windows in these 15 months (almost 16) If i could just get a break, it would bring such hope. The pain is torturous as there is little relief.

 

I’m so sorry for those still enduring these horrible symptoms and inconceivable experiences.

I pray we turn a corner soon. I am thinking of you all.

I’m sending you warm healing hugs.

Bless you. 💙

 

[[La...]]

Hi everyone, really struggling . I'm almost 18 months snd I feel worse alot of times. Is this normal. I can barely do anything with this dpdr and distorted hesd stuff. I'm getting so down. Hope you are sll doing ok today.  We csn do this

Yes we can do this. There is a such thing as worst before better. So be encouraged! I had this same thing happen to me…more than once. But today I’m much better. So IMO I think it is the brain saying “let’s kick up this healing.” It’s frustrating, scary and generates all kinds of emotions but it is part of the process for most. It’s good to see that you are still remaining with a positive attitude. Hold on to that. It will carry you through.

Hugs! And welcome to this thread.

[[La...]]

Jordan I’m saddened to hear of your continued struggles. I’m sure you’re very tired and it’s chipping away at your hope. But don’t give up. Don’t let go of it. I know that gets old hearing that….but what I do is go back to the success stories. As many times as I need to. There’s so many that struggled as much and as long as you…they healed! Keep doing your best. Let the days keep adding up. It’s got to break soon.

Thank you for being supportive as well as encouraging while you’re in distress yourself. You’re a great person with a warrior spirit! I’m sending you my love and hope things lift for you really soon.

 

[[He...]]

Hi Everyone,

I haven’t posted on a while as it seems I just continue to get worse and it’s been so very difficult.

I’m glad for those of you who are experiencing relief and healing.

 

I’m so sorry for those of us who continue to struggle so greatly. Jorgen, I’m so sorry that we are still having such painful brain and body burning. It takes my breath away. Im so very discouraged and in despair that I continue to suffer such pain. It’s so hard on my body and mentally it’s maddening.

 

It’s impossible to imagine that we are having such severe symptoms for so long.

The burning brain and body is incredibly painful and devastating.

It’s truly like battery acid on an open wound 24/7.  I can hardly handle much more. I truly thought I would be better by now.

 

The electric sensations and deep muscle and bone pain in my legs causes them to shake uncontrollably due to the pain. I’ve had heightened anxiety and fear due to all the pain and lack of relief. Every day is the same battle, not really living, just surviving.

 

I try to speak positive things over my body but lately it seems I am so broken over this unending torment. It’s like being in a torture chamber of no escape. I’m so scared because this seems to be getting worse and not healing. I’ve prayed for mercy and healing everyday.

 

I’ve had no windows in these 15 months (almost 16) If i could just get a break, it would bring such hope. The pain is torturous as there is little relief.

 

I’m so sorry for those still enduring these horrible symptoms and inconceivable experiences.

I pray we turn a corner soon. I am thinking of you all.

I’m sending you warm healing hugs.

Bless you. 💙

 

Jordan,

 

I'm SO very sorry for the deep and long suffering you are enduring.  You are truly in the thick of this hellish journey and I hate it for you.  I'd like to recommend talking to Angela Peacock if you can. I spoke with her yesterday and found her to be comforting and wise and she gave good guidance.  She's a great listener too and has been through the WD process in the worst way. 

 

I'm saying prayers for you JJ! 

 

I'm in a pretty bad wave and the burning and aching and tingling made me think of you.  I know you don't get any breaks from that and it's unfathomable but somehow you are managing to go on.  You have more strength than you know.

 

Peace and love,

Helen

[[De...]]

Ladyden,

 

Thank you so much it's been so scary.  This dpdr is spooky.  I really appreciate your kind words feel like im dying Sometimes.  Yes, that makes sense  it

Worse sometimes before better. We can do this thanks for welcoming me to tge group.

[[fe...]]

Hi to everyone…. New and old friends.  I’m not on here much because I’m trying to pretend it isn’t still happening 🤯… but darn I’m still in the thick of it as I can see most of you can relate. I think I’m about 20 and 1/2 months off Ativan… 30 years every single day.  I’m 61 now.  I know there’s been some improvements but today isn’t the day I can see them.  I think several days ago I told someone I thought I was turning a corner….. there must be some buried optimism in me still.  I would like to think that was a window of sorts. Definitely not a full blown yahoo but a couple bearable days. 

It is a lonely illness but I know you all get that feeling.

Anyway, thinking of you all.  I won’t list my symptoms…. They are pretty much the traditional benzo horror show.

Big virtual hug!!!

Fire

[[De...]]

Hi feeling fire, congratulations!!! Your doing great. Thats a good sign. I understand,  this is so hard. I'm 18 months after like 20 yrs on znd off. I feel like tgere have been some improvements but feel,worse in alot of other ways. I bet you are turning a corner. I'm praying for windows znd healing for everyone.

[[fe...]]

Dehytq2,

Thanks… guess we both have some serious time under our belts but it’s sure not feeling good.  Still really hard existing. I’m trying to keep hope alive.  Very lonely but I know I’m not the only one doing this. 

Definitely not turning a corner yet.  Feels like praying for a miracle.  🙏

Hope you’re okay

Good job to you too!!!!

Fire

[[He...]]

Dehytq2,

 

Fire and I are old buddies and it sounds like you are right in our same time span. I'm 22 months off of 15+ years on Z drugs, benzos,  and a couple of small stints on Lexapro.  What you said about some things are better but in others you feel worse really resonates with me. Have you ever felt symptom free even for a day? I have had some decent windows with 5 days being my longest one I think. Lately, I'm not getting any relief and wondering if this is some serious fine tuning going on I hope so anyway!  I, too am praying for better days....possibly a miracle.  Hang in there! 

 

Helen

[[De...]]

Hi everyone,  I feel awful head. I never get windows and my head. I'm q8 months of. Does ut ever get z bit more manageable i cant barely do anything

[[De...]]

Hi Helen, 

Thank you. I haven't been sx free ever. I think its sort of a lesser intensity. Kind of like some days are more manageable.  Im 18 months now. Thats awesome you had windows. I pray  your turning a corner. I bet it is fine tuning! Wbe eill get there. Thos sure is crazy. Itwill get better. Congrats on 22 months!!!

[[Mi...]]

Hi everyone, let's continue to be patient with healing. Hoping that we all would turn the corner as the body recovers inside. Sorry that I can't respond to PMs sometimes due to symptoms.

 

I'm working on my 27th month of being free and experiencing what I feel are my most difficult days of withdrawal. Symptoms such as DPDR, dim eyes, distension/benzo belly, hip pain, dry mouth, etc. One of the hardest things is the bloating and gas everyday and I am sometimes feeling confused about what to eat. I feel like just laying on my bed the whole day but need to push myself to walk for comfort. Is anyone else experiencing these symptoms or wanting to chat by phone to encourage each other? Needing a friend.

[[La...]]

Hi to everyone…. New and old friends.  I’m not on here much because I’m trying to pretend it isn’t still happening 🤯… but darn I’m still in the thick of it as I can see most of you can relate. I think I’m about 20 and 1/2 months off Ativan… 30 years every single day.  I’m 61 now.  I know there’s been some improvements but today isn’t the day I can see them.  I think several days ago I told someone I thought I was turning a corner….. there must be some buried optimism in me still.  I would like to think that was a window of sorts. Definitely not a full blown yahoo but a couple bearable days. 

It is a lonely illness but I know you all get that feeling.

Anyway, thinking of you all.  I won’t list my symptoms…. They are pretty much the traditional benzo horror show.

Big virtual hug!!!

Fire

Hey Fire!! Great to see you posting again. I’m excited for your improvements. You’re doing a great job of just getting through. It won’t be much longer now. You’re well on your way!

Sending you love and hugs back

:smitten:

[[La...]]

Morning hugs Yearlings! Hope your Easter weekend was great! Mine was nice. I’m still doing pretty well at 33 months. Wow this really tests your patience and much more. Hang in there my dear friends. It will get better. It’s an amazing feeling when we get those windows. Remember they are the truth….that’s how it will be when it’s finished healing.

 

Beautiful bliss!

 

[[Li...]]

Hello to all my beautiful buddies,

 

I see some of us are doing poorly and really struggling. And then there's others that are having nice windows. Hopefully all of us will be turning corners very soon. I still get mini windows here and there, but nothing to write home about. Sure wish I could get a break this suffering is just too much.  I'm heading toward the 35 month mark. I hope that 3 years is going to be the magic number or before then would even be better.  I'm just struggling so much, it's hard to get through a day. It's hard to imagine that I'm this far out and doing this bad. Sure hope a change is coming soon.

 

LadyDen,

Sounds like you're moving ahead quite nicely. I'm so happy to hear that.

 

Sending hugs to all!  LiveLife

[[de...]]

Live:  Yes, I am struggling currently.  I haven't posted much lately, but I have kept up with everyone's progress.  How are you today?    I will be 37 months on the 15th, and am in a pretty major wave currently.  It has been going on for about 5 weeks.  I am so tired and discouraged.    I know you know those feelings well.  I hope you are having a good day!

 

Lisa

[[Li...]]

Lisa,

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and for 5 weeks.  This is so very frustrating. I barely have any good moments still, it's really hard to hang on. Was hoping when I hit 36 months that things could start to change. But I'm seeing for you they seem to have ramped up. Hopefully it will settle for you and this is your last wave before your final healing.  Before this wave were you in a nice window at least? Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[Pa...]]

Thought I'd check in. Still doing horrible. Trying to keep going despite it all. Broke down a little bit in the shower earlier, 24 months of constant hell.

[[le...]]

Lisa,

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and for 5 weeks.  This is so very frustrating. I barely have any good moments still, it's really hard to hang on. Was hoping when I hit 36 months that things could start to change. But I'm seeing for you they seem to have ramped up. Hopefully it will settle for you and this is your last wave before your final healing.  Before this wave were you in a nice window at least? Hugs!

 

LiveLife

 

 

 

So sorry you are still struggling, have found from experience better not to put time limits on these things. I truly thought by 3 years I would have had turning point. Been 51 months off zopiclone 34 months off the AD’s. Was just about functioning before flu jab 6 months ago, but that put me back into acute again plus actually getting flu last week. Been awful today got up for few hours then went back to bed. Hard to keep up hope we do all recovery at moment. Curious as to what the Green square means by some of us, imagine means Big brother is” watching us!!!

[[jo...]]

Hi everyone,

I am thinking of you all and sending you love and healing thoughts.

 

Helen, thank you for your kind words.  I’m so sorry that you had the burning creep up in a wave and pray you are doing well. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I’m going to look into speaking with Angela Peacock, thank you for recommending her to me.

 

Lady Den, as always thank you for your encouragement to my recent post as well. You are a beacon of light ahd hope for many. I’m glad you’re feeling so much better; you’ve come so far.

 

LiveLife, Fire, Paschu, GG, Dehytq, Millet, Decatur, Leann, Stich, Lisa, Jorgen and all, I pray our healing and restoration are around the bend. We must keep hoping and trusting that our glorious freedom will come.

 

I am now reaching month 16; no windows. I still have unbearable burning nerve pain in my scalp, shoulders, arms and legs. It feels like hot lava on my skin and acid in my brain and veins. I can literally feel the burning surging my veins.

 

This has been absolutely brutal for me and it seems I’m truly getting worse.

Last month i started getting terrible muscle pain in my legs. It feels like my legs are wrapped in barbed wire and someone shredding my muscles. My hips feel like vices are pulling the bone.

 

I get awful shaking in my legs like a washing machine agitator when the anxiety is high. I look like those dancing Hawaiian doll figurines that people put on their dashboards. It’s ridiculous how much they shake.

 

The latest symptom that is now occurring is my sensory nerves in my legs. When I take a shower it feels like needles hitting my skin. When I try swimming in the cold indoor pool to help soothe my burning body, the water actually stings my legs and head now. When I put on my makeup and fix my hair, my face, neck and scalp start burning.

 

Does anyone else have issues like this?

 

I am absolutely heartbroken that I am still in such a bad place this far out. I don’t understand why it seems I’m getting worse. I can barely take the pain.

 

I’m starting to have heightened anxiety and now panic attacks due to the pain. I wake up with fear and it stays with me all day.

 

I feel like I’m living in a torture chamber. My bedroom gives me ptsd because it represents pain to me.

What a tulmultous journey this has been. I’m frightened by it all. Being alone makes things very lonely and I get inside my head, anxious and afraid. It’s pretty much the same song and dance every day.

If I could just get a window or the burning wouid stop, I wouid be so grateful.

 

I’m so thankful for the support of friends here.

I’m so sorry for all those suffering so greatly. I pray we all heal soon and that renewed strength and healing will soon be ours.

Sending big hugs and love. 🙏💕

 

[[Ga...]]

Leann, the green square means you are online!

 

GG

[[le...]]

Thanks for explaining. Thought I was on the naughty step!

[[Li...]]

To all my beautiful buddies that are suffering, I hope you all turn the corner soon.

 

 

Leann,

 

So sorry about the flu job setting you back hopefully that will settle down soon.  Hoping your recovery from the flu will be quick as well.

 

What kind of symptoms did you have when you were at 3 years? Did you get any relief during the day or evening at all?

 

Jordan,

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering my dear. I sure hope you turn the corner very soon. It's just too much what this can do to you.

 

Hugs to all!  LiveLife

[[le...]]

Not really any change. Had horrendous year prior to it, after my Mum leaving me out will lit emotional stress. The withdrawal from zopiclone not too bad, the AD’s made me very ill and revved up symptoms, as dud flu jab. I kept reading lit people turned a corner at 3 years. But think everyone is different, lot of it luck of the draw,  I realise now was sort coping prior to flu jab. Mental symptoms been the worst think they are lot harder to cope with. Any physical symptoms eased after few weeks. Just seems take long time fir some us no rhyme nor reason for it.