12-24 months and up support group

[[jo...]]

Morning love to all you yearlings!

 

Live yes it is a good sign of healing when you’re getting relief even in short spurts.  They will get longer and better quality…hang in there. It’s only a matter of time for you. I’m cheering you on to get that radio fine tuned. Sending you my love . ❤️

 

Jordan it sounds like you’ve had it pretty rough this thanksgiving. For that I’m sorry to hear it. You asked about why it’s getting worse…..it seems to be the normal path of this. Worse before better. I definitely went through that part. But it will pass. Hang in there. I’m sure you’re doing all you can. One thing that helped my bladder issues instead of taking antibiotics I took cranberry juice twice a day…about 1/2-1 cup. It worked wonders! Yes antibiotics are culprits of making people feel worse unfortunately. But if they’re necessary then you’ll just have to take them. I’ve heard of many people on here thought they had bladder infection but it turned out after getting cultures at a doctor, it wasn’t infection at all. This crap mimics other ailments. I’m not saying you don’t have an infection but if I were you I’d make sure. I hope you get to feeling better very soon.

That’s my hope for all of us.

 

Big hugs 🤗

 

Thank you so much for your encouraging words LadyDen. I drink in every word.

It’s truly been so difficult lately, so thank you!

Yes, all these set backs and long waves are so hard.

If I could just stop burning in my brain and body I would be so grateful.

Praying that our miracles would come.

Bless you! 💕🌸🙏

[[jo...]]

Jordan

I so much understand what you are going through, because I am suffering the same way with all the burning. It's horrible.

I hope it's a sign of recovery snd that we get some windows soon🙏.

Hugs, Jørgen

 

Hi Jørgen,

Thank you so much! I’m so sorry that you are enduring the same.

It truly is horrible and it’s unimaginable pain. It’s so unforgiving and is really starting to break my spirit. The day in and day out of the pain and then the anxiety is so cruel.

I am praying that we will turn a corner soon. I’m going to be starting month 13, it’s hard to believe that I’ve dealt with this for that long. Some days I don’t know how I will get through it but somehow we do.

I am thinking of you and sending you hugs. I pray you will find comfort and healing soon!

Bless you! 🙏💙

[[jo...]]

 

Dear Jordan,  I don't post much anymore but I read your post and felt I had to reach out to you.

 

I'm almost 29 months off the poison.  Not everyone suffers with the physical pain, but like you it was my most horrible symptom which was with me constantly.  It wasn't burning as you describe, but a deep nerve pain that was so intense it took my breath away.  I had been poly drugged and as soon as I started withdrawing from Gabapentin it started.  It was a fibromyalgia-like pain which made my life unbearable.

 

I reach out to you because I see myself in your words.  There were so many many nights (and days too) that I laid awake deep breathing to get from one moment to another.  I rationalized that if this was life I didn't know how long I could endure.  All I could do was survive moment to moment.  I've been where you are now and my heart goes out to you.

 

I want you to know that slowly, incredibly and excruciatingly slowly, the pain became less intense.  As the months went by I found I was coping better because I saw some improvement.  Sometimes it got worse for sure, but I had to keep my head above water to get to that next occurrence of perceived improvement. I know you are dealing with medical interventions which are obviously making things worse.  Your nervous system is fighting you because it doesn't like the meds :-( 

 

Once you get past having to take these medicines you can march forward again.  Clean diet, no sugar, no supplements or meds, meditation and calm day after day will get you there.  It is so agonizingly slow but it will come.

 

I wish you steadfast resolve, but please know that you are working hard to get your life back.  And you will live a most wonderful life indeed!!!

 

Hi Deanna,

Thank you so much for your encouraging words and sharing your experience with me.

I could almost feel the suffering you experienced as I read your word’s because I understand completely. I’m so sorry that you struggled with the nerve pain so greatly.

It just inconceivable unless one has experienced it. I’m so sorry. God bless you that you are much better now.

 

I’m so sorry the gabapentin withdrawal was so rough! Ugh! I am actually taking the gabapentin for the burning brain and body as it does take the edge off for me somewhat. I had to do something so I could work. It doesn’t completely prevent the intense burning but it does help some and allows me some relief. Often it feels like a blow torch against my skull, it’s just horrible, but the GB sort of helps with that too. I’ve tapered down on it and hope to taper more soon. I just hate having to take it. I am so ready to be done with all this. I just have to keep telling myself that I will heal.,

 

I truly understand how you just had to hold on to get to the next moment. That crazy Xanax gave me bad symptoms while took it but I thought it was hormones. I had the burning while on it because of interdose WDs. Then once I jumped my body was on fire; and has been that way since. I then started the GB a few months after jumping. I was basically a CT because I went to detox. I got bad advice from my pdoc. What a nightmare it has been.

 

I’m grateful that I’ve been able to work; it’s only by grace have I been able to do so. However, I think the high stress job has probably hindered my healing.

I’ll be loosing my job soon. My company is transferring our work to the Philippines. Fortunately, i get a year’s severance. So perhaps I will heal faster once I’m not working.

 

Thank you for your uplifting words and kindness to reach out. I appreciate it so much. You are incredibly strong and courageou

Bless you💕🙏

 

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

Big hugs Deanna and everyone! I totally agree with Deanna. I certainly felt worse too for awhile then things started improving. Lately I’ve been having decent consecutive days with longer windows and milder waves. I’m very grateful. I’m trying not to get too excited and just see how it goes. But I’m definitely better after a long wait. I’m sitting up more, things are easier to accomplish and next I’m going to get back in my car for short rides very soon. Hopefully this weekend.  I’ve been absent because I’ve been focusing on improving.. Taking a break from here is also a good thing.

Sending everyone my love. Please know you’re in my thoughts.

 

:smitten:

 

LadyDen, this is all so good. I’m so happy that you’ve been able to do these things and that you’re improving. Just wonderful!

I’m sending you big hugs and prayers!

Bless you! 🙏💕🤗🌸

[[De...]]

Big hugs Deanna and everyone! I totally agree with Deanna. I certainly felt worse too for awhile then things started improving. Lately I’ve been having decent consecutive days with longer windows and milder waves. I’m very grateful. I’m trying not to get too excited and just see how it goes. But I’m definitely better after a long wait. I’m sitting up more, things are easier to accomplish and next I’m going to get back in my car for short rides very soon. Hopefully this weekend.  I’ve been absent because I’ve been focusing on improving.. Taking a break from here is also a good thing.

Sending everyone my love. Please know you’re in my thoughts.

 

:smitten:

 

Oh LadyD I can't tell you how very happy I am to hear of your progress.  Yes you are indeed on your way.  The improvement just keeps marching along.  You will bob and weave until you find nearly complete relief and at that point it is just time to get on with life.  There is no one more deserving than you dear friend!!!

[[Li...]]

Jorden and Jorgen,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and suffering. I hope you'll turn the corner soon.

 

LadyDen,

So good to hear that you are improving. Good for you keep going! Hurrah!

 

I had a window last night for 3 hours and it was glorious. The last one I had was 2 weeks ago and that was in the evening. I'm still trying to hang on and hoping to turn a corner.

 

Hugs!🤗

LiveLife

 

 

[[La...]]

Jorden and Jorgen,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles and suffering. I hope you'll turn the corner soon.

 

LadyDen,

So good to hear that you are improving. Good for you keep going! Hurrah!

 

I had a window last night for 3 hours and it was glorious. The last one I had was 2 weeks ago and that was in the evening. I'm still trying to hang on and hoping to turn a corner.

 

Hugs!🤗

LiveLife

Oh wow! I cried with joy reading this! Live,, I’m so happy for you! This means you’re having the beginnings of your turning the corner. Wow it’s about time! They will become more frequent and longer and better as they arrive. They truly are glorious! You might get hit with some rougher waves then you’ll notice clearer windows. The waves will get milder and windows longer. That’s how it was for me….keep hanging in there. That radio is finally finding your jam station so you can dance! Yay!

[[La...]]

Big hugs Deanna and everyone! I totally agree with Deanna. I certainly felt worse too for awhile then things started improving. Lately I’ve been having decent consecutive days with longer windows and milder waves. I’m very grateful. I’m trying not to get too excited and just see how it goes. But I’m definitely better after a long wait. I’m sitting up more, things are easier to accomplish and next I’m going to get back in my car for short rides very soon. Hopefully this weekend.  I’ve been absent because I’ve been focusing on improving.. Taking a break from here is also a good thing.

Sending everyone my love. Please know you’re in my thoughts.

 

:smitten:

 

Oh LadyD I can't tell you how very happy I am to hear of your progress.  Yes you are indeed on your way.  The improvement just keeps marching along.  You will bob and weave until you find nearly complete relief and at that point it is just time to get on with life.  There is no one more deserving than you dear friend!!!

Wow! Just wow! What a sweet dear lady you are! I love you Deanna! Thank you for cheering me on. I’m on my way to be in your shoes….more better days than not. It’s a great feeling after all this time. We are witnesses that time is the healer. It makes me tear up to see you doing well. What a warrior! You deserve it!

[[La...]]

Happy Saturday to everyone! May you be blessed today with nice windows so you can enjoy yourself. My thoughts, prayers and well wishes are with you all. Please don’t let benzo bully have the satisfaction of making you think all hope is lost and that you won’t heal. Yes you will! Do something you enjoy today that puts a smile on your face. Even if it’s just for a few minutes. It’s worth it to give ourselves a little joy.

 

Big hugs and much love!

❤️💗💕🙏🤗

Wrists locked! 🤝

[[...]]

Happy Saturday to you all as well🙏

Did any of you also suffer from a lot of head stuff?

I have constant pain in my head. It's not a nomal tension headache. It feels more like I have some iron pole inserted in my brain. It's always there, and gets worse during activities, e.g. just doing the dishes or talking to someone.

Hugs, Jørgen

[[...]]

Happy Saturday LadyDen.

 

Livelife, so glad you had a window.  More to come!

[[de...]]

Live:  I am thrilled for you......it is happening!  You have been so patient!   

 

LadyDen:  So glad you are having some better days!!!

 

[[Li...]]

Well everyone I did have a window night before last for 3 hours. But since then I've been worse than ever. Really really struggling!  I so wish this would end.

 

Decatur,

How are you doing?

 

Help! Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[...]]

Hang in there Live. You will have more.  I have had a few myself this past week but today I am struggling with really bad anxiety and nerve pain; all complimented with a side of mild depression.  Ugh. 

[[Li...]]

JBen,

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I hope things get better for you soon. Hugs!

 

LiveLife

[[jo...]]

Hi everyone,

So sorry for those of us in a real bad wave.

The burning nerve pain is just relentless for me.

I truly don’t understand why I’m so much worse it seems.

It feels like a blow torch against my head. I’ve had heat surges in my left leg and terrible muscle pain that I haven’t had before. The muscle pain is new.

 

My gosh, how much pain can a body take?? It’s torment from the pit of hell. I just want to run and get out of my skin! There is no escaping this. The Benzo bully is telling me that it looks like I’m not going to heal. I’m bullied so much my the bully because the burning is so bad. I’m not coping as well as I use to. I’m just exhausted with a broken spirit. My faith was always so strong, but I battle every day. It’s hard without family or support. Friends don’t understand and are too busy with their happy lives and holiday festivities. So sad to feel abandoned. 😢

 

I’m starting month 13 and I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t know what to do?

The CT truly hurt me, yet it was only 0.025 of Xanax for 7 months but prior to that I was on an ssri for 10 years, and had tapered 8 months earlier. I’ve got to do something to calm down my CNS from this burning but I don’t know what can be done? Maybe an SSRI woukd help? I already take gabapentin to help and it does help some, and I’ve tapered it a little and don’t want to increase. I don’t like being on it but it does help - some. I know I’ll have to taper it once I heal. I’ve seen others that used it for burning relief but at much higher dosages. The tinnitus hasn’t been as loud lately so that’s a plus.

If the burning would stop on my cranium I would buy everyone of you roses. 🌹

 

I’m sitting here with my feet in the tub of cold water and and ice pack around my neck.

I pray for mercy and healing but sadly I feel like God doesn’t hear my cries. I know He does though.

I’m at the bottom of the pit clawing my way to survive this hell on earth.

If I could but have one day of not burning!

My goodness I covet your prayers. The anxiety is raging because of the pain!

 

LiveLife, I’m so glad you had a window but am sorry the symptoms have returned. It’s so cruel.

Jorgen, I do know what you mean about the pipe in your head. I have that too on my left side. So very distressing. I pray the burning will cease for both of us.

JBen, I’m glad you’ve had some windows and pray your nerve pain and anxiety will resolve soon.

LadyDen, GG, and Decatur, I hope your good days will keep going forward; how wonderful for you.

 

This season is my favorite and I’m so sad that I’m not enjoying it. Friday was my last day at work so maybe the stress that I’ve been under for so long will help my CNS. I’m grateful for the severance pay for a year which gives me time.

 

Please pray that I can endure.

I love you all and am sending you peace and healing.

Bless you. 🙏💕🌸💙🤗

[[De...]]

Hi Jordan Jack,

I'm so sorry you have such intense symtoms. I am too. I'm nit on here much but pop in and out. Ive been of 14 months and my symtoms have been really intense to. The head pain pressure and so many others.  It's really normal for the symtoms to sometimes feel worse but are still healing. The bully always lies to us and its not true you will get better. Just take it day by day do the positive self talk and whatever you can. This has to ease up for us eventually. I get the with the holidays I feel pretty sad too. Everyone celebrating and here we are. Hopefully next year will be better for us. Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts

[[jo...]]

Hi Jordan Jack,

I'm so sorry you have such intense symtoms. I am too. I'm nit on here much but pop in and out. Ive been of 14 months and my symtoms have been really intense to. The head pain pressure and so many others.  It's really normal for the symtoms to sometimes feel worse but are still healing. The bully always lies to us and its not true you will get better. Just take it day by day do the positive self talk and whatever you can. This has to ease up for us eventually. I get the with the holidays I feel pretty sad too. Everyone celebrating and here we are. Hopefully next year will be better for us. Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts

 

Hi Dehytq2,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and thoughtfulness. I appreciate it so much!

I’m so sorry that you’re still suffering as well. Truly, this is just a horrible journey for many of us.

I suppose it woukd be easier if there were some windows for me to offer hope and comfort.

Do you have the burning as well? It just inconceivable the amount of pain that is felt.

I blame myself for not researching the Xanax but like many of us, I trusted my doctor.

 

To have the ongoing pain and thus the fear and anxiety, for so long really does break my spirit as I’ve tried to keep my faith that I willl heal. I pray this all eases up for both of us as well. This is my only support so I’m so very grateful for this forum family. I’m truly sorry for the journey you’ve had to endure. What symptoms do you have as well?  Please accept this big hug of thanks for touching me with your kind and encouraging words.

Bless you! 💕💕🙏

 

[[De...]]

Hi Jordanjack,

Thank,you so much for your kind words. This is such a long journey.  Don't blame yourself for not knowing the doctors don't even know. There's no way we could have ever known it could be this bad. I have alot of pain. My head it's insane but it has eased up a little. I did have burning and it was awful it will go away we just have to give it time. I understand thay feeling of not feeling like you can go on another day but somehow we do. I don't really have windows just eases in symtoms here and there and new ones pop up and out. Its just the way this goes its lon linear. Keep the faith cause it will happen. This is all I have to, as noone understands this but us. You will be ok. Just keep going and reach out when you need us. I have all kinds of weird stuff dpdr no feeling, head pain, body pain, gi stuff, I could go on and on. Your not alone 💕🙏

[[jo...]]

Hi Jordanjack,

Thank,you so much for your kind words. This is such a long journey.  Don't blame yourself for not knowing the doctors don't even know. There's no way we could have ever known it could be this bad. I have alot of pain. My head it's insane but it has eased up a little. I did have burning and it was awful it will go away we just have to give it time. I understand thay feeling of not feeling like you can go on another day but somehow we do. I don't really have windows just eases in symtoms here and there and new ones pop up and out. Its just the way this goes its lon linear. Keep the faith cause it will happen. This is all I have to, as noone understands this but us. You will be ok. Just keep going and reach out when you need us. I have all kinds of weird stuff dpdr no feeling, head pain, body pain, gi stuff, I could go on and on. Your not alone 💕🙏

 

Oh Dehytq2, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you are here. You are not alone either. You will find great support on this 12-24 month feed. The people here are so encouraging, just like you are.

I’m so grateful for your kindness and for replying to me.

Yes, these crazy symptoms are unlike anything one could imagine. I didn’t even know what a Benzo was before all this; I thought Xanax was just an anxiety tablet. I had no clue! So many of us trusted our docs.

 

I have new symptoms of muscle and bone aches; just in the past few weeks. Not sure what that is about. The anxiety and fear overwhelms me sometimes because of the physical pain. I don’t sleep very well. I don’t even like my bed because it reminds me of pain. I don’t understand all this stuff but the stories are so difficult; yet the success stories are so helpful. I have to try and hope that healing will come and just keep praying that renewed strength and health will soon be ours.

 

When we’re this far out, it’s so hard to not grow weary in the sufferings. It’s hard missing out on things and seeing friends just go on with their lives without much communication from them. That part has hurt too because the ones that I thought would stand close by has moved on after a 7 year close friendship. I do understand though, people have to fill their lives. But, I’m the type that will get in the weeds with you and walk closely until deliverance is done.

This journey has hard lessons for sure. Thanksgiving was super hard for me as I was alone and I’m so much pain. I lost my family members tragically years ago, thus the reason that I got on an AD at the time, so having the folks here encouraged me through it helped so much. I’m so very grateful for the support.

 

You have such great courage and strength, I can tell. Look at all you’ve overcome and still are.

I know you will continue to press on and bear this. Thank you for your great faith and like many here; the gift of encouragement! Thank you so much.

Bless you! You’re not alone either. 💕🙏💕

 

 

[[De...]]

Oh thank jordanjack,

 

That means is much to me. You sound like such a kind soul. I'm sorry about your friends and family. Its so hard being alone especially during the holidays. People just don't get thus and it's like they avoid us. My family doesn't really talk to me. It's kind of astonishing. I've had every each you name it. Your not alone but those things will heal up. We just have to think of them as signs of healing. We can do this.one day we will be able to do all thise things again. It's temporary even though it's long, jeez. Thank you so much for welcoming me here. It really d9es help to have others who understand. I hope you get some sleep tonight. Lots of love and bless you too

[[Pa...]]

Pain has been killing me lately. Hope you all are doing better than I am. Much love, keep fighting

[[De...]]

Thanks Pashi, me too my head is so heavy and weird. Needed that. Keep fighting 

[[Pa...]]

Thanks Pashi, me too my head is so heavy and weird. Needed that. Keep fighting 

You too. My head has been so heavy and weird for so long now, I forgot what it felt like before. Like I know we used to feel nothing, but it's hard to imagine now.

[[De...]]

Omg yes!! Exactly.  I was thinking of that too. It willso nice to have a normal head plus I have dpdr in.my head its so weird. It will get better ❤🙏