Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

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Hello buddies,

 

Happy Friday! I will do a cut today at noon and I hope it goes well. I am waiting for the pin to drop as I get lower in dose. Maybe I'll get lucky. My sleep was typical last night. I got a couple/few hours and the rest was, exactly that 'rest'. I dreamed, though, and feel like the sleep I did get was quality.

 

My GAD is mild right now. Let's hope it doesn't kick in anymore today.

 

Take care, everyone,

 

HM

 

Hello HM - I am glad you got some quality sleep even if it was only a few hours. 

 

Good luck on your cut today!  You are really moving fast and doing great!  That is awesome!  I am so happy for you!  Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones and not have issues once you get below 1 mg.  I hope that is the case for you!  I think the way you are dosing is helping you.

 

Hope you have a good Friday and are able to get more sleep tonight!

 

Hugs,

Julia 

 

 

[[Di...]]

Julia I'm sorry you didn't sleep well that makes for a long day.  Stomach issues and off balance are bad enough.  Maybe it's your body trying to catch up from the last cut and equaling out  of all your doses plus all the stress you've had.  I can sure relate to the stress.  Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

 

HM so glad you got some sleep and your GAD isn't to bad.  Good luck with your cut today you are doing so well.

 

I'm still trying to calm down from the past couple of weeks.  Somethings are better so that's a good thing still having anxiety and some stomach issues.

 

Hope everyone has as good a weekend as possible.

 

Hugs and prayers ❤

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Julia I'm sorry you didn't sleep well that makes for a long day.  Stomach issues and off balance are bad enough.  Maybe it's your body trying to catch up from the last cut and equaling out  of all your doses plus all the stress you've had.  I can sure relate to the stress.  Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

 

HM so glad you got some sleep and your GAD isn't to bad.  Good luck with your cut today you are doing so well.

 

I'm still trying to calm down from the past couple of weeks.  Somethings are better so that's a good thing still having anxiety and some stomach issues.

 

Hope everyone has as good a weekend as possible.

 

Hugs and prayers ❤

 

Hey Debbie,

Thank you!  I am a little better this afternoon.  I may try for a nap again.  lol  I am sure it is a combination of all those things.  I do plan to make a cut on Sunday, I need to keep moving forward.  I have been on this dose for 3 weeks now.  I think I am stable enough to make a cut.  The stress has made it alot harder - as you know! 

 

I hope this next week is better for you and that things get better.  You are going through so much right now!  I know it has to be hard.  You are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Hope you are having a better afternoon!

 

Love,

Julia

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Hey Baddove - was wondering how you are doing?  I hope you are better!

 

Prayers and hugs to you!

 

Laurie, Mary, HM - I hope you all are having a good day!

 

Love,

Julia 

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Hello everyone,

 

Just when I thought the stomach issues had passed, I have been plagued with bloating, gas pain.  I also have had an increase in anxiety.

 

Julia and Debbie, I read today that papaya is great for digestion.  I am going to get some tomorrow and give it a try!

 

HM-congratulations on your cut!  You are doing amazing…keep moving forward.

 

Marybeth, Mary and BD, hope you are all well.  I am praying for us all.

 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

[[He...]]

SS,

 

Sorry about your gas and bloating. I have mild gas and moderate constipation. I am always regular so this is a new symptoms that I don't like. I'm not in pain (yet) but I am not going like I should be.

 

Hope your papaya helps with your gas and bloating. When I was on my full dose of Xanax, I never had this problem. Only in withdrawal. I hope it ends at some point. It's no fun.

 

HM

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Gees me too.  Sometimes I feel great and then bang!  Mornings are the worst, back feels sore , gas and discomfort.  I am hoping this is all just benzo belly and resolves soon.  Very uncomfortable tonight..

[[Di...]]

Laurie I am so sorry you are having more stomach issues I hope the papaya works for you.

 

HM seems like it's one thing after another...this sure gets old.  Wish we had a time machine.

 

Julia glad you are feeling better this afternoon.  I feel like I need to move forward also I have been at the same dose for 2 weeks I may try to move slowly tomorrow.

 

Prayers for everyone.

 

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Thanks for the tip Laurie. Let us know if it helps you. Sorry about the gas and bloating. I have an increase in gas too, usually at night. This is all so strange and uncomfortable!! Hope it gets better for you!!

 

Debbie- thank you!! Take your time on your cut- you've been through a lot recently and are still dealing with so much. If you decide to cut, I hope you do well. It's been 3 weeks for me but I wasn't ready to cut with all I had going on.

 

Take care all. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for us.

 

Love,

Julia ♥️

[[ba...]]

typing with 1 hand.

 

I'm sorry everyone's tummy is off.

 

I have been in bed a lot with this injury. I cut 2 cm off my left bird finger. Can't get it wet, so hubby is doing the chores, like dishes. I have yet to shower. Going to call a hairdresser to wash my hair for me.

 

Last night I was having the weirdest panic attack, and it lasted for hours. I got really scared that I might of overdosed on my pain med since I took 2 tablets . Called my pharmacist and he said the noon pain med was long out of my system, and my body was most likely reacting to being on an antibiotic, oxy, and my reg meds. He said I wasn't a very big person , and all the meds on top of the injury were messing with me. He is always supportive, even though he knows I can panic over drugs. He does not pill shame me the way other providers do. He always stocks greenstone xanax for me, and answers all my questions about meds (like antibiotics,) without getting ruffled. I suspect he has anxiety issues, because he suggests certain calming techniques if I am freaking out.

 

I'm holding at my cut, not the time to do anything. I have to get through the antibiotics, then come down off the oxy. Sounds like everyone is tapering very cautiously, good for you.

 

No one in these groups tries to push us to taper faster, but people in the real world do. My therapist, who is not my prescriber, thinks I am going too slow. He really doesn't understand how acute and pervasive wd is. My pdoc says my body doesn't feel any different between a dose cut by .16.or even .25. Neither is demanding anything, they just don't get it. Thinking about that as I read through some posts. Fortunately, my pdoc lets me pace my taper as I chose too. He thinks I am anal about making small cuts, using a scale and timing my doses. He knows by now I wont take any new meds, and has quit suggesting them.

 

I refused to get floxed per this injury, when the ER nurse was going over my allergies, and they were all fluorquinalones. She asked what was wrong with a fluoroquinilone. I said I couldn't remember, but it made me unbearably ill, and I couldn't finish it. The cephalexin is the easiest antibiotic I have been on. The ER doc was more understanding. She did insist I finish the 5 days of the antibiotic, however, and not stop if it made me miserable.

 

My health providers have  such a different perspective on this looking on from the outside then I do as someone going through wd. It's interesting. They can think I am obsessive all they want, but I  will continue being cautious and refusing any meds I don't absolutely need. When I was at the Er, the doc was preparing to put a bunch of injections in my finger to numb it before removing the severed section of finger and the nail. I wanted to know what was in the shot. It had a stimulant in it, forget what, and I said I have anxiety, I don't want a stimulant. She said it wouldn't cross the blood/brain barrier. I also refused an IV because it had some benzo in it. But I was very nice about it, I don't want to cross a doctor, but I do want control over what goes in my body.

 

So I totally see how from their perspective I  seem obsessive and anal about medication. I don't care, I can understand why they think that way.

 

Just food for thought this morning.

 

I will add I have been constipated since this started (antibiotic, oxy) I am eating prunes every time I think about it. I'm also eating 3 times a day to have food in me when I take the antibiotic, not much, but just enough not to have an empty stomach. I usually only have 1 meal in the evening.  I just took some Senna, it doesn't affect me in negative way, and I doubt 1 dose will get things moving, but it's time to do more than prunes, and I wont take a conventional laxative, they are too intense.

 

Still don't feel well enough to drive or go anywhere, so things like getting groceries are at a standstill. I see the ortho for a check on my finger in a week and a half. I have a dentist apt. the 28th that will involve getting 6 teeth filled, 1 root canal and one crown. Thinking of cancelling, but another part of me just wants it done. I have to think about it a bit more.

 

Hope everyone is finding some joy, some peace, and even humor today as we go through another day of climbing the mountain of coping as we work on our recovery.

 

Loves to all

 

 

[[He...]]

BD,

 

Thank you for updating us on your situation. It's nice to hear from you. I'm sorry you injured your finger and dealing with judgement regarding being anal about drugs you ingest and your taper but it's your body and you know what you're doing. I am also dealing with constipation as part of my WD issues so I feel your pain there. I can see why cutting would be low priority right now as you deal with your injury. First things first. If you go to your dental appointment, what can they give you to calm you down? I wonder about that for the next time I need dental work. If you go, I hope the appointment goes OK.

 

My biggest issue continues to be sleep. I have severe insomnia that is there no matter how much Xanax I do or don't take. I slept some last night and what little I got felt good.

 

Thank you, again, for updating us. You are in my prayers. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

 

HM

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BD,

 

Ouch!!  My goodness, I can’t imagine how overwhelming that situation was.  I would have asked all the same questions and also refused the IV.  We sometimes forget ultimately we make the final decision on our care.  I’m sorry you have to suffer more with an antibiotic.

 

It is best you hold and get past all this.  You pace is perfect and now more and more providers are recognizing that slow and patient based tapers are more successful.  They have on idea how much we suffer and what a day feels like after a significant cut.

 

You are in my prayers too, stay strong!!! 

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Hi Baddove - I am so sorry you are in pain and dealing with so much right now.  I think you are doing all the right things and I believe resting and just taking care of yourself is what is best for you!  I am glad you stood your ground and did not take just any medication they wanted to throw at you.  That is of course how some of us got in trouble to start with. 

 

You are so strong and I know you will be better soon.  That is my prayer for you!  Thank you for letting us know how you are doing.  You did great typing with one hand! 

 

Please take care and know you are in my prayers and my thoughts!  Love you! 

 

HM - So sorry you are still dealing with insomnia - that really is a hard one to deal with day in and day out.  Sleep is so important.  I hope yours improves soon!!

 

Laurie - I hope your issues get better too!  It is always something.  I am going to make a cut tomorrow and hope it goes well.  Take care!

 

Debbie - I hope you are doing better with your stomach and anxiety today!!!

 

Mary - I hope you are still having a window and are doing well! 

 

Love you all,

Julia  :smitten:

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Julia,

 

Tomorrow I am making a cut as well, I will be down 87.5 percent.  We are very close, I am just behind you.  I suspect the majority of us are now starting acute withdrawal as sx’s are really surfacing (at least for me anyway).

 

Thinking of you all and hoping next week is better for everyone.  Hugs

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Julia,

 

Tomorrow I am making a cut as well, I will be down 87.5 percent.  We are very close, I am just behind you.  I suspect the majority of us are now starting acute withdrawal as sx’s are really surfacing (at least for me anyway).

 

Thinking of you all and hoping next week is better for everyone.  Hugs

Hey Laurie - That is great that you are making a cut tomorrow and will be at 87.5%.  We are getting there!  I think the WD symptoms will be there to and after the end for a while but I am hoping they are not too bad for us. 

 

I too hope next week will be a better week.

 

Take care.

Love,

Julia 

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

BD thank you for letting us know how you are doing.  I am sorry you are having so much pain hoping it heals quickly.  I admire your strength.

 

Julia good luck with your cut tomorrow praying your symptoms subside.  My stomach was better today and I've had a pretty good evening with my family I prayed and prayed all day that I would have a window tonight and the Lord answered.  I am so thankful and grateful.

 

HM praying you get better sleep tonight.

 

Laurie I am so sorry that you are having more stomach issues and the anxiety I know is awful.  Praying you feel better tomorrow.

 

Mary and Marybeth hope today was good for you both.

 

Hugs and love to everyone ❤

[[He...]]

Hello ladies,

 

  So far my cut from yesterday hasn't affected my stability. I feel the same as I did before. I had some GAD today but I always have that and, of course, my ever present insomnia doesn't change no matter what I take. I hope I get a little extra (for me) tonight

 

 

Hoping you're all doing as well as can be expected. It's Saturday night for me, so hope you all had a good day.

 

TTYT

 

HM

[[Wo...]]

Hi ladies! I’m sorry I was MIA for the last day or so. I’m doing ok, but the great window I had has slowly gone down some. I’m not terrible, but I’m not as great as I was, and I suspect it’s because I’ve been pushing my taper boundaries. I pushed hard to get to 80% down with 20% left to go. I’m at 0.05mg now. I told my husband today that seems like a measly amount but yet my body still needs the damn stuff to not be so sick. Crazy! I sleep through the night and take my first dose when I wake up vs. waking up at 3am and taking it. I like that much better I think. I then just back up the other three doses throughout the day. I think Julia was right in a message to me in saying I maybe don’t need the dose while I’m sleeping as much as I need them throughout the day. Today I was exhausted! Even after a full nights sleep. I laid in bed until early afternoon. I told my husband I was about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop! Lol 😂 He of course is a saint and said just lay in bed and watch your shark shows. Rest is what you need to keep fighting to the end to get off this crap. He’s way too good to me. I can tell the end is coming by the way some things are better and by the way some symptoms are worse. I cannot wait to take my last dose and then give it the middle finger as I flush the crap down the toilet where it belongs! My current symptoms are super tired and sleepy (sorry HM, I wish I could send that to you), sweating, itching, burning nerves, constipation, weak and rubber like limbs, a little lack of appetite. But besides those there are some that are also so much better. I feel,like I look like I’ve aged a hundred years from this taper process! My hubby assures me I’m beautiful but he’d say that anyway! 

 

Baddove, I’m so sorry about your finger! Ouch! My hubby just got his in a skill saw a month ago and was not good! Uff da, can’t imagine your pain. Good for you for advocating for yourself and limiting the medications you will take. I don’t blame you. I hope you start to recover and heal up fast. Best thing is for you to hold right now and get past this first. Good luck with the dentist. I go for a teeth cleaning Wednesday. Such joy! 🙄

 

HM, I sure wish you could get some sleep. I keep telling the sandman to get his butt to your house! Lol However, bravo on your cut going well. You are doing so great and are well on your way to getting closer to being done!

 

Julia! Whoa!!!!! WAY TO GO! Look at you! Only 12% left! You are screaming at that finish line my friend! So proud of you! Im glad you were able to make a cut and move forward! Love you special lady!

 

Laurie, you are also AMAZING!! 87.5% down! You also are barking on the heels of the finish line! Proud of you! I’m sorry your stomach bothers you. I hope soon that lets up and is a distant memory for you.

 

Debbie, I’m so glad you had a window and God is indeed a promise keeper and answers those prayers! You deserve a happy moment. Thinking and praying for you!

 

MaryBeth, I hope you are doing good! I miss you and am sending you hugs!

 

As always ladies you are all amazing, strong, beautiful, resilient warriors whom I adore and love. Keep fighting the good fight and know I’m behind you in your corner rooting you on always!

 

Love and hugs,

Mary  :smitten:

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Mary,

 

I’m experiencing a lot of the same sx’s, and the stomach stuff too.  Last night the sweating was off the charts.  I am taking it as healing, no complaints.

 

I got a chuckle about giving the middle finger to your last dose, I feel exactly the same!  I am also very weak and find myself laying down often.

 

We will all get there.  Hugs

[[Wo...]]

Mary,

 

I’m experiencing a lot of the same sx’s, and the stomach stuff too.  Last night the sweating was off the charts.  I am taking it as healing, no complaints.

 

I got a chuckle about giving the middle finger to your last dose, I feel exactly the same!  I am also very weak and find myself laying down often.

 

We will all get there.  Hugs

 

You are right, we will get there! I think it’s healing too. We are getting so close now! Won’t be long and we’ll be crossing the finish line in chariots of fire style! Lol 😜 Hugs back at ya! 

[[to...]]

Hi everyone,

BD thank you for letting us know how you are doing.  I am sorry you are having so much pain hoping it heals quickly.  I admire your strength.

 

Julia good luck with your cut tomorrow praying your symptoms subside.  My stomach was better today and I've had a pretty good evening with my family I prayed and prayed all day that I would have a window tonight and the Lord answered.  I am so thankful and grateful.

 

HM praying you get better sleep tonight.

 

Laurie I am so sorry that you are having more stomach issues and the anxiety I know is awful.  Praying you feel better tomorrow.

 

Mary and Marybeth hope today was good for you both.

 

Hugs and love to everyone ❤

 

Hi Debbie - I am so glad you had a window last night, I know you needed one!  That is great! 

Thank you - I am going to cut from my 3rd dose today so we shall see how it goes!!!  Hoping it goes well.  Started the day off with not feeling well as I did not get alot of sleep last night and my stomach is bothering me but I am going to try to make this cut and move forward.  Sometimes if I wait too long to make a cut, when I do make one, it gets better.  I am hoping this is the case.

 

Praying your window continues.

 

Love,

Julia 

[[to...]]

Hello ladies,

 

  So far my cut from yesterday hasn't affected my stability. I feel the same as I did before. I had some GAD today but I always have that and, of course, my ever present insomnia doesn't change no matter what I take. I hope I get a little extra (for me) tonight

 

 

Hoping you're all doing as well as can be expected. It's Saturday night for me, so hope you all had a good day.

 

TTYT

 

HM

 

HM - I really am glad you are doing good with your cut and I hope it continues for you!  I also hope you got some sleep last night!

 

Take care.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

[[to...]]

Hi Mary - I am sorry that you are not as well as you were but I agree with you and Laurie about healing taking place.  Our brain and CNS is amazing since it can and does adjust to each and every cut we have made.  We will get there.

 

You have an awesome husband, mine says and does the same things.  He has always told me that any time I need to lay down or not do something because I do not feel well, to do it. He gets that this is hard and is so supportive and encouraging.  We are blessed.

 

I hope you will feel better today!  I am also so proud of you!  80% down is awesome!  I hope the last 10% will go quick for you!!

 

Love you and appreciate you!!!

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

[[He...]]

Mary, Sorry you feel like you can't get out of bed but glad you're sleeping all night. I am also glad you have your loving husband to help you

Julia, I know you see that finish line and can't wait to get all this behind you. I hope your symptoms drop off so you are inspired for your cut.

Debbie, I'm happy that you were blessed with a window and I hope there are many more where that came from.

BD, I am praying for your speedy recovery and hoping your symptoms stay at bay as you hold while you heal.

SS, I am sorry you are having the stomach issues and sweating but appreciate your positive attitude that it's all just part of your healing.

Marybeth, I hope you are hanging in there OK. Give us an update when you get a chance.

 

I am doing the same. The bad news is; my sleep continues to be bad. I slept twice last night, briefly and had a couple good dreams. The good news is; I am relatively (aside from insomnia and GAD) stable with my cuts. I tend to wake up, when I do sleep, with anxiety. I usually am (involuntarily) having some ruminating thoughts about past pain.

 

Hope everyone is having the best Sunday they can have,

 

HM

[[Lo...]]

Hi everyone! 

 

Holy cow I missed a lot! Sorry I haven't been on.  Accidentally left my power cord at my sisters a few weeks ago and just got it back this morning.  It's going to take me a bit to read over everything from the past 2 weeks and catch up.

 

Last cut has been horrible!  No words.  I'll be holding here for quite a bit.  I probably did it too quickly and I'm not making another cut anytime soon.  So much is going on with my parents, my sister, ... ugh.. when it rains it pours! 

 

I scoured the site (and the internet) to see if anyone is having the muscle rigidity that I've been plagued with since I got under 1 milligram well over a year ago (before the updose and hold) because with every reduction, it's downright paralyzing.  The last reduction did me in!  I'm in so much pain! Trust me, if the average person felt this bad they'd be off to a doctor in a panic that they had MS, or ALS.  Even my intestines are in a full spasm mode that only relaxes if I sleep. 

 

Low and behold I found this on the internet....

 

___________________________________________________

 

Body Aches, Pains, Muscle Stiffness and Soreness

 

Many people state this is the most difficult part of benzo withdrawal. Common areas for intense pain are the neck, shoulders, arms and legs. Muscle spasms, twitching, vibrations, tightness, are frequently reported. In isolated cases, this symptom was so severe that the sufferer was misdiagnosed with Multiple sclerosis (MS).

 

It’s one of the most problematic aspects of withdrawal due to extreme physical discomfort.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Apparently only about 10% are the "isolated cases" like myself, and there's not much you can do for it. 

 

 

 

Will type more when I have a chance to read through all the threads and everyone's posts.

 

Love, hugs and prayers to all!

 

Love,

Lori