Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[He...]]

After tapering methodically for 3 years, I’ve realized what a toll it’s taken on my body! I’ve lost all muscle tone (atrophy) and gained some unwanted pounds.

 

Last night I decided to do the “August 30 for 30” challenge. It’s 30 days of 30 minutes of any type of exercise you choose. If you’re new like me, simply walking at your own pace for 30 minutes will do. It’s a great way to start the process without the goal being too much stress on our already stressed bodies.

 

I did my 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill today (raining outside). Would love to have a few Buddies to join me! Let me know if you’re in!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

PS: I started a thread for this over in General Health and Well Being section. Jump on over if you want to participate.

 

I wish I could! But I just don't feel like I am ready yet. I need to be sleeping better. Maybe soon:) Enjoy! I hope lot's of people participate.

 

HM

[[Lo...]]

Trust me, this is huge for me! I honestly was t sure if I could do it. I was a little anxious on the treadmill but I read a book while doing it. Not sure if I absorbed a shred of the story but it helped keep me from overthinking every symptom that arose from getting my heart rate up a little.

 

Exercise can literally be just laying on the floor doing some leg lifts. Resting, and doing a few more. This is by no means meant to be strenuous. I can’t do strenuous anything just yet. I probably should have stressed that. Lol.

 

This is simply me being worried about all this sitting/laying around for 3 years and trying to find a way to make sure I’m moving a bit.

 

Hoping I can stick with it.

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[He...]]

I understand. You're saying it's extremely gentle exercise. Maybe I can join in. I'll try.  I don't have a treadmill but I might be able to go for a half hour walk every day. I'll see. I also have a set of exercise bands and I could use them for half an hour. Maybe it will help my sleep. I doubt it but you never know.

[[Lo...]]

HM,

 

If you saw me walking today you would have laughed!…. I swear that my 79 year old mother probably walks faster! Nevertheless, I felt good about myself for even doing it! 

 

I’m honestly dumbfounded about how much this taper has affected my body and most especially the complete muscle atrophy over the past 3 years! My thought process is not to try to build muscle back right now because that would be far too taxing. But to just move those muscles, and get them accustomed to moving a bit so that when I can finally exercise again (might be 6 months away), it won’t be a horrible jolt to my system.

 

Tomorrow I’m just going to lay on the floor and do some leg lifts and stretches. If I don’t do a full 30 minutes, I’ll try to go for a walk for the remaining time. Again, this was my way of motivating myself to just “move”. Zero pressure to actually break a sweat! Lol!

 

The well being thread is pretty dead. I didn’t expect much of a response. I’ve never even been on it in the three years I’ve been tapering but i was t sure where to post. And I knew it was a long shot that people in recovery would want to start exercising. I certainly would have never looked or joined in the past.

 

Three of my girlfriends are doing it with me but I honestly don’t feel like comparing notes with them! I feel like an old lady in comparison. 🥴

 

Oh, and for what it’s worth, i ended up taking a 1.5 hour nap this afternoon! No idea if it’s related… but I haven’t napped in months! It felt nice! But now I’m stressing over whether I’ll sleep tonight. Ugh!

 

Let me know if you decide to do it. Hope you’re having a nice evening!

 

Lori

[[He...]]

Congrats on your exercise and your nap! I haven't napped in years. Even before my night time insomnia, I couldn't sleep during the day because I have relied on a pill to sleep for so long. I think tomorrow I'll try using my exercise bands for 30 minutes and see if I can do it. They're not very "heavy" so more for light toning than actually building muscle.

 

Anyway, congrats again! Have a great night:)

 

HM

[[Lo...]]

And here I am at 1:15 am still wide awake!  I'm not sure whether I should be grateful for that nap or curse it. 

 

Hopefully you're sleeping!  (Prayers)

 

This is awful! 

 

L

[[He...]]

I wasn't sleeping. I just 'rested' all night and was relatively comfortable but didn't sleep. I tried Unisom last night, too, and it didn't work for me.

 

I am still having a good day today. I refuse not to!

 

HM

[[30...]]

hi everyone -- looks like I'll be joining this group.  thanks for having me.  I am DLMT from 1.5 to .65 of Xanax over the last year.  I use a tiny one ml of vodka to dissolve my pills and then add in (right now 560ml of water) and pull out to get my result.  it has been a pretty easy taper for me until this past February.  prior to my starting my taper my doctor put me on 15mg of remeron to help with sleep/appetite and on massive doses of what are called Hardy Nutritionals (vitamins and amino acids) --- well, in February blood work came back and my B6 was near toxic range - reached out to my doc and told her I would be coming off them.  Since doing so (tapered over four months) I am now basically house bound, had to stop working, terrible depression, intrusive thoughts, agitation, anxiety ---- it has been terrible. I reached out to the company and one of their scientists called me back and said that their nutrients are designed to potentiate psychotropic meds (my Xanax, for example) by up to to 3 to 5x.  Thus, when I came off them my body experienced potentially an enormous "drop" -- so all of my hard work to do a turtle paced 7% a month DLMT has been for nothing and I am now in this hell.

I am now going to just hold for a long time to see if my body can catch up.  over the last five months I have only reduced 14% but pulled away those ten vitamins and six amino acids -- so no telling how much my body feels it has actually dropped.  needless to say, my CNS is shot to hell.

 

so, had a couple questions -- I dose four times a day -- and don't have typical interdose (I am not SO MUCH more uncomfortable before each dose) but am wondering if maybe I should updose to .75 and split my doses so I am taking it six times a day to keep the serum more stable?

 

how often are you guys dosing?  anyone else taper too fast or do something in their taper that caused a setback where they had to hold for a long time to even out? thanks guys

[[He...]]

Hi 300,

  Welcome:) I am sorry you had the issue with the nutritional supplements and are now suffering more WD symptoms. As far as dosing, I do a liquid taper where nothing is wasted and I dose 6 times a day to avoid interdose WD but I think most people on here dose 4 times a day or maybe even 3 times. Good for you for deciding to hold for a while. I am holding right now because my last cut was too much and I had to upsode, so I am holding an extra week.

 

Welcome, again:) It's a great group we have here.

 

Happy Monday:)

 

HM

[[30...]]

hi heart,

so you increased your dosing as well -- how have you felt since updosing a bit and going to six times a day -- that is exactly what I am considering -- updosing to .75 or to .8 and then dosing six times a day to maybe help with anxiety.  were you having just anxiety right before you dosed or did you get to a point where you were just anxious all of the time on it? 

 

I feel pretty bad most of the day but since I don't know how much to updose to --- I am thinking just enough to cover going from four to six doses - what do you think?

[[He...]]

My biggest problem was anxiety and I went back to 6 doses a day from 4 and it helped me. Maybe try that and see if it works for you. It helped my anxiety.

 

HM

[[30...]]

heart -- did dosing six times feel better than dosing four times? 

[[30...]]

hey guys-

question for you --- I am thinking about switching from dosing four times a day to dosing six times a day ( I do a liquid taper so easy to make that change).......I thought about updosign at the same time but that is adding in an additional variable.  my concern is that going from dosing from four to six times a day will register as a significant "drop" ---- has anyone found that to be the case?

[[Lo...]]

I wasn't sleeping. I just 'rested' all night and was relatively comfortable but didn't sleep. I tried Unisom last night, too, and it didn't work for me.

 

I am still having a good day today. I refuse not to!

 

HM

 

I hope your day went okay!  I was in the same boat.  Not sure why insomnia has come back but it's really a drain! 

I failed miserably on my exercise today.  LOL!  So much for my brainy idea, right?  However, I'm determined to do the walking again tomorrow.  How did you make out? 

 

Hope today was better and that sleep actually happens tonight!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

hey guys-

question for you --- I am thinking about switching from dosing four times a day to dosing six times a day ( I do a liquid taper so easy to make that change).......I thought about updosign at the same time but that is adding in an additional variable.  my concern is that going from dosing from four to six times a day will register as a significant "drop" ---- has anyone found that to be the case?

 

Hi 300!

 

Welcome to the group! 

 

As far as dosing goes, I've always dosed 4 times per day so I honestly can't help you with that.  I wish I could  However, I don't see how it can hurt to give it a try. 

 

For years dosing 4 times worked fine for me.  The lower I get in my dose, the more I notice that symptoms really start to kick in if I go past the 4 hour mark so I can truly see how dosing more often could be beneficial.  For me to try to break up such a small total dose into more than 4 would be difficult because I'm dry cutting.  Please let us know what you decide and how you make out.

 

So sorry to hear of your issues with the supplements!  Holy cow!.... I had no idea that they could become so toxic.  Thank God it was caught!  But I feel badly that it had such a negative affect on what was otherwise a relatively smooth taper.  Hoping that things level out for you!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

PS:  I wrote more in my PM response to you. 

 

[[30...]]

hi group,

I feel bad during the morning and day and then begin to feel a bit better around 9pm in the evening.  I am wondering if that is just me or if that is common in withdrawal.

thanks

[[Lo...]]

Hi 300

 

Morning anxiety and symptoms are very common.  However it can vary from person to person and also throughout the taper process.

 

Mornings were terrible for me for the first year or so, then it got better in the mornings but worse after I ate dinner.

 

It’s totally normal.

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[se...]]

Lori,

 

How are you?  Are you making a cut this week?  I am suffering pretty severe abdominal pain, particularly gallbladder pain.

[[Lo...]]

Lori,

 

How are you?  Are you making a cut this week?  I am suffering pretty severe abdominal pain, particularly gallbladder pain.

 

I have no idea how I missed this!  But it's irrelevant now since you jumped!  Woo-hoo!  Again, so incredibly happy for you!!

 

 

No cuts for me until I return from the beach after Labor Day.  Then... let the games begin again.  UGH!

 

[[se...]]

Thank you for the well wishes Lori.  I am glad you are  at the beach and enjoying a break from all this.  There is no doubt you will succeed, you are almost there!

[[Lo...]]

Thanks, Laurie! 

 

I've been enjoying this time away from home.  The change of scenery has been so refreshing!  Unfortunately today is so darn hot that it's not even worth sitting on the beach.  It's the dreaded "land breeze"  today which means a ton of flies on top of the sweltering heat!  LOL! 

 

I've been meaning to ask you how your thyroid symptoms are?  I have a follow up appointment with my Endocrinologist next month.  Granted, he wasn't much help the first time around but I'm hoping for a miracle I guess.  I did cut out all gluten about 3 weeks ago and have seen a very minor improvement in symptoms.  Again, minor!  I still have to have the blood work redone but I've been putting it off for some reason. 

 

Keep me posted if your symptoms get better as time goes by ... I'm really curious to see if any of your thyroid symptoms begin to improve while you're healing post taper.  I certainly hope that's the case!

 

And once again, CONGRATULATIONS!!

 

Fondly,

Lori (MB)

 

[[se...]]

Lori,

 

I’m struggling with really bad inflammation and continue to have spots of petechiae/purpura.  My doctor is clueless as my labs look normal.  I have an appointment on Monday so we will discuss it further.  I think I may have Lupus, who knows?!

 

My TSH is at 4, I am right on the verge of being hypo, I may try medication to see if this helps with the continued symptoms, dry hair, dry skin, inflammation, and the list goes on.  I just want to get this under control.

 

I also have the GI stuff still going on.  I am meeting with a surgeon about my gallbladder on the 13th.  I’m not sure if I will go through with a surgery, I think the last episode may have been withdrawal.

 

What can I say. I am a mess.  With all that negative stuff, I did get out for a drive today and sang at the top of my lungs, haven’t done that in 16 months!

 

I hope you are doing ok, how are your symptoms?

[[Lo...]]

Lori,

 

I’m struggling with really bad inflammation and continue to have spots of petechiae/purpura.  My doctor is clueless as my labs look normal.  I have an appointment on Monday so we will discuss it further.  I think I may have Lupus, who knows?!  So sorry to hear about the inflammation, etc.

I know the feeling as well as the frustration with doctors.  What makes you think that you have Lupus?  I ask because my Mom has it.  She was diagnosed in her late 30's.  With hers it tends to rear it's head with flareups that usually last between 1-3 days.  She has the butterfly rash and it gets much more noticeable during a flareup. In fact, my parents were just with me at the beach for the last 4 days and she had one here.  It affects her breathing and of course she gets very fatigued.  When the flareup goes away she's usually pretty good for awhile.  I hope you don't have this!

 

My TSH is at 4, I am right on the verge of being hypo, I may try medication to see if this helps with the continued symptoms, dry hair, dry skin, inflammation, and the list goes on.  I just want to get this under control.  Honestly, if my doctor offered medication I'd go for it just to try it out.  Over the years I've heard of many people who encountered thyroid issues during their taper only to be tested a year later and it resolved.  I guess my thought process on this is "go ahead and give me the meds.  If it helps relieve some of these awful symptoms, then I'll take a low dose!  If my some miracle everything goes away after the taper, I'll stop the meds then." 

 

I also have the GI stuff still going on.  I am meeting with a surgeon about my gallbladder on the 13th.  I’m not sure if I will go through with a surgery, I think the last episode may have been withdrawal. I'm sorry for being behind and missing this!  What exactly did they say was wrong and what are they planning to do with surgery?  Removing the gallbladder?  Again, my mom had this two!  Not kidding!  She had hers removed in her early 40's.

The woman has had everything!  LOL  I was tested many years ago (I think it was called a hydascan?  I remember that they told me that mine was a big sluggish but that ultimately it functioned but to keep an eye on it over the years.  I honestly totally forgot about this until you mentioned yours!

I don't get any pain and my mom swears that I'd know if it wasn't working because the pain was horrible!  I'm so sorry that you're going through this as well! 

 

What can I say. I am a mess.  With all that negative stuff, I did get out for a drive today and sang at the top of my lungs, haven’t done that in 16 months!  I love this!!  I love the feeling and what it represents!  Good for you!  It's so funny that driving in my car listening to music and singing as if I can actually carry a tune is my go-to on the rare days when I feel "normal" so I totally get it!  There's something so freeing about it!  I have a great mental picture of you doing this and it made me smile! 

 

I hope you are doing ok, how are your symptoms? I'm still really struggling with the same stuff.  Muscles tense up and become rigid as well as all the thyroid symptoms.  As far as the muscle stuff, I'm pretty convinced that it's the taper.  A few weeks ago, I got so frustrated because I had been in bed all day in so much pain that at 10:30 at night I was in tears, screamed "F it" to the air, and did something that's against the "rule book" on here and took a .25 mg tablet and washed it down with a sip of water, chastised myself, rolled over and went to sleep!  Well I slept 7 1/2 hours, woke to zero muscle issues, no pain whatsoever, and ran out of the house to the store, post office, dry cleaner, nail salon, and felt more "normal" than I had in a long time!  Every single symptom was GONE!  I resumed my usual dose for the remainder of the day and by 8:00 pm, everything came back.  That can't be a coincidence.  Trust me, it played with my head.... boy was it tempting to say "to hell with this taper, I just want to feel like this everyday... you know like a "normal" person.  But of course I went right back to my scheduled taper dose.  In a sense it was a relief to know that it's the taper and in the same breath it was disheartening that this drug can do so much damage!  It's criminal.

 

Please keep me posted on how things go with your thyroid appointment.  I'm so curious to hear if you ultimately opt for the medication and if so, if it helps.  Hang in there and good luck with your appointments!!!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Di...]]

hi group,

I feel bad during the morning and day and then begin to feel a bit better around 9pm in the evening.  I am wondering if that is just me or if that is common in withdrawal.

thanks

 

Hi 300,

I'm feel the same way most days too.  It must be withdrawals.

 

❤

[[He...]]

Hi guys

 

I hope everyone is doing well. My anxiety and insomnia had me bed-bound and useless for a while. I am doing a little better now so I feel like I can post. Hopefully, I will be able to post a little more frequently now.

 

I see that many of you are getting down in your doses. That's awesome. I am tolerating being down to .12mg day pretty well but I am treading lightly, just in case.

 

Happy Monday, everyone,

 

HM