Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

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Wow,

 

Is it safe to say there has been a lot of grief and heartbreak expressed here over the last few months?  Death, divorce, addiction etc.  Who needs therapy, there is nothing this group has not worked through.

 

I feel blessed to be trusted enough to hear these very detailed painful situations.  This allows each of us to grow through another’s experience.  What amazes me the most is how each of (us) have placed these situations and chose to move forward regardless how difficult and painful the road has been. 

 

I’ve learned that each of you have such a unique strength!  I agree that god has brought us together for a reason.  I will pray for each of you.

 

Love to all…

 

Hi Laurie - I agree with all that you said!  What I find amazing is that none of us here have met but we are so compassionate and caring and understanding to each other - that is something that other than my husband, I do not get anywhere else.  Today has been rough and is every year, no one in my family has called me today and it hurts.  But - I am ok.  I have all of you!

 

I had no intention of sharing all of what i did but it felt right and I felt safe in doing so.  I also felt like I could open my heart and know you all care! 

 

We are a special group of people!  You never know what someone else has been through or what they are currently going through but we have a common goal and that is encouraging and supporting each other to get through this nightmare with benzo's and whatever else comes along the way.

 

Thank you for your prayers and I also pray for you!  You are special and your being here and always posting is a gift to me and I am sure to others!

 

Love,

Julia  :smitten:

[[se...]]

Julia, you are so sweet.  My sister really disappointed me today.  As you know, my daughter and I have Hashimoto’s disease.  My sister is having a family get together in August (I have six sisters).  I told her I am feeling more comfortable going out with others as long as they are vaccinated reducing my risk of getting sick.  The last thing I need is an antibiotic and I am allergic to Benadryl and Prednisone.  She proceeded to tell me she and all her adult children do not believe in the vaccination and do not intend to vaccinate.  She said I should probably not attend. I feel that it is more about her beliefs on politics /vaccination.  If my sister needed a kidney I would be there asking where to sign up.  I don’t think she can see past her position on the vaccination to even consider my health at the moment or anything I have been through.  I have elected not to go. 

 

I have decided that there will always be disappointment at some point in everyone’s life.  We have to place it and move forward.  Please know you are not alone in your struggles, we all have them.  I’m going to pray for her instead.

 

Hugs to all..

[[Di...]]

Julia and BD you are both amazing ladies.  I am so sorry for all of your pain.  I agree with everything Laurie said.

 

Love to you all ❤

[[to...]]

Julia, you are so sweet.  My sister really disappointed me today.  As you know, my daughter and I have Hashimoto’s disease.  My sister is having a family get together in August (I have six sisters).  I told her I am feeling more comfortable going out with others as long as they are vaccinated reducing my risk of getting sick.  The last thing I need is an antibiotic and I am allergic to Benadryl and Prednisone.  She proceeded to tell me she and all her adult children do not believe in the vaccination and do not intend to vaccinate.  She said I should probably not attend. I feel that it is more about her beliefs on politics /vaccination.  If my sister needed a kidney I would be there asking where to sign up.  I don’t think she can see past her position on the vaccination to even consider my health at the moment or anything I have been through.  I have elected not to go. 

 

I have decided that there will always be disappointment at some point in everyone’s life.  We have to place it and move forward.  Please know you are not alone in your struggles, we all have them.  I’m going to pray for her instead.

 

Hugs to all..

 

Hi Laurie - I am so sorry your sister is putting politics before caring about you and your daughter's condition.  It is sad that they will not get vaccinated.  I totally understand not wanting to risk getting sick and being allergic to the meds that would help if you could take them.  I can not take prednisone either as I am also allergic to that - thank you xanax!! 

 

Thank you Laurie for being there and I definitely know I am not alone!  Life can be hard and I agree that we will all have disappointments and I like that you have chosen to pray for your sister, that is what I do with mine.  I try very hard to not let how they behave and the choices they make affect me although sometimes it is hard! I also have a sister that has decided that herself and husband 60 and 67, are not going to be vaccinated and while she says it is because she does not think they are safe, I believe it is all political for her too.  She goes to my other sisters house sometimes and that sister has medical issues and her husband has a heart condition that there is no treatment for at this time and it is dangerous for him to be around others that are not vaccinated or sick.  It is sad that some people do not realize that being vaccinated is not all about protecting themselves but also about protecting others.  She was supposed to come and visit at some point but we will not allow her to come unless she is vaccinated.  My husband is high risk and while we have both been vaccinated we still do not want to be around others who are not, especially with the new variants.

 

Maybe your other sisters will come and visit you.

 

I hope your cut goes well today and that you have a good 4th.

 

Love,

Julia

[[to...]]

Julia and BD you are both amazing ladies.  I am so sorry for all of your pain.  I agree with everything Laurie said.

 

Love to you all ❤

 

Thank you Debbie.  I hope your stomach and panic has gotten better.  It is so hard sometimes especially when we are going through things that are painful as you have been doing with the loss of your Mother.  I hope things are getting better for you!

 

Love you!

Julia 

[[He...]]

Hello everyone,

 

There has been a lot of sharing about health and family discord and I just want to say I feel your pain. I don't have sisters but I have an older brother that won't talk to me because we don't see eye to eye. I hope someday we can iron it out and go back to being close. My heart and prayers go out to all of you especially as many of you are dealing with significant WD symptoms at the same time. I hope you have as nice a 4th as you can even if you can't be with family.

 

Hugs and love to you all on this 4th. My anxiety is up due to my most recent cut so I am dealing with that today along with following another night of poor sleep.

 

Take good care,

 

HM

[[to...]]

Hello everyone,

 

There has been a lot of sharing about health and family discord and I just want to say I feel your pain. I don't have sisters but I have an older brother that won't talk to me because we don't see eye to eye. I hope someday we can iron it out and go back to being close. My heart and prayers go out to all of you especially as many of you are dealing with significant WD symptoms at the same time. I hope you have as nice a 4th as you can even if you can't be with family.

 

Hugs and love to you all on this 4th. My anxiety is up due to my most recent cut so I am dealing with that today along with following another night of poor sleep.

 

Take good care,

 

HM

 

Thank you HM - I am sorry you too have family issues.  I hope they get resolved too!

 

I am so sorry that you did not sleep well and are having WD.  I hope it gets better quickly for you so you can move forward!

 

Have as best a day as possible!

 

Take care.

 

Hugs,

Julia 

[[He...]]

Thank you, Julia! Hugs, Xoxoxoxo

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

[[He...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

 

 

Thank you, Debbie I hope your panic eases up soon too. We both need this sickness of anxiety to go away and stay away.

 

HM

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

 

 

Thank you, Debbie I hope your panic eases up soon too. We both need this sickness of anxiety to go away and stay away.

 

HM

 

Yes we do HM!!!

❤

[[to...]]

Thank you, Julia! Hugs, Xoxoxoxo

Hugs to you too HM

[[to...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

Hi Debbie, I'm so sorry it's that bad! I pray it gets better very soon! 🙏🙏🙏

I'm sure the ER wouldn't tried to give you benzos. They always gave me high doses of Ativan. I don't blame you for being concerned about that.

Please take care.

Love you,

Hugs and prayers!!!

Julia ♥️🙏🤗

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

Hi Debbie, I'm so sorry it's that bad! I pray it gets better very soon! 🙏🙏🙏

I'm sure the ER wouldn't tried to give you benzos. They always gave me high doses of Ativan. I don't blame you for being concerned about that.

Please take care.

Love you,

Hugs and prayers!!!

Julia ♥️🙏🤗

 

Thank you Julia I think it's a big wave from losing mom I guess it will take more time.  😥

 

Hope you and everyone have a good day.

❤

[[to...]]

Hi everyone,

I hope you can all enjoy the 4th at least a little.

 

Julia thank you.  My stomach and panic are still with me.  I such a terrible panic last night that I thought about going to the ER but then I thought they would want to give me more benzos!  I keep praying that it will ease.

 

HM I am so sorry about your sleep and the anxiety.  I am so thankful that so far my sleep has been good but oh the anxiety!  Praying it eases up for you.

 

Love and hugs ❤

Hi Debbie, I'm so sorry it's that bad! I pray it gets better very soon! 🙏🙏🙏

I'm sure the ER wouldn't tried to give you benzos. They always gave me high doses of Ativan. I don't blame you for being concerned about that.

Please take care.

Love you,

Hugs and prayers!!!

Julia ♥️🙏🤗

 

Thank you Julia I think it's a big wave from losing mom I guess it will take more time.  😥

 

Hope you and everyone have a good day.

❤

Hi Debbie - I think you are right!  Emotional stress always revs up my symptoms.  I am having off balance at this point.  I am sure it will get better soon.

 

Praying you feel better soon!

Love,

Julia 

[[He...]]

Julia,

 

  Is today your birthday? I thought you said it was the 5th. If so then Happy Birthday and if I am off, I am sorry. I hope your WD symptoms are a little better today and you are getting a window. Have as good a Monday as you can.

 

Debbie,

 

  I lost my mom 30 years ago and I am still not over it. I was 21. I am so sorry your your grief and stress are affecting your benzo WD. I hope you get a nice window soon and I hope it lasts a while. You're still in my prayers.

 

SS, Mary, BD and MB,

 

I hope you all are having a goof Monday so far. Wishing you a nice Monday window.

 

I had my usual insomnia last night but the anxiety has eased up a little bit. I still have the GAD but it's eased up slightly. I was awoken at 4am with fireworks and couldn't go back to sleep. I heard more fireworks at 6am but i was awake anyway. Wish me rest and deep sleep, please:)

 

XOXO, Hugs to all,

 

HM

[[to...]]

Julia,

 

  Is today your birthday? I thought you said it was the 5th. If so then Happy Birthday and if I am off, I am sorry. I hope your WD symptoms are a little better today and you are getting a window. Have as good a Monday as you can.

 

Debbie,

 

  I lost my mom 30 years ago and I am still not over it. I was 21. I am so sorry your your grief and stress are affecting your benzo WD. I hope you get a nice window soon and I hope it lasts a while. You're still in my prayers.

 

SS, Mary, BD and MB,

 

I hope you all are having a goof Monday so far. Wishing you a nice Monday window.

 

I had my usual insomnia last night but the anxiety has eased up a little bit. I still have the GAD but it's eased up slightly. I was awoken at 4am with fireworks and couldn't go back to sleep. I heard more fireworks at 6am but i was awake anyway. Wish me rest and deep sleep, please:)

 

XOXO, Hugs to all,

 

HM

 

Hi HM - yes today is my birthday!  Thank you for remembering!  That is kind of you!

 

I am so sorry you did not sleep well and I am definitely hoping you have a deep sleep tonight!  And every night!

 

I am glad your anxiety has eased up and hope it continues to do so.

 

Take care and I hope you have a good day! 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia 

[[Di...]]

Julia Happy Birthday I hope you can have a good day. 

I am sorry you are still having balance issues I've noticed the last week that mine is not that good either right now.  Crazy benzos!

Love and hugs❤

 

HM I am so sorry it is never easy to lose a parent I am so thankful that I had mine for as long as I did.

I'm hoping good sleep will come to you soon.

Thank you for your prayers.

Love and hugs❤

[[Wo...]]

Julia,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you my dear friend!!! I’m hoping and sending wishes for you to have a day that is as special as you are! You are amazing and deserve everything beautiful in life! I know today holds some hard memories for you, and I’m sending you big hugs for that. Thinking about you! I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hugs and love to you! I’m so blessed to have you and all the ladies here in my life! I thank God for all of you! My gift to you is that you know how much you mean to me and how your strength, inspiration, tenacity, and kindness gets me through many days! You mean so much! Many wonderful wishes for great days ahead and for a healing from this benzo hell!

 

Love you bunches,

Mary

[[ba...]]

Happy Birthday Julia!  My wish for you is that you could experience some of this day about you, and not the trauma. You deserve to indulge in some joy and celebration that is just about you and how far you have come as you complete another cycle around the sun.

[[Wo...]]

Hi ladies,

I survived the big family reunion picnic yesterday! Lots of stimulation and noise and chaos but I got through it. It actually was nice at times to distract from thinking of my taper process all the time. We didn’t stay for fireworks. We watched them from the road pulled over. My husband is a combat vet on the front lines from the Persian Gulf war and he does not like fireworks for pretty obvious reasons. I don’t blame him and it doesn’t bother me to watch from a ways away to accommodate him. He’s always so amazing to me. His Aunt presented him yesterday with a quilt of valor she made for his service. It was pretty special.

 

I know this sounds weird or bad but sometimes it makes me a little sad at those kind of occasions because I miss the old me…….the one that could have so much fun and endure in a beer or now and again. I was never a huge drinker but likes to socially have a few beers, and that sucks to me that I can’t do that. I hope someday I’ll be able to have some again. I get afraid it will never happen, and that just sucks. I know, it is a stupid thing to get upset about but I think it more symbolizes what has been taken from me and how I’ve lost the person I once was.

 

I did sleep good last night, and proceeded with the taper today. The finish line can’t come soon enough.

 

I’m sorry for you that are suffering with far worst withdrawals than I. I hope the symptoms let up for you,

HM, I’m hoping that you can get some sleep soon. I feel for you with the insomnia. I hope DD your wave lets up and you feel the comfort of us surrounding you in this tough time with losing your Mother. Julia, I hope you can have a great day and know that I’m sending hugs to you today and that your balance symptoms reprieve! Seasalt, MaryBeth, and Baddove, I hope you are all hanging in there with your taper and withdrawal symptoms. I hope your cuts are going ok, and you are able to hang in there. Thoughts and hugs to you all.

 

I hope you all have a blessed and beautiful day. Hugs to you all.

Love,

Mary  :smitten:

[[Di...]]

Mary your post to Julia was beautiful. 

So thankful you were able to enjoy the family reunion.  It's not silly to morn the old you I do the same.

Love to all,

Debbie❤

[[to...]]

Julia Happy Birthday I hope you can have a good day. 

I am sorry you are still having balance issues I've noticed the last week that mine is not that good either right now.  Crazy benzos!

Love and hugs❤

 

HM I am so sorry it is never easy to lose a parent I am so thankful that I had mine for as long as I did.

I'm hoping good sleep will come to you soon.

Thank you for your prayers.

Love and hugs❤

 

Debbie - Thank you very much!  I am sure it has gotten worse due to emotional issues but it will get better.  I agree - crazy benzo's!!  They do what they want when they want!

 

I hope you feel better soon too!

Love and hugs to you too!

Julia  :smitten:

[[to...]]

Julia,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you my dear friend!!! I’m hoping and sending wishes for you to have a day that is as special as you are! You are amazing and deserve everything beautiful in life! I know today holds some hard memories for you, and I’m sending you big hugs for that. Thinking about you! I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hugs and love to you! I’m so blessed to have you and all the ladies here in my life! I thank God for all of you! My gift to you is that you know how much you mean to me and how your strength, inspiration, tenacity, and kindness gets me through many days! You mean so much! Many wonderful wishes for great days ahead and for a healing from this benzo hell!

 

Love you bunches,

Mary

 

Hi Mary - Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and the beautiful gift!  I treasure you and appreciate you!!  You always make me feel good and loved and that is a wonderful gift!  Thank you my friend!  I also feel blessed to have all the ladies here and to have you too and know there are those that truly do care about me!

 

You write the most wonderful things to me and they all make me smile and I can not asked for anything more special!!!  You are my angel!!!

 

I wish the same to you and I know one day we will all be healed and have a better life and I am sure we will come out of this stronger much wiser people!

 

Love you lots and lots,

Julia  :hug: :smitten:

[[to...]]

Happy Birthday Julia!  My wish for you is that you could experience some of this day about you, and not the trauma. You deserve to indulge in some joy and celebration that is just about you and how far you have come as you complete another cycle around the sun.

 

Thank you Baddove!  Today has not been too bad symptoms wise and my husband gave me the most beautiful card!  I have been blessed with you and the others here that care.  I appreciate you all and I am so glad that you are in my corner!

 

I tried to have a fun meal delivered and they messed it up but it is ok - it seemed so insignificant compared to what so many others are going through - I did not let it get to me.  I plan on sitting down and just watching some tv and relaxing awhile as I count my blessings and there are many.  I have not let this day be sad or about the past - Thank you for your help with that!

 

Love you and I pray you feel better soon!

Julia  :smitten: :angel: