Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[Lo...]]

Hi buddies,

 

SS, Maine sounds gorgeous. I was raised in the Seattle suburbs so I am partial as well. I understand roots:)

 

Everyone else; I hope your having a great Friday so far:)

 

I cut my dose this morning. I am hoping my WD symptoms stay stable. I imagine it will take my a couple/few days to know. My GAD is doing OK so far too. I had a little bit this morning but it's better now. I slept a little bit more than my usual and I desperately look at that as a sign that my brain is healing even though I know it isn't linear.

 

HM

 

HM

 

I see that it's been 6 days since your last cut.  Curious as to how this one went and if symptoms calmed down?  Hoping you're faring well with this one!

 

Love,

Lori

[[He...]]

Hi Lori,

 

  I had some anxiety on a few occasions but other than that, I was OK. I do still have chronic, severe insomnia but I have that no matter what I take. I don't think holding or updosing is going to help it. I did another cut today. I am cruising right along.

 

I finally told my ARNP that I want to taper (I didn't tell him I already am) and his advice was for me to go from 4mg's to jumping in 32 days! He said cut .25mg every 4 days! I told him I dissolve my pill in water and dose with a syringe and he said "You obviously know more than I do about it."

 

I am so tired of this WD! and it's only been 3 months. I wish I could just go back to normal and be over it:)

 

Wish me luck on the sleep and the taper! You're in my prayers.

xoxoxo,

 

HM

[[Lo...]]

Hi Lori,

 

  I had some anxiety on a few occasions but other than that, I was OK. I do still have chronic, severe insomnia but I have that no matter what I take. I don't think holding or updosing is going to help it. I did another cut today. I am cruising right along.

 

I finally told my ARNP that I want to taper (I didn't tell him I already am) and his advice was for me to go from 4mg's to jumping in 32 days! He said cut .25mg every 4 days! I told him I dissolve my pill in water and dose with a syringe and he said "You obviously know more than I do about it."

 

I am so tired of this WD! and it's only been 3 months. I wish I could just go back to normal and be over it:)

 

Wish me luck on the sleep and the taper! You're in my prayers.

xoxoxo,

 

HM

 

I had to laugh when I read your post because it sounded just like my primary many years ago when I approached him fir the first time about the taper. I came armed with a copy of the Ashton Manual, a boat load of printed pages from websites, and even a handful of posts from people on BB who helped me prepare. He said the same exact thing!!! Lol! From that point forward he allowed me to do my taper my way, on my terms, and my own pace. To be honest, of all the help I received throughout this ordeal, his has probably been the best! Just knowing that my doctor will never cut me off, will support my decisions, etc. is/was invaluable! We’re very lucky!!!  So many others don’t have this kind of support!

 

As I wrote on the other thread, you CAN do this. Yes, the insomnia is horrible. Been there so many times. But we simply need to trust the process because the alternative is worse!

 

You’re cruising along and that’s wonderful!!! So proud of you!  Many prayers fir you that things continue smoothly. You got this! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Back using my phone again... can't see a thing on here! lol!

 

Made another small cut yesterday and am probably staying here for the month of August.  I rented a beach house for over 3 weeks and I don't plan to make any cuts while there.  I honestly need the vacation and rest.  I'm hoping I stabilize on this dose over the next two weeks so I can head to the beach on the 10th of August, celebrate my birthday on the 11th with family and friends, and just chill until after Labor Day weekend. 

 

The whole divorce thing (meeting with attorney, putting together sooooo much information/documentation) other family issues, and additional "total nonsense" in my life has been draining me more than I can express.  When I envisioned the end of my taper all these years, I certainly never envisioned it like this!  Again, hoping a few weeks away will help me clear my head, regroup, and prepare to tackle this last 5%!  I'm looking forward to the reprieve. 

 

Hope all are doing okay with all these crazy symptoms!  I think I jinxed myself with my lack of anxiety post.. had a full blown panic attack while driving to my mother in law's 90th BD party on Saturday.  It was horrible.  Had to pull over on the side of the road and do the proverbial shaking and trying to breath deal!  What fun!  My guess is that I was worked up because I truly did not want to go.  On top of that, I'm starting to get concerned about Covid again.  Granted I'm vaccinated but that doesn't seem to be as much of a comfort as we thought it would be a few months ago.  My son got really sick a little over a week ago (acute bronchitis) and is still battling it.  I had him tested for Covid and strep (both negative, thank God) but it's been an eye opener to see so many Covid cases emerging again.  My mother in law's party was held indoors with close to 100 people which I don't think was very smart!  I stayed outside for 90% of the time.  It is me or benzo brain?.... but it seems like everywhere I turn these days, it's just so negative!

 

I guess I should cut this off because trying to go back and read anything on this little screen is difficult.  I'm trying to say too much in a short period of time and window and Lord knows how fragmented this is going to sound!  Lol!

 

Again, I truly hope all are doing okay! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[ba...]]

Lori 

[[He...]]

Back using my phone again... can't see a thing on here! lol!

 

Made another small cut yesterday and am probably staying here for the month of August.  I rented a beach house for over 3 weeks and I don't plan to make any cuts while there.  I honestly need the vacation and rest.  I'm hoping I stabilize on this dose over the next two weeks so I can head to the beach on the 10th of August, celebrate my birthday on the 11th with family and friends, and just chill until after Labor Day weekend. 

 

The whole divorce thing (meeting with attorney, putting together sooooo much information/documentation) other family issues, and additional "total nonsense" in my life has been draining me more than I can express.  When I envisioned the end of my taper all these years, I certainly never envisioned it like this!  Again, hoping a few weeks away will help me clear my head, regroup, and prepare to tackle this last 5%!  I'm looking forward to the reprieve. 

 

Hope all are doing okay with all these crazy symptoms!  I think I jinxed myself with my lack of anxiety post.. had a full blown panic attack while driving to my mother in law's 90th BD party on Saturday.  It was horrible.  Had to pull over on the side of the road and do the proverbial shaking and trying to breath deal!  What fun!  My guess is that I was worked up because I truly did not want to go.  On top of that, I'm starting to get concerned about Covid again.  Granted I'm vaccinated but that doesn't seem to be as much of a comfort as we thought it would be a few months ago.  My son got really sick a little over a week ago (acute bronchitis) and is still battling it.  I had him tested for Covid and strep (both negative, thank God) but it's been an eye opener to see so many Covid cases emerging again.  My mother in law's party was held indoors with close to 100 people which I don't think was very smart!  I stayed outside for 90% of the time.  It is me or benzo brain?.... but it seems like everywhere I turn these days, it's just so negative!

 

I guess I should cut this off because trying to go back and read anything on this little screen is difficult.  I'm trying to say too much in a short period of time and window and Lord knows how fragmented this is going to sound!  Lol!

 

Again, I truly hope all are doing okay! 

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

Lori,

 

I am sorry about the horrible panic attack you had and your impending divorce. I hope you enjoy your vacation for 3 weeks and I don't blame you for holding. Keep the risk of new symptoms low. Thank you for the update.

 

I am the same as always. Relentless insomnia and some GAD and GI issues and not many other symptoms. I am stable but uncomfortable. I am OK today despite my symptoms. I am hanging in there:)

 

Happy Tuesday,

 

HM

[[Lo...]]

HM,

 

So sorry to hear that you're still struggling with insomnia.  Oddly enough, that one reared its ugly head for me again in the past 10 days. Odd because it's different.  In the past it was racing thoughts that kept me awake.  Now, I fall asleep for about 2 hours and wake anytime between 1:30-3:00 am, look over at the clock hoping that it's at least close to 5:30-6:00 am, groan loudly when I realize that I've only been asleep for about 2 hours, and then I'm wide awake for at least an hour.  In all the years of my taper, this had never happened before.  So I guess I have this to contend with for heaven knows how long. 

 

So.... my hope for you is that you'll only have to endure the true insomnia for a brief stint.  I know, I'm not much help, right?  My stomach has been crazy bloated lately as well.  I have moments when I think to myself, "just go to the doctor and get some of this checked out" and then I immediately say, "Forget it!  Just wait and see how you feel after the taper because so many other symptoms have come and gone - hopefully this will too!"

 

I still can't wrap my head around the weight gain.  Taper? thyroid? Age? All of the above?  I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself.  Ugh!

 

As far as your GAD and GI issues, I know they suck (for lack of a more eloquent was of putting it).  But there's also something to be said for feeling stable - for several years I never did!  I recently spoke with two former members of BB who have been off Xanax (and one was on Klonopin) for several years now and both said that all symptoms have completely resolved.  They assure me that this is all withdrawal and to just give it time.  So, I'm passing that along to you as well - the....

 

Hang in there, girlfriend!  I have to believe those who came before us when they say that it truly will get better!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

 

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Lori 

 

BD:  How is your poor finger?  I'm afraid to ask because I don't want you to feel obligated to type! 

 

Praying that you're feeling better!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[He...]]

HM,

 

So sorry to hear that you're still struggling with insomnia.  Oddly enough, that one reared its ugly head for me again in the past 10 days. Odd because it's different.  In the past it was racing thoughts that kept me awake.  Now, I fall asleep for about 2 hours and wake anytime between 1:30-3:00 am, look over at the clock hoping that it's at least close to 5:30-6:00 am, groan loudly when I realize that I've only been asleep for about 2 hours, and then I'm wide awake for at least an hour.  In all the years of my taper, this had never happened before.  So I guess I have this to contend with for heaven knows how long. 

 

So.... my hope for you is that you'll only have to endure the true insomnia for a brief stint.  I know, I'm not much help, right?  My stomach has been crazy bloated lately as well.  I have moments when I think to myself, "just go to the doctor and get some of this checked out" and then I immediately say, "Forget it!  Just wait and see how you feel after the taper because so many other symptoms have come and gone - hopefully this will too!"

 

I still can't wrap my head around the weight gain.  Taper? thyroid? Age? All of the above?  I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself.  Ugh!

 

As far as your GAD and GI issues, I know they suck (for lack of a more eloquent was of putting it).  But there's also something to be said for feeling stable - for several years I never did!  I recently spoke with two former members of BB who have been off Xanax (and one was on Klonopin) for several years now and both said that all symptoms have completely resolved.  They assure me that this is all withdrawal and to just give it time.  So, I'm passing that along to you as well - the....

 

Hang in there, girlfriend!  I have to believe those who came before us when they say that it truly will get better!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

 

 

 

 

Lori,  Thank you for the well wishes and the words if inspiration. I'll take anything I can get. I love hearing stories about people who healed completely from benzos and all their symptoms resolved. Makes my heart happy, so thank you! We'll be in that group in the near future.

 

Thank you again! hugs 

 

HM

[[ba...]]

Thanks for asking Lori. It is healing, no infection. It will take about 6 months for my fingernail to grow back. The tip is growing back (What I cut off but it was growing off to the side, not centered, so I wear a silicone cap at night to make it grow straight, it's working. I am under the care of a hand orthopedist, go in every 2 weeks unless something happens.

 

I gentle clean it with my index finger on the right hand with water and a dab of soap that I have a spray bottle for daily to help remove dead skin, so fresh skin will be motivated to grow. I dress it several times a day, and have a few different casts. It doesn't hurt much anymore.

 

I have to be very careful about smacking it into anything, had a few mishaps.

 

I have learned to rinse and load dishes with one hand, basic cleaning, and feel more useful. I can't type with it, hence my one hand texting. I am not to carry anything either. I wear a wrist hand splint to immobilize the entire hand, it keeps me from using it. We are so used to doing everything with 2 hands!

 

Was able to do yoga yesterday, had to really pay attention to not using the left fingers. Went pretty well. I rode my bike too. Went fine, I only used my left hand with the damaged finger elevated, and the rest of my hand gripping the bars. Only used my right and to brake.

 

I can't take care of my hair, as I mentioned way back. It is very long, and washing it with one hand, and then brushing it out and braiding it is not doable.

 

Interestingly, I went to my long term hairdresser for my first wash and braid Saturday. She told me she was having an anxiety attack because she did not know how to braid hair, and never told anyone because she's embarrassed. I gave her a big hug and said we would do it together. I taught her the basics (For French braids, you section off pieces which she did. I then used my right hand and my left to some extent to teach her how to braid each section. I would twist the strands, and she would release the next section. We got 3 braids in. She was so happy that I could teach her and excited that she is finally going to learn this. I said sloppy doesn't matter, you will master this in a few months, then you can take a class and learn more complicated braiding without feeling self conscious. (something she has wanted to do, but  it made her very anxious.) She washed and brushed my hair, omg, that felt good. I told her brush it hard around the scalp, I need to get the oils from sitting on my scalp (serious itch and dandruff), and you wont hurt me, I have been in braids most of my life.

 

We are meeting Saturdays, because no one is in the shop. She doesn't want the other hairdresser to know she doesn't know how to do complicated braiding. She also refused payment, saying just being able to learn  made her feel like she should pay me. I feel really good that I can help her get over her braid anxiety.

 

I had no idea she had GAD, a new bond for us. Interesting!  And her knowing I had it, and was sensitive and non judgemental gave her huge relief.

 

She said she takes medication, and had never told anyone because people would think she's psycho. I said I am on medication too (not the time to talk about tapering,) and I get it. I don't tell anyone, I just say I have anxiety, which  is not judged much, and I am not embarrassed to say it when I am manifesting symptoms and have to engage with people.

 

It is hard to type, so cramming a lot in so it's done in one bout.

 

I am so proud of all of you for pushing through, evaluating and comparing your experiences, and the general love for the respective hardships and sxs we all go through.

 

Lori, I am really proud of you for knowing your worth and want you want out of life, and proceeding to make the needed changes (divorce) even though I know it's very draining and exhausting. Seriously, you are doing amazing, no matter how you feel.

 

Julia, you love on everyone and never complain, Damn, you are some kind of amazing.

 

More for the rest of you another time. I think of all of you, and read through about every other day or so to see how everyone is doing. Look forward to a time when I can contribute more to nurturing, validating and showing my care for all of you.

 

 

 

 

[[se...]]

BD,

 

Can I just say you are amazing!  You’ve been through so much and yet you stay so positive.

 

Lori, I have the same sleep pattern, sleep 1-2 hours wake and back to sleep for 3-4.  We are in such a low dose, it’s catching up to us.  Hang in there!

 

HM, the insomnia will get better, give it time.

 

We are halfway through the week!

[[He...]]

Thanks for asking Lori. It is healing, no infection. It will take about 6 months for my fingernail to grow back. The tip is growing back (What I cut off but it was growing off to the side, not centered, so I wear a silicone cap at night to make it grow straight, it's working. I am under the care of a hand orthopedist, go in every 2 weeks unless something happens.

 

I gentle clean it with my index finger on the right hand with water and a dab of soap that I have a spray bottle for daily to help remove dead skin, so fresh skin will be motivated to grow. I dress it several times a day, and have a few different casts. It doesn't hurt much anymore.

 

I have to be very careful about smacking it into anything, had a few mishaps.

 

I have learned to rinse and load dishes with one hand, basic cleaning, and feel more useful. I can't type with it, hence my one hand texting. I am not to carry anything either. I wear a wrist hand splint to immobilize the entire hand, it keeps me from using it. We are so used to doing everything with 2 hands!

 

Was able to do yoga yesterday, had to really pay attention to not using the left fingers. Went pretty well. I rode my bike too. Went fine, I only used my left hand with the damaged finger elevated, and the rest of my hand gripping the bars. Only used my right and to brake.

 

I can't take care of my hair, as I mentioned way back. It is very long, and washing it with one hand, and then brushing it out and braiding it is not doable.

 

Interestingly, I went to my long term hairdresser for my first wash and braid Saturday. She told me she was having an anxiety attack because she did not know how to braid hair, and never told anyone because she's embarrassed. I gave her a big hug and said we would do it together. I taught her the basics (For French braids, you section off pieces which she did. I then used my right hand and my left to some extent to teach her how to braid each section. I would twist the strands, and she would release the next section. We got 3 braids in. She was so happy that I could teach her and excited that she is finally going to learn this. I said sloppy doesn't matter, you will master this in a few months, then you can take a class and learn more complicated braiding without feeling self conscious. (something she has wanted to do, but  it made her very anxious.) She washed and brushed my hair, omg, that felt good. I told her brush it hard around the scalp, I need to get the oils from sitting on my scalp (serious itch and dandruff), and you wont hurt me, I have been in braids most of my life.

 

We are meeting Saturdays, because no one is in the shop. She doesn't want the other hairdresser to know she doesn't know how to do complicated braiding. She also refused payment, saying just being able to learn  made her feel like she should pay me. I feel really good that I can help her get over her braid anxiety.

 

I had no idea she had GAD, a new bond for us. Interesting!  And her knowing I had it, and was sensitive and non judgemental gave her huge relief.

 

She said she takes medication, and had never told anyone because people would think she's psycho. I said I am on medication too (not the time to talk about tapering,) and I get it. I don't tell anyone, I just say I have anxiety, which  is not judged much, and I am not embarrassed to say it when I am manifesting symptoms and have to engage with people.

 

It is hard to type, so cramming a lot in so it's done in one bout.

 

I am so proud of all of you for pushing through, evaluating and comparing your experiences, and the general love for the respective hardships and sxs we all go through.

 

Lori, I am really proud of you for knowing your worth and want you want out of life, and proceeding to make the needed changes (divorce) even though I know it's very draining and exhausting. Seriously, you are doing amazing, no matter how you feel.

 

Julia, you love on everyone and never complain, Damn, you are some kind of amazing.

 

More for the rest of you another time. I think of all of you, and read through about every other day or so to see how everyone is doing. Look forward to a time when I can contribute more to nurturing, validating and showing my care for all of you.

 

 

 

 

 

BD,

 

  You are so kind and patient while dealing with your own suffering. You're one in a million! You really are. It's good to hear from you.

 

HM

[[Di...]]

Thanks for asking Lori. It is healing, no infection. It will take about 6 months for my fingernail to grow back. The tip is growing back (What I cut off but it was growing off to the side, not centered, so I wear a silicone cap at night to make it grow straight, it's working. I am under the care of a hand orthopedist, go in every 2 weeks unless something happens.

 

I gentle clean it with my index finger on the right hand with water and a dab of soap that I have a spray bottle for daily to help remove dead skin, so fresh skin will be motivated to grow. I dress it several times a day, and have a few different casts. It doesn't hurt much anymore.

 

I have to be very careful about smacking it into anything, had a few mishaps.

 

I have learned to rinse and load dishes with one hand, basic cleaning, and feel more useful. I can't type with it, hence my one hand texting. I am not to carry anything either. I wear a wrist hand splint to immobilize the entire hand, it keeps me from using it. We are so used to doing everything with 2 hands!

 

Was able to do yoga yesterday, had to really pay attention to not using the left fingers. Went pretty well. I rode my bike too. Went fine, I only used my left hand with the damaged finger elevated, and the rest of my hand gripping the bars. Only used my right and to brake.

 

I can't take care of my hair, as I mentioned way back. It is very long, and washing it with one hand, and then brushing it out and braiding it is not doable.

 

Interestingly, I went to my long term hairdresser for my first wash and braid Saturday. She told me she was having an anxiety attack because she did not know how to braid hair, and never told anyone because she's embarrassed. I gave her a big hug and said we would do it together. I taught her the basics (For French braids, you section off pieces which she did. I then used my right hand and my left to some extent to teach her how to braid each section. I would twist the strands, and she would release the next section. We got 3 braids in. She was so happy that I could teach her and excited that she is finally going to learn this. I said sloppy doesn't matter, you will master this in a few months, then you can take a class and learn more complicated braiding without feeling self conscious. (something she has wanted to do, but  it made her very anxious.) She washed and brushed my hair, omg, that felt good. I told her brush it hard around the scalp, I need to get the oils from sitting on my scalp (serious itch and dandruff), and you wont hurt me, I have been in braids most of my life.

 

We are meeting Saturdays, because no one is in the shop. She doesn't want the other hairdresser to know she doesn't know how to do complicated braiding. She also refused payment, saying just being able to learn  made her feel like she should pay me. I feel really good that I can help her get over her braid anxiety.

 

I had no idea she had GAD, a new bond for us. Interesting!  And her knowing I had it, and was sensitive and non judgemental gave her huge relief.

 

She said she takes medication, and had never told anyone because people would think she's psycho. I said I am on medication too (not the time to talk about tapering,) and I get it. I don't tell anyone, I just say I have anxiety, which  is not judged much, and I am not embarrassed to say it when I am manifesting symptoms and have to engage with people.

 

It is hard to type, so cramming a lot in so it's done in one bout.

 

I am so proud of all of you for pushing through, evaluating and comparing your experiences, and the general love for the respective hardships and sxs we all go through.

 

Lori, I am really proud of you for knowing your worth and want you want out of life, and proceeding to make the needed changes (divorce) even though I know it's very draining and exhausting. Seriously, you are doing amazing, no matter how you feel.

 

Julia, you love on everyone and never complain, Damn, you are some kind of amazing.

 

More for the rest of you another time. I think of all of you, and read through about every other day or so to see how everyone is doing. Look forward to a time when I can contribute more to nurturing, validating and showing my care for all of you.

 

 

BD thank you for that post.  You are always so supportive of everyone.  So glad your finger is healing.

Hugs❤

[[Lo...]]

Thanks for asking Lori. It is healing, no infection. It will take about 6 months for my fingernail to grow back. The tip is growing back (What I cut off but it was growing off to the side, not centered, so I wear a silicone cap at night to make it grow straight, it's working. I am under the care of a hand orthopedist, go in every 2 weeks unless something happens.

 

I gentle clean it with my index finger on the right hand with water and a dab of soap that I have a spray bottle for daily to help remove dead skin, so fresh skin will be motivated to grow. I dress it several times a day, and have a few different casts. It doesn't hurt much anymore.

 

I have to be very careful about smacking it into anything, had a few mishaps.

 

I have learned to rinse and load dishes with one hand, basic cleaning, and feel more useful. I can't type with it, hence my one hand texting. I am not to carry anything either. I wear a wrist hand splint to immobilize the entire hand, it keeps me from using it. We are so used to doing everything with 2 hands!

 

Was able to do yoga yesterday, had to really pay attention to not using the left fingers. Went pretty well. I rode my bike too. Went fine, I only used my left hand with the damaged finger elevated, and the rest of my hand gripping the bars. Only used my right and to brake.

 

I can't take care of my hair, as I mentioned way back. It is very long, and washing it with one hand, and then brushing it out and braiding it is not doable.

 

Interestingly, I went to my long term hairdresser for my first wash and braid Saturday. She told me she was having an anxiety attack because she did not know how to braid hair, and never told anyone because she's embarrassed. I gave her a big hug and said we would do it together. I taught her the basics (For French braids, you section off pieces which she did. I then used my right hand and my left to some extent to teach her how to braid each section. I would twist the strands, and she would release the next section. We got 3 braids in. She was so happy that I could teach her and excited that she is finally going to learn this. I said sloppy doesn't matter, you will master this in a few months, then you can take a class and learn more complicated braiding without feeling self conscious. (something she has wanted to do, but  it made her very anxious.) She washed and brushed my hair, omg, that felt good. I told her brush it hard around the scalp, I need to get the oils from sitting on my scalp (serious itch and dandruff), and you wont hurt me, I have been in braids most of my life.

 

We are meeting Saturdays, because no one is in the shop. She doesn't want the other hairdresser to know she doesn't know how to do complicated braiding. She also refused payment, saying just being able to learn  made her feel like she should pay me. I feel really good that I can help her get over her braid anxiety.

 

I had no idea she had GAD, a new bond for us. Interesting!  And her knowing I had it, and was sensitive and non judgemental gave her huge relief.

 

She said she takes medication, and had never told anyone because people would think she's psycho. I said I am on medication too (not the time to talk about tapering,) and I get it. I don't tell anyone, I just say I have anxiety, which  is not judged much, and I am not embarrassed to say it when I am manifesting symptoms and have to engage with people.

 

It is hard to type, so cramming a lot in so it's done in one bout.

 

I am so proud of all of you for pushing through, evaluating and comparing your experiences, and the general love for the respective hardships and sxs we all go through.

 

Lori, I am really proud of you for knowing your worth and want you want out of life, and proceeding to make the needed changes (divorce) even though I know it's very draining and exhausting. Seriously, you are doing amazing, no matter how you feel.

 

Julia, you love on everyone and never complain, Damn, you are some kind of amazing.

 

More for the rest of you another time. I think of all of you, and read through about every other day or so to see how everyone is doing. Look forward to a time when I can contribute more to nurturing, validating and showing my care for all of you.

 

 

:smitten: :smitten:

 

PS:  Over the past 10 years I've been somewhat stunned over how many people deal with GAD and/or panic attacks.  I've always been pretty open about mine, and because of this, people tend to feel comfortable telling you.  Honestly, 1/2 my neighbors, friends, cousins, former coworkers, all deal with some form of it.  It's mind blowing.  The difference is that most of them weren't put on a benzo 4 times per day!  Lucky them!!

 

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Update:

 

Years into this taper and this drug STILL leaves me dumfounded.  How can a pill this small cause so much havoc!  Let alone less than 1/2 of a pill! 

 

Getting down to .3 wasn't too bad but HOLY CRAP... this last cut has me symptomatic in far too many ways!  Muscle stuff in insane, insomnia is back after having slept incredibly well for close to a year.  Benzo belly (bloating) is back with a vengeance.  Dizziness is off and on - no too bad, but it had been completely gone for months.

 

I'm wondering if I need to rethink my strategy.  Today I'm thinking of going back up to the last dose, and only taking a bit off of one dose instead of all 4, staying there for 2-3 days and taking if off the next dose, etc.  There has to be a smoother way than this. 

 

I wish that liquid worked for me.  I've tried it 2-3 times over the past 3 years and never had any luck with it.  But darn, it would be so much easier than sitting here filing these darn scraps of pills and weighing each one because it takes a good few minutes to get each at the "exact" weight.  I'm literally covered in Xanax dust! LOL!! 

 

Will keep you posted. 

 

Hope all are doing well today! 

[[se...]]

Lori,

 

Did you decide to go back to your last dose?  I remember how I felt at the dose you are now and it was difficult for sure.  I can say, as I got lower I seem to be doing better.  There is hope!

[[He...]]

Happy Thursday everyone!

 

Just wanted to say I wish you the best day you can have:)

 

HM

[[se...]]

Thanks HM, you as well!

[[Lo...]]

Lori,

 

Did you decide to go back to your last dose?  I remember how I felt at the dose you are now and it was difficult for sure.  I can say, as I got lower I seem to be doing better.  There is hope!

 

SeaSalt,

 

Yes, I went back to .3.  Yesterday was horrible symptom wise. However, I did sleep about 6 hours albeit broken with the 2:30 am wake up with hot flashes. That was pleasant. 🥴

 

Today I’m literally forcing myself to keep moving. I have been stunned at how bad symptoms have been. I don’t know why this taper continues to shock me.

 

Thanks for the encouragement that it gets better. And really happy to hear that you’re doing much better!

 

The other day I was thinking about PowerPearl. She was with us months back. I wonder how she’s doing. When someone who “jumped” goes MIA, I always assume it’s a positive thing!

 

Hope you’re having a good morning! Happy Friday!!

 

Love,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Happy Thursday everyone!

 

Just wanted to say I wish you the best day you can have:)

 

HM

 

❤️ Right back at you! ❤️

[[He...]]

Hello ladies,

 

  I hope everyone is having a good Friday so far:)

 

Lori,

 

  I hope the updose helps you a little bit. I am sorry you have been experiencing symptoms.

 

SS,

 

  I am glad you're feeling better as you get lower too! That's what we all want.

 

BD,

 

  As I mentioned on the other thread, I hope your finger is getting better and your symptoms are manageable.

 

Debbie,

 

  Happy Friday to you. I hope your feeling well today and yoru symptoms are manageable.

 

Everyone else; Happy Friday!

 

I struggled with sleep again last night but I am going to keep giving the trazodone a chance to work. It helped on Wednesday night, so maybe ti can again.

 

Take good care,

 

Alice

[[Lo...]]

Curious… has anyone tried Melatonin? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I’ve never taken it but am contemplating it.

 

A friend of mine swears by an over the counter Med called Sleepinal but I looked it up and it’s basically the same as taking Benadryl in a tablet. I’m not going to try that.

[[He...]]

Curious… has anyone tried Melatonin? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I’ve never taken it but am contemplating it.

 

A friend of mine swears by an over the counter Med called Sleepinal but I looked it up and it’s basically the same as taking Benadryl in a tablet. I’m not going to try that.

 

Melatonin worked for me for years before I had benzo induced insomnia. I still take it every night but it can't work like it's supposed to in my current brain state of affairs. If you have mild insomnia, it may very well help you. It did me.

[[Lo...]]

HM,

 

Thanks! I might give it a try. I just go so nervous about taking supplements of any kind for all the obvious reasons. It like my body is foreign to me since this taper.

 

Will keep you posted. Hope your updose is helping with symptoms.

 

 

[[Lo...]]

After tapering methodically for 3 years, I’ve realized what a toll it’s taken on my body! I’ve lost all muscle tone (atrophy) and gained some unwanted pounds.

 

Last night I decided to do the “August 30 for 30” challenge. It’s 30 days of 30 minutes of any type of exercise you choose. If you’re new like me, simply walking at your own pace for 30 minutes will do. It’s a great way to start the process without the goal being too much stress on our already stressed bodies.

 

I did my 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill today (raining outside). Would love to have a few Buddies to join me! Let me know if you’re in!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

PS: I started a thread for this over in General Health and Well Being section. Jump on over if you want to participate.