18-30 MONTHS AND UPWARDS

[[Ho...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

Wanted to share a new success story to give everyone some hope  :smitten:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=220678.msg2835949#msg2835949

 

Best to all,

WR

 

Following, spot on. We will heal!

 

 

[[Kl...]]

Thanks much needed. After a decent week last week the last few days have been awful again. I've been swimming when I wake and wondering if it's too much, I'll maybe skip tomorrow. I feel great when I swim and then for an hour or two after then the days have been rough.. maybe it's just a wave :/

[[Ho...]]

Swimming use to distract my brain as well, but is also demanding a lot from our poor bodies. I guess a wave is coming no matter what we do, we can trigger it by asking too much from ourselve. I am also in a very rough spot, turning corners faster. Like a wave that let up within the monster wave which is going for months now. Turning a corner means a very rough path (2-4 weeks), with a higher peak around week 4 where symptoms cycle pretty fast and are horrible. The next month I have them in a lower intensity, but new symptoms kick in and everything returns.  So this is a never ending story. On the other side I get few days where I am functional during the day. During the night it starts to get worse. The first year was opposite. So hopefully this is the last BIG wave?!?

[[pi...]]

Hi all, I don't post much but I have been a member for a little while. I am still in the midst of recovering from a CT of Xanax.  In two days, I'll be 23 months since jumping. Have had DP consistently for over 2 years and only two full windows the first two weeks. Feeling pretty down since I have been slammed with a wave in month 22. I was at or slightly worst than baseline but not dealing with bad waves for months. I'm glad I found this thread. I have to find a new job and see others looking as well. How do you all deal with the insane anxiety and DP (if any) while interviewing?

 

Nice to hear from you Gaia, you can do it. I lost my job a few months back and managed to find something in a small town thats notoriously hard to find jobs in so it can be done!. My only advice is try to find something easier and lighter on yourself. I found a 4 day a week job and its much better on my system. i took a 20k pay cut but its temporary and worth it for now. Health before money and ego for now friend!

 

Thank you, Pinky. I should have added that I work and have worked throughout this entire nightmare. I work outside and I have minimal interaction with people which was and still is a blessing considering my severe social anxiety from this. However,  I remember at one point in this journey it felt like I was walking with cinder blocks for feet (pure exhaustion and weakness) and like a war was going on around me while outside. Between the sensitivity to my senses, the DP/DR, and the terror I felt 24/7,  it felt like a barrage of attacks were happening to me. The noise from a breeze felt like the sky was going to collapse on me. It was madness for a long time. I hope to never revisit that intensity again. Many acute symptoms have returned in this wave, but not nearly where it was. I try to remember that when it happens. But terror and deep fear make an appearance and that combined with my DP make me feel utterly disabled. I need a new job and can't put it off any longer. I went on one interview about a year ago and it was a nightmare. It's taking me a year to consider another but now I have no choice.  I know a year ago my symptoms were far worse,, and I'm trying to cling onto that idea to get me to the next interview. Hoping this ends soon for all of us.

 

I remeber the intensity too. Amen to that. Hopefully we will never return to it. I wish you all the luck in your interview. Think positive and remember if you went through this your stronger than most and will nail a job interview in comparison to this.

[[Kl...]]

Swimming use to distract my brain as well, but is also demanding a lot from our poor bodies. I guess a wave is coming no matter what we do, we can trigger it by asking too much from ourselve. I am also in a very rough spot, turning corners faster. Like a wave that let up within the monster wave which is going for months now. Turning a corner means a very rough path (2-4 weeks), with a higher peak around week 4 where symptoms cycle pretty fast and are horrible. The next month I have them in a lower intensity, but new symptoms kick in and everything returns.  So this is a never ending story. On the other side I get few days where I am functional during the day. During the night it starts to get worse. The first year was opposite. So hopefully this is the last BIG wave?!?

 

Took a break from swimming today so we'll see the day is any easier. I woke up to nasty toxic pains in my legs again.. My mornings were better but last 2 days not so good again. yesterday was a pretty shitty day all around, had crazy fatigue later in the day as well. I guess I'm back in a wave again (within a wave) after a week break. This will be week 10 now and still not down to where I was in mid Jan. It's been challenging to say the least.

 

Let's hope this is a last push of nasty stuff.. though at 30 months I can't help but think it could be bumpy a while longer :/

[Guest [su...]]

My name is Sundance and I am from Sweden. In just a few days i am 18 months off. Suffer in nonstops waves. I dont have many symptoms left but tge ones I have is brutal. My dr dp is insane. My electric current too...I do heal. But am sick and tired of always being sick and tired. I have some issues...need some advice.

In the middle of may my husband wants us to go on a roadtrip to Germany and join a musicfestival. All that says about everything. I need to go 15 hours by car incl 8 hours by boat. He thought we should bring our tent and sleeo in that. I was screaming hell no! So he had rent a mobile home. But honestly I have so big problems with my DR DP everything is unreal. Sounds. My home, my husband, our dog and even myself.

Today I took a walk and got slammed by a brutal mental wave. I almost lost myself outside.

I really wanna go but my mental status says hell no! But benzo lies all the time and my stupid brain believes in all those lies. Give me some ideas or support. I am afraid of going so far away from home. What if I loose it all...?

[[...]]

Cancel the shit out of that trip.

 

Plan the same trip in a year and look forward to it all year.

[[lo...]]

sun: you won't die. in fact you might feel better. sometimes we have to push ourselves.

I had couple trips where I felt really scared to go, anxiety, panic etc. but once I arrived all left. I felt amazing!

at 18months out it is time to re-engage in life, even if there is fear. go!

[[bl...]]

Keep going outside for walks with  your husband  I was in yours your shoes once I had to  go to my  daughters graduation 150 miles away from home I went I managed it wasn’t pleasant but I had to do it I did not drive at all because I could not.  There becomes a time when you have to start challenging yourself to do things you dislike to get better even in wave . I hope wellness comes to you soon.

[[NY...]]

Cancel the shit out of that trip.

 

Plan the same trip in a year and look forward to it all year.

 

I hear you, and it's 100% a personal decision of course, what we can bear, etc.  And I've backed out of A LOT of stuff in the past 4 years, but I was going to actually suggest otherwise in this case, specific to the DP/DR.  I've been in DP/DR hell most of the time for 4+ years now (all of taper).  It's absolutely the hardest and most disruptive symptom of mine (and overall it has gotten MUCH better, fyi, but any DP/DR is too much for me).  Despite it, I've done quite a lot - hiking with friends, camping, trips to visit family, vacations.  Admittedly, all of them were difficult,  and I was not able to enjoy myself b/c of the symptoms much of the time, but I made it through all of them, and was glad I had gone - in part b/c it was a good distraction, and also b/c it made the people in my life happy to have me along.

 

Klungo, sorry it's rough again.  Hang in there buddy.

 

I'm having a kinda window today, feeling more like myself than I have in a long time, but still in a wave.  DP/DR hardly noticeable, but still there.  Hopeful though when this lifts, I'll turn a big corner.  I don't wanna jinx it, but I can really feel positive changes brewing :angel:...

 

Best to all,

WR

[Guest [su...]]

I was on holiday last summer. 600 km from home. 6 hour long ride by car. It was when I got dr dp for my first time. I was really afraid but I did it. We rented a summer house. I was there for 1 week with all of my symptoms I have now. But it was a quiet place just me and my husband and dog. I will try to expose me for some longer trip and even try to go to a concert in the beginning of may. A lot can happen before middle of may. My worst fear is that I think I might loose it. Become crazy or die. Or feel unsafe. I am sensitive to sounds not lights. This weekend am I going to just say hello to my parents. I hasen't meet them for 18 months. 

So will I let my fear stop me?

[Guest [su...]]

Cancel the shit out of that trip.

 

Plan the same trip in a year and look forward to it all year.

 

I hear you, and it's 100% a personal decision of course, what we can bear, etc.  And I've backed out of A LOT of stuff in the past 4 years, but I was going to actually suggest otherwise in this case, specific to the DP/DR.  I've been in DP/DR hell most of the time for 4+ years now (all of taper).  It's absolutely the hardest and most disruptive symptom of mine (and overall it has gotten MUCH better, fyi, but any DP/DR is too much for me).  Despite it, I've done quite a lot - hiking with friends, camping, trips to visit family, vacations.  Admittedly, all of them were difficult,  and I was not able to enjoy myself b/c of the symptoms much of the time, but I made it through all of them, and was glad I had gone - in part b/c it was a good distraction, and also b/c it made the people in my life happy to have me along.

 

Klungo, sorry it's rough again.  Hang in there buddy.

 

I'm having a kinda window today, feeling more like myself than I have in a long time, but still in a wave.  DP/DR hardly noticeable, but still there.  Hopeful though when this lifts, I'll turn a big corner.  I don't wanna jinx it, but I can really feel positive changes brewing :angel:...

 

Best to all,

WR

Oh so nice! Do all that kind off stuff even if you suffer from dr dp. It is hell! Everything is so unreal. I have had dr dp since june last summer. Now is it worse than ever. But I need to force myself to live with this crap. It might be there for a long time. And I need to accept this...nice advice...

[Guest [su...]]

sun: you won't die. in fact you might feel better. sometimes we have to push ourselves.

I had couple trips where I felt really scared to go, anxiety, panic etc. but once I arrived all left. I felt amazing!

at 18months out it is time to re-engage in life, even if there is fear. go!

Agree!!

[Guest [su...]]

Keep going outside for walks with  your husband  I was in yours your shoes once I had to  go to my  daughters graduation 150 miles away from home I went I managed it wasn’t pleasant but I had to do it I did not drive at all because I could not.  There becomes a time when you have to start challenging yourself to do things you dislike to get better even in wave . I hope wellness comes to you soon.

Thanks for your advice and support. I will expose me for fears and triggers.

[Guest [su...]]

Cancel the shit out of that trip.

 

Plan the same trip in a year and look forward to it all year.

This is what my fears saying  to me. Stay home, I will loose it...

 

[[pi...]]

Cancel the shit out of that trip.

 

Plan the same trip in a year and look forward to it all year.

This is what my fears saying  to me. Stay home, I will loose it...

 

knowing when to say yes and when to say no is the key to life. If your agreeable by nature then practice saying no. If you dont want to go, say that. I know relationships are compromise but your actually the sick one here. ISnt there a bit in the vows about in sickness and health. Your in sickness, that means now is the time to prove those vowels on his behalf. When your better, you can compromise your desires, its not about that now. Its about health, I would tell him that. Im constantly feeling bad about telling people no but its actually quite liberating cause ive always been too agreeable and im discovering a lot of self cofidence as a result of making my own decisions.

 

Forget the rest. Find a quiet place and ask yourself - Do you want to go on this trip? dont think just answer it!. If you say loudly no. Then its no! and stand by your no!.

 

Thats my advice. I started doing this and my whole WD has way way more easy on me. And i dont hate everyone for not understanding cause i look after me.

 

standing up for yourself will actually give you a sense of control over your environment which will make you feel more able to go out and do more funnily enough. Because i took control of my self i felt more able to push myself ironically and so now i go out more, not less. I just do it on my terms, not theirs

[[Ga...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is feeling a little better as the weekend rolls around. I'm just moving along, one foot in front of the other waiting for relief from this newest wave. I have a question for everyone. How many of you all have/had DR/DP on a consistent basis? And if you do/did, how long have you had it for/did have it for? I'm going on 28 months with DP and only during the first 2 weeks of CT did I have two full windows without it. I haven't had a window for almost 23 months now. If this symptom would disappear, I'd be able to function on a far better level.

 

 

[[Kl...]]

For me DR it started to lift after a year here and there, lots better by 23 or so, but it didn't go consistently til around 27 months. I will get it once in a while in a wave but not very often now.

[[Ne...]]

Have any of you guys experienced gastritis this far out? I have been in a wave for quite a while but now the stomach issues are putting me over the edge. I think it could be stress related to upcoming trip with my husband. We are currently staying with friends and my stomach pain is just horrible.

Can’t eat or drink a thing. I’m just wondering what I can take over the counter to help...Zantac? Prilosec? Any foods help with gastritis? How about natural...ive been taking DGL tablets and drinking decaf tea with honey. Please any suggestions would help so much.

❤️New girl

[[Kl...]]

My stomach was pretty good since around 23 months or so.. but this last week I've started to get nausea and other issues again.. been eating tums and ginger caps a lot.. getting some zofran from my Dr again..

[[NY...]]

yep, here too - horrible pain last night, huge bloat, etc... yuck. 

 

Sorry, I'm no help with OTC tips...ginger tea is a good idea.  DGL if you have ++stomach acid.  Eating really bland is what's helped me the most I think. 

 

Hope you're able to get some respite, enjoy time away  Thinking of you.

 

Hugs,

WR

[[So...]]

Hey guys so I hit 23 months a few days ago and I just have horrible looping fear filled health anxiety thoughts, it always gets worse when I'm on my period which is hard but I just don't know if this is my new normal now. I am terrified of having a seizure or stroke or heart attack, I am 26 and in good health, but my sister almost died last year and it gave me pretty horrific health anxiety. I am just not sure what to do at this point, I am so afraid of dying randomly, I know we have no control over that really but I just want to know that this is just withdrawal and it will get better, my thoughts are so fear filled right now.

[[fi...]]

I'm 42 months off Klonopin and still am battling digestive issues and tremendous weight loss (over 30 lbs.).  Also battling fatigue and depression.  This has been going on for almost 2 years.

[[Ne...]]

Thx guys! Just laying low and eating the BRAT diet, DGL and Tums/Roland’s. I dont want to get involved with Zantac or Prilosec just yet. I don’t get the Benzo belly (bloating) but I have a lot of back pain. Feeling like gastritis/IBS. Really frustrated and trying to figure out where this came from. 

Wondering if it has anything to do with eating lots of junk last week🤔

Paying the price big time this week.

Hope you guys are hanging in there and getting some good hours here and there,

New girl❤️

[[Ch...]]

I could really use some encouragement this evening. Today is my birthday and I spent the whole day feeling pretty depressed. I feel like I'm getting older with nothing to show for it and nothing I can do about it. I'm tired of missing out on things. I'm 33 months off and my symptoms have been extra crappy lately. I just want some hope. I've pretty much run out today.