18-30 MONTHS AND UPWARDS

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on holidays vibing to lofi beats on youtube playing some games watching the sunrise from my apartment balcony over the mountain. no anxiety today, just calm and normal. I am so grateful to god to be able to experience days like this again.

 

just checked in to see BB's. Its so different when you come here from a good space and not in desperate need or in fear. I just want to bring some good positive energy occasionally. Hang in there Meganz, Julz and Ajusta. words are kind of meaningless these days with all the hyper inflated talk in the world. But i admire all of you very much, your decency in hard times, your hope, is so life affirming, and we need to choose life everyday on this road, so thankyou for making the decision easier. keep on moving forward friends, steady steady to that calm sunrise waiting for you.

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I'm 2 years off zopiclone was made cold turkey, since trying the antidepressants the intrusive thoughts and OCD type symptoms greatly increased and been unbearable. Tried CBT, therapy, hobbies, distractions nothing eased them. Often feel I'm loosing mind and brain damaged. Has been exacerbated by the constant lockdowns here, with lack social contact and any distraction outside the home. No real physical symptoms apart from intermittent nausea and sleep problems. Getting waves but no real Windows.

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Has everyone recovered on here?. Still struggling 2 years off. Pleased for you if you've all recovered.

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I will reach 18 mo off next week so will come back after that.  Big milestones are always so anticlimactic for me.  I am sooooo much better than during the taper, working part time at a stressful job, helping with my 2 kids' virtual school, doing most of the cooking, etc etc.  I am generally happy.  But not healed yet...

 

18 mo was always the milestone my doctor had me focus on. I haven't seen him since I've been off, but i remember that number.  I know on here, I've read 2-3 yrs is more realistic.

 

I am in somewhat of a setback, I think from coconut milk, b/c of its high magnesium content.  Hypnic jerks are back.  Sucks. I hope it goes away soon.

 

But I'm optimistic and grateful for this site. Haven't been on here in a long time  - didn't feel like I fit in anymore, and didn't want to read the horror on the post-w/d board.

 

Pinky - thx for reminding me abt meditation. I meditated everyday while tapering and it helped so much. I kinda stopped when the pandemic hit b/c so much to do and my family is all home all the time.  But I want to get back into it.  In fact, will go meditate right now!

[[pi...]]

I will reach 18 mo off next week so will come back after that.  Big milestones are always so anticlimactic for me.  I am sooooo much better than during the taper, working part time at a stressful job, helping with my 2 kids' virtual school, doing most of the cooking, etc etc.  I am generally happy.  But not healed yet...

 

18 mo was always the milestone my doctor had me focus on. I haven't seen him since I've been off, but i remember that number.  I know on here, I've read 2-3 yrs is more realistic.

 

I am in somewhat of a setback, I think from coconut milk, b/c of its high magnesium content.  Hypnic jerks are back.  Sucks. I hope it goes away soon.

 

But I'm optimistic and grateful for this site. Haven't been on here in a long time  - didn't feel like I fit in anymore, and didn't want to read the horror on the post-w/d board.

 

Pinky - thx for reminding me abt meditation. I meditated everyday while tapering and it helped so much. I kinda stopped when the pandemic hit b/c so much to do and my family is all home all the time.  But I want to get back into it.  In fact, will go meditate right now!

 

very glad to hear your doing well in many quality of life ways. Meditation helps I swear, It was the only thing i noticed really put a dent in my symptoms.

 

Im trialling coconut milk at the moment on a low carb diet and I've been a bit flared up so i think that might be it, thanks for pointing it out indirectly 

 

Good to see this thread, Im not in hell anymore so i dont come here that often but im not quite healed yet either. Still got mild symtpoms i cant seem to shake.

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I will reach 18 mo off next week so will come back after that.  Big milestones are always so anticlimactic for me.  I am sooooo much better than during the taper, working part time at a stressful job, helping with my 2 kids' virtual school, doing most of the cooking, etc etc.  I am generally happy.  But not healed yet...

 

18 mo was always the milestone my doctor had me focus on. I haven't seen him since I've been off, but i remember that number.  I know on here, I've read 2-3 yrs is more realistic.

 

I am in somewhat of a setback, I think from coconut milk, b/c of its high magnesium content.  Hypnic jerks are back.  Sucks. I hope it goes away soon.

 

But I'm optimistic and grateful for this site. Haven't been on here in a long time  - didn't feel like I fit in anymore, and didn't want to read the horror on the post-w/d board.

 

Pinky - thx for reminding me abt meditation. I meditated everyday while tapering and it helped so much. I kinda stopped when the pandemic hit b/c so much to do and my family is all home all the time.  But I want to get back into it.  In fact, will go meditate right now!

 

very glad to hear your doing well in many quality of life ways. Meditation helps I swear, It was the only thing i noticed really put a dent in my symptoms.

 

Im trialling coconut milk at the moment on a low carb diet and I've been a bit flared up so i think that might be it, thanks for pointing it out indirectly 

 

Good to see this thread, Im not in hell anymore so i dont come here that often but im not quite healed yet either. Still got mild symtpoms i cant seem to shake.

 

Hey Pinky! 

It's nice to see you pop in here, dear Warrior Friend! And especially delightful to read that you are now 'only' dealing with 'mild symptoms' (as you put it yourself, although I can imagine that even mild symptoms could be very upsetting in the realm of 'normal', but seeing what you've come through...!).

 

In a way, I'm glad that this thread isn't all that active anymore, meaning that so many who have participated in it, at 18 months and beyond, slowly drop out because they are too busy with 'real life' and just too well and happy to think about all that crap anymore. But for some of us, the journey has not reached its final destination, and we have to push through yet a bit more... it's so valuable to have some veterans pop in and tell us about their 'final chapters', the ones when healing becomes a reality, a certainty. I believe this is a bit like a light that is shared with those of us who are still in the dark in our own journeys, still dealing with bad symptoms and not yet seeing much proof of healing. This is what BBs is all about. Connection and sharing. Helping hands. Soldiers here for one another. And I am so thankful for that.

 

Yes to meditation! There comes a time in the healing journey when you can finally 'put a dent' in some symptoms. In the worst of times, it may not (yet) be possible, but then... you just have to keep trying with an open mind. At first, mediation and yoga were just impossible for me - that would make me zero-in on all the horrible things inside of me, the deeeeeep 'discomfort' (that is definitely not the right word!!!), the restlessness, the ... urk, the... everything that was just horrible!! Then... slowly...

My latest discovery are soothing bedtime stories LOL! They don't always hit the spot, sometimes I am just too 'out of reach', symptomatic with anxiety/akathisia/agitation... and not any sleep story (and voice/music (or no music)) will appeal to you, but when you do find one that speaks to you, that hit that sweet spot... it is like finding a friend accompanying you to a wonderful place of dreams and slumber. Just search 'sleep stories' in podcasts and Youtube. You can also find them in apps like Calm (although most are not free) or Insight Timer (content is free). On Insight Timer, look for Glenda Cedarleaf - she is my favorite. I'll probably make a post about that with links and everyone can chime in with their own suggestions.

 

Anyhow, keep strong everyone. And thank you to all of those who keep popping in to share their journey into recovery, that is so so so appreciated, thank you 

 

Warm healing hugs to everyone 

Julz

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Haven't been on here in a while. I'm at 21 months off now.  Definitely better than I was at 18 mo, so I guess healing continues.  It's amazing how many stages of "better" there are - means I was in such bad shape once upon a time.  I'm reading more and more that 2-3 yrs off is the time for full healing for many folks.  Will see.  But overall, I'm almost there.  Any insight on how you know once you are truly "healed"?

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Hi libr, no idea how to tell when we are healed.  I m doing better then I was at 18 months also.  On the other hand I still have rough mornings and a handful of sx that vary in intensity throughout the day.  My afternoons are fair to good and I have always slept 4-7 hours with an occasional rougher nights sleep sprinkled in there.  My mental is from okay to good most of the time.  How about you?  Anybody?

 

U

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I'm 28 months off, mental symptoms still there, and had lot family stress recently. But have finally made bit progress the last week or so. I sometimes wonder if it takes you longer if you were made to cold turkey? Everyone seems different no rhyme nor reason as to why some of us take longer to recover.