why cant she just pull herself together and go to work

[[br...]]

When was the last time you saw a doctor?

[[Be...]]

I do all the time.

[[po...]]

Yes, it is unfortunately normal for benzo wd…...

[[ea...]]

 

 

 

 

 

"Keep telling yourself you will heal so your brain starts to believe it, your telling yourself you won't so that's what your telling your brain to believe, this is how I get through it so you got to start doing the same or you will drive yourself insane!!!"  - Woofs

 

I truly believe that Woofs is correct. If we tell ourselves something over and over, we begin to believe it. If you told yourself "I am stupid and ugly" fifty times a day, you would start to believe you are stupid and ugly, even if you were a Beauty Queen. If you tell yourself that you will never heal, you believe it, and you might even delay your healing. The power of positive thinking does work.

If you start telling yourself that you WILL heal, you WILL feel better, and that you ARE normal in what youre going through, you may start to feel a lot better.

east

[Guest [Mi...]]

 

"Keep telling yourself you will heal so your brain starts to believe it, your telling yourself you won't so that's what your telling your brain to believe, this is how I get through it so you got to start doing the same or you will drive yourself insane!!!"  - Woofs

 

I truly believe that Woofs is correct. If we tell ourselves something over and over, we begin to believe it. If you told yourself "I am stupid and ugly" fifty times a day, you would start to believe you are stupid and ugly, even if you were a Beauty Queen. If you tell yourself that you will never heal, you believe it, and you might even delay your healing. The power of positive thinking does work.

If you start telling yourself that you WILL heal, you WILL feel better, and that you ARE normal in what youre going through, you may start to feel a lot better.

east

 

Woofs and East are speaking wise words here, GG. I'll add that gratitude journals, guided meditations, redirecting your thoughts to something positive every time they go negative  - I believe this speeds healing and when you're well, you'll have this type of behavior so ingrained that you'll be mentally healthier than anyone else on the planet!

 

When you start doing this, it sounds very, very artificial. You tell yourself you're going to get well, you're going to get your dream job (or spouse and family - whatever it is you really want out of life) and it sounds fake at first.

 

Keep doing it, though, and the thoughts begin to pop up where you least expect them. Now when I'm out walking my dog, Lexi, I start thinking about a really cool job I want or about feeling good enough to go hiking. The thoughts are now randomly popping up without me having to force myself to think positively. It's taken several months of really working at it, but it really is paying off.

 

It's a skill I'll always have now. I can't recommend doing this enough.

 

And BTW, this is coming from someone who spent nearly 30 years on a lot of psychiatric drugs, so if I can do it, I know you can to. Start slow at first, spend a few minutes a day writing in a gratitude journal, listening to meditations, and catching ALL negative thoughts and redirecting them. You'll get there, GG. I really know you will. 

 

Right now, I'm afraid you're literally "training" your brain to go negative, and that's a bad habit to get into. It's utterly exhausting. Just try a few minutes a day. Maybe spend some time on the Accentuate the Positive! threads and give yourself permission to feel good about the positive things in your life (having a home, food to eat, a website with buddies to help you through this, etc).

 

I hope your dad is doing okay. Know you got a lot on your plate right now, and I hope you see some improvement soon. 

[[ea...]]

Beautifully said, Mindseeker. Thanks.

This is a habit I got into early in withdrawal...not on purpose, more as a coping method because I felt so utterly crazy and lost. It has now become a habit.

Could you explain what a "gratitude journal" is?

Thank you....

east

[[Be...]]

Thank you.

Can i even heal if i have so much else going on????can i heal in a negative environment?

Did anyone else experience what i desxribed earlier? Is everything normal for my wd? Could i have trained my braon into not healing out of fear?? Can a brain calm down afzer bwing in fear ao long? Doesnt everyone not believe they recover?

[Guest [Or...]]

Thank you.

Can i even heal if i have so much else going on????can i heal in a negative environment?

Did anyone else experience what i desxribed earlier? Is everything normal for my wd? Could i have trained my braon into not healing out of fear?? Can a brain calm down afzer bwing in fear ao long? Doesnt everyone not believe they recover?

 

It can calm down, GG. The stress just has to pass. Last Wednesday my partner (Who is the only person I can see right now) was out of town for the entire day. This caused me to be, like you, paralyzed in fear. All I could do was pace the house and constantly try to catch my breath. I had a major fear of passing out and being found dead to be eaten by my cats. A week later, I am still here. lol. As we all are. But, once my partner came home the next few days were great! But, starting Monday night I entered into a wave which *knock on wood* seems to be lifting today? Maybe?

[Guest [Mi...]]

Beautifully said, Mindseeker. Thanks.

This is a habit I got into early in withdrawal...not on purpose, more as a coping method because I felt so utterly crazy and lost. It has now become a habit.

Could you explain what a "gratitude journal" is?

Thank you....

east

 

East, I've enjoyed our correspondence over the weeks because you are soooo positive! 

 

Yes, I'll be glad to explain a "gratitude journal." Even in the midst of complete chaos, most of us have the basics. Even if it's not much, we can find something.

 

It could be your apartment or house, a friend's room that you're staying at, having food, a pet, a good book or movie to watch, a positive conversation with a friend, Benzo Buddies was always high on my list!

 

The science behind this is when you concentrate your thoughts on the positive thoughts, the negative thoughts go away after awhile. It really works, too. I've been one of the biggest negative thinkers on the planet for decades, but somewhere during this process, I became so lost in the dp/dr, and I started listening to guided meditations and learning how not to listen to all of those awful benzo lies about not healing. And now, I really don't spend any time at all dwelling on the fact that my finances aren't good, I'm working a dead end job that I hate. I'd rather think about the cool jobs I'll have in the future when I'm not on any medication!

 

So just take a journal or notebook and write down what you're thankful for having. I think writing it down really helps. And try to do a little bit every day until it loses that "artificial" feeling and starts to feel "real."

 

It's kind of like if you do nothing but watch scary movies, you're going to be scared. If you watch comedies, you at least give yourself the option to smile.

[[Be...]]

Orion but my partner and dad porbably wont be back. Is it even possible to heal with all this?? Images of my dad popping in my head the last he seen me in utter despair. Ect......

I am a negativr thinker too it is hard to tjink positive in the situation i am in.....o am worried tjat my fear of it taking years will make it take years.

Has anyone had waves like that they were paralyzed?

[Guest [Or...]]

Orion but my partner and dad porbably wont be back. Is it even possible to heal with all this?? Images of my dad popping in my head the last he seen me in utter despair. Ect......

I am a negativr thinker too it is hard to tjink positive in the situation i am in.....o am worried tjat my fear of it taking years will make it take years.

Has anyone had waves like that they were paralyzed?

 

Hmm, this may shock you, but you worrying about your dads last image of you being in despair is not depression. =) Thats genuine emotion. And yes, you can heal from that. When the benzo withdrawal starts to ease up (Meaning, the depression from that eases) the depression, as it is not natural for you, will return. Who knows? There may even be a chance for you to kindle your relationship with your partner one day. He probobly just got scared. But, when you return to your normal self, he will see that it really was all the drugs.

[[ea...]]

Mindseeker, thank you for explaining. I did this without giving it a name, during my first year of withdrawal. I kept a private journal, and tried to write down as many positive things about my life as I could think of. I always tried to counter my negative thoughts with positive. It worked. GG - do you hear us? This silly sounding technique works.

 

And I agree with Orionbash....your reaction is completely normal, and a normal emotion. A question for you: were you a "negative thinker" before???

 

You have to try to shake loose this notion you have about your "taking years" to heal. Its yet another truly negative thought and its not based on reality. Second: even if it DID take you, say, two years to heal, SO WHAT? You would be healing all during those two years, and feeling better all the time. All of this would become a distant memory, an unpleasant memory, and you would feel fine. Isnt your life worth taking the time to get over this?  I think it is.

 

And there is no reason why it should take you years to recover. Let me put it this way: it is highly unlikely you will heal that slowly.

 

Come on GG.....you are a bright lady with a bright future ahead of you.  Think about what these good people have told you, and try to use their suggestions. You can do this.

 

east

[[Wo...]]

I feel like woofs but also get what orion is saying. My situation.isnt helping. Dad and boyfriend. I am sireously worried i am doomed for life.....,and have to live in a mental home becauae it is too much torture. I am not able to do anything just lie there. My problem is i have lost and am loosing everything. Adding another drug may worsen everything. I dont k.ow anymore. My situation makes it very hard toughen out. Very!

I have nothing to hope for and look forward to and if 9 montjs is early. Good night. Everyone heals right? Everyone??

 

9 months is not early in recovery when the majority are healed by 12 months out. Most people by 12 months out to two years usually have minor symptoms. If you read what the majority of people say in the protracted section you will see that most of them say, "Im not as bad as I was early on, but my god this is hell!" And thats because they just want some form of relief from their symptoms. They are progressing, its just very slow for them.

 

There is absolutely NO shame in putting yourself into a mental institution. Many, many people on this forum have done it. Many people in life go through a moment where they need help and to be looked after to prevent harm to themselves. GG, there is only so much we on the forum can do to help you. After you mentioned suicide, it became your responsibility to take your life into your own hands. You need to do what is best for you to stay safe. Whether that is just being in the care of doctors, or taking an SSRI, whatever. You cant rely on this forum if you are considering suicide. None of us can give you the help you need.

 

For someone who is very early out well said. I must applaud you on the sincerity of your words and I do agree with your response to me, I am just worried that GG would not cope with any increase in symptoms and SSRI are known to increase things in the beginning before they start to work..

 

If GG can accept that and is prepared to suffer a little worse to get some hopeful relief then she should go for it, anything is better than suicide, and given a choice I'd prefer to try an SSRI than go to hospital and be force fed pills against my will, I know they can't force feed you against your will but if she starts telling them how she feels on here they might section her and then take away her powers to make her own decisions, so if I was GG and I could not take it anymore then trying an SSRI would be the best way to go.. But she could try a relaxer than is non benzo or ATARAX which many on here swear by to take the edge off..

 

There is also a good thread in the supplement forum about Inositol and I have not seen one bad or negative comment about it on the thread yet, think the thread is called Inositil my life saver

 

OB how are you coping so early out? At your time off I was bed bound and in the seventh circle of hell

 

I think Benzo withdrawal hurts us where we are most vulnerable. So, while Im not bedbound sick, I have other symptoms that would drive people bonkers. Like, I focus on every single breath that I take all goddamn day until about 5-7pm where the feeling magically disappears and I am OK. Its like the feeling you get in a panic attack where you arent able to breathe, but I have that all day. I just breathe through it, I suppose. lol But yeah, anxiety is really my only symptom that remains. I get the occasional skin crawling, muscle twitches, and other crap. But, I took the meds for anxiety. Actually, I took them for two panic attacks because I didnt want to get them while at work. My anxiety has never been this bad in my life lol. But, in my case, the worst that can happen to me is I pass out for not being able to control my breathing right. So, it doesnt scare me that much. Its more of an annoyance than anything.

 

I guess, overall, Im good at faking it online. But, dont get me wrong...I cry -- a lot. And I have a lot of irrational fears stemming from my anxiety. But, that should be lessed in the next month when I get out of acute. I know you are having one wicked ride, Woofs. But, I applaud you on keeping your cool throughout this process. Especially so long.

 

Thank you so much OB for saying so, I was always a warrior and it will have to kill me before I give up as I want my life back so I will fight to the end to get it💪

 

If I make it that far out and Im still suffering as much as you, I will read your success story for support. Cheers, that's a very nice way of putting it, bless you 👍 🍀🍀🍀🍀 WOOFS🍀🍀🍀🍀

[[Wo...]]

thank you very very much woofs and lui and all of you

i have to ask this now! it scared me so much

i was paralized with terror and fear for 2 hours. i couldnt move and had hotflashes and rapid heart beat. my feelings were out of this world. is this still normal? i really could not do anything not even talk! this was so terriffying!! It jas happend to me before my dads situation

 

i was perfectly normal before lorazepam perfectly

 

100% Normal, I used to get it for days on end not hours, now it comes and goes, it's still terrfying but does not last very long anymore but yes comes out of nowhere, back then I had it all the time for no reason, now it's stress that will trigger it, so I think your CNS can't handle the stress of your Dad and maybe that's what triggered it??

 

It will terrify you but it can't kill you? Try to believe that, everything your feeling is just sensations of a damaged CNS that is trying to heal, it's just your not healed enough yet for your CNS to carry the stress of your Dad on top of withdrawal..

 

 

 

[Guest [Mi...]]

GG, what Woofs, east, and Orion have said is spot on - you're dealing with a real crushing emotion right now with your dad.

 

I don't know why withdrawal gets worse for some before it gets better. It's so random. And then when you add on real life stress, it's even more of a weight on your CNS.

 

Keep posting and let us help you carry the weight, GG. It will get better. I promise you. 

[[Be...]]

It's mom. She feels very bad like in acute again. But she can sleep better now. I think her feeling so bad has to do with her dad's condition though she doesn't want to admit it. She is scared that the trauma might be too much for her brain. But that is just my girl, worrying too much, always.

[Guest [Or...]]

It's mom. She feels very bad like in acute again. But she can sleep better now. I think her feeling so bad has to do with her dad's condition though she doesn't want to admit it. She is scared that the trauma might be too much for her brain. But that is just my girl, worrying too much, always.

 

She might just be enduring a really bad wave that may have been triggered by your husbands accident. Just be there for her, re-assure her that she will heal, and dont treat her like she is damaged permanently. Your support and unconditional love will do more for her than we can. She will make it through this.

[[Be...]]

Its me gg i feel doomed every second of the day really all the time amd yes east i was a negative thinker before. What if my negativity will keep me in this?? I am always saying i will heal i will heal. What if i have to live with panic attacks forever? I never haf anything like that. I am scared i will live in a doomed world forever? Can one even heal with so much stress??

[[br...]]

I don't mean to push meds, but Paxil got rid of my anxiety in about 2 weeks.  Ever try an SSRI? 

[Guest [Or...]]

GG you won't have panic attacks forever. Jo and Baylissa on the cepuk website both didn't have issues with anxiety before benzos. They fully healed and Jo said she just has a little anxiety. There is KlonopinKills on YouTube that is the same. No anxiety before benzos and none after withdrawal. Don't worry! And if its too much, Brooke has had relief with an SSRI. It does help when you are at the end of your rope.

[[Be...]]

I am so scared of ssri. I want this to pass. It is so scary not having one single minute of peace or a window or hope. I am scared for my life. I am scared of taking a ssri

[[br...]]

Scared of something that might give you some relief?

[[Mo...]]

Ladies, to my knowledge Paxil is quite a dangerous drug.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8js-bzzH_Nk

 

 

 

[[ea...]]

Let's all be careful we aren't (without meaning to-) encouraging someone else to take a new drug. GG has said several times she does not want to take an AD, especially an SSRI. Many of us feel the same way. They simply do not work on many people, can have side effects and may have a withdrawal. I think its great that someone found a drug that helps them: I would never put that down. But people have to make their own decisions about what they put into their bodies.

So many of us become frightened about taking anything after being in withdrawal. And who could blame us?

 

GG, how are you feeling today?

 

east

[[Be...]]

Ver very very terible. I can hardly move have no hope doom gloom, panic, anxiety, fear, terror. I am so afraid. Because there is no relief in sight. My mum dpesnt get ohw bad it is but how can she. I have had not a single minuze sympto, free in 8 months i find this alarming. I am terrffied for life and a drug only might help. I was a negative person before. I am worried my brain is not ablebto get me out of this with everything going on. I cant keep gping with no relief.