why cant she just pull herself together and go to work

[[Mo...]]

You never can be and cant look into the brain.

Oh well.

 

Complicated but no hopeless i think. He must be competent if he done his own research

on Benzo wd, means he is responsible and not just a prescription pad monkey.

[[Be...]]

Pretty much hopeless. He is just benzowise.

[[Be...]]

I am so scared. So horribly scared. Whats wrong with me?

I am so confused.

[[Mo...]]

I am so scared. So horribly scared. Whats wrong with me?

I am so confused.

 

Wish i could help, may be some more time, i don't know.

[[ea...]]

So - this doctor said your symptoms could be from benzos OR promethazine?? Can you tell me his exact words?

In over 30 years of nursing I have never heard of promethazine causing the symptoms you have described. Because of the type of drug it is (even though its  a very weak one-) it can cause tardive dyskinesia (which isn't something you have described having symptoms of). In very rare cases it can cause something dangerous called a "malignant neuroloeptic syndrome." You definitely do not have that. Withdrawal from it can occasionally cause rebound nausea, some anxiety, insomnia. I checked again, so I wouldn't be saying something not up to date - and the awful FEAR you describe, the awful SADNESS, is not known to be from promethazine.......THAT would come from the benzo you took.

Promethazine (Phenergan) is an old drug that used to be given routinely for nausea. It hasn't been used for psychiatric purposes in a long time (not widely used, anyway.) It also has a mild sedating property. They have found more effective drugs for nausea now, and more effective drugs for psychiatric problems.

east

[[Be...]]

I interpreted the fact with promethazine lol. No he said "if if were a prolonged benzo wd i would have physical symptoms" i guess i am just so freaked out by the only mental symptoms.

East, you said in the cod turkey thread most people heal. Why most? Not all? I just read that neuroleptics can damage dopamine receptors which makes life living hell......

I am very much in my own fear i feel. I feel traumatized by all this. I should shut up an heal already. Just to think i might be keeping myself in this because i read some people take 2 years...

Thanks east.

Germangirl

[[je...]]

Do you have any physical sx?? Only mental?

[[Be...]]

I did have physical in month 1. Since approx. 7 months nothing.

[[Wi...]]

What physical side effects are you "supposed" to have?  I don't recall having much in the way of physical symptoms.  I didn't realize there were "rules" to w/d. 

 

[Guest [Mi...]]

we found a Dr that believes in the Benzo WD to take a long time months/years. He said IF it would be that with me, i would have physical symptoms.....like I said.

 

we found a Dr that believes in the Benzo WD to take a long time months/years. He said IF it would be that with me, i would have physical symptoms.....like I said.

 

Interesting, but I don't know where he's getting the science behind that.

 

Bear with me, as this is a rather long post. Since we are both dealing with primarily mental withdrawal effects, I wanted to share what I've learned.

 

I've spent 30 years on psych meds and am currently slowly tapering off of my last med, Seroquel, an antipsychotic.

 

Almost all of my symptoms are mental.

 

I really want to emphasize this again:

 

Almost all of my symptoms are mental.

 

Here are my symptoms in order of how they are impacting my work and social life:

 

1.  Memory problems including anterograde amnesia.

 

Definition of anterograde amnesia:

 

Anterograde amnesia is a loss of the ability to create new memories after the event that caused the amnesia, leading to a partial or complete inability to recall the recent past, while long-term memories from before the event remain intact. Source of quote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anterograde_amnesia

 

Cause of anterograde amnesia:

 

This disorder is usually acquired in one of few ways: One cause is benzodiazepine drugs, such as midazolam, flunitrazepam, lorazepam, temazepam, nitrazepam, triazolam, and nimetazepam, which are known to have powerful amnesic effects. Source of quote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anterograde_amnesia

 

2.  Derealization:

 

Symptoms of Derealization that have been (and some continue to be) hard for me:

 

Surroundings that appear distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial, or a heightened awareness and clarity of your surroundings

Distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past

Distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects.  Source of quote: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20033401

 

3. Depersonalization:

 

This is the one symptom I have not a window for in the past 6 months. It's been unrelenting in its severity.

 

  Feelings that you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, your body or parts of your body, perhaps as if you were floating in air above yourself

    Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements

    The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton

    Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you

    A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories. Source of quote: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20033401

 

Causes of both depersonalization and derealization:

 

Listed in the Ashton Manual as a symptom of Benzodiazepine Withdrawal http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm#9

 

4. Suicidal Depression - this is only listed at the end because most of these went away. The remaining thoughts are being controlled with mindfulness meditation and positive thinking.

 

Although there are many causes of depression, this is a symptom of benzo withdrawal as listed in the Ashton Manual:

 

Sometimes the depression becomes severe enough to qualify as a "major depressive disorder", to use the psychiatric term. http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm

 

I've had a few physical problems such as jaw pain, dizziness, muscle pain and weakness, and stomach problems off and on. But by far my biggest withdrawal symptoms, even after coming off the pills, have been mental problems.

 

I was diagnosed with manic-depression in 1985 and later with Bipolar I. However, I am doing much better with only a very, very small amount of Seroquel in the evening for sleep. My mood swings are much less troublesome as I've come off of various meds. Click the Lab Rab Progress Log link in my signature for a complete list of the meds I was on.

 

I really hope you're feeling better soon. As far as doctors telling me I have a "mental illness", all I can say is "please prove it scientifically."  And the conversation ends there because there is no scientific proof of mental illness - it's subjective conjecture from a psychiatrist.

 

Please notice that I gave you definitions and cited my sources as being proof that benzos and benzo withdrawal actually do cause memory problems, depersonalization / derealization, and suicidal thinking. Nowhere does it say you must have physical symptoms.

 

Did you doctor give you scientific information to prove that you must have physical symptoms for benzo withdrawal or was that just his experience? When doctors only diagnose according to their own experience and they do not pay attention to what their peers are seeing, they are very limited and myopic in their diagnosis.

 

I'm getting well by using mindfulness techniques. I can send you some links to some really great mindfulness talks if you are interested. Mindfulness meditations and talks are really good and calming when you're feeling anxious and suicidal. I have a few waves of suicidal thinking, but for the most part, they went away after coming off a SSRI and then Klonopin.

 

Here's a video talk to get you started (it's actually my favorite):

 

 

Be well.

 

~ Mind 

[[Be...]]

Thanks you all. I just can barely hold on. Today i have crushing sadness. It feels so neverending. I have no hope . I distract but its so hard. I am still scared something else is wrong.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Thanks you all. I just can barely hold on. Today i have crushing sadness. It feels so neverending. I have no hope . I distract but its so hard. I am still scared something else is wrong.

 

I know this is hard, but if you can't stop the intrusive thoughts, just let them be. Step back from your thoughts. Stop analyzing the thoughts, looking into the future ("what if" thinking).

 

Simply sit back, relax, and listen:

 

 

These meditations didn't work at first for me, but over the months, they've drifted into a part of my consciousness, and now, being able to just relax and accept is habit.

 

Life goes on whether we're fighting these thoughts or just letting them be.  It's the struggle to fight these thoughts that wears us down.  It's so much easier now for me to acknowledge these thoughts, let them pass, and think to myself "okay, that was interesting and bizarre. I don't have to act on those thoughts. Best just to let the thoughts be and go and listen to music for now." Or whatever your distraction happens to be. Mine is gentle, quiet music for now. 

 

Here's another great meditation about "letting the thoughts be":

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Is it with you all the time? I dont get breaks. That scares me.

[Guest [Mi...]]

It was CONSTANT for months last year after I came off all antidepressants. CONSTANT. I lost a very good paying job because I was too suicidal to work.

 

And I didn't know it was a side effect of being pulled cold turkey off my AD's.

 

It took more than a year before I knew what was going on. After I knew, I was able to sit back and think, "Okay, the drugs are doing this to me. So these really aren't my thoughts at all. It's the drug talking. Why the hell should I listen???"

 

It's the stupid drugs putting stupid thoughts in your head. Why give them the satisfaction of listening to them?

 

Try listening to the meditations, taking deep belly breaths, just letting all of your muscles relax.

 

I know how exhausting these thoughts are. But don't give them the time of day. In time, you'll be tuning them out and going about your day.

 

After awhile, they start to fade into the background. After you get some more time from when you came off the drugs, the thoughts won't be there at all.

 

Just be in the moment, let the thoughts be in their moment, and concentrate on the things you are going to do when you feel better. Because you ARE healing. 

 

 

[[Be...]]

I am finishing month 8 now after only 10 weeks of use.

I hope i wont take as long as you. No offence!!

Thanks for your help!

Wow i read yohr blog. You can work, meet friends. You are living your life. I am in such a dark place i cant do anything.

[Guest [Mi...]]

You will do many things. Keep telling yourself that. 

[[Be...]]

The thing is that i can not go on like this anymore and more and more tempted to take a med because my agony is not lifting.

No mediation or mindfullness or distraction is making it any easier. At 8 months no relief i need relief. I need it!!!

[Guest [Or...]]

What about an SSRI for depression? That should at least take the edge off. The Ashton Manual says that SSRIs should be taken if people feel suicidal. She recommends Prozac.

[[Be...]]

So many people say a ad helped nothing. Honestly i would rather die than put another drug in me. And being this sensitive would have trouble coming off that. It just seems the people who have bad mentals take bloody ages

[[ea...]]

I interpreted the fact with promethazine lol. No he said "if if were a prolonged benzo wd i would have physical symptoms" i guess i am just so freaked out by the only mental symptoms.

East, you said in the cod turkey thread most people heal. Why most? Not all? I just read that neuroleptics can damage dopamine receptors which makes life living hell......

I am very much in my own fear i feel. I feel traumatized by all this. I should shut up an heal already. Just to think i might be keeping myself in this because i read some people take 2 years...

Thanks east.

Germangirl

 

I said "most" people heal because there are NO rules in bzd w/d. It isn't my place to make all-knowing comments. But, in my opinion, everyone heals.

You really need to let go of this worry about neuroleptics. And please stop doing "research". Yes, some people take two years....so what? There is no reason for you to assume you will be like that.  I know you're scared, I know you feel like giving up. So did I and many others. This is exactly why we all tell each other to distract and get busier. Nothing could be worse than sitting around worrying and being so frightened. All that does is give those bad feelings POWER over you.

Please try to really hear and accept that what you read on your own thread by others is true, because it is.

east

[[Be...]]

I am. It just doesnt make it any easier. I do things and distract. But i am just so at the end of my strenght.

Sorry for complaining so much. I just need to breath.

 

Thanks

[Guest [Mi...]]

I am. It just doesnt make it any easier. I do things and distract. But i am just so at the end of my strenght.

Sorry for complaining so much. I just need to breath.

 

Thanks

 

No need to apologize - dealing with benzo withdrawal in all it's unpleasantness is what this forum is for.

 

And yes - you do need to breathe - I couldn't have said it any better!

 

Please try to relax. Listen to the meditations I listed in my post above.

 

Here is another resource:

 

The Mindful Way Through Depression

 

The above link is for the Mindful Way Through Depression, a book for people who want to handle depression and anxiety without medication. This is the complete audio book. The guided meditation part starts at 3:57:00 on this video.

 

If you must do research, please research how meditation can CHANGE your brain. Here's something to get you started:

 

This Is Your Brain on Meditation

 

There is enough scientific evidence about how meditation changes your brain chemistry. In other words, meditation can actually undo the damage that these drugs have done.

 

This meditation stuff works. It's not a quick fix, but the sooner you get starter, the sooner it starts to work. 

[[ea...]]

The thing about distraction (and I hope I can make this clear!) is that no, it doesn't fix anything. It keeps you busy, your body and mind, and this gives you tiny breaks from the misery. If you are busy doing something, you cant possibly be always thinking about how bad you feel. Its impossible! Distraction gives you little breaks in which you can breathe.

Plus, and this is my opinion only - its possible distraction helps to "exercise" your brain, which in turn, may help you heal. Have you heard of Lumosity? Some of our members go to that site and do the free brain games...and there IS proof that this sort of mental excerise improves how the brain functions. I tried it, and just got frustrated with it...not that it was hard, just to me, it was sort of annoying. I chose instead to do other things...string beads, sew, bake, read, write. Everyone is different!

Keep on trying, GG....you'll get there.

east

[[Be...]]

Thanks all. I must be different. I drive my car, watch comedys, cuddle with the dog, make food, read and i dont ever not feel not how i feel. I want to die while doing it. I dont know anymore. I am sorry. I really am and i am really trying to do this.

[[Ch...]]

You're not alone. I do those things too and still feel like that.