why cant she just pull herself together and go to work

[[Ju...]]

Most people who take seroquel in benzo wd dont feel healed if they take it. I did.

God i am so sorry

 

I've read of many people who found seroquel could cover up some of their benzo withdrawal.  But seroquel when taken long term, usually requires a taper too.  So most opt not to take it even though it may help 'some' people.

 

And no, usually what damages a person makes them feel worse in the long run, in my opinion.

 

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all of this go away for you sweetie.  Everything is going to be ok.  You will heal.  One day all of this will be a distant memory.  Life will be good again and I'll be asking for my German Chocolate cake.  I'm holding you to this, even if it has to be a virtual piece of cake. 

[[sn...]]

If you feel better on the seroquel why don't you take it and get some relief?  It lowers your thyroid so you would have to get that checked.  There's no shame in taking medication if your at your wits end!

 

I'm sure it covered up the benzo withdrawal but it will help with your thoughts, anxiety and sleep.  I'm not advocating you take it but you seem to be in a lot of pain and at the end of your rope.  It's your life and you need to make the right decision for you.

 

Your not damaged.  You will heal.  There is a purpose for all of this.  God is in control and you will be a better person for going through this, we all will be.

 

Best of luck?

God bless you and keep you healthy and bless you with His peace,

Deborah

[[sn...]]

I meant Best of luck!

[[Be...]]

Before i was so messed up i sent german xmas cookies to the us.

What just really scares me i felt completley healed not just somewhat.

Thank you juliae. God i hope you all are right. We never really know for sure. Thank you deborah i am too freaked by meds i cant take any more

I am so much weaker than all of you. 

[[ea...]]

There you go again putting yourself down. You are not weaker than anyone else here...in fact, in some ways I think you are stronger. Many people couldn't, wouldn't, open up on a forum such as this, and you do.

east

 

[[sn...]]

You are definitely not weaker.  You are very strong!  Keep standing strong.  I'm praying for you!

[[Ju...]]

I agree, you're not weaker than the rest of us.  I was so sick and upset when I arrived here I could hardly write out a post on the board.  And posting made me physically and mentally sick.  I was scared and I was soooooo sick.  I got better and so will you.  Just keep going minute by minute and day by day and you will begin to notice .... Ahhhh, I might be feeling a tiny bit better.  And then one day you'll think I believe I 'might' be feeling better.  And then one day, you will know and will say, I do feel better.  It does not usually happen overnight.  We just very slowly get better!  I have NO DOUBT you will begin to feel better. 

[[Be...]]

Thanks all of you!

So i dont have to be worried that seroquel covered all my sxs?

God i hope it comes soon. I seem to be getting worse at the moment. My doom feeling sits on my chest and is telling me to cry all the time. The only thing i think when i watch funny movies or see people is they dont feel benzo is that even normal!

[[Ju...]]

You want to know what I think GermanGirl?  Well, here it comes, ready or not.   

 

I believe hitting the 8 month mark has freaked you out even more than usual.  It's just another crappy day in paradise girlfriend.  I remember hitting a milestone and thinking:  I'm not healed YET??      And I got myself into a tizzy over NOT being healed by a certain date. 

 

Benzo withdrawal doesn't care about our monthly anniversaries. 

 

You'll heal!  I just know it because I can feel it in my bones.  Now take that to the bank. 

 

And no, I would not be worried in the least bit that seroquel covered up some of my benzo withdrawal.  It probably made you sleep, blissfully and the restful sleep made you feel 100% better.

 

BTW, how is your sleep?

[[Be...]]

I didnt have one feeling of doom on seroquel. It covered up everything.

Juliea i asked east too. But did you have the doom feeling with you really all the time? It doesnt give me a break.

I sleep  very patchy (i did before wd too thats why i took ativan) i sleep maybe 5 patchy hrs now. I wake up a lot.

Will i feel totally normal? Happy calm and no benzofeeling or thinking?

[[Ju...]]

But did you have the doom feeling with you really all the time? It doesnt give me a break.

 

When I was in the thick of it, it was doom, gloom, agony and despair.  24/7 and only relieved when I was asleep.  And I had this terrible feeling something really bad was about to happen.  It was horrific.  But I got better over time.  I did not wake up one day and and BOOM it was gone.  I very slowly got better.

 

Will i feel totally normal? Happy calm and no benzofeeling or thinking?

 

Yes!  You will eventually feel back to normal.  In fact you will forget just how horrible you feel right now.  Even if I try to remember now that these feeling are over, it's hard to remember exactly how I felt.  I have to try hard to remember.  There wasn't one day I did not wake up and not think about my withdrawal when I was in the thick of things.  Now, the only time I think about benzo withdrawal is when I'm helping someone else.  But I'm not thinking about me, if you know what I mean.  I'm trying to remember to help the other person, to give them my experience so they can have hope for a better future.

 

I know this is completely exhausting.  I was so tired of feeling so awful.  But I pulled out of it and so will you GermanGirl.

[[Be...]]

Thank you!

I read about you just now. Did you feel like this during taper or after? So its ok feeling like this after benzo? Even at full 7 months no break no need to worry? Easst said no already, i know. It scares me that i am still so bad because if its gradually the road is still very long..

I am scared every night of the morning....they are so horriffic. Thank you so much for your help.

[[Ju...]]

Thank you!

I read about you just now. Did you feel like this during taper or after? So its ok feeling like this after benzo? Even at full 7 months no break no need to worry? Easst said no already, i know. It scares me that i am still so bad because if its gradually the road is still very long..

I am scared every night of the morning....they are so horriffic. Thank you so much for your help.

 

I had my worst bouts of the doom and gloom during tolerance PRIOR to even starting my taper.  I was already withdrawing but didn't know it.  But I've had it happen at other times too. 

 

Whether it happens when the person is still taking a benzo or after the benzo is withdrawn it's still withdrawal.  It's the bodies reaction to not having the benzo it wants to calm our central nervous system down.  We're in a state of fight or flight.  But all of this eventually calms down.  It really does.

 

No, you aren't alone in feeling like this at 7 or 8 months.  Remember, I've been here a while so I've seen lots of folks go through what you're going through right now. 

 

You'll get better.  And you're welcome. 

[[Be...]]

I know nobody can say anything but i hope so much that feeling so bad still now doesnt mean it will take ages more if its a gradual healing. Are you scared to feel like this again all the time? I hope i wont be scared that this or that will set me back forever in my lif or be anxious (never was before)or stress sensitve forever.

Hope to hear from you again.

[[ea...]]

No, I am not scared anymore that it will happen again. Oh I have days when certain of my symptoms are worse again but I do not let it stop me or scare me. I have been through too much to let this stuff worry me now.

 

Your feeling bad now does not mean it will take you longer to heal! I have ""met" many, many people on this forum who had horrible, agonizing symptoms and got better a whole lot sooner than I did.  Way back, during some of my worst months, I spent a lot of time reading and answering Introductions. I tried to be supportive and helpful, especially to  those who I felt were suffering the worse. I have always been sympathetic to the cold turkey folks...I can so relate to them! But very often, I would welcome people, they were grateful, and in a month or two they felt great and disappeared. I recall thinking, "Well, how come that hasn't happened to me yet?" But I refused to let these thoughts get the best of me. I just kept going, because I believed what I was told...that I, too, would heal. And I did! What I was told was the truth, and what I tell you is the truth as best as I know it.

east

[[Ju...]]

Are you scared to feel like this again all the time? I hope i wont be scared that this or that will set me back forever in my life.

Hope to hear from you again.

 

I'm here for a little while longer.  Then I'm going to watch a football game at my next door neighbor's house.  And if you'd asked me if I thought I could ever again have a desire to go socialize when I was feeling the way you are, I'd have said "No way".  But I can do fun things again and they don't scare me or make me feel bad.

 

And no I'm not scared it's going to happen again.  I've lost all fear about what happened.  It's something that if I did not have an excellent memory, I would have completely forgotten about.  But I don't want to forget, if I'm honest.  I have to 'make myself' remember.  I don't want to ever be tempted to take a quick fix for sleep again.  So I try to remember so I can help others and not be tempted to take something for sleep again.

 

You'll see exactly what I mean when you start feeling better.  You'll have to force yourself to remember.

[[Be...]]

So you act totally normal you can travel, watch scary movies? Doint avoid this food or that and stay up as long as you want.....i guess so if you are healed you are healed....i am just scared becauae people seem to have setbacks out of the blue months later or when pregnant? Or being anxious a bit forever sensitve to stress! Like its a life sentance. I would like to think of being healed when healed. Us football?

 

East what symptoms? You mean physical?

[[Ju...]]

So you act totally normal?

 

Normal?  Me?    Yes, I'm back my normal, crazy self.  I'm actually a pretty fun, person.  I'm back to being somewhat the life of the party, cracking jokes, laughing and generally enjoying life. 

 

Doint avoid this food or that and stay up as long as you want.....

 

I can stay up as long as I like and eat and drink anything I want.  I recently had a flair up of a stomach problem, (not benzo related), where I had to change my diet a little bit, but it had nothing to do with benzo withdrawal.

 

i guess so if you are healed you are healed....i am just scared becauae people seem to have setbacks out of the blue months later or when pregnant? Or being anxious a bit forever sensitve to stress! Like its a life sentance. I would like to think of being healed when healed.

 

Remember a set back is not usually FULL BLOWN, ACUTE benzo withdrawal.  There is a big difference.  I'm not totally 100% healed PHYSICALLY, but I am 100% healed MENTALLY.  I still get a few physical symptoms from time to time.  But I no longer get ANY mental symptoms.  This is the way my healing is going.

 

But remember if I count the time I was first prescribed a benzo to the day I took my last benzo, I took them for 30 years. 

 

2-weeks of Halcion first prescribed on my Honeymoon in 1984.

Then my mother kept giving me Xanax until I was actually prescribed my own Xanax in 1989.

And then prescribed from 1989 to 2013.

 

This is 30-years of benzo use.

 

So, you can't compare my case and yours.  This is why I believe I was hit so hard.

 

Us football?

 

Yes.  Go Carolina Panthers! 

 

Off to wash my hair.  Yak at ya later GermanGirl. 

 

[[ea...]]

I choose not to watch anything scary...that stuff never appealed to me anyway. Yes, I could travel but Im too poor to di that.

Stay up as long as I want? No. I have a set routine for bed, because I have severe problems with sleep still. I can eat anything I wish to.

In my opinion, you are worrying about the "what if's." Its a waste of your time, seriously a waste of your time. Nothing you can do will change what will happen in the future, but you CAN change the present. And that is why we all keep suggesting things for you to do, to try. Each person has to find their own way, but having all the great suggestions here is a huge help. he catch is that you have to actually have to DO those things, and see which ones help YOU. What works for me wont necessarily work for you.

There are so many great ideas on this forum, whether its in the Depression section, Anxiety or Insomnia. I read a lot of them, tried many things, and settled on the ones that seemed to help me. You can do this, too. But you have to put your mind to it, settle in and start working on things.

My symptoms - at the present are both physical and mental. Lately certain physical symptoms have been worse. And I still don't sleep well at all. I am not going to give you a symptom list. It wouldn't help you. But whatever I have, I try to cope with, as best as I can. Its not always easy! There are moments when I find myself thinking "Why keep trying?" but then I look at how far Ive come, and I keep right on going. 

east

[[Be...]]

Juliea unfortunatley the one thing i learned was that time on the drug means nothing.

 

I can only keep going as long as i can.

[[ea...]]

LOL! Forgot this:

 

GO REDSKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

east

[[Om...]]

Are you taking any supplements ...Omega 3 DHA EPA ....Vitamin C ....what are the nutrition choices ....keeping Histamines down to assist with sleep so avoiding foods that raise Histamine for now ....sleep is very important ...do you eat when youre hungry ....or do you eat cause of the Anxiety ...or not eating enough

[[Be...]]

I dont take any supplements i take nothing. I dont have anxiety. I only have a suicidal doom torture feelng 24/7. Thats why i am not sure its the benzos, again. If that one and only feeling of torture and gloom wouldnt be here i wouls be myself.

Crazy.

[[Wo...]]

I know it's an insanely difficult situation for you because, as an observer, you have no ability to understand what she's going through (assuming it is a matter of withdrawal screwing her up). As a mother, you love her deeply and have the instinct to want to kick her in the butt so she gets out there and makes a better life for herself.

 

To maybe give you some insight into what this is like, consider my story. I'm in my fifth month of recovery and am totally non-functional still during my waves. Before all of this started (April 1, 2014), I was:

 

-a research scientist who worked in the Bioinformatics and Computational Biology industries

-the owner of a very successful business in data analysis

-in the process of starting another company and securing funding from investors

-a professional mixed martial arts fighter

-a whitewater kayaker who competed in filmed-stunt competitions

-former lead singer/guitarist of an alternative rock band (college years)

-former professional rugby player (Hong Kong Rugby Union)

 

. I can promise you that I'm not in any way trying to showboat here. I want you to understand how far I've fallen. I was a very high-functioning individual who loved life and lived it fearlessly, involving myself in all kinds of different activities and circumstances just for the thrill of variety. I was also good at the things that I did.

 

Now? I'm like a helpless child. I'm constantly in a state of terror, physical pain, akathisia, and I literally feel mentally retarded frequently. My short-term memory is shot, my problem-solving abilities are severely compromised, and on many days I'm totally incapable of leaving the house or doing anything except lying down to cry and pray that I'm able to make it through the day without killing myself. Until the withdrawal, I have always been ferociously independent. Hell, I moved out of the house on my own when I was 17 years old and headed to Hong Kong where I didn't know a single soul and would be entirely alone (I wanted to become a fighter). Now I can't do a damn thing for myself and live day to day in psychotic terror and agony. My poor fiance' has to tend to my helpless self and, if it wasn't for my established business helping to pay the bills, we'd have no income coming in whatsoever and I have no clue what would happen.

 

My life has literally been destroyed for the past four and a half months and I am absolutely terrified that I'll never recover.

 

I don't know what your daughter's situation is because I'm not her, but I can tell you from my own experience that there is literally no limit to what these psychoactive drugs can do to you. They can rip apart your very identity and send you into a living hell.

 

The hope that I desperately cling to is the one that she needs: that she will eventually heal; that all of the symptoms are normal and expected for anyone in the same condition; and that the current length of her withdrawal history (7 months in her case) is still relatively early, and people often heal MUCH later on.

 

So well said and so accurately written..

 

What you where before and what this has taken from you is spot on, the bit about your fiancée looking after you struck a cord with me as only for mine I know there is no way in this world would I have survived this so far, her love, belief and understanding has saved me many times when this insane journey has become too much.. She says she can't imagine what I'm going through but she knows how successful and fearless I was before so she knows that all that happened in between was 2 weeks of Lorazepam for chronic headaches..

 

She saw me go from normal, successful and fearless after stopping only 2 weeks use, I had no idea what I was taking as my doc at the time assumed my headaches where work / life stress related and said here these will help you relax until the stress passes, after 2 weeks they where doing nothing for the headaches so I just stopped none the wiser. Welcome to hell, had no idea what was happening to me and doc would not believe me s found a new doc who told me I was in withdrawal and put me back on, worst mistake I ever made should never have gone back on had I known then what I know now! I'm 21 months off since I finished my 4 month taper and I can't ever see this ending but one thing I will say is 'This is Real' this is not all in our heads and there is nothing else in this world to explain what happened me so I know the Benzos caused this and ruined my life..

 

I have never missed a days work in my life before this, never ever had a sick day, ran pubs and clubs 7 days a week and worked every hour required, looking back the been a workaholic probarbly did cause my stress headaches, now I have not been able to work since and I have list everything except my fiancée who has kept us afloat, why does she do it ? She says she knows hand on heart that once I get better that I will get it all back as she says she knows the real me who she loves is still in there, she sees glimpses of him already when I can't but she says no matter what she will never give up on me as she knows without doubt there is no other explanation to explain what happened me and she believes benzos ruined my life so hopes from what she has read and researched that I will get better even though I give up hope most days she won't let me..

 

So good luck to the ones who can work, like everything else I can only assume some peoples withdrawal is not as bad as others as some get severe symptoms that others don't, mine been severe disabling DP/DR, Unbearable Fear, Chronic Anxiety, Severe insane head pressure, terrifying Vertigo, Confusion, Disorientation, leg cramps and electrical pins and needles so severe they make me cry still at 21 months off!!!!

 

 

How anyone could work feeling like this every day would be impossible, when I go out I have no idea where I am or who I am and that in itself makes me a liability..

 

If I ever heal I will get it all back as the real me won't stop until I get back everything these benzos stole from me but when that will be is the hardest part as every morning I wake I still think how am I going to get through this again for another day, it just feels like it will never end and that we are too brain damaged to ever be who we where before ever again, but hope is all we got..

 

Total Healing To All

 

Woofs

[[Be...]]

f%$% me woofs your story really scares me. there is no way i can do this as long as you.

 

germangirl