Eastcoast's Trip

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Yup. I truly do love this wonderful cat. What a wonderful gift from God he was.

 

I just heard from someone who was forced to have ECT early in withdrawal. OMG. What a truly horrific thing that must have been. I feel SO bad for this person. Its bad enough he/she was already in bwd. And then given ECT? Holy Mother Of God. How totally horrible.

My heart is hurting for this wonderful person who is so worth saving. So worth struggling for.

 

How are you doing, NM? Anything good going on or something that made you happy today?

annie AND Mr Bear

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I know I talk about Mr Bear a lot. But he makes me happy and gives me love. He is curled up on my desk next to my laptop. Purring. Waiting and wanting to be petted. He is totally relaxed and very content right now. He wants me to pet his tummy, which is warm and very soft. He huge paws stretch out and knead the air, a sign that means a cat is relaxed, comfortable and with his Mother. Symbolic kneading of his Mothers belly, to get her milk. Cats are truly amazing to me.

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I do think this is GOOD progress and proves to me that you are healing now. Baby steps lead to big steps. You dealt with an insomnia night without panicking. Dealt with your son without losing it. WAY TO GO, LADY!

 

I have been a bit active on a FB site for benzos. I am finding a lot of misinformation there and a LOT (way too many-) scary negative posts. Seems like on that forum people just lie about in bed, thinking rest will heal them. NOT! I read post after post like this today. I may become unpopular there quickly because THIS old lady does not lie. I tell the truth as I know it and lying in bed just makes WD symptoms worse. This is NOT a disease! Benzo WD is a temporary CONDITION. Yes it affects your brain, which controls everything about you. But your brain does NOT need rest to recover from this. Over the years I have seen this over and over here on BB. People who tell themselves that they are "sick" tend to do worse than those who slowly understand that benzo WD is NO an illness. Once you get that basic concept, it becomes a lot easier to distract yourself and keep on moving no matter what.

Yup, I know. Annie is on her soapbox again. LOL!

[Guest [NM...]]

I do think this is GOOD progress and proves to me that you are healing now. Baby steps lead to big steps. You dealt with an insomnia night without panicking. Dealt with your son without losing it. WAY TO GO, LADY!

 

I have been a bit active on a FB site for benzos. I am finding a lot of misinformation there and a LOT (way too many-) scary negative posts. Seems like on that forum people just lie about in bed, thinking rest will heal them. NOT! I read post after post like this today. I may become unpopular there quickly because THIS old lady does not lie. I tell the truth as I know it and lying in bed just makes WD symptoms worse. This is NOT a disease! Benzo WD is a temporary CONDITION. Yes it affects your brain, which controls everything about you. But your brain does NOT need rest to recover from this. Over the years I have seen this over and over here on BB. People who tell themselves that they are "sick" tend to do worse than those who slowly understand that benzo WD is NO an illness. Once you get that basic concept, it becomes a lot easier to distract yourself and keep on moving no matter what.

Yup, I know. Annie is on her soapbox again. LOL!

 

Thank you again, Annie, and PREEEEEACH. Getting off this drug SUCKS. No doubt, but there are so many things we can do and not do to help ourselves.

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Thanks again for your wisdom!!!!

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HI blue and NM!

You guys are precisely why I still come here.

I am bumping this up for a new friend who is in trouble.

 

[Guest [NM...]]

HI blue and NM!

You guys are precisely why I still come here.

I am bumping this up for a new friend who is in trouble.

 

Awwww you’re sweet!!!!! ❣️❣️❣️❣️

[Guest [NM...]]

Holy effing crap. I meant to address the ECT you mentioned in another post. WHYYYYY?? Whyyyyyyyyy??? 😓😭😓😭😓

 

Edited to clarify that I did not have ECT nor would I ever consent to it!!

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Holy Moly. I wrote a nice long piece on how to deal with withdrawal symptoms and for some reason, it did not post. Phooey on this crap.

NM, you have lost me. ECT??? HUH? I know it means electric shock therapy but who do you mention this? I know I am tired and maybe not thinking straight.

I cannot believe my post somehow got lost. I was on a roll and found some good words to explain why we feel so odd and awful. Oh well. It is lost in cyberspace now.

 

Bear is sleeping on the other chair. I got home at 3 pm, tired and a bit crabby. A five hour day cleaning is a lot for this LOL. Bear met me inside the door, and led me to the kitchen. I petted him a bit and got off so much Bear Hair it was comical. He is just a cat who sheds fa LOT.Made him his wet treats with his meds mixed in, not that they seem to do any good. He is still sneezing a lot and most of it is blood tinged. But he is peeing normally now and has had no recurrence of urinary blockages in over a year. He is now 3 years old. Young man in Cat terms.

 

NM, what's going on? Are you okay? Whats with the ECT stuff? Have you had ECT?  Benzo WD

can make you feel like you had ECT, but.....

The thing I truly dislike about computers is stuff like this. My long post got disappeared. And I was on such a roll. Phooey.

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I did not mentioned this but I am only smoking one cigarette a day now and have been for almost 2 months. This is HUGE for me. I am using my Ecig, and have grown used to it. I am very proud of myself for doing this. Its an enormous step forward for this lady. Yes, I miss smoking. That one cigarette is nice but I also m starting to feel grossed out by even one of them. To get all the old ashes out of my car will take a long long time. Oh the dumb things we humans do to ourselves. We actually believe the crap we hear on TV and radio. How lame is that?

[[Be...]]

I still smoke, but only in my back room sitting in a chair.  I never smoke in the living and never in the car.  I keep a small snuffer thing in the backroom in an ashtray and only smoke a few puffs of a cig and then leave it in the snuffer thing and then relight it again when I want to smoke a few puffs more.  I do smoke about five cigs a day and usually no more than not.  Some days not even that many.  I never was a heavy smoker and never smoked a pack a day or more.

[Guest [NM...]]

Holy Moly. I wrote a nice long piece on how to deal with withdrawal symptoms and for some reason, it did not post. Phooey on this crap.

NM, you have lost me. ECT??? HUH? I know it means electric shock therapy but who do you mention this? I know I am tired and maybe not thinking straight.

I cannot believe my post somehow got lost. I was on a roll and found some good words to explain why we feel so odd and awful. Oh well. It is lost in cyberspace now.

 

Bear is sleeping on the other chair. I got home at 3 pm, tired and a bit crabby. A five hour day cleaning is a lot for this LOL. Bear met me inside the door, and led me to the kitchen. I petted him a bit and got off so much Bear Hair it was comical. He is just a cat who sheds fa LOT.Made him his wet treats with his meds mixed in, not that they seem to do any good. He is still sneezing a lot and most of it is blood tinged. But he is peeing normally now and has had no recurrence of urinary blockages in over a year. He is now 3 years old. Young man in Cat terms.

 

NM, what's going on? Are you okay? Whats with the ECT stuff? Have you had ECT?  Benzo WD

can make you feel like you had ECT, but.....

The thing I truly dislike about computers is stuff like this. My long post got disappeared. And I was on such a roll. Phooey.

 

Im fine!!! No I didn’t have ECT. You mentioned that someone in withdrawal had it??!

[Guest [NM...]]

I did not mentioned this but I am only smoking one cigarette a day now and have been for almost 2 months. This is HUGE for me. I am using my Ecig, and have grown used to it. I am very proud of myself for doing this. Its an enormous step forward for this lady. Yes, I miss smoking. That one cigarette is nice but I also m starting to feel grossed out by even one of them. To get all the old ashes out of my car will take a long long time. Oh the dumb things we humans do to ourselves. We actually believe the crap we hear on TV and radio. How lame is that?

 

Yay!!!! Sooo proud of you. I thought about smoking yesterday but think is all I did!! Boy was it tempting! I call it a win when I make the decision not to light back up.

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Benzo withdrawal was harder to do but nicotine is actually MUCH harder to get off of. You don't have all those weird and scary symptoms, but your mind just wants that damn nicotine. I am noticing some odd things now that its been two months. I can smell a lot better. This has struck me as sort of odd, because one of the cleaning products I have used for 4 years now smells bad to me. I come home from work and smell something that smells like vitamin pills. I don't know what causes this. Thank heavens, this is NOT caused by benzo WD! It has to do with not smoking.

 

ECT: several past members had this and lived to tell the tale. I still don't think it is a good or safe thing to do. But then again, I do not have a serious mental illness. Just a neurotic little old lady who has used too many drugs over the years, due what happened when I was 8 years old. I am not even very neurotic since I got off benzos. Just mildly messed up. LOL! Yoou do have to laugh at this stuff sometimes.

 

Good for you, Becksblue! I stopped smoking inside when I became a renter. But that did not stop me back then from smoking almost a pack a day. Over time I slowly reduced it to a half pack. And now, just the one every day. Nicotine is a real bear of an addiction, isn't it? More persistent than benzos. Maybe more persistent than heroin. But NOT as persistent as meth or crack. Back in 1968, I was a young stupid hippie chick, in love with living in Boston and gone from Maryland. I quickly fell for some people whop routinely used meth. Yes, I shot meth for a couple months. And got Hep B and that was the end of that stupid fling. I can easily see why some people are so addicted to meth and crack. But those drugs WILL take you down very very fast. And death is not unusual from those drugs.

[Guest [NM...]]

I smoked two packs a day. If I smoked one right now I’m pretty sure I’d be back at two packs a day!

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Yes. I quit for almost 5 years, but when those two hurricanes came back to back and destroyed my house, I went right back on cigs. I told myself I would just smoke one but damned if I didn't stop at the 7-11 store and bought a pack.

This has to be the hardest addiction to beat. I am now using a Ecig, Njoys. They work just fine and I have not had WD symptoms. My sister has been doing this for over a year. Like me, she went on and off cigs for quite a while. Hell, we are getting OLD and it is time to say no to cigarettes.

[Guest [NM...]]

Yes. I quit for almost 5 years, but when those two hurricanes came back to back and destroyed my house, I went right back on cigs. I told myself I would just smoke one but damned if I didn't stop at the 7-11 store and bought a pack.

This has to be the hardest addiction to beat. I am now using a Ecig, Njoys. They work just fine and I have not had WD symptoms. My sister has been doing this for over a year. Like me, she went on and off cigs for quite a while. Hell, we are getting OLD and it is time to say no to cigarettes.

 

Yep!!!!

[[Be...]]

I do RYO.  I have a more natural tobacco which contains less nicotine and other additives, plus it's alot cheaper than buying the packs at the store.  I only pay about $10 a carton now and that lasts me at least a week or more. 

[Guest [NM...]]

Cigarettes were also a huge thing I used to deal with anger , anxiety, sadness, boredom, every emotion you can name. I had to quit so I would deal with my feelings instead of trying to escape. Just like Klonopin. 😳🙄

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Becks, what is RYO??? Havent heard of it.

I am bumping this up for someone. Someone hurting very much.

[Guest [NM...]]

Becks, what is RYO??? Havent heard of it.

I am bumping this up for someone. Someone hurting very much.

 

That’s Roll Your Own. I saw tons of people roll their own in England. Everything is sooooo expensive there!

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Oh! Thank you. Tobacco products are expensive here too, and that is yet another reason I quit. My one ciggie a day is fine but I also want to ditch that too. I will know when it is time.

I cleaned two bathrooms today. The woman works full time and literally does NOT clean her two bathrooms.....ever. Only when she calls me do they get cleaned. OMG. If I gave you a description of what I always find (I have cleaned her bathrooms 4 times in three years-) you might want to throw up. I honestly do not know how some people can LIVE like that! The dust and millions of hairs was, well, revolting, as usual. And I LIKE the lady. In her 40s, a teacher, with a hubby who works from home and a teenage son and a small barky dog. She is intelligent and educated, but she lives with filthy bathrooms. The nasty stuff my Dollar Store sponges grab is truly amazing and truly horrendous. When I leave there I want to wash MY shoes, for heavens sake. LOL!!!!!!

 

My charming (NOT!) landlady sent me an email saying my rent is going up again, to $675 plus I will also owe her another $50 to cover the deposits I made 6 years ago. I checked with a lawyer and was told this is legal but highly unethical. DUH! I plan to start looking for a new apartment, perhaps an age/income restricted one. My land lady is NOT a nice woman at all. Downright mean and she seems to enjoy sticking it to people who try to live nicely on a limited income. Over the years here I improved the appearance of her property by creating a beautiful garden out front. But she always raises my rent and NOT anyone elses. Or at least, so I think so. I think it is time for me to look somewhere else to live.

 

The Florida Board of Nursing did it to me again. Changed their freaking rules. In the past, CEUs were automatically reported to them by the providing company. Apparently, not now. I got a letter saying I had to report all the CEUS. I had to track down the two providers, but when I tried to enter the info, the site kept knocking them off. Oh so frustrating. Today I came very close to just giving up on this. Time will tell., The woman who has helped me with this is on vacation and wont be back til April 10th. I left her a message and hope I hear from her. Freaking Florida, backasswards in just about everything.

[[Be...]]

I get a about a pound of loose tobacco and a carton of 200 tubes or rollers and then roll my own.  Both together cost about $15.  Much cheaper than buying cartons. 

[[de...]]

I used to work as a tenants advocate EC and often saw landlords raise the rent after tenant had improved the property.  She's probably a slumlord too. 

 

Landlords fail to see the benefit in having a long term tenant who improves the property, is spotlessly clean, and always pays the rent on time.  If you do find another premises hope she gets a tenant who never cleans the bathroom. 

 

Inspiring story, East. 

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RYO...I now get it. I am glad I have almost quit smoking. One a day is pretty good for someone who has smoked for what? 52 years? Holy crud.

 

My landlady isn't slumlord. She is just mean. She picks on people, a new one perhaps every month. I was "It" for about 6 months then she moved on to someone else. She has had so much botox her face cannot show emotions. Whatever. I plan to start looking for another apartment, but how I will pay for that, I don't yet know.

 

Yes. My story IS inspiring. I went through a horrific withdrawal and got through it. I am still amazed I did get through it. Incredibly awful, almost beyond words. Thirty years of benzos and then ADs on top of that for 12 years.....omg. I am considering buying a book by a guy who researched the huge increase in mental health problems in the USA. He found evidence that the drug companies knew perfectly well that ADs do not work and actually CAUSE damage to the brain. Just like benzos but in a different sort of way. I read about his book on the BIC site (Benzodiazepine Information Coalition). " "Anatomy of an Epidemic" is its name. That's is a nifty site and worth checking out.  I took Ads but never really felt they were helping, but back then I still believed ibn medications. No I don't. This is the biggest lesson BWD taught me. There is NO drug that will fix whats wrong with you. Drugs that affect the brain will just end up hurting you. When I don't feel good now, the last thing I want to do is take some damn pill. Yes. I take meds for hypertension, as I have done the research and don't worry about them.

Long tiring day.

Annie and JBear