6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

Drew! ..  wonderful for you! ....You are doing so well. Life calls those " no s/x ..no worries " "effortless mind" days and they are absolute days from heaven...happy for you.....coop

[[dr...]]

Yeah coop....I was watching the parade in the rain and I was actually "watching" the parade.  No endless scanning of symptoms.  I even asked my coworker to stay about a 1/2 hour longer.  When does that ever happen?

[[Co...]]

Thanks to all of you who so honestly and openly shared your battles with health fears. It really helped me so much and I know it helped all of us. Health fear and intrusive thoughts of death and dying have been my most persistent and intense s/x since acute. Oddly I only had one really bad wave of health fear in acute ( lasting about 2 miserable weeks and then on and off month4)....Now they have been intense again in months 7-11. ..I did not suffer from this before benzos so I am trying to believe they will be a non-livable issue after healing, but that means probably another year of them until they are actually gone. ....After reading the posts from this morning I am realizing ( again). that health fears are actually s/x in their own right..  we really don't have a lot of control over thembeyonx distraction. and enduring them. ....so endure them I will. .Wishing everyone Happy Halloween..  and a weekend if healing....coop...

 

[[Co...]]

Drew...you will have more days like your no s/x no worry day. You were certainly due one...coop

 

[[...]]

Coop, you sure are doing great! This is definitely not for the weak!

 

Drew, so great that you went to the parade and had a "normal" experience! How awesome! You will get more and more of those!

 

Sky, you did great with the nose bleed! I'm glad Mr was there to help!

 

Mrs, I loved your story, I actually used it today to explain to my son! Thank you!

 

For everyone, I hope you have a relaxed weekend that has no symptoms!

 

Off for fishing this morning!

 

[[Sk...]]

GMIT, don't come back with too many fish tales ! 

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Saturday, Nov. 1

 

Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.

 

Thich Nhat Hanh

 

[[Sk...]]

Now, I also have a headache, maybe it is connected to the nosebleed of yesterday ? It must be the first real headache I have had in a year. My vibrations and palps are quite bad, maybe it is a reaction to yesterday ? After, I felt so tired but strangely detached, it was weird.

 

I have a dinner with friends, I hope it will take my mind off, do you think it might be too much for me ?

 

 

[[pe...]]

Sky-

It's hard to know if the dinner will be too much, or not. I tend to find my time with friends to be very distracting and fulfilling. Remember when Coop when to her son's birthday, but had to leave because it was too  much? Is this an event you could try and then leave if it felt like too much?

 

I'm hoping your headache clears and you're able to enjoy your friends!

 

Peace2

[[Sk...]]

Peace, you are right, if all goes wrong, knock on wood ! I will leave.

 

I haven't been this bad in a long time, so that is affecting my judgement !!

[[je...]]

Feel better sky!

[[Co...]]

Sky.  How is your headache?    I hope you care feeling better and a little less shaken. Everyone deals with scares differently. For me, I tend to give myself a few days of down time to rest and pamper myself after a scary event. The times that I have just pushed through something that rattled me it kept my wave going...but that is just one person's take on it. ...If I am just having my usual tried and true s/x I can push through and be ok. ...If you go and its not working out a headache is always the perfect undeniable ' out '.. 

......wishing you peace and some sunbreaks.....coop

[[dr...]]

Hang in there sky. 

[[No...]]

Good Evening ... mostly quite day for me today ... windy, cold and wet outside ... did a farmer's market trip this morning and did not get any big revs as I sometimes do ... even had a two hour nap ... a lazy Saturday for me ...

 

Hoping everyone is having a quiet weekend benzo wise ...

 

Good Healing ...

 

[[No...]]

Sky ... when I am in the thick of it this for out, I always feel this is worse than it has ever been ... and nowadays when the revving passes I realize that for me it was not as bad as it has ever been ... we are getting better ...

 

And you are so right, this stuff still affects our judgement when things are really tough ...

 

Hope you have a good evening ...

[[pe...]]

Just checking in to say I'm spending more time in the land of distractible discomfort. I have intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety, head pressure and fatigue, but I'm doing stuff and enjoying bits and pieces of of it. I went bowling today to celebrate a little niece's birthday. My husband was ticking off on his fingers the things that were different from last year - I went, I was talking with people and making jokes, I was making silly poses while bowling (much to the chagrin of my highly competitive family),  I ate a brownie and ice cream. It was ok. And that's pretty major. I also went to friends' house last night for dinner and trick-or-treating. I hope that next year I'll get to do these things with an 'effortless' mind. But this year I got to do them and I'm happy with that.

 

 

Peace2

 

And tonight my husband took all the leftover klonopin (three full bottles) back to the pharmacy. I wanted it out of the house, outta' here! It never belonged here and I'm so glad it's gone.

[[No...]]

Peace ... this is good news ... some many of us are looking forward to the next year ...

 

And you sent the K out of your house ... for me that was a very significant step ... I have found it very helpful not to have it available ... it feels as though it has strengthened my trust in myself ...

 

Be well ...

[[je...]]

Yay Peace! These are big steps you should be proud of. I was doing the checklist thing yesterday too. Last year on Halloween I had a lot of dp/dr and anxiety and this year those things are all gone. Congrats on dumping those bottles too, I have about 12 pills of my Valium left and for some reason I'm scared to dump them yet I know I will never use them. So happy you got to be there for a day with your family 

[[dr...]]

So happy for you peace!  Looking a year back always helps.  So cool on the meds. 

[[Co...]]

Peace, I had , I had you pegged from the very beginning...MIGHTY GIRL.....I am beyond happy for you. You have been feirce fiezty and fearless...fearless in the Nike way..." just do it "...just do it even though you are scared...just do it even though you feel that you are dying on the spot...just do it even though at outside time you are going to find a corner to cry in...You did it all Peace...with and in spite of depression, fear, panic, d/r d/p, intrusive thoughts, and all the rest of the band playing. I just see a success story coming down this winding road and it will be one of the best. You are on your way to that " effortless mind "...my bet is...much sooner than next Halloween. ...love love to you Peace.....coop

[[...]]

Peace, I'm SO happy to hear this! What a strong persons ou are! (We all are!)

 

I was talking to my husband and we discussed the improvements as well! Musta been something about the day!

 

[[No...]]

GMIT ... good morning ... how was your Saturday? ...

 

Friday and Saturday were pretty quiet for me ... and broken sleep last night ... had some revving through the night, but did not stay too long ...

 

They are saying we might get a snow flurry or two after our storm to today ... lots more wind and rain and stuff ...

 

Hope you got some fishing in ...

[[...]]

Saturday was very nice! Caught big fish! I'm feeling a tad better, having to thing a lot of positive thoughts to get through the negative feelings! I really think it was the drugs from the endoscopy even though they didn't use benzos!

 

Some snow huh? Are you ready for that? You can make your delicious soup!

 

You sound good!

 

 

[[No...]]

GMIT ... I suspect I am going to have issues with any drugs for a while ... many speak of it taking a while to not get revved up by any drug ...

 

Had sourdough pancakes and bacon and maple syrup this morning ...

 

Snow is inevitable ... as long it is not icy I don't really mind ... I am not as good as Friday and Saturday but no where near over the moon ...

 

A big fish, eh? ... sounds invigorating ...

 

Have a good day ...

[[Sk...]]

Hello everybody !

 

Peace, so great to hear you were able to pull through and have a great time.

 

Mr Sky too is on wd  memory lane  in this period!

GMIT, great that you caught a big fish.

 

Yesterday, I took my headache  and veeeery strong palps and vibrations and went to the dinner.  My symptoms were terrifying my so I did well in going, I would have suffered anyway at home. Thanks for the advice everybody !

 

I avoided dessert, I started campaigning early to leave, ended up overstaying anyway but had a great time.

 

IBS, made me leave the table continuously. but there is something off. I am always shivering, I feel so cold. I am not a cold sensitive person usually. And now it is not cold. Last  night, I was cold and everybody else was in short sleeves !!

 

So, there is something off. My headache took a hint and left me alone, and I joked and chatted better than my usual wd self.

 

I still feel awkward and have a hard time following what people say but my hosts know I have a brain injury and are very understanding and that helps enormously.

 

Mr SKy worries about my always feeling so cold. Does anybody know about feeling cold in wd ?

 

Today, I am feeling better but I am very scared. It's normal, after a bad day we are shocked the storm will start again any moment.

 

Now, I have two lessons. YEs, I work on Sundays. The last year has been one long Sunday so I do not feel odd about working on Sundays, I need the money and working is really helping me. It helps me have small objectives within the day and takes  my mind off the big picture.

 

Have a nice, nicer, day .