6-12 month thread....

[[...]]

Yes, that pretty normal I think! Higher due to nervousness about the appointment!

 

You are great!!

 

[[wh...]]

Thanks Sky...sorry you are having a rough one but still you sound better....does that make sense?

I'm going to try Polysporin for Eczema ....it's new. I'll let you know if it helps.  Nothing else has yet.  Feel better; glad you have Mr Sky...he sounds like a good man.    We are lucky to have good; understanding partners. 

Drew:  White Coat Syndrome raises your blood pressure and most doctors take that in to account when you visit them......

GMIT; Peace; LovingMother; Coop; Nova.......et al................have a good day. 

[[...]]

Whoot, I hope you're feeling good!

 

[[mr...]]

Hey gang. Mrs here. Just checking in. Could use a little voice of reassurance, to be honest.

 

I am doing so much better than a couple months ago. So very much better. I find myself feeling mixed emotions about where I'm at. I'm doing good, and making improvements. But I still have progress to make. Does that make sense? I'm a lot less fearful and anxious than a couple months ago -- but I still find myself with feelings of fear, anxiety, etc sometimes. Still more sensitive to "stimulus" than I was pre-benzos.  Still sometimes dealing with temptation to be discouraged/down/fearful etc. Does that make sense? Its much less than before, but still more than I care to have. Has anyone been in this place? Or is currently in this place? I know we will heal,and I know that this healing is already happening TONS right now. I suppose I just miss being able to GO and DO without a care or concern, you know? Pre-benzos, I had zero anxiety, and only normal fears & life concerns. I find my emotions somewhat flat or downer/fearful, and I miss the natural optimism that is the real "me"! It used to flow in just about any situation. And I KNOW that it will return; I just miss it! Feeling "joy" as the "default" emotion throughout the day -- you know? To react to life normally! I miss it. I know its coming; all coming back -- I just miss it is all.

 

My apologies for a bit of a mute post, gang. Part of me feels like I should only be grateful for the progress I've made, since there are so many others still suffering much worse than I. And I AM grateful -- so very grateful! I am just looking forward to more progress, and 100% recovery. Just like we all are.

 

I hope you all are making progress and feeling well. And my heart goes to you if you are suffering currently -- we are all making progress, and we will heal 100% someday soon. I think Coop is right -- I think this next year is truly the "Year of Re-Entry" for all of us. Praise God!

 

Ok, thanks buddies for listening to me share. Enjoy your Monday, and thanks for having me here.

 

Mrs.

[[wh...]]

Hi Mrs

Sorry you are feeling a bit of the "Grimm".  I know exactly what you mean...I think we all do.  I was always a very happy upbeat person before all this......I just want my old self back as well.  I feel it at times and I'm so happy at those times because I know I am still there just hidden behind this benzo fear; pain and fatigue. 

I can't really tell from you signature how far out you are now.  and what is PRN? 

you can take heart in knowing that it is a sx.....this fear/dread anxiety....I've been here asking everyone many times....is this part of it?  will it end?  and the answer has always been...yes and yes.....

Love to you.  You are always so kind and helpful.  God bless

[[Gr...]]

Hi, everyone.

 

I'm going to write this post before I try to catch up, cuz the way I've been feeling I might run out of steam before I finish.

 

I've been off the thread a couple of days.  Withdrawal days are dog years.  The cycling is so crazy, the mood changes with symptoms, hell, who I am changes with the symptoms.  I keep having to adapt, adjust, to whatever crazy symptoms I'm going through, mental, physical, and I'm exhausted.  Then last night I felt the fear and burst into tears, actually it's been trying to break through for a little while.  And then today I got the mother of all panic attacks, my mind felt like it was on the edge of darkness, horrific primal fear, like the last time I had that was acute, like I was going to slip into the abyss of darkness, madness, insanity or non existence, I don't know, because I don't have much experience with panic attacks.  At least that's what I think it was.  Then I couldn't breathe, then I was hysterical, sobbing, trying to breathe, and then it stopped.  Then I just cried like a baby for a while.  Then I felt better.  And I feel a little better now  Except I have head pressure, I've been having it all along, I was just calling I cog fog, it's head pressure that reaches down the forehead, into the sinuses, into the gums?  is that head pressure?

 

So I'm really grateful to Healinghope for writing down her symptoms in detail, because when that hit me, I was terrified, but I remembered a post by her about panic, and that's how I knew what it was, and it was very, very helpful as I was going through that, to know someone had it, it's terrifying, but it passes.

 

I always think it's better not to be too graphic, so I don't scare pple behind me.  And sometimes that's a better way to go.  Other times it's nice to know somebody went through something.  When I get really scared, my mind goes to the person who posted about it, who went through it.  Like fear of adrenal fatigue, or whatever the hell the exhaustion is, Jenny is dealing with that, and as I come up on the first year and getting all these wavy symptoms, I'm rattled, I'm scared.  Or maybe it's just excess glutamate, in fact I'm sure it is.

 

Thanks for listening, thanks so much for being here.  Now I need to read the thread, catch up a little bit.

 

 

[[...]]

Hey gang. Mrs here. Just checking in. Could use a little voice of reassurance, to be honest.

 

I am doing so much better than a couple months ago. So very much better. I find myself feeling mixed emotions about where I'm at. I'm doing good, and making improvements. But I still have progress to make. Does that make sense? I'm a lot less fearful and anxious than a couple months ago -- but I still find myself with feelings of fear, anxiety, etc sometimes. Still more sensitive to "stimulus" than I was pre-benzos.  Still sometimes dealing with temptation to be discouraged/down/fearful etc. Does that make sense? Its much less than before, but still more than I care to have. Has anyone been in this place? Or is currently in this place? I know we will heal,and I know that this healing is already happening TONS right now. I suppose I just miss being able to GO and DO without a care or concern, you know? Pre-benzos, I had zero anxiety, and only normal fears & life concerns. I find my emotions somewhat flat or downer/fearful, and I miss the natural optimism that is the real "me"! It used to flow in just about any situation. And I KNOW that it will return; I just miss it! Feeling "joy" as the "default" emotion throughout the day -- you know? To react to life normally! I miss it. I know its coming; all coming back -- I just miss it is all.

 

My apologies for a bit of a mute post, gang. Part of me feels like I should only be grateful for the progress I've made, since there are so many others still suffering much worse than I. And I AM grateful -- so very grateful! I am just looking forward to more progress, and 100% recovery. Just like we all are.

 

I hope you all are making progress and feeling well. And my heart goes to you if you are suffering currently -- we are all making progress, and we will heal 100% someday soon. I think Coop is right -- I think this next year is truly the "Year of Re-Entry" for all of us. Praise God!

 

Ok, thanks buddies for listening to me share. Enjoy your Monday, and thanks for having me here.

 

Mrs.

 

 

Oh Mrs., I definitely understand! You explained what I've been going through for a couple of weeks now! It's slowly getting better! I know you already know the answers, as we all do, but sometimes the reassurance is nice!

 

You are doing SO awesome! Healing so well! The doldrums, blues, negativity, however you want to describe it, is a normal part of wd and does get better!

 

You are doing great!

 

[[...]]

Green, you should express how you're feeling, that's why we are all here! I to, do not want to scare those behind me, but there are times we just need support!!

 

We are here for each other! Let it spew! 

 

[[Ca...]]

Mrs dear...hello old friend! Sending you love and reassurance. This is NORMAL for where you are in the healing process. The fear, doubt and missing the old you are the result of the drugs...you are vibrant and whole behind all of these ugly symptoms.

 

Of course you are grateful for the healing you've done....who wouldn't miss feeling well?! This is a difficult journey none of us asked for...we are weary. Hold yourself a little tighter today. Sending you love...you are Okay. This will pass lovely friend.

 

Carita

 

 

[[dr...]]

Mrs...You are always there to pick me up and now I am here to return the love.  You know this can wear us down.  You would not be human if this process didn't frustrate you.  It is soooooo loooooong that we all should win the "patient people" medals.  Not only that...it is very cruel that the healing is non linear.  Anything to amke this harder is added in the mix.  Let yourself feel this way and don't apologize.  Soon enough you'll be back to your mid benzo recovery self and then after that your old self  

[[Sk...]]

Drew, glad you saw the doc and you were so honest with him . You did the right thing.

 

Mrs, sorry to hear you this way but you are here, you can vent,we are here for this. THe deal is not to only be a cheerleader to others, we take turns in this, and that is great, somehow we manage to help each other in such bad times.

Hang in there, don't overthink though.

 

Green, so sorry for feeling so bad. A hug.

 

Good night everybody, it has been a hard day, my symptoms are really bad. Tomorrow, I have 5 hours of lessons, I have no idea how I am going to pull through in this state. I am  vibrating like crazy, and have crazy palps. It is the first time I have so much work in one day, I guess I will take it one  step at a time and hope for the best.

 

I really need the extra lesson, just not all at  once !

 

So again, good night to all, heal away.

[[mr...]]

Hi, everyone.

 

I'm going to write this post before I try to catch up, cuz the way I've been feeling I might run out of steam before I finish.

 

I've been off the thread a couple of days.  Withdrawal days are dog years.  The cycling is so crazy, the mood changes with symptoms, hell, who I am changes with the symptoms.  I keep having to adapt, adjust, to whatever crazy symptoms I'm going through, mental, physical, and I'm exhausted.  Then last night I felt the fear and burst into tears, actually it's been trying to break through for a little while.  And then today I got the mother of all panic attacks, my mind felt like it was on the edge of darkness, horrific primal fear, like the last time I had that was acute, like I was going to slip into the abyss of darkness, madness, insanity or non existence, I don't know, because I don't have much experience with panic attacks.  At least that's what I think it was.  Then I couldn't breathe, then I was hysterical, sobbing, trying to breathe, and then it stopped.  Then I just cried like a baby for a while.  Then I felt better.  And I feel a little better now  Except I have head pressure, I've been having it all along, I was just calling I cog fog, it's head pressure that reaches down the forehead, into the sinuses, into the gums?  is that head pressure?

 

So I'm really grateful to Healinghope for writing down her symptoms in detail, because when that hit me, I was terrified, but I remembered a post by her about panic, and that's how I knew what it was, and it was very, very helpful as I was going through that, to know someone had it, it's terrifying, but it passes.

 

I always think it's better not to be too graphic, so I don't scare pple behind me.  And sometimes that's a better way to go.  Other times it's nice to know somebody went through something.  When I get really scared, my mind goes to the person who posted about it, who went through it.  Like fear of adrenal fatigue, or whatever the hell the exhaustion is, Jenny is dealing with that, and as I come up on the first year and getting all these wavy symptoms, I'm rattled, I'm scared.  Or maybe it's just excess glutamate, in fact I'm sure it is.

 

Thanks for listening, thanks so much for being here.  Now I need to read the thread, catch up a little bit.

 

Green,

 

I'm so proud of you for facing and allowing it to happen, and to just let it go past you. Panic is nothing to fear, despite how icky it feels (and I need to hear that probably more than most). Good for you, for posting about it. I find myself so often feeling hesitant to post about this or that, for whatever reason...but I then sometimes feel lonely in how I feel. So, I'm glad that you posted! And I hope you feel better soon. Take care missie

 

Mrs.

 

PS: I meant to ask, have you ever heard of or listened to Dr. Claire Weekes? She's got some great audios and books on panic and anxiety. Her voice is British and soothing, and her cultural language differences make me giggle and soften the communication of the subject for me (i.e. we call it 'panic'; she calls it a 'turn', etc). Anyways, if you want to listen to something by her, I have a link to one of her audio sets that I found streamable from online...I can send it to you, if you'd like? It helped me through some challenging times of anxiety & panic Anyways, either way -- feel better sweets Oh, so ready to close the chapter of 2014 and begin a new year filled with hope, joy, and 100% recovery and healing! You & me both Take care

[[mr...]]

Mrs...You are always there to pick me up and now I am here to return the love.  You know this can wear us down.  You would not be human if this process didn't frustrate you.  It is soooooo loooooong that we all should win the "patient people" medals.  Not only that...it is very cruel that the healing is non linear.  Anything to amke this harder is added in the mix.  Let yourself feel this way and don't apologize.  Soon enough you'll be back to your mid benzo recovery self and then after that your old self

 

[[mr...]]

Drew, glad you saw the doc and you were so honest with him . You did the right thing.

 

Mrs, sorry to hear you this way but you are here, you can vent,we are here for this. THe deal is not to only be a cheerleader to others, we take turns in this, and that is great, somehow we manage to help each other in such bad times.

Hang in there, don't overthink though.

 

Green, so sorry for feeling so bad. A hug.

 

Good night everybody, it has been a hard day, my symptoms are really bad. Tomorrow, I have 5 hours of lessons, I have no idea how I am going to pull through in this state. I am  vibrating like crazy, and have crazy palps. It is the first time I have so much work in one day, I guess I will take it one  step at a time and hope for the best.

 

I really need the extra lesson, just not all at  once !

 

So again, good night to all, heal away.

 

Sky, I use propranolol occasionally, and it helps with the "tremors" and heart symptoms. Def not trying to recommend a med or anything, of course. I hope you feel better soon

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

Well gang, its a quiet one tonight, and I find myself aching a little bit for you guys here. I am hopeful that it is because of wide open windows for everyone

 

Me & Mr are going to watch s'more Gilmore Girls -- my new fav TV series distraction!! Used to be Friends, until I wore out 2 or 3 of the discs... (Wish that was a joke, but unfortunately it is true!!) Anyways, enjoy the evening. I miss you all.

 

Mrs.

[[re...]]

Hi all first time on this thread...Have been on others,and so glad for this forum,so as to not go completely bonkers with all the diff sxs.

                        Well after the 24/7 flu sxs left and the ankles and feet pain ,when walking anytime,also left,got banged by two tachycardia episodes in same day last Monday and after that ,the heart palps and chest discomfort started.  Next week November 10 is the 8th month after jump.

  Just when I was feeling good enough to start some exercising again the heart thing kicks in.

        FYI  If anyone gets this sxs there is a Heart Palps support group thread,with a lot of info to help you cope.  But it's still a bumma when the heart and adrenalin in gut start acting up.

      Yea this thing sure ain't linear,just when you think your turning the corner,you get a sucker punch

outa no where.  But so glad I have the Good Lord for number One support.The Faith Support Group,has some great prayer warriors,to help also,if you are so inclined.

            Wishing all bearable sxs and a swift recovery

Shalom,

      aj aka renacido

                          <><

 

[[Gr...]]

Just checking in to say I'm spending more time in the land of distractible discomfort. I have intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety, head pressure and fatigue, but I'm doing stuff and enjoying bits and pieces of of it. I went bowling today to celebrate a little niece's birthday. My husband was ticking off on his fingers the things that were different from last year - I went, I was talking with people and making jokes, I was making silly poses while bowling (much to the chagrin of my highly competitive family),  I ate a brownie and ice cream. It was ok. And that's pretty major. I also went to friends' house last night for dinner and trick-or-treating. I hope that next year I'll get to do these things with an 'effortless' mind. But this year I got to do them and I'm happy with that.

 

 

Peace2

 

And tonight my husband took all the leftover klonopin (three full bottles) back to the pharmacy. I wanted it out of the house, outta' here! It never belonged here and I'm so glad it's gone.

 

YAY!!!

[[Gr...]]

Hello everybody !

 

Peace, so great to hear you were able to pull through and have a great time.

 

Mr Sky too is on wd  memory lane  in this period!

GMIT, great that you caught a big fish.

 

Yesterday, I took my headache  and veeeery strong palps and vibrations and went to the dinner.  My symptoms were terrifying my so I did well in going, I would have suffered anyway at home. Thanks for the advice everybody !

 

I avoided dessert, I started campaigning early to leave, ended up overstaying anyway but had a great time.

 

IBS, made me leave the table continuously. but there is something off. I am always shivering, I feel so cold. I am not a cold sensitive person usually. And now it is not cold. Last  night, I was cold and everybody else was in short sleeves !!

 

So, there is something off. My headache took a hint and left me alone, and I joked and chatted better than my usual wd self.

 

I still feel awkward and have a hard time following what people say but my hosts know I have a brain injury and are very understanding and that helps enormously.

 

Mr SKy worries about my always feeling so cold. Does anybody know about feeling cold in wd ?

 

Today, I am feeling better but I am very scared. It's normal, after a bad day we are shocked the storm will start again any moment.

 

Now, I have two lessons. YEs, I work on Sundays. The last year has been one long Sunday so I do not feel odd about working on Sundays, I need the money and working is really helping me. It helps me have small objectives within the day and takes  my mind off the big picture.

 

Have a nice, nicer, day . 

 

Sky, huge, wonderful, brilliant, as the Brits say.  You sound great.  And, yes, I get cold, very cold, and then very hot as the panic/hot flash surge comes, and then cold again.

[[Gr...]]

Green, you should express how you're feeling, that's why we are all here! I to, do not want to scare those behind me, but there are times we just need support!!

 

We are here for each other! Let it spew! 

 

 

I spewed!  Thank you so much.

[[Sk...]]

Please buddies, do stay off the protracted boards, no good ever comes from it.

 

Today, my day is calm, the palps and vibrations are under check and that is great because I have many lessons . But I also deserve a break, however small !

 

Talk later, if I can  manage it. 

[[...]]

Hi Renacido! Hope you are doing well!

 

Hoping everyone is finding relief today!

 

 

 

[[pe...]]

Hi Buddies,

Just checking in and wanting to let you know I'm thinking of you. I've got a long distance hug going out to Green today. And Mrs. you're on my mind too.

 

Take good care today.

 

Off to work,

Peace2

[[...]]

I hope you're well today Peace!

 

[[be...]]

Hi all,

I'm heading out to vote....please say a prayer that my benzo damaged brain holds up.

 

Hugs to all.

[[...]]

Prayers are with you Beulah!