Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax

[[ba...]]

wow 3 years off xanax. wow what an accomplishment! , today was 7 months without xanax for me i think im at 80% healed i feel my worst in the eevnings if i go to the gym i feel great all evening i just cant make it to the gym each day

[[Mo...]]

Congratulation Megan.......well done !

[[lo...]]

Hii megan..

tks for your post and also for your guidance ...

that was really an wonderful post ...

i was quiet disappointed  as i am still facing the withdrawals after 13 months benzo free and as per ashton Manual things would get cleared after 6 to 12 months benchmark....

i didnt faced much w/d in first 6 months after taper but facing  strange anxiety and unsomniac w/d after 11th and 12 months mark so now after joining these forum things are getting vivid....

and now i know that no med wud care rathet than worsening the symptoms and  even the biggest DOC can only give a Pooh Pooh.....

Only time is the heal.....

one thing i wanna know that how much do an sweet diet worsen the symptoms..

i am not diabetic but wanna know how the w/d are affected by sugar or sweet in our diet...

 

 

[[me...]]

i am not diabetic but wanna know how the w/d are affected by sugar or sweet in our diet...

 

Hi loveurlife,

 

When I was in acute withdrawal, sugary foods usually made my symptoms worse.  But as time passed, I was able to eat normally again.

 

[[Ul...]]

So, I'm new to this site.  I have to ask: Did you have professional guidance during your taper and, if so, who helped you...psychiatrist, etc.?

 

Thank you!

 

Hi, and welcome.  No, I tapered on my own.  You'll find that many, if not most of our members manage their own tapers.  One reason for this is that most doctors don't seem to recognize the value of a slow taper, and will either put their patients on very rapid tapers or in some cases, even cold turkey them.

 

O.K., if you tapered on your own, then how did you get someone to give you Valium scripts that decreased over time? If I remember correctly, you transferred from Xanax to Valium then tapered down. Again, how did you go about that?

 

Thank you!

[[me...]]

So, I'm new to this site.  I have to ask: Did you have professional guidance during your taper and, if so, who helped you...psychiatrist, etc.?

 

Thank you!

 

Hi, and welcome.  No, I tapered on my own.  You'll find that many, if not most of our members manage their own tapers.  One reason for this is that most doctors don't seem to recognize the value of a slow taper, and will either put their patients on very rapid tapers or in some cases, even cold turkey them.

 

O.K., if you tapered on your own, then how did you get someone to give you Valium scripts that decreased over time? If I remember correctly, you transferred from Xanax to Valium then tapered down. Again, how did you go about that?

 

Thank you!

 

I was using pills I had left over from previous prescriptions as well as some I'd inherited from my late husband.  By the time I started my taper, my doctor would no longer prescribe benzos to me.

[[ra...]]

Three-year anniversary! That is awesome, Megan. What a relief to hear that a birthday celebration and events of life kept you almost too busy to notice. I am so sick of having my life consumed by thoughts of these drugs, and I was grateful today for a few periods of several minutes where friends kept my mind occupied with other things. Your story gives me hope that I can look forward to more improvement down the line! Thank you!

[[va...]]

I'm now two years off Xanax and doing better than I have for many years!  Though Xanax did wonders for my panic and anxiety, I didn't realize until recently how much it had taken away from my life.  Once a successful painter, I lost all desire to paint while on xanax.  My senses were muted to the point that I missed much of the beauty in life.  I was apathetic and inactive.  I gained a lot of weight.  I had memory and cognitive problems which worried me a great deal, and I began to think that these might be permanent.

 

Once I was finally off Xanax, it took over a year for most of my symptoms to subside.  Only one was left, but it was the most frightening of all as far as I was concerned - cognitive problems and brain fog.  I was 63, and deeply afraid that this would never leave me.  But, as I passed the 18 month off point a miracle began to unfold.  The mind-fog started to lift.  Things became clearer and brighter.  My creative urges slowly reawakened.  I'm experiencing a personal renaissance of sorts.  At 24 months off this miracle is continuing, and I'm starting to paint again!

 

Getting off, and staying off Xanax has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but it has been worth it.  I continued to heal well past the one year mark, and even past the two year mark.  If I can do this, you can too!

 

 

This is my "One Year Off Xanax" success story, from March 2013:

 

In the late 1990's I started to experience palpitations and tachycardia, which in turn generated panic attacks

that got worse and worse as time went on.  I soon developed an intense fear of the panic attacks

themselves, anticipatory fear, which is common in "panic disorder."  When I was prescribed xanax for the

first time in 1999, I thought it was a gift from heaven.  It worked beautifully, no more palpitations and no

more panic attacks.  I took it for many years before I developed tolerance, which I first noticed when i began

to run out of pills before the end of each month.

 

To make a long story short, I eventually realized that xanax was a double-edged sword which was sapping

my mind and my creativity.  I'd been a successful painter (animals, birds, plants), even making a living from

my art.  But while on xanax I lost all desire to paint, or do much of anything.  I made two unsuccessful

attempts to get off xanax in 2005 and 2009, reinstating at a higher dose each time.  Then finally, in early

2012, I rapidly tapered, crossed over to valium, and off on March 18, 2012.  My prescription had been cut

off, so I couldn't do a longer taper.  But the taper went smoothly, and I only had symptoms once I was off.

They were overwhelming:

 

 

Withdrawal Symptoms at 0-5 months off:

 

 

Anxiety:        Extreme anxiety in the mornings, waking at 4 am, hypervigilance, out-of-the-blue panic

 

Senses:        Altered, distorted and extremely acute hearing, smell, taste, hyperosmia

 

Eyes:            Red, painful, dry,  Visual distortions, minor hallucinations, floaters, etc.

 

Head Sys:      Congestion, pain, cog fog, head zaps, earaches, headaches, sinus problems

 

Body:            Extreme flushing, sweating, chills, pains, temp. hair loss, vertigo, insomnia, vivid dreams

 

Muscles:        Stiffness, pain, twitching, facial tics, hand tremors, restless leg syndrome

 

Nerves:          Raw, exposed, "open wound" feeling all over--absolutely excruciating!

 

Mental:          Depression, obsessive, intrusive thoughts, morbid thoughts, racing mind, agoraphobia,

                      DP/DR, and  extreme hypochondria with countless imagined health issues!

 

Starting in month 5, my symptoms began to lessen, and slowly but steadily got better.  I had windows and waves.

A non-linear rollercoaster ride, but in general I still felt worst in the morning and much better by evening each day.

 

When I started having severe mental symptoms I desperately looked for a way to regain "control."  I found it in

self-distraction, which I applied obsessively at first.  It became an ingrained habit, and I began to look forward

to my favorite distractions.  I began to relax a little, and during months 6-12  the healing really accelerated.

 

Besides distraction, I've done meditation and other spiritual practices.  All of these took my mind off my symptoms

for awhile.  In the afternoons when I started feeling better I'd relax, read, nap, or watch tv.  Nothing strenuous.

I eat what I want and drink half/caff coffee (helps the cog-fog). 

 

 

Remaining symptoms at one year off:

 

Head symptoms, though slowly improving, are still with me.  The zaps have stopped, but congestion, foggyness,

and at times, pain, remain, especially early in the day.

 

Physical symptoms:  almost all gone, with the exception of occasional restless legs, and rarely, mild vertigo.

 

Mental symptoms:  mostly gone, but  I still have occasional racing thoughts when in a "wave,"  My anxiety level

is now much lower than it was before benzos.  This is remarkable since I was prescribed xanax for anxiety!

 

When I took my last benzo a year ago I didn't really have any faith that I could do this.  I'd tried it twice before and

failed. But with the help of BenzoBuddies, I finally managed it.  At three months off I got rid of my stash of xanax,

and I never took a "rescue dose."  The hardest thing for me was learning how to live and cope with my

anxiety without xanax.  I never thought I was a particularly strong person, but now I know I am.  I've proved it!

 

If I can do this, you can too!

 

:smitten:

 

 

Dear Megan

i red and reread again and again your story and meds history...

I am exactly 5 months and 5 days off

and i think TODAY i had THE most easiest day ever since my 3rd forced reinstatement ...

my taper was really very hard , i was like literally in another parallel universe

so disconnected from reality and common sense....

i am learning each day to forgive myself that i didn't notice and realise my husband's betrayal and cheating...

and that this my blindness now is causing pain to my angel to be away from me...

i know now that it  was so so obvious...but my mind was hijacked....

as Whitney says: its not right , but its okey i will make it anyway

 

thank you so much for your story

its PRICELESS to reinstated buddies :smitten:

 

kindly

v

 

 

[[ba...]]

Hi Mrs Megan,

 

thats fantastic news that you've been off xanax for 3 years now ! wow i really hope i feel well after 3 years i just hope by then these days of feeling xanax withdrawals and the icky taste of xanax under my tongue will just be a distant memory im 9 months off im still healing. i hope you have a great weeknd Mrs Megan. 

[[We...]]

Oh Meagan,

 

thanks again for sharing with us this wonderful celebration. I am sooo sincerely happy for you. It gives the rest of us hope when we can celebrate with those who are now free. I wish you the best of luck and many more happy days!!!

 

Hugs, shannon

[[...]]

I'm reading through success stories to give me hope and came across yours . Congratulations! 😀 if your still on this site , what do you do to cope with your panic / anxiety. I was on Klonpkin for Social Anxiety.

I wish you more health and happiness 😊

[[Gr...]]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey, Meagan.  I am new to BB as a member, not even on here for a week, but not new to the site or to Xanax withdrawal.  Your story is so encouraging, and I wish you the best.  I am less than one week from 17 months off this drug.

[[12...]]

This is exactly what I needed to read right now!  I was really desperate but after reading your story, I know I can do it too! Thank you!

[[Le...]]

This is probably one of the handful uf stories that really reaches deep into my pysche. It helps so much just to have a few hours of tranquility. Thank you for the positive and uplifting story if your success over this thing.

[[me...]]

I'm glad my story has helped you all.  Thanks for posting your reactions here! 

[[Gi...]]

Megan, thank you for taking the time to post your experience!  I am so happy for you.  What you've written has given me hope that I won't always feel like this, that there's a wonderful light at the end of the tunnel.  Best wishes to you for a wonderful life.

[[ba...]]

hi max ,  nice name are you a ginger with your hair color . if so thats a beautiful color !

[[ta...]]

Hi Megan,

 

  Its me Rosie, you wrote me this morning.  Once again, I am really thankful for your reply to me...

 

  i just went and read your full story.....

 

  It is so good to hear how you got through this.....and I have another .05 klonopin twice a day to go....

 

  I hope and trust it will be better......than the first....although I have had this stuff in me since April......

 

  Stopped half way in between and didn't know what it might do to me....however, I am more positive today after a couple of things happening since last night.......someone, a friend, was really With me in a big way as I cried alot and then I came on Benzo Buddies and joined....if anyone wants to read my introduction I invite you too.

 

  I have a background as a health professional and I won't go too far into that but just to say that if anyone , maybe you Megan, or someone else who might be reading your wonderful success story might feel good about is that for anxiety and other symptoms there are something known as nervines.....skullcap and california poppy are two really really good ones that help calming in a big way...and can be gotten from a health store or food coop or on line.......

 

  anyway, won't go further into that, just to say, again, I thank you for sharing your story and for saying hi to me in my introduction......hope by my saying that I wasn't going to be on so much the forum, that it scared people away from writing me......

 

or you Megan.......I wish you a very very happy deeply joyous life....and many many blessings.

 

Tairose

[[me...]]

Thank you so much, Tairose! 

[[ba...]]

do you remember how you felt miss megan after a year or so without xanax? maybe its me sometimes i dont feel well i need to live more healthy of a lifestyle not smoke 3/4- 1 pack a day of cigaretes or drink too much caffeien

[[me...]]

do you remember how you felt miss megan after a year or so without xanax? maybe its me sometimes i dont feel well i need to live more healthy of a lifestyle not smoke 3/4- 1 pack a day of cigaretes or drink too much caffeien

 

Hi Katie,

 

I still had many symptoms at a year off, though many of my minor ones had dropped away.  It took me two years to really heal. But i was on high doses of xanax for 13 years.  I did drink coffee which helped my morning cog fog, so if you're not sensitive to caffeine, it probably won't hurt you.

 

[[ba...]]

hi megan ,  thank you so much , i feel hope that i can fully recover as you have ,

 

i hope you enjoy your thanksgiving with your family 

[[lg...]]

Your post made me feel better because I quit just before thanksgiving and I feel like I am in a total fog. I don't want to do anything.My mind if like mush I is very difficult for me to think anything. My pain in withdrawing is off the charts. I need my cognitive power to return for sure. I thought it maybe be permanent so I felt I would never be well again and I wondered what will become of my life. I stay in bed now most of the time and I am depressed. I dread waking up and I with I could sleep all the time.  Posting my problems on this forum is very helpful to me. Thanks!

[[we...]]

Megan ,you have so many tools and insight.I find you so full of courage,and the ability to be stable for us outstanding.Thanks so much for giving me hope.Your signature says it. :)

[[we...]]

Thank you for your story,you are truly inspiring ,and I bet your art work is more interesting than ever!!