Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax

[[me...]]

I just got in here.  Xanax is my monster, about 20 years.  Never tried to quit before.  Last week hardly counts.  I would LOVE any information you are willing to share.  The first information I received from my doctor was cut .5 mgs a week for 12 weeks.  I went home and quite literally had no idea the actual work I would need to do.  That was last Monday I started, stopped on Wednesday.  I am gathering information to begin a proper taper job.  I have been taking xanax for 20 years.  I have the Ashton tapering printed out but it adds valium.  If you were sitting here on 6 mgs and WANT OFF.  Would you take the valium?  I just don't know what the smartest thing to do is.  Thanks

 

Kristin

 

Hi,

 

Some people taper directly from xanax, which has a short half life, and some cross over to valium, which has a much longer half life and is more sedating (some say, depressing).  I didn't mind the sedation, but many don't tolerate it well.  I can't tell you which you should do, but here's where to post about tapering issues:

 

General Taper Plans   

 

 

[[...]]

Megan, can you point to what got better each year? I feel like I’m healing...I KNOW I am healing as much has improved, but I just feel “off” still...I just don’t feel right, not sure how to describe it. Almost like dp/dr but not as severe?

[[Sh...]]

I just got in here.  Xanax is my monster, about 20 years.  Never tried to quit before.  Last week hardly counts.  I would LOVE any information you are willing to share.  The first information I received from my doctor was cut .5 mgs a week for 12 weeks.  I went home and quite literally had no idea the actual work I would need to do.  That was last Monday I started, stopped on Wednesday.  I am gathering information to begin a proper taper job.  I have been taking xanax for 20 years.  I have the Ashton tapering printed out but it adds valium. If you were sitting here on 6 mgs and WANT OFF.  Would you take the valium? I just don't know what the smartest thing to do is.  Thanks

 

Kristin

 

Hi Kristin.  Crossing over to Valium is probably not an option for you at this point.  The valium equivalency of 6 mgm Xanax would be 120 mgm Valium and you won't find any doctor that would prescribe that large of a dose.  If you decide you need to cross over to Valium, you would need to first taper your Xanax down to a more reasonable level and then cross over.

 

XX

She

[[me...]]

Megan, can you point to what got better each year? I feel like I’m healing...I KNOW I am healing as much has improved, but I just feel “off” still...I just don’t feel right, not sure how to describe it. Almost like dp/dr but not as severe?

 

To be honest, I can speak generally about this but not specifically.  Purely physical symptoms, like hot and cold flashes, visual problems, and sensory hyper-sensitivity went first, but other issues like extreme morning anxiety and health anxiety, and moderate depression, took longer to go away.  My longest lasting symptoms were cog fog and painful dry eyes.

 

The rate of healing and what heals first are different for everyone, we are each unique in this difficult journey.

[[Sa...]]

Thanks Megan, I read your success story and this is what I need to hear. Thanks. I have a feeling this whole getting off of benzos will be challenging but I am glad to be in a forum with support. Thanks and all the best to you.

[[...]]

Megan, can you point to what got better each year? I feel like I’m healing...I KNOW I am healing as much has improved, but I just feel “off” still...I just don’t feel right, not sure how to describe it. Almost like dp/dr but not as severe?

 

To be honest, I can speak generally about this but not specifically.  Purely physical symptoms, like hot and cold flashes, visual problems, and sensory hyper-sensitivity went first, but other issues like extreme morning anxiety and health anxiety, and moderate depression, took longer to go away.  My longest lasting symptoms were cog fog and painful dry eyes.

 

The rate of healing and what heals first are different for everyone, we are each unique in this difficult journey.

 

Thanks Megan, just saw this.

[[ga...]]

Megan, Congrats on your wonderful success!!!  How did you know when you were stable enough to start to taper your AD?  I am 25 days off of my valium taper and have 48 mg of Cymbalta to taper, but I know that my CNS must be stable enough to do so.  Just wondering how one knows when that time has come?  Thanks! 

[[me...]]

Megan, Congrats on your wonderful success!!!  How did you know when you were stable enough to start to taper your AD?  I am 25 days off of my valium taper and have 48 mg of Cymbalta to taper, but I know that my CNS must be stable enough to do so.  Just wondering how one knows when that time has come?  Thanks!

 

This probably won't apply to your case, but I actually waited a year before I started tapering off citalopram, and that taper, unlike my benzo taper, was very very slow.  I waited that long because I already had such severe symptoms from my fast benzo taper, and I didn't want to risk getting seriously depressed during that time.  But, amazingly, I didn't seem to suffer any extra symptoms from tapering citalopram.  I was only doing a 5% taper every two weeks or so, so it was very gradual.

[[...]]

Dear Megan,

Thank you so much for your update. I feel so glad for you. I am 59, was on Lorazepam  for 2.5.years, all the time in interdose withdrawal because my doctor gave me wrong dose, found everything out by mself with the help of Dr Ashton's Manual.

I was given it also for anxities and Panics. 

But still had the Panics while on Lorazepam because of interose w.  I' m off now for 75 days, the anxities and Panics are still there. lose hope that they will go away, have intrusive, scary, racing thoughts with Body reactions, create more fears, vicious circle, you know all about it.

I hope I will also heal though I am that old.

Perhaps you can send me a Reply, I feel so desperate.

 

Best wishes

Buxi

[[me...]]

Dear Megan,

Thank you so much for your update. I feel so glad for you. I am 59, was on Lorazepam  for 2.5.years, all the time in interdose withdrawal because my doctor gave me wrong dose, found everything out by mself with the help of Dr Ashton's Manual.

I was given it also for anxities and Panics. 

But still had the Panics while on Lorazepam because of interose w.  I' m off now for 75 days, the anxities and Panics are still there. lose hope that they will go away, have intrusive, scary, racing thoughts with Body reactions, create more fears, vicious circle, you know all about it.

I hope I will also heal though I am that old.

Perhaps you can send me a Reply, I feel so desperate.

 

Best wishes

Buxi

 

Hi,

 

75 days is early yet, so please give it more time.  This process can take months for some of us, and longer than that for a few.  But, in time, you'll heal.  When I started having intrusive thoughts, I quickly learned to distract myself with whatever was at hand that took my mind off my symptoms, even for a little while.  Self-distraction was my main job for a long time.  It's the most valuable skill I learned during my healing.

 

 

[[...]]

Megan,

Could you elaborate on the body pain? I have had so much pain in my low back, legs and hips that seem to be my worst remaining symtpoms at 6.5 months. These were not there before benzo withdrawl, and sometimes I can feel my muscles spasming, especially gluteal and muscles near the spine. This makes my mobility painful. I am still functioning, but am in pain constantly. The mental symptoms are much better at this point, but the pain is just not budging. Can you relate to this? And if so, did it get better without medical intervention?

Thank you for all of your support.

[[me...]]

Megan,

Could you elaborate on the body pain? I have had so much pain in my low back, legs and hips that seem to be my worst remaining symtpoms at 6.5 months. These were not there before benzo withdrawl, and sometimes I can feel my muscles spasming, especially gluteal and muscles near the spine. This makes my mobility painful. I am still functioning, but am in pain constantly. The mental symptoms are much better at this point, but the pain is just not budging. Can you relate to this? And if so, did it get better without medical intervention?

Thank you for all of your support.

 

Hi,

 

Muscle pains are a very common symptom, they can be anywhere (sometimes, it seems, everywhere) in the body and this symptom can be persistent.  Have you tried ibuprofen?  That is what works for me, and even now (I'm moving and have a lot of muscle pain from the exertion of packing, etc) I take it when needed, usually a "medical" dose, of up to twice the recommended two pills at a time.  It works for me, but no other otc med does.

 

Also, hot baths, electric heating pads, and the like can be very soothing. 

[[...]]

Yes, I try ibuprofen but don’t want to over do it with otc because of potential problems from those so I try  not to take them daily.

So this symptom did let up for you? Was it constant and then became better? I am scared it’s sonethinh else. I can’t jog anymore since coming off because of pain which is so sad. I learned the hard way by trying to push through pain. Can’t do that with this kind of pain.

I am just holding hope that it gets better.

[[me...]]

Yes, I try ibuprofen but don’t want to over do it with otc because of potential problems from those so I try  not to take them daily.

So this symptom did let up for you? Was it constant and then became better? I am scared it’s sonethinh else. I can’t jog anymore since coming off because of pain which is so sad. I learned the hard way by trying to push through pain. Can’t do that with this kind of pain.

I am just holding hope that it gets better.

 

 

It came and went, and affected different parts of my body, mostly my head and neck.  But, I've always held my tension in that area, so it's never gone away completely.  At least now I don't feel I've got steel bands in my neck like before.  In general, if you didn't have a symptom before withdrawal it will eventually go away completely, but that may not be the case if it was a preexisting condition.

 

As far as it being "something else," that's very unlikely.  And it would be best to take it easy and not overtax your body during this time - that sort of thing can exacerbate symptoms.  Here's a quote from the Ashton Manual about muscle symptoms:

 

 

Muscle symptoms. Benzodiazepines are efficient muscle relaxants and are used clinically for spastic conditions ranging from spinal cord disease or injury to the excruciating muscle spasms of tetanus or rabies. It is therefore not surprising that their discontinuation after long-term use is associated with a rebound increase in muscle tension. This rebound accounts for many of the symptoms observed in benzodiazepine withdrawal. Muscle stiffness affecting the limbs, back, neck and jaw are commonly reported, and the constant muscle tension probably accounts for the muscle pains which have a similar distribution. Headaches are usually of the "tension headache" type, due to contraction of muscles at the back of the neck, scalp and forehead - often described as a "tight band around the head". Pain in the jaw and teeth is probably due to involuntary jaw clenching, which often occurs unconsciously during sleep.

 

At the same time, the nerves to the muscles are hyperexcitable, leading to tremor, tics, jerks, spasm and twitching, and jumping at the smallest stimulus. All this constant activity contributes to a feeling of fatigue and weakness ("jelly-legs"). In addition, the muscles, especially the small muscles of the eye, are not well co-ordinated, which may lead to blurred or double vision or even eyelid spasms (blepharospasm).

 

None of these symptoms is harmful, and they need not be a cause of worry once they are understood. The muscle pain and stiffness is actually little different from what is regarded as normal after an unaccustomed bout of exercise, and would be positively expected, even by a well-trained athlete, after running a marathon.

 

There are many measures that will alleviate these symptoms, such as muscle stretching exercises as taught in most gyms, moderate exercise, hot baths, massage and general relaxation exercises. Such measures may give only temporary relief at first, but if practised regularly can speed the recovery of normal muscle tone - which will eventually occur spontaneously.

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Thank you, everyone!  I'm glad my story can help inspire others.  Getting off benzos isn't easy, but it is worth it!

 

 

What an amazing lady you are! Our age group is similar and I have two quick questions. Do you still get any palpitations or tachycardia? Also, what dosage of Xanax were you at when you were at maximum? I so applaud your strength and am happy your artistic expression has returned. Life is so precious.

[[me...]]

Hi Joy,

 

I don't get palpitations anymore, but that's probably because I'm taking atenolol, a beta blocker, for my hypertension.  At most, I was taking 6 mgs of xanax a day for a brief period before tapering off.

 

[[sq...]]

Brava!!!  I hope you'll post a pic of an inspirational painting you have created.  We are in the same age range and I can identify with 95% of the sx you listed.  Things do get better but it is often at an incrementally slow pace.  Cog fog is still an issue here but improving as well.  Learning to accept the process of recovery and not think you can really "do" anything to fix the situation is an important lesson in healing.  Stay focused and may the creative energy start flowing again!

[[Ke...]]

Thanks for sharing your story Megan.  When does the fear and impending doom subside?  I'm almost a year out and feel hopeless.

[[me...]]

Brava!!!  I hope you'll post a pic of an inspirational painting you have created.  We are in the same age range and I can identify with 95% of the sx you listed.  Things do get better but it is often at an incrementally slow pace.  Cog fog is still an issue here but improving as well.  Learning to accept the process of recovery and not think you can really "do" anything to fix the situation is an important lesson in healing.  Stay focused and may the creative energy start flowing again!

 

Most of my paintings are of birds and animals and flowers, very colorful, and I used to make a living selling them in Bay Area galleries.  Later, I did illustrations for software manuals and mail order catalogs.  I'll look around to see if I have anything "inspiring."

 

 

Thanks for sharing your story Megan.  When does the fear and impending doom subside?  I'm almost a year out and feel hopeless.

 

Hi, it took well over a year for my fears to substantially subside, but it did happen.  Many people heal or mostly heal by two years off, as I did.

 

[[Co...]]

I still read this for encouragement, Megan, thank you.  17.5 months now and everything is still a struggle.  So many people, it seems, found their healing accelerated at 18 months.  I'm hoping this might be the case for me too - I'm running out of steam here.  Thanks for all you do. 

[[Li...]]

Hello Megan,

      Thanks for sharing your personal story.  Your post has helped me the most so far.  Our stori :smitten:es and age appear similar.  I was prescribed Lorazepam  for anxiety/panic attacks as well 25+ years ago.  My prescription was also cut.  After all this time I came to a realization that a drug was controlling me. 

      I made a decision to get off before I was cut off.  So now it begins.  Harshly 1 went cold turkey and a  bad withdrawal.  Severe panic which I haven't felt for years took hold.  After 3 days off I took a 2mg it brought me of of that horrid withdrawal attack. 

        I thought no.  Then I stared to educate myself on withdrawal.  Read the "Ashton Manual" and found BB. 

      Unfortunately, I do not have the required medication to do a cross over.  I am doing a slow taper based on my readings hoping to at least get myself to a ,05 dose my goal.  I dropped to 1mg in the morning and 1 mg at night.  Withdrawal at this dose for 12 days.  Waves set in symptoms include by not limited to loss of appetite and weight, extreme headaches.    I stabilized at this dose with symptoms not as severe yesterday and today.  I'll stay at this dose and decrease .02 or .05 in maybe two weeks.  I'll ask for a lower dose next doctors appt.  I can cut in half 1mg to .05. 

        I now have hope thank-g-d.  Although it's been just 2+ weeks it seems like a lifetime.  I have used diversion and meditation tapes to help along. 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Megan your perseverance inspires me. I will not let depression anxiety and xanax ruin what is left of my life. Thank you for posting. Xanax did the same to me, palps and constant panic. 

[[me...]]

[[ch...]]

I have spent this afternoon reading this long thread, benzo buddies part of my distraction. I am not far into my taper but think I am doing it whilst in tolerance, or maybe just unlucky that I am going to have symptoms whilst I taper as well as after.

Mostly it's extreme waves of panic/fear, and nausea/no appetite at all. I wondered if there is anything that will help with appetite as we all need to eat, and I am struggling to manage anything but bananas and water for the last month. I am trying to fight my fear as best I can and let it pass over me, but hard to do. I am very far from young and now  the Dr's want me in a psychiatric ward to start me on antidepressants that my stomach wont tolerate, and I want to be clear of drugs, not filled with more, very scared what to do. need to eat to gain strength to fight this . Thank you for all the inspiration

[[of...]]

Megan,

Thank you for this post. I found it while searching Seasonal Affective Disorder.

 

I live in Washington state too and have found the instant end of hot sunny summer days to cool wet and gray this week have really revved up my anxiety, sadness  and feeling of doom during my taper right now. I’m also older, 50’s, and a painter.

 

Lost my Mom this spring and am scared I won’t be able to deal with short dark cold wet gray days. I’m praying it’s a mild short one.

 

Thank you for the inspiration.

 

And to all the young people tapering, please do this NOW. It gets so much worse as you get older. Been on K since my mid twenties and any fears or anxieties I had back then are amplified tenfold now that I am older and tapering.