Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax

[[da...]]

Hey thank you so much for sharing  I am in my late fifties and a writer and  after 2 yrs & 2 months off I've started my second novel - its so exciting to get the creativity back and know that the brain can recover. Cheers!!

[[...]]

Megan💕 thank you for sharing this uplifting succes story!

 

I read it over and over again when everything feels dark.

I'm so happy for you! You're an inspiration like so many others here💚

You are just great👍💖

[[sw...]]

Thanks Megan. Obviously you have inspired many people

[[me...]]

You're welcome, everyone.  :smitten:

[[an...]]

Hi Megan,

 

Are you still experiencing symptoms now and are you 100% symptom-free? And if you are symptom-free, how long have you been symptom-free?

[[fi...]]

Thanks for your post, Megan.  I am 22 months off but still having quite a bit of "cog fog" and memory issues.  Hopefully my healing will continue to progress.  Thanks again for the encouraging post.

[[Fa...]]

Hello Megan,

I have read your very inspiring success story over and over again. Thank you so much for sharing and for you tireless efforts to help people in w/d.

I'm 7 months and 2 weeks out after long-term intermittent use of temazepam for anxiety-related insomnia. Although I don't have the most difficult w/d I still have rough days with anxiety, fatigue and concentration issues.

I'm a wave-window healer and I had a few long windows (20 days in month 3 and almost 30 days in month 7). It was not perfect but I could function 85-90% most of the time.

 

Did you also experience such sxs? And do you feel completely recovered now?

 

I wish you the healthiest and happiest life in the world,

My very best wishes,

Fallingstar

[[me...]]

Hi Megan,

 

Are you still experiencing symptoms now and are you 100% symptom-free? And if you are symptom-free, how long have you been symptom-free?

 

Hi,

 

Once we're through withdrawal, life goes on of course.  I'm 67 years old now, and I occasionally still have cog fog.  However, that may be and probably is age related, not benzo related.  Other than that, I've healed completely.

[[me...]]

Thanks for your post, Megan.  I am 22 months off but still having quite a bit of "cog fog" and memory issues.  Hopefully my healing will continue to progress.  Thanks again for the encouraging post.

 

Cog fog can last for a long time, but it does fade away eventually for most of us.  Mine comes back occasionally, but as I mentioned in the post above, it's just as likely age related as benzo related.  I'm 67.

 

 

[[me...]]

Hello Megan,

I have read your very inspiring success story over and over again. Thank you so much for sharing and for you tireless efforts to help people in w/d.

I'm 7 months and 2 weeks out after long-term intermittent use of temazepam for anxiety-related insomnia. Although I don't have the most difficult w/d I still have rough days with anxiety, fatigue and concentration issues.

I'm a wave-window healer and I had a few long windows (20 days in month 3 and almost 30 days in month 7). It was not perfect but I could function 85-90% most of the time.

 

Did you also experience such sxs? And do you feel completely recovered now?

 

I wish you the healthiest and happiest life in the world,

My very best wishes,

Fallingstar

 

Hi,

 

We all have individual patterns during withdrawal and healing, and I've heard of many like yours, long windows and long waves.  I was different, with a "ground hog day" pattern, in which I'd wake up every morning feeling absolutely awful with every symptom you can think of, especially extreme cog fog, rampant health anxiety and body aches and pains.  This would get better by the afternoon and much better in the evening -  many evenings I felt almost normal.  The next morning the cycle began again, This went on for almost two years, almost every single day.

 

It took a long time, but I'm healed now.  As I said above, the cog fog I occasionally have now is probably age related.  Most of the time I feel 100% normal.

 

[[Fa...]]

Thanks a lot, Megan! I fully agree - we all have individual patterns. It's a weird disease...

So happy for you to hear that you feel 100% normal most of the time. 

[[Pi...]]

Hello Megan,

First, thank you so much for doing an amazing job being an Administrator for the forum. You are definitely helping several people on the forum by posting your personal experience and what you have learned from fellow benzo withdrawal sufferers. I can not express all in words how much we appreciate and thank you for helping us who are still walking thue paths. I have read your success story several times already and it gives me a lot of patience, and belief that in time, I will also heal and recover.

 

Question for you: Did you experience fatigue and lethargy  during your withdrawal?,If so, did it go away as part of your recovery. I did not have fatigue set in until last month and I am still suffering from it. Like you, I also turned 67 this year and am worried that fatigue and lethargy  will be permanent. I will be eight months off the end of this month.

 

Again, my heartfelt thank you and hugs for all the good job you do.

 

 

[[Pi...]]

correction:  7 months off including use of Versed during my colonoscopy in February 2017.

[[...]]

I'm now two years off Xanax and doing better than I have for many years!  Though Xanax did wonders for my panic and anxiety, I didn't realize until recently how much it had taken away from my life.  Once a successful painter, I lost all desire to paint while on xanax.  My senses were muted to the point that I missed much of the beauty in life.  I was apathetic and inactive.  I gained a lot of weight.  I had memory and cognitive problems which worried me a great deal, and I began to think that these might be permanent.

 

Once I was finally off Xanax, it took over a year for most of my symptoms to subside.  Only one was left, but it was the most frightening of all as far as I was concerned - cognitive problems and brain fog.  I was 63, and deeply afraid that this would never leave me.  But, as I passed the 18 month off point a miracle began to unfold.  The mind-fog started to lift.  Things became clearer and brighter.  My creative urges slowly reawakened.  I'm experiencing a personal renaissance of sorts.  At 24 months off this miracle is continuing, and I'm starting to paint again!

 

Getting off, and staying off Xanax has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but it has been worth it.  I continued to heal well past the one year mark, and even past the two year mark.  If I can do this, you can too!

 

 

This is my "One Year Off Xanax" success story, from March 2013:

 

In the late 1990's I started to experience palpitations and tachycardia, which in turn generated panic attacks

that got worse and worse as time went on.  I soon developed an intense fear of the panic attacks

themselves, anticipatory fear, which is common in "panic disorder."  When I was prescribed xanax for the

first time in 1999, I thought it was a gift from heaven.  It worked beautifully, no more palpitations and no

more panic attacks.  I took it for many years before I developed tolerance, which I first noticed when i began

to run out of pills before the end of each month.

 

To make a long story short, I eventually realized that xanax was a double-edged sword which was sapping

my mind and my creativity.  I'd been a successful painter (animals, birds, plants), even making a living from

my art.  But while on xanax I lost all desire to paint, or do much of anything.  I made two unsuccessful

attempts to get off xanax in 2005 and 2009, reinstating at a higher dose each time.  Then finally, in early

2012, I rapidly tapered, crossed over to valium, and off on March 18, 2012.  My prescription had been cut

off, so I couldn't do a longer taper.  But the taper went smoothly, and I only had symptoms once I was off.

They were overwhelming:

 

 

Withdrawal Symptoms at 0-5 months off:

 

 

Anxiety:        Extreme anxiety in the mornings, waking at 4 am, hypervigilance, out-of-the-blue panic

 

Senses:        Altered, distorted and extremely acute hearing, smell, taste, hyperosmia

 

Eyes:            Red, painful, dry,  Visual distortions, minor hallucinations, floaters, etc.

 

Head Sys:      Congestion, pain, cog fog, head zaps, earaches, headaches, sinus problems

 

Body:            Extreme flushing, sweating, chills, pains, temp. hair loss, vertigo, insomnia, vivid dreams

 

Muscles:        Stiffness, pain, twitching, facial tics, hand tremors, restless leg syndrome

 

Nerves:          Raw, exposed, "open wound" feeling all over--absolutely excruciating!

 

Mental:          Depression, obsessive, intrusive thoughts, morbid thoughts, racing mind, agoraphobia,

                      DP/DR, and  extreme hypochondria with countless imagined health issues!

 

Starting in month 5, my symptoms began to lessen, and slowly but steadily got better.  I had windows and waves.

A non-linear rollercoaster ride, but in general I still felt worst in the morning and much better by evening each day.

 

When I started having severe mental symptoms I desperately looked for a way to regain "control."  I found it in

self-distraction, which I applied obsessively at first.  It became an ingrained habit, and I began to look forward

to my favorite distractions.  I began to relax a little, and during months 6-12  the healing really accelerated.

 

Besides distraction, I've done meditation and other spiritual practices.  All of these took my mind off my symptoms

for awhile.  In the afternoons when I started feeling better I'd relax, read, nap, or watch tv.  Nothing strenuous.

I eat what I want and drink half/caff coffee (helps the cog-fog). 

 

 

Remaining symptoms at one year off:

 

Head symptoms, though slowly improving, are still with me.  The zaps have stopped, but congestion, foggyness,

and at times, pain, remain, especially early in the day.

 

Physical symptoms:  almost all gone, with the exception of occasional restless legs, and rarely, mild vertigo.

 

Mental symptoms:  mostly gone, but  I still have occasional racing thoughts when in a "wave,"  My anxiety level

is now much lower than it was before benzos.  This is remarkable since I was prescribed xanax for anxiety!

 

When I took my last benzo a year ago I didn't really have any faith that I could do this.  I'd tried it twice before and

failed. But with the help of BenzoBuddies, I finally managed it.  At three months off I got rid of my stash of xanax,

and I never took a "rescue dose."  The hardest thing for me was learning how to live and cope with my

anxiety without xanax.  I never thought I was a particularly strong person, but now I know I am.  I've proved it!

 

If I can do this, you can too!

 

:smitten:

 

Reading this helped me today. I'm so happy for you! Thank you for being so detailed when describing your symptoms.

[[me...]]

[[Ka...]]

I'm now two years off Xanax and doing better than I have for many years!  Though Xanax did wonders for my panic and anxiety, I didn't realize until recently how much it had taken away from my life.  Once a successful painter, I lost all desire to paint while on xanax.  My senses were muted to the point that I missed much of the beauty in life.  I was apathetic and inactive.  I gained a lot of weight.  I had memory and cognitive problems which worried me a great deal, and I began to think that these might be permanent.

 

Once I was finally off Xanax, it took over a year for most of my symptoms to subside.  Only one was left, but it was the most frightening of all as far as I was concerned - cognitive problems and brain fog.  I was 63, and deeply afraid that this would never leave me.  But, as I passed the 18 month off point a miracle began to unfold.  The mind-fog started to lift.  Things became clearer and brighter.  My creative urges slowly reawakened.  I'm experiencing a personal renaissance of sorts.  At 24 months off this miracle is continuing, and I'm starting to paint again!

 

Getting off, and staying off Xanax has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but it has been worth it.  I continued to heal well past the one year mark, and even past the two year mark.  If I can do this, you can too!

 

 

This is my "One Year Off Xanax" success story, from March 2013:

 

In the late 1990's I started to experience palpitations and tachycardia, which in turn generated panic attacks

that got worse and worse as time went on.  I soon developed an intense fear of the panic attacks

themselves, anticipatory fear, which is common in "panic disorder."  When I was prescribed xanax for the

first time in 1999, I thought it was a gift from heaven.  It worked beautifully, no more palpitations and no

more panic attacks.  I took it for many years before I developed tolerance, which I first noticed when i began

to run out of pills before the end of each month.

 

To make a long story short, I eventually realized that xanax was a double-edged sword which was sapping

my mind and my creativity.  I'd been a successful painter (animals, birds, plants), even making a living from

my art.  But while on xanax I lost all desire to paint, or do much of anything.  I made two unsuccessful

attempts to get off xanax in 2005 and 2009, reinstating at a higher dose each time.  Then finally, in early

2012, I rapidly tapered, crossed over to valium, and off on March 18, 2012.  My prescription had been cut

off, so I couldn't do a longer taper.  But the taper went smoothly, and I only had symptoms once I was off.

They were overwhelming:

 

 

Withdrawal Symptoms at 0-5 months off:

 

 

Anxiety:        Extreme anxiety in the mornings, waking at 4 am, hypervigilance, out-of-the-blue panic

 

Senses:        Altered, distorted and extremely acute hearing, smell, taste, hyperosmia

 

Eyes:            Red, painful, dry,  Visual distortions, minor hallucinations, floaters, etc.

 

Head Sys:      Congestion, pain, cog fog, head zaps, earaches, headaches, sinus problems

 

Body:            Extreme flushing, sweating, chills, pains, temp. hair loss, vertigo, insomnia, vivid dreams

 

Muscles:        Stiffness, pain, twitching, facial tics, hand tremors, restless leg syndrome

 

Nerves:          Raw, exposed, "open wound" feeling all over--absolutely excruciating!

 

Mental:          Depression, obsessive, intrusive thoughts, morbid thoughts, racing mind, agoraphobia,

                      DP/DR, and  extreme hypochondria with countless imagined health issues!

 

Starting in month 5, my symptoms began to lessen, and slowly but steadily got better.  I had windows and waves.

A non-linear rollercoaster ride, but in general I still felt worst in the morning and much better by evening each day.

 

When I started having severe mental symptoms I desperately looked for a way to regain "control."  I found it in

self-distraction, which I applied obsessively at first.  It became an ingrained habit, and I began to look forward

to my favorite distractions.  I began to relax a little, and during months 6-12  the healing really accelerated.

 

Besides distraction, I've done meditation and other spiritual practices.  All of these took my mind off my symptoms

for awhile.  In the afternoons when I started feeling better I'd relax, read, nap, or watch tv.  Nothing strenuous.

I eat what I want and drink half/caff coffee (helps the cog-fog). 

 

 

Remaining symptoms at one year off:

 

Head symptoms, though slowly improving, are still with me.  The zaps have stopped, but congestion, foggyness,

and at times, pain, remain, especially early in the day.

 

Physical symptoms:  almost all gone, with the exception of occasional restless legs, and rarely, mild vertigo.

 

Mental symptoms:  mostly gone, but  I still have occasional racing thoughts when in a "wave,"  My anxiety level

is now much lower than it was before benzos.  This is remarkable since I was prescribed xanax for anxiety!

 

When I took my last benzo a year ago I didn't really have any faith that I could do this.  I'd tried it twice before and

failed. But with the help of BenzoBuddies, I finally managed it.  At three months off I got rid of my stash of xanax,

and I never took a "rescue dose."  The hardest thing for me was learning how to live and cope with my

anxiety without xanax.  I never thought I was a particularly strong person, but now I know I am.  I've proved it!

 

If I can do this, you can too!

 

:smitten:

 

Reading this helped me today. I'm so happy for you! Thank you for being so detailed when describing your symptoms.

 

Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope.

 

[[fl...]]

Thank you so much, Megan, for sharing your story!  It gives me such hope.  Best to you in the coming years, Flibberty 

[[me...]]

[[Pi...]]

Megan, Sending  you my heartfelt thank you for sharing us your story. Your story gives me hope, inspiration and that it also helps me to maintain patience and acceptance while going through my withdrawal process, knowing that in time, I will also regain my normal life back. It also helps tremendously to know that healing do actually happens.

 

Blessings and best to you with your new life!

Pi

[[me...]]

Megan, Sending  you my heartfelt thank you for sharing us your story. Your story gives me hope, inspiration and that it also helps me to maintain patience and acceptance while going through my withdrawal process, knowing that in time, I will also regain my normal life back. It also helps tremendously to know that healing do actually happens.

 

Blessings and best to you with your new life!

Pi

 

You're welcome, Pi! 

[[In...]]

Hi;  I️ read your post over and over again and it always gives me hope. Thank you for this. I️ am 20 months off f lorazepam and 15 months off of a short term use of sertraline and am suffering  so badly still. I️ was on lorazepam .05 MGs.a night for ten years.  I️ tapered off of it over four months and I order to do that I️ was put on sertraline.  The side affects from the sertraline caused horrible anxiety which of course reared its ugly head when I️ finished my taper off of lorazepam. I️ had never had anxiety before and it was very scary.  So, I️ ended up in the er and saw a p doc who told me it wouldn’t hurt to take a benzo now and then when the anxiety got too bad. Of course I️ believed him. I️ after a short time I️ tapered off the sertraline and was told I️ could just stop the few lorazapams I️ had been taking for the anxiety.  I️ had not heard of kindling of course.  I️ simply trusted my doctors. Silly me!  I️ was finally off of everything to celebrate my moms 100 th Birthday. I️ was so thrilled and so happy with my self. The day of her birthday went very well and it was so nice to see my mom so happy!  I️ made it through the day with aching legs and some anger issues directed at my sister. That’s another story. Lol.  A few weeks later things got bad. So many symptoms hit and insomnia was bad.  Again I️ ended up at the er and was told I️ was relapsing instead of being told it was withdrawal, which it was.  The p doc tried to get me to go on Prozac and wanted me to reinstate lorazepam yet again. I️ just looked at him and thought, I️ have just got off these horrible drugs which has taken me over a year to do and you want me to start again. I️ just got up and left. Anyway, so here I️ am 20 months off and I’m sure kindled and I’m exhausted from the fight. Many nights I️ begged god to take me and sometimes I️ still do. I️ pray every night for help from god and sometimes I️ am angry at him for not helping me. Silly I️ know. Well, that’s my story. I️ have managed to lose all my friends and most of my family through this. I️ lost my job and now my finances are so bad it’s scary how I️ will survive another month. I️ have a daughter who ofcourse does not believe I️ could possibly be in withdrawal stil. And has told me she wil not support me as I️ am lying. This breaks my heart as we used to be so close. The closeness has gone. I️ never thought it would take this long to get well. Sorry I️ have been so long winded, but besides god I️ really have no one to talk to anymore and I’m scared.  My symptoms that remain are insomnia, burning itchy scalp, muscles spasms in my legs and back, buzzing in my arms and legs , a bit of anxiety and depression which seems to have resulted from feeling so worthless and hopeless in this life. I️ experienced a very bad bout of betting a few mornings ago upon waking which made me throw up. It lasted for about half an hour but was so scary as it was the first time it has happened to me during this withdrawal. I️ don’t know why or where it came from. I️ do have tinnitus which has calmed alit, and my ears do feel full now and then also. I️ find the depression which I️ never had before is the hardest thing to deal with as I️ cry everyday.  Am hoping this all lifts very soon as Christmas is here again and this will be my fourth Christmas that I️ have felt horrible. Anyway, sorry again for going on. I️ guess I️ just needed to talk and am hoping for some hope. Thank you again for your post on B.B.  it is my go to post on bad days which are alit lately.  In ending, I️ too am an artist as is my daughter. I️ am self taught she went to art school so is leaps and bounds better than me. She too has sold her work. Me, well no. I️ haven’t touched a brush for years as the drugs took that away from me years ago. I️ hope to be fortunate like you and get that creativity back some day. I️ hope you are still doing great and I️ wish you the best.  Lynette from Canada.

[[be...]]

Hi Megan

 

Your continued success gives me hope. I hope all buddies here can have your positive attitude 

 

Betsy 

[[bo...]]

Happy to hear that it's getting better!!  That's good to know.  This is my 1 year off of Xanax and I am doing better, too.

[[Bn...]]

I just got in here.  Xanax is my monster, about 20 years.  Never tried to quit before.  Last week hardly counts.  I would LOVE any information you are willing to share.  The first information I received from my doctor was cut .5 mgs a week for 12 weeks.  I went home and quite literally had no idea the actual work I would need to do.  That was last Monday I started, stopped on Wednesday.  I am gathering information to begin a proper taper job.  I have been taking xanax for 20 years.  I have the Ashton tapering printed out but it adds valium.  If you were sitting here on 6 mgs and WANT OFF.  Would you take the valium?  I just don't know what the smartest thing to do is.  Thanks

 

Kristin

[[be...]]

Hi:

 

Welcome here. I too was on a high dose of Xanax. I think you'll get responses in you post this on General Taper Plans.

 

Good luck!