Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax

[[ja...]]

Thank you Megan, I am grateful and appreciate all you do on this forum. You are a incredibly compassionate and kind person. Thank you for the sacrifice you make to help others.

 

Love Jackie

[[Mo...]]

That's wonderful Megan I'm so happy for you!  What scares me is I have all the symptoms you posted after jumping now, while I'm still on a very high dose of Librium 95 mgs.  I have night terrors ringing of the ears tremors shakes depression and anxiety, cog fog through the roof lost all joy in life all joy of anything.  Is there any hope for someone like me?  -TY Mo2 :'(

[[...]]

Can I ask you a question about your WD ?? When you tried the first 2 times, did it make the next effort more difficult I don't understand how it was much easier last fall , stopping the klonopin after 7 years!!! This time after just 4 weeks small dose xananx and a week of .50 mg Valium to taper , I feel like a complete wreck!!! Much more severe symptoms.  I read about reinstatement , but just wanted to hear a personal experience ....

 

Thanks so much ..

[[me...]]

Mommyof2 - It sounds like you may be in tolerance to Librium.  Also, many people have significant symptoms while tapering, this is not unusual.  I was lucky in that respect, even though I tapered rapidly, I didn't have many symptoms until I was off, when all hell broke loose.  This was probably due to the fact I crossed over to valium, which was very sedating for me....

 

DLW - What you describe is called "kindling," and yes, I had it in the extreme.  My first withdrawal 9 years ago was almost symptom free, but I made the mistake of reinstating when I had a spate of anxiety/panic attacks.  The second one was a hospital detox/ct, from which I kindled big time.  But even so, I was able to stay off Xanax this time and believe me, no matter what happens in my life, I'll never go back on.....

[[...]]

Megan, 

 

Thanks... I'm following your lead... Never again!

[[...]]

Love, love, love hearing great news!! There is hope for each and every one of us!!

 

Thank you!!

[[Lo...]]

if God can do it for you then He can do it for me and everyone else on here!!! Thank you so much! 

[[ca...]]

Megan,

 

Thanks for sharing this.

It helps me to come back here and read this.. a lot....Like every time I doubt I will ever be normal again...which is often.

 

Much love and healing,

Causing

[[me...]]

:smitten:

[[Bu...]]

Megan,

 

Thank you so much for talking to me last night. I was going through hell. It was lovely to hear from a senior moderator.

 

Love Buddy42

[[me...]]

Megan,

 

Thank you so much for talking to me last night. I was going through hell. It was lovely to hear from a senior moderator.

 

Love Buddy42

 

[[br...]]

Megan,

 

I'm 3 years off, consider myself mostly healed from any benzo effects, outside of one suspicious wave-like setback very recently.

 

But, curious... you mentioned having anxiety pre-benzo but sound like you're past it mostly now?  I had panic/anxiety before, during and after.

I'm managing it much better these days but it's still very harsh at times. The kind of harsh that leads one to take meds, but I won't take any psych drugs. I've been in therapy and making steady progress.

 

Just curious if you did anything in particular that helped you adjust after being off the drug that has helped quell your anxiety these days?

 

Great story.

[[me...]]

Megan,

 

I'm 3 years off, consider myself mostly healed from any benzo effects, outside of one suspicious wave-like setback very recently.

 

But, curious... you mentioned having anxiety pre-benzo but sound like you're past it mostly now?  I had panic/anxiety before, during and after.

I'm managing it much better these days but it's still very harsh at times. The kind of harsh that leads one to take meds, but I won't take any psych drugs. I've been in therapy and making steady progress.

 

Just curious if you did anything in particular that helped you adjust after being off the drug that has helped quell your anxiety these days?

 

Great story.

 

 

Hi Bryan,

 

The main thing that has helped me is meditation and spiritual study, mainly in the Zen Buddhist and "non-dual" realms.  Much of this is highly mystical in nature, and definitely not mainstream, but it has given me a depth of spiritual understanding that has allayed my anxiety about such things as aging, sickness, and death.  I particularly like a teacher named Adyashanti, who has a background in Zen Buddhism and Christianity, but there are many others as well.

[[si...]]

Hi Megan,

I am in my last bit of taper and hurting real bad.

Just want to say thank you for keeping the forum updated with how you are doing.

It gives me so much hope.

I am very interested in meditation practices but had never heard of Adyashanti I am going to google him now!

[[br...]]

Giant bump!

 

Megan what a great success story. When you started getting better at 18 months out, would you say you were able to live a normal life then, could you of went to work etc?

 

Thanks

[[me...]]

Giant bump!

 

Megan what a great success story. When you started getting better at 18 months out, would you say you were able to live a normal life then, could you of went to work etc?

 

Thanks

 

I still had a few remaining symptoms at 18 months, mainly morning cog fog.  I'm retired, so I didn't have to worry about working, but my life was pretty much normal at that point.  The cog fog finally went away just before two years off....

[[br...]]

Giant bump!

 

Megan what a great success story. When you started getting better at 18 months out, would you say you were able to live a normal life then, could you of went to work etc?

 

Thanks

 

I still had a few remaining symptoms at 18 months, mainly morning cog fog.  I'm retired, so I didn't have to worry about working, but my life was pretty much normal at that point.  The cog fog finally went away just before two years off....

 

Thanks a lot. I bet it feels amazing being so sick then so well. Exactly what is cog fog? Does it mean the sort of jaded memory, as if it takes a while to think about something or a task?

[[me...]]

For me cog fog is a combination of physical head congestion, stiff and painful jaw and neck muscles, and most of all the inability to think clearly. 

[[Ma...]]

I have just started here on this site, I've been on and off Xanax and Valium for the past 6 years have been put on recently Sertaline they tried every one in the book.  Prescribed originally for Sever Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Depression after I left my husband of 22years due to his Alcoholism and abuse.  I now no these drugs have only made my life so much worse.  Originally as you have said I thought it was a miracle drug but as time went by I was really only existing and still don't think i have delt with the loss of my relationship and life that went with it.  I was 16 when meeting my husband and life with him was all I knew.

I had never been on medication before this and my doctor never mentioned I should only be on them for small period of time, in fact he was happy to keep giving me scripts of both and even Nitrazapam for sleeping.  My tolerance was building therefore took more and more and escaping the problems in my life.  I don't drink alcohol at all now and have not for years, I just don't like the taste.

I also have put on alot of weight, which at the moment are really trying to use my exercise bike 30min every day and eat healthy.

I am scared, I only have a small amount of medication left and my original doc who was handing out these meds was closed down due to this.  I have struggled to find a Doctor or any professional here in Australia that will help with a tapering method.

I have been to detox twice and finished each time, they only do it over a period of 7 days and my body and brain were not adjusting well.  As you no that's when all the horrible symptoms start.  I even had A Seziure and was very sick, this was after 7 months and the second time, I felt so bad all the time I tried so many other things to help, meditation, natural remadies etc and i felt that I could no longer live this way and I would rather die.  I felt I'd been on a huge burden to all around me.  No one i new had delt with this, I could not expect them to understand the full extent of how bad i was Mind, body and soul.

So I relapsed a friend was giving them to me, knowing one day I would have to face it again, the general anxiety of all this in it self is extremely bad.

I really need to find a good doctor that will understand and help with a tapering method.  In Australia they have just clamped down on prescribing any of these medications, I understand why but myself and people like me that were really test subjects should now be given proper care to come off these medications.

At my highest point I'd been taking 8mgs xanax a day and 25mg valium  a day.  Have not used Nitrazipam for a long time. 

With the medication I had left I tried to tapper myself but it's just so hard.  I'm looking after my father who has had a stroke and helping my mother with the house and all needs, I'm happy to do these things and can when I have the meds, once I'm off I don't no what too do & I no how bad I'll feel, trying to stay positive though and I feel like I've let everyone down again.

All the symptoms you have mentioned I have had.  I no you understand where I'm coming from.

Am very happy to hear how good you are and how far you have come, you should be so proud of yourself and all others here that i've read about.  I too have lost my lust for life in general.

best wishes to all, this is my story in short, although it sound long.

Magenta    :'(

 

[[me...]]

I have just started here on this site, I've been on and off Xanax and Valium for the past 6 years have been put on recently Sertaline they tried every one in the book.  Prescribed originally for Sever Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Depression after I left my husband of 22years due to his Alcoholism and abuse.  I now no these drugs have only made my life so much worse.  Originally as you have said I thought it was a miracle drug but as time went by I was really only existing and still don't think i have delt with the loss of my relationship and life that went with it.  I was 16 when meeting my husband and life with him was all I knew.

I had never been on medication before this and my doctor never mentioned I should only be on them for small period of time, in fact he was happy to keep giving me scripts of both and even Nitrazapam for sleeping.  My tolerance was building therefore took more and more and escaping the problems in my life.  I don't drink alcohol at all now and have not for years, I just don't like the taste.

I also have put on alot of weight, which at the moment are really trying to use my exercise bike 30min every day and eat healthy.

I am scared, I only have a small amount of medication left and my original doc who was handing out these meds was closed down due to this.  I have struggled to find a Doctor or any professional here in Australia that will help with a tapering method.

I have been to detox twice and finished each time, they only do it over a period of 7 days and my body and brain were not adjusting well.  As you no that's when all the horrible symptoms start.  I even had A Seziure and was very sick, this was after 7 months and the second time, I felt so bad all the time I tried so many other things to help, meditation, natural remadies etc and i felt that I could no longer live this way and I would rather die.  I felt I'd been on a huge burden to all around me.  No one i new had delt with this, I could not expect them to understand the full extent of how bad i was Mind, body and soul.

So I relapsed a friend was giving them to me, knowing one day I would have to face it again, the general anxiety of all this in it self is extremely bad.

I really need to find a good doctor that will understand and help with a tapering method.  In Australia they have just clamped down on prescribing any of these medications, I understand why but myself and people like me that were really test subjects should now be given proper care to come off these medications.

At my highest point I'd been taking 8mgs xanax a day and 25mg valium  a day.  Have not used Nitrazipam for a long time. 

With the medication I had left I tried to tapper myself but it's just so hard.  I'm looking after my father who has had a stroke and helping my mother with the house and all needs, I'm happy to do these things and can when I have the meds, once I'm off I don't no what too do & I no how bad I'll feel, trying to stay positive though and I feel like I've let everyone down again.

All the symptoms you have mentioned I have had.  I no you understand where I'm coming from.

Am very happy to hear how good you are and how far you have come, you should be so proud of yourself and all others here that i've read about.  I too have lost my lust for life in general.

best wishes to all, this is my story in short, although it sound long.

Magenta    :'(

 

 

Hi again, Magenta40, and once again, welcome to the forum.

 

First, I copied your post above and added it to your "Introductions" post from tonight - I think a few more members will see it on that board than might see it here. I'll try and answer some of your questions:

 

We have several caring and friendly Australian members, and they may be able to help you find a doctor in your area.  I'm in the western U.S. and of course our health care system is much different from yours.

 

It's important, inasmuch as is possible, to avoid going on and off benzos multiple times.  This can lead to kindling, which can make each successive withdrawal harder than the last.  IMO, for someone who has been rapidly detoxed in the past, slow tapering is especially important.  I've heard that detox's in Australia keep people much longer than they do in the U.S., but even so, it's an iffy proposition.

 

Good luck, and keep posting!

[[Pe...]]

I have just started here on this site, I've been on and off Xanax and Valium for the past 6 years have been put on recently Sertaline they tried every one in the book.  Prescribed originally for Sever Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Depression after I left my husband of 22years due to his Alcoholism and abuse.  I now no these drugs have only made my life so much worse.  Originally as you have said I thought it was a miracle drug but as time went by I was really only existing and still don't think i have delt with the loss of my relationship and life that went with it.  I was 16 when meeting my husband and life with him was all I knew.

I had never been on medication before this and my doctor never mentioned I should only be on them for small period of time, in fact he was happy to keep giving me scripts of both and even Nitrazapam for sleeping.  My tolerance was building therefore took more and more and escaping the problems in my life.  I don't drink alcohol at all now and have not for years, I just don't like the taste.

I also have put on alot of weight, which at the moment are really trying to use my exercise bike 30min every day and eat healthy.

I am scared, I only have a small amount of medication left and my original doc who was handing out these meds was closed down due to this.  I have struggled to find a Doctor or any professional here in Australia that will help with a tapering method.

I have been to detox twice and finished each time, they only do it over a period of 7 days and my body and brain were not adjusting well.  As you no that's when all the horrible symptoms start.  I even had A Seziure and was very sick, this was after 7 months and the second time, I felt so bad all the time I tried so many other things to help, meditation, natural remadies etc and i felt that I could no longer live this way and I would rather die.  I felt I'd been on a huge burden to all around me.  No one i new had delt with this, I could not expect them to understand the full extent of how bad i was Mind, body and soul.

So I relapsed a friend was giving them to me, knowing one day I would have to face it again, the general anxiety of all this in it self is extremely bad.

I really need to find a good doctor that will understand and help with a tapering method.  In Australia they have just clamped down on prescribing any of these medications, I understand why but myself and people like me that were really test subjects should now be given proper care to come off these medications.

At my highest point I'd been taking 8mgs xanax a day and 25mg valium  a day.  Have not used Nitrazipam for a long time. 

With the medication I had left I tried to tapper myself but it's just so hard.  I'm looking after my father who has had a stroke and helping my mother with the house and all needs, I'm happy to do these things and can when I have the meds, once I'm off I don't no what too do & I no how bad I'll feel, trying to stay positive though and I feel like I've let everyone down again.

All the symptoms you have mentioned I have had.  I no you understand where I'm coming from.

Am very happy to hear how good you are and how far you have come, you should be so proud of yourself and all others here that i've read about.  I too have lost my lust for life in general.

best wishes to all, this is my story in short, although it sound long.

Magenta    :'(

 

 

I am going to post this on the blogs of Australians I know....hope to get you some help Magenta...

 

 

P❤️

 

 

[[Ro...]]

Tomorrow morning get in contact with reconnection in Melbourne. They can can direct you to the right services!

 

Good luck and keep us posted! Xx

[[K ...]]

I would encourage everyone who is struggling with withdrawal six from these horrible meds to seek out a good acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist to assist in their detox.  Chinese medicine has helped me immensely through the years and if I had seen a Chinese herbalist/acupuncturist soon enough when insomnia grew intolerable last November I would not have needed start on what I thought was going to be just a short term use of Ambien (zolpidem) ....a TRULY AWFUL drug which is not allowed to be sold in the UK!  Our government is in the hands of BigPharma....

[[se...]]

Hi, Megan. I just wanted to say that your story is very inspiring, and I am glad that you can paint again; the world needs all the beautifying can get! I just jumped a couple weeks ago after a relatively short taper. I have been feeling pretty good except for the nighttime. I dread going to bed because of the raging insomnia. Your post is the first that I have seen that mentions restless legs. RLS is driving me crazy, and the only thing at my disposal that seems to help at all is caffeine. It is so weird because many speculate caffeine plays a major role in RLS. Do you remember how long it took for your restless legs to ease up? Some nights I just want to cry.

[[me...]]

Hi, Megan. I just wanted to say that your story is very inspiring, and I am glad that you can paint again; the world needs all the beautifying can get! I just jumped a couple weeks ago after a relatively short taper. I have been feeling pretty good except for the nighttime. I dread going to bed because of the raging insomnia. Your post is the first that I have seen that mentions restless legs. RLS is driving me crazy, and the only thing at my disposal that seems to help at all is caffeine. It is so weird because many speculate caffeine plays a major role in RLS. Do you remember how long it took for your restless legs to ease up? Some nights I just want to cry.

 

Hi,

 

My RLS, which was quite bad during acute withdrawal, gradually eased off over a period of about a year.  For most of that time it didn't really bother me much since it came in late evening but subsided after that. 

 

I think caffeine gets a bad rap, since in moderate amounts it really helped my severe cog fog as well as my depression.  Also, coffee has many of the same health benefits as tea does......I've continued to drink coffee all through withdrawal.