Better than Ever at Two, now THREE Years off Xanax

[[ho...]]

 

[[ma...]]

:thumbsup:

[[Ma...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

[[me...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

 

Speaking from my own experience after three withdrawals, the last one of which was, unfortunately, a fast taper, all I can say is whatever you do, once you're off benzos, don't go back on for any reason.  My third and final time was very difficult for me, especially for the first year off because my healing was so slow, and it took more than two years for me to heal completely.  That probably won't be the case for you, especially if you're tapering slowly this time. I'm almost 67 now and have been off almost 5 years.  I've finally got my life back, and I wouldn't go back on benzos for anything, ever.

 

[[Th...]]

Thanks Megan for your detailed and honest post! Much appreciated! I'm on day 15 from a cold turkey using .25 xanax for about two years. No one told me to taper so I just stopped. This has been the hardest 15 days of my life! Reading your post, I do have some fears about dealing with these symptoms for a year or even two! Still, I am forging through and will never take a xanax again! Kudos to you!

[[me...]]

Thanks Megan for your detailed and honest post! Much appreciated! I'm on day 15 from a cold turkey using .25 xanax for about two years. No one told me to taper so I just stopped. This has been the hardest 15 days of my life! Reading your post, I do have some fears about dealing with these symptoms for a year or even two! Still, I am forging through and will never take a xanax again! Kudos to you!

 

Hi, I don't think you have to worry, especially if you don't reinstate.  You were on a low dose and, especially if this is your first withdrawal, it probably won't last anywhere near as long as mine did.  I was on a high dose for many years and it was my third withdrawal, so I'd kindled, etc.

 

[[be...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

 

Speaking from my own experience after three withdrawals, the last one of which was, unfortunately, a fast taper, all I can say is whatever you do, once you're off benzos, don't go back on for any reason.  My third and final time was very difficult for me, especially for the first year off because my healing was so slow, and it took more than two years for me to heal completely.  That probably won't be the case for you, especially if you're tapering slowly this time. I'm almost 67 now and have been off almost 5 years.  I've finally got my life back, and I wouldn't go back on benzos for anything, ever.

 

 

[[Gr...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

 

Speaking from my own experience after three withdrawals, the last one of which was, unfortunately, a fast taper, all I can say is whatever you do, once you're off benzos, don't go back on for any reason.  My third and final time was very difficult for me, especially for the first year off because my healing was so slow, and it took more than two years for me to heal completely.  That probably won't be the case for you, especially if you're tapering slowly this time. I'm almost 67 now and have been off almost 5 years.  I've finally got my life back, and I wouldn't go back on benzos for anything, ever.

 

 

Megan, if you were in a situation where a doctor wanted to give you a benzo just one time, say for a surgery - do you think it would be safe to take it?

 

D

[[me...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

 

Speaking from my own experience after three withdrawals, the last one of which was, unfortunately, a fast taper, all I can say is whatever you do, once you're off benzos, don't go back on for any reason.  My third and final time was very difficult for me, especially for the first year off because my healing was so slow, and it took more than two years for me to heal completely.  That probably won't be the case for you, especially if you're tapering slowly this time. I'm almost 67 now and have been off almost 5 years.  I've finally got my life back, and I wouldn't go back on benzos for anything, ever.

 

 

Megan, if you were in a situation where a doctor wanted to give you a benzo just one time, say for a surgery - do you think it would be safe to take it?

 

D

 

Yes, I've been given a small one time dose once over the last 5 years - for major abdominal surgery, and possibly once for a colonoscopy - midazolam, I think.  It didn't have any ill effects.

[[Gr...]]

I am 64, almost 65, and almost finished with my taper .  I have been on between 3-4 mg Ativan along with antidepressives for 14 years. I went through a taper from Ativan 8 years ago, and was unsucessful.  6 months after finishing, I had severe anxiety, night terrors.loss of appetite, speaking rapidly and sometimes off the topic.

I am almost done I it a transition to avium and taper, from 5 mg 3x a day, now at 1.5 in the morning and 2.5 at night, along with antihistamines, that I need anyway.  I am so afraid I won't make it again.  Anyone have ideas?

 

Speaking from my own experience after three withdrawals, the last one of which was, unfortunately, a fast taper, all I can say is whatever you do, once you're off benzos, don't go back on for any reason.  My third and final time was very difficult for me, especially for the first year off because my healing was so slow, and it took more than two years for me to heal completely.  That probably won't be the case for you, especially if you're tapering slowly this time. I'm almost 67 now and have been off almost 5 years.  I've finally got my life back, and I wouldn't go back on benzos for anything, ever.

 

 

Megan, if you were in a situation where a doctor wanted to give you a benzo just one time, say for a surgery - do you think it would be safe to take it?

 

D

 

Yes, I've been given a small one time dose once over the last 5 years - for major abdominal surgery, and possibly once for a colonoscopy - midazolam, I think.  It didn't have any ill effects.

 

I am so glad that worked out well for you! 

[[Co...]]

Megan, what were some of the things you did for distraction in your first year?  I'm finding that I'm much better off M-F when I'm at work.  The weekends are hideous.  I'm too depressed to get out, and even when I force myself everything feels very weird, forced and "off."  I spend a lot of time on the forum, but it reaches a point where it's counter-productive and makes me more anxious.  I can't concentrate enough to read or even watch tv (it's odd that I can function as well at work - I have cog-fog so bad I make stupid mistakes, but I seem to be holding it together okay). 

 

Any suggestions for distractions?  Thank you, and thank you for your very reassuring update.  I'm 50 and for the last four years while I was taking clonazepam, I began believing I had early dementia - so frightening. 

[[me...]]

Megan, what were some of the things you did for distraction in your first year?  I'm finding that I'm much better off M-F when I'm at work.  The weekends are hideous.  I'm too depressed to get out, and even when I force myself everything feels very weird, forced and "off."  I spend a lot of time on the forum, but it reaches a point where it's counter-productive and makes me more anxious.  I can't concentrate enough to read or even watch tv (it's odd that I can function as well at work - I have cog-fog so bad I make stupid mistakes, but I seem to be holding it together okay). 

 

Any suggestions for distractions?  Thank you, and thank you for your very reassuring update.  I'm 50 and for the last four years while I was taking clonazepam, I began believing I had early dementia - so frightening.

 

I watched old, classic movies, played a lot of freecell, read when I was physically able, did arts, crafts, and home improvement tasks, and spent lots of time with my cats.  Also went out on short day trips and to a local beach.  Non-taxing things like that.

[[Co...]]

thanks

[[St...]]

That's so awesome Megan....you are very strong!!

[[be...]]

That's so awesome Megan....you are very strong!!

 

That's our Girl!

[[me...]]

[[Al...]]

Hello

 

Your story resonated so strongly with mine, it made me cry. Also an Artist and crazy cat lady. Unfortunately agoraphobia and depression have prevented me from leaving home or working for 11 months.

 

Currently, still on very high doses on Xanax and Zopiclone. I know, after 19 years of being on these meds and several attempts to stop, which have resulted in multiple seizures and numerous stays in psych wards, that these meds don't even work anymore.

 

I take them. 1. Because I am so incredibly fearful of experiencing a panic attack, that I cause myself a panic attack. And, 2. Because, although they no longer 'work' my poor, broken abused body starts needs them just to stay at this level of 'normal'

 

I get panicky thinking about starting the tapering process and if I spend too long on this forum, I start to over analyze / over think things and feel my skin start to crawl and my throat muscles tighten and close.

 

I am desperate... Desperate to get off these meds and back to the beautiful, happy, athletic, artist I used to be.

 

Thank you for sharing your story especially the sxs. I've bookmarked it to read whenever I feel I am not going to make it.

 

X ATGNT 

[[lo...]]

Hello

 

Your story resonated so strongly with mine, it made me cry. Also an Artist and crazy cat lady. Unfortunately agoraphobia and depression have prevented me from leaving home or working for 11 months.

 

Currently, still on very high doses on Xanax and Zopiclone. I know, after 19 years of being on these meds and several attempts to stop, which have resulted in multiple seizures and numerous stays in psych wards, that these meds don't even work anymore.

 

I take them. 1. Because I am so incredibly fearful of experiencing a panic attack, that I cause myself a panic attack. And, 2. Because, although they no longer 'work' my poor, broken abused body starts needs them just to stay at this level of 'normal'

 

I get panicky thinking about starting the tapering process and if I spend too long on this forum, I start to over analyze / over think things and feel my skin start to crawl and my throat muscles tighten and close.

 

I am desperate... Desperate to get off these meds and back to the beautiful, happy, athletic, artist I used to be.

 

Thank you for sharing your story especially the sxs. I've bookmarked it to read whenever I feel I am not going to make it.

 

X ATGNT 

 

Hey I understand wjat you mean, now I am only on my first taper and attempt at being off after a huge set back in Sept my life has been chaos, and I want off them but fear panic attacks so badly I think I have to stay on them to even be "Okay". I fear being in a physc ward, my biggest fear is going crazy. Lately I have been having awful.scary thoughts. I miss my mind. I have been on them 16 almost 17 years. My highest was 10mgs but after being told they will.pull me off I started a taper and did okay at first but I lost my sister and had a lot of relationsgop.problems and the taoer had to stop.and now I can't leave my house or room most days. And my days are spend obsessing over my health.

[[me...]]

Hello ladies,

 

I used to also be afraid of having another panic attack, I was scared of them and terrified of the palpitations that went along with them.  But we are a lot stronger than we think.  I never thought I could do anything as hard as withdrawal, and really believed I needed xanax just to get by.  But, going through withdrawal showd me how strong I really am, and I eventually learned how to deal with my anxiety and panic.  Once I realized I wouldn't really ever die of a panic attack, I became less afraid and learned how to distract myself from dire catastrophic thoughts.  Spirituality and aging also helped - we don't think of getting old as a positive thing, but now that I'm in my 60's my lifelong social anxiety has almost dissappeared and I'm much more comfortable in my own skin. 

 

You can do this, it isn't easy, but it can be done.  Live one day at a time, distract, and you'll get to the other side. 

 

[[be...]]

Megan:

 

What is freecell?

[[me...]]

Megan:

 

What is freecell?

 

It's an online solitaire game.

[[am...]]

How ironic I was just looking for this post the other day. I have serious cognitive issues 6 months post jump. I need hope.

Thank you

[[me...]]

How ironic I was just looking for this post the other day. I have serious cognitive issues 6 months post jump. I need hope.

Thank you

 

I understand, and it's so frustrating how long it takes to heal sometimes.  The symptoms in your signature were all major ones for me, and it took me about a year to see noticable improvement in them.  But other minor (mostly physical) symptoms had already disappeared by then.  Have any of your symptoms improved at all?

[[be...]]

Megan:

 

What is freecell?

 

It's an online solitaire game.

 

I do that...........

[[Es...]]

Hey Megan,

 

I just read the first post. Gonna go through the blogs slowly.

 

Less talking, more reading. More answering ppl's posts.

 

I have little to offer. AA taught me: you help yourself by helping others.

 

It all sounds like sci-fi...  Life without benzos.

 

Yet I did it once for 11 yrs (2003-2014). I remember happiness. Feeling of strength. Of self-worth.

 

One pdoc told me: "chapeau bas". You achieved the impossible.

 

Now four pdocs say if I get down to 5-10 mg Valium a night.

 

This would be a huge achievement. Cannot imagine it. Bad insomnia.

 

Yeah, I remember getting my life back without benzos.

 

Congrats and keep going. You're my role model. I badly need role models now.

 

I go very very slowly with this forum, cause I get addicted to the internet too.

 

Must relearn time management. And moderation.

 

But so many ppl, you included, give me HOPE. I'm gonna hang around.