withdrawing from klonopin, norco, AND Z Drugs...(sorry, I didn't know...)

[[le...]]

This is Leena (again).

 

I almost feel like I need to start all over again describing my situation, as I went back and looked at my calendar (I kept a medicine log...) of the months following my fall from the ladder (broken pelvis and ribs) and subsequent recuperation. I also went to more of your website, and for the first time noticed the Z Drugs.  Oh boy, now I feel totally messed up and confused. I really need advice now.  And I am more scared than ever.

 

First the klonopin.  I did say in my prior post that I mostly took .5mg - 1 mg over the past (at least 15) years, thinking that keeping my body at this constant dose was a GOOD thing.  However, after looking at the months following my fall (which would be April, May, June, July, and August)  I saw that I was sort of all over the place with the klonopin.  In the hospital, they gave me more than I usually took...and sent me home with a prescription for more than I usually took.  Even though I tried to stay at the same dose as before my fall, there was one day where I actually took 5 mg.  I think this was a day when I was experiencing withdrawals from going down on the fentanyl.  I had read that klonopin might help.  Most days it looks like I took about 1.5mg but some days it was more.  I only took 5mg. that one day.  After it felt like things were beginning to subside a little, I went back to my .5 - 1 mg.  But it still looks like I occasionally took 1.5 or 2 mg. 

 

The opiate info is basically the same as in my prior post.  I have NOT had a norco in 3 nights.

 

Now to the Z drugs:  Yesterday, I saw the list for Z drugs.  Actually, I just went back to the list and saw that Restoril is not a Z drug, but a benzo.  It is Lunesta that is the Z drug...but my pain doctor had me trying both the end of July through the third week in August, because my pain had grown so greatly that I could not sleep.  I only tried Lunesta for about 2 weeks (3 mg) but didn't like how it made me feel.  I think I also had about 2 weeks worth of Restoril but it didn't help.

 

I am sorry to have not given all this in the beginning.  I have just sort of been in a fog.  But when I started seriously thinking about how to start tapering, I did revisit my calendar.  And now I have no clue what to do.  I have gone 3 nights with only taking the .5 mg of klonopin.  I am so used to feeling so bad that I just (again) do not know what is what.

 

The idea that I am feeling so bad because of the possible benzo tolerance withdrawal still makes a lot of since, but now I do not know where to start the taper. Since I have only had .5mg the past 3 nights, it is hard to want to jump back up.  But I am so miserable, both day and night, that if I take the amount of neurontin I would need to take to help me not be in pain...I would be a zombie.  I am almost afraid to ask my doctor(s) what to do because I am afraid they might not agree with my trying to taper off the klonopin. 

 

I (once again) would so much appreciate your help!

 

  Leena

[[bo...]]

HI

There will be a more precise answer,but till then. You are on a lot of different chemicals which makes it rather difficult to identify what is causing what, are you intersted in getting off all of the prescriptions your taking?

If so you need to tackle them one at a time, usually leaving the benzo for last, since you indicate youve taken a benzo for 15 years reducing this too quickly could cause havoc, you might need to reduce this slowly, first feel a comfortable level and dose then reduce.

I'm certainly not a medical person but I thought cymbalta wasnt a stand alone drug. Anyhow hang on you'll be okay.

Bobers

[[ad...]]

Hi Leena, 

 

I agree with Pam (thanks for the thumbs up, BTW, you're too kind) on considering a higher dose.  If you've taken up to 1 mg (or more) a day -- after taking it for so many years, it only takes a week or less for your body to get used to any higher dose.  So to suddenly and consistently try to be at a MUCH lower dose, could easily cause problems.  Evident within 3-4 days and sometimes only evident after 3-4 days (for Klon, I've found). 

 

And from what I've found, opiate w/d's can give restless leg stuff and muscle cramps, but not usually the crazy muscle issues:  burning, strange feelings of twisting, squeezing, what have you.  Also, opiate withdrawals are usually limited for the acute part....3 days is the worst, better through 7 days, and after 10 days home free (usually).  With some residual detox of course.  With Klon?  It's often a crapshoot!!!!!  Even within the parameters of the half-life and such. 

 

Have you read the list of possible withdrawals symptoms for benzos?  Here's a general list (from BB).  But don't let the "most common" and "least common" throw you.  They're all possible.  I've had all of 'em!  They were all "common" for me, unfortunately. 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/benzodiazepine-information/withdrawal-symptoms

 

I  was concerned that .5 mg would be too low for you to start with.    How are you today?

adelia

[[ad...]]

Hi Leena, 

 

Not to worry!  I believe that our prior suggestions are still good.  From your other thread.  By the way, it will be easier to follow what is happening with you if we can read it in one thread.  Pam and others will figure out whether to maybe combine them or something.  So....

 

First, you need to get stabilized on a somewhat comfortable dose of Klon.  That is your first order of business.  After three days on .5 mg, I believe you can still go up to a bit higher dose.  Do others agree with this?  They'll be along shortly to say. 

 

Second, since you decided to stay off the hydrocodone, you might be having a bit more uncomfortableness from that.  We just don't know.  Here's what I'd do.  Start a "meds" and "symptoms" journal, and keep it where you can easily jot down notes in it, like the symptoms you're having, and doses you've taken of all meds.  It's important to keep close track when you're tapering, cuz our minds can play tricks on us. 

 

Third, at the top of each day's page, write Day 1 for whenever you make a cut in something.  Starting with three days ago, you are now at Day 3 for no opiates.  As I mentioned earlier, you can feel pretty confident that when you get to "Day 7", you'll be feeling SO much better, IF any of this is from opiates.  It helped me greatly to keep track of the days.  Instead of feeling like I"d be feeling sick forever. 

 

Keep track of one day at a time.  One step at a time.  One issue at a time...right? 

 

adelia

 

 

[[le...]]

Okay Adelia,

 

Thank you for your reassuring words.  I think that since my husband has left for a week...(which I originally thought would be a good thing so he didn't have to be around me while I am starting this) I just got really panicked, not knowing what to do when I remembered I had taken the other meds.

 

All...based upon my last post, do you think that it would be too much if I started at .5mg in the morning and .5mg at bedtime?  (A total of 1 mg.)  I know .75mg was mentioned as a starting place but with my new info I am wondering if this should be reconsidered?

 

I will start the log in the way you have mentioned.  I have just been writing in my calendar, but your way sounds more organized (something I used to be good at but am not any more).

 

I am going to wait to hear more about what ya'll think about where I should start the klonopin taper.

 

Also, Has anyone ever gotten a REALLY bad cough as a withdrawal symptom?  I have been coughing for over a month.

 

To Bobers:  the meds I have listed as my "signature" are what I am currently taking. (Except I guess I need to edit the Norco).  (Besides Imitrex for migraines and over-the-counter stuff).  I have stopped the Norco.  What I am wanting to taper off of is the klonopin.

 

Thank you for trying to keep me straight on the forum.  I did try for awhile to take part in a pain management forum but it was set up quite differently.  So my "newbie" status will definitely show for a while!  I do appreciate all of your comments and help.

 

~Leena

[[Pa...]]

Hi Leena, I can tell you're stressed and overwhelmed.  Let's try to work on making this as simple as possible okay?  Don't worry about the Lunesta you took in July; you won't have any problems with that.  I'm very familiar with the Z class of drugs and you're going to be fine.  The Restoril you took is long gone as well.  That just leaves the Klonopin!

 

Yes, I think it will be fine to take .50 milligrams of Klonopin am/pm simply because your dosing has been all over the map and we need to get you stabilized.  I think I mentioned that by taking different doses from day to day really gives your body fits, I think Adelia lived that way for awhile.

 

Stay on that dose for about 7 days and then I think that would be a good time to start your taper.  This will be good, because during this time you can work on preparing yourself mentally for your journey.  I've seen others around the forum who are successful have good healthy plans in place.  Exercise routines, good healthy food choices and relaxation techniques all lined up and ready. 

[[le...]]

Thank you, Pam.  I appreciate your comments about the Lunesta and Restoril so much.  I also appreciate that you are there to make this easier for me...more than you know!  I actually had a pretty good day today...got some cleaning done and I don't feel nearly as bad as I did yesterday. Maybe I did still have a little of the opiate to get out of my system yesterday?  I won't try to overthink it...I am just so thankful to have felt productive and that I do not hurt as much! 

[[Js...]]

Hi Leena, sorry it has taken a awhile for me to get back to you, I was away for the weekend.

 

I have not had any experience w/ Macrobid but in speaking with others that I know  who have problems with antibiotics it could indeed have caused some of the problems that you have been experiencing over the past years, as you had suspected. Regarding the Levaquin, be very careful with at and all fluoroquinolone antibiotics, they are nasty pills. If you have a bad reaction to them, they are way worse than any benzo ever dreamed of being. I'm not saying you have reacted to it but just be careful, actually Prof. Ashton speaks about this class of antibiotics in her manual. I would suggest in the future that you take the weakest and most proven antibiotic you need to get the job done, the doc's love to use the "big guns" right out of the gate when sometimes a much milder antibiotic, or no antibiotic at all, would have done the trick. Good luck, my heart goes out to you and I wish that you have better days in the future.

 

Jim

[[le...]]

Thank you, Jim.  I appreciate your knowledge, and it looks like (having been "damaged" by Cipro) you are speaking from experience.  It was a hard call for me to make, using the Levaquin, especially since I have already been having pretty serious neuromuscular issues.  However, I was on a much needed time away with my husband and I just couldn't handle the thought of a UTI in a strange city, and the Levaquin was in my possession...just too much of a temptation.  I am hoping it did not do anything "new" to me.

 

How is your taper coming?  Are you experiencing many symptoms? 

 

~Leena

[[ad...]]

Hi Leena....great news, to hear you had such a good day!  Hold onto those good feelings, for any coming days that may not feel quite as good.  And just know that the good ones will be coming back around. 

 

I remember how my idea of productivity had to go through a radical change.  Sitting outside and listening to the birds actually went on my "to do" list.  Funny huh?  But I wasn't as educated as you, so I didn't taper as slowly as I should have. 

 

So, did you take your .5 mg in the am and pm?  If you're feeling pretty okay on that dose, sounds like you made a good decision. 

 

adelia

[[le...]]

Hello Adelia,

 

Well, since I got the "ok" to take .5mg. in the am AND pm, I decided to wait and see what I felt like when I woke up this morning before I made the decision to go up to that dose.  Surprisingly, I still felt pretty good when I woke up.  So it has been 5 straight days on just the .5 at bedtime and it is really hard for me to want to go up.

 

I think because I have hurt so much for so long (without knowing why) I am ready to start at this point instead of the 1 mg.  I hope that is not foolish. I just want this out of my system.  I think I have sort of figured out how to "tweak" my neurontin to where it is pretty helpful. 

 

Today was probably one of the most productive days I have had since my accident (of course, having everyone out of the house for a day really helped).  I cried only a little...sweated a lot...and was grumpy when my sons came home this afternoon    But other than a headache, I didn't have any debilitating pain...which is REALLY new to me!

 

The hardest time for me is still just before bed, when I lay down.  That is when my pain is worse (or maybe I notice it because I am still).  But during the daytime,yesterday and today, I was so noticeably better.  I had been having a hard time just moving...

 

If I wake up tomorrow feeling really bad, I will reconsider going up.  I would love your opinion.

 

Thank you for your ever cheery encouragement!

 

~Leena

 

 

[[Pa...]]

I'm absolutely thrilled you've held on to the .50!!!   Some of us were talking about the need to go up in dose, and softail had the thought that since this process is so convoluted, it might just pay to hold out to see what the next day brings.  This process is not linear, so I don't know why we still expect it to be.  Even if you did go up in dose Leena, it might not make you feel better!  You're doing the right thing!  We tell people to get stable on a dose, but being stable doesn't exactly mean feeling good.  It's basically what you can stand before you begin your taper or your next cut.  None of this feels good, not until you're healed.

 

I'm relieved to hear you had a productive day, we need those every once in awhile to keep our hope alive.  Wouldn't it be a miracle if you find that your pain is less overall as a result of getting off of the Klonopin?  Wow!

 

 

 

 

 

[[le...]]

Hello Pam,

 

Boy, I am so glad you think it is "okay" that I am staying on the .5 mg.  I just figured if I am already so used to feeling awful...and since I know what withdrawal feels like (having gone through it with the opiates), I could probably stand if things got "bad".  Mine IS a sort of convoluted situation, and so I appreciate all of you working through it with me.

 

The thing that is totally "wonderful" is that just a couple of weeks ago, I would walk in and out of our house (which is now 20 years old) and see all the work that needs to be done (not to mention the cleaning from my being in bed for so long) and I would just "melt down" inside and feel like I would NEVER be able to get anything done again.  I am not exaggerating.  Looking back even years ago, I see this strong steady decline in "ME"...who I was before, etc.  Today, I got outside and sprayed spider webs and yuck off our windows.  THIS IS MAJOR!  I do not know if it is being off opiates for the first time in many years, or if it is starting to get off the Klonopin. I just cannot tell you enough how grateful I am for your forum.

 

I have to tell you this interesting little point that to me illustrates how Providence can use anything (even TV).

My husband and I sat down last week, and it so happened that the final episode from the TV series "House" was being re-run.  We decided to watch it and this particular show was dealing with Dr. House's addiction to vicodin.

At one point, there was mention about "tolerance withdrawal", as he was having all kinds of problems.  That is when I started researching, because I felt like I should already be finished with opiate withdrawal. But I started having the symptoms all over again.  I started thinking about my klonopin, and that is when I found your site.

 

When I saw the symptoms of benzodiazepine withdrawal, I could not believe how they matched the pain I have been having for at least 12 -13 years (I have been on klonopin for 17 years). Plus, many psychological symptoms matched as well (and other weird things...).

 

I know that all will not be perfect when I am finally off, as it is not a perfect world.  But I am SO thankful to be seeing glimmers of hope that I will maybe be "ME" again.  And yes, it would be just amazing (and sort of sad at the same time) if all these years it has been tolerance withdrawal from the klonopin making me feel so bad.

 

Sorry to run on and on...but I am just so grateful.

 

I am going to stay on the .5 for a few more days.  I am hoping I might get in to see our family doctor about my cough and I am going to see if he can either reduce my prescription pills to .5 mg. pills (I have been cutting 1 Mg. in half)  or if he will prescribe valium.  I am not exactly sure what to ask for.  I know ya'll say not everyone can make the switch comfortably...but if I CAN, would you think that is the best thing for me to do?  OR...stay on the klonopin and make it into liquid form?  OR...we do have a compounding pharmacy here in Austin.  I could go that route, if ya'll would help me know what to ask for.

 

Thank you, Pam.  Thank you SO much!

 

~Leena

[[Pa...]]

I agree with your thinking, you feel like crap anyway, so why not?  The prize is at the end and healing, so going up in dose puts that out even further.

 

I watched a movie yesterday about a woman who had Parkinson's, watched the gradual disintegration of her life.  She was able to do less and less and it hurt her so much.  I can see how you've been feeling like this as well.  How could you not when the pain kept getting worse and worse making you a prisoner in your own body.  I'm so happy you've been able to get out a do some things.  I know to someone outside looking in that these things don't seem like much.  But, to you and those of us who understand, it's a miracle! 

 

Hey, television is a huge part of our lives and if it can serve a useful purpose it's even better.  I hope that episode of House spoke to many others who might be suffering as you have.  Imagine the impact if we could see an episode of a popular series about benzodiazepines.  Star power packs them in, sells and shines the spotlight on various social issues.

 

I'm glad you realize your world won't be perfect, but the absence of all of the symptoms the Klonopin has levied on you will make it nearly so.  What I've noticed some people say though, is that they want to feel better than they do, but some were on the drugs for 20 years and in that time they've aged so can't turn back the clock. 

 

I'm going to offer my opinion and it's mine alone about crossing over to Valium.  I don't know if I've seen that much success with that while I've been here on the forum.  I would like to see you get the smaller dose of Klonopin, then perhaps to a simple titration when it's time to get to the really small doses.  You can do this by using the .125mg pill, take the .125mg piece and crush it into a powder, mix it with 1/2 cup of milk and drink 1/2 of that and save the other half for the next day. That way you would be reducing your dosage to .0625. You can then stay at that amount for a week or two and then jump off from there.

 

It's entirely your choice and some others might drop by with their suggestions.  I'm grateful for this forum too, it was my lifeline when I was so desperate and hopeless. 

 

[[ad...]]

Hello Pam,

 

Boy, I am so glad you think it is "okay" that I am staying on the .5 mg.  I just figured if I am already so used to feeling awful...and since I know what withdrawal feels like (having gone through it with the opiates), I could probably stand if things got "bad".  Mine IS a sort of convoluted situation, and so I appreciate all of you working through it with me.

 

The thing that is totally "wonderful" is that just a couple of weeks ago, I would walk in and out of our house (which is now 20 years old) and see all the work that needs to be done (not to mention the cleaning from my being in bed for so long) and I would just "melt down" inside and feel like I would NEVER be able to get anything done again.  I am not exaggerating.  Looking back even years ago, I see this strong steady decline in "ME"...who I was before, etc.  Today, I got outside and sprayed spider webs and yuck off our windows.  THIS IS MAJOR!  I do not know if it is being off opiates for the first time in many years, or if it is starting to get off the Klonopin. I just cannot tell you enough how grateful I am for your forum.

 

I have to tell you this interesting little point that to me illustrates how Providence can use anything (even TV).

My husband and I sat down last week, and it so happened that the final episode from the TV series "House" was being re-run.  We decided to watch it and this particular show was dealing with Dr. House's addiction to vicodin.

At one point, there was mention about "tolerance withdrawal", as he was having all kinds of problems.  That is when I started researching, because I felt like I should already be finished with opiate withdrawal. But I started having the symptoms all over again.  I started thinking about my klonopin, and that is when I found your site.

 

When I saw the symptoms of benzodiazepine withdrawal, I could not believe how they matched the pain I have been having for at least 12 -13 years (I have been on klonopin for 17 years). Plus, many psychological symptoms matched as well (and other weird things...).

 

I know that all will not be perfect when I am finally off, as it is not a perfect world.  But I am SO thankful to be seeing glimmers of hope that I will maybe be "ME" again.  And yes, it would be just amazing (and sort of sad at the same time) if all these years it has been tolerance withdrawal from the klonopin making me feel so bad.

 

Sorry to run on and on...but I am just so grateful.

 

I am going to stay on the .5 for a few more days.  I am hoping I might get in to see our family doctor about my cough and I am going to see if he can either reduce my prescription pills to .5 mg. pills (I have been cutting 1 Mg. in half)  or if he will prescribe valium.  I am not exactly sure what to ask for.  I know ya'll say not everyone can make the switch comfortably...but if I CAN, would you think that is the best thing for me to do?  OR...stay on the klonopin and make it into liquid form?  OR...we do have a compounding pharmacy here in Austin.  I could go that route, if ya'll would help me know what to ask for.

 

Thank you, Pam.  Thank you SO much!

 

~Leena

 

Hi Leena, 

 

Every day that goes by on the .5 mg, and you're actually feeling a bit BETTER, is really really good news.  I agree with Pam, just kinda hang onto that for now.  I think if you were going to get some miserable symptoms being at that dose, they often appear within 3-4 days, in my experience.  But...ya never know.  All we can do is one day at a time, right? 

 

What is important is your new determination to want to get off.  That's a crucial point to be at.  Knowledge is power, isn't it.  And once I discovered how bad off I was due to KLON, I wanted off too.  In the worst way possible. 

 

You know, everything you just wrote -- I could have written!  On and off opioids (and on Klon) for 6 years, my house was a mess.  When I started getting off all the drugs, I started looking around going.....OMG, how did I live with my bathroom so dirty!!!  And that pile of laundry on the bedroom floor?  And on and on....I can't believe how our feelings and aesthetic senses are so dulled by the drugs, when we don't even know they are. 

 

Since I've been off, I've redone my bedroom, the patio, rearranged furniture, keep the house clean (well, sort of)....not to mention caring about my appearance again.  It's a miraculous transformation, and I look forward to seeing what all you'll go through too.  Living life again, yahoo!

 

adelia

p.s.  I'd definitely get the .5 mg pills, if I were you.  And I also agree with Pam, about not switching over to  valium.  There can be some switch-over problems.... and you're doing well now, so why mess up a good thing?  Down the road as you're tapering, there is always that option if things get difficult for some reason, and other options too, like titrating.  These are just my thoughts and opinions. 

[[ad...]]

Hello Adelia,

 

Well, since I got the "ok" to take .5mg. in the am AND pm, I decided to wait and see what I felt like when I woke up this morning before I made the decision to go up to that dose.  Surprisingly, I still felt pretty good when I woke up.  So it has been 5 straight days on just the .5 at bedtime and it is really hard for me to want to go up.

 

I think because I have hurt so much for so long (without knowing why) I am ready to start at this point instead of the 1 mg.  I hope that is not foolish. I just want this out of my system.  I think I have sort of figured out how to "tweak" my neurontin to where it is pretty helpful. 

 

Today was probably one of the most productive days I have had since my accident (of course, having everyone out of the house for a day really helped).  I cried only a little...sweated a lot...and was grumpy when my sons came home this afternoon    But other than a headache, I didn't have any debilitating pain...which is REALLY new to me!

 

The hardest time for me is still just before bed, when I lay down.  That is when my pain is worse (or maybe I notice it because I am still).  But during the daytime,yesterday and today, I was so noticeably better.  I had been having a hard time just moving...

 

If I wake up tomorrow feeling really bad, I will reconsider going up.  I would love your opinion.

 

Thank you for your ever cheery encouragement!

 

~Leena

 

 

 

There's also the option of noticing if you feel bad for a few days (versus feeling bad one day, or one morning), before deciding to go up in dose.  Your'e right Leena, in that being at the .5 mg level will be easier to get down to "0"....as long as you are stable on the starting dose.  And it looks like it's working out.   So just to reiterate....you could very well feel okay for 10 days or more at .5 mg.  And then suddenly for a few days, get more symptoms.  Benzo withdrawals sometimes come in "waves"...and it's just a normal part of the process.  It is definitely not linear.  Unlike opioids that are more predictable in some ways.  Benzo detox seems to have a mind of its own.  But...our minds are stronger, right?  That's how we heal from them.  

 

adelia

[[le...]]

Hello to my Benzo Buddies,

 

Thank you so much for your continuing input.  Pam and Adelia, thank you for the encouragement about staying on .5mg klonopin for a while rather than going back up.  And for your input about staying on the klonopin vs. changing to valium.

 

Though I still had a good day today (withdrawal wise) I woke up with a really bad sore throat and headache.  I started to just try to wait it out, but then thought if it is strep I would probably need an antibiotic...and if it were flu (which is starting to circulate in Austin now) I would like to start Tamiflu to head off the worst of it.  So..I went on in to the clinic and the doctor decided to treat it as early flu, based upon my symptoms.

 

I had gone back to my job last week, and I didn't want to start getting "double" sick, to where I couldn't work.  I have not been able to find sore throat and cough, specifically, as a withdrawal symptom.  Do you know if anyone ever reports these things in their symptoms?

 

Also, I feel really dense having to ask this question (again)...BUT:  If I get .5mg klonopin pills, and go down by 1/4 of a pill every 1-2 weeks, is that ok?  I am still a little unsure about the 10 % figure...exactly what that means.  IF I need to do it in 1/10ths, could I ask someone to tell me exactly what to do?

 

Thanks again for being there!  It cuts down on the anxiety immensely!

 

 

~Leena

[[Th...]]

Also, I feel really dense having to ask this question (again)...BUT:  If I get .5mg klonopin pills, and go down by 1/4 of a pill every 1-2 weeks, is that ok?  I am still a little unsure about the 10 % figure...exactly what that means.  IF I need to do it in 1/10ths, could I ask someone to tell me exactly what to do?

 

There is no way to dry cut pills into 1/10ths. One fourth of a .50mg tablet is .125mg. Most are able to cut by that amount but if w/d symptoms are somewhat intolerable, you could look at using titration or doing a simple titration. You could crush your .125mg tablet into a powder, mix it with 1/2 cup of milk or water and drink half one day and save the other half for the next day thereby making a reduction of only .0625mg. Does this make sense? Just keep asking questions until you understand. 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi Leena, well you don't need the flu on top of the rest of this!  Like T2 says, ask questions when you're not sure.  I used to be so thick, I mean it was difficult to think things through, let alone put my thoughts into action.  Simple projects were sometimes too much for me, but as you heal so will all of your thought processes and memory.

 

Keep doing what you're doing. 

[[le...]]

Theresa and Pam,

 

Thank you.  I think you answered my question that I can TRY to do go down by 1/4s on the .5mg tablet.  The literature makes it sound like I NEED to go down by 1/10s.  I am trying to make this as simple as I can on myself since I am not in the best thinking mode.  LOTS of stress here at home.

 

Have you all been told how wonderful you are today?

 

  Leena

[[Pa...]]

Hi Leena,

 

Yeah, it's our standard line to say 10% but practically thinking it's too difficult to do this when dry cutting the pills.  Of course, it you start to titrate you can do almost anything.

 

I'm sorry for your stress at home, I live alone so when I was suffering I just had my 2 kitties and dog to deal with and they were sweethearts! 

[[le...]]

Thank you, Pam.  I will probably try dry cutting...and if I run into problems I will do the titration thing.

 

And...I have a kitty, too...that laid by me almost every night while I was recuperating from the accident. Gave me huge comfort! Now if sons were only as easy to understand as kitties

 

~Leena

[[le...]]

It is me, Leena...coming back to report that I decided to split my dose of .5mg into a .25morning dose and a .25 bedtime dose, to see if it would make bedtime any better (my thinking being that all of these years that I THINK I have been having tolerance withdrawal, the worst time for me is at night, and that maybe that is because of the klonopin starting to leave my system...just now in writing this I am wondering if that really makes sense?)

 

Anyway, the last time  I wrote I was feeling pretty well.  Today has not been a good day, even though I have stayed on the same TOTAL daily dose.  I wanted to write down what I feel like to see if anyone can identify, so I will know if these are withdrawal symptoms.

 

I MIGHT NOTE THAT I HAVE ALSO TOTALLY STOPPED TAKING THE MUSCLE RELAXER, ZANAFLEX, DURING THIS LAST WEEK. I did not put this drug in my signature, since it isn't supposedly an addictive drug.  If anyone has any input on this, I would really appreciate it!  I stopped taking it because it was prescribed by my old pain clinic, and I ran out of it.  I cannot get scripts from them anymore.

 

OK...what I feel like: My muscles all over feel weak and inwardly "touchy". I have the pit in my stomach feeling (which I used to treat by taking more klonopin, because I thought I was having anxiety). My muscles all over feel the way the pit in my stomach feels. Where I broke my pelvis hurts again, after that pain was mostly gone. I kept trying to go out to walk today, but I had the silly "feeling" that my legs would just stop working and decide not to go, even though my brain was telling them to.  So, I just didn't go.  I have this overall "heebie jeebie" feeling. Plus, my neck and shoulders feel just really bad today...and that cough STILL is just as bad as ever (the urgent care doctor did a chest xray and saw nothing unusual.)

 

I also quit going to the physical therapist who was doing the visceral therapy.  I quit NOT because I didn't think it was helpful but because it was obvious that I was going to have "transference" issues (if that makes sense to anyone).  I am hoping that I am not feeling so bad because I quit that therapy.  There is really not anyone else that I know of here that does that particular therapy though he gave me a name of a WOMAN that does other sorts of massage and PT.

 

Do you think splitting my dose into halves was a mistake?  Or do you think I just hit one of those inevitable "not so good" days? 

 

I think I just need a little bit of encouragement from my benzo buddies.

 

One good thing is that as of today, I am 9 days opiate free!  (But the days seem to just be creeping by...)  And I have SO much that I need to do. 

 

Thanks...

 

Leena

[[Pa...]]

Hi Leena, it's good you checked in.  This is the time when you'll need us the most to reassure you.  You're experiencing withdrawal, these symptoms are all normal and I for one have felt them all. 

 

The heebie jeebies to me felt like an inner trembling, a low hum that never seemed to quit.  Later that morphed into the feeling that my muscles were wet dish rags that someone was twisting and twisting constantly, but we won't get into that now.  Your neck and shoulders are understandable, your brain is sending messages to your central nervous system telling your body to wake up.  Because your brain hasn't done this in a long time, and because your CNS is out of practice too, the messages are coming through a bit too strong.  I've heard some describe the neck and shoulder thing the coat hanger effect.

 

You did not hurt yourself by splitting your dose, I think it makes sense.  The half life for Klonopin is 18 hours, so dosing twice a day is a good steady flow of the drug in your system.

 

I don't know anything about the muscle relaxer, maybe others will have some input.  Just because "they" say it's not addictive doesn't mean it doesn't have the capacity to do harm, so don't take anything for granted. 

 

Congratulations on being opiate free for 9 days, you're on the road to recovery although it sure doesn't feel like it.

 

 

 

 

[[le...]]

Hi Pam.  Thank you so much for your encouragement yesterday. After last night, I can definitely see this is when I am going to need the buddies.  If it were not for the neurontin, I know I would not have slept, but even then it was like I was awake while I was sleeping.  The leg and neck pain are really something else, pretty indescribable (except that I know you know what it is like.  The "wringing" pain is as close as I can find to what it feels like).

 

I think I may have been too optimistic about the neurontin being helpful.  I am wondering now if it is causing me to be even more depressed, if it is causing my cough (listed as a "not very common" side effect) and I know since I started using it during the day, I am like a zombie.  I think I have been a "wienie"....wanting to have SOMETHING for the pain, and that is all I have.  I am going to start giving it up today.  I see my primary care doctor on Monday and he is more understanding than the pain management people.  Maybe he will have some advice, too.  He did prescribe the .5 mg. klonopin, which I will pick up today.

 

I cried most of the day yesterday, and am determined to try not to do that today.  My husband had been gone a week, and I was not a very pleasant person to come home to.  I am getting ready to go walk, to see if I can get my metabolism going.  I am thankful that I can tell you and the other BB's...I am really miserable. 

 

Thank you SO SO much for being there.

 

~Leena :'(