withdrawing from klonopin, norco, AND Z Drugs...(sorry, I didn't know...)

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Hi Leena,

 

Yes I so agree with Pam and ntw.  Withdrawals not only CAN be that bad, they will likely get WORSE.  Sorry Girlfriend.  It happened that way with me.  If you think you're stable at a particular dose, wait three days and see if it gets worse.  Then you'll know how stable you really are.  Once you get off, I'm tellin ya, your body could go through some changes that even the best imagination could not conjure up!!!  From top to bottom.  I try to be as positive and cheerful as humanly possible, but I'm also a realist.  And I know you've been tapering a little fast (for your history).  So...just be prepared, to take a little time off, or whatever you need...ok? 

 

Anyways, you asked about my leg pain.  And...very good question as to why our LEGS hurt, why not our arms?  I don't really know.  But some of the side effects listed on the drug info sheet are muscle pain and leg weakness.  There are receptors all over the body (in addition to the ones Pam so eloquently described).  So all those receptors suffer too, when the benzo is removed.  They have to heal too.

 

Your Indian rope burn is a pretty good description actually!  I'm still trying to think of words to describe it.  Not easy, is it.  My legs ache in a flu-like way.  At their worst.  Almost an internal kind of aching.  When the bad flu-like is not so bad, then there's a constant kind of vibration....that's the hard one to describe.  This is all separate from the burning, which is almost constant but goes in and out now.  Also, when I have the flu aching in my legs, then it's pretty much misery all over my body too.  Although my arms, feet, and head also "burn".  My arms may even ache, but I'm so aware of my legs, I don't notice.  I always thought because I have long legs that I notice them more, but....geez, who knows.  Maybe our legs have more benzo receptors, eh? 

 

Your legs are probably more unsteady now because you're in the thick of tapers.  I wouldn't worry about that part, if I were you.  That could get hugely better in a matter of weeks, maybe less.  Dizziness, wobbliness, instability (some people call it "jelly legs")...all of that is common.  In fact, just know that pretty much any new symptom you get from here on out will likely be a w/d symptom.  Fun, huh? 

 

okay, keep us posted Leena!!! 

 

adelia

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OUCH !!!!  NTW, that sounds so painful!  I will be grateful that all I have had so far with my nose is my sinus's feeling weird!  I hope that symptom goes away very quickly!

 

I am off to drink my "poison"....  .03mg tonight and counting down!

 

~Leena

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Jump off time 1 to 3 days away??? Looks like that to me.  great job.  once off your body can really begin to heal

st

[[le...]]

Yes, Softtail...my plan is to take my last klonopin on Saturday...and on Sunday to be klonopin free!  And then begins a new adventure... Thank you for all your help!

 

~Leena

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Sat, I will raise a drink to your new found freedom.  Just don't be too antsy if you don't feel well right away. Remember after you stop the drug, it still takes awhile to have your body fully dispose of it.  Stay positive , you have accomplished a great deal to get to the jump off point.

st

[[Pa...]]

Hey Leena, I can feel a party coming on!  We love to celebrate when someone becomes benzo free!    I'm looking forward to watching the lessening of the aches and pains you've lived with for far too long.  I know it will take some time to heal once you're off the stuff, but I have no doubt it will happen.  I hope you'll stick around long enough to let us see it! 

[[le...]]

Hi Adelia...somehow I missed your post yesterday!  I know that you are a positive thinker, and that is why I really take to heart when you talk about how bad withdrawals can be.  Actually, most everyone who communicates with me on this forum is incredibly hopeful and positive!  I SO appreciate that!  Thank you for taking the time to describe what your leg pain feels like.  I see that it "morphs"....and I have had all the feelings you describe.  I agree the flulike ache is the worst!  I also get the vibrating feeling, but I only notice it at night.  Everything gets worse for me in bed!  I woke up at 4:00 this morning, and I really was wondering if THIS would be the time that I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.  It hurt so bad just to move, from my hips down.  But once I got started I managed to make it down the stairs.

 

OK...all that said.  I laid in bed this morning (after going back to sleep) and I made the decision that I am going to go ahead and "jump off"  (or, as Shelley R. puts it so eloquently) to commit "klonocide"!  I know I may be asking for more trouble by doing this...but it just "feels" like the right thing to do.  I know I have been tapering rapidly (for my history) and I have already been feeling worse.  But I think I can do this.  Right now I am not having many psychological symptoms, and I am afraid that if I start having them I will be tempted to not quit. So, armed with fairly clear thinking and my Buddies to back me up if I start to feel "faint"...I am taking the plunge!

 

I dumped out the rest of my solution. I am going to throw away my broken cylinder (which anyone would look at and wonder why in the world I kept it!).  When it broke, it left 30 ml. beneath the jagged edge and so I was still able to measure with it.

 

SOOOOOO...here goes!  Thanks to all of you for helping me to get to this point!

 

Love,

Leena

[[Pa...]]

You did it Leena, I'm glad you followed your "feeling", you just made adelia very proud!  Here's the link to your celebration thread, it just gets better from here!! 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=15931.0

[[le...]]

Thank you so much, Pam!

 

:smitten:Leena

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Woweee, Leena!!!  Aren't you amazing?!!! 

Yes, you are.  If anyone can do it, you can.  And if things get too tough, well, we'll all be here to support you through it. 

 

BTW, my legs are worse at night too.  I'm okay watching TV, then my mind is distracted.  But once I get in bed, it's just "me and my legs".  Isn't there a song about that? 

 

Let us know how it goes, k? 

 

adelia

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Congratulations, Leena! Please check in and let me know how you're doing!

 

ginger

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Hi Ginger!  I posted this morning under Gayle's thread (I'm healing and this sux, I think) It will give you an update about me, as I was trying to encourage her.

 

I did not sleep last night, but was able to go to sleep for a few hours this morning.  Just having a LITTLE sleep helps A LOT!  It was so strange, having those sensations last night (again, I described them in my post to Gayle...) where it felt like my body was coming "awake".  My sinuses keep doing that same sort of thing.  They continually feel like they are unstopping, even when they are not stopped up. I wish I could "see" what is actually happening inside.  It is so hard to try to describe it to others.  In a way, I was glad it was happening (the sensations) as I don't think there is any alternative explanation for why it would be happening.  (What I mean is, I couldn't find a way to blame it on my previous "diagnosis" of fibromyalgia, couldn't blame it on diet, etc.)  I guess I am a little like "Doubting Thomas" in the scriptures, who actually had to put his fingers on Jesus' wounds to believe they were real! I have to continually be reminded that I can feel so bad and so weird from withdrawing from a medicine that none of my doctors have ever tried to take me off of.  OR...that they don't think I would have any trouble just quitting. 

 

I am wondering...there must be people that DON'T have trouble quitting.  What do you think the difference is?

 

How are YOU doing, Ginger?

 

Love,

Leena

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Hi Leena:

 

I suspect that eventually they will find slight variations in the structure of some of the dopamine receptors of those of us who have so much trouble with benzos.  It has to be something that isn't very common when you think of how many people take this crap and how few wind up at sites like this.

 

ntw

[[gi...]]

Hi Ginger!  I posted this morning under Gayle's thread (I'm healing and this sux, I think) It will give you an update about me, as I was trying to encourage her.

 

I did not sleep last night, but was able to go to sleep for a few hours this morning.  Just having a LITTLE sleep helps A LOT!  It was so strange, having those sensations last night (again, I described them in my post to Gayle...) where it felt like my body was coming "awake".  My sinuses keep doing that same sort of thing.  They continually feel like they are unstopping, even when they are not stopped up. I wish I could "see" what is actually happening inside.  It is so hard to try to describe it to others.  In a way, I was glad it was happening (the sensations) as I don't think there is any alternative explanation for why it would be happening.  (What I mean is, I couldn't find a way to blame it on my previous "diagnosis" of fibromyalgia, couldn't blame it on diet, etc.)  I guess I am a little like "Doubting Thomas" in the scriptures, who actually had to put his fingers on Jesus' wounds to believe they were real! I have to continually be reminded that I can feel so bad and so weird from withdrawing from a medicine that none of my doctors have ever tried to take me off of.  OR...that they don't think I would have any trouble just quitting. 

 

I am wondering...there must be people that DON'T have trouble quitting.  What do you think the difference is?

 

How are YOU doing, Ginger?

 

Love,

Leena

 

 

Hi Leena,

 

I'm glad you at least got some sleep!!  I think all our bodily sensations are just our brains trying to work around its brain damage and as a result is setting off all kinds of signals and sensations in the process of trying to right itself. I often "feel sand" in my eye and there's nothing there; I also feel "nauseous" and "have anxiety" in my upper back (if you can imagine that!). I also occasionally still feel bugs on my face.  For a while in the beginning I felt like my eyes were pulsing/bulging, but my husband couldn't see anything.  We're just brain damaged and healing, is how I look at it.

 

As for me, I'm doing OK... I'm taking ambien about 3-4 nights a week and maybe get an additional hour with it but then I'm hung over the next morning.  As far as being  post-benzo, at 11 months out when I'm really fatigued I really struggle with depression, and a number of my symptoms flare. But when I've slept relatively well (i.e., 5-6 hours mostly uninterrupted), I feel pretty decent. On average, I'm about 85% back. This g.d. tinnitus is really getting to me, though!! Sometimes it's just overwhelming.  I've had it for 9 months; you think I'd be used to it by now!

 

I think some people are more prone to addiction than others, and some people are more sensitive to drugs than others. I fall in the latter category.

 

I hope you continue on your very positive path!!

 

g

[[Pa...]]

Hi Leena,

 

I love that you're taking a look at the big picture and seeing the part benzo's have played in the disintegration of your quality of life.  I can't wait until you're healed to find out if some of your diagnosis's were incorrect.  If this is the case, then you're going to live happily ever after.

 

I sure hope you keep coming around to let us know how you're doing.  I want to watch the miracle.!!

 

Pam

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Hi Pam,

 

I will definitely be checking back in!  I keep thinking I am going to sit down and update my blog (especially during one of those times I am awake at 3:00 and can't go to sleep!)  I like to keep up with you all, too!  This site has so much on it, I could sit and read forever, I think!

 

Hope you are doing well!

 

Love,

Leena   

[[Pa...]]

Hi Pam,

 

I will definitely be checking back in!  I keep thinking I am going to sit down and update my blog (especially during one of those times I am awake at 3:00 and can't go to sleep!)  I like to keep up with you all, too!  This site has so much on it, I could sit and read forever, I think!

 

Hope you are doing well!

 

Love,

Leena   

 

I'm doing great Leena, but I can relate to that 3:00 am wake up call!  Mine isn't benzo related, I think it's kitty related.    No worries on updating your blog, just a quick hello every once in awhile to keep the Pamster happy!