How many people HAVE to work while tapering

[[...]]

Hi there Bart!

 

You are always the voice of reason regarding doing things slowly.  Every time I think I am going slow enough, I end up having to slow down yet again.  I guess that is just how it will go all the way down. 

 

I have to laugh at myself because when I first joined BB at the end of July, I took one look at your signature at that time and thought to myself "why on earth would anyone want to go that slowly"?  Now of course I get it.  My body is in charge and it does no good what-so-ever to push it faster than it is capable of healing. 

 

Part of my brain is telling me that the longer I take to finish this, the longer it will be before my sleep has a chance to get back to normal.  The other side of my brain is winning thank goodness because I do know that if I rush too much, I will be dealing with a lot more unpleasant side effects than just lack of sleep.

 

Holding until Sunday at least then resuming at .008mg reduction daily.  Maybe I can stay at that rate for a while before having to slow down yet again.

 

Smiff thanks for the encouragement 

[[pe...]]

Thanks Bart and Etown,

I'm appreciative of your good advice. I'm ok today, just tired. I'll keep chipping away at my dose. And Etown, Valium was offered by my doctor early on for my taper. I declined out of fear of the unknown. My doctor thinks I can finish with the klonopin at this point, we have talked about it though. I'll just keep going like this and hope I don't hit a wall. Thanks to you both and happy thanksgiving to all those celebrating.

 

Peace2

[[...]]

Hi there Bart!

 

You are always the voice of reason regarding doing things slowly.  Every time I think I am going slow enough, I end up having to slow down yet again.  I guess that is just how it will go all the way down. 

 

I have to laugh at myself because when I first joined BB at the end of July, I took one look at your signature at that time and thought to myself "why on earth would anyone want to go that slowly"?  Now of course I get it.  My body is in charge and it does no good what-so-ever to push it faster than it is capable of healing. 

 

Part of my brain is telling me that the longer I take to finish this, the longer it will be before my sleep has a chance to get back to normal.  The other side of my brain is winning thank goodness because I do know that if I rush too much, I will be dealing with a lot more unpleasant side effects than just lack of sleep.

 

Holding until Sunday at least then resuming at .008mg reduction daily.  Maybe I can stay at that rate for a while before having to slow down yet again.

 

Smiff thanks for the encouragement 

 

Hi Eliz

Ya, I didn't believe my taper would go that slow either. I have a pretty busy family life and job that does get stressful at times.

Also, I've always felt my healing rate is slower than most people's on BB. Not a good combo for getting off this crap quickly. It did help to quit worrying about the taper length and just do whatever it took to minimize symptoms as long as my month to month doses were moving south. It's now been about 2 months since I finished the taper and I only get symptoms if I do something "bad" to flare them up. I may have been able to taper a little faster the last few months but I remember the survey, I think it was on TRAP, which found the most likely time for taperers to have their worst symptoms was at the end of and just after their tapers were completed. This was not the case for me which I attribute to throwing in some holds the last few months even when I was feeling well. A few weeks ago I did some traveling; motel beds, up early, no exercise, Mexican food late at night and naturally plenty of junk food. After a few days of this I got hit with symptoms that took about a week and half to go away after getting  "back on the wagon". So I'm not completely healed yet even though I feel completely healed so long as I "behave". I do intend to "research" my level of healing over the Holidays with more "bad" behaviors.

Take care. It does get better. You probably will be able to taper faster than I did. Generally speaking, when faced with a choice in benzo tapering, the more conservative route is probably preferable in the long run.

 

Bart

[[et...]]

Hi guys - just pop in for a minute. Vacation is a good time to rest and plan. I have to realize how long I have been on this stuff. All tolled 27.5 mg of Valium and most of it for over 20 years. Mix in about 15 years of steady alcohol consumption and out the other end pops a challenging taper. Brought a few V chips on the trip and haven't used any at all lol. Bart says to "tease" your dose down and tease I'll have to do. Actually, I feel rather blessed to have dumped 17.5mg over the past 23 months so even when I want to hang my head I feel compelled to keep it up. I am facing every day the realization that I am in this for a while yet and some of my best buds will be all done. Kind of a lonely feeling some days but there are no shortage of new BB members in this screwed up world. It is a scaled down vacation but my wife has been great. As long as she has a lounge chair and sune she is happy. I am not thinking about work as such but it is in the back of my head that next week its back to the grind. I wish I could post a picture of my wife out in the Infinity pool overlooking the ocean. Curacao is a beautiful country. going to rent a car and explore tomorrow

Love you guys

etown

[[dr...]]

Etown,

 

Glad your enjoying your vacation!  I'm jealous.

[[...]]

Etown

So happy you are having a good time.  I know you were worried that you would not be able to enjoy this time away from home while tapering.  I am glad you gave in because it sounds like you and your wife are having a much needed break from your very busy lives!  You have made remarkable progress getting rid of almost half of your starting dose and I admire your strength to stick with this for as long as you have.  I think you are probably one of the toughest BB members on here 

 

Hi again Bart,

I don't know how much slower you healed compared to others, I am 14 years your junior and feel like I am healing at a snails pace!  I think it is the inexplicably symptomatic days that happen for no known reason and then just as oddly are followed by perfectly fine days that tend to throw me for a loop.  I put into place a personal rule that I have to see an uptake in symptoms for three days in a row before I make a change and that has served me well.  Also in reading your posts I am not afraid to do a small up-dose on bad days and go right back to my next day's dose with no problems.  I only have to do that rarely thank goodness.  I think the best thing I did for myself was to go back and read through your posts (no I swear I am not a stalker!).  This gave me a feel for little tricks that could make bad days livable and that suffering was not a requirement to do this the right way.  It gave me peace of mind to know how your journey progressed and that if those tricks worked for you they should work for me.  I have no idea how long this will take and I am reminding myself daily that I should not care.

 

Hi Peace,

If you crossed over now it would be to only .39mg of Valium (I think that is right).  I would tend to agree with your doctor since you made it this far already.  I hope that the rest of your taper goes very smoothly and that you can be done with this mess in no more than a couple more months.

 

Take Care

Laura the impatience fighter

[[Co...]]

Good for you etown. You deserve a break. It is good to know that you are having a good time!! Soak up some rays for me.

[[et...]]

It is nice to get a break from work. It is however impossible to forget the reality of life and tapering. Its hard to have a great time with this monkey on my back. My wife is having a ball and its ok for me. My focus is just somewhere else but I'm glad to do this for her. I can't believe how this consumes your life. We are going to drive around the island tomorrow so it will be chill. Did a lot of walking today so I'm a little buzzed tonight but not too bad.Work will get even with me nextweek. Remember those considering the slow symptom based taper, it is the way to go.

etown

[[Mr...]]

Hello Etown ... Your soo right my benzo life is with me every minute Of the day it's like having something stuck in your eye you always always notice 24 hours a day. It is so refreshing to hear some of your posts because the things you say are exactly how I feel. That sure gives me comfort specially on days like these. I was doing so well and offering support lots of other members and being very positive and now it seems like every day is a black dark hole I got to figure out how to get out of it. Well no worries I'll be on here a long long long time for sure and even after I'm done I'm going to stay on to help others the way everyone else's help me so much!!!

Bring back some Sunshine!!! And warm weather if possible lol

 

Mr scared freezing in Ottawa Canada 

[[...]]

Etown - Please try not to think about all things benzo and try to relax and enjoy your trip.  Easier said than done I know.  Hopefully you were tired enough yesterday to sleep like a log. 

 

For all the US working buddies Happy Thanksgiving!

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and can enjoy the time away from work and not think about tapering for a day. 

[[On...]]

Hi everyone; I've missed my B-Buddies. It's good to finally get to read and catch up here. This last week I've driven (well, not really, hubs drove and I 'navigated', lol) a 6 hour drive to see the new place we'll be moving to. Lots and lots to do while there so every moment was busy. I was in a bit of a wave when I had to leave and would have canceled the trip if I could. As it turned out, I'm glad I didn't because the distractions actually helped, especially having the grandkids for a sleepover and helping with a special school function. We'll be living less than a mile from the kids' school, so good opportunities for volunteering! I hadn't been in an elementary school since supervising student teachers years ago and it felt really good! Being so close to the kids and grandkids will be so nice. Now I'm in the car on the way back home and just found out I'll be unexpectedly cooking Thanksgiving at home tomorrow rather than going to friends because my 26 year old daughter wants to bring a 'special' fella home to meet us, something else to be excited about even if it is last minute! I'm tapering at a snail's pace right now anyway, 5% every 3 weeks, so I'm hoping to manage a last minute Thanksgiving brunch and dinner, then a quick pack and move in the next few weeks, then quickie Holiday decorating, then Christmas and grandkids with us while out of school, all while tapering. NEVER would have dreamed this possible just a short time ago.

 

I can't begin to say how thankful I am to my heroes here at BB! When I found BB in late June, I was very near death's door, truly. Etown, bart, cirerecrim, Diaz-Pam, Birdman, and Braban, taught me the tapering skills early on that I needed to survive. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Etown literally saved my life ( at 77 pounds and losing) by introducing me to the SCD diet and generously spending much time coaching me until I could finally eat again. I would not be in this car today, having had a great week and getting ready to move to a new home, if not for the great people here at BB. I won't EVER be forgetting that. Eliz's amazing taper, help and friendship, Mrtmeo's treasure chest of health information, and Mr Scared's determination through a formidable obstacle course have warmed my heart and given me renewed life. This post may sound like a sentimental speech, but having been near death with this crap, this is the first time I have truly believed I might survive. Knowing what all of you have gone through and are still going through is a HUGE inspiration. Thanks so much!

 

I hope those of us 'stateside' have a very happy Thanksgiving and make it through the holiday weekend with ourselves and our tapers intact. And Etown, I cherish the vision of you enjoying the view of your wife lounging in the sun, lol!  If anyone ever deserved a sunny and warm vacation with 'delectables' to delight your senses, it's you, my man!  I hope the drive around the area is lots of fun, too.

 

And, Bart, thanks for checking in here now and then. You are the one I reference most when anyone asks me a question about tapers. I tell them to look up your profile and read your signature history. You're the king lab rat that got out alive and WELL and yet haven't forgotten those of us still stuck in the lab. I really appreciate that. Your advice and your model have me on a good course for the future while my docs would have simply read my obituary long ago. I'm still waiting on my Bart the Man totem, tho.

 

Here's to health and benzo freedom for us all!  ~OneLove~ 

[[...]]

One love

it is so good to hear from you you sound so much better than you did just a few weeks ago and the fact that you're able to do all of these activities is proof that you're improving and that your health is improving too.  Have a happy Thanksgiving and I'll catch up to you after the holiday weekend.

I'm so proud of you

[[et...]]

One you sound so good. You know what to do to keep it there girl. All the action in your life and here you are! I really trust you will go slow enough to get this move behind you before getting too carried away tapering. You're going slow but as Bart says you are heading south and that's all that matters. You have been through some tough times so take time to smell the roses. We all should be reallly careful with Christmas coming soon too. We had a nice ride around Curacao today  and did some hiking around caves and of course beaches. I'll probably pay for it tomorrow but maybe not who knows.

etown

[[Mr...]]

That's so great to hear you are doing so well. So nice you are enjoying things in life and have your confidence. I look forward to reading more of your future sucess always.

 

Mr scared.

 

[[mr...]]

Hi One,

WB!

I hope you are doing really really well.

 

I decided to since my mom has been a little better, that I would do a daily taper using the liquid valium as close to the amount as possible.

She seems to be doing much better with this daily reduction, but it has only been 7 days.

Time will tell, but I would like to see her off this stuff by January or before her bday in Feb.

 

 

 

[[Rr...]]

OneLove, your story is inspiring. If you could be at 'death's door' and come this far, there's hope for all of us.

 

I hope everyone's enjoying the season.

 

It's been a lovely holiday for me. Windows the whole time!

 

We put up our Christmas tree yesterday. The kids decorated. We made some good memories.

 

Wishing health and healing to all of you,

 

Rriver

[[et...]]

Hi everyone - back from vacation. I'm off today putting everything away and resting up. Back to tapering at .013 mg/day. Going to take it slow at first to get through Christmas and take it from there. How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Curacao is a neat island. Had a decent rest and stable. I was very careful with food and tried not to overdue it. Walked a lot every day so kept up on exercise. I'm going to ramp up the exercise starting today. I believe it really helps. Is everyone back to work?

etown

[[...]]

Hi Etown good to have you back.  Glad to see you survived it and had a good time with the wife.

 

I am back to work today but for only 2 1/2 more weeks.  I go on vacation on the 18th and will not return to work until January 6th.  I can't wait!

 

Hope everyone has a good work week.  I started cutting again after holding for 5 days at .009mg this time.  Hopefully I can go at this rate for a while before having to reduce again.

 

[[Rr...]]

Hi Etown,

 

Glad you enjoyed your vacation!

 

Thanksgiving vacation was great. I've been in a window for over a week now! Everybody got to sleep in late (my husband works from home) and the kids were perfect little angels most of the time. It was a week of family harmony. It was a relief not to drive the children to school. They go to different schools that are on different schedules, it was nice not to deal with that. We're looking forward to Christmas break.

 

Rriver 

[[et...]]

River - I couldn't agree more (eliz too) bring on the Christmas break baby!

etown

[[...]]

River you sound like you are feeling pretty good.  That is good to hear.  Just a week or so ago a lot of us were feeling crummy and it sounds like that may have turned around.

 

I know I feel much better since my recent hold.  Let's hope it lasts.

[[dr...]]

Hi all,

 

Hope everyone is doing well. I'm back from my trip to the hot springs with the girl I'm dating. I was feeling anxiety ridden when we left so I asked her to drive which was no problem. I tried stabilizing at 3mg and didn't feel much better but it's tolerable. Had a good trip. Slept a lot, soaked, drank some wine, and got massages. It was nice being away and I had no internet connection which kept me off here. Honestly, the break was nice.  Today I'm exhausted with cog fog. I've started reducing and am at 2.98 today. .02mg per day. Let the descent begin! 

 

Drew

[[Co...]]

*groan*  I have been feeling GOOD. Held this last cut for 6 weeks. Cut to .65 this morning. Worked 11 hrs and am having that deep bone pain that ACHES. I feel like a zombie. I imagine I will be sick within a week or 10 days. Pushing forward.

 

Tired but not sick tonight in Colorado

[[et...]]

cc you decided not to daily taper?

etown

[[Co...]]

etown,

 

Not by choice. I got a scale and the company sent the wrong one. I sent it back and it is stuck in transit b/c of the holiday and Paypal auth to take more $ for shipping. It could be another 7-10 days. I decided to go forward. Bad idea?  When I got up this morning I felt buzzy and somewhat nauseated. That would be really soon after a cut to have sx. Then again, I worked a really long day yesterday and am overtired. The scale issue had been ongoing for a few weeks. I thought I would be daily tapering way before this. When I sent the scale back I held my dose. I had not thought it would get held up.

 

CC