How many people HAVE to work while tapering

[[Sm...]]

Thanks Smiffy! How are you feeling now. Have you gotten over that fluey crap?

 

Yepperooni

Everyone around me is dropping like flies. It is a nasty virus and very virulent. I am however finally free of being sick.

Now I'm just in benzo w/d  . Not overly horrible benzo w/d though. I'm still 80/20 really. In a few days I start in the 3s

[[...]]

Smiff, glad you are feeling ok!

 

Drew, welcome back home!!

 

Welcome Brian!!

 

Hi, DP, Etown, Peace, eliz, Katz, and everyone!!

 

[[et...]]

DP thanks for adding your update to Liz's. It is invaluable information. The melatonin should NOT be a problem. As we age our pineal gland produces less and will continue to produce less. All you are doing is topping up what you don't have. Being "dependant" on melatonin is a welcome thing. It's not a drug.

etown

[[Lo...]]

Glad you're home safe Drew! :-)

 

I'm at work...TGIF!

 

I woke up feeling good this morning...very relaxed and everything. Even my balance although off wasn't as off. Got to work and BOOM...slammed with a wave. The rocky sensation is very disturbing, anxiety is heightened...I don't know where it came from but I feel bad and I am disturbed.

 

I thought I would have a window the way I felt for a couple of hours...I guess not  :'(

[[ly...]]

Shared from another Buddie who just jumped.

Take what you want and leave the rest

etown

 

Hey folks. I wanted to celebrate being off of benzos but also wanted to offer some thoughts and advice for people still tapering and suffering.  Not sure exactly which forum to put it in so I'm just doing it here in the celebrations.

 

Exactly one year ago today, I started my actual taper.  Prior to that I'd gone up and down in dosage on Ativan and had really set myself up for a rough ride (kindling and all that).  June 24th, 2013, I started my Valium taper from 15 mg.  I went too fast and ended up in the hospital a few times, and had to take a disability leave from work to focus on the process.  I couldn't leave my couch for days at a time and didn't leave my apartment for so long (over a month) that my car battery died from not being run/charged.  To say we suffer from benzos is putting it very lightly, of course, but here we are.  Prior to being on a benzo, I didn't have anxiety and certainly hadn't ever suffered from a panic attack, but during withdrawals, my heart would race constantly to the point I thought I was going to have a heart attack, brutal anxiety ruled my every waking moment, panic attacks became a common thing, as well as tremors, my ears ringing, cog-fog so bad I couldn't remember my number, address, my age at one point, and  depersonalization/derealization were also commonplace, etc.

 

Last week I took my last dose.  I'd been drawing my reductions out but have honestly felt pretty good for a couple of months now.  I'm not 100% but I'm close enough that it's fine and bearable, and I know it's just a matter of time, now.  Taking my last pill was a formality as my dosage was so low (0.5 mg) that I didn't think it was doing much anyway.

 

 

I promised myself that if I made it I'd  take some time to write down some of the things that really turned this around for me, as I was very stagnant in my progress for a long time and felt like I wasn't going to get any better.  Certain things did really help, though  They helped me immeasurably and they may help you, too.  As always, none of this is medical advice - talk to your doctor whenever you need to.  That's what they're there for.

 

 

Some tips and advice based on my journey:

 

1) Understand the difference between an addiction and dependence.  To me, addictions are behavioral - we feel a certain way so we do a certain thing.  Dependence, of course, is our body's reliance upon something to function normally.  All of us become dependent on benzos (very quickly).  The addiction is the thought process of, "I feel <X>, so I should do/take <Y>."  I think if you're here seeking help, you've probably already broken a conscious addiction to the medication and are simply still dependent.  Always keep that in mind - it's an important first step that we often ignore.

 

2) Don't replace the benzo addiction with another one.  When I first started tapering, I felt so horrible that I was willing to do or try anything to feel better.  I smoked marijuana for the first time in my life, I took a suite of vitamins and herbs, iced my head constantly, etc. - nothing was too crazy if I thought it might help.  But the reality is, none of it did.  I don't think anything but time can actually heal this, and it's important not to replace one addiction for another.  If your reflex is still, "I feel like crap from benzo withdrawals, so I should take <Y>," even if Y is a vitamin or supplement, you're still in the wrong mindset.  You still think consumption of things is what you need when the reality is, you probably don't.

 

Of course, go to your doctor and get a physical to make sure you're actually good to go, but if they say you're healthy as they did with me, then relax.  Don't pound supplements and all that other junk - at best, you're probably doing nothing for yourself and at worse, you're putting strain on your kidneys and such.  As soon as I cut all of that out, I noticed I felt better and just stuck with waiting and trying to relax.  I'll go into this more later, but the more we constantly think about and try to fix this situation, the harder it is to just let time flow.

 

3) Take a vacation from WebMD or other similar information (even this site, after you've read it all).  I say that because after you've read Ashton's manual and after you've read the posts here and after you've read everything there is about benzos or side effects or symptoms, it should become clear that the withdrawals are simply terrible, but that you're fine.  Stop stressing yourself out by re-reading everything you already know.  Being addicted to benzos is, with any luck, the worst thing any of us will go through.  Time is the only thing that can truly fix it, so give your mind and your emotions a rest and don't keep reading this stuff after you've gotten a grasp of your situation

 

4) Do some light exercise.  I know people will say this and I know as well as anyone that the last thing you want to do while withdrawing is exercise, but let me be clear: light exercise means as little as just going for a walk.  That's what I did.  And at first, I could only walk for 5 minutes before I'd get too dizzy, and that dizziness would launch me into a panic attack that I was going to pass out or fall down and hurt myself, so I'd have to retreat to my apartment.  But 5 minutes became 10 minutes, 10 became 15 and so on until I could do multiple 30-45 minute walks per day without any problem.

 

And more than anything else I did, going for walks made me feel a significant improvement.  At first it was just mental, that I could finally leave my apartment and not feel so physically disabled, but in a short amount of time the physical rewards of exercising also became apparent.  I just flat-out felt better, and better.  Now I do cardio and lift weights and will keep pushing until I feel 100% normal again.  It's not far off, now.

 

5) GO. SLOW.  The actual goal we have to focus on is feeling normal, not getting off of benzos.  Yes, getting off of benzos needs to happen but the real goal is to get our lives back and feel healthy again.  Getting off of benzos is a part of that, but you can also feel healthy and normal while still taking them as your dosage gets low.  That's where I ended up and after going too fast and really bottoming-out a few times, I took my doctor's advice and just slowed down.  It was still really rough but it was bearable and, eventually, I got to where I am.  Go slow, focus on just being patient and relaxing.  Again, time is all that can fix this as our body re-balances its chemistry.

 

6) Forgive yourself.  If you're anything like me, you feel so weak and so ashamed.  I'd never even smoked marijuana before this, so to be hooked on a powerful drug made me feel like a junkie.  But, you're not.  You're here, you're doing what you need to do - you're dependent, not addicted.  Again, keep that in mind and forgive yourself.  I've come out the other side honestly grateful to have suffered and been reborn.  When I couldn't do anything, I realized how little I'd been doing with myself.  I wasn't living, and now, still at a young age, I feel like I have the perspective that's often only afforded to the elderly who look back on their lives and wish they'd done more.  I have that now and imagine most of you will, too.

 

7) Lastly, stop thinking about tapering.  Stop thinking about the drug entirely. As I've said a few times, time is all that can really heal this so stop worrying about how much you are taking, how fast you are or aren't going.  Just make cuts, focus on feeling normal, and when you feel alright, do another cut.  Slow and steady.  The sooner you stop worrying about the specifics of how much you take or how fast you're going, the sooner it'll just happen.  Focus on living your life.  Go for walks, go see people, go see a movie - anything you can tolerate, just do it.  Try to keep your focus on external stimuli like the cars going by, the wind in the trees, etc.  The more you focus externally and the more you ignore the fact that you're on this journey, the easier it is to stop thinking about your symptoms and just let time flow.

 

 

Hopefully something in here will help someone.  I've been able to divert a few friends when they've been given this medication by giving them my story and plan to help anyone, anywhere, anytime for the rest of my life avoid this nightmare.

 

I wish all of you the best as you work your way down to 0 and would be happy to talk here or in PM or even by email or text to anyone that wants to talk.  I wouldn't wish this upon anybody so just know that I'm here for anyone who needs it.  I look forward to linking back to this post in 2 months when I post in the success story forum

 

Etown, thank you so very much for posting this. It was very well written and a help. They 7 points may be simple to some as they have been doing this awhile, but for me they are just what I needed to hear.  Thank you, Lynn

 

 

[Guest [in...]]

Glad you're home safe Drew! :-)

 

I'm at work...TGIF!

 

I woke up feeling good this morning...very relaxed and everything. Even my balance although off wasn't as off. Got to work and BOOM...slammed with a wave. The rocky sensation is very disturbing, anxiety is heightened...I don't know where it came from but I feel bad and I am disturbed.

 

I thought I would have a window the way I felt for a couple of hours...I guess not  :'(

 

Sorry LovingMother It may just go away b4 u know it, I am hoping this for u. 

[[ly...]]

I have a question. I know it's been discussed, but why stay away from gluten during W/D?

Thanks,

Lynn

[Guest [in...]]

Shared from another Buddie who just jumped.

Take what you want and leave the rest

etown

 

 

 

Etown, thank you so very much for posting this. It was very well written and a help. They 7 points may be simple to some as they have been doing this awhile, but for me they are just what I needed to hear.  Thank you, Lynn

 

Hi Lynnie How have u been, dear? Yes, what E has posted helped me alot too. 

[[or...]]

Thanks DP. Glad to know how it went. As for sleep, a member suggested Calms Forte and I was thinking about giving it a try as my sleep seems a little iffy these days. I believe my melatonin is still working for me but I think I need a boost.

 

Hope you continue to do well. Please come back and let us know.

 

Okatz

[Guest [in...]]

I have a question. I know it's been discussed, but why stay away from gluten during W/D?

Thanks,

Lynn

 

I too, have wondered this? My only taboo has been alcohol.

[[Lo...]]

I have a question. I know it's been discussed, but why stay away from gluten during W/D?

Thanks,

Lynn

 

I too, have wondered this? My only taboo has been alcohol.

 

Gluten is very inflammatory so it inflames the system. Hence why we need to stay away from it.

[[...]]

LM, so sorry you went into a wave! I hope it burns off quickly and you find relief!!

 

[[Lo...]]

This is also what I picked up on WebMD, "In fact, it isn’t. For people with celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is essential. But for others, "unless people are very careful, a gluten-free diet can lack vitamins, minerals, and fiber," says Green."

 

Folks in benzo W/D are sensitive to vitamins and some minerals too.

 

I learned a lot about it since I had to go gluten free due to Lyme Disease. The bacteria fed off of it and it is inflammatory so I had to replace the nutrients with supplements. But now I am off certain supplements (like all of the B vitamins) due to W/D.

 

I hope this helps. 

[[ly...]]

This is also what I picked up on WebMD, "In fact, it isn’t. For people with celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is essential. But for others, "unless people are very careful, a gluten-free diet can lack vitamins, minerals, and fiber," says Green."

 

Folks in benzo W/D are sensitive to vitamins and some minerals too.

 

I learned a lot about it since I had to go gluten free due to Lyme Disease. The bacteria fed off of it and it is inflammatory so I had to replace the nutrients with supplements. But now I am off certain supplements (like all of the B vitamins) due to W/D.

 

I hope this helps. 

 

Thank you! 

[[Lo...]]

You're welcome!

[[Ki...]]

Lynnie - I don't think you HAVE to stay away from gluten. I think people who choose to, for various reasons, are happy with the results. I am gluten and wheat free, as well as sugar free and dairy free. I don't take supplements. I try and get all my nutrients through food, which is easier for the body to absorb. But you do have to be cautious that you are getting everything you need through your diet. I keep a food log (an app called MyNetDiary) and it tracks the food you eat with the added bonus if the % of all vitamins, minerals, protein and fibre that I consume. It's customizable so I home in on what's important. I'm getting bloodwork done today because I fear I'm still quite low in iron and B6.

[[Lo...]]

Everyone pray for me. Human Resources is at it again. I submitted my time sheet. They are trying to say I don't have leave left when in my leave bank it shows 8 hours!

 

There is a woman in that dept that does not like me...she is cold and rude. She hates sick people...period. May God have mercy on her!

 

I just want to make it through the work day...sxs are peaking and I can't take too much more  :'(

[[Sa...]]

Everyone pray for me. Human Resources is at it again. I submitted my time sheet. They are trying to say I don't have leave left when in my leave bank it shows 8 hours!

 

There is a woman in that dept that does not like me...she is cold and rude. She hates sick people...period. May God have mercy on her!

 

I just want to make it through the work day...sxs are peaking and I can't take too much more  :'(

 

I hope they get it straightened out LM, just get through the day the best you can, TGIF, right? Don't let this woman get to you, ok? 

 

Saga

[[Lo...]]

 

I hope they get it straightened out LM, just get through the day the best you can, TGIF, right? Don't let this woman get to you, ok? 

 

Saga

 

Thank you...it's been rough. Once I got sick in 2012 with Lyme Disease folks showed their true colors...why would they try and mess with my paycheck??? Just cruel. I'm hanging in there...just 2.5 hours to go!

[[...]]

Sorry LF! Praying for you!

 

[[Lo...]]

Thanks GMIT! Things will get better...I pray I get better soon. I miss my outlets like dance, running, performing and what not. Can't do that with head issues and poor balance. Still have some work to do on my health too beside benzo W/D. But this job is not helping with the healing process. They will turn on you in a minute!  :'(

[[Ju...]]

Hi team, I'm poking my head out of the bunker I have been in for two weeks. Looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with ssri withdrawal  I know there are other sites out there about this, but I don't trust them- I trust you guys. I did a pretty careful lexapro taper and was fine for six weeks then suddenly insomnia, panic attacks, dizziness and no appetite. I've had a really hard time thinking anything coherent (I work from home but I still have to think!) and just picking up the kids from camp has been excruciating. I was already one week into tgis experience before starting the valium taper with a teeny 4% cut- wanted to follow drew's idea of two fingers to fate! Anyone else have this lexapro or other ssri withdrawal bounce back? I'm riding it out no matter what because I have learned my lesson that meds don't help me but seriously- this is hard to cope with. Any hope?

[[...]]

Hello all:

 

It's been 6 weeks since I lowered from .5mg K daily to .375mg K daily.  I have to say I have mostly good days the last week.  Planning on attempting to lower from .375mg K daily to .25mg K daily in about 2 weeks (depending on how I'm feeling).

 

Hope all are well.

 

 

Brian

 

Hi Brian,

You are a brave Klonopin taperer I see!

 

I hope you like this thread as much as I have over the last year!

[[...]]

Afternoon Workers,

Here is my next update:

 

- Three days before my last actual cut I started feeling the tightness in the spot on my back just above my shoulder blades.  It was very minor and mostly just an annoyance like a sore muscle would be.

Day 1 of Vapor Caper - tightness there, no worse no better, sleep not perfect but not worse

Day 2 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 3 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 4 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 5 of Vapor Caper - tightness did not start until late in the day and only lasted a little while.  sleep was poor but probably had more to do with the thunderstorm directly overhead and my daughters cat wailing in the hallway being a Skeerdy Kat, and not benzo withdrawal.

Day 6 of Vapor Caper - so far, so good

 

DP very interesting about bananas having melatonin.  I started making a breakfast shake about two weeks ago instead of my usual eggs and sausage and it has, among other things, a whole banana in it.  My sleep started improving around the same time and I am wondering if the potassium and melatonin in the banana has something to do with that.  Things that make you go ...hmmmmm!  I also ate the tart cherries last fall every day for weeks but at that time I was so messed up by the progesterone part of my hrt, I probably would not have slept with an elephant tranquilizer. 

[[dr...]]

Hi all....

 

Last night was a tough one. My symptoms kept ramping up to where it was like my acute stint about a month ago. My sleep has been terrible post jump and it sucks cause I never had bad sleep problems I during my taper.  It as the perfect storm to get me into that state. 3-4 hours of sleep, very little to eat in 15 hours( the meal I bought in the airport to bring on the plane was expired) , and traveling.  It was a constant of cement head, crazy brain, fear, racing heart, and burning sensations.  No matter how many times I kept saying it was just my symptoms of healing it scared me. I took a small dose of beta blocker which really didn't do much. 

With my sleep patterns all screwed up with the time difference I decided to just stay in bed all day today. Reading and napping.  I can tell I've had a reduction in symptoms as I'm just going in and out of waves every few hours like I was before. I just feel out of whack but not in that crazy acute shit. I never want to go back there.  I'm hoping that's the worst of it and if it is that would be progress.

I also caught and stopped myself from what iffing.  When I was miserable last night every scenario popped in my head. What if I can't work Monday, pack my house, etc... I change hour to hour so why predict how I will feel later in the day.  Ok...my ramblings are done.