How many people HAVE to work while tapering

[[Ki...]]

Peace....my friend. Of course you're welcome here  I'm really happy for you to be getting back to work, it's another step towards recovery. You are doing so great. Are the supplements still helping? Are you finding relief?

[[pe...]]

Hi Saga- Thanks for the welcome. That's kind of the thing, I am no shiny bright post taper rock star. Many of my symptoms have lightened, but the ones I still have are very difficult. Cognitive fog is the worst. So, hopefully I'll have something positive to add along the way. But limp, limp. That's me.

 

Hi Kiddo!! Work is like this big scary boogeyman waving its arms at me. I barely have the attention span to hang out with my own kids, let alone 30 kids that I have to get to know and take care of. Needy humans! Supplements are not going to make my recovery. I try things. I like to tinker, but it all comes down to time. I'm trying to stick with a pretty simple supplement plan. I just added Gingko back a few days ago. That tends to be a powerful one for me and wanted to give it another run before heading back to work. How are you?

 

[[Lo...]]

Hi Saga- Thanks for the welcome. That's kind of the thing, I am no shiny bright post taper rock star. Many of my symptoms have lightened, but the ones I still have are very difficult. Cognitive fog is the worst. So, hopefully I'll have something positive to add along the way. But limp, limp. That's me.

 

Hi Kiddo!! Work is like this big scary boogeyman waving its arms at me. I barely have the attention span to hang out with my own kids, let alone 30 kids that I have to get to know and take care of. Needy humans! Supplements are not going to make my recovery. I try things. I like to tinker, but it all comes down to time. I'm trying to stick with a pretty simple supplement plan. I just added Gingko back a few days ago. That tends to be a powerful one for me and wanted to give it another run before heading back to work. How are you?

 

Hi Peace! Welcome! I'm almost 3 months out but like you I needed to talk to people who are working through this...it's been hard but I am getting there. Some days feels like that movie, "Groundhog Day." Sigh....

 

If the head stuff would go (pressure), balance issues and some anxiety I would feel so much better!

 

Praying for ya! You will do fine at work! 

[[et...]]

Peace - you already know what I think.

Stick around

etown

[[...]]

Hi workers. I so admire your thread, the people here, the tone, the problem solving. I'm post taper by 6 months and headed back to work in a few weeks. Tapering is not my area, managed my own by limping along.  So, I can't be of much help there. But I do want to be among workers. Do you think I could hang here, as a non tapering worker in recovery, or might it be helpful to start a new thread for workers post taper? I don't know what makes the most sense.

 

Best to you all! I think you're all amazing.

Peace2

 

Oh Peace I was hoping you would join us!  Please hang out and join the discussion.  These are the most supportive folks on the entire forum in my opinion.  When do you start your next round of Ginko?

[[...]]

JJ I was worried that your absence meant something bad.  I hope you start to turn a corner very soon 

[[...]]

Hi Workers,

I had a buddy who is above 5 mg contact me asking for detailed progress of my vapor caper.  This person wants to know if my experience with the very slow taper once getting below 1mg, the even slower progress below .1mg and the sucking fume period after the last cut will help them decide between jumping and cutting to zero.

 

I am not sure anyone here is interested or not but if it will help anyone who is still undecided then maybe it is worthwhile putting it down.  So...here goes.

 

I spent the last months from .7mg to .05mg cutting at .005mg daily.  When I got to .4 mg I could no longer cut every single day and would have to throw in some holds every so often, listening to my body and using the first side effect that always shows up as my barometer.  When I got to .1 mg I was actually doing something much closer to cut and hold because I would cut for two days and then hold for one or two days.  My last milliliter which would have been 5 cuts at .005 ended up being 10 cuts at .0025 reading between the graduations.  It took me about 45 days to lose the last .1 mg this way. 

 

All along during my taper I used a spoon to stir up my suspension, would lick the spoon and put it into a small glass of water.  I would then pull up my dose and would lick the outside of the syringe, put the syringe into the glass of water.  I would stir the spoon around and pull up and squish out water from the syringe getting every last molocule of valium off the utensiles and then drink the glass of water (OCD you ask?  Yes and proud of it!).  I tell you this part only because it is how I am now doing the vapor caper.  I am stirring the suspension with the spoon, licking the spoon, then stirring my syringe into the suspension, licking it off, then doing the water glass thing.  Today I will stop stirring the syringe and will continue the rest of the week with just the spoon. 

So here is how I am feeling during all of this.

 

- Three days before my last actual cut I started feeling the tightness in the spot on my back just above my shoulder blades.  It was very minor and mostly just an annoyance like a sore muscle would be.

 

Day 1 of Vapor Caper - tightness there, no worse no better, sleep not perfect but not worse

Day 2 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 3 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 4 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 5 of Vapor Caper - am free of the annoying tightness so far

 

Stay tuned....

 

[[Sm...]]

Peace you're a teacher too? Did I know that? I should have known that. Maybe I did and we chalk it up to benzobrain.

What age are they?

Teaching is a tough gig in withdrawal. I've had cog fog and a panic attack in front of class. Fortunately that particular class was easy. I'd hate to have that with some of the more combative 14-15 year olds. Still, it can be done.

I'm here if you want to do particular teaching related pissing and moaning

I'm also always curious on supps. What ya taking Peace? What does it feel like Gingko do for you?

 

Hi Workers

 

Yesterday was first day back at work post holidays. It was good. I had the teaching thing in the bag.

[[Sm...]]

Thanks Lizzy! I am also very interested in how you and DP go. We've only known one person to step off 'healed' really, so hearing your experiences is invaluable.

 

You are doing so good 

[[jj...]]

Liz, thanks so much for the update. It's really helpful. I hope you make a regular habit of it. Sounds like the vapor caper has been a success so far. Very encouraging.

 

Peace, welcome aboard.

[[pe...]]

The hospitality is overwhelming. I visited the southern United States earlier this summer and there were so many friendly smiles and warm welcomes. Are y'all the south of bb? 

 

Eliz- So glad to hear of your great success. I hope all continues to go well. It is no easy feat to exercise such patience throughout a taper, but it sure does seem to pay off!

 

Smiff- I teach 6-9 year olds, itty bitty needy sponges. I usually love them, the last two years I've been a zombie lady and it makes things very hard. I was hoping to go back in the fall feeling wide eyed and alive. Not to be unless something dramatic happens in the next few weeks. Glad to hear your return was smooth. It sounds like you've got this.

 

Peace2

 

[[Sm...]]

The hospitality is overwhelming. I visited the southern United States earlier this summer and there were so many friendly smiles and warm welcomes. Are y'all the south of bb? 

 

Eliz- So glad to hear of your great success. I hope all continues to go well. It is no easy feat to exercise such patience throughout a taper, but it sure does seem to pay off!

 

Smiff- I teach 6-9 year olds, itty bitty needy sponges. I usually love them, the last two years I've been a zombie lady and it makes things very hard. I was hoping to go back in the fall feeling wide eyed and alive. Not to be unless something dramatic happens in the next few weeks. Glad to hear your return was smooth. It sounds like you've got this.

 

Peace2

 

Ah Peace I got nothin. I've got 4mg (a looongg way) to go.

 

At least 6-9 year olds aren't too rough/combative. I guess yea it is just keeping them settled and in a routine.

 

You'll probably find it better than you fear it will be. Are you going back part time?

[[pe...]]

Full time, Smiff. There is a whole lot of "What the Hell was I thinking?!?" Going on right now. And I was thinking I'd be better by now. Silly me.

 

Smiff and Eliz, I tapered back on to Gingko 3 days ago. I took it off and on at the end of my taper and post. There's a whole thread on it, recommendations to cycle off and on. Some people claim it's healed them, others claim it causes waves, and some see no change at all. I'm hoping for healing, of course. I also take a couple things recommended by the integrative psychiatrist I see. I take a little St. John's Wort, a combination product called cerevive. Right before my monthly Funtime I add evening primrose and b6. Sometimes I dabble with fish oil, vitamin d, probiotics. But mostly it comes down to time.

 

I'm curious about what others find when they complete taper. If people try supplements or don't. I'm glad to be here.

 

[[et...]]

Hi Workers,

I had a buddy who is above 5 mg contact me asking for detailed progress of my vapor caper.  This person wants to know if my experience with the very slow taper once getting below 1mg, the even slower progress below .1mg and the sucking fume period after the last cut will help them decide between jumping and cutting to zero.

 

I am not sure anyone here is interested or not but if it will help anyone who is still undecided then maybe it is worthwhile putting it down.  So...here goes.

 

I spent the last months from .7mg to .05mg cutting at .005mg daily.  When I got to .4 mg I could no longer cut every single day and would have to throw in some holds every so often, listening to my body and using the first side effect that always shows up as my barometer.  When I got to .1 mg I was actually doing something much closer to cut and hold because I would cut for two days and then hold for one or two days.  My last milliliter which would have been 5 cuts at .005 ended up being 10 cuts at .0025 reading between the graduations.  It took me about 45 days to lose the last .1 mg this way. 

 

All along during my taper I used a spoon to stir up my suspension, would lick the spoon and put it into a small glass of water.  I would then pull up my dose and would lick the outside of the syringe, put the syringe into the glass of water.  I would stir the spoon around and pull up and squish out water from the syringe getting every last molocule of valium off the utensiles and then drink the glass of water (OCD you ask?  Yes and proud of it!).  I tell you this part only because it is how I am now doing the vapor caper.  I am stirring the suspension with the spoon, licking the spoon, then stirring my syringe into the suspension, licking it off, then doing the water glass thing.  Today I will stop stirring the syringe and will continue the rest of the week with just the spoon. 

So here is how I am feeling during all of this.

 

- Three days before my last actual cut I started feeling the tightness in the spot on my back just above my shoulder blades.  It was very minor and mostly just an annoyance like a sore muscle would be.

 

Day 1 of Vapor Caper - tightness there, no worse no better, sleep not perfect but not worse

Day 2 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 3 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 4 of Vapor Caper - no change

Day 5 of Vapor Caper - am free of the annoying tightness so far

 

Stay tuned....

 

Liz this is the biggest gift you can give us.

Thanks

etown

[[...]]

Full time, Smiff. There is a whole lot of "What the Hell was I thinking?!?" Going on right now. And I was thinking I'd be better by now. Silly me.

 

Smiff and Eliz, I tapered back on to Gingko 3 days ago. I took it off and on at the end of my taper and post. There's a whole thread on it, recommendations to cycle off and on. Some people claim it's healed them, others claim it causes waves, and some see no change at all. I'm hoping for healing, of course. I also take a couple things recommended by the integrative psychiatrist I see. I take a little St. John's Wort, a combination product called cerevive. Right before my monthly Funtime I add evening primrose and b6. Sometimes I dabble with fish oil, vitamin d, probiotics. But mostly it comes down to time.

 

I'm curious about what others find when they complete taper. If people try supplements or don't. I'm glad to be here.

 

Peace I tried a variety of supplements during the early part of my taper.  Some seemed to help initially but at some point stopped having any effect.  Some did nothing, and others made things worse.  The only thing I continued taking daily is Natural Calm Magnesium.  When I have completely cleared all valium from my system I plan on adding coconut oil to my morning breakfast shake but will not do it until then because it clears the liver from my understanding. 

 

I want to get back on my multi-vitamins I order from a company in New Zealand because they are made for women of my age and I always felt good on them, but I could not take them during my taper as they revved me up something fierce.

 

How do you sleep now that you are six months post taper?  Do you need sleep aids and if so what ones do you use?

[[pe...]]

Eliz- the sleep question is a good one. It is hugely what got me into this mess. My youngest child would not sleep and so I didn't either for almost a year and a half! Then migraine, bad reaction to migraine med in the ER, followed by SSRI's to calm bad reaction to migraine med, followed by benzos to calm bad reaction to SSRIs. Seriously. So, for awhile during my taper I took 1mg Remeron. It made me feel like crap. I tried melatonin. It worked ok just made me feel like crap. At some point I was just tired of taking things so I started drinking warm milk before bed and noticed a difference. Then I decided to go dairy free. I started taking a homeopathic by hylands called Calm 'n Restful 4 kids. It has chamomile in it and some other things. It's all I take and it works like a charm. I also do alternate nostril breathing right before bed. I sleep for 8 hours (or when awoken by my children) and I have great dreams. It's my best part of the day.

 

 

[[...]]

Eliz- the sleep question is a good one. It is hugely what got me into this mess. My youngest child would not sleep and so I didn't either for almost a year and a half! Then migraine, bad reaction to migraine med in the ER, followed by SSRI's to calm bad reaction to migraine med, followed by benzos to calm bad reaction to SSRIs. Seriously. So, for awhile during my taper I took 1mg Remeron. It made me feel like crap. I tried melatonin. It worked ok just made me feel like crap. At some point I was just tired of taking things so I started drinking warm milk before bed and noticed a difference. Then I decided to go dairy free. I started taking a homeopathic by hylands called Calm 'n Restful 4 kids. It has chamomile in it and some other things. It's all I take and it works like a charm. I also do alternate nostril breathing right before bed. I sleep for 8 hours (or when awoken by my children) and I have great dreams. It's my best part of the day.

 

eight hours - I am jealous!  But what a nightmare that got you on benzos!  I get so angry when I read stories like this.  It seems so many doctors want to chase side effects with more and more drugs!  I need to stop before it turns in to a full fledged rant but I am happy to read that sleep is not one of the left over side effects you are having to deal with.  I actually tried the Hylands Calm sleep aid but it was very early on in my taper when things were pretty bad.  I may have to give it another try!

 

[[or...]]

Thanks eliz. It's good to know just how things went for you.

 

I'm just checking in at the end of a long day. I had a client meeting and a long Board meeting and didn't get benzo flu or anything weird. I guess I'm still in my window. But I am totally fried, though. Whipped. Maybe that means I'll sleep well tonight? Ha. We'll see.

 

Talk to you all later. Have a good night.

 

Okatz

[[pe...]]

Eliz - There's a kids version and an adult version of the hylands calm sleep aid. I can't take the adult version, it revs me up. I can take the kids version. How very sensitive, you might say  . Hope sleep comes together for you soon.

 

[[br...]]

Hello all:

 

It's been 6 weeks since I lowered from .5mg K daily to .375mg K daily.  I have to say I have mostly good days the last week.  Planning on attempting to lower from .375mg K daily to .25mg K daily in about 2 weeks (depending on how I'm feeling).

 

Hope all are well.

 

 

Brian

[[et...]]

Brian - welcome to the working ship! Hope you stick around. This thread is pretty no nonsense as we have lots of busy people who taper.

Hope you post more and we get to know you better

etown

[[dr...]]

I'm back on the mainland. Fun trip but happy to be home. The trip home wasn't easy as I had lots if symptoms. Flying in the metal tune of death wasn't that bad. When I was feeling a bit panicky a lady fainted on the plane. They announced for drs.  That's when I was able to reframe everything as scary and uncomfortable but not dangerous. The bad feeling of healing! 

She was ok and now I'm going home to chill.

 

Welcome to the new peeps and I'll catch up later.

[[Di...]]

Well, it’s one week down of my GVC (Great Vapor Caper), and seeing as Lizzy has been giving you updates, I thought I should too. Not that there’s really that much to tell you. Everything is still pretty much the same, which I suppose is a good thing.

 

My sleep has been up and down, but rather strangely I seem to be reacting well to melatonin, which is the first time in my whole taper that it has worked for me. I had been taking 1mg on and off for the last few weeks, and I suddenly realised the other day that the nights I take it I sleep well, and the nights I don’t take it – I don’t.

 

I tried not taking it for 4 nights this week and couldn’t sleep on those nights, and had to take some doxy/AD. However, last night when I still didn’t feel sleepy by around 9pm I took 1mg of melatonin and I swear within 15 minutes I was yawning my head off, and nodding off, and I slept really solidly for about 5-6 hours. Maybe it was a co-incidence and maybe I was going to sleep okay anyway – who knows, but I’ll try it again tonight if I don’t feel sleepy and see what happens.

 

I’m not over-joyed about taking melatonin, because I have read that if you take it for too long your body can slow down its own production, and I was a bit worried that perhaps I was getting some kind of rebound insomnia when I couldn't sleep when I didn't take it, but I have decided that for the time being if it’s helping I will keep taking it. My sleep issues could just be my body’s last tantrum at not getting any worthwhile dose of valium anymore, and once it gets over its crank attack things may settle down anyway.

 

Things are also so new with this non-benzo life that I just need to be gentle with myself and not push myself in any particular direction. It’s not like I’m taking a huge dose. It’s only 1mg for goodness sake!  Some people take a lot more than that. I can always taper off the melatonin when I feel I need to – it’s not like I don’t know how to do a taper…lol…. I may even try taking 0.5mg, but it’s in capsule form, so I’m not sure how I will do that without creating a mess, but I may try it.

 

I may also try some foods that are high in melatonin (tart cherries, bananas, etc) to see if they will help instead of taking another pill.

 

Anyway, sleep aside, everything else has been pretty good. Earlier in the week I had a bit of a headache, which has always been my early warning sign, but that’s gone now. I started my GVC by initially doing a double dip and lick, by dipping my syringe into my 1:100 solution twice. I did that for a few days and now I’m just doing a single dip and lick. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep doing it for. Maybe another few days, or maybe I’ll just get bored with the whole thing and stop.

 

So this is how my GVC had gone…

 

Day 1 (Friday) – 0.005mg (no melatonin – couldn’t sleep)

Day 2 (Saturday) – 0.003mg (1mg melatonin – slept well)

Day 3 (Sunday) – 0.001mg (no melatonin – couldn’t sleep)

Day 4 (Monday) – double dip and lick (no melatonin – couldn’t sleep – slight headache)

Day 5 (Tuesday) – double dip and lick (no melatonin – couldn’t sleep – slight headache)

Day 6 (Wednesday) – double dip and lick (no melatonin – couldn’t sleep – no headache)

Day 7 (Thursday) – single dip and lick (1mg melatonin – slept well – no headache)

Day 8 (Friday/Today) – single dip and lick (1mg melatonin if needed)

 

To be Continued……

 

[[Sm...]]

Thankyou DP

Even if it is no news it is good news. It isn't like we are overly used to reports that we are feeling mostly fine

Keep the reporting coming

It is very exciting if you managed to slither off without an uptick in symptoms. It really proves once and for all that it is possible to heal all the way down a taper

Xx

[[Di...]]

Thanks Smiffy! How are you feeling now. Have you gotten over that fluey crap?