The POSITIVE withdrawal thread.

[[os...]]

Caught a glimpse of normal just now... sometimes i get a whiff of life as it should be, it is so slight but it makes me realize i am closer to this than i often give myself credit for and although i have been a bit down today, i am actually now feeling grateful to be where i am at right now... i am healing, i can feel it but getting there can be a bit worrying at times but tonight i feel quite relaxed.

 

Thanks for listening fellow BB´s.

 

Be well and keep on.

 

Oscar

[[os...]]

I think i wanna post here again. 

 

Despite a crappy afternoon feeling down, i have had a good evening and i have been lying here on my bed all snug listening to the rain pelting down outside tonight, TV is on and i am feeling pretty good, i thought "How am i really feeling?" and the answer came back as "Healing".

 

I am definitely healing, i have always known it but tonight i cannot deny that i am so much better than 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago and almost 16 months ago.

 

- I have had a good appetite for awhile now, loving my food.

 

- I am able to still sleep well (despite late nights i sleep in the mornings)

 

- I am not sweating anymore

 

- I am nowhere near as fogged as i was 8 months ago, i can see and think so much better

 

- Fatigue has come back a little but compared to 8 months ago, it is really very much improved, i can actually be quite motivated at times and i no longer find everything a complete effort, sometimes i even enjoy doing chores.

 

- Anxiety seems to be lessening, often i just fear getting worse and yet i am doing so much better, the really nasty fear has been absent for some time now.

 

- My general attitude is getting better although today i slumped a little, in the grand scheme of things, life like this is totally doable, it´s just often the uncertainty couple with the duration that gets me down at times but i am grateful to be so much better than i was at the start of this year.

 

- No matter what, when ever i stop and truly analyze how i am feeling, i can almost always say i am getting better, progress may be slow but for every month that passes, i am a better me, i am healed just that little bit more, i just need to recognize that more often.

 

- Maybe i´ll turn an even bigger corner at 18 months... that generally seems to be a good milestone in withdrawal, maybe it is similar in tapering also?

 

 

Oscar

[[sa...]]

I hope I feel as well as you when I'm in the low numbers Oscar. 

[[os...]]

I hope I feel as well as you when I'm in the low numbers Oscar.

 

I cannot and will not advise sagemom but if you listen to your body and taper accordingly, things get better, they really do... i had a huge lift at the equivalent of 4mgs, i mean, a big improvement but i headed to that faster than was good for me but then it started to get better and better, if i could go back and change anything, i would have slowed it down at 5mg and used more frequent short holds...

 

Have faith sage, this does get better i promise.

 

Oscar

[[sa...]]

I hope I feel as well as you when I'm in the low numbers Oscar.

 

I cannot and will not advise sagemom but if you listen to your body and taper accordingly, things get better, they really do... i had a huge lift at the equivalent of 4mgs, i mean, a big improvement but i headed to that faster than was good for me but then it started to get better and better, if i could go back and change anything, i would have slowed it down at 5mg and used more frequent short holds...

 

Have faith sage, this does get better i promise.

 

Oscar

 

Thanks Oscar.  I'm scared because my only other experienced with this was a CT that nearly killed me.  Sorry, that's not positive.  But this taper is a different thing, not easy, but it gets easier as I get lower as long as I don't go to fast.

[[aD...]]

I do not read the withdrawal boards as much any more and i feel it has made a pretty big difference in how i feel, too many horror stories just trigger my fears and getting back to other things lately has been really good for me

Oscar,

 

I really agree with what you said here. I, too, have been avoiding most of the horror stories, and I find that my mood has improved drastically.

 

Today was a great day. Our area has had a bit of a warm spell, so I took the opportunity to go kayaking one last time this season. I was out on the water - just me, my kayak, and the sounds of nature. As I paddled, I came upon a grove of trees that were dropping their multicolored leaves like snow around me. The feeling was serene and completely calming. Couldn't have asked for me.

[[os...]]

Avoiding too much negative really helps... it really does make a difference.

 

If you wanna feel better, quit reading horror beast stories, seriously.

 

Hey....

 

PARTIAL WINDOW RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ;D ;D

 

It´s 4am, don´t care, i feel good. 

 

Oscar

[[jo...]]

This is not reallly withdrawal related but then again it could be.

I gave myself a new hairstyle today.

It was really heavy and long and I put layers in it and shortened it.

It's saved me a small fortune in hair stylist costs and I am really pleased with the result.

http://s1228.beta.photobucket.com/user/starfish53/media/IMG_20121027_001424.jpg.html

 

If anyone wants to give themselves a haircut like this, here are the instructions.

It's really easy and fool proof.

• http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/Themes/Curve21/images/bbc/list.gif
  Section the top and bottom of the hair from the top of each ear, with a pointy comb.
  
  • Thoroughly brush the upper hair forward so there are no uneven bits.
    
  • 
    

   

  • The shorter the layers the shorter the fringe will be and the closer the cut will be to the head.
    
  • 
    
  • Comb hair, upright.
    
  • 
    
  • Thoroughly brush the hair back into a ponytail ensuring there are not uneven bits.
    
  • 
    
  • Tie the ponytail and then tie it a second time, further down the length, depending on how long you want the length.
    
  • 
    
  • The goal is to avoid a concave type shape at the back, but hopefully, having cut the top layers in the way described above, the concave-ness will have been cut out when cutting the top section of the hair.
    
  • 
    
  • Cut the ponytail to the length you require, automatically blending the layers in by cutting the hair the length of the lowest layer.
    
  • 
    
  • If you want to be able to tie your hair back, just ensure that you leave enough length, by sizing it, prior to cutting, and, where theh layers will be, by taking a lock and bringing it over to the cutting postion (see above)
    
  • 
    

  The result should look like an evenly layered hairstyle that is just past the collar length or longer.

  [*]

Sorry about the crap formatting and poor photo quality, I took the pic on my phone.

[[sa...]]

I do that too Journey, and it looks really good.  I can't even walk into a salon right now because of the chemicals they use, so I'm a do-it-yourselfer.

[[os...]]

Journey, your hair looks great. 

 

Hope you are feeling OK.

 

I have had a really great evening, best since starting this taper, i mean, i have felt well before but not with my mind as clear as it is so i am feeling really good right now, it´s the first time i have truly had a strong sense of a return to my old self, in a way it is like a window but not 100% but i sure as heck can truly feel i am really getting there now... it´s a really wonderful feeling, i am not even bothered by the length of my taper today, not if i am going to feel like this at times, it´s completely enough for me, i have not felt this good since God knows when.

 

IT´S HAPPENING !!!!!! MAYBE SLOWLY BUT IT IS HAPPENING !!!!!!! I CAN SEE AN END TO THIS AT LAST !!!!!!!!

 

 

Oscar

[[jo...]]

Yes, Sagemom, you could link the haircut to withdrawal as I am sure there are plenty people in withdrawal who are dying for a good haircut, yet cannot face sitting in a salon and so are stuck with hairstyles they are not satisfied with.

 

I got fed up of my long thick hair taking ages to dry, and knew it needed thinning out and shortening, and I had a google on how to layer your own hair, and saw some helpful videos.

 

I also call it the austerity cut because of the austerity measures being forced on us by politicians and austerity the buzz word for the increasing poverty due to the spending cuts etc.

It would cost anything upwards of £20 I would imagine to get my hair cut the way I cut it so I have saved myself that money and feel much lighter into the bargain.

 

Edited to add, I seem to be feeling a bit more clear headed now that I am on 120mg seroquel a day, instead of 150mgs. So far, so good.

[[sa...]]

Yes, Sagemom, you could link the haircut to withdrawal as I am sure there are plenty people in withdrawal who are dying for a good haircut, yet cannot face sitting in a salon and so are stuck with hairstyles they are not satisfied with.

 

I got fed up of my long thick hair taking ages to dry, and knew it needed thinning out and shortening, and I had a google on how to layer your own hair, and saw some helpful videos.

 

I also call it the austerity cut because of the austerity measures being forced on us by politicians and austerity the buzz word for the increasing poverty due to the spending cuts etc.

It would cost anything upwards of £20 I would imagine to get my hair cut the way I cut it so I have saved myself that money and feel much lighter into the bargain.

 

Edited to add, I seem to be feeling a bit more clear headed now that I am on 120mg seroquel a day, instead of 150mgs. So far, so good.

 

I like that, I'm going to start calling mine the "austerity cut".  Glad you're feeling a bit better!

[[Sk...]]

I have had a few unpleasant withdraw symptoms today, but i intend to keep chugging along!  It's nothing I can't handle! 

[[...]]

Morning Sagemom

 

My hair is very long and the last time I got hubby to measure it,it was 30 inches long and is desperate for a cut but I doubt I could sit whilst it was being cut,so just tie it up.

 

DD

[[jo...]]

Morning Sagemom

 

My hair is very long and the last time I got hubby to measure it,it was 30 inches long and is desperate for a cut but I doubt I could sit whilst it was being cut,so just tie it up.

 

DD

 

DD58

 

All you need to do is brush it and put it in a ponytail, then, put another ponytail in further down the length depending on how long you want it, and cut.

It's fool proof, honestly.

I layered my hair using ponytails, it's all about where you tie the ponytail and where you cut it.

 

Sagemom

 

Thanks for your good wishes.

[[...]]

Thank you I will have a go or else  cut it short.

 

 

DD

[[jo...]]

Thank you I will have a go or else  cut it short.

 

 

DD

There's loads of videos on how to cut your own hair on youtube.

One warning though, which I found useful was that if you don't want really short layers, make sure the cut is a long enough distance from the head.

Hair bands are really useful.

[[2w...]]

Head pressure and pain has lessened the last couple of days, so mornings haven't been as hard lately.

 

Hope everyone's having a restful weekend !

[Guest [Ce...]]

I feel really positive because now that I'm reducing my dose again after 10 weeks of holding, I feel like I'm back on track.  I've also made a taper plan and that gives me the feeling of control.

 

Additionally, I didn't need to c/o from diazepam to librium because I've found a gentle antibiotic that heals the recurring ulcer in my nose (which seems to result from diazepam usage).  This feels positive because I may not have taken to librium at these lower doses - it would have been a bit of an unknown.

 

Another good thing: my sister spontaneously sent me a copy of her favourite book to cheer me up today.  Nice!!

 

Oh, and BTW, I cut my own hair too!  (Have done for the past 5 years). 

 

It's a v good idea to look for the positives during withdrawal 

[[...]]

Hello Celeste

 

Is your hair short by any chance because there is no way that I would be able to cut my hair.

 

I also see that you taper on a weekly  basis and that you hit a spot where you had to hold was it because of side effects and was it  a case of wait until the side effects halt before cutting any more.

 

DD

[Guest [Ce...]]

Hi DD,

 

My hair is reasonably short - it is about chin level in a bob.  The very first cut was the most difficult - but I wasn't withdrawing when I first cut my hair.  Even then, I was prepared to visit a hairdresser to remedy it, just in case I was unhappy with the result.

 

I've been tapering on a weekly basis for the past 2 weeks by 0.1mg because I wanted to go slowly after having held for so long.  Now I'm going to be listening to my body as to whether I can make 0.1mg cuts or 0.2mg cuts and hold for 2-3 weeks.  I had to hold for 10 weeks because unfortunately I had a severe panic attack and took too much diazepam one time to cope with it.  I may have held for too long, but I wanted to be sure that the diazepam had evened out in my blood.  It seems to be okay now and the taper is going well again.  In the past I've also had to hold because the side effects were unmanageable and I'm aware I may need to do this again.

 

Celeste 

 

[[Bo...]]

OK... I've been benzo free for 72 days now.. Dropdown was from Feb1st - Aug 15th...(6 1/2 months)...  Some of my symptoms have gone away, some are less...  A few new ones have come...  I had strange buzzing electrical feelings in odd places and they have gone away.. I've had stabbing pains in my back and they dissapeared. For 4 months I had to have ice on my neck because the pain was so bad- now it hurts a bit but not as bad.. At the beggining of my dropdown, I was sleeping no more than 2-3 hours a night.. Now I sleep 5-6 hours on avg.. (but, I have created a schedule and I used relaxation techniques)..I had tingling (like pins and needles) in my extremities and on the sides of my face and this has gone away... and my energy level seems to be higher now... Also - I can now go to the grocery store on Saturday morning and not feel such anxiety... When I was on my dropdown, I just barely made it through food shopping (sweating, shaking, panic)..  I won't tell you about my new symptoms because you wanted positive..  But, overall, I'm a little better than before...  BoccB

[[Sk...]]

Great day today, except for some morning anxiety.  I hope all of you are doing well.  I am on my 4th day of my dose reduction from 1.75mg/day to 1.5mg/day after taking the prior dose for 14 days.  It almost always seems that the 2nd and 3rd day are the hardest during a dose reduction, but after that, it's smooth sailing!  The withdraw symptoms I have experienced thus far have been tolerable and I am excited to continue on a taper schedule that wont take me years to be done with it all. I am completely confident that this taper schedule will work out with tolerable withdraw symptoms. 

[[...]]

Thank you Celeste

 

So now I finally realise that although I am MT by .02 mg each time and I was doing this daily

 

17/10    3.48 mg V

18/10    3.46 mg                on 18/10  I decided to drop 1.5 mg of Remeron AD and I wonder if this was the start of my problem 2 meds at same time situation

19/10    3.44 mg

20/10    3.42 mg

21/10    3.40 mg

22/10    3.38 mg V

 

since 22/10 I just decided to put everything on hold so at present 3.38 mg Valium,10.5 mg Remeron and 300 mg Lithium carbonate my question is when does one start to resume tapering when my trembles and palpitations completely go.

I just can not figure out which med as caused all this,I know BB's have w/d sxs and can pin point it down to the one they have taperd,but in my case it could be either of the two.

 

Thank you.

 

DD

 

[[lk...]]

DD....I would say when you feel stable or your sx's are tolerable you can move along. I would most definitely only taper one medication at a time!!

 

Lisa