The POSITIVE withdrawal thread.

[[ra...]]

Plenty of things are better than they were, but the most positive thing of which I can think is that even if a day totally sucks, I can deal with it.  I might not train (work out) that day, and I might not land a million dollar account, but I will go to work, I will interact with my friends and family, and it will not be a wasted day.

 

If you are out there at month 10 of your taper still feeling sorry for yourself, take a lead from Oscar.  If you can just step out a bit, you can laugh.  If you can step out a bit and laugh you can get on with your life instead of waiting for "the magic window that never closes!"

 

Good luck to all,

 

Ramcon1

[[...]]

Hi, I was just blogging about this, but I'll repeat here because I think it fits this thread:

 

I realized today that one of the big improvements now vs. during my taper is how sensitive I am to changes in how I'm feeling.  Back in hell of tapering, I could go from feeling ok to full w/d very quickly, and I guess I was really sensitive to that, and had alot of fear about it.  I remember many times thinking "how bad is this really going to get?" while it was happening, alot of fear involved in that, especially if I was at work or out amongst people.  Can you relate?

 

But now, when I do feel the w/d symptoms kicking in, I don't have that fear anymore.  My sensitivity to how I'm feeling has been reduced.  I guess I've healed enough now to know it's not going to get out of control and I will be able to handle it.

 

You will heal and turn that corner at some point, it will come!  If I can do it, anyone can!

 

Zeek 

 

[[Qu...]]

Since I first tapered my Lorazepam and came off 1 year ago, I helped my fiancee build 2 houses. For the first 3 months I was on the site with him daily as I could not be left alone for my own safety, now I go to work with a smile on my face and really feel the magnitude of being able to say I built 2 houses during one of the most incrediblely horrible periods of my life. 

 

Nicole

[[mo...]]

Half dose VS. Full dose

 

-Social skills are coming back. I am actually able to build rapport.

-Libido is back hardcore.

-My mind is much sharper. Even if I feel like an idiot after a cut, I will play brain games/chess/do school work/stay alive and actually see how much better off I am.

-The motivation to better my life is coming back.

-I am able to laugh much more easily.

-I am much more creative.

-I am a much less angry person and much less uptight.

-I do not require nearly as much sleep.

-My eyes are not nearly as strained around light and while focusing.

 

[[va...]]

wow this is really a great thread.

[[os...]]

Today:

 

I actually went and brushed my teeth straight after dinner... in w/d i can be lazy w night time brushing... teeth are much whiter these days as i never drink tea or coffee anymore, that is a plus. 

 

I swept and polished surfaces in my bedroom and generally pottered about.

 

I actually went on facebook and listened to youtube videos for a change instead of being on here 24/7

 

Looked in the bathroom mirror and admired my new slimmer look (i look less tired too).

 

I have hope again... and feel good about life.

 

I was able to project how much healthier i will look and feel when all of this is over, what with much better eating habits and it all being healthy, i could picture myself as "the new me" laughing and smiling and living life again at some point in the future and that was quite exciting... i am going to be so much better, i just know it.

 

Oscar

 

 

[[va...]]

Today:

 

I actually went and brushed my teeth straight after dinner... in w/d i can be lazy w night time brushing... teeth are much whiter these days as i never drink tea or coffee anymore, that is a plus. 

 

I swept and polished surfaces in my bedroom and generally pottered about.

 

I actually went on facebook and listened to youtube videos for a change instead of being on here 24/7

 

Looked in the bathroom mirror and admired my new slimmer look (i look less tired too).

 

I have hope again... and feel good about life.

 

Oscar

 

GO OSCAR GO!!!!!!!!

[[os...]]

 

This thread will be good when i feel crap again... i hope others read it and know that it does get better... we all need to know this and often.

 

WE WILL HEAL, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! 

 

Oscar

[[ge...]]

Oscar, I havent been onlien today, trying to keep busy. I just came on and this post is so uplifting, I really apprecaite your positive attitude it makes a big difference! Thank You! 

 

I am in a wave, BUT the intense fear is GONE!!

[[Wi...]]

I wish there was a like button on here  

 

My stomach feels back to normal

Not as many headaches

My head feels clear again

My energy level is much better

 

Great thread Oscar 

[[Ho...]]

Fantastic idea Oscar...You da man!

[[lk...]]

Very nice thread! I think its sooo important to keep it positive and when you can't do it for yourself you can come on here and find something!

 

I am quite new to all this but I will tell you this......when I actually get some straight sleep I can feel human again! I know its not often still but the few glimpses I get are wonderful!!!!

 

Lisa

[[os...]]

I think that the withdrawal and support page needs a thread like this as it is proof that suffering does not mean constant, reading of each others small triumphs and victories and small glimpses of wellness can be invaluable to our own recovery, we all need hope and i hope this thread stays so that when we have darker days, we can read the posts made here... it is not to belittle what we go through but to shine some light when others need it the most will undoubtedly result in hope.

 

Oscar

[[Sk...]]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

[[lk...]]

Sounds good to me! I like hearing what people have gone through and that there is some light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

 

Lisa

[[Sk...]]

I like this thread as well.  I feel that instead of this withdraw experience being like a living nightmare, It could be a challenge.  A fight!  A fight to get your life back and be free of the addiction.  From now on, I will make a conscious effort to realize that every step forward is a step closer to winning the battle within ourselves!     

[[ho...]]

I was just saying to my boyfriend earlier today, that without realizing some of my w/d effects have subsided.

I was constantly staying focused on how crappy I still feel, but in refocusing to what I have overcome, I can see the following:

 

I'm no sleeping more than 1-2 hours a night (thank goodness, as insomnia was the one I thought was gonna make me completely lose it)

Numbness in face is gone.

Constant headache is gone, although I still get some intermittent ones.

I'm no longer suffering full blown panic episodes!

Agoraphobia, GONE.

That weird metallic taste in my mouth.

 

I just hope to keep on keepin on.

Oscar, this was a really great thread to start. It's hard to remind ourselves to try and focus on the good while walking through hell.

[[St...]]

Hi Oscar,

 

Thanks for starting this thread. I really try to stay in the positive, which is hard on those wave days. I have lost so many sxs and only have a few left. The difference between a year ago and now is tremendous.  Healing does happen, it shows up in little things like my hair isn't falling out by handfulls now, it is growing back and is really curly. My energy is better, not as fatigued feeling, I bought a treadmill this week and plan to start walking on it daily. The burning - horrid skin on fire pain is 100% gone most days and when it is here it is just in a few areas and so tolerable.

 

My anxiety is getting better as each month goes on. I can't believe how calm I am compare to when I was on that stuff, let alone how extreme it got from going c/t. Healing does happen to the CNS. I would never have believed it possible, I remember when I was around my 4 - 5 month mark I wondered how I would manage to live with such anxiety. People ahead of me would tell me that it would improve and I would get better and it is so true.

 

So much more has improved than just what I wrote of.  I so want to give people hope that healing does happen.  It really does.  It is slow and most of the time you don't even realize that it is taking place but when you can look at a month or two months you can see it.

 

We all just have to try and take care of ourselves and rest, eat, go for walks, get some sun....  All these things are what I was told to do when I joined the TRAP and when I came to BB.    But no matter how we do the right stuff - the biggest part of this puzzle is TIME. Our body just has to have the time to chemically re balance itself.

 

Healing to all,

Sally  :angel:2w

[[...]]

My jittery feeling is almost completely gone.  Very rarely have heart palpitations any more.  Can put a spoonful of something in the blender without spilling half of it all over the counter.

 

I'm doing most of my own grocery shopping.  Wasn't at the beginning. 

[[os...]]

My jittery feeling is almost completely gone.  Very rarely have heart palpitations any more.  Can put a spoonful of something in the blender without spilling half of it all over the counter.

 

I'm doing most of my own grocery shopping.  Wasn't at the beginning.

 

That´s fantastic progress Luci. 

 

Oscar

[[jo...]]

OK y´all.

 

We read of symptoms and post of our own for validation and support... whilst that helps, here is an idea...

 

I think it would be most beneficial to have a thread where we post of symptoms that have lessened, or gone completely, whether temporarily or otherwise.

 

If we read nothing but negative, surely that can exacerbate anxiety and bring on symptoms?

 

We need a positive withdrawal thread to balance this out...

 

Where we suffer, it would be great to read of others mini triumphs and milestones and of symptoms that have faded and/or disappeared...

 

We may not be success stories yet but why should we not share our improvements as a way to help others keep hopeful?

 

It´s time to get some positive posts happening in one thread that may help us all in times of despair.

 

Who´s going to start off???

 

Let´s all make an effort here.

 

Oscar

I want to shout out loud my gratitude that my obsessive anxiety has drastically reduced.

The releif is physical as well as mental.

I bask in this feeling.

I will never ever stop being thankful that this all-consuming and friend-alienating obsessive anxiety has burnt itself out.

 

I also want to express my gratitude for the lesson I learnt from personal experience.

(nowt like personal experience for teaching lessons)

I learnt that every panic based action is going to lead to negativity, so I am safe in the knowledge that when I get an anxious thought, I am allowed to 'let go' of the panic.

 

You might say, and indeed, I also thought, "But life does have emergency situations sometimes when we have to act urgently?" Panicing in these times is likely to worsen the situations. The best people in a crisis are the calm ones.

 

I also learnt and resolved something from childhood. I used to get called 'dozy' a lot because I used to 'space out' when bored or when absorbed in my own emotional pain.

I think I started to panic because it was an attempt to be more 'alert', so I woudn't  make so many silly mistakes and get seen as 'dozy'.

 

Daily cutting. That has saved me. My fear of worsening at the end of the taper, and of post withdrawal, has now evaporated.

Nervous at first, to try daily cutting, I read other's posts, and was delighted to find that some people with symptoms were enjoying a lessening of these symptoms.

This inspired me to start, and six weeks later, I am at 3.21mg valium and feeling better for the mere fact that my benzo level is decreasing daily and that I no longer have that worry of how my latest 'cut' is going to affect me like I did with the ashton taper.

 

Thank you Oscar for starting this thread, I am now off to read the rest of it. Ah, I have to take my benzo first, my alarm has just gone off, so, before I forget......................

 

These are four positives from benzo withdrawal.

 

[[jo...]]

Sure it will work. It's a good idea.

You want me to be serious?

Geez...

 

Well, it's also true that I spent so much time at work during this difficult recovery - because I felt so bad when I was at home - that I got a promotion and a pay raise. Hah!

 

Another good thing: I'm much less critical of other people, and much more sympathetic, and... sensitive.

There. I said it.

Sensitive.

Nothing like a whole lot of suffering to make you less obnoxious and more humble, right?

 

I like this. . Alot.

[[jo...]]

 

This thread will be good when i feel crap again... i hope others read it and know that it does get better... we all need to know this and often.

 

WE WILL HEAL, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! 

 

Oscar

This thread will be good IF you feel crap again.

 

The strange thing about life is that when we expect crap, life obliges us and delivers us crap.

Dunno the science behind it but it's definitely true.

The good news is that the opposite is true.

When we expect things to turn out right, life obliges again, even if it does it in a round about way, i.e. things not working out first time for a reason, which is discovered when things do finally work out, and the good events could not have happened if things had worked out the first time.

[[lk...]]

 

This thread will be good when i feel crap again... i hope others read it and know that it does get better... we all need to know this and often.

 

WE WILL HEAL, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! 

 

Oscar

This thread will be good IF you feel crap again.

 

The strange thing about life is that when we expect crap, life obliges us and delivers us crap.

Dunno the science behind it but it's definitely true.

The good news is that the opposite is true.

When we expect things to turn out right, life obliges again, even if it does it in a round about way, i.e. things not working out first time for a reason, which is discovered when things do finally work out, and the good events could not have happened if things had worked out the first time.

 

YES INDEED!!!! If you dwell on the bad it will come.....if you dwell on the good the same goes....So I think I will keep forcing my thoughts in the positive direction!!!!

 

Positive for today: I feel WAAAAAY better then yesterday!!!

 

Lisa

[[os...]]

I have a positive, i cut 0.0025mg V equiv today... and i lived. 

 

Just a little pun to get the anti-slow taper posse riled.

 

Feeling good here... on my boat... but i am all out of tea... can´t have it all i suppose.

 

Oscar