The Klonopin Klub

[[ja...]]

Good morning, all. Great stuff from everyone.

 

I'm going to try that melatonin/Kavinace combo you talked about, Rek. I'll go to Whole Foods when I get home and pick it up. I can't drink warm milk because I will definitely be up going to the bathroom and ruining my sleep  Mostly, I can get to sleep, but I can't stay asleep. Also, my husband snores so badly, I call it his Sea Lion Routine. It never bothered me before recently. 

 

So I took an Ambien last night and slept for a solid 7 1/2 hours, without nightmares, go figure. I have to think that maybe the bad sleep isn't due to Klonopin withdrawal anymore. I heard that after 6 months, the K is out of your system (but it doesn't feel like it sometimes). Anyone hear anything about how long it takes? It's needless to say that under extreme stress so much of it comes back - is it Klonopin withdrawal or is it just stress? I'm wondering.

 

So HEY! I journaled this morning for the first time since my first month of jumping! God, did it feel good. I got out a lot of anger and felt empowered by the career skills I know I have. I feel like I've been such a drain on my husband, so this was amazing. I have to keep doing it - it was amazing how helpful it was.

 

So, still in Tennessee, and those of you who know me well can tell I'm more or less back to myself We're going back tomorrow but I'm taking Monday and Thursday off for final interviews. We decided on a B & B out in upstate NY to go to, following any offer I get. Detox mentally, you know? Thank God for our skills, for the people who love us, and the fact that we're part of nature.

 

Yeah, I'm back.  Later gators. Have a great Saturday!

 

[[In...]]

Jax,

 

You are up early. I'm up because of work. It's 5:32 am here right now. Glad the journalling works for you so well. I often read where that is very therapeutic.

 

I think that your difficult sleep could still be w/d. Remember that the GABA repair continues long after the drug has left your system. This is what a lot of docs tend to say or think, " I don't think your sx are from w/d because the drug is out of your system by now."

 

You're still working on that IMO. But you really do well; just the way you travel, interview for jobs, and the overall way you write here demonstrates such zest and determination. I've read many posts on this forum, and you by far are the most "lively" post CT I've read. Keep living cause it's great.

 

Hope the day goes well for all. I will be working today till 5:00 pm officially. Sometimes it's later just depending on situations.

 

Genoa, hope you're on that recovery road.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Intend, good luck with the interventions--talk about stress . . .  A friend of mine is a social worker and for a while she was out on the front lines, going into houses to remove abused children and that sort of ordeal--it took a toll on her.  She went back to school, hoping that upping her credentials would enable her to change tack, but then she found that getting her MSW didn't open up the kind of opportunities she'd hoped for, so she returned to where she'd been working before--only this time, fortunately, she got an office position, in a supervisory capacity.  Would something like that ever be a possibility for you?  Having to run direct interference between members of troubled families must be among the most draining jobs out there, it seems to me; I wouldn't be able to do it at all, lacking the courage for that kind of confrontation--my hat's off to you.  I hope somehow this weekend goes easy on you.  I don't know whether it gets worse around holidays, but I just hope it won't be too rough.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

 

 

[[re...]]

Hi, I'm back--when I logged on a few minutes ago, the only new post I saw was Intend's about upcoming work obligations; I somehow missed the others! 

 

OK, Jax, let me know how it goes with the Kavinace and melatonin--I really hope it works.  And indeed, as Intend observes, you really are a trooper--you just keeping on trucking, and providing us with this great, lively (to steal Intend's very apt word!) narrative of your journey.  Excellent that you took up the journal-writing again and found it so cathartic!  Writing is a great place to put anger and frustration, and it's true that, all things being equal, it can help you see your strengths in a new light, allowing you to give yourself more credit for them.  Well done! 

 

I read (and honestly can't now remember whether it was here or somewhere else--some of the recent posts here have sent me looking for further information on the Internet, so I'm a bit muddled about my sources at the moment!) that it can take as long as four years for the GABA receptors to . . . what's the term . . . up-regulate?  To get completely back to normal.  That of course doesn't mean four years of sheer hell, as both Jax and I are witness, because we've been able to re-establish some normalcy in our lives--it's just that it's tricky, and when stress is bad or we accidentally ingest the wrong thing, we get what I'm calling "flashbacks."  So I guess it's a good idea to hunker down for the long haul, try to be as observant as possible about what triggers bad reactions and then avoid those things insofar as possible (stress, of course, is a tough one to avoid, especially in most workplaces; stress gets you in its sights and then pursues you relentlessly, so all you can do is be creative about coping, with journal-writing, meditation, warm baths, or whatever).  For my part, I guess I'm going to be a tee-totaler for a while, and I'm going to try to avoid at least the known hot-button supplements, including B-vitamins, for instance. 

 

Genoa, I took magnesium last night; too soon to tell whether it made a difference--presumably I need to keep taking it in some sort of regular, if experimental, fashion, and see how things go.  I hope you are feeling a lot better this morning, meanwhile.

 

Enjoy the B&B, Jax--good idea to make a sort of holiday out of this quest!

 

Peace, everyone -

 

Rek

[[Ly...]]

Good morning everyone- I needed to ask your guys opinion about what im going thru...IM on day 36 coming off benzos and the good news is that for the last 10 days or so the morning anxiety that i felt  when i woke up is finally gone. Unfortunately what remains after i wake up is a foggy out of it kinda feeling that varies in degrees and intensity as my day goes on that usually goes away later in the day...Is this common? its like the more im awake sometimes the more i get to feeling out of it.. sometime a little dizziness in the mix with it...Hoping this withdrawal and not connected to post concussion stuff from my injury months ago...what do you think? has anyone been experiencing this? it is less intense then it was then when i was on my taper still actually coming off the medication.

 

Im hoping this is not how the remainder of my anxiety is going to stay....

 

 

Hope everyone is having a good morning....

[[re...]]

Hi, Lynn -

 

What you're describing sounds like what a lot of people refer to as "brain fog" or "cog fog."  Although it was never particularly a problem for me, I'd say based on numerous posts I've read on this thread and others that it's very common.  I bet you'll soon get responses from people who have direct experience with this phenomenon who can tell you better than I can what to expect, whether there's anything you can do to counteract such symptoms, and/or whether there's anything you should be avoiding because it might make them worse.  Meanwhile, congratulations on reaching day 36--that's awesome!  Good for you--you should pat yourself on the back for this accomplishment!

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[mu...]]

Hello everyone

I have been reading eveyone's posts and glad to see that people are doing better.  I' m waiting for the day when I can wake up and feel good.  It's 2pm and I'm just beginning to move.  The fatigue has been terrible this morning.  Last night I was up until midnight.  I was feeling so good I didn't want to go to bed.  I even made my red cake last night at 9pm for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.  I need to get off the couch and start cleaning house.  I wish I could go shopping but my body says no.

[[Mi...]]

Having a rough couple days now.....I have read and read on this site....I have terrible Muscle Pain and Tightness....I know its called the Benzo flu for the muscle sorness and when I say soreness, I mean I can't stand for items to touch me. My muscle tigntness is horrible, I can't stand this feeling of my muscles pulled so tight and at any moment with any move they are going into a cramp.

 

I tried Relora today only one cap so far. I read it can help with some of my symptoms including the Benzo Belly so I will try it. I also read Magnesium can help with muscle tightness.

 

I only want help out the gate so I can get through the first process. I am only in the tappering phase and can't imagine when I go off completely.

 

I want my life back and to feel normal. I am emotional not so much depressed but emotional. Oh how I wish I could rewind the hands of time and never never take this drug.

 

When I sleep I try to take advantage of it. If I dose I try to stay in bed as long as possible to fall back asleep. Sometimes it works sometimes I just end up laying in bed all day. I wonder what my neighbors think of me. I live in an apartment and they would normally see me coming and going but lately I never leave unless I run out of food or have somthing I have to make myself do.

[[ja...]]

Good morning, all! I AM RESTED!!! How amazing is that? I actually did have nightmares, as per usual, but even dreams of the apocalypse didn't wake me during the night. I was looking at Jersey Shore Hurricane Sandy pics right before bed... So I woke up, crying as usual and clinging to my husband, but when the cobwebs cleared I was rested. I just put myself on a schedule last night and did lights out at 9:30 PM. So...I think I'm ok. We have to drive back to NJ today from Tennessee. Then to get home and start cleaning, and taking care of myself better, and get ready for a couple of interviews tomorrow.

 

Lynn, I felt exactly how you did at 36 days. I know you'd think that at 36 days you'd be totally better, but you have the Cog Fog of which Rek spoke. That was totally me too. The way I'd get past that is to lay down or even end the day if I had to. And meditate! I knew that the next day I would be a tiny bit better and so I just went on doing the best I could. I hated it so much, but I kept the faith. You can too, you're so strong for sticking with it. 

 

Misery, I hope you feel better soon - it IS possible. Question: do you have a taper plan that you're implementing or sticking to? I know some people suggested some plans and I'm wondering if you're doing one of them. There are a bunch of things you can get out of reading posts on Benzobuddies - one is that you hear a lot of people as miserable as you (and that's camaraderie) and another is Success Stories, which are so helpful because they're all people who got through it. Hey, read mine 

 

Rek and Intend, thanks so much for the affirmation. It's just my own style, I guess, to be "lively". You guys just saw me at the other end of the spectrum too  so it's not always the case. But it helps so much to be reminded of being a trooper and getting through this crap - workwise and Klonopin-wise.

 

Everyone else, hugs! Enjoy the rest of the weekend. 

[[In...]]

Well it's 5:21 am and I'm up again for work. I do work in an office setting, supervisory capacity.

 

I think its a bit different than most might envision in that clients do come into the facility seeking help with their family difficulties, while some of the teens are still there from the night or week before the weekend as their parents are often given the option of them spending the night.

 

I do have a supervisor who supervises an  entire shift, but he rarely is in my location and just checks in to see if I'm "doing ok." Thus I'm on my own to set up the days work for two residences and make most/all the decisions for them, particularly if there are problems, deal with new clients coming in, call the state division of child and family services if needed, and that's just a small part of the whole thing.

 

The intensity of it varies. Yesterday, like the last two weekends have been especially intense, but I will continue on. It's true that getting advanced degrees doesn't translate into higher pay at all. For that, I should have become a lawyer or engineer like my two brothers. I used to teach math to "at risk" teens, and I had to structure three different programs for the usually three levels we had: remedial, average, and advanced. But, pay for teachers isn't great either.

 

Actually not looking for the money though. I appreciate the part time aspect, and I feel competent to handle this current situation. However, it can get rough. I've spent this entire post on me. Just want to say that I've had so many w/d sx during my last three years, that I do understand what everyone is going through.

 

It does take most likely a couple of years for those GABAs to fully repair long after the drug is gone. Finding the right taper varies depending on the length of time on the drug, but if you have significant sx when you taper, you need to slow down. Anything intolerable or unmanageable means slow down and cut smaller. I realize this is daunting as I find K to be a hard pill to cut small, plus I do not think I can ever get even to a lower dose by dry cutting. That's why I'm planning on liquid titrating.

 

I hope you all have a good day today. Just about ready to jump in shower here.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Good morning to everyone!

 

Jax, how nice to find you so chipper and well-rested, nightmares notwithstanding!  Sometimes I think bad dreams are not actually bad if they don't actually wake us up or otherwise disrupt the sleep itself--bad dreams may be a way of working through stuff in our subconscious that we just can manage while conscious.  They're a problem if they interfere with our getting a good night's sleep, but otherwise perhaps not entirely a negative thing.  That said, I might suggest not looking at upsetting pictures too close to bedtime!  They say you shouldn't watch disturbing and/or violent movies before bed, either.  Makes sense to me, although on the whole I tend to avoid violent movies, period.  Anyway, Jax, so glad--forgot to mention this before--that you got the green light from your doctor on using your foot, and hope it serves you well in all the running around for interviews and stuff.  Let us know how it all pans out . . . well, I know you will.

 

MustLoveDogs, I think perhaps you're having your Thanksgiving observation with family today? I hope it goes well--I hope you managed to get a bit more rest last night (and didn't stay up until 2 AM!), so that you can have some energy for socializing and enjoying the festivities.  Maybe a good fringe benefit, too, will be that all the activity will tire you out and help you sleep better tonight.  When I was in withdrawal, my sleep was all over the map, but it did eventually become more regular, and I even, finally, got back to where I could manage to snatch one of my little cat-naps--or power-naps, as I guess some people call them--in the middle of the day: fifteen minutes of dozing with my head down on the arm of the couch or whatever, after which I wake up feeling refreshed, and I then take our silly, ridiculous dog out for a walk, or whatever.  (He's silly and ridiculous, but also adorable and endearing.)  During withdrawal, the only thing that would score me a nap was lying down and doing the mindfulness body-scan.  Those naps were not as refreshing, simply because the quality of my sleep was persistently compromised during benzo-use and benzo-withdrawal, but they were better than nothing.  So I recommend trying the lying-down body-scan, if you haven't done so yet.

 

Misery, I am sorry that your anguish is so persistent, and I so wish there were a magic button.  Now, I don't want to alarm you, but I am a little concerned about the Relora--I'm wondering whether you consulted anyone before trying it.  It's not a drug I'm particularly familiar with, but I looked it up, and it sounds like something to be very cautious about combining with benzodiazepines or any other medication typically used to treat anxiety.  Mind you, I say this after having myself used an OTC supplement (Kavinace) that's not particularly recommended with benzos, although I stayed away from Kavinace until a couple of days after I'd taken what I vowed would be my last-ever dose of clonazepam (and it was indeed the last).  Anyway, you can see how the Relora works for you, but if you detect anything that feels like an adverse reaction I'd suggest putting the stuff away and saving it for when you've STOPPED taking benzos.  I completely understand wanting help over the hump--that's what Kavinace did for me, once I was off clonazepam--but the tricky thing is that there are some things that may seem as though they'll be helpful when in fact they'll only complicate the process.  Please tell us whether you've tried any of the following: mild teas like ginger or chamomile, warm baths or showers (to alleviate body pain, for example), topical analgesics like Ben-Gay (I just stumbled across a tube of this in a closet and decided to try it--it seems to help, but I must warn you not to put it on right after a shower or bath when your pores are wide-open, as it will make you feel as though you've got a chill, and you don't need that!), meditation/mindfulness body-scan, or creative visualization techniques.  If you haven't tried any of these, believe me it can't hurt.  With anything you try, there's always the risk that it won't help, but I don't THINK there is a risk that any of the aforementioned will HARM you, except the potential body-freeze with Ben-Gay (and some other topical analgesics, like Tiger Balm liniment--this, by the way, is a natural NSAID, and the standard caveats apply--NSAIDs should not be used lightly, especially, as I just learned, in conjunction with benzo-withdrawal).  Finally there is the magnesium, which you already know about.  This is another thing definitely worth trying, and it will not harm you, other than perhaps to loosen your bowels a bit more than you'd like (which it does to me sometimes).  What I'm trying to suggest to you is that you attempt some strategies with which there is NO RISK of drug interaction, because anything at all with any potential to interact with the benzodiazepines may possibly be counterproductive.  Setting up a program for yourself that involves the best possible nutrition (avoiding highly processed foods, additives, artificial sweeteners--they are REALLY, REALLY bad for you--excess sugar and caffeine), as much exercise as you can manage, and non-medicative self-soothing techniques like baths or meditation, can EMPOWER you, and this alone actually helps, believe me.  Part of what is so debilitating about this whole benzodiazepine nightmare is that it makes you feel so entirely helpless.  But you are NOT helpless, however much you may feel that you are.  You can help yourself in at least small ways, and being proactive about this can ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT BETTER.  Please believe me, and please try it.  Be good to yourself--that's really the watch word.  You deserve the care that you do actually have in your power to administer to yourself, so give yourself that gift.

 

Intend, thanks for the description of your work situation--it is interesting to me, amazing that your organization sometimes hosts teenagers overnight.  It must be hugely challenging, but what a great resource for those kids to have.  Sometimes even a generally stable home situation can become volatile, and I'm a great believer in the idea that kids should have recourse from time to time to concerned adults who are NOT their own parents.  Sometimes a given family's social situation doesn't offer such possibilities, or at least not in abundance, so it's great if there can be a safety net provided to them by professionals.

 

How are you feeling today, Lynn?  I hope you found reassurance in Jax's description of her own experience at roughly one month out.  And hope you're feeling better today!

 

Peace, everyone -

 

Rek

   

[[re...]]

Hi, I'm back.

 

Jax.  Jax, my friend--I just want to say: holy s***.  I finally got around to reading your account (in installments) at "Success Stories"--my GOD, girl, you are resilient!  I am still trying to get my jaw to go back into its normal position--it's simply agape at the moment: I cannot BELIEVE what you've been through, and, perhaps more to the point, what you've managed to come BACK from!  And here's the other thing: you write really well.  Have you ever considered doing a book about your experience?  I know, I know--who has the time for such things, and books, alas, seem to be going out of fashion (THIS REALLY BUGS ME--I don't think I want to live in a world without books!).  And yet, and yet . . . you have some serious material here.  And you've kept journals, at least during some phases of this whole odyssey you've been on.  I dunno, it's just a thought.  Your story is absolutely astonishing--I'm filled with admiration at the obstacles you've faced and have overcome.  After that I'm not sure there's anything you're not equal to, even if sometimes you feel vulnerable--clearly at your core you are unbelievably strong.  Just wanted to put that out there!  Now I'm going to go work on closing my jaw, before someone notices it hanging slack!!

 

:-)

 

Peace,

 

Rek 

[[...]]

hey buddios- hope everyone is holding on ok.  i am in month 17 off but have really been hit bad this past few weeks.  had to put my sweet dog of 14 years to sleep a few weeks aago- that prob hurt me a lot inside all over.

 

i am wondering does anyone get this on and off crying thing?  i know i have some depression but this is like some kind of intense emotionalism thing.

klonipin is sure a rough one

so hoped i'd be better by now

 

[[re...]]

I am so sorry about your beloved dog, Pan--the loss of a pet who's been with you for years (through thick and thin) is one of the hardest, I know.  And it can set you back.  You've been off for sixteen going on seventeen months, though, and that is wonderful.  What's just happened is bound to hit you hard, and stress of any kind seems to have the potential to bring back symptoms.  It will pass--try to do things to take extra-good care of yourself, eating nourishing food, staying active, drinking soothing tea.  Be well.  And turn to the community here any time you need to.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[Jm...]]

I'm four months off the Klon and mostly what I'm dealing with is crushing fatigue.  Just had a setback, over-extended myself a couple of weeks ago and have been housebound ever since.  The worse days are when I can barely move.  I get out of bed to get food and go to the bathroom.  Achy and stiff.  I thought things were improving.  2-3 days a week I could actually run an errand or two.  Then the rug got pulled out.  Some racing heart beat, lots of anxiety, brain fog and don't give a damn about most things I used to care about.  I wish I could find a doctor who knows something about all this.  It is so hard to go it more or less alone.  right now I don't have much strength and hope.  sorry!

 

Klonopin is very tough on the muscles because it is also a muscle relaxer.  I am having no energy to go out as well, but I was benzo free for about 2 months and I remember I had some signs of improving, but I fell back into Xanax, and then due to my doctor not understanding benzos at all, I was put on 4mg of Klonopin a day.  I am about a month into my taper with Kpins, but at 1.75mg a day it seems incredibly hard.  You should definitely look for doctors in the psychiatry area that deal with addiction, and who know about how to help with getting off this awful drug (kpin).  I know it is hard to find a good doctor, but there are a few doctors that will understand the horror of this awful class of drugs.  I also feel apathetic towards things I used to be passionate about, but I know that eventually (I hope!) it will return.  Right now I feel the DR and DS, which is very tough. 

 

The only thing I am on which may help is Neurontin, which I am on 1800mg a day taking 600mg x3 daily.  I also was in a horrible car accident a month ago to the day today the 25th, and am now going to have to deal with an orthopedist/pain management as I was lucky to be alive as the car flipped over, which caused 2 herneated disks and a slipped disk. 

 

   

[[li...]]

Hi Jmf,

 

So sorry to hear about the accident and your experience with benzos .........

 

I know first hand about 'pain management' ........ be very careful in your choice of doctor ..... because that precipitated all my ensuing

 

problems.  I trusted my pain doctor, never abused medications, and landed in this ordeal.

 

I just felt a need to say this, out of concern, as I wouldn't wish what I have been through on anyone!

 

Take care,

Lizie

[[ja...]]

Hey all! En route to NJ. 7 hours to go...

 

Rek! Hey, thanks  . I've often thought about writing my story and was working hard at a novel about 3 years ago but haven't picked it up since. I actually was asked to leave several writing groups because my stuff wasn't for the faint of heart and people couldn't handle it. The crazy thing was that I was writing from direct experience, so that left me wondering if my life was indeed too hard for anyone to digest. Hey, can I name-drop? When I went to college, I lived in a Creative Arts dorm in the Writing section...guess who I shared a dorm wall with? Only Junot Diaz, Pulitzer Prize winner. And we critiqued each other. Here's a big secret - he's a Jersey boy much more than a Dominican Immigrant, a Jersey boy with all the obnoxious trimmings  But don't tell anyone, haha. I'll just post it on a Forum. D'oh. But thanks again

 

And good God, I just read Wonder in one sitting. Thanks so much for the Rek-omendation! It was a phenomenal, amazing book. How cool is it that we can all get so much from each other from so far away! EVERYONE in the Klub, you must read the book Wonder. If anyone knows any other great books, please post them! It was either Lizie or Lynn who said that they were going to sleep with a good book and soup. This is underrated. It gets your mind focusing on something else. Remarkable! My favorite of late is Catching Fire from the Hunger Games series. A lot of people like the Twilight Series, which are the worst books I couldn't put down  And how psyched am I that Rowling's new book is on hold for me at the library, Casual Vacancy.

 

Also, a note about music. Anyone here ever just daydream to music or "meaningful" songs? We saw "Skyfall" last night and the title song by Adele is also phenomenal. Have a listen! Youtube it or something.

 

Now, a note about movies during withdrawal from Klonopin - they were really difficult for me to watch between the sounds being amazingly loud and all my twitching. Forget 3D movies, that was traumatic...we saw Predator in 3D about 3 weeks after I jumped and that was a serious mistake. I still had some neck trouble last night in the movies but it wasn't overly terrible...

 

Getting off the highway for a break...post good books, all!

 

 

[[re...]]

Jax, Junot Diaz, no kidding??  Wow!  And thanks for the inside scoop!  I'm not exactly surprised--we build up ideas about writers when we read about them, but I'll bet most of the time they're nothing like what we imagine them to be. 

 

I do think you should try writing again . . . I mean with at least a theoretical view toward publication.  It's fascinating, meanwhile, that people you've shared your writing with have found it too much to deal with.  And yet people read those Stieg Larsson books and don't bat an eye at the grotesque violence.  (I'm not either knocking or promoting that series--I'm not much into crime fiction--though I make an exception for Kate Atkinson's Jackson Brodie series--so I haven't read them; I'm just suggesting an example of what one might think people would find unpalatable.)

 

I am SO glad you loved Wonder--gorgeous book!  You'll have to let us all know what you think of J.K. Rowling's first for-adults novel.

 

Adele's voice is divine, is it not?  I don't think I will be drawn to see the movie Skyfall, but I LOVE the song.

 

I'm going to stop for a second and then add a different note that doesn't seem quite the thing to append here.  Have a safe rest-of-the trip back to New Jersey!

 

Peace,

 

Rek

 

 

 

 

[[re...]]

JMF, what a horrendous thing to have been through--that car accident.  As if life in benzo-withdrawal weren't hard enough already.  I hope you will get some really competent professionals working with you on physical therapy to help you convalesce.  Keep us posted if you can.  I'm so sorry that happened to you, but thank god you survived the crash.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[In...]]

Well I'll recommend some books as I've read them and seen the movies. Perhaps not everyone's genre, but very good nevertheless.

 

Author Cormac McCarthy and three of his best: No Country For Old Men, The Road, and his classic is Blood Meridian.

 

Different style of writing, but one of the best writers around.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Hi, Intend -

 

What about All the Pretty Horses?  I actually thought he was best known for that one.  I confess, though, that I haven't in fact read any of his novels--I tried, and found them to be not quite the thing for me, but he sure has a solid reputation. 

 

Any Annie Proulx fans out there?  She can be pretty disturbing, though--maybe not the kind of thing you want if you're dealing with lots of anxiety.

 

OK, I know this isn't really meant to be a literary forum, but I figure it doesn't hurt to mention books once in a while, especially if they can have therapeutic value.

 

I've just leafed through a catalogue I received in the mail a few days ago, and it includes a title I'm really interested in--Before Prozac: The Troubled History of Mood Disorders in Psychiatry, by Edward Shorter.  It includes discussions of benzodiazepines--if you go to Amazon, you can look inside the book and check out the index.  Our library system doesn't have this title, but the catalogue I got offers it for half-price, so I'm really tempted.  The only thing is, it's likely to get me all up in arms, once again, against the medico-pharmaceutical conspiracy that got us all hooked on these wretched pills.

 

Good night, all -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

 

 

[[In...]]

Rek,

 

Well, I have not read All The Pretty Horses. Cormac McCarthey is an author I discovered "late in life." I've read much over the years and somehow missed him. I was rather surprised to realize this, as I've read many contemporary classics.

 

I saw positive review of the movie No Country For Old Men, and wondered how on earth I had missed this author. That led me to reading the book before the movie, and the same for The Road; book first, then movie.

 

By then I was researching his books and read that he  evolved much as an author as he started very young, based a lot of his writings in the south where he lived and primarily Tennessee. Much of his early writings were from that area and time in his life.

 

But he and his first wife divorced, and somewhere in all this, he began to investigate the old west and how it came to be settled. All The Pretty Horses came from that time in his life. And of course, a movie was made of it, but I didn't see it as I was younger and uninterested. About this time, he did really major research on the true, difficult and realistic  settling of the west. And from that, he wrote Blood Meridian in 1984. It's considered his true masterpiece, and it is. There has been much talk of making the movie, but many directors have given up as it's considered too realistic to do it justice.

 

So I always recommend it to people; especially those who talk of going back to "survival" without any laws or government. Not that this group is saying that in any way, but I do hear of this plenty nowadays. It's just very good, and nothing but his later novels compare to this. He is older now; 78 perhaps, and lives in New Mexico. His writing style is unique, and not everyone likes it for sure. But for true realism and real history, it's unbeatable IMO.

 

Yes I like Annie Proulx. Reading generally doesn't cause me anxiety. I just have not focused on it as much lately. I am too absorbed by my benzo situation, but it's good to discuss other subjects as I know there is real life out there. I used to focus more on that than I do now.

 

Intend

[[ja...]]

I know this isn't a literary forum either, so I'll just say I also love Annie Proulx - discovered her when I worked for The New York Times about 5 years ago. I happen to love Western/Midwestern culture, loved living there in my 20s. Thanks for all the suggestions!

 

Now, back to those pesky Klonopin w/d symptoms...Thank God I don't have any tonight. 

 

Sleep well and see you guys in the morning.

[[re...]]

So, Intend and Jax, have you read Wallace Stegman?  I've only read a couple of his, but want to read more.  He hails from the western part of the country as well, about a generation before Annie Proulx and Cormac McCarthy.

 

Jax, I was chuckling again over your reference to Diaz, and wondering whether Springsteen, up close and personal, would also come across as a Jersey boy "with all the obnoxious trimmings"!  Meanwhile, glad you weren't feeling symptoms as of bedtime last night--I hope you had a peaceful night; you were probably more than a bit road-weary.

 

Good morning, all--how are you?  It's back to work for me and others--of course, for some (like you, Intend), "back to work" already happened.  I hope everyone slept well.  I'm doing all right, and basically just checking in. 

 

Wondering how Misery and MustLoveDogs are doing--you've sent up some of the more recent distress signals.  Update us if you can.

 

And Lizie?  Lynn?  Genoa?

 

Some we haven't heard from for a while, like BrianRecovering--how are you?  And has anyone heard from BookLamp lately?

 

And there are many others I'm not intentionally leaving out--I just have to cede the computer to my husband and go finish breakfast before trudging off to the train station--

 

Be well -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[re...]]

Sorry, Wallace STEGNER, not Stegman!  Was that brain-fog talking, or just overall Monday-morning haziness??  I have no idea!  Anyway, he was a great writer . . .  Stegner, that is; I have no idea who this impostor "Stegman" may be!!!

 

Hope everyone else's Monday is starting off well.  Thinking of you all -

 

Rek