The Klonopin Klub

[[ja...]]

Morning, everyone! If anyone was just coming into our discussion, we had gone off on a tangent about good authors and good books to read. Bringing it back to the Klonopin Klub, someone had suggested a while back that reading was a nice escape from the sxs that plague us. I remember back about 4 months ago, I had no patience for a book during my w/d because I just couldn't focus. Now, hopefully at the end of the road, it's such a nice escape. Keep posting if you know of a good book - or another kind of escape. Rek favors tea, apparently 

 

It was great, though, to talk about other stuff that we were into besides the w/d sxs. It's good to know that we are not "our withdrawal symptoms". We're all so multifaceted and wonderful - just a good thing to remember how multi-dimensional we all are. We Are Not Our Symptoms. However, this is a forum for us to discuss our symptoms and struggles and joys, and I'm so glad we have this.

 

I don't know if this is too invasive into anonymity, but maybe some of us should start a book group either through a book-group forum or through personal email. Thoughts?

 

Slept great last night! No nightmares, either. The dreams weren't good, but they didn't wake me up in a cold sweat either. Maybe I'm turning a corner in all this? Really hoping so; this has been such a problem.

 

Rek is right...everyone reading this please weigh in and let us know how you are doing. The holiday season is rough on a lot of us (all of us?). It's good to hear people pipe up and talk. We're all a bunch o' good people. So...how YOU doin'?

 

I'll give BookLamp a quick hello to see what's up with him.

 

Everyone, please say a tiny prayer about my final interview this morning with the company I really want to work for. If I don't get it, all is not lost - I have another face-to-face with a different company this afternoon, and another final one on Thursday. So, hopefully one will pan out...

 

Have a wonderful Monday, all!

 

 

[[re...]]

Yes, Jax, I had also given some thought to our possibly starting or joining a different forum for book discussions, since we don't want to hijack this one for purposes unduly tangential--although I am in TOTAL AGREEMENT with you as to the notion that occasionally bringing in other topics is a good reminder to us all not to identify with our symptoms.  As I've observed before, our personalities may sort of take a powder when symptoms are having their malevolent way with us, but who we really are is still in there--perhaps just needing to be coaxed out with a little loving kindness . . . a gentle distraction here and there can't hurt. 

 

Meanwhile, I'm so glad you slept well, particularly with the interviews coming up.  And by all means, here's WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK!!  I hope the position you especially favor comes through, but it's good that you're able to see beyond that possibility to others that could work out well, too.  However it turns out, fingers crossed that you'll very soon be moving on to a much happier and healthier work situation.

 

I hope today goes well for all -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[ea...]]

Hello New Friends.....I discovered BB nearly 4 monthes ago when I was forced to aburptly stop taking both Klonapin and Ambien. At that time, I couldnt think straight enough and found BB sort of intimidating. Now I see I need you............badly. It seems that all the best information on this comes from the UK. NOT here in the USA.

    I have a major question. I guess now I am in a "protracted benzo withdrawal syndrome". Some of the horrible symptoms have actually gotten WORSE in the last 2 weeks. The insomnia, the sensory stuff....skin so sensitive even my cats whiskers irritate me badly. And yesterday a whole NEW problem: nausea. Couldnt eat yesterday, it just came back up. And for me this is really bad, as some severe medical problems have left me at 91 lbs and I am only 5'4".....This morning was able to get down a half cup of soup but my stomach is uneasy. Please: Is this "normal"? The worsened symptoms??? I am nearly at the end of my rope and depression has also hit me very hard. Your knowledge and support might just save my life. And I'm not kidding.

    I am sure someone will say I need to find a psychiatrist. Yes I know. But I live in a small town place, and because I used to work in the mental health field, I KNOW most of the psychiatrists around here, and theres only one who is knowledgable about addiction stuff. And I cannot afford his fees....am on Social Security and Medicare. Am scared that if I see someone who isnt knowledgable, he/she will commit me somewhere. Please help!!

[[ta...]]

Eastcoast,  it is very common for your symptoms to get worse before they get better.  Hang in there, I'm going through a very bad stretch at 5 months out right now.  Depression and loss of appetite are two of my worse symptoms and they do go away.  I have had some windows where they've been gone for a while but lately they've both been back.  Have you had any windows? 

[[In...]]

Just a quick note about literary issues: No, I've not read Wallace Stegner. Googled him and I see that he also called the west his home, as he lived and studied out this way and wrote about it.

 

I will have to see some of his books. For me, it's not so much the subject of any one book, although that certainly could be an important secondary issue as I surely do like James Patterson and his books and many others of that genre.

 

But with certain others, it is the message of the book and the factual way it is presented, but yet it remains a novel. These are what I see in McCarthy.

 

Yes, we are not our sx, but I won't hijack the importance of this benzo subject to become literary again soon; at least I should really try to get back to reading before I say anymore!

 

Jax, best of luck with your interviews. Rek, as you say, back to work for today. I'm here at home after another busy weekend.

 

Intend

[[In...]]

Eastcoast,

 

It does take time for the GABA receptors to "up regulate " again. And the recovery process is "not linear" at all. Linear meaning like a straight line/one dimensional, and non linear meaning MULTI dimensional.

 

Perhaps you already have heard this so this may be repetitive for you. But I see it as many parts of the brain (those receptors/CNS) having to interact and work together again. And thus, some parts will seem fine for a period, but since others may not be yet, when the necessary interaction happens, it of tens brings down the function of the other areas that seemingly were fine.

 

I suppose it could be like adding continuously to a strong chain, and then unknowingly adding a weakened link that weakens the entire chain for a bit until the weak link is repaired or replaced.

 

Well, I'm sometimes an analogy type. Having said that, You are not long off the benzos and not necessarily protracted at all. Protracted would be considered lasting longer than "normal."

 

From what I read, this time period seems quite normal. Nevertheless, I know this is very hard as I have been in w/d through a variety of benzo experiences for about three years, have experienced and am still experiencing many of your sx. Yes, this is normal. I do not think that you should necessarily see a psychiatrist at this point, and you definitely do not need commitment as you are in w/d, period.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Eastcoast, Tablasco has already offered some reassurance that what you are experiencing is not especially abnormal, however unpleasant and scary.  I want to add that it may be--and I submit this as conjecture--that your symptoms are somewhat extreme because, as you point out, you had to stop taking medication abruptly.  With Klonopin, as I'm sure you're aware, this is actually dangerous, but sometimes people have no choice.  So the good thing is that you seem to have come through without getting seizures from stopping the Klonopin cold-turkey.  The bad news is a version of the bad news we all got: there's no easy way through this--it takes time and endurance.  Three-and-a-half months out, I still have symptoms; they are not by any means as bad as yours, but I was not on clonazepam for very long, nor was I taking a high dose, and I wasn't taking any other medications at the same time, apart from NSAIDs (I've only just learned that even those can be interactively problematic, but not, I think, to the extent that a Z-drug like Ambien may be).  I did do a pretty rapid taper, amounting almost to a cold-turkey quit (.5 mg to 0, after a quick taper, in quarter-milligram increments, down from one milligram daily), which I speculate may be responsible, at least in part, for the persistence of some of my problems. 

 

Your situation is significantly more severe, particularly as your weight is dangerously low.  This may warrant the attention of a doctor, although the HUGE risk there is that a doctor may want to start you back on some drug of the same type that put you in this fix to begin with--in your place, I'd want to avoid that like the plague.  I do think nausea is pretty common--I had it, and lost a lot of weight I wasn't able to start gaining back until I'd been off the medication for a number of weeks.  You HAVE been off now for four months, so clearly your body is reacting differently from mine--I'm now actively struggling NOT to keep gaining weight.  I have no brilliant suggestions, but a few tentative ones.  There are some herbal teas that are supposed to help with digestive issues.  Ginger is my own favorite, but peppermint is also one that people sometimes cite, and there are others--a web search may be helpful.  I don't know whether things are so bad that you wouldn't even be able to keep tea down, but if you think there's a chance you could stomach an herbal infusion then it may be worth trying, in case it also helps settle your stomach enough so that you can keep down something more substantial.  Have you tried saltines?  They're the fallback option of women suffering from pregnancy related nausea, which is why I mention them.  Ginger ale is also sometimes recommended, although my reaction to that is: BLECH. 

 

Try deep breathing as well.  This has the potential to ease both physical and psychological symptoms.  Breathe deeply and slowly, at least ten deep breaths (more if you feel like it), and then, if you can, just sit quietly for a little while and try to stay centered on your breath.  If creative visualization works better to keep out intrusive thoughts, that's an option, too.  These are techniques that have helped many of us.  They don't solve the whole problem by any means, but they can bring a measure of relief.

 

I want to address the extreme sensitivity you describe.  I remember this only too well, and in fact am going through a version of it now--a flashback, or whatever, to my clonazepam days, although it's not nearly as bad right now as it was last summer, when I was repeatedly trying to quit.  Whatever the mechanism, clonazepam/Klonopin makes your pain sensors go haywire, an effect that can apparently linger long after you've stopped taking the medication.  I often couldn't find a comfortable position in bed, because even the pressure of the mattress on, say, my knee, was just too much.  This does pass.  You seem to be having a flare-up at the moment, but I think if you can find ways to relax even just a little bit the symptoms will subside.  They are temporary.  There may be ebbs and flows--I'm witness to that--but I think the worst will soon be behind you; so, at any rate, I devoutly hope. 

 

I have nothing particularly good to say about psychiatrists.  As far as I'm concerned (and I hope I won't cause offense by saying this, since you mention that you've worked in mental health), the psychiatric profession has a lot to answer for in terms of the irresponsible prescribing of a lot of the drugs that have brought so much misery to so many.  It was a regular doctor who delivered to me the Pandora's box of woes that is clonazepam, but many general practitioners these days have adopted the current psychiatric method of defaulting to the prescription pad.  It makes me so angry . . . but that's a tangent I won't go off on again just now--I've belabored my patient and long-suffering friends at this thread with my indignation on this score many times already.

 

Anyway, the main thing is, whatever is going on, please do the best you can to take extremely gentle care of yourself.  Ultimately, we ourselves are our own best defense against what these drugs can do to us, but it means striving to be pro-active about our own care, remembering that the fear (in my case, it was frequently all-out terror, for reasons slight or non-existent), the anxiety, the body-pain, and whatever other symptoms we have--they are not US.  WE are bigger than they are, but it sure doesn't feel that way when we're in the grip of the worst symptoms.  But you deserve to feel better, and you deserve the best care you can give yourself--and/or get from other people.  I say this last by way of adding the hope that you have friends and family you can turn to in person, in addition to making liberal use of the BenzoBuddies community, who are absolutely here for you--we will do whatever we can to comfort and encourage you.  Please stay in touch as best you can. 

 

I think you'll probably soon be hearing from other people at this thread with pointers that may offer you some more specific coping strategies.  Meanwhile, persevere--things will improve.

 

Breathe.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[re...]]

EastCoast -

 

Even as I was typing, Intend's message arrived, so help was indeed on the way.  Intend has wonderful insights to offer, so I was thrilled to see her post for you.

 

Intend, just for the record, the Stegner books I read were Return to Laughter and A Shooting Star--quite different from each other, both great.

 

Enough literary stuff for now.  I hope all who've been having a hard time today is starting to feel better. 

 

Warm wishes to all -

 

Rek

[[Ly...]]

Hey guys I don't mean to keep needing constant reassurance but I'm

Having a rough patch the last two days I keep getting up in the mornin and then for hours feel pressure on the left side of my body ... Chest pressure and my left arm keeps getting kind of squeezed. My body also has this overall sense of uneasiness and agitation - kinda pressury and sometimes I get nauseus .. I know I have a good healthy heart that has been checked out so I know it's not a heart attack But after being a drug addict and almost having a heart attack when I overdosed I always get scared that I'm having some bad signs of a more serious problem . Sometimes I get sharp pains in my chest .. I've had stress echoes and heart monitor done and my cardiologist gave me a clean bill... So I know this probably is anxiety and withdrawl . I just guess I'm lookin for reassurance that this is common bc it scares the crap out of me because all those signs are symptoms of heart issues too .. Hope everyone is having a good day. Hang in there everyone and thanks for your positive feedback n support

 

[[In...]]

Eastcoast,

 

I also read Reks post to you. Such wonderful and practical advice. I also want to add that w/d from all benzos is typical of these sx. Seizure risk is always a concern when going off either too rapidly or as in a cold turkey. This problem is not exclusive to klonopin at all.

 

But as Rek says, you have passed that point. And your sx may also be very much complicated by having had the same experience with ambien which is a Z-drug or also called a non-benzodiazepene. It also down regulates the GABA receptors for sleep purposes generally, but targets them nevertheless.

 

Many individuals are able to taper off them easily, while others find a taper off them to be as difficult as a full benzo. So it would seem you've had a "double whammy" with having to drop both as you did. I cannot say that your sx are "severe" for being on this combo for awhile and going CT, but you are indeed suffering.

 

I have had all of the sx you describe and have others and those right now, but not the nausea. I often have it, however, but have yet to throw up to say it like it is. I generally now have a complete lack of appetite, or perhaps better to say, I cannot feel that I am hungry.

 

A regular doctor could try you on Remeron which is an anti depressant that is famous for helping people put on weight, and of course there are anti nausea meds also like phenergan and zofran. You could certainly get these without seeing any psychiatrist, and you could be circumspect about any explanation. Nevertheless, these are meds again, and I don't know how you feel about that. Plus Remeron, being a AD eventually requires a taper also to get off, but this IS NOT like a benzo taper at all.

 

I think Reks suggestions of eating small meals, or soups, and soda crackers are really good ones. I would be very careful about supplementation from health food stores as many people find it makes things worse. Time is the answer. I have yet to begin my taper, so I will be following some of my own advice here at some point.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Hey, Lynn -

 

No need to apologize, ever.  You went off on 23 October, which wasn't all that long ago, so, although disheartening, it's not so unusual still to have fairly intense symptoms.  It sounds as though partly what you need to get a handle on is the fear about your heart.  Since you've checked out OK on that front, perhaps you can begin to talk yourself out of irrational fears for your heart--I think doing this may also help ease other symptoms, which are bound to be fed by stress and anxiety.  I know how irrational fear can rule when your symptoms are flaring, but--as I've been saying to everyone--please don't forget to breathe.  Even  just a minute or two of deep, slow breathing can bring your anxiety level down, and perhaps even make you feel physically a little better. 

 

You're a month out, and struggling, but still doing well, and getting off the stuff was an accomplishment--don't forget that!  Try to do good things for yourself: whatever both feels good and is good FOR you, whether it's something self-soothing you do at home on your own, or calling up a friend, or going out for a walk, or whatever.  It can be hard to overcome inertia, but activity helps--truly it does.

 

Hang in there, and don't ever be afraid to post asking for reassurance.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[In...]]

Lynn,

 

Since you have had your heart checked thoroughly, I'd say this is w/d. Perhaps a muscle spasm or general muscle reaction as benzos are muscle relaxers along with general body relaxers extraordinaire.

 

As far as the as the uneasiness and agitation, I'd say it's a reaction to the feelings in your chest and arm plus maybe cortisol which everyone (benzo folks and non benzo folks) have when waking up. It's a natural product of the adrenal glands that helps us get up in the morning, and goes a little haywire during w/d.

 

And the sharp pains in your chest; well once again, I'd say since you've had thorough heart testing, more muscle spasms. Hopefully these new sx will pass and you won't have them long. I think you have PTSD over your previous drug experience with good reason. It was scary, and often we don't just forget or get over that soon. You are entitled to reassurance. These experiences are very, very difficult.

 

Intend

[[Ly...]]

Thanks guys I appreciate the support !

[[ja...]]

I hope I am not just cutting in on your discussions. I just wanted to say that I am on klonopin and currently tapering at .125mg every 14-17 days. I know no one has the answer as we are all different. I tappered off klonopin once before 5-6 years ago and had no problems doing so. I had no symptoms at all. Today it is a whole different story and I am suffering quite a bit. Although I am still functional, I live to survive every day.Not having suffered before I can't tell what is to come as I continue to taper my current dose. Right now, my worst symptoms are depression, insomnia, dizzy, feeling drugged all the time. Although I sleep it seems as I dream all night long and this has not been restful. The one question I have to you all is, If I continue at .125mg cuts until the end will things get worse as the dosage reduces. I certainly do not want to do this microtaper or water titration. Has anyone cut .125mg all the way thru and stayed stable or not worsened in symptoms? If I am intruding to your discussions please let me know and I will not post anymore. Your comments are welcome

[[Ly...]]

Jack saint - hi how are you? your always welcome here ijumped ship at  1/4 less then .125 and ill tell ya what it wasn't that bad .

I found that onced I jumped it actually started to get easier . Then again I've only been on benzos for 4 months . I don't know how your symptoms  will be once you stop I just know that for me once I stopped it actually has started to get a little easier and I got off around the same dosage.  I hope things start to stablize for you soon . It's hard to jump off totally but from what I understand as long as you have been taking careful steps down its doable . Hope that helps . Hope you have a good afternoon . Stay strong gangsta

[[In...]]

Jake,

 

Absolutely no intrusion whatsoever. That's what a support site is all about. Apparently, because you are having somewhat unmanageable sx, you have developed dependency this go round unlike your last encounter with K.

 

.125 mgs is a lot to cut no matter what. You could try holding longer to see if there would be some settling of sx, but that you would have to try to see. As you get lower on your dosage, there is a good chance of even more difficult sx. And as I keep saying, I personally find K a difficult pill to cut.

 

I've successfully cut it into .0625 mgs by using the .5 mgs tabs and being very careful, but I certainly do not plan on doing a direct taper off of it. You have been on much less time than me (read my sig; most of my time is on Xanax), but even with K's long half life, it's obviously IMO not an easy one to cut small like Xanax is. But of course X has the short half life; hence my cross.

 

I am somewhat new to this thread. Others here may have had success doing what you're wanting to know about. I'll let them comment. I am liquid titrating off and using whole milk. But you might be able to cut those pills real small as I described, and jump off w/o too much problem.

 

Intend

[[...]]

rek - thanks so much for your kindness to me.  you are awesome

 

intend - you were on here in the beginning when i go on here last june i think. 

 

thanks for great writing and thoughts

[[In...]]

Pan,

 

Yes I've been on about a year now. Thank you for your kind words. Greatly appreciated.

 

Intend

[[re...]]

Hi, Jake, and I second Intend--there's no such thing as an intrusion at BenzoBuddies--one of its founding principles, as far as I understand it, is to offer reassurance and encouragement to ANYONE going through this who needs the support.  A bunch of us at this thread have gotten really well acquainted, but we sure don't mean to make it look as though anyone is excluded.  We happily welcome you, and will offer whatever we can in the way of advice or comfort.

 

It is unsettlingly true that we ARE all really different, so it's hard to predict how any given tapering plan will go for a particular person--this whole process is so unpredictable; plus it can shift according to factors we can't always clearly assess, such as lifestyle changes that we may not have known would affect us, or that we may not even notice we'd made: seemingly innocuous changes to diet for instance, or adjustments to sleeping hours--that sort of thing.  I'm having a resurgence of some symptoms right now for reasons unknown, although I suspect one cause may the fact that at Thanksgiving I ate a bunch of foods I don't normally consume (including some with additives I usually prefer to avoid), and am still finishing up leftovers of some of those foods.  Post-clonazepam my body seems to be hypersensitive to this kind of fluctuation in routine.  I must say, although it's not pleasant, I have a perspective on it that I didn't have before, so it's not really getting to me the way it would have a month or two ago.  I'm looking at what's happening (a return of weird body pain, even a bit of the burning sensation I thought I was DONE with!) and thinking, "Hmm, that's interesting.  Huh.  Well, it is what it is.  I'll get over it again, maybe when my diet normalizes."  (By the way, Intend's gentle reminders that this process is NOT linear, as well as the warm support I've had from Jax, Lizie, and many others here, have helped me calm down about what's happening.)  I'm telling you this in the hope of offering a perspective--a way of looking forward, because believe me it is NOT always going to be for you the way it is right now.  I know right now is pretty awful--I remember being in that place, or in one very like it.  You'll get past it.  What you won't be able to do is predict with any certainty the exact trajectory your recovery will take.  The suggestion I make to everyone is to do everything in your power to take excellent care of yourself.  In particular, avoid alcohol, try to eat fresh, mostly or entirely additive-free food, drink plenty of water, remember to breathe deeply whenever you can, and make any changes you can to reduce routine stress.  You may already have done a lot of these things; some of them you may not be ABLE to do--for most of us, for instance, it's tough to take stress out of the equation.  But do whatever you can, and be conscious that you're doing these things for yourself because YOU DESERVE TO FEEL BETTER.

 

Please take care, and let us know how we can help.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[al...]]

KEEP THE KLONOPIN CLUB ALIVE!

Klonopin has damaged my life considerabely. I was a high functioning person with a great job. I am now completely dysfunctional. Job gone and housebound. Some days I believe I am going insane from all my symptoms. From the constant depersonalization and derealization to the panic attacks, agarophobia, skin burning, tense muscles, insomnia, horrible dreams, apathy and many other mind boggling symotoms. Suffice to say I didnt have ANY of these crazy symptoms prior to coming off this visious drug. I hate klonopin!

 

I have seen two psychiatrists and neither believe that my symptoms are from my rather abrupt cessation from long term use at high dose of klonopin.  Has anyone else had this experience with psychiatry?

 

Also, does anyone elses skin burn all the time?  Constant Butterflies in the stomache feeling?

[[re...]]

Allen, welcome if this is your first time visiting--or even if it isn't. 

 

Yes to the skin burning--I had that pretty badly last summer when I was at the height of my ordeal.  Now, between three and four months off after a VERY rapid taper, I'm having some echoes of that symptom.  Nothing like as intense as before, though--I remember what that was like and it was very unpleasant.  I've never had butterflies in the stomach, though I did have nausea.  I think everything you're going through is normal for benzodiazepine withdrawal, and unfortunately the only way out is through.  But you'll get lots and lots of support here--please keep checking in, and let us know how we can help.  Take really good care of yourself--that's the most important thing.  Eat well, try to stay away from food and stuff that you know wouldn't be good for you even if you WEREN'T going through this ordeal.  You may want to read Jaxnj's narrative at Success Stories--what she went through, and eventually recovered from, is totally amazing, and inspiring.  Jax is also here at this thread, so you may also hear from her directly.  Take care, and keep us posted.

 

Pan, you are MOST welcome.  How are you feeling?  I know you are grieving.  When we lost our beloved cat some years ago, and each time we've lost one of our smaller pets (hamster or gerbil), my son has burned a candle in memory of that much-loved creature, and from time to time he burns a candle for all of our pets who are no longer with us.  Rituals can help, we find--I hope you've got one to remember your sweet dog by.  Take care of yourself--you know, since our animals have ways of caring for us, that your dog would have wanted you to.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[al...]]

KEEP THE KLONOPIN CLUB ALIVE!

Klonopin has damaged my life considerabely. I was a high functioning person with a great job. I am now completely dysfunctional. Job gone and housebound. Some days I believe I am going insane from all my symptoms. From the constant depersonalization and derealization to the panic attacks, agarophobia, skin burning, tense muscles, insomnia, horrible dreams, apathy and many other mind boggling symotoms. Suffice to say I didnt have ANY of these crazy symptoms prior to coming off this visious drug. I hate klonopin!

 

I have seen two psychiatrists and neither believe that my symptoms are from my rather abrupt cessation from long term use at high dose of klonopin.  Has anyone else had this experience with psychiatry?

 

Also, does anyone elses skin burn all the time?  Constant Butterflies in the stomache feeling?

[[mu...]]

Another holiday ruined by withdrawal.  Memorial Day in detox hospital.  July 4Th in bed all day with severe burning and sweating so bad the sheets were wet.  Labor day terrible sweating again, depression and anxiety high.  Thanksgiving day couldn't keep my eyes open, couldn't eat and nervous. Yesterday dinner with the kids terrible, in bed couldn't come to the table and eat.  Finally in the evening I was able to get out of bed to clean the kitchen.  I'm depressed and crying  because of financial problems due to my cut in hours.  I'm dreading Christmas .

 

This morning the dreaded morning symptoms were back.  Walked a lot outside in the cold to shake it off before I had to go to work.  My meals are cans of Boost.  Finally started to feel better at work .  I'm having a lot of knee pain and would like to know if that is withdrawal. I had a cortisone shot but that is not helping any. I may have to have that gel injected in the knee if the pain isn't withdrawal.

 

Some good news.  Mother-in-law not moving in with us.  She can't get out of the chair by herself and we decided we couldn't care for her.  Husband looked for nursing homes today and they are terrible plus wait lists.  Did find a private pay one that we have to use now since we are in a crunch.  Very expensive. 

 

[[In...]]

Mustlovedogs,

 

I would say that your knee pain is w/d. I've had and have the same problem. It was my first w/d sx, and then came cog fog.

 

I also had injections into my knees, and that made no difference. You could see an orthopedic doctor about this and get the gel. It most likely can't hurt anything. You may also just have weak knees, but I  would have thought the cortisone shot would have helped if that were the case.

 

Sorry about your holidays being affected by all this. I often feel like I'm "hanging by a thread" myself. It's just a rough go to get through this.

 

Intend

[[Mi...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Rek, I wanted to let everyone know I did research the Relora before taking it. It has helped me so much these past few days. I feel a little more relaxed, not so tense and I have actually slept. I had my first nightmare last night. I dreamed I was watching planes taking off and for some reason I dreamed of a car that was taking off and crazy as it seems I seen it take off and then nose dive into the pavement. I could actually see the people in the car after impact to the ground. So that was a little weird for me. I am just glad to have REM back and remembering my dreams. I did a research paper in school about dreams and it says that when we wake up and remember our dreams we have just come out of REM which is why we remember our dreams. So if your lucky enough to rememer your dreams your REM has returned when K had onced prevented you from REM.

 

But I wanted to say that since Saturday I have taken Relora one Cap 3x a day and so far so good. It has helped me function somewhat normally. I still have my symptoms but they are less severe. Somedays I feel like I grew an extra head and its floating as I walk. Feeling Dizzy sucks!

 

I am still taking.5 but I have found that I was able to skip one dose on Saturday I took it Sunday and skipped it Monday. Which is great.....I am not sure about what I am going to do after my .5 most likely hit up my compound pharmacy and see if they will fill a .25 and then after that jump depending on my circumstances and how I feel. Hopefully Relora will help me with the jump or functuning from day to day.

 

I just want my life back...I so wish I could excerise I can't stand gaining weight. There is nothing like feeling abnormal, depressed, and gaining weight.

 

EastCoast - I am from the East Coast as well, NC....and I have a new respect for people who find their bodies have become addicted to a drug and are trying to get off this horrible drug.

 

I wish I had never taken this horrible drug and I actually think it should not be given so freely from doctors seeing how it has such horrible withdrawl symptoms.

 

I also plan on taking Magenisum to my daily diet I see it has so many things it helps with. My benzo belly is still there but less extreme as it was....I think Relora has some help with it. After I eat it tends to extend and swell but it tends to go away to where I can stand it. When it swells I can't breath to well but when it goes down much better.

 

I can't wait for the day I can say I am off this drug and feel normal again. I honestly will probably throw a party to celebrate and people invited will never know why....lol

 

I was wondering if anyone else on here felt embaressed to tell people what is going on with you. I am completely embaressed to tell people. Only a few members of my family know and a few friends but I dont tell many ppl.

 

Ok I have rambled enough its 1am here and I am having trouble sleeping tonight I slept way into the afternoon today so I am up now. I will probably watch netflix or see what tv shows I missed on hulu. I so wish they had the IM chat I would chat while I wait to get sleepy.