The Klonopin Klub

[[Bo...]]

I can't believe I'm having a good day.  Well, a good morning.  No headache, no depression whatsoever, it's incredible.  I'm able to do things I want to do, I'm not worried about anything (though I supposed I should be, having been unemployed for five months).

 

I feel peaceful and calm.  It's wonderful.

 

I know it probably won't last all day.  But I'm so grateful this morning to be getting a reprieve from K WD.

 

—BL

[[br...]]

Hi to K-Club regulars and welcome to the new people!

 

Thanks for the support of the regulars: Jax, Rek and others.

 

I want to express what K-Klub has been for me so far.

 

In my daily life, I have family and friends to talk to in person and over the phone.  I see a therapist once a week for anxiety, depression, and life stuff.  I am a member of AA and get support there for my problems with alcohol.  I have found one friend in AA who is now 6 months off benzos;  but he was on the my same starting dose of K (4 mg) a year and a half ago.  He used the the Ashton Method.  We talk on the phone a couple times a week and he really helps me; as he is still recovering from the experience of being benzo-dependent and the trials of w/d - and I hope I help him with my experience.

 

But there is nothing like The Klonopin Klub.  The support I get here is so specific to the bizarre and sometimes overwhelming experience of benzo-dependance and w/d.  No one person can relate to another so directly and with such empathy as one who knows the experience from living it.  I can talk about being revved up or benzo-sick or having brain fog and I am understood completely.  I can explain an experience of derealization and people here identify.  I can talk about having headaches daily from the start of my w/d and I am not questioned as to the plausibility.  What is so important to me is that I feel you believe me.  People with no personal experience with benzo use or w/d may find some of the stories here a little histrionic.  But we know better; we know the experience from the inside and are in a unique position to support one another.

 

I believe that whether on high-dose, low-dose, tapering off or benzo-free, the benzo experience can touch every aspect of one's life.  So conversely, although I came here for support for benzo w/d; I end up getting advice on everything from getting a good night's sleep to eating better and meditating.  I read stories of people who are in the midst of suffering and stories of people who are claiming a day of happiness spending time with their loved ones.  These stories are often from the same person as their daily experience bobs up and down in w/d and in life.

 

The benzo experience can shake even the strongest person to their very core.  I read stories of people reevaluating their lives and making decisions about what is really important to them.  I think this is true of anyone that goes through something traumatic; as all humans do at some point or another.  So again, although I came here for support for benzo w/d; I learn life lessons; among them patience and serenity.  I can't control my w/d symptoms.  I can minimize them with measured tapering and suggested coping mechanism.  But ultimately, I must accept them as they come and when they come.  I learn to appreciate little things and have eyes wide open when a wonderful window appears.  I hope to be benzo-free one day and fully recovered from w/d symptoms.  But life will still give me joy and sorrow unexpectedly, despite being benzo-free.  I hope that the lessons I am learning now; I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

 

Thanks K-Klub.

 

I will be here for a long while - slow and steady.

 

brian

[[Ly...]]

Hey book lamp !' Glad to hear your having a great day!

[[Ly...]]

Brian!

Great positive message . It's really nice to find a group of people who understand

What I'm going thru. This whole benzo withdraw

Has been one of the scariest things I've ever been thru.

I'm on my way out the door but saw your post and wanted to say hello.

I've been gettin hit w alot of morning anxiety, dizziness , heart palpitations , Increased

Heart rate, headaches , depersonalization and tremors in day 36 of taper . Am almost free of klonopin at a dose of .0326. Appreciate all your kind words and support

 

I hope everyone is having a good weekend !

 

[[ja...]]

Brian - I am so very moved by your words about our Klub. It's actually become really important for me to check in every day, read stories, take comfort, have hope and give it. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is really interested in my life outside of K withdrawal, but then it all relates back to how I perceive things in life due to being off the drug, I think. Thank you!

 

Dulce...I'm in Sales. It's my job to remember names!  (And I also look back at who said what, but don't tell anyone)

 

So this was today. My first Autumn off Klonopin since 1992. Amazing doesn't cut it, my friends. The colors of the leaves were spectacular beyond belief! I mean, the bright orange and the red and the pink...so I have to think, is this year unusual? My husband says the Autumn is just like it always was. So I realize that I haven't really seen this season in ages. It was muted.

 

So much to SEE, when one is off the Klonopin finally.

[[Ly...]]

Hi everyone.

I am greatful for having found this board too....i hope i get to know all of you better.

i know its common to have up and down days but i guess recently ive been getting a bit scared with my conditions because everyday its a different thing. One thing is certain.. every morning i wake up with horrible anxiety that makes me dizzy. alot of times i wake up with tremors in my body..at least i think their tremors..or muscle spasms..or my heart palpitating..sometimes its hard to tell whats what...

anyways- yesterday i can feel somewhat normal part of the day sometimes but then the very next day i can feel dizzy and have a horrible headache all day...i am getting so close to the end of coming off this medication. i guess it just concerns me how random the withdrawal is and how it effects me...i am getting off medication to find out what my baseline is to see where my real anxiety level lies....i just hope this really is all withdrawal and not some sign of how bad my nervous system really is....im getting depressed.

[[Sk...]]

Hey There Klubbers!!  I had a wonderful day and night on my 11th day from dose reduction from 2mg/day to 1.75!  I went with family and a friend to a Christian concert in Mississippi and it was a blast!  I not only enjoyed the event but also enjoyed getting away from home and traveling somewhere else.  I spent quality time with my family and friend.  Come to think of it, Since I was so preoccupied with spending time with them and the concert, I forgot entirely about my withdraw all together as if it didn't even exist! I suppose I would be a good idea to do things like that more often.  Can't wait for my next dose reduction in only 3 days! 

[[So...]]

...

anyways- yesterday i can feel somewhat normal part of the day sometimes but then the very next day i can feel dizzy and have a horrible headache all day...i am getting so close to the end of coming off this medication. i guess it just concerns me how random the withdrawal is and how it effects me...i am getting off medication to find out what my baseline is to see where my real anxiety level lies....i just hope this really is all withdrawal and not some sign of how bad my nervous system really is....im getting depressed.

 

Hi LynnR,

 

Wow, from you sig profile you have been thru a lot. My heart goes out to you that you now have to deal with all these w/d s/x.

 

Getting off K recently has been hard for me too - each day it's something different. But one think I noticed was that the anxiety I felt ON meds was way higher than what I experienced OFF them. I hope it will be the same for you. Have you noticed any changes as your dosage decreases?

 

I also noticed in your sig you have taken propranalol - I found this to be a helpful med when my rapid heartbeat was getting to be too much or causing me to much anxiety. It had a tendency to make me feel a bit sleepy but I guess that was good at that time.

 

You mention you feel you are getting depressed - are you able to exercise or get outside at all? This combined with meditation and yoga have really helped my mood. That and getting my hormones checked out. My depression in the spring was evidently tied to my hormones.

 

I hope you can find some solace and send you healing energy.

[[...]]

Just an update....

 

I went to my family doctor today with the Ashton Method for tapering in hand, and explained to him that I felt he was trying to taper me too fast as I have been on benzos for 4 years now. He had heard of the Ashton Method, yet wasn't so familiar with it. He then asked me if I had ever considered going to rehab...

 

Hello Dulce, I sort of second what Genoa said.  Don't those facilities generally try to get people off benzos in a really short amount of time? So quickly in fact it's similar to cold turkey?

 

Maybe find out what the schedule for w/d is at the facility. 

[[Sk...]]

Hey all!  Today was a good day and am looking froward to my next dose reduction very soon! Hope you are all doing alright! 

[[ja...]]

Happy Monday Morning, Klub! 

 

Did I feel sick yesterday...blah. Better now. Just a bit foggy - I took an Ambien to sleep. I'm actually scared of insomnia, which is why I kind of have it. Been "nursing myself back to health" with only putting things into my body that are natural. One thing is Stevia...hard to believe something so natural is so gross. What an aftertaste. 

 

Had a weird day yesterday. Still dealing with the social consequences of being on drugs too long. I reached out to a friend I hadn't talked to in years, and he sent back an email saying, "At least you didn't call the cops." and "You need to let me go." I was totally confused! Of course I had let him go a long time ago - I've been married a year and a half - and even before then, he really didn't come to mind. So...what was this "cop" thing?? I seriously, honest to God, have no clue. I wrote back to him explaining what I'd been through, getting off the Klonopin having lost my memory. So he wrote back, saying "I knew there was someone decent in there."

 

So I'm sitting here wondering who else I might have hurt along the way, and not remembering it.  This drug is something else, I tell you. Screws with your personality, kills your memory, and you hurt people. Lovely.

 

Anyway, back at work. Love seeing all of your updates - another day to keep fighting! 

[[bb...]]

Hi guys! I wanted to join your club! I'm going to need all the support I can get in the coming days. I have eliminated my morning dose this morning, so I am a little scared of what lies ahead! I need some encouraging words today! Excited about joining in! I hope everyone has a great day today! 

 

Bballmom

[[kl...]]

Hey Klub,

 

I have a big interview today and I look tired as usual  wish me luck!

[[bb...]]

Good luck Klono! Think positive! I'll keep you in my thoughts!

 

Bballmom

[[Ly...]]

 

Good morning everyone

First of all Good luck with your interview Klonopinned!

BBallmom- hang in there ! i hope the adjustment goes ok with losing the morning dose!

 

Does anyone keep having this same endless cycle as they taper off benzos.?

I always wake up with intense morning anxiety that turns into dizziness,fuzziness, depersonalization and headaches in various awful combinations throughout the day..im hoping this isnt a sign of how bad my real anxiety is going to be when im totally off this medication.. some days are better then others....

i am on a dose of .0312  for the past 10 days and my doctor thinks it wont be a big jump to completely get off.. I however am terrified..

 

Hope you all have a great morning

 

 

[[ta...]]

Lynn, the exact same thing happens to me, add depression to the mix, which usually goes away mid morning.  It is hard to get out of bed, but I do make it to work every day.  I have a dull headache throughout the day and dread the mornings, all day long.  I jumped at .25 but I wasn't taking it every day, maybe every other day, or 2 out of 3 days.  I would take it in the morning to help me get out of bed.

[[li...]]

Hi Lynn.  The cycles are difficult, but you coped yesterday and you will cope today.  Try not to look ahead as the anxiety feeds on itself. 

 

I would keep tapering,  ....... you are nearly there ..... distraction and meditation help.

 

Lizie

[[ta...]]

Lynn, the exact same thing happens to me, add depression to the mix, which usually goes away mid morning.  It is hard to get out of bed, but I do make it to work every day.  I have a dull headache throughout the day and dread the mornings, all day long.  I jumped at .25 but I wasn't taking it every day, maybe every other day, or 2 out of 3 days.  I would take it in the morning to help me get out of bed.

 

Lynn,  let me add a positive note, although I do feel like this now, I have been better when I tapered once before.  I never made it past this point, but I will this time, after reading posts from this site.  I will get better and so will you! 

[[li...]]

Both of you will get better!  Stay positive ........ not always easy, I know ......

 

Lizie

[[Sk...]]

Hey Klub!  I have only one day left at my 1.75mg/day dose before my dose reduction to 1.5.  i feel great and can't wait to go down to my next dose.  Hope all is well with all of you. 

[[ja...]]

Tuesday! 

 

I wanted to share with my fellow Klubbers what happened this morning. Last night I decided to brave it and take no sleeping meds, no muscle relaxers, nothing. So I didn't sleep well - got up 3 times - dreamed crappy dreams when I did sleep.

 

I woke up in a panic - haven't felt that way for a while! I meditated, and then I decided to put mind over matter and turn the panic into energy. Like, to direct it toward excitement for life and for the day. And it worked, go figure. I'm happy to just "be" today. I'm tired but it's not a woozy thing...just regular tiredness. Maybe typical for anyone's morning.

 

That's really it today. Klono, how'd your interview go? Sky, good luck with your dose reduction! Brian, getting ready for Friday? 

 

Later, all!

[[bb...]]

Jax,

 

That is great news! What a way to start the day! No sleep aids! You are awesome! I bet you feel really good about that today. Positive energy is great. Make it a great day today. You rock! 

 

bballmom

[[kl...]]

Interview went pretty well.  She asked about 49 questions though and I wasn't prepared for all of them.  Crossing my fingers!

[[Ly...]]

Hey guys I need your advice on how to taper off the rest of this klonopin

I've been tapering for 36 days .. Have currently been at .0312 ( or the last 1/4 of the original

.25 klonopin I started out with) for the last 10 days..my psychiatrist thinks

That is a low enough dose to stop at and even tho I don't want to drag it out to get off this medicine or jump ship too soon I'd like to find a reasonable time to stop.

Don't have the math skills or patience to water titrate unless absolutely necessary

But don't want to stop so abruptly I hurt myself

I was thinking about going down one more cut and stay for week and then stopping

But would really appreciate any advice .

 

 

Also as I get off this medicine I see how bad my morning anxiety really is..

And I almost have dizziness all day. Is this a sign of how bad my really anxiety disorder is or just a transition. I'm always reading online about people who had anxiety disorder and never took benzos and had alot of morning anxiety and dizziness all day and then decided to get on meds.

 

I guess I'm just scared this is how bad my real anxiety problem is . This will be my first time without medicine since my bus accident.... I really hope this Increased anxiety and dizziness is part of the process of coming off this medication and not a symptom that I will have to accept of how bad my problem really is

 

I'm worried ( of course right I have anxiety ! Lol)

 

Hope u all are having a good day .

[[kl...]]

Hey guys I need your advice on how to taper off the rest of this klonopin

I've been tapering for 36 days .. Have currently been at .0312 ( or the last 1/4 of the original

.25 klonopin I started out with) for the last 10 days..my psychiatrist thinks

That is a low enough dose to stop at and even tho I don't want to drag it out to get off this medicine or jump ship too soon I'd like to find a reasonable time to stop.

Don't have the math skills or patience to water titrate unless absolutely necessary

But don't want to stop so abruptly I hurt myself

I was thinking about going down one more cut and stay for week and then stopping

But would really appreciate any advice .

 

 

Also as I get off this medicine I see how bad my morning anxiety really is..

And I almost have dizziness all day. Is this a sign of how bad my really anxiety disorder is or just a transition. I'm always reading online about people who had anxiety disorder and never took benzos and had alot of morning anxiety and dizziness all day and then decided to get on meds.

 

I guess I'm just scared this is how bad my real anxiety problem is . This will be my first time without medicine since my bus accident.... I really hope this Increased anxiety and dizziness is part of the process of coming off this medication and not a symptom that I will have to accept of how bad my problem really is

 

I'm worried ( of course right I have anxiety ! Lol)

 

Hope u all are having a good day .

 

I really believe it is the meds.  I've been anxious since birth but never experienced dizziness like I did coming off benzos.  It lasted at least 6 months of being dizzy 24/7 but now its totally, completely gone.