The Klonopin Klub

[[Ma...]]

Bennie

Hi! I am glad your pain is better. I hope it goes away for good soon. Full body pain is so awful. It is truly unbelievable what we endure  

 

Try,

Great job with the challenges. Yes, July 11th 

 

CD,

I am so sorry about your back pain. I wish I was well enough to have gone on vacation. I have been needing to distract from sxs and not talk about them. I also have been able to go out and do more things. I also have to really work at my eating. I also am doing more helpful things like longer daily walks, yoga, epsom salt baths etc. I have had a lot of appts including acupuncture, functional medicine, therapy etc. I also have been involved in trying to bring benzo awareness. I have noticed improvements cognitively, but it still takes me longer to do things etc. I really wish I had more energy as well. I have a lot of stuff coming up next week. I am holding until the 9th for that reason. I hope I can be around more. I am reading KK, but it is easier for through PM right now. I miss you! I think of you every day. I hope the cut is going well. You are so brave and strong 

 

I tried to post a quote, but its not working. I am off to take an epsom salt bath. I hope everyone is doing well for bz wd at least.

 

XXO Maya

[[Kg...]]

I saw this post from Colin that he linked to this one on another thread. I thought this would be helpful to many of us. 

 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=72390.msg973423#msg973423

 

[[ca...]]

I saw this post from Colin that he linked to this one on another thread. I thought this would be helpful to many of us. 

 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=72390.msg973423#msg973423

                                                                                                                                                                                  Kgirl I just breezed thru this and must say a bit confusing but did take notice to this part -Ashton used the 20mg V= 1 mg k only as a substitution for tapering not for therapeutic purposes ? Now I am all confused in just like how much benzo % did and have I dropped ? Oh Lord just more confusion !

[[Kg...]]

Can Do: What I read this to mean is that when we are doing the substitution which is what you did - you do the 20:1 ratio for V to K. If you are using it to be medicated - then you can't go by this ratio since you don't know how you will do on one benzo vs another.  And that is certainly the truth since we both know Valium acts totally differently than the K.  So no worries my friend.  Just keep on doing what you have to do to get off.

 

I thought this was interesting in why we should not do very slow tapers and how it doesn't help and also perhaps why cut and hold works better for so many people on Valium vs. the micro tapers.    I recall Clona saying that we should get in a rhythm and keep going because our bodies adjust to 'cutting' and that we do better as we get rid of the drug if we do a sensible taper rate. 

[[De...]]

Had a rough day guys, I am having tolerance withdrawal at 2mgs (1month straight at it from 3mgs). I am goanna have to updose a little.

 

Funny how just .25 gets me right back to reliefville, just goes to show how awfuly dependent these drugs are.

 

I wish I knew 3 years ago what I know now.

 

Bennie: I would really ask bennie jets what his updose reasons were i seen in his taper, was it too fast cuts?

 

Liberty: Hope you had an OK day I had a rough one.

 

Maya: If you don't mind me asking how is the V going?

 

Also, question to all do you take klonopin once or a few times a day. I am 4x. Or, trying to stay at 4x lol. was at 6-7x before psych ward.

 

Another sidenote, I notice as long as I hit 1.5mg's out of 2 mgs by dinner time i feel fine for almost the rest of the night, and can take my last .5mg anytime I feel like it.

 

However, all day getting to that point is hell.

 

I hope everyone is doing OK, i really need support right now guys. Feel free to add anything helpful.

[[Be...]]

Derek,

 

Benniejets is a she. I know, strange. Anyway. I updosed because yes, the initial 20% weekly cuts my doctor had me do were horrendous and they were still nipping at my heels even though I slowed my pace. I didn't have a clue at the time how hard this would be. I just couldn't stabilize at a tolerable place without updosing. I would say that it's quite common to consider updosing in increments of .25 or .50 mg—BUT really, I would be shooting for the minimum amount that helped, even if it's some odd number. That's how scales can help. And scales aren't hard to use. I hope you find a dose that works, and a taper rate that is tolerable.

 

Bennie

[[...]]

Good morning Klubbers.

 

Nice to see the new people here.  Good to see all my buddies.

 

I woke up yesterday with far lower anxiety than I have had these last 6 weeks or so.  It seemed so easy.  I was so thankful and am thankful to all of you for your love and prayers.

 

Man-Buddies:  this is going to be about my period for the next 2 paragraphs.

 

I am certain that the last 6 weeks being so tough has been a combination of dreading and then getting the European guest,forgetting half my dose 2 times in 2 weeks the end of May and not getting my period for 56 freaking days. 

Apologies to my Man-Buddies, but this is a Huge Deal.  Benzos wreak havoc in that department.

 

SO, at 2:13 a.m. I got it!!  Oh Happy Day!  Since Tapering K started, PMS has been a monthly(every 18 days sometimes,) Anxious Hell, but this time, I have been PMS-ing on Benzos since early June.  Now to get through this; the cramping and all the fireworks are fine with me.  The PMS part is over now, which gives me hope. 

 

This houseguest is tough.  It is just extraordinarily tough.  Her shyness is not a problem, it is her attitude.  I am growing by having to deal with her. It is like navy seal boot camp for a non-swimmer.  There is another family who might be willing to take our guest.  They are mutual friends of her family, but they have been difficult to deal with.  At this point I don't care.  Our houseguest is a little bit spoiled.  When my husband and son start rolling their eyes, I know it isn't just me. 

 

My sister called and my dad is still alive but doing worse.  This is as I said, like Navy Seal boot camp for a non-swimmer.  At least I am learning how to swim.  Actually, I think I am really growing more than I ever, EVER would have without the K withdrawal.

 

Please,  Please don't stop praying for me.  I include each of you when I ask for mercy, strength for each moment, and healing for myself.

 

SO MUCH LOVE to each of you.  Praying for hope which is our very breath. 

 

Nomo.

 

 

[[ca...]]

Good morning Klubbers.

 

Nice to see the new people here.  Good to see all my buddies.

 

I woke up yesterday with far lower anxiety than I have had these last 6 weeks or so.  It seemed so easy.  I was so thankful and am thankful to all of you for your love and prayers.

 

Man-Buddies:  this is going to be about my period for the next 2 paragraphs.

 

I am certain that the last 6 weeks being so tough has been a combination of dreading and then getting the European guest,forgetting half my dose 2 times in 2 weeks the end of May and not getting my period for 56 freaking days. 

Apologies to my Man-Buddies, but this is a Huge Deal.  Benzos wreak havoc in that department.

 

SO, at 2:13 a.m. I got it!!  Oh Happy Day!  Since Tapering K started, PMS has been a monthly(every 18 days sometimes,) Anxious Hell, but this time, I have been PMS-ing on Benzos since early June.  Now to get through this; the cramping and all the fireworks are fine with me.  The PMS part is over now, which gives me hope. 

 

This houseguest is tough.  It is just extraordinarily tough.  Her shyness is not a problem, it is her attitude.  I am growing by having to deal with her. It is like navy seal boot camp for a non-swimmer.  There is another family who might be willing to take our guest.  They are mutual friends of her family, but they have been difficult to deal with.  At this point I don't care.  Our houseguest is a little bit spoiled.  When my husband and son start rolling their eyes, I know it isn't just me. 

 

My sister called and my dad is still alive but doing worse.  This is as I said, like Navy Seal boot camp for a non-swimmer.  At least I am learning how to swim.  Actually, I think I am really growing more than I ever, EVER would have without the K withdrawal.

 

Please,  Please don't stop praying for me.  I include each of you when I ask for mercy, strength for each moment, and healing for myself.

 

SO MUCH LOVE to each of you.  Praying for hope which is our very breath. 

 

Nomo.

NoMo , glad your feeling better and I hope today brings you some peace and yep your in my prayers so keep me in yours. To ( everyone ) Good morning  @ Derek , sometimes during a cut it maybe too much and an up dose will bring your baseline up to a better place usually and the reason a few of us up dosed was we started cutting to much from day 1 like myself when I cut 33% in the first month I did slow down but I believe it is still messing with me , so find a good dose to get stable on and find a good % to cut and still stay functional . As for MR. Bennie Jets lol ! That got me laughing ~ Huggs to ALL ~CD

[Guest [Gi...]]

Good morning all,

Nomo- I'm so sorry that your guest is difficult. I hope that the other family will take her. I'm praying for you as I know that you have a lot on your plate right now.

Derek- Many of us ,including me,cut way too fast at the beginning. I have never updosed.I just grit my teeth and stayedat the same dose until I stabilized more. This is really hard and can be very uncomfortable at times. It honestly is the hardest thing that many of us have ever had to go through.

NYW and KGirl, Both of you are so close and I'm so happy for you.

To everyone, I hope that your day is as decent as possible.

As far as I'm doing, my sleep is getting worse.I probably woke up at least 6 times. I'm having strange, unsettling dreams with toxic wakeup which sucks. Yesterday, I felt like I was getting the flu or something. My head felt like cottonballs were in there. My ears-OMG they are ringing terribly throughout the day. I was on the raft in the afternoon just exhausted. Today, just exhausted. Hope that my head doesn't feel like that again. I really hate klonopin.

Hugs to everyone, Gilster

[[Be...]]

Hi Klubbers,

 

I woke at 4:50 am. Too early for me! Felt some reflux. Started iron supp at dinner last night and I hope this isn't why I GERDed and have a headache. Maybe my mouth guard is to blame: forgot I was soaking it in mouth wash so it was like sucking on a tic tac.

 

This has been a week of pain. It takes a toll. Mental and emotional exhaustion surfaced yesterday after the pain began to lift. Most days I know what I need to do to try help myself, and I do it, albeit in fits and starts. Advocating to get my health needs met has gotten to be a grind. Outcomes have been pretty unsatisfactory this week, and yesterday I hit a threshold of not being able to do one-more-thing. Complete overload. Meltdown. Then I started feeling the edges of depression start to fold up on me, so I distracted. I realized after dinner that all I needed was for someone to say there-there, you are going to be OK. I needed a gentle place to land emotionally. Didn't happen. So I went to bed early and let sleep overtake me.

 

Today I am setting the bar lower for myself. I need a break. So what this means is doing something that brings pleasure. Like TRY challenging herself to go out of her comfort zone, I will challenge myself to find comfort in my zone. Not sure what that will look like. Not since that trip to the ballpark have I experienced pleasure, so I am due.

 

Nomo,

Glad to read about the GYN update! Also—whoa—big shift on the house guest situation! Seems like you are getting some very good perspective on what might need to happen.

 

Gilster,

Sorry about the sleep waking and all those sxs. Been there, so I understand. You may be a bit ragged on the edges but you'll get through this!

 

CD, WR, Kgirl, Burnedout, Bstrong, Derek and the new folks (sounds like a rock band)—everyone: hoping you have a decent day!

 

Bennie

 

[[...]]

Good Morning KKlubbers;

 

It sure is quiet.  I would love to think that is because everyone is feeling good!

 

Hi CanDo!  Huggs!

 

Another day to put one foot in front of the other.    We watched Groundhog Day yesterday.  First movie I have been able to watch since Christmas.  It sure reminded me of how each day in the taper feels.

 

Nomo

[[ca...]]

Good Morning KKlubbers;

 

It sure is quiet.  I would love to think that is because everyone is feeling good!

 

Hi CanDo!  Huggs!

 

Another day to put one foot in front of the other.    We watched Groundhog Day yesterday.  First movie I have been able to watch since Christmas.  It sure reminded me of how each day in the taper feels.

 

Nomo

Nomo , goodmorning and to everyone else I wish a great day ! Huggs ~CD

[[ca...]]

HI there KK

 

I miss you guys. I am now on the z thread which is nice but not as active as this thread and I get lonely there- so I decided that as an old timer on the K I wil visit here too. I finished my K tapper six months ago and am now starting my z tapper.

On many levels I feel better. Anxiety is totally gone yet I do have significant neurological issues. I am so happy to be off the K. I can really feel the relief off this drug. Yet I do Know that I will not be able to really heal until I get off the z.

 

I will come and visit soon again. Feel i do need the community and support that this thread can offer and hope you will still have me although my main challange is the z drug now

 

Much love

 

Carem

 

 

[[Kg...]]

HI there KK

 

I miss you guys. I am now on the z thread which is nice but not as active as this thread and I get lonely there- so I decided that as an old timer on the K I wil visit here too. I finished my K tapper six months ago and am now starting my z tapper.

On many levels I feel better. Anxiety is totally gone yet I do have significant neurological issues. I am so happy to be off the K. I can really feel the relief off this drug. Yet I do Know that I will not be able to really heal until I get off the z.

 

I will come and visit soon again. Feel i do need the community and support that this thread can offer and hope you will still have me although my main challange is the z drug now

 

Much love

 

Carem

 

Carem so good to see you hear. I think of you all the time and I wondered how you were doing.  I am so glad to hear that you are successfully off of the K and feel well enough to taper drug # 2.  As for me of course you can post here - post away, complain away and stay awhile. 

 

Nomo yep we are living in groundhog day but one day we will wake up and we will get to hear a different song on the radio!!!

 

Can Do have a great day too.

 

Another scorcher in FL - this is 'summer' which I hate here.  I am on poppy seeds and I can barely see what I am taking. 

 

I hope everyone has a great 4th of July weekend. 

[[Be...]]

Hey—

4:50 on the dot, awake again.

Morning Carem, Nomo, CD, Kgirl.

Hoping it's a good one for all.

Happy 4th weekend.

Bennie

[[ca...]]

I guess my early morning bit is wearing off on a few here? Maybe start a new thread call it the Breakfast Club lol. Good morning Kgirl, Bennie & Carem  cool here this morning only getting up to the low 70`s and I got left at home as everyone took of to NJ for a Super Hero Marvel character convention not my kinda gig so just Me and the Pup`s for a couple of days so if I can remember where I put them sticks of TNT I can have some Fireworks but then again maybe not such a great idea ?

[[NY...]]

Good morning all 

 

Great to hear from you Carmen. Sorry some of the neurological sxs are sticking around, but I'm sure they'll fade away as you continue your Z taper.  Hope work and everything is going well.

 

Kgirl, we're in the final countdown  .  I have six minuscule flecks left in my pillbox, and the rest I doused with water and tossed in the trash last night.  Wow, that is a good feeling! 

 

Nomo, glad you've gotten some relief with the start of your P.  The PMS/WD hybrid horror is something that's gotten progressively better as I've lowered my dose, and hope it does for you also. I'm actually finishing off this final week of K with PMS (due in 5 days), and so far pretty steady.

 

CD, hope you're feeling okay after your last cut?

 

Hi Bennie 

 

Husband is away for the next 12 days, so I have a very quiet house.  I've been moving through this last leg gently, but staying busy.  The symptoms that seem to be with me at the end are plugged ears off/on, and waves of adrenaline, but very brief.  They pass through quickly, and don't hook my mind, just my body.  I get them while I'm swimming, shopping, walking, or at home relaxing - no rhyme/reason. 

 

I'm thinking of you all, sending my love.

 

Big hugs,

WR

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ca...]]

Good morning all 

 

Great to hear from you Carmen. Sorry some of the neurological sxs are sticking around, but I'm sure they'll fade away as you continue your Z taper.  Hope work and everything is going well.

 

Kgirl, we're in the final countdown  .  I have six minuscule flecks left in my pillbox, and the rest I doused with water and tossed in the trash last night.  Wow, that is a good feeling! 

 

Nomo, glad you've gotten some relief with the start of your P.  The PMS/WD hybrid horror is something that's gotten progressively better as I've lowered my dose, and hope it does for you also. I'm actually finishing off this final week of K with PMS (due in 5 days), and so far pretty steady.

 

CD, hope you're feeling okay after your lat cut?

 

Hi Bennie 

 

Husband is away for the next 12 days, so I've got a very quiet house.  I've been moving through this last leg gently, but staying busy.  The symptoms that seem to be with me at the end are plugged ears off/on, and waves of adrenaline, but very brief.  They pass through quickly, and don't hook my mind, just my body.  I get them while I'm swimming, shopping, walking, or at home relaxing - no rhyme/reason. 

 

I'm thinking of you all, sending my love.

 

Big hugs,

WR

WR, geez we both got abandoned lol ! Glad your doing ok as for my cut it`s a bit whoo hoo but I been here before and will survive I think ? TTYL ~Need to take a ride into town may prove interesting lol !

[[NY...]]

Good morning all 

 

Great to hear from you Carmen. Sorry some of the neurological sxs are sticking around, but I'm sure they'll fade away as you continue your Z taper.  Hope work and everything is going well.

 

Kgirl, we're in the final countdown  .  I have six minuscule flecks left in my pillbox, and the rest I doused with water and tossed in the trash last night.  Wow, that is a good feeling! 

 

Nomo, glad you've gotten some relief with the start of your P.  The PMS/WD hybrid horror is something that's gotten progressively better as I've lowered my dose, and hope it does for you also. I'm actually finishing off this final week of K with PMS (due in 5 days), and so far pretty steady.

 

CD, hope you're feeling okay after your lat cut?

 

Hi Bennie 

 

Husband is away for the next 12 days, so I've got a very quiet house.  I've been moving through this last leg gently, but staying busy.  The symptoms that seem to be with me at the end are plugged ears off/on, and waves of adrenaline, but very brief.  They pass through quickly, and don't hook my mind, just my body.  I get them while I'm swimming, shopping, walking, or at home relaxing - no rhyme/reason. 

 

I'm thinking of you all, sending my love.

 

Big hugs,

WR

WR, geez we both got abandoned lol ! Glad your doing ok as for my cut it`s a bit whoo hoo but I been here before and will survive I think ? TTYL ~Need to take a ride into town may prove interesting lol !

 

  Drive safely.  Good to know you can handle a 12% cut Tough Guy!  Big HUGGS!

[[Kg...]]

Can Do boy the 70's sounds so wonderful to me. Can I camp in your yard next summer?  Drive safely.  Sometimes it is nice to be alone - but do clean up before everyone gets home. 

 

NYC same goes for you - glad you are feeling okay - so 6 more days - looks like the 8th? I will be done on the 9th if I can get the scrap to my mouth that is w/o losing it on the way.  I am in my usual s/x mode - electric jolts, anxiety, etc. but nothing I haven't had before and no worse - thank heavens.  And back at you!! 

 

Send me some cool breezes please. 

[[NY...]]

Can Do boy the 70's sounds so wonderful to me. Can I camp in your yard next summer?  Drive safely.  Sometimes it is nice to be alone - but do clean up before everyone gets home. 

 

NYC same goes for you - glad you are feeling okay - so 6 more days - looks is the the 8th? I will be done on the 9th if I can get the scrap to my mouth that is w/o losing it on the way.  I am in my usual s/x mode - electric jolts, anxiety, etc. but nothing I haven't had before and no worse - thank heavens.  And back at you!! 

 

Send me some cool breezes please. 

 

Hi Kgirl.  It really seems psychological at this point, but if I taper to the finish, the 7th will be my last day.  I'm so, so happy for you.  It's been a long journey for us both, and  it all just gets better and better from here.

 

So much love,

WR

 

[[li...]]

can do and all,

 

Ashton's equivalency charts are based on the anxiolytic properties the drugs.

 

Of course, aside from the fact that there are many other differences in binding, therapeutic effects are something very different.

 

To be specific, high potency benzodiazepines (clonazepam, lorazepam, alprazolam) have a relatively high affinity for the brain stem compared to drugs like diazepam. If you look up 'brain stem', you get the picture. Clonazepam seems to be the worst of the club.

As far as other drugs are concerned, I get the impression that SSRIs also have a strong effect on the brain stem (see references to 'panic disorder').

 

That probably doesn't help with solutions, but it may be why these drugs can be so physical !

 

I'm thinking if I should switch to diazepam again ... I know it didn't work out the last couple of times, but I can't stay on clonazepam either ... I know I have posted all over the place (forum).

I really want a better option.

 

That local addiction doc I talked about is no longer available, except for that flumazenil detox I talked about on this forum.

[[fi...]]

WR, congrats on being so close! My dose is getting low too (I'll be at 0.03mg tomorrow!) but I'm cutting a little slower than you are still so I have another two weeks if I go all the way down. I'm tempted to just cut every day and be done with it but don't want to mess with my rhythm - but then I'm like "let's be honest, I'm getting almost no - or none at all - therapeutic value at this point, it probably doesn't matter." But it eases my mind a little, haha. I started getting plugged ears too, which is new for me. That, adrenaline waves, and then stomach stuff is really all I have left, and occasional dizziness/lightheadedness. We'll see what happens when I step off, I guess.

 

Kgirl, congrats to you too, almost there!!!

 

Carem, good to hear from you! Stop in as much as you want. I'm glad to hear you're doing fairly well and hope the neurological problems start improving soon.

 

Bennie, CD, everyone, good morning!

 

As I mentioned to WR, I'm so close to being done. It's making me a little nervous but mostly exciting. My pill flakes seem inconsistent in size right now and weighing them is getting annoying. I get to do a whole week's worth today, oh boy. Eating is inconsistent right now - had a horrible weekend-long wave during my period and couldn't eat much. But I'm doing better lately, and yesterday although my overall calories were a bit low, I ate a wider variety of more nourishing things. (Including - and I was so excited about this meal - smoked salmon on half a bagel-thin, half an avocado, and a small bowl of sliced cucumbers. It felt like real food and a real meal!)

 

After I finish k I still have to taper off 100mg gabapentin, which I'm really, reeeeally hoping goes smoothly. It's such a low dose and I'll only have been on it for two and a half months, so I'm probably going to do pretty quick reductions at first and as long as that doesn't hit me too hard just try to get off it as fast as possible. (I know folks on here have CT'd off much higher gabapentin doses, but I do tend to be sensitive to meds in general so I want to play it safe.) I'm also slightly suspicious that my persistent nausea might actually be a gabapentin side effect and not a tapering issue, though I guess I won't know that for a while, if ever. Oh well.

 

Am planning to have a fairly quiet day. Hoping to get some yoga done before it gets too late in the day, while I still feel relatively well. Wishing everyone a good day and lots of calm, healing thoughts!

 

- Daisies

[[NY...]]

WR, congrats on being so close! My dose is getting low too (I'll be at 0.03mg tomorrow!) but I'm cutting a little slower than you are still so I have another two weeks if I go all the way down. I'm tempted to just cut every day and be done with it but don't want to mess with my rhythm - but then I'm like "let's be honest, I'm getting almost no - or none at all - therapeutic value at this point, it probably doesn't matter." But it eases my mind a little, haha. I started getting plugged ears too, which is new for me. That, adrenaline waves, and then stomach stuff is really all I have left, and occasional dizziness/lightheadedness. We'll see what happens when I step off, I guess.

 

 

 

Hi Daisies.  Yum, your meal inspires me to make something tasty for myself.  I'm not sure if my GI has entered a windows/wave period, or if that symptom has left the building.  Oh I hope so!  I have dealt with K/GI/food sensitivity issues for 5+ years now.  I have always believed my stomach just hated K, and maybe that's all it needed - to be done with it.

 

Sorry you have the ear plugging too.  This symptom has been like an annoying little gnat, buzzing around since February.  Still can't figure out why we get it, but for me it goes away when I swallow food, do forward bends in yoga, or just randomly 

 

This last bit, taking tiny crumbs, does seem odd, but if it make us feel secure, that can't be a bad thing.  I know had I not come to BB, I would have jumped a few months ago, but my landing wouldn't have been as gentle.  What matters is that we made it off (well, almost).  Woo HOO!!!

 

 

WR

[[Bu...]]

Morning all,

 

Nomo:  Groundhog day indeed

 

Carem-hope you feel better and better

 

Bennie-hope you are feeling  better

 

CD and WR:  my husband going home to visit his Mom for a week.  My "kids"  (young men now) will be here.  Hope we can do something fun.

 

WR:  Glad you are doing well and sooo close now-you go girl!

 

Kgirl:  so close too!  You are amazing!  Hope you can stay cool there.  My parents say a lot of beaches are closedwhere they are due to algae-not good in the summer.

 

Liberty:  hang in there

 

Daisies:  Totally agree that such low amounts probably have little therapeutic value but, it sure does ease my mind, too.  Glad you are able to eat more!

 

Hoping my sxs calm down this morning. Few windows in the last week- ramped up GI issues, tremors, fatigue/overall weakness, sound/temp/visual hypersensitivity, burning and anxiety/cog fog are kicking my butt right now...ugh 

 

Take care everyone!