The Klonopin Klub

[[my...]]

Steve:  so happy to read such a positive post from you  !!  :thumbsup:  Even if it gets tough again, you can remember feeling well...

 

Daisies:  Yes!!  Really important to step back and see how far we have come!  Even though I am months away from jumping I am so much further away from the 2 mg I started with....we are strong!!

 

WR...yes...no reason to rush...you will know when the time is right.    What a journey you have been on...and how much support and hope and laughter you have brought to so many...

 

To everyone else...Bets, CD, Coyote, Nomo, kgirl, Bennie, Maya, Burned and EVERYONE on this thread....have a peaceful evening/night.

[[...]]

Good Morning everyone!

 

It is great to read that Steve is feeling so well!  We all benefit when one of us rises up.

 

Day 12 of my hold at .5 .  Day 3 of our European exchange 14 yr. old.  Day 52 since my last period.  I awake to the usual terror, but walked again for 2 hours. 

 

Since I lost my phone last week and got a new phone, I can see how long my walks really are.  5 to 6 miles.  Gosh. 

 

I just checked out the Depression Board. ( I am a bit depressed.)  The titles of the posts were pretty intense.  I don't think I will read that, although I hate to think of the Buddies suffering.

 

I think it is safe to say I am doing better overall since a month ago, and much better since 2 months ago.  I am just so worn down and very rarely "good." 

 

Our 14 yr. old European guest is quite a book reader and doesn't seem to want non-stop fun.  School in her country is much more demanding than ours is here, so she is happy to sit on the back porch with her book.  Maybe this isn't going to be so hard.  My 22 yr. old son spent 2 semesters in her country and bonded with her family as I bonded with the generation before.  He considers her a cousin or sister.  They are both reading on the back porch.

 

Have not heard from my sisters in a long time.  Maybe they didn't receive my emails.  I guess maybe a mutual friend will call with news about my dad.  Stressful.

 

I guess I will go to yoga and stretch our my walking muscles.  What I would give to be able to nap!!

 

Love and hugs to all of you, my very dear friends.  I am so glad to know you and that we have each other.

 

  Nomo

[[li...]]

Benzogirl,

 

Do you have her phone number ? 

 

It would be useful to talk to somewhat with that level of knowledge, if we could get past the cliches.

[[ca...]]

Steve, glad your doing well Me was out at first light working so got some Cuttin done before the heat and on a good day I can only go a half day anyways errr! Hope everyone is doing ok ? Healing Huggs ~CD

 

[[NY...]]

 

WR...yes...no reason to rush...you will know when the time is right.    What a journey you have been on...and how much support and hope and laughter you have brought to so many...

 

 

Thank you, Mana. 

 

I have (very) tentative plans to travel 7/9-7/15 to see my family, so just a few days after I jump (and why I want it to go as smoothly as possible).  I know nothing in this process can be completely predicted, so I'm still taking things a day at time, keeping plans open, while maintaining a semblance of control by swallowing +/- .001 grams of klonopin  . 

 

Glad you're still feeling well. What's been said by many has proven true for me - windows continue to get better, even when I thought they were hitting 100% before.  Better and brighter days are ahead for everyone.

 

Love to all,

WR

 

 

[[fi...]]

Good morning everyone. Or, well, afternoon now.

 

Nomo, I'm glad to hear your visitor is more low-key than you expected. I hope that helps. And I hope you hear something about your father soon.

 

 

I'm doing okay today. A little better than yesterday, which was better than the day before, and so it goes. Feeling dizzy/lightheaded today. Wondering if it's low BP, so I drank a glass of water with a pinch of sea salt in it and am munching on salty crackers. Hopefully that will help. If it doesn't go away then I'll chalk it up to general w/d because salt in water and/or a salty snack always helps my BP.

 

It's not too hot here today. Hope it's okay for everyone else too! Sending lots of healing thoughts.

 

- Daisies

[[sw...]]

Nomo, sorry you're feeling down but it sure sounds like you have a lot to be proud of that you can pat yourself on the back for! That's a whole lot of walking and you know your brain is thankful!

[[B ...]]

WR,

So glad to hear your windows are getting even better, good news and encouraging for the rest of us.

 

Daisies,

Hope the salt helps you with the bp. Good that you're doing ok otherwise it sounds.

 

Nomo,

Sorry for the depression....hoping you get some relief. Hope you here some news about your dad. Prayers  to you.

 

Caretaker,

Glad there was a window, even if it was small. Perhaps more will come.

 

CD,

Happy to hear you got your cutting done early. Hoping the rest of the day is as good as possible.

 

Having a rough couple of days here....after a couple that weren't as bad. So hard to take feeling the strong anxiety and intrusive thoughts after what felt like a little relief.

 

Hope you have an ok day everyone else, Burned, Maya, Mana, Bennie, Kgirl, New Girl, Gilster, Coyote, Liberty, Swickey, Steve and all kk.

 

B strong

 

 

 

[[sw...]]

I've been receiving counseling from benzo wise Baylissa who I highly recommend if anyone needs someone to talk to. She's like a Jamaican Mr. Rogers, I hate when our conversations are over. She reassures me that all my crazy beliefs are normal and that I will heal. She theorizes (like me) that my problems that got me into this klonopin mess are latent withdrawals from my last antidepressant, but the length of time has been concerning to me but of course she is optimistic about it. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

[[ca...]]

WR,

So glad to hear your windows are getting even better, good news and encouraging for the rest of us.

 

Daisies,

Hope the salt helps you with the bp. Good that you're doing ok otherwise it sounds.

 

Nomo,

Sorry for the depression....hoping you get some relief. Hope you here some news about your dad. Prayers  to you.

 

Caretaker,

Glad there was a window, even if it was small. Perhaps more will come.

 

CD,

Happy to hear you got your cutting done early. Hoping the rest of the day is as good as possible.

 

Having a rough couple of days here....after a couple that weren't as bad. So hard to take feeling the strong anxiety and intrusive thoughts after what felt like a little relief.

 

Hope you have an ok day everyone else, Burned, Maya, Mana, Bennie, Kgirl, New Girl, Gilster, Coyote, Liberty, Swickey, Steve and all kk.

 

B strong

B strong, I am trying buddy as for good days it`s all waves and windows ,what keep me going is trying to remember the windows and just ride out the waves @ swickey, I will need to talk to you more about Baylissa  soon if that's ok and take good care of your Pup remember their mans best friend @ Daisies , you sound like your doing ok and it must be why the wild daisies are all out up here in full bloom @ WR, my eye lid under one eye swelled up it was hurting the last week not sure if it`s from a piece of woodchip or another funky w/d s/x oh and by the way I still got the face tingling bit and TT but it`s the new me for now so it is what it is and TG your doing AWSOME !!!!! Huggs to ( EVERYONE ) your all in my thoughts ~ CD

[[sw...]]

Can Do, anytime. Her website is Baylissa.com and you can book appointments straight through there. It's $50 for an hour and I highly recommend her. I've even called her a few times during freak outs and she didn't charge me. Goes above and beyond for folks in our situation. A great cheerleader.

[[De...]]

The wierdest thing happens now that I have been on benzos for so long, it just started popping up this past year.

 

But if I hit a withdrawal spell i get blurry vision and it is impossible to focus.

 

As soon as I take my dose it fades away. (Like I take the dose and the vision/focus gets better etc.,)

 

I dropped from 6-7 doses of .25 klonopin a day to 4x of .5, to try to consolidate.

 

It has officially been one months straight I have been on 2mg every single day. I have no slipped up once.

 

Do you think this has gotton more intense because I have dropped 2 doses.

 

I remember when I was taking 5 doses a day I was ok, maybe that is the middle ground for me because my brain just adjusted to so many tiny doses per day.

 

(FYI My goal was to stablize on 2mg a day, it has been one month straight so far)

 

Any thoughts on maybe trying to adjust to 5 doses

 

so liKe

 

.25 Morning

 

.5

 

.5

 

.5

 

.25 Night

 

Etc.,

 

I notice as long as I hit 1.5mgs by dinner time I am usually fine by the rest of the evening, even if I am late on my last dose. So maybe it is a frequency problem.

 

Again, I was taking 6-7 .25mgs (1.75mgs daily) throughout the day.

 

I never thought it would end up here.

 

Any thoughts really help!

[[ca...]]

The wierdest thing happens now that I have been on benzos for so long, it just started popping up this past year.

 

But if I hit a withdrawal spell i get blurry vision and it is impossible to focus.

 

As soon as I take my dose it fades away. (Like I take the dose and the vision/focus gets better etc.,)

 

I dropped from 6-7 doses of .25 klonopin a day to 4x of .5, to try to consolidate.

 

It has officially been one months straight I have been on 2mg every single day. I have no slipped up once.

 

Do you think this has gotton more intense because I have dropped 2 doses.

 

I remember when I was taking 5 doses a day I was ok, maybe that is the middle ground for me because my brain just adjusted to so many tiny doses per day.

 

(FYI My goal was to stablize on 2mg a day, it has been one month straight so far)

 

Any thoughts on maybe trying to adjust to 5 doses

 

so liKe

 

.25 Morning

 

.5

 

.5

 

.5

 

.25 Night

 

Etc.,

 

I notice as long as I hit 1.5mgs by dinner time I am usually fine by the rest of the evening, even if I am late on my last dose. So maybe it is a frequency problem.

 

Again, I was taking 6-7 .25mgs (1.75mgs daily) throughout the day.

 

I never thought it would end up here.

 

Any thoughts really help!

Derik , sounds like ID withdrawal maybe play around with your dosing schedule to find a happy medium ? @swickey thanks and will be talking to you more oh and I just fed my Pups lol ! Got 3 Pups here FWIW

[[De...]]

Derik , sounds like ID withdrawal maybe play around with your dosing schedule to find a happy medium ? @swickey thanks and will be talking to you more oh and I just fed my Pups lol ! Got 3 Pups here FWIW

 

It is absolutely Interdose withdrawal, so does that little schedule I drew up look OK? And do you know it drives me nuts, because i feel like insanely bad, and i take a pill to catch up and feel better.

 

It is legit driving my bonkers.

 

It makes me just wanted to do the accelerated 6-8 plan, but I know that's a bad idea (Was just in the psych hospital getting me down from 3mgs to 2mg and that was HELL)

 

I did it though and here I am.

 

But anyway, how did that plan I draw up look.

 

That seem ok to try? I think it does just checking.

 

 

[Guest [ha...]]

Can anyone tell me how to work with or eliminate brain fog; it has to be the most troubling of my symptoms. Some say eliminate gluten from the diet...it honestly renders me helpless...thanks.

[[sw...]]

HTC, When my incident happened I had stopped taking .25mg for three days and had to reinstate for taper. For me personally, ten days of holding did nothing and I accidentally took .5mg and was able to leave the house super excited. Once I realized what I'd done, I updosed to .35mg and was no longer agoraphobic and the unbelievable fog was gone. That's just my personal experience. I felt like an alien until I updosed. It freaked me out good.

[Guest [ha...]]

Thanks Swickey...to me, it's the worst of the symptoms.

[[NY...]]

WR,

So glad to hear your windows are getting even better, good news and encouraging for the rest of us.

 

Daisies,

Hope the salt helps you with the bp. Good that you're doing ok otherwise it sounds.

 

Nomo,

Sorry for the depression....hoping you get some relief. Hope you here some news about your dad. Prayers  to you.

 

Caretaker,

Glad there was a window, even if it was small. Perhaps more will come.

 

CD,

Happy to hear you got your cutting done early. Hoping the rest of the day is as good as possible.

 

Having a rough couple of days here....after a couple that weren't as bad. So hard to take feeling the strong anxiety and intrusive thoughts after what felt like a little relief.

 

Hope you have an ok day everyone else, Burned, Maya, Mana, Bennie, Kgirl, New Girl, Gilster, Coyote, Liberty, Swickey, Steve and all kk.

 

B strong

B strong, I am trying buddy as for good days it`s all waves and windows ,what keep me going is trying to remember the windows and just ride out the waves @ swickey, I will need to talk to you more about Baylissa  soon if that's ok and take good care of your Pup remember their mans best friend @ Daisies , you sound like your doing ok and it must be why the wild daisies are all out up here in full bloom @ WR, my eye lid under one eye swelled up it was hurting the last week not sure if it`s from a piece of woodchip or another funky w/d s/x oh and by the way I still got the face tingling bit and TT but it`s the new me for now so it is what it is and TG your doing AWSOME !!!!! Huggs to ( EVERYONE ) your all in my thoughts ~ CD

 

Hi CD.  I'm sorry you have swollen eye symptom!  Usually I get it on both of my eyes, but sometimes just one. I thought it was from histamine/allergies, but really I have no clue.  My lid is a tiny bit swollen tonight, and I am in a WAVE, but just riding it out.  Daisies, my organs are having hot flashes as I type. 

 

Hi Bstrong!  Good to hear from you.

 

Okay, hunkering down for the night to lick my wounds.

 

Big hugs to everyone,

WR

 

[[...]]

Derik , sounds like ID withdrawal maybe play around with your dosing schedule to find a happy medium ? @swickey thanks and will be talking to you more oh and I just fed my Pups lol ! Got 3 Pups here FWIW

 

It is absolutely Interdose withdrawal, so does that little schedule I drew up look OK? And do you know it drives me nuts, because i feel like insanely bad, and i take a pill to catch up and feel better.

 

It is legit driving my bonkers.

 

It makes me just wanted to do the accelerated 6-8 plan, but I know that's a bad idea (Was just in the psych hospital getting me down from 3mgs to 2mg and that was HELL)

 

I did it though and here I am.

 

But anyway, how did that plan I draw up look.

 

That seem ok to try? I think it does just checking.

 

Hi Derek 

 

Have you discussed this on the "planning your taper" section of the forum? That's the best place to get that kind of feedback 

 

If I were you, I think I'd divide the 2mg evenly throughout the 24-hour day as to keep plasma levels as stable as possible. If you have been dosing 6 to 7 times a day, it is possible that your body still expects that many doses, even if you are now on 2mgs.

 

What you do not specify in your plan is the times at which you take those doses or when you get the worst of the interdose issues.

 

There is no right or wrong if that works for you, but I would advise you to discuss your plan here  :thumbsup:

 

Best wishes!!!

[[li...]]

Yesterday I made a test cut of 0.25 mg. From 2 mg. Mostly, just to see how I'd react.

 

Not well. I'm mostly as if I'm 'not there'. I tried looking up some stuff about flumazenil and benzo w/d, but had a hard time comprehending things but mostly I was out of energy/motivation/focus (?).

 

Times passes slowly. I've had a whole bunch of health issues that were not attended to, and I'm supposed to get better by just reducing the dose. Pretty much everything is 'mixed up', that's the underlying condition if that makes sense. I've never been the same since that lorazepam thingie.

 

So what's the only thing I can do, diazepam ? I don't recall if I mentioned it, but that addiction doc I'd been in contact with will start working elsewhere so it seems there's pretty much nobody who's even remotely 'benzo wise' except me.

 

And I say: get your health back first. But how am I supposed to do that ? I got the 'not an illness' attitude, medical bureaucracy, incompetence, ignorance, lack of willingness to solve problems, years passing by, docs messing with me. I've been under way too much physical strain, by now mental strain too, sickness. I'm not young anymore.

Diazepam is supposed to fix that ?

 

Right now I'm longing for the time to take my next dose ...

[[de...]]

Hey buddies

 

I need some advice..i miss all of you so much but am just so malnourished and sick dont really even get on the computer anymore...

 

I have put on 2 lbs i am at 102.4 so i guess thats something..

 

I went to the ENT yesterday and he scoped up my nose and down my throat to my vocal cords..and even checked them..nothing..no masses no pouches nothing..he looked at the 4 barium swallows i have had done and said there was only one thing out of the 4 that he saw anything on and that could have been air pocket.

 

he told me you know you were on 4mgs of benzos for 34 yrs and they relax everything and it is totally possible that when i got lower it has constricted my throat area and well told me its called globus hysteric..i told him i had heard of that..

 

so heres where i would love feedback..as i got lower the swallowing got worse and more frequent i updosed once from 1.75 to 1.93mgs and i was able to eat for 2.5 weeks no problems then it came back..and now i am at 2.75mgs and no relief they are thinking i need to go back up to somewhere to see if i can get my throat to relax again and also see a speech therapist since its been 3 months without solid foods and also a nutritionalist.

the ENT said the only place there could be a block would be down in my esophagus which would need the endoscopy but hes betting on the meds cause the spot where its showing on the film is higher and he should have been able to see it..

 

my question is would i go right back from 2.75 to the 4mgs to see if i get relief cause i can always start my taper over again cause i am no sure just a small dose is going to pull me out of this.

 

i would really appreciate any feedback or help or if you need more info please ask..my primary said to cancel the endo for tomorrow cause not only of the risks but he also thinks its the swallowing..

 

 

i miss all of you so much and sure hope to get lots of feedback cause i dont know what to do

 

love you all

 

will be checking back off and on today

 

thanks for always being here for me and answering whatever dumb questions i have..i sure need some relief i cant sleep or eat cause all i can think about is that i am so malnourished yet they dont want to do a feeding tube cause of the sedation i am really weak..

 

big hugs

 

deep

[[ca...]]

Hey buddies

 

I need some advice..i miss all of you so much but am just so malnourished and sick dont really even get on the computer anymore...

 

I have put on 2 lbs i am at 102.4 so i guess thats something..

 

I went to the ENT yesterday and he scoped up my nose and down my throat to my vocal cords..and even checked them..nothing..no masses no pouches nothing..he looked at the 4 barium swallows i have had done and said there was only one thing out of the 4 that he saw anything on and that could have been air pocket.

 

he told me you know you were on 4mgs of benzos for 34 yrs and they relax everything and it is totally possible that when i got lower it has constricted my throat area and well told me its called globus hysteric..i told him i had heard of that..

 

so heres where i would love feedback..as i got lower the swallowing got worse and more frequent i updosed once from 1.75 to 1.93mgs and i was able to eat for 2.5 weeks no problems then it came back..and now i am at 2.75mgs and no relief they are thinking i need to go back up to somewhere to see if i can get my throat to relax again and also see a speech therapist since its been 3 months without solid foods and also a nutritionalist.

the ENT said the only place there could be a block would be down in my esophagus which would need the endoscopy but hes betting on the meds cause the spot where its showing on the film is higher and he should have been able to see it..

 

my question is would i go right back from 2.75 to the 4mgs to see if i get relief cause i can always start my taper over again cause i am no sure just a small dose is going to pull me out of this.

 

i would really appreciate any feedback or help or if you need more info please ask..my primary said to cancel the endo for tomorrow cause not only of the risks but he also thinks its the swallowing..

 

 

i miss all of you so much and sure hope to get lots of feedback cause i dont know what to do

 

love you all

 

will be checking back off and on today

 

thanks for always being here for me and answering whatever dumb questions i have..i sure need some relief i cant sleep or eat cause all i can think about is that i am so malnourished yet they dont want to do a feeding tube cause of the sedation i am really weak..

 

big hugs

 

deep

Deep, so glad to see you I have been praying for you and hoping things are getting better. As for your situation I am not sure what to say I may get a lot of shit for this but if you think going back to a higher dose will pull you out of this then yes but as you know we always here never up dose etc. so just know I will be supportive in whatever you do !Biggg Huggs ~CD

[[Kg...]]

Deep I agree with Can Do. At this point you can't worry about tapering or anything else except getting your health back.  I just hope the up dose works for you. 

 

Liberty I am so sorry that any cutting sends you into a tail spin but IMHO cutting .25 mg is an awful lot to start out and perhaps you should have stated lower - it is so hard to say with these awful drugs. I hope you can find something that works for you.

 

The sun is out, it is of course hot as the blazes here but nothing new about that.  I hope today is a decent day for my buddies here.

[[de...]]

Hey buddies

 

I need some advice..i miss all of you so much but am just so malnourished and sick dont really even get on the computer anymore...

 

I have put on 2 lbs i am at 102.4 so i guess thats something..

 

I went to the ENT yesterday and he scoped up my nose and down my throat to my vocal cords..and even checked them..nothing..no masses no pouches nothing..he looked at the 4 barium swallows i have had done and said there was only one thing out of the 4 that he saw anything on and that could have been air pocket.

 

he told me you know you were on 4mgs of benzos for 34 yrs and they relax everything and it is totally possible that when i got lower it has constricted my throat area and well told me its called globus hysteric..i told him i had heard of that..

 

so heres where i would love feedback..as i got lower the swallowing got worse and more frequent i updosed once from 1.75 to 1.93mgs and i was able to eat for 2.5 weeks no problems then it came back..and now i am at 2.75mgs and no relief they are thinking i need to go back up to somewhere to see if i can get my throat to relax again and also see a speech therapist since its been 3 months without solid foods and also a nutritionalist.

the ENT said the only place there could be a block would be down in my esophagus which would need the endoscopy but hes betting on the meds cause the spot where its showing on the film is higher and he should have been able to see it..

 

my question is would i go right back from 2.75 to the 4mgs to see if i get relief cause i can always start my taper over again cause i am no sure just a small dose is going to pull me out of this.

 

i would really appreciate any feedback or help or if you need more info please ask..my primary said to cancel the endo for tomorrow cause not only of the risks but he also thinks its the swallowing..

 

 

i miss all of you so much and sure hope to get lots of feedback cause i dont know what to do

 

love you all

 

will be checking back off and on today

 

thanks for always being here for me and answering whatever dumb questions i have..i sure need some relief i cant sleep or eat cause all i can think about is that i am so malnourished yet they dont want to do a feeding tube cause of the sedation i am really weak..

 

big hugs

 

deep

Deep, so glad to see you I have been praying for you and hoping things are getting better. As for your situation I am not sure what to say I may get a lot of shit for this but if you think going back to a higher dose will pull you out of this then yes but as you know we always here never up dose etc. so just know I will be supportive in whatever you do !Biggg Huggs ~CD

 

CD..its so good to see you to and thanks for the prayers but sure not getting better..and thats what i am trying to figure out some would say updose and some would say make a cut..i just need some food sleep and relief..cause i wonder what if i went back to 4mgs and got no relief then what would i do?? thanks for the support..what would you do???

big huggs to you too my friend!!

[[de...]]

Deep I agree with Can Do. At this point you can't worry about tapering or anything else except getting your health back.  I just hope the up dose works for you. 

 

Liberty I am so sorry that any cutting sends you into a tail spin but IMHO cutting .25 mg is an awful lot to start out and perhaps you should have stated lower - it is so hard to say with these awful drugs. I hope you can find something that works for you.

 

The sun is out, it is of course hot as the blazes here but nothing new about that.  I hope today is a decent day for my buddies here.

 

Kgirl..thanks for getting back to me..and i dont know how much to updose to see if i get relief...5mg a day 1 mg a day i need relief and quickly but not sure how much and how long it might take to work if it works..

hugs to you