The Klonopin Klub

[[Be...]]

CD, Maybe ice pack on your head too.

[[Tr...]]

Burned, I'm right there with you.  After my AM dose GI issues kick in big time.  Nausea, stomach is a wreck.  Head pressure, floaty feeling and benzoria.  The lower I get the worse I feel.

 

 

TRY

[[Tr...]]

I found an old post by Parker.  Please read it.  Hopefully, it gives us ALL renewed strength!

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Okay - so I want EVERYONE to listen to me.  I am going to list my ridiculous credentials, and then I want you to listen. 

 

I am a normal, grounded person.  I have a Masters degree.  I am a teacher, was a therapist, and now I'm a mom.  I've gone through - in my lifetime - some instances of severe stress - and never experienced anything like I'm experiencing now, in recovery. I have no psychiatric background, and I have never used illegal drugs and have only ever been a twice-a-year social drinker.

 

WE are in the midst of recovery.  We can ground ourselves.  We are "okay".  These things that are happening are a normal experience for those in recovery.  We are going to improve and improve. And things are going to balance out.

 

We may have very good days, and we may have some hard times.  Some of the HARDEST times for those who have healed come RIGHT before they are just "done". It can take several months of a great window after the WORST wave for someone to realize that the window is an open door. But this happens.

 

I have been at this 6 months.  You've been at this ___ days, weeks, months. It may take us 2 years. It may not. BUT IF IT DOES, WE will go on to LIVE and MAKE IT during the next phase of recovery.  We may ride it all out on here together. We may see new folks come and old friends leave, but we are going to make it.

 

No matter how hard this gets, we can be here for each other.  The AVERAGE time for healing is 6-18 months. That means this can be a longer process than what we wanted it to be.  But it does mean that it ends.

 

I have written to the following buddies - they ALL said it goes away - or that the very worst symptoms go away - and even if you're left with something minor -it ain't nuthin. 

 

- offandrunning (klonopin - high dose - many years - healed in less than 2 years)

-bybymatrix (klonopin and ambien- high dose- healed in 15 months - a few other symptoms after that, but only physical -now healed)

-regaudio (klonopin - healed 7 months)

-revolutionblue (xanax, then klonopin and depakote - healed in a little more than a year)

-sunny71 (klonopin - healed a lot along the way - tons of healing - much better by 18 months)

-pattylu (valium  - healed in 8 months or so)

-jaso19 (valium - healed by 15 months but big healing at 7 months and a lot of healing along the way)

 

These are people who MADE IT.  There are SOME people at the VERY end of the success stories threads that were HEALED IN A MONTH OR LESS. Some in a few months or less.

 

Bliss Johns reports that she has at least 5000 stories from people who write her saying they are NEVER going to make it - and then she is always getting stories from them along the way that they are improving. She followed them and the result is always the same. Healed.

 

The crux of this is that we know we are going to heal.  We just need constant reassurance.  And that is a-okay. 

If that is what we need, then that is what we need - everyday until we start to improve - everyday until it's done.

It's not an overnight process. But 2 years has 730-some-odd days. And so if it takes that long, it takes that long.

But we will still be here.  Until which time it happens, we are going to make it.

 

I was put on these medications becauase after the birth of my son, I had trouble sleeping.  Along the way, I was floxed with Avelox unknowingly, and still - I'm improving.  I can't tell I'm improving by compared today to yesterday. But I can tell if I compare today to January.  It's slow.  It's non-linear. It's unpredictable.  But it's happening. And healing is happening. And a final healing- one that is acceptable to me - is going to happen.  Perhaps I will have a leg twitch when it's said and done. But that is minimal. I can live with it.  And even so, that, too - will eventually go away.

 

We are tasked with only a few things:

 

- Hold on to one another for love and support

- Take care of our physical bodies the best way we know how

- Distract with anything that we enjoy - We are to be comforting ourselves as much as possible. This is healing.  And a broken leg needs tender care.  A nervous system in healing needs tender care, too.

- Reach out to one another when we need it.

- Allow acceptance to wash over us - and let this happen.

 

This last one is by far the hardest. Of course it is!   

 

But if we sit, quietly, loving our bodies, loving them through this experience, we CAN let it pass over us, wash over us - allow it to happen.  Relax knowing it is happening.  Relax in the mind, even when our bodies are symptomatic.  Relax in our mind, where we have a VERY STRONG knowledge, that we are okay.  Relax in our mind, where we know we are going to heal given just enough time.  Relax and not resist it.  Relax and let it wash over.  Let it wash over and through.

 

The way out of this is just doing this, day after day, until we are through it.  Day after day, we are here for one another, and will continue to be.  Day after day, things change. They improve.  They improve. They stumble, and still - they improve.

 

It is only a matter of time - YOUR time - OUR time - until we are finished and can look back with the satisfaction that we, too, have made it.  3 days, 4 months, 16 months, 5 weeks, 23 months. Whatever it takes, it will pass.

 

Today - be still and know it's happening. Let it wash over you as you take a shower. Let it wash over and force a smile. 

It is happening.  It will have a final end.  And it is only a matter of time.

 

5000 people is a lot of people.  We take a deep breath together, and accept that we are almost done.  We are almost done.

One more day.  One more day at a time.

 

I love you all,

:)Parker

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.5 Klonopin and 10mg Ambien for 2 years prescribed for post-partum insomnia.  Benzo free 10/3/11  Took Remeron from time of jump until month 12 after finishing benzos. Remeron saved me, allowed me to sleep, and eat. People fear other meds for helping get through withdrawal, but I healed underneath the Remeron all along. :)And tapered it intelligently with a liquid suspension when I was healed enough to handle it.  Healing still happens on non-GABA meds. No reason for fearing help if you need it.

[[Be...]]

Thank you, TRY! 

 

I am still trying to distract with something I enjoy. It has been very hard to do the last several weeks.

 

We are tasked with only a few things:

 

- Hold on to one another for love and support

- Take care of our physical bodies the best way we know how

- Distract with anything that we enjoy - We are to be comforting ourselves as much as possible. This is healing.  And a broken leg needs tender care.  A nervous system in healing needs tender care, too.

- Reach out to one another when we need it.

- Allow acceptance to wash over us - and let this happen.

[[NY...]]

Thanks Kgirl-may give it a try.  My stomach is burning now, too...ugh.  I tend to get nauseous/burning after taking AM dose lately...go figure.

 

Burned, as a way to throw off the nerves, try ice pack on top of head, back spine, belly (not icy cold there), and bottom of feet.

 

It seems all three of us at the end have this burning stomach symptom  .  Bennie, did you get this?  Did you find anything that helped? 

[[NY...]]

Thank you, TRY! 

 

I am still trying to distract with something I enjoy. It has been very hard to do the last several weeks.

 

We are tasked with only a few things:

 

- Hold on to one another for love and support

- Take care of our physical bodies the best way we know how

- Distract with anything that we enjoy - We are to be comforting ourselves as much as possible. This is healing.  And a broken leg needs tender care.  A nervous system in healing needs tender care, too.

- Reach out to one another when we need it.

- Allow acceptance to wash over us - and let this happen.

 

Thank you from me too Try.  Good reminders.  I'm so grateful for my KK buds.  :smitten:

[[Bu...]]

So sorry to hear that Try    I'm wondering if our bodies' are reacting to or rejecting K right now.  Sorry you are feeling worse and hope that turns around as soon as possible.  My taper was mainly doable these last few months but, guess I've hit a wall for now.  Sending hugs to you too-we'll get through this.

 

Bennie-will try an ice pack right now-thanks

 

Try:  THANK YOU so much for that post from Parker-much needed today.  So happy for all those folks healing-gives me hope..."One more day"

[[Tr...]]

WR,  Being that the stomach is the second brain, I'm assuming the receptors are extremely sensitive.  I get cramps, never know what's going to hit me and when.  I stay close to the restroom.

 

TRY

[[Be...]]

Burned, I'm right there with you.  After my AM dose GI issues kick in big time.  Nausea, stomach is a wreck.  Head pressure, floaty feeling and benzoria.  The lower I get the worse I feel.

 

 

TRY

 

TRY, WR, Burned,

Like you, I had flare of GI at end of taper, then some relief. And another flare two months off. Then at five months. Getting much shorter lived. No known trigger, food wise. I've considered a few things, but inherently I don't think it is the food itself but the struggle of the GI to deal without benzos. I was not on any PPI or acid adjusting med. Haven't been since six months pre-Benzo... The floaty head and pressure occurred around same time as GI flares, and they cycled fast. Very annoying, felt out of it occasionally. It didn't linger once I was off. Yes, it's awful, but we will get through it.

Bennie

[[NY...]]

WR,  Being that the stomach is the second brain, I'm assuming the receptors are extremely sensitive.  I get cramps, never know what's going to hit me and when.  I stay close to the restroom.

 

TRY

 

Thanks, Try. Sorry your GI has gotten hit too.  I have gotten so many stomach sxs for many years, but most of them are similar to IBS (D, C, pain, bloating, etc).  This feels different, almost like paresthesia of the stomach.  I hate it.  I ate frozen blueberries last night when it got really bad to try to "cool it down" 

 

 

Thanks Bennie, interesting head pressure went with GI sxs for you also.  Sometimes  ear sxs go away when I eat, sometimes eating triggers them.  None of it makes sense, but it's somehow connected (vegus nerve, probably).

 

[[Be...]]

Thanks Kgirl-may give it a try.  My stomach is burning now, too...ugh.  I tend to get nauseous/burning after taking AM dose lately...go figure.

 

Burned, as a way to throw off the nerves, try ice pack on top of head, back spine, belly (not icy cold there), and bottom of feet.

 

It seems all three of us at the end have this burning stomach symptom  .  Bennie, did you get this?  Did you find anything that helped?

 

My stomach did not burn, to my recollection. I was nauseous mostly, and lower GI stuff. More often I felt better to eat something bland. Now I get hot organs. Oddly I feel heat in my front if I put a heating pad on my back. Am I that thin??

[[Tr...]]

So sorry to hear that Try    I'm wondering if our bodies' are reacting to or rejecting K right now.  Sorry you are feeling worse and hope that turns around as soon as possible.  My taper was mainly doable these last few months but, guess I've hit a wall for now.  Sending hugs to you too-we'll get through this.

 

Bennie-will try an ice pack right now-thanks

 

Try:  THANK YOU so much for that post from Parker-much needed today.  So happy for all those folks healing-gives me hope..."One more day"

 

Burned I think my body hates K.  I feel worse after my doses.  Hopefully, this will pass soon.  I'd rather go back to the twitching eye as a symptom that Ninja and I had at the same time.  Some symptoms I can roll with.  This gi thing isn't one of them.

 

I did read on an old post that a lady had severe stomach pains, and almost went to the ER.  But, passed in a few hours.  She had tapered off K. 

 

I think nerves go bonkers. 

 

Stay Strong Burned, better days coming.

 

Try

[[Bu...]]

You too Try !

[[Tr...]]

WR, mine isn't a burning stomach, it's more like (D, nausea, cramping, bubbling).  I have always had a strong stomach.  Not a day of morning sickness with either of my children.  Guess those days are gone.  Plus, I'm aging by the minute in this benzo journey. 

 

WR, Burned, Bennie we are Tummy Buddies!

 

Try

[[NY...]]

Thanks Kgirl-may give it a try.  My stomach is burning now, too...ugh.  I tend to get nauseous/burning after taking AM dose lately...go figure.

 

Burned, as a way to throw off the nerves, try ice pack on top of head, back spine, belly (not icy cold there), and bottom of feet.

 

It seems all three of us at the end have this burning stomach symptom  .  Bennie, did you get this?  Did you find anything that helped?

 

My stomach did not burn, to my recollection. I was nauseous mostly, and lower GI stuff. More often I felt better to eat something bland. Now I get hot organs. Oddly I feel heat in my front if I put a heating pad on my back. Am I that thin??

 

 

That is what I mean - like hot organs, not really stomach.  It is hard to describe, but Daisies' "organs having hot flashes" is close. Anyway, disregard - I just had a "thought relapse" when I asked you about it  ... my new mantra: no need to understand why - it is withdrawal, and it will pass.

 

 

[[...]]

Hi.  Dang.  It is another day. 

 

Sorry Burned and Try and Bennie for the burning and pain.  WR, I couldn't tell if you are having burning now or had it before.

 

Deep, I am praying for your decisions and your peace.  I am so sorry for this terrible suffering.

 

 

 

I read Parker's old post.  I wish I could connect to it.  I am really, really struggling.  I can tell I am lucky to be able to eat and exercise. 

 

OMG.  My sister just texted.  My dad died.

 

You guys are my friends.  Please pray for me.

 

 

[[NY...]]

Nomo - holding you close. We here for you as best we can be.

 

You are safe, and you will be okay.

 

Deep breaths, all day.

 

So much love to you,

WR

[[Kg...]]

Nomo thoughts and prayers being sent your way. You can deal with this. Just breathe and call your pastor that is what s/he is there for to get you through these tough times. 

[[kc...]]

Nomo - I'm so sorry to hear your news.  I am thinking about you with love.

[[ca...]]

Nomo, your in my prayers !

[[Bu...]]

So very sorry about your Dad Nomo.  Thinking of you and sending you big hugs. 

[[Tr...]]

Nomo, praying for you and your family.  Breathe deep and slow.  We are here for you. 

 

TRY

[[Be...]]

Nomo,

Holding you closely.

Bennie

[Guest [Gi...]]

Nomo,

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I'm so sorry that you are going through so much. I'm praying for you and others that I know are praying for you as well. We are all here for you.

Warmly,

Grace

[[Gr...]]

Nomo- I'm so sorry for you loss.