50 and over club- withdrawal and recovery issues for the aged :-)

[[Co...]]

You're not alone, She.  I had a similar experience yesterday.  I was feeling more or less okay, and thought I might be breaking my cycle of having nightmarish weekends, so I thought I'd venture out to get groceries.  Then I thought I might feel up to braving Walmart.... bad choice.  It's just too over-stimulating in every way... too many people, too much walking, too bright, too loud, too many choices.... I got through it without breaking down, and spiralled into an awful depression all afternoon and evening.  The random cause and effect nature of some of these symptoms is just crazy... worry about a day at work, and then I can't move my neck or shoulders for days... eat the wrong food and have days of insomnia and night terrors... go to Wally-world and have two days of depression.  This just sucks.  I hope your sense of optimism comes back soon!! 

[[ra...]]

Been on Ativan since 2000 and Klonapin since 2008. I am definately in the over 50 category. Hope to join in. Do not have any definate plan yet, doctors would have to put me on 3 benzos to get off one with Valium taper. Do not have much hope that will happen with the crew I am working with.

[[Sh...]]

You're not alone, She.  I had a similar experience yesterday.  I was feeling more or less okay, and thought I might be breaking my cycle of having nightmarish weekends, so I thought I'd venture out to get groceries.  Then I thought I might feel up to braving Walmart.... bad choice.  It's just too over-stimulating in every way... too many people, too much walking, too bright, too loud, too many choices.... I got through it without breaking down, and spiralled into an awful depression all afternoon and evening.  The random cause and effect nature of some of these symptoms is just crazy... worry about a day at work, and then I can't move my neck or shoulders for days... eat the wrong food and have days of insomnia and night terrors... go to Wally-world and have two days of depression.  This just sucks.  I hope your sense of optimism comes back soon!!

 

ComingHome, so sorry you too have had a challenging day.  Walmart is difficult for me too.  If someone had told me 10 years ago that the simple task of buying groceries would become such a battlefield of trying my best to just cope, I would not have believed them.  All we want is to just lead a normal life!  Is that too much to ask for?  We can only look forward and hope our quality of life and enjoyment in the everyday returns.  I am normally an optimistic upbeat person but this demon has me on the ropes at times.  But I will get up tomorrow and no matter how I feel, I will take my early morning walk and water my flowers and feed my fish and make an omelette for breakfast and scan the newspaper and so carry on.  Perhaps those simple acts will be enough.  I hope your day is better, its bound to be!

 

She

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Been on Ativan since 2000 and Klonapin since 2008. I am definately in the over 50 category. Hope to join in. Do not have any definate plan yet, doctors would have to put me on 3 benzos to get off one with Valium taper. Do not have much hope that will happen with the crew I am working with.

 

Welcome RavensWing.  So sorry you find yourself in the situation to need to be on this forum, but we're all here with you.  Are you saying that you hope to transition to Valium from Ativan/Klonopin and taper from there?  Yes, having a benzo wise doctor to help you is a big plus, but often that is difficult to find.  Whatever you decide to do, keep coming back here and ask questions and post and we'll try to help if we can.  Sending you good vibes for the journey.

 

She

[[Fi...]]

SheWhoMust--

 

I liked your spirit yesterday.  So sorry you crashed today.  I recognize this as I did it over and over and over and over.  Nothing to do but hang in there and try not to do damage with the few people who may be hanging in there with you.  Eventually, the rollercoaster waves even out.  You look back and can't believe you survived what you did, but you'll feel proud that you somehow managed.

 

As long as your brain is compromised, life is tough.  But once you're well, those things that were simple before will be simple again.

 

It's the easiest RX and yet the most difficult---TIME. 

 

I have a lot of faith in everybody on this thread.  I turn 66 in a few weeks and 66 looks just fine when you're feeling good!

[[la...]]

ahhhh Wal-mart  Benzo heads worst nightmare

 

I find going into any store creates a perfect storm in my already DRAIN BAMAGED head

 

I made the HUGE mistake of trying to "run" in to grab a couple things today whilst already feeling like I was in the midst of having a stroke

 

by the time I got home it was not pretty at all

 

the lower I get on this crapola  the sicker I have become

[[Sh...]]

SheWhoMust--

 

I liked your spirit yesterday.  So sorry you crashed today.  I recognize this as I did it over and over and over and over.  Nothing to do but hang in there and try not to do damage with the few people who may be hanging in there with you.  Eventually, the rollercoaster waves even out.  You look back and can't believe you survived what you did, but you'll feel proud that you somehow managed.

 

As long as your brain is compromised, life is tough.  But once you're well, those things that were simple before will be simple again.

 

It's the easiest RX and yet the most difficult---TIME. 

 

I have a lot of faith in everybody on this thread.  I turn 66 in a few weeks and 66 looks just fine when you're feeling good!

 

Thank you so much FJ63!  Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me.  You all who have come out on the other side keep us all hopeful and looking forward.  You don't know how much we appreciate those who have healed sticking around to reassure and support.  Thank you.

 

She

[[Sh...]]

ahhhh Wal-mart  Benzo heads worst nightmare

 

I find going into any store creates a perfect storm in my already DRAIN BAMAGED head

 

I made the HUGE mistake of trying to "run" in to grab a couple things today whilst already feeling like I was in the midst of having a stroke

 

by the time I got home it was not pretty at all

 

the lower I get on this crapola  the sicker I have become

 

Hi LaineyK.  Yes Walmart seems to be the bete noir of many Benzo Buddies.  I'm sorry you are struggling so much.  I have heard many BBs relate how the last bit was the hardest.  I don't have any magic words but know that you are heard and we're there with you in spirit.

 

She

 

 

[[fr...]]

  Lainey, YOu are strong and will come out of this well and whole again, Ijust know it.  Hang in there but I would not make those big big cuts anymore.  Too much percentage wise.  Thinking of you.

[[la...]]

thanks

Free I am cutting only .25mgs  can't get smaller then that without MTing and I am not willing to drag this out....if it kills me so be it...I get HEAVEN

 

I feel bad that you are not able to go forward and start a taper..As you know that I will heal eventually , I too know that you will NOT until you get off the drug as brutal as it is

[[la...]]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If ever you feel that you don’t have the strength to see withdrawal through, think back to why you decided to come off the medication in the first place. Then think of all the pain and suffering you have already endured. Remember that every single symptom - everything you are going through - is a part of the healing process that leads to your recovery. You have come this far. You can make it the rest of the way.

 

I know that at times it is difficult to have any hope when the symptoms are intense and unrelenting, or maybe you have had no windows, or it feels like things are getting worse. Or maybe you have been waiting for so long, you can’t see withdrawal ever ending. Recovery has become an unfathomable and remote concept.

 

But whatever your circumstances, the reality is that this your receptors are healing and this nightmare has a happy ending. You may not be able to fully appreciate this good prognosis today, while in the throes of it, but the day will come when it is all over and you will be celebrating, just like those of us before you.

 

Know that the strength will come for you to make it to the end. In the meantime, see if you can normalize what is happening and then wait. Acceptance and patience are important, and the courage and strength will come. No, this is by no means easy, but when it is over, you will see that it was definitely worth it. Don’t give up.

 

With thoughts of healing and wellness,

Baylissa

 

 

 

[[fr...]]

  Thanks lainey,  I know all this in my head but my body is so stressed, well you know.  I can't take much more.  So so sad but I am happy for you and praying you feel better soon. 

[[...]]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If ever you feel that you don’t have the strength to see withdrawal through, think back to why you decided to come off the medication in the first place. Then think of all the pain and suffering you have already endured. Remember that every single symptom - everything you are going through - is a part of the healing process that leads to your recovery. You have come this far. You can make it the rest of the way.

 

I know that at times it is difficult to have any hope when the symptoms are intense and unrelenting, or maybe you have had no windows, or it feels like things are getting worse. Or maybe you have been waiting for so long, you can’t see withdrawal ever ending. Recovery has become an unfathomable and remote concept.

 

But whatever your circumstances, the reality is that this your receptors are healing and this nightmare has a happy ending. You may not be able to fully appreciate this good prognosis today, while in the throes of it, but the day will come when it is all over and you will be celebrating, just like those of us before you.

 

Know that the strength will come for you to make it to the end. In the meantime, see if you can normalize what is happening and then wait. Acceptance and patience are important, and the courage and strength will come. No, this is by no means easy, but when it is over, you will see that it was definitely worth it. Don’t give up.

 

With thoughts of healing and wellness,

Baylissa

 

Thank you so much for this wonderful quote. It brought tears to my eyes.

 

I see no one has been on here in awhile. I hope that means people are out living their lives.

 

Hugs and healing everyone.

 

[[bo...]]

Lovely to see the thread active again.. what a wonderful quote that is.. needed to be reminded of that ...

Life is ok for now.. like Lainey says .. the lower you go the worse it gets.. I have had new symptons that .I hadn't had before.. bladder issues and hotspots in my head and face... crazy stuff..

nearly there ..must remember not to rush this last wee bit..

Love to all xxx

[[Ju...]]

Hello all;

I feel a heck of a lot better and I am much more functional than I was at 22mg V, even 12mg V.

I've read some posts where 5mg is the marker for a big upturn (feeling better); not for me,

still crash a bit after each cut, but the time to stabilize is shorter, and my windows of peace are getting

longer and more frequent. I've taken enough Benzo pills to fill a Volkswagon.

I hope you all experience increasing days of peace near the latter part of your tapers !

You are all in my thoughts and prayers,

-Justaman

-J

[[la...]]

HA!!!  5 mgs is when things get better?  not for me

 

I believe I am in acute NOW..at 1.5mgs I am almost completely non functional now  I am having even moments of panic  air hunger...all sorts of new symptoms

 

I am in torture 24/7    I get only short moments of just crapola  and not sheer terror

[[Al...]]

Lainey,

 

Your not alone. I'm also at 1.5 and it is the worst it has ever been.    :'(

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

 

ATU 🙏

 

 

[[Te...]]

57 and 6 months off.

[[MT...]]

Hello fellow well seasoned friends.

 

I'm over 28 month and starting to see some improvement. After 4 years of multiple zero sleep nights every week I'm getting at least some sleep every night with most of my nights managing 5-6 hours. Last night I hit a record of 7 on my fitbit! It's very light and broken but feels so much better than being wide awake or just getting 2-3 hours.

 

Part of what's different is that I decided was to start living my life regardless of symptoms (especially fatigue difficulty thinking). So I've been doing more with people on meetup.com, meeting with friends, attending more events and even trying to learn again. It's not easy but it makes life feel more meaningful and time passes more easily. It helps take my focus away from how I feel and I've learned I can do a lot more than I thought I could.

 

This is a difficult journey but it is not beyond what we can do. There are times when it seems all black with no hope but that's another trick of our minds. The drugs took something from us but we're reclaiming our power and I think we're all going to be better after it all than when we started.

 

MT

[[ho...]]

Just curious if any of you have more physical symptoms in this age group than the younger people.  I suffer with so many muscle issues like cramping, twitching, spasms, weakness etc.  Also have the high anxiety as well. I understand the older we get that happens regardless but this is just horrible.  I also recently starting suffering from sleep apnea. I don't think its do to withdrawal maybe just long term use of clonazapam caused this. Not at all overweight and no other structural nose or throat issues as checked by ENT. 

[[MT...]]

HowdidIgethere,

 

I'm not sure if we in general have more physical symptoms from wd than the youngings but we seem to have more complicating variables. I'm recovering from CFS so have really bad fatigue with that, back/neck spasms (some from degenerative disc dz) and arthritis in my big toes to go along with my lovely collection of parethesias. The advantage I think we have is a lifetime of wisdom, experience, and skills for coping with misery and discomfort. It still sucks but by these ages we've already lived through some s#%$!

[[ho...]]

MTfan thank you for your quick reply.  I don't have any other health issues like arthritis, disc problems etc. I have been checked by so many doctors and I am sure they are starting think this is all from anxiety . They are quick to label you that especially when asked why you were put on clonazapam to start with.  Blah!  They really don't think its from trying to withdraw from the stuff.

 

I feel bad that you are dealing with a host of other physical issues. I should be thanking my lucky stars its not any worse.

 

I agree life has taught us many things but I guess I need to work more on my coping skills.

[[ti...]]

Me too, Im 53 almost 54 and I attribute my tolerance to sxs from being used to being sick, having suffered chronic pain most of my life, but especially these last 10 years.

[[Al...]]

HowdidIgetthere,

 

I am 61 and I find this withdraw process extremely difficult. I have committed myself to doing this despite the pain and suffering it causes.

 

I don't get a lot of anxiety but I am getting at this low dose lots of shoulder/neck pain, IBS stuff, a seemly endless bout of colds and such. Breathing issues, GERD and on and on.

 

I keep telling myself these sensations are disturbing but not dangerous and with holding most of them clear up eventually.

 

I agree, we have a life time of wisdom and dealing with suffering to help us along. From time to time however, with the crazy physical sxs that pop up, these can cause anxiety and at those times I need to dig down deep and exert my own will over the anxiety. Positive self talk, meditation and distraction go a long way to help resolve these.

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU 🙏

[[ho...]]

Thank you both All Tied Up and tinwi2016 I am so sorry you have lived your life in chronic pain.    I wish I could continue this taper and get this over with.  My daughter is getting married in November and I have put my taper on hold.  I am too afraid of becoming totally disfunctional right now.  I do not want to ruin this special time in her life with my issues. I will continue soon after and pray I am not one to suffer long after taper is over. I too am committed to bringing this horrible chapter in life to end.  I admire all of you on here that get it done. Right now I am in just a nightmarish tolerance/withdrawal state and feel horrible.

 

I do my share of meditation and positive thought affirmation but this is excruciating.

 

I pray we all get through awful mess and are able to enjoy our remaining years as a normal as possible.

 

Take Care!