50 and over club- withdrawal and recovery issues for the aged :-)

[[Sh...]]

I hear you WBB.  This whole mess kinda takes the fight out of us for anything else but withdrawal.  I'm so sorry you had such bad experiences with the medical community.  Issues that predated benzos.

 

I did not have a single health issue prior to getting caught up in the benzo tolerance and withdrawal.  I was active, exercised to a high level, was in great shape both physically and mentally and loved my life.  Just before, during and afterwards, I now have hypertension, high cholesterol, joint issues, vision and cataract issues, weight gain issues, inability to stay as active or indeed just do the things life demands of us.  Now, were these things inevitable as I aged, was it caused by the benzo mess, or did the benzo stuff simply accelerate what was already in process? 

 

Like you, I have to really think about what might be left as (I hope) the withdrawal recedes farther into the past.  I kinda think I will still be dealing with all of my current health issues forever.  Maybe just a lessening of the lability but never going away completely.  No long term plans for me either.  Just trying to find some joy in the day to day and whatever life holds in store for me.

 

She

[Guest [Mo...]]

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

[[on...]]

She Who Must- I totally get that feeling of looking at the passing of time and the regret for the years lost to benzos-in my case half my  life. I can get really really sad over it ( and I have and still do) but somehow I and all of us in this group have to find a way to look forward and hope we have some good years left post benzo. I was thinking about this exact thing last evening while having dinner with my hubby and I got very emotional. We all know here that life is short and we have to hope there are good years ahead to make up for the ones lost.

[[Sh...]]

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

 

Hi MG,

 

I have always been extremely nearsighted and wear contacts and glasses.  I am legally blind without correction.  But with withdrawal, I have noticed a decreased clarity in my vision, a "cloudiness" as you say.  I am also developing cataracts, which is new since withdrawal.  I notice a lot more floaters and flashers.  Now, what part of that is merely the progression of age related changes and how much might be benzo related, I can't say.

 

She

[[Sh...]]

She Who Must- I totally get that feeling of looking at the passing of time and the regret for the years lost to benzos-in my case half my adult life. I can get really really sad over it ( and I have and still do) but somehow I and all of us in this group have to find a way to look forward and hope we have some good years left post benzo. I was thinking about this exact thing last evening while having dinner with my hubby and I got very emotional. We all know here that life is short and we have to hope there are good years ahead to make up for the ones lost.

 

Thank you Ontheroadme.  I don't want to sound like I sit around moping about these issues all the time, I don't.  I am mostly getting on with life and finding things to be happy about despite the struggle.  I would call myself a realist optimist.  I know where this road ends for all of us, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. (thank you Mr. Frost!)

 

She

[[Ce...]]

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

 

 

 

Hi MG...same here. I go around saying "Geez, I miss my eyes!" all day every day, now. My vision is all over the place, but again...how much is age and how much is benzo w/d? We don't know. Cheater reader's used to work fine for me, now not so much. I do need an eye exam, however. Maybe I'll figure it out then...

[Guest [Mo...]]

CeCe,

 

Exactly, and will it go away?  On window days my sight is much better, not sure about cloudiness, been ignoring it until now.  I need an eye exam too, going to do that soon, it's been about 4 yrs I think.  Let's stay in touch and compare notes.  I have enough other issues from wd, and need another surgery, my eyes I don't need problems with, UGH!

 

Hugs & love, MG

 

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

 

 

 

Hi MG...same here. I go around saying "Geez, I miss my eyes!" all day every day, now. My vision is all over the place, but again...how much is age and how much is benzo w/d? We don't know. Cheater reader's used to work fine for me, now not so much. I do need an eye exam, however. Maybe I'll figure it out then...

[Guest [Mo...]]

She,

 

I wonder if any of the cloudiness will disappear when we heal?  I'm taking Zeaxeathin and Lutein starting yesterday, praying it will slow the progression!  Getting old is rough enough without these added dramas, sheesh!

 

Hugs & Love, MG

 

 

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

 

Hi MG,

 

I have always been extremely nearsighted and wear contacts and glasses.  I am legally blind without correction.  But with withdrawal, I have noticed a decreased clarity in my vision, a "cloudiness" as you say.  I am also developing cataracts, which is new since withdrawal.  I notice a lot more floaters and flashers.  Now, what part of that is merely the progression of age related changes and how much might be benzo related, I can't say.

 

She

[[Su...]]

She,

 

I wonder if any of the cloudiness will disappear when we heal?  I'm taking Zeaxeathin and Lutein starting yesterday, praying it will slow the progression!  Getting old is rough enough without these added dramas, sheesh!

 

Hugs & Love, MG

 

 

and

 

 

 

 

I developed a floater.  I've had vision problems through my life.  Nothing like this.  My eyes seem dry and cloudy also very light sensitive.  Vision is very iffy.  The last time my eyes were tested the new prescription really did not correct the vision.  Who knows surely if benzos affect the muscles and the nervous system the eyes are affected.  It is hard coming off this and having to deal with other health issues.  Best to you

 

 

Hi Gang,

 

My vision has been horrible since wd, but now looking at my eyes it seems I have the beginning of cloudiness, all the way around the edge of the eyeball, and much worse cloudiness top and bottom.  My vision was 20/20 before all this, and now it's terrible    I was taking lutein & bilberry before my withdrawal. 

 

Anyone else dealing with this?

 

MG

 

Hi MG,

 

I have always been extremely nearsighted and wear contacts and glasses.  I am legally blind without correction.  But with withdrawal, I have noticed a decreased clarity in my vision, a "cloudiness" as you say.  I am also developing cataracts, which is new since withdrawal.  I notice a lot more floaters and flashers.  Now, what part of that is merely the progression of age related changes and how much might be benzo related, I can't say.

 

She

[[la...]]

Thought I would jump in here since I read that you are having problems with your eyes

 

just had mine checked last week...thought for sure I had MD (macular degeneration) or cataracts...I stopped wearing contacts years ago due to EXTREME dry eye

 

vision prescription changed a wee but just since last year but no other problems...hazing of cataracts but NOTHING that needs surgery now

 

My night vision is bad...lots of halos around lights etc

 

would get a cloudy spot in center of vision when trying to read

blurred vision

 

so its either benzo or neurological

[[Su...]]

The fight is more poignant for us isn't it?  We don't have decades on the back end to reclaim 100% health and make up for all the years benzos have stolen from us.  This is on my mind a lot.  The passing of time.  I try to not dwell on it, but I can't ignore it.  Its hard sometimes to know what are plain old aging issues and what is truly benzo related.  We here on the forum are used to pointing the finger at benzos but is it really?  I don't mean those things that we KNOW are due to the drugs, but the issues that crop up over time.  Things that might be inevitable, but that the withdrawal has made worse at the very least.  Hard to know for sure. 

 

This time in our lives is supposed to be our last hurrah, to grab life and do all those things we wanted to do but were too busy working and raising kids.  My husband and I have a "bucket list" of mostly travel but I am too undependable to make the plans.  We do a few things here and there, but not the grand plans we had as we approached retirement.  Just ruminating on a Sunday morning THAT STARTED TOO LATE DUE TO THE TIME CHANGE!!!!

 

She

YES, SHE -

Most of us had a bunch of stuff going on in our lives healthwise before getting ensnared by these drugs.  I've been victimized by all kinds of doctors, too, in all kinds of ways and just don't feel I have the motivation anymore to address any more health concerns subsequent to this w/d (unless i land in an ER).  All the routine medical s**t and then some with my "underlying" conditions.  I've had enough!

Also, I have health issues that mimic w/d but had them prior to the wrongly prescribed Ativan and years later the Lunesta.  Did these conditions progress during my somnambulism on benzos? Did benzos aggravate them?  Will these conditions fall away after w/d like the "regulars"?  Will I live long enough to renovate the bathroom?  Etc. WBB

 

 

Got to admit this thread is supportive and humorous!!  Love the comment ."hope Ill be here to do the renovations".    Had to laugh at the comment only going to ER from here......... lol. 

Not much being accomplished here right now...apparently I'm definitely not one of the quick healers.  Cognitive function is returning very  slowly.  Do you have that nasty dizziness and a feeling of falling  over at times??

Decided no matter the weather and how I felt I needed to get groceries.  Oh my ........in the grocery aisle grabbed  the shelf almost ended up in the seafood bin.  Best to keep hold of the cart from here.  Thought that dizziness would be gone by now.  Have a peaceful day!  SBT

[[wa...]]

Hey Survivor - Is that a Westie in your pic?  They are good for healing.  I know from personal experience.  WBB

[[Su...]]

Hey Survivor - Is that a Westie in your pic?  They are good for healing.  I know from personal experience.  WBB

 

"Buttons" is a mixture of terrier ..poodle..And I believe shitszu.  He has been very protective.  He loves children.  He has been an amazing companion.  Very tuned in. 

[[wa...]]

On the surface it would appear that I'm Off Topic -- NOT.  Companions need oletimers like us to keep them company.  My gal is lucky that my latest malady: painful hip flexor will prevent me from shoveling (in the northeast) but I can at least walk her prn.  Buttons very cute, BTW.

 

http://i1152.photobucket.com/albums/p497/wendy236/Westie%20xmas_zpsiny1dz1o.jpg

 

[[Sh...]]

 

Got to admit this thread is supportive and humorous!!  Love the comment ."hope Ill be here to do the renovations".    Had to laugh at the comment only going to ER from here......... lol. 

Not much being accomplished here right now...apparently I'm definitely not one of the quick healers.  Cognitive function is returning very  slowly.  Do you have that nasty dizziness and a feeling of falling  over at times??

Decided no matter the weather and how I felt I needed to get groceries.  Oh my ........in the grocery aisle grabbed  the shelf almost ended up in the seafood bin.  Best to keep hold of the cart from here.  Thought that dizziness would be gone by now.  Have a peaceful day!  SBT

 

Hi SBT.  Dizziness and being off balance is one of my biggest and most persistent problems.  So sorry to hear you are dealing with this too.  It is very challenging to be out and about in the big stores.  I always use a cart even if I don't really need many items.  I have tried to find a pattern to it, but its so random.  I'm sure my BP medication, as well as age and benzo withdrawal are the culprits but I don't know exactly which is which.  So we just press on I guess and try to stay out of the seafood bin! 

 

XX

She

[[Su...]]

Yes I will hang onto that cart from now on.  I'm not on BP medication and I'm having that random dizziness.  Will suddenly fall over to the side.  I wouldn't bend down and pick something up I go into a head spin.. 

It really is hard to be out in public like that.  Hope this passes it would be nice to  feel free to go anywhere and do more as I heal. . 

 

 

 

[[bo...]]

Can't resist adding to the eyes conversation.. mine have been terrible right throughout the taper. Cloudy and fuzzy and making me want to constantly rub them to clear them , but of course that doesn't help. As I get lower in ativan they are getting better .

Cripes if they didn't have supermarket trolleys I would never go grocery shopping. I hang on to it for grim death and can only buy things that are on the shelves directly in front of me ! Can't look up or heaven help me look down to the bottom shelf without the dizzy spells taking over !

Anyone else been guilty of abandoning their trolley in the aisle ??!!

[[He...]]

I love that you call it a trolley.....the grocery store is tough for me.....shoot everything is tough for me. 

[Guest [Mo...]]

Lainey,

 

Hi Sweetie, hugs!  I did a search on cataracts and found a post you wrote, glad you replied to this.  Are your eyes cloudy just around outside?  That's the way mine are, has me worried.  The rest are clear and bright, but that tiny little bit sure is messing up my vision 

 

 

MG

 

Thought I would jump in here since I read that you are having problems with your eyes

 

just had mine checked last week...thought for sure I had MD (macular degeneration) or cataracts...I stopped wearing contacts years ago due to EXTREME dry eye

 

vision prescription changed a wee but just since last year but no other problems...hazing of cataracts but NOTHING that needs surgery now

 

My night vision is bad...lots of halos around lights etc

 

would get a cloudy spot in center of vision when trying to read

blurred vision

 

so its either benzo or neurological

[[so...]]

Hi everyone!

 

Does anyone still get panicky in grocery stores?  I feel like an alien.  I grab my groceries, dash for the checkout, forget to bring my own bags and end up piling everything back in the cart, throw the sh*t in the trunk and pant all the way home.

 

I probably left my brain in the cart or the trunk.

 

Sigh....anyone?

 

Sofa

[[bo...]]

I love that you call it a trolley.....the grocery store is tough for me.....shoot everything is tough for me.

 

 

What do you call it?

[[Sh...]]

Hi everyone!

 

Does anyone still get panicky in grocery stores?  I feel like an alien.  I grab my groceries, dash for the checkout, forget to bring my own bags and end up piling everything back in the cart, throw the sh*t in the trunk and pant all the way home.

 

I probably left my brain in the cart or the trunk.

 

Sigh....anyone?

 

Sofa

 

 

Sofa, any of the big stores are challenging for me.  I think its all the stimuli - bright lights, people milling about, noise, space.  I try to limit my time in any store so yeah, sometimes my grocery shopping is pretty random.  Grab and go.

 

She

 

[[la...]]

grocery store? I look like some kind of whacked out drug addict...holding onto cart..staring straight ahead...worried I am going to pass out or keel over with dizziness...such a shame

 

MG  my cloudiness was in center of my vision ...you need to have eyes checked  not to be playing with our vision...

 

this poison has robbed us of to much already

[[wa...]]

Yesterday I went grocery shopping with the rest of the panicked old ladies who needed stuff before the storm of the century was comin here in the northeast.  Well, I'm not a "little" old lady.  I'm over 5ft 10in and have packed on weight these last few months due to inactivity and restored appetite.  I do believe that people think I'm transgendered  - they rudely stare at me like they are trying to make a determination.  Soon I'm gonna bark at those gawkers:  "Do I PASS?"  just to mess with them.

 

Is bitterness a w/d symptom?  I'm chock full of it.  WBB

[[Sh...]]

 

Is bitterness a w/d symptom?  I'm chock full of it.  WBB

 

LOL yes I think it is! 

 

Another one for me is ENVY.  It doesn't take much to set me off turning green with envy.  Someone my age looking like they are enjoying life.  Someone obviously rude with health.  Any woman wearing a lovely new pair of pumps strolling along.  Ladies lunching without a care in the world.  Anyone who looks good in their clothes.  Someone sprinting to catch a bus.  Ladies with a luxurious mane of hair.  A group of people hanging out enjoying a glass of wine.  HOW DARE THEY???

 

She