50 and over club- withdrawal and recovery issues for the aged :-)

[[MT...]]

Today I started feeling more hope and felt a little better in the late morning and afternoon. Once I got past the morning I didn't have any of my usual "I can't" thoughts. Maybe this is survivable afterall

[[on...]]

Hi- fellow older buddies! Glad this thread is active again. I am actually in the midst of a decent window- enjoying it while it lasts! That and the beautiful fall weather here in Upstate New York- actually 82 degrees on Tuesday and 75 yesterday- has me in better spirits than I have been in quite a while.  Gives me hope that there may be a happy ending for me on this benzo journey...although I know a wave could knock me over tomorrow- I am trying to learn to embrace the good when it's here!

[[Ce...]]

Hi- fellow older buddies! Glad this thread is active again. I am actually in the midst of a decent window- enjoying it while it lasts! That and the beautiful fall weather here in Upstate New York- actually 82 degrees on Tuesday and 75 yesterday- has me in better spirits than I have been in quite a while.  Gives me hope that there may be a happy ending for me on this benzo journey...although I know a wave could knock me over tomorrow- I am trying to learn to embrace the good when it's here!

 

 

Good for you OTR!! Enjoy every window you can...just pretend there are no more waves. What I mean to say is live in the moment....

[[Ce...]]

Today I started feeling more hope and felt a little better in the late morning and afternoon. Once I got past the morning I didn't have any of my usual "I can't" thoughts. Maybe this is survivable afterall

 

Way to go mt!!  This is all looking so good! So many positive shares....

[[wa...]]

bump - not getting any younger I guess. 

[[on...]]

Wannabe- ha unfortunately that is true- might have to change the name to  the over 60 club soon!! Time goes by quickly.

[[Al...]]

That would mean I have to wait two months before qualifying! 

 

Its been wuiet here for some time eh.

 

ATU

[[wa...]]

So sick lately I can't even wander around as a warm body in a demonstration.  I am looking forward to not being just an observer.  i know there are things I can do and I've done stuff in pseudo-windows but can't even do that lately.  I can't wait to think about things other than my sxs.  WBB

[[Al...]]

Wannabebetter,

 

Hang there it will get better. I know it seems to take a long time but it will get better. Everyone heals in time. 👍

 

ATU

[[Su...]]

I'm thinking I'm too old for this!!!  Wow 2 years tapering. Liquifying and going very slow.  What a strain on the body brain and spirit.  No wonder some of us have felt we won't get out alive or unscathed. 

OMG now ive jumped I'm going through the post withdrawls sxs.

It's the big 65 birthday in May lol and I feelMy husband has had it I'm sure I know I have.  He's in the livingroom all day and I in the bedroom.  We are not talking.  Just too edgy and irritable or crying.  After 28 years of a close knit happy relationship together I think the fall out from Benzo nwithdrawl has and is ruining that. 

I do try to keep a light heart.  Today not feeling very confident.  Maybe I just need a boost from you aged people. Lol.  Thanks for this thread!

[[Ce...]]

I'm thinking I'm too old for this!!!  Wow 2 years tapering. Liquifying and going very slow.  What a strain on the body brain and spirit.  No wonder some of us have felt we won't get out alive or unscathed. 

OMG now ive jumped I'm going through the post withdrawls sxs.

It's the big 65 birthday in May lol and I feelMy husband has had it I'm sure I know I have.  He's in the livingroom all day and I in the bedroom.  We are not talking.  Just too edgy and irritable or crying.  After 28 years of a close knit happy relationship together I think the fall out from Benzo nwithdrawl has and is ruining that. 

I do try to keep a light heart.  Today not feeling very confident.  Maybe I just need a boost from you aged people. Lol.  Thanks for this thread!

 

Hang in there Surviving...it really is a strain on our partners, most of us say the same thing. It's hard for my partner to understand as well, but I keep shoving reading material under his nose. Like you, I'm in the bedroom and he's on the couch in the living room, it's like we are in two separate worlds. But, the love outweighs the misery. We will get through this. In our vows we say for better or worse...this is without a doubt the worse and if you have a strong relationship foundation, and it sounds to me like you do after 28 years of marriage, you will come out of this all that more strong.

 

Your relationship is not ruined, just temporarily on hold. Once you start to feel better, you can celebrate with each other somehow and start anew!  Hang in there, sweetie, you're doing the best that you can, and so is he.  I'm CeCe, btw...nice to meet you and I'm glad you posted on this thread to get it going again...it's one of my faves!  :smitten:

[[on...]]

Surviving- please do not lose hope! It will get better and your marriage will survive. I am 60- married thirty one years this April- and withdrawing off xanax after 30 years was a challenge to our relationship to say the least...my mood swings and symptoms were tough to take I am sure- but we hung in there and I am starting to see hope for a normal life at the end of this...I feel signs the old me- pre benzo- is starting to emerge little by little and I think the challenges have made me love my husband more for sticking with me through this hell. Now that the taper is behind you better days are ahead. Believe that!

[[Fi...]]

I turn 66  next month, married 43 years in June.  Going through this almost broke up our marriage, but we've come out stronger than ever because of it.  Hang in there.  You can make it too.  Check my success story!

[[Sh...]]

I'm 68,  so you are all youngsters to me. I was on 2mg Estazalom for about 8 years and will be benzo free next week. All of my withdrawal sx are improved and many are gone.  It was a long, tough slog but I am optimistic that a full recovery if near.

[[wa...]]

Yes - this process has taken it's toll on my marriage, too.  I am so preoccupied and self centered with my sxs I forgot to wish hubby a happy birthday this morning and have been riddled with guilt all day.  I sang Happy Birthday to him on his voice mail at least.  I truly am doing my best every day.  I just hope I am well enough someday to show him that it was w/d - not me - and that the mistakes I've made in our marriage are not personal.  I wasn't deliberately trying to make us miserable.  WBB

[[co...]]

I'm 65  and started the taper  2 years ago after 7 years on Klonopin and tapered off that with valium.But for the lifeof me can't get over this 20mgs a day.

I've been  taking  the whole 2 10mgs in the morning. I know I should spread it out but 10mgs just doesn't do a thing for me..Yeah, I'm I'll admit  it , I am an addict...Thanks to all the wonderful doctors out there that just  gave  them out like candy.

I have a most patient and understanding MD  now that  asked if I wanted off the K. He's is patient  with my  taper and doesn't push but  doesn't even suggest upping the dose as other quacks in the industry have done...PHew. I said it all.Thanks for being here  for me to air it out.

 

 

[[Sh...]]

I'm 65  and started the taper  2 years ago after 7 years on Klonopin and tapered off that with valium.But for the lifeof me can't get over this 20mgs a day.

I've been  taking  the whole 2 10mgs in the morning. I know I should spread it out but 10mgs just doesn't do a thing for me..Yeah, I'm I'll admit  it , I am an addict...Thanks to all the wonderful doctors out there that just  gave  them out like candy.

I have a most patient and understanding MD  now that  asked if I wanted off the K. He's is patient  with my  taper and doesn't push but  doesn't even suggest upping the dose as other quacks in the industry have done...PHew. I said it all.Thanks for being here  for me to air it out.

 

Hi Courti,

 

Welcome to our collective nightmare!  Not only struggling with one of the worst experiences in life, but doing so while facing the joys of encroaching old age.  I'm right there with you.  Sounds like you have a good doctor to help you through the process, something many of us have not been able to find.  Many people tapering Valium take their dose once daily and with its long half life, that doesn't seem to be a problem usually.  Hang in there and keep your head down and slogging forward.  You will get there!

 

She

[[Su...]]

Yes - this process has taken it's toll on my marriage, too.  I am so preoccupied and self centered with my sxs I forgot to wish hubby a happy birthday this morning and have been riddled with guilt all day.  I sang Happy Birthday to him on his voice mail at least.  I truly am doing my best every day.  I just hope I am well enough someday to show him that it was w/d - not me - and that the mistakes I've made in our marriage are not personal.  I wasn't deliberately trying to make us miserable.  WBB

 

It's not actually funny at all...But my nerves aren't good and I busted out laughing as you nailed it ....That is so where I'm at...Surely  he won't give up on me .  Dudley I will not find myself in divorce court.  I have a short fuse...I the self centered s freak seems almost uncontrollable need..  It felt good to laugh.  That doesn't happen often yet.  SBT

[[Ce...]]

Yes - this process has taken it's toll on my marriage, too.  I am so preoccupied and self centered with my sxs I forgot to wish hubby a happy birthday this morning and have been riddled with guilt all day.  I sang Happy Birthday to him on his voice mail at least.  I truly am doing my best every day.  I just hope I am well enough someday to show him that it was w/d - not me - and that the mistakes I've made in our marriage are not personal.  I wasn't deliberately trying to make us miserable.  WBB

 

Hi WBB 

 

Hope you are better today. Believe in yourself. You are going to feel good enough someday to move on and make peace with the past. None of this is your fault and you said it yourself; you're doing the best you can...that's all you can do!

 

You're incident reminds me of a story my momma told me years ago. She baked a beautiful cake and had a sweet little party for my dad's birthday, candles, hats the whole bit. Then, my dad looked at her lovingly and whispered in her ear, 'thank you sweetheart, but my birthday was 2 days ago.' She feels bad and gets embarrassed about that to this day and she's 82 years old! So funny. Don't do that to yourself. It happens...she was never on a benzo and was perfectly 'normal'. Sometimes things happen because we are only human.

[[Su...]]

Surviving- please do not lose hope! It will get better and your marriage will survive. I am 60- married thirty one years this April- and withdrawing off xanax after 30 years was a challenge to our relationship to say the least...my mood swings and symptoms were tough to take I am sure- but we hung in there and I am starting to see hope for a normal life at the end of this...I feel signs the old me- pre benzo- is starting to emerge little by little and I think the challenges have made me love my husband more for sticking with me through this hell. Now that the taper is behind you better days are ahead. Believe that!

 

Thank you so much for that boost.  I made that list yesterday and just found your reply.  That means solo much to me.  Yes I'm having a minute orcso here and there where I breathe and know it's ok with us...It's quieter today.  Yes I will trust the foundation we have together will see us through this....It really could be worse.    Your right!    :smitten.    :SBT

 

Shewhomust....I like the collective nightmare as a description of this.  .....Honestly if u can find a shred of humor it helps

[[Su...]]

Cece...Thanks so much very happy I posted here as the replies are of more help than anything.  Your right!  This is part of the process.  The healing.  I will take a deep breath and try and stay more in th3 day instead of the what ifs........one good thing at least I'm making enough sense to get replies now lo!.

[[Ce...]]

Cece...Thanks so much very happy I posted here as the replies are of more help than anything.  Your right!  This is part of the process.  The healing.  I will take a deep breath and try and stay more in th3 day instead of the what ifs........one good thing at least I'm making enough sense to get replies now lo!.

 

I sure know how you feel there! I thought I'd never make sense again. What a crazy turn we've taken, right? Lot's and LOT'S of deep breaths, it's the only thing that gets me through.

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

I love this thread and all of you.  I am 63 and I refuse to let these pills take any more of my life.  I will fight...wait...accept...believe.

 

Sofa

[[Sh...]]

The fight is more poignant for us isn't it?  We don't have decades on the back end to reclaim 100% health and make up for all the years benzos have stolen from us.  This is on my mind a lot.  The passing of time.  I try to not dwell on it, but I can't ignore it.  Its hard sometimes to know what are plain old aging issues and what is truly benzo related.  We here on the forum are used to pointing the finger at benzos but is it really?  I don't mean those things that we KNOW are due to the drugs, but the issues that crop up over time.  Things that might be inevitable, but that the withdrawal has made worse at the very least.  Hard to know for sure. 

 

This time in our lives is supposed to be our last hurrah, to grab life and do all those things we wanted to do but were too busy working and raising kids.  My husband and I have a "bucket list" of mostly travel but I am too undependable to make the plans.  We do a few things here and there, but not the grand plans we had as we approached retirement.  Just ruminating on a Sunday morning THAT STARTED TOO LATE DUE TO THE TIME CHANGE!!!!

 

She

[[wa...]]

The fight is more poignant for us isn't it?  We don't have decades on the back end to reclaim 100% health and make up for all the years benzos have stolen from us.  This is on my mind a lot.  The passing of time.  I try to not dwell on it, but I can't ignore it.  Its hard sometimes to know what are plain old aging issues and what is truly benzo related.  We here on the forum are used to pointing the finger at benzos but is it really?  I don't mean those things that we KNOW are due to the drugs, but the issues that crop up over time.  Things that might be inevitable, but that the withdrawal has made worse at the very least.  Hard to know for sure. 

 

This time in our lives is supposed to be our last hurrah, to grab life and do all those things we wanted to do but were too busy working and raising kids.  My husband and I have a "bucket list" of mostly travel but I am too undependable to make the plans.  We do a few things here and there, but not the grand plans we had as we approached retirement.  Just ruminating on a Sunday morning THAT STARTED TOO LATE DUE TO THE TIME CHANGE!!!!

 

She

YES, SHE -

Most of us had a bunch of stuff going on in our lives healthwise before getting ensnared by these drugs.  I've been victimized by all kinds of doctors, too, in all kinds of ways and just don't feel I have the motivation anymore to address any more health concerns subsequent to this w/d (unless i land in an ER).  All the routine medical s**t and then some with my "underlying" conditions.  I've had enough!

Also, I have health issues that mimic w/d but had them prior to the wrongly prescribed Ativan and years later the Lunesta.  Did these conditions progress during my somnambulism on benzos? Did benzos aggravate them?  Will these conditions fall away after w/d like the "regulars"?  Will I live long enough to renovate the bathroom?  Etc. WBB