You will heal too!

[[pa...]]

hi jazzy,

 

i also did not have anxiety or depression before this "benzo hell". (only to the level of what other normal people would have.)

for my case, i got minor panic attack due to lack of sleep for about 5 weeks. did not know at the time.

this benzo hell is also killing me. have been homebounded for almost a year and half of that time was "bed-ridden". can't belive how i survived all those time. (i had a severe adverse reaction from all those poisons that i took.)

what i am trying to tell you is that you also have gone through a lot in the past. you are almost at the finish line jazzy.

 

i go through different person feeling everyday. it even changes in a same day. do not know which one is real me.

you are already seeing a good improvement. 2 great days is a good sign.

 

you are in a good hand and strong enough to cross the finish line. please wait for me on the other side while i am huddling.

[[Ja...]]

Tx pacific. I can't wait for that day. You will be there with me. We will celebrate. Tx for the encouragement.

[[Ja...]]

Actually in the last 5 weeks I have had 4 amazing days and many ok days. It's just the bad symptoms that I wish I could eradicate. Like the body nerve pain I have now-used to have. I read that Sometimes when symptoms come back, they then leave for good. I sure hope so.

[[ce...]]

C-

 

Started a part time job last week and my symptoms (visual overload/boaty/dizzy)  have been revved up since.  Was feeling quite good before and I am hoping this is just a temporary thing.  Would love your insight.  I am a bit discouraged to be contending with this at 15 months off.

 

Warmly,

TG

Hey TG.  Part time job is great!!!  All you can do is just keep going and hope for the best. There really isn't anything else to do. 

 

Lots of love to you!!!   

[[ce...]]

I had two phenomenal days last weekend. I felt amazing all day. Slept 8 1/2 hours. Post those two days I am getting more vibrations, more nerve pain and felt depressed today- haven't had depression for the past 4 days. I feel like my body is punishing me for giving me great days. I realize my body is healing, but why are the symptoms getting more pronounced? Is this normal?

Hey Jazzy. Yes, it's a roller coaster ride like no other!  Ups and downs, no feelings, tons of feelings.  Who can truly understand the entire Central Nervous System.  It is repairing, so just hang on! 

[[tu...]]

C- Wondering if you had flare ups in symptoms like this at this point off (15 months)?

[[Ja...]]

Tx Cedartree. I am trying to hold on tight. Hope this ride iis over soon.

 

[[ce...]]

C- Wondering if you had flare ups in symptoms like this at this point off (15 months)?

Only if there was a lot of stress, and I mean a lot. Stress can do all kinds of things to us physiologically. Still, don't lose hope.  Try to focus on how far you've come.  I mean....you're working!  That's great!   

[[pa...]]

hi cedartree,

 

so deperate to find a hope and strength now. have been too sick for a whole year.

just too many mental/physical symptoms to carry while healing and too many severe symptoms that comes and goes.

can't seem to find a little peace or break.

yes. time is the best medicine. but until then, how much longer do i have to deal with all those nasty symptoms? i do not trust my brain anymore, because it's keep changing everyday. already suffered too many severe symptoms for a year now.

any encouragement or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

 

 

[[ce...]]

Hi Pacific.  I also suffered for over a year's time.  If I really go back and think about it, it was more like 2 years because I was in tolerance withdrawal and had extreme wd symptoms before I even started tapering, then all through my taper and for months afterward.  It's a long haul and I really can empathize with what that is like.  It's hell on earth.  Who can really live like this?  But, somehow we survive it even if we aren't really living life at all.  We breathe in and out and just keep holding on, because what else can you do?

 

Well, I have a few good ideas actually.  I spent countless hours trying to think up ways to get over this (without taking any drugs of any kind). 

 

1. Pray, meditate (or both)

2. Try to relax, rest, breathe deeply (a lot)

3. Accept and know in your heart that this is temporary (believe in your bodies ability to heal)

4. Eat as healthy and clean as you possibly can (whole fruits, vegetables, lots of water, no processed foods, no caffiene, no alcohol, no sugar, etc.)

5. Follow strict sleep hygiene rules (I have a long list for this too that include going to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time everyday, no computer or TV at least 1 hour before sleeping, no lights of any kind in the bedroom, warm bath before bed, etc)

6. Exercise a little everyday (even going for a small walk, stretching, etc.)

7. Distract, distract, distract; try very hard not to think about wd. Read a book, watch a comedy, talk to a friend, go shopping, anything.

8. Live one day at a time and try not to worry about the future (I know how hard this is)

9. Do something for someone else.  (if we think about others, suddenly we're not thinking about our own pain, it works.)

10. Speak ONLY positive things about yourself, your ability to heal, about your life.  Negative speech only reinforces what you are experiencing. There is incredible power in speaking out loud. Truly our brains begin to believe whatever we say out loud on a regular basis.  If you say things like "I can't do this anymore", its very likely you can't do this anymore and you'll begin to despair and give up instead of taking positive actions to recover.  If you say things like "I can do this", "I am strong", etc OUT LOUD, then your mind and body will follow suit.  Don't ask me how or why this works, it just does.  I did this and it has changed the way I live my life.

11. Go outside, look at nature, enjoy the beauty of the world, the sky, the trees, etc. Get some sun.  It's proven that Vitamin D is very healthy for us and causes lots of happy endorphines. So do two things on this list at once and go for a walk in the sun!

12. Socialize. Spend time with others.  It's also proven that social people are happy people.  I know that you don't always want to visit when your'e not feeling good, but talk to someone close to you (while going for a walk, in the sun; there you go three things on the list done at once!)

 

 

Granted, you're not always going to feel up to doing all of these things all the time.  I get it.  But, as you can implement these things, you'll notice yourself feeling stronger and better even sooner. 

[[Ca...]]

Cedar tree,

  This is a great list of coping behavior, thank you. I have enjoyed your posts and often retread your success story. I've had a long bumpy taper and hearing stories like yours helps me believe I can do it again tomorrow. Thank you.

Carita

[[pa...]]

Hi Pacific.  I also suffered for over a year's time.  If I really go back and think about it, it was more like 2 years because I was in tolerance withdrawal and had extreme wd symptoms before I even started tapering, then all through my taper and for months afterward.  It's a long haul and I really can empathize with what that is like.  It's hell on earth.  Who can really live like this?  But, somehow we survive it even if we aren't really living life at all.  We breathe in and out and just keep holding on, because what else can you do?

 

Well, I have a few good ideas actually.  I spent countless hours trying to think up ways to get over this (without taking any drugs of any kind). 

 

1. Pray, meditate (or both)

2. Try to relax, rest, breathe deeply (a lot)

3. Accept and know in your heart that this is temporary (believe in your bodies ability to heal)

4. Eat as healthy and clean as you possibly can (whole fruits, vegetables, lots of water, no processed foods, no caffiene, no alcohol, no sugar, etc.)

5. Follow strict sleep hygiene rules (I have a long list for this too that include going to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time everyday, no computer or TV at least 1 hour before sleeping, no lights of any kind in the bedroom, warm bath before bed, etc)

6. Exercise a little everyday (even going for a small walk, stretching, etc.)

7. Distract, distract, distract; try very hard not to think about wd. Read a book, watch a comedy, talk to a friend, go shopping, anything.

8. Live one day at a time and try not to worry about the future (I know how hard this is)

9. Do something for someone else.  (if we think about others, suddenly we're not thinking about our own pain, it works.)

10. Speak ONLY positive things about yourself, your ability to heal, about your life.  Negative speech only reinforces what you are experiencing. There is incredible power in speaking out loud. Truly our brains begin to believe whatever we say out loud on a regular basis.  If you say things like "I can't do this anymore", its very likely you can't do this anymore and you'll begin to despair and give up instead of taking positive actions to recover.  If you say things like "I can do this", "I am strong", etc OUT LOUD, then your mind and body will follow suit.  Don't ask me how or why this works, it just does.  I did this and it has changed the way I live my life.

11. Go outside, look at nature, enjoy the beauty of the world, the sky, the trees, etc. Get some sun.  It's proven that Vitamin D is very healthy for us and causes lots of happy endorphines. So do two things on this list at once and go for a walk in the sun!

12. Socialize. Spend time with others.  It's also proven that social people are happy people.  I know that you don't always want to visit when your'e not feeling good, but talk to someone close to you (while going for a walk, in the sun; there you go three things on the list done at once!)

 

 

Granted, you're not always going to feel up to doing all of these things all the time.  I get it.  But, as you can implement these things, you'll notice yourself feeling stronger and better even sooner. 

 

hi cedartree,

you are just marvelous to write this long post for me. "bless you from my heart".

unfortunately, i was too symptomatic from beginning of taking poisons. went through too many nightmares in a year.  of course, klonopin was the worst.

with your warm hearted posts, i am trying to get my energy back to fight this battle and "win".

love you so much. 

[[ce...]]

Cedar tree,

  This is a great list of coping behavior, thank you. I have enjoyed your posts and often retread your success story. I've had a long bumpy taper and hearing stories like yours helps me believe I can do it again tomorrow. Thank you.

Carita

Hi Carita.  Thank you so much for sharing this. It is such a long road isn't it?  Just one day at a time. 

[[...]]

 

Thanks Cedar

That looks like excellent advice! I wish I would do better on the sleep hygiene and sugar

Bart

[[ce...]]

 

Thanks Cedar

That looks like excellent advice! I wish I would do better on the sleep hygiene and sugar

Bart

Even I have to admit that I love sugar too. 

[[Sk...]]

It is kind of you to continually be there for support for other members like this, Cedar.  I hope you are blessed for it. 

 

SZ-

[Guest [CM...]]

Thinking of you cedar, so happy you continue to be well and sticking around the forum for support.

You're a star!

Melo x

[[ce...]]

It is kind of you to continually be there for support for other members like this, Cedar.  I hope you are blessed for it. 

 

SZ-

Thanks Skyzone.  I feel very blessed.  How are you doing these days?

[[ce...]]

Thinking of you cedar, so happy you continue to be well and sticking around the forum for support.

You're a star!

Melo x

Well look who stopped in to say hello!  HEY Melo!  How are you doing?  Hope you're feeling great and enjoying everyday!!! 

[[pa...]]

50 days of benzo free.

sleep has not returned. praying every night for a return of sleep. in fact, it's getting worse.

need it desperately to speed up the recovery. besides the sleep hygiene, do you have any suggestions at all?

[[ce...]]

50 days of benzo free.

sleep has not returned. praying every night for a return of sleep. in fact, it's getting worse.

need it desperately to speed up the recovery. besides the sleep hygiene, do you have any suggestions at all?

There's a whole list of rules for strict hygiene which I'll have to get back to later.  I'll stop in this weekend and share them with you.

[[Sk...]]

50 days of benzo free.

sleep has not returned. praying every night for a return of sleep. in fact, it's getting worse.

need it desperately to speed up the recovery. besides the sleep hygiene, do you have any suggestions at all?

 

I really hope you feel better soon. 

 

-SZ-

[[Sk...]]

It is kind of you to continually be there for support for other members like this, Cedar.  I hope you are blessed for it. 

 

SZ-

Thanks Skyzone.  I feel very blessed.  How are you doing these days?

 

I am well.  Thank You.  I get some waves but they are not that bad.  I am about half way done with my taper.  I am starting to feel not as drugged anymore.  Each dose reduction makes me look forward to the day I am done with the taper.  Time does pass by if you stick to a plan. 

 

-SZ- 

[[pa...]]

50 days of benzo free.

sleep has not returned. praying every night for a return of sleep. in fact, it's getting worse.

need it desperately to speed up the recovery. besides the sleep hygiene, do you have any suggestions at all?

 

I really hope you feel better soon. 

 

-SZ-

 

thank you skyzone.

so far, no major break yet. just one thing after another.

praying every night for my sleep to return.

how are you doing?

[[ho...]]

Dear Cedar,

Thank you SO much for this. I am struggling at a level I can't describe but that I am sure you understand. I needed to hear this right now. So happy for you. Thank you for sharing some hope!

HopefulGirl